Dearest creature in creation,
Please study your English pronunciation.
I will teach it to you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you busy Suzy.
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in the eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard and heard,
Dies and diet, Lord and word,
Retain and Britain, mind the latter
On how it’s written
Please be careful on how you speak.
Say streak and steak; script and receipt
Hear me say, daughter and laughter.
Aisles and exiles; similes and smiles
Scholar and vicar; war and far
Bouquet and wallet; mallet and chalet.
Blood and flood; mould and would
Load and broad; toward and reward
And is your pronunciation okey
When you correctly say croquet?
Rounded and wounded; tomb, bomb and comb
River and rival; doll and roll
Stranger does not rhyme with anger
Neither does soul and foul; shoes and goes
Now first say finger and then say
Singer and linger; swinger and ginger
Does fury sound like bury?
Lost and post; knob and the book of Job
Though the difference seem little,
We say actual but not victual,
Mint and pint; bull and dull
scenic and Arabic; Science and conscience;
But I wondered why Rachel had an ache?
We say hallowed and allowed.
People and leopard; towed and vowed.
Mark the differences moreover,
Between cover, mover and clover.
Police and lice; unstable and constable
Worm and storm; tour and four
Sea and area; gas and Arkansas
Youth, south, southern, cleanser and clean
We say ever and fever; crevice and device
Seven is right, but so is even
Hyphen, roughen and my nephew Stephen.
Islington and the Isle of Wight,
Verdict and Indict.
Finally, which rhymes with the word enough?
Though, dough or cough?
Hiccup has the sound of cup
But my advice is for you to give up!
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