CONFLICT OF VALUES

CONSERVATION OF VALUES

TYPES OF CONFLICT IN A WORKPLACE

Conflict refers to some form of disagreement or discord arising within a group when the beliefs or actions of one or
more members of the group are either resisted by or unacceptable to one or more members of another group.

People can live together in harmony with different value systems. Value conflict arise only when people attempt to
force one set of values on others or lay claim to exclusive value systems that do not allow for divergent beliefs.

All conflict is not created equal. There are different types of conflict in a workplace and many of them require some
slight amendments to your normal resolution approach. If you’re leading a team where the stakes are high and stress
seems to spur on conflict, recognizing these different types can help reduce the number of times you have to have
the same conversation and can actually lead to team growth.

1. Relationship Conflicts

Relationship conflicts occur because of the presence of strong negative emotions, misperceptions or
stereotypes, poor communication or miscommunication, or repetitive negative behaviors. Relationship
problems often fuel disputes and lead to an unnecessary escalating spiral of destructive conflict. Supporting
the safe and balanced expression of perspectives and emotions for acknowledgment (not agreement) is one
effective approach to managing relational conflict.

2. Data Conflicts

Data conflicts occur when people lack information necessary to make wise decisions, are misinformed,
disagree on which data is relevant, interpret information differently, or have competing assessment
procedures. Some data conflicts may be unnecessary since they are caused by poor communication
between the people in conflict. Other data conflicts may be genuine incompatibilities associated with data
collection, interpretation or communication. Most data conflicts will have "data solutions."
 3. Interest Conflicts

Interest conflicts are caused by competition over perceived incompatible needs. Conflicts of interest result
when one or more of the parties believe that in order to satisfy his or her needs, the needs and interests of
an opponent must be sacrificed. Interest-based conflict will commonly be expressed in positional terms. A
variety of interests and intentions underlie and motivate positions in negotiation and must be addressed for
maximized resolution. Interest-based conflicts may occur over substantive issues (such as money,
physical resources, time, etc.); procedural issues (the way the dispute is to be resolved); and
psychological issues (perceptions of trust, fairness, desire for participation, respect, etc.). For an interest-
based dispute to be resolved, parties must be assisted to define and express their individual interests so that
all of these interests may be jointly addressed. Interest-based conflict is best resolved through the
maximizing integration of the parties' respective interests, positive intentions and desired experiential
outcomes.

4. Structural Conflicts

Structural conflicts are caused by forces external to the people in dispute. Limited physical resources or
authority, geographic constraints (distance or proximity), time (too little or too much), organizational
changes, and so forth can make structural conflict seem like a crisis. It can be helpful to assist parties in
conflict to appreciate the external forces and constraints bearing upon them. Structural conflicts will often
have structural solutions. Parties' appreciation that a conflict has an external source can have the effect of
them coming to jointly address the imposed difficulties.

5. Value Conflicts

Value conflicts are caused by perceived or actual incompatible belief systems. Values are beliefs that
people use to give meaning to their lives. Values explain what is "good" or "bad,"
"right" or "wrong," "just" or "unjust." Differing values need not cause conflict. People can live together in
harmony with different value systems. Value disputes arise only when people attempt to force one set of
values on others or lay claim to exclusive value systems that do not allow for divergent beliefs. It is of no
use to try to change value and belief systems during relatively short and strategic mediation interventions. It
can, however, be helpful to support each participant's expression of their values and beliefs for
acknowledgment by the other party.

CONSERVATION OF VALUES

1. Ignore it. Sometimes a conflict is so small, it’s almost irrelevant. Any attempt to address it is like making
a mountain out of a molehill. In such cases, the best solution is to just ignore it. For example, a shipment
arrives 20 minutes later than you promised, but no one seems concerned or makes any fuss about it. Just
ignore it.

2. Address it. Oft time’s conflicts can be resolved by simply addressing them directly. In an organization, a
values conflict might arise if decisions are made or actions taken that result in compromising a stated value.
Having a meaningful and respectful discussion with others impacted may be the simplest way to resolve it.
For example: sincerely apologizing for missing a promised delivery date, explaining the steps taken to fix
the situation, and the plan to prevent it from happening again.

3. Negotiate around it. Sometimes a conflict is more complicated than we initially thought or involves
more parties than originally considered. Ideally this is a healthy conflict where you’re just following the
process to find the best solution to resolve a gnarly problem, even if the discussion with others is heated at
times. What matters most is to stay focused on the problem, not the people involved. For example, the
inclusion of a new product feature requested by customers
 requires sacrificing the long-standing values of simplicity and ease-of-use, which have differentiated the
company for years. Should this particular customer request be ignored? Or is it time for the company to
shift the priority of differentiating values? There are no easy answers here. It requires the involvement of
all stakeholders. But working together, creative solutions can be uncovered that open up new possibilities.

4. Mediate through it. There are times a conflict turns out to be quite serious and requires more drastic
action. Sometimes there are significant financial implications. Other times it may be bruised egos getting in
the way (including our own). Resolving such conflict requires a strong mediator: to listen well, ask
thoughtful questions, be able to influence others to compromise, and find the best solution that works for
everyone. For example, poor quality output, missed deadlines, low morale, and unhappy customers are a
clear indication there are bigger issues at stake. Someone external clearly needs to be brought in to identify
the real issues and push for real change.

5. Deny it. The fear of conflict causes many people to avoid dealing with it – ever. Instead they hope if they
continue denying it, it will eventually just go away. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to make things
worse, allowing it to become a bigger problem than it was originally.

6. Fight it. The other side of fear of conflict is the idea if you attack it you can kill it. But conflict can’t be
simply stamped out (that’s called bullying). Even when we think a conflict is dead, issues remain, waiting
to be addressed.
A values conflict occurs when we’ve got two things that are important to us, and they are conflicting with
each other and potentially reducing the amount of fulfilment in one or both of those areas.
Here are some examples.

I want you to imagine this scenario just for a second. Imagine that you would like to start up a highly successful
coaching business. As soon as you think that thought, there's another thought that pops up in your head. And that is,
"I'd like to be able to spend more time with my family."

So, we've got these two conflicting ideas now. You want to start up a successful business, but you also want to
spend more time with your family.

Somewhere inside your mind, there is a limiting belief. That belief is

simply this, "If I start up a coaching business, that equals less
time with my family."
Another classic example that we hear all of the time is, "I really want
to become a coach, but I don't want to give up the security of the
income that I'm earning in my current career."
So, "I want to be a coach, but I don't want to lose the financial
security of the day job. Even though I don't like my day job at all,
I don't want to give up that security." Again, another classic value
conflict.

A values conflict is nothing other than two parts of your brain that
aren't talking to each other. In fact, they're wrestling with each
other. One part is saying, "I want this," while the other part is saying, "I want this," and they're both saying,
"Look, if I have this, you can't have that."

To resolve a value conflict, you need to get both parts of the mind and put them together, so they become one
congruent concept. Once both parts of the mind become holistic again, the conflict resolves itself. We're then able to
take the necessary action to get what we want most in our life.
Having done 12 and a half years of coaching and well over 10,000 hours of one-on-one coaching sessions, I have
seen my fair share of values conflicts.
Over the years, I took some time out to really just workshop and roadmap the exact way of getting through a values
conflict. What I came up with was a very simple equation.
Values Conflict Formula – Using the Minus In The Equation

Now, without wanting to overly confuse the concept, we’re going to use the minus in the values conflict formula.

Let's just say that you have debt. Let's just say that you want to travel to El Nido. So, you've got an idea that you'd
like to travel to El Nido. Therefore, your new value (A) is traveling to El Nido and your current value, B, is debt.
Chances are, you want less debt, so we're going to use the minus in the formula.
When someone thinks of going to El Nido they say to themselves, “I really want to go to El Nido, but I also want to
reduce my debt. So, I can't go to El Nido because I want to reduce my debt."

We use the formula to help us get to El Nido and reduce our debt at the same time. I mean, who would like to be
able to travel to tropical locations while reducing your debt? So, the question then becomes, "How will going
to El Nido help me reduce my debt? How will going to El Nido help me reduce my debt?"

Here are some reasons why you might reduce your debt by
going to El Nido.

The first one is while you're in El Nido, you're going to be

more relaxed, which means you're going to be more creative.
Therefore, you'll have more creative juices flowing on ways
in which to reduce your debt.
When you go to El Nido, you’ll take some time out to allow
yourself to really get some space away from what you're
doing and potentially brainstorm new ideas, new business
ventures, new ways of actually making things happen and
making more money.

While you're in El Nido, you could run a small coaching

group. You could take a group of people from Manila to El Nido to do some coaching with them. You could then
can actually earn money while you're there. So you’re actually getting paid while doing something you love.
In El Nido, rent and food are a lot cheaper. You get to swim in the ocean, you're way more occupied, and you'll be
spending less of your money on consumer items. While you're in El Nido, you'll actually be saving money, which
will help you reduce your debt.

In Conclusion

So, either way, whether it's a positive like you want more time with your family or you want more financial
security, or if it's a negative like you want to reduce your debt, the values linking formula will help you through the
process so you can start turning your dreams into reality.