Peer assessment – Enhancing acrostic poems

Name:

Instructions: For each group poem, I would like to see you enhance the poem in the green box so we can
compare. Think about the cruel reality of war, what did the soldiers see, hear, think, feel?
1) Can you add any onomatopoeic words?
2) Can you add a simile or metaphor?
3) Can you add any alliteration?

Group 1 – Remember first draft

Refugees migrating from one country to another

Explosions attacking everywhere

Maimed is everywhere in war

Everyone should remember the scream and wails in the war

Major missions is to kill every enemy

Basement is the best place to hide

Escape the deadly battlefield is not possible for fighting soldiers in the front line

Revenge on the enemy is the dream of every soldier who wanted to protect their country

Your draft, please add changes/enhancements to the poem below:

Refugees migrating from one country to another immediately

Bang! Explosions attacking everywhere

Maimed is everywhere in war

Everyone should remember the horrible scream and wails in the war

Major mission is to kill every enemy

Basement are the best place to hide

Escape the deadly battlefield is not possible for fighting soldiers in the front line

Revenge on the enemy head is the dream of every soldier who wanted to protect their country

1
Group 2 – Solider first draft

Storms make trees take deeper roots.

Override the corpse is the fallen Golden leaf from the tree.
Leaves are mixed with blood and soil, light reflecting the young faces of the bodies like growing out
of the ground.
During the silence, the sky clouded, that is increasingly cloudy eyes not a young man should have
It was the lament of thousands of people.
End up with the broken body and no longer beating heart.
Run ！Run ！Run all the way home! The kid who left home. Rain washed their bodies, but not quenched
their blazing spirit, their ever-growing spirit escaped fear. What did they leave to the world? Not the
bloody wounds, the lungs that can't breathe, but the spirit that never dies.

Your draft, please add changes/enhancements to the poem below:

Storms make trees take deeper roots.

Override the corpse is the fallen Golden leaf from the tree.
Leaves are mixed with blood and soil, light reflecting the young faces of the bodies like growing out
of the ground.
During the silence, the sky clouded, that is increasingly cloudy eyes not a young man should have
It was the lament of thousands of people.
End up with the broken body and no longer beating heart.
Run！Run！Run all the way home! The kid who left home. Rain washed their bodies, but not quenched
their blazing spirit, their ever-growing spirit escaped fear. What did they leave to the world? Not the
bloody wounds, the lungs that can't breathe, but the spirit that never dies.

2
Group 3 - Hero first draft:

H - Heroic peoples has been born from these horrible years of war.

E - Every was brave on the battlefields

R- Ruthless and lives and traded peace for the world

O - Over this historic event wish there will be no more when the new offspring has come.

Your draft, please add changes/enhancements to the poem below:

H - Heroic peoples has been born from these horrible years of war.

E - Every was brave on the battlefields

R- Ruthless and lives and traded peace for the world

O - Over this historic event wish there will be no more when the new offspring has come.

3
Group 4 - Thank you first draft:

Thanks for the brave soldiers protecting our homeland.

Holding their weapons and rushing to the enemy.

Although the battlefield was full of unknown dangers, they never flinch from it.

North wind is cold.

Kindness by enemies has been blow.

Young children forced to be labor for war.

Over the war is wish too far.

Unknown is their future.

Your draft, please add changes/enhancements to the poem below:

Thanks for the brave soldiers protecting our homeland.

Holding their weapons and rushing to the enemy.

Although the battlefield was full of unknown dangers, they never flinch from it.

North wind is cold.

Kindness by enemies has been blow.

Young children forced to be labor for war.

Over the war is wish too far.

Unknown is their future.