Interpersonal Conflict Examples

There are times when people simply don't get along. The larger the workforce, the more

opportunities there are for relationship conflicts to arise. These are conflicts that happen because of

misunderstandings, miscommunications and naivety about other people. A common example of a

person vs. person interpersonal conflict scenario at work could include a male subordinate who

doesn't believe that a female leader is capable of giving orders or that she should be giving orders.

Another potential example of person vs. person interpersonal conflict could be of a female

supervisor who believes that a male subordinate might not know what he is doing simply because he

is younger. In both instances, the conflict arises from suppositions, not reality. Another example

could be cultural misconceptions. There are other times where employees become friends with each

other, and a rift in the relationship develops, causing tension and conflict at work. This type of

conflict is mitigated by diversification training and and by setting specific employee standards for

conduct.

Inter-Dependency Conflict Examples

Many work environments can be compared to an assembly line of workers who need to complete

specific tasks before another department can complete a new task. For example, if Jack is

responsible for delivering floral arrangements that the production department has made, he can't do

his job if that department falls behind. The task doesn't necessarily need to be between

departments; the task could be among specific individuals. An accounting department might require

Keith to input all customer data before Alex can run the reports, which Keith will then give to

management. Mitigating these issues requires proper staffing and training to ensure that there are

enough people who can complete the required jobs so that the assembly line is not interrupted.

Conflict is simply differing ideas or actions, often related to the selfish pursuit of needs (known and
unknown) that end in a state of unrest. It is a necessary and permanent part of life. The important
thing to remember is that conflict is natural. It can be a slight conflict that causes no harm or an
egregious conflict that results in irreparable damage.
Conflict itself is neither good nor bad. When conflict is addressed maturely with an eye to a positive
resolution it can, in most cases, lead to growth among all the conflicting parties. There are four main
types of conflict, and they stem from many sources. This lesson reviews the major types and
sources of conflict and offers examples of each.
Types of Conflict
When looking for the source of a conflict, it's important to remember that the different types of
conflict reflect where the conflict originates (internally or externally) and the number of people
involved (personal or group).
The prefix inter- relates to external origination. You can remember this by the 'e' in 'inter-' and
'external.' The prefix intra- relates to internal origination.

Conflict is an inevitable part of life. Each of us possesses our own opinions, ideas and sets of
beliefs. We have our own ways of looking at things and we act according to what we think is
proper. Hence, we often find ourselves in conflict in different scenarios; may it involve other
individuals, groups of people, or a struggle within our own selves. Consequently, conflict
influences our actions and decisions in one way or another.

Conflict is classified into the following four types:

 Interpersonal conflict refers to a conflict between two individuals. This occurs typically

due to how people are different from one another. We have varied personalities which
usually results to incompatible choices and opinions. Apparently, it is a natural
occurrence which can eventually help in personal growth or developing your
relationships with others. In addition, coming up with adjustments is necessary for
managing this type of conflict. However, when interpersonal conflict gets too destructive,
calling in a mediator would help so as to have it resolved.

Interpersonal Conflict
Interpersonal conflict is the conflict that takes place between individuals--friends,
family members, couples or even strangers. These types of conflicts usually take
place when people communicate directly with each other.
Interpersonal Conflict
Conflict that exists between two people is called interpersonal conflict. The conflict is external to
each person (hence the 'inter-' prefix) and exists only between the two people. Interpersonal conflict
can be seen any time two people disagree on a topic. We see it in people as young as toddlers
when they fight over a single toy and as old as two nursing home patients when they argue over
politics. Because we have different likes and dislikes, enjoy different things, and view the world from
different perspectives, interpersonal conflicts are bound to happen.

 Intrapersonal conflict occurs within an individual. The experience takes place in the

person’s mind. Hence, it is a type of conflict that is psychological involving the
individual’s thoughts, values, principles and emotions. Interpersonal conflict may come
in different scales, from the simpler mundane ones like deciding whether or not to go
organic for lunch to ones that can affect major decisions such as choosing a career path.
Furthermore, this type of conflict can be quite difficult to handle if you find it hard to
decipher your inner struggles. It leads to restlessness and uneasiness, or can even cause
 depression. In such occasions, it would be best to seek a way to let go of the anxiety
through communicating with other people. Eventually, when you find yourself out of the
situation, you can become more empowered as a person. Thus, the experience evoked a
positive change which will help you in your own personal growth.

Intrapersonal Conflict
The conflict that is happening inside of an individual is intrapersonal conflict. This type
of conflict takes place when there is an inconsistency in our ideas, attitudes, emotions
or values.

Intrapersonal Conflict
Remembering that the prefix 'intra-' means originating internally, you can see that intrapersonal
conflict is when you feel conflicted about your own thoughts or actions. Maybe you've always told
people they should help the homeless and then, when you see a homeless person on the street, you
become afraid and turn away. The disconnect between your words and actions may cause internal
turmoil. Intrapersonal conflict is always a psychological battle for the person experiencing it. While
intrapersonal conflict can be difficult, its resolution results in a stronger understanding of yourself.
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 Intragroup conflict is a type of conflict that happens among individuals within a team.
The incompatibilities and misunderstandings among these individuals lead to an
intragroup conflict. It is arises from interpersonal disagreements (e.g. team members have
different personalities which may lead to tension) or differences in views and ideas (e.g.
in a presentation, members of the team might find the notions presented by the one
presiding to be erroneous due to their differences in opinion). Within a team, conflict can
be helpful in coming up with decisions which will eventually allow them to reach their
objectives as a team. However, if the degree of conflict disrupts harmony among the
members, then some serious guidance from a different party will be needed for it to be
settled.

Intragroup Conflict
Conflict that occurs within a small group of people is intragroup conflict. These
conflicts can involve members of a family or workplace team and usually stem from
individual differences that end up affecting the entire group.

Intergroup Conflict
'Inter-' means external and 'group' means sets of multiple things, so intergroup conflict relates to
conflicts that happen between solidified groups of people. This type of conflict happens constantly
during any heated political campaign. It isn't just the two candidates in conflict, but individuals who
strongly identify with one or the other may be involved in the clash of ideas and ideology.

 Intergroup conflict takes place when a misunderstanding arises among different teams

within an organization. For instance, the sales department of an organization can come in
conflict with the customer support department. This is due to the varied sets of goals and
interests of these different groups. In addition, competition also contributes for intergroup
conflict to arise. There are other factors which fuel this type of conflict. Some of these
factors may include a rivalry in resources or the boundaries set by a group to others
which establishes their own identity as a team.
Intergroup Conflict
Intergroup conflict occurs between different groups. An example is the feud that
occurred between the Montagues and the Capulets in Shakespeare's "Romeo and
Juliet." When conflict is this large, it can often continue for many years and is
extremely complicated to resolve.

Conflict may seem to be a problem to some, but this isn’t how conflict should be perceived. On
the other hand, it is an opportunity for growth and can be an effective means of opening up
among groups or individuals. However, when conflict begins to draws back productivity and
gives way to more conflicts, then conflict management would be needed to come up with
a resolution.

By Brad Evans, typesofconflic.org

Specific Causes of Conflicts
Communication Breakdown

In today’s world, all the departments in organizations are inter-

connected. Communication between all the departments is quite general
and obvious. It is because communication helps them to co-operate and
co-ordinate with each other.

But there are certain chances of emergence of conflict between them. It

can happen if one department asks for some information from some
other department and that department does not respond to the request.

Moreover, there are instances when a department puts the request of

another department under the status of ‘under review’. This becomes
one of the causes of conflicts.

Expectation of Manager

In every organization, a manager expects something from each of these

subordinates. It becomes the duty of the subordinates to fulfil the
expectation of the manager.

But there are certain chances when they might misunderstand their
expectations. Undoubtedly, transmission of order by the manager is
important but at the same time, it is necessary to get their acceptance as
well (especially in writing).
This way, the organization, as well as the managers, will be able to
work on one of the causes of conflicts.

Information Misunderstood

Each person has his own level of understanding and knowledge which
he applies to understand things and facts. In an organization too, the
employees have different levels of education and understanding level.

Whenever they receive any information either from the top level or
from the lower level, they try their level best to interpret the
information. There are certain instances when they fail to interpret the
actual meaning of the information.

This can lead to further conflicts. In order to solve such kind of

conflicts, it is necessary for the employees to admit their
misunderstanding of the information.

Moreover, the managers should provide an opportunity for the workers

to give feedback without any fear.

Solved Example on Causes of Conflicts

Q.Explain how can ‘Lack of Accountability’ become a cause of
conflict in an organization?

Answer Responsibility is yet another important aspect of any

organization.

But there can be certain instances when someone commits a mistake

and no one is ready to take over the responsibility of the act because
there is no accountability which is created at the time of assignment of
the work.
 This may lead to frustration among the workers and ultimately to
conflicts in the organization.

In order to combat this cause of conflict, the organization must set an

organizational working structure in which every person who receives
any work, must sign on a paper stating his approval of taking the
accountability for the work.

This may also lead to better coordination at all the levels of the
organization.

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Major causes of workplace conflict

Other major causes of conflict in the workplace include:

 Personality clashes - the 'personality mix' within a team can be upset when a new member of staff
joins or if two colleagues suddenly fall out. Individuals may also respond to difficult or challenging
situations in an unhelpful or unproductive way.
 Unrealistic needs and expectations - conflict at work can often be caused when employers ignore
the needs of employees or set unrealistic expectations. For example, arranging hours that make it
difficult for employees to carry out childcare responsibilities.
 Business values - most people have very clear ideas about what they think is fair, and your
organisation's procedures and policies must reflect this. For example, giving someone a fair hearing
or explaining the reasoning behind a decision.
 Unresolved workplace issues - for example, an employee might ask to be moved to another team
because of their manager's 'aggressive' leadership style. However, the employee may have other
reasons - for example, they may blame their manager for a lack of training or career progression.
 Increase in workload - sometimes workplace conflict is caused because people feel they are being
pushed too hard and resentment sets in if they feel their workload is unmanageable.

Sources of Organizational Conflict

The sources of organizational conflict can be classified into two main
categories: structural factors, which relate to the nature of the organization and the way in
which work is organized; and personal factors, which relate to differences between
organizational members.

Structural Factors
There are eight structural aspects of an organization that are likely to cause conflicts. They
are specialization, common resources, goal differences, interdependence, authority
relationships, status differences, jurisdictional ambiguities, and roles and expectations. Let's
examine each of these in turn.

Specialization
Employees tend to become either experts at a particular job task or to obtain a general
knowledge of many tasks. When the majority of employees in an organization are specialists,
conflicts may arise because workers have little knowledge of one another's job
responsibilities. For example, a receptionist at a camera repair store may tell you that your
camera can be repaired in an hour. In fact, the repair will take a week, but the receptionist has
little knowledge of the technician's job and so gives an unrealistic deadline, thereby paving
the way for conflict with the technician.

Common Resources
 In many work situations, we are obliged to share resources: The scarcer the resource the
greater the potential for conflict. For example, imagine that your class had an essay due
tomorrow and there was only one computer available. The chances of conflict among the
students would be high.

Goal Differences
Sometimes groups or departments in the organization have different and incompatible goals,
increasing the chances of employees experiencing conflict. For instance, a computer
salesperson may want to sell as many computers as possible and deliver them quickly; the
manufacturing facility, however, may be unable to assemble and inspect enough computers to
meet the sales promises.

Interdependence
Sometimes one employee must depend on another to complete a task. When workers are in
an interdependent situation, it is easy to blame a co-worker when something goes wrong. For
example, a manager may clash with a systems analyst who provides inaccurate data.

Authority Relationships
Often, there is underlying tension between managers and employees. This is because most
people do not like being told what to do. Managers who are overly strict are frequently in
conflict with their employees – hence, the growing popularity of team approaches and
empowerment strategies.

Status Differences
In many organizations, managers are granted privileges denied to other employees. For
instance, managers may enjoy flexible hours, free personal long-distance calls, and longer
breaks. In the words of one management consultant, "If you want to know who is really
important in the organization, just observe the signs in the parking lot and watch for the
distance between the parking and the office building; the bigger the sign and the closer to the
building, the higher the status of the incumbent." Some organizations are creating a more
egalitarian appearance to reduce conflicts that result from status differences.

Jurisdictional Ambiguities
Jurisdictional ambiguities occur when the lines of responsibility in an organization are
uncertain. When it is unclear who does what, employees have a tendency to pass unwanted
 tasks onto the next person. Think of the times you have telephoned a company or government
agency and been transferred to several people and departments before being served. Detailed
job descriptions can help to eliminate jurisdictional ambiguities and the conflicts arising from
them.

Roles and Expectations

A role refers to the behaviors and activities expected of an employee. Every employee plays
one or more roles within the organization. These roles are usually defined through a
combination of such elements as job title, description of duties, and agreements between the
employee and the organization. Manager–subordinate conflict can result when the
subordinate's role is not clearly defined and each party has a different understanding of that
role.

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Source of conflict
The `source' of an interpersonal conflict is the underlying reason for the emergence of conflict.
Understanding and conceptually organizing
the sources of conflict can greatly help improve the chances of
resolving
the conflict. Understanding human behavior can help reveal the motivations of individuals
involved in the conflict. While interest analysis illuminates the motivations of individual conflict
participants, the process of identifying the sources of conflict illuminates the features of the
relationship
among conflict participants that foster conflict.
Main Sources of Conflict
Following are the main sources of conflict.
1. Resources
2. Data-type or about facts or laws
3. Preferences and nuisances
4. Differing attributions of causation
5. Communication problems
6. Differences in conflict orientation
7. Structural or interpersonal power
8. Identity
9. Values
10. Displaced and misattributed
The 8 causes of conflict (and what to do about them)

Duane Rohrbacher
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Apr 5, 2017 · 10 min read
How are we ever going to get better at reframing conflict if we don’t practice?
This post is experiential. My goal is to highlight that, with practice, anyone can reframe how
they manage conflict.
A lot of people do not want to “practice.” I get that. Practice is annoying. It’s just do, or do not,
there is no try. The funny thing about that quote is that Luke Skywalker practiced a lot to control
the ship in The Empire Strikes Back. He did not just walk up to his plane and raise it out of the
swamp. He had to practice with stones.
One of my biggest gripes with many public figures is that they often do not talk about the
practice. Their followers dream about their successes and how to emulate them. Here’s a secret:
you can. Not with 10,000 hours of practice, which is a popular goal. You can do it
with deliberate practice. I will not spend time on deliberate practice now, but I’ve linked to the
original article, so that you can check out what deliberate practice is.
Practice Reframing the 8 Causes of Conflict
Art Bell and Bret Hart (not the professional wrestler) published studies in 2002 and 2009 that
examined the eight major causes of conflict. The focus of their work was on workplace conflict,
but as well all know, workplace conflict is simply a projection of all conflict. I’ll identify the
eight causes, provide context into why these are common causes of conflict, and give you a little
insight into how you can practice reframing when these causes arise in your conflicts.
Cause 1: Resources
Money is hard. Either you have too much or you don’t have enough. If you have too much,
someone might chastise you for having so much and spending irresponsibly. If you don’t have
enough, someone might shame you for not participating in activities that you consider too
expensive. When it comes to money, the underlying argument is often about the relationship. In
money-envy situations (e.g., YOU can do whatever YOU want because YOU have so much
money), the other person is likely worried about his or her own financial situation. That worry
can lead to an assumption that you do not understand his or her situation.
When reframing, put the onus back on that person and offer to help. On the opposite end, in
money-shaming (e.g., Why are you so cheap? Just buy that), the cause is usually your
relationship. Instead of simply saying no, you can ask about other things the person has done or
wanting to see if you might be willing to join him or her in less expensive adventures.
Cause 2: Approaches to conflict
Your approach to conflict is instrumental into how you reframe conflict. There is a very good
chance that your approach to conflict differs from the person whom with you are having conflict.
This makes it incredibly challenging to manage that conflict. It’s not like you are going to
require everyone you know to take a conflict quiz (like the one I am creating) so that you know
how that person approaches conflict. Instead, you have to look for the root causes.
If people do not think that you are listening to them because you don’t make eye contact, practice
repeating what the other person is saying to show that you understand. When it comes to
approach, it is important to decide what the person’s approach is (confronter, avoider,
collaborator, accommodator, compromiser). Once you figure out what your approach to conflict
is and learn about all the approaches, you can start to figure out how others approach conflict and
adapt your approach to work better with that person.
Cause 3: Perceptions
Perception. Oh perception. Have you ever played the game telephone? If not, try it, at least once.
If you have, you completely understand how perception is a huge factor in communication, and it
is amplified in conflict. There are probably many situations where you thought you heard
something, only for the speaker to later correct you on what you heard. There are also many
times in which you said something that the person with whom you were conversing did not hear
what you said; the person heard what he or she wanted to hear.
While it may make the conversation longer, I cannot emphasize the importance of repeating what
the other person said. It will definitely feel forced at first. As soon as you hear something that
does not make sense, that you don’t agree with, or that might lead to a conflict, start with
repeating back what you heard. When you repeat back what you heard, you will quickly learn
that the person either did not say what they wanted to or that you heard it incorrectly. Even
though we’ve been hearing our entire lives, we have not always been listening.
To put it simply, hearing is unconscious and listening is conscious. Unless you have a hearing
impairment, you hear things all the time. You hear cars passing by, you hear chatter, you hear
background noise, you hear birds. When you listen, you are making a choice to hone in on a
specific instance of sound, like someone talking to you or music, and you are deciding what
those sounds mean to you. Culturally, as an American, it is safe to say that we are not the best
listeners, which I discuss in the Vanity article last week.
Listening takes practice. I urge you to try to really listen (meaning no multi-tasking) when
someone is talking to you, and see if you can find areas where you need the person to repeat
what he or she said for you to better understand. It could change your perception of how you
converse with others.
Cause 4: Goals
Goals are often the reason for conflict. The problem with goals is that we often do not articulate
our goals out of fear. We fear that if we show our cards, we might not get what we want. When
in conflict, it is probably true that everyone has a different goal in mind for the outcome of the
conflict. It could be to have the other person give in, a compromise, or any number of other items
(often financial). When we don’t articulate our goals, we often have conflicts without ever
understanding why we are in conflict.
Think about negotiating a contract. Say you are offered a job. You have done your Google
research (e.g., Glassdoor), and you know that the position in your location is worth $50,000. You
become disappointed to hear that HR is offering you $45,000. First, you should name your goal,
and then, try to understand what the goal of the other person is. If your goal is to make $50,000
without thinking about anything else, you might not get very far. A company’s goal (for better or
for worse) is to get the best talent for the cheapest price to maximize profit margins. Conversely,
many employees goals are to earn the highest salary for the least amount of work. See how those
goals could be in conflict?
I’m not going to go into details on how to negotiate a job contract, that has been belabored on the
Internet 30 million times.
Instead, what I will say, is that you need to be able to articulate your own goals, and you need to
be confident and able to ask about the other person’s goals to better understand why you are in
conflict in the first place. If you do this, you will get further than someone who does not look at
the bigger “goals” picture.
Cause 5: Pressure
Pressure generates a LOT of conflict. Performance pressure, financial pressure, emotional
pressure. All kinds of pressure exist in our lives. Our society is built on pressure. You must get
the best grades to get into the best school to get the best job. If you do not get to where someone
else expects you to, most commonly called “failing,” then OH NO. If you think about how much
pressure external entities place on us coupled with how much pressure we place on ourselves, it’s
amazing that we do not explode more often.
Kaboom. What is the point? The next time someone pressures you in any way, ask that person
why. Friend, why are you pressuring me to go out to a bar? Parent, why are you pressuring me to
have a child. Boss, why are you pressuring me to work more? What I am proposing that you do
is scary with a capital S. It is much easier to challenge your friend or your parent than your boss.
But, are we not trying to get to the point where we can take back control?
I am writing to you, reader, my avatar, to reframe how you think about pressure. This also
applies to internal pressure. Ask yourself, why am I putting all this pressure on myself to do X?
Pressure leads to stress and conflict. Stress and conflict can lead to dark places. Take a step back,
and think about the pressures in your life. See if you can take control of just one of them. Then
another. Eventually, hopefully, you can say that pressure is minimal.
Cause 6: Power
POWER. We romanticize power in so many ways. Everyone wants to have power. Those who
do not have any power, want power. Those who have all the power want more of it. Do you want
more power? We equate power to importance and responsibility in several clichés.
“With great power comes great responsibility.”
“Wear your power suit to that meeting.”
“Power through that last set.”
Power is everywhere, and it causes conflict all the time. Because of how we define power, we
lose ourselves in it. My question to you is this: what will more power do for you? Will you earn
more money? Will others view you as more important? How will this impact you? Why do you
care about money and importance?
Taking a step back and answering the underlying “power” questions will guide you on your
journey to self-authorship. Reframe how you think about power and see how much conflict
power creates in your lives and the lives of those around you. If you take a step back and still
want all the power, you want it for reasons that you can own instead of external reasons that
society places on you. That is the power of reframing (cliché!).
Cause 7: Values
I want to skip values. I do not want to write about reframing values because values are so
personal. World Wars are based on values (and power, of course, but values underlie all
conflict). We have political parties because of values. People hate each other, without knowing a
single thing about each other, because of values. Values are one of topics where people use
inductive reasoning all the time.
“Oh, Jim is from Iowa, he must be a redneck.”
“You are a Patriots fan? Aka a fair weather fan.”
“You live in Southern California? Definitely a hippie.”
“You voted for a Republican? Do you not care about human rights?”
I could legitimately fill 25,000 pages of quotes about how people make broad assumptions based
on values. I will not spend a lot of time here because reframing how we think about our own
values is not something many people are willing to do. My simple challenge here would be to
take a value that you hold loosely (e.g., something that is not core to you) and talk to someone,
read about, or think about that value from the opposite perspective. Do this once and see what
happens. You might be surprised.
Cause 8: Policies
Policies are like values in the sense that you do not exactly have control over them. You might
think that you have control over your values, but years and years of holding values means that it
is extremely difficult and requires a lot of deliberate practice to change your values. Policies are
even worse because we often have almost no control over them. Do you think that Schools,
Courts, and Governments routinely misinterpret the 1st Amendment to the Constitution? Well,
that is unfortunate because there is a 0.1% chance that the 1st Amendment will change.
Policies cause conflict because it is in their nature. People, with different values, create policies.
Policies only change when people change them. If you disagree with a policy, there are limited
ways to change the policy. You could 1) start a movement or 2) become a policymaker. There
are other ways to affect policies, sure, but #2 is the only way to REALLY do it. Look at
Change.org and tell me if #1 works very well. Of course, there are dozens of examples of large-
scale policy changes that occurred because of large social movements, but in general, the real
change occurs when the people who are part of those movements either elect people who align
with their values or become policy makers themselves.
When reframing how we think about policies, often ones that are not going to change and ones
that we have no control over, think about how you can interpret those policies in a way that more
closely aligns with your value structure. Policies assuredly cause conflicts. You can always take
up policies with policy makers hoping to make a change. You also can practice working within a
policy to meet your goals. We all must live within a system. Learn to navigate that system by
reframing how you think about the policies that govern the system.
Low Stakes Practice
When you are first learning how to play a sport, you do not want to start in a high-stakes game.
When you are first learning how to play an instrument, you don’t want the first time you play to
be in front of an audience. So, when it comes to reframing conflict and practice, you probably
don’t want your first try to be with your supervisor or your partner.
While it might seem artificial, the best place to practice is with people you know and trust, in
fake situations. For example, call up your best friend and invite that person out to coffee. Explain
to that person that you are interested in working on your conflict skills, and that you want to
practice. Get the person to buy in to the benefit of the practice. Then, go find examples of
conflict, and ask the person to start having an argument with you. This type of low stakes
practice will feel forced and artificial at first. But, practice is the only way to become better at
something.
Eventually, you will get to the point where you feel comfortable reframing a conflict in a higher
stakes environment. You will use what you learned, said, and how you felt, to be successful in
managing this real conflict.