UNTAMED

The Chastening
CHAPTER 1
NOKWANDA

Thule told me I’m a bad mother, that’s

how I knew I have fucked up. Thule is my
on and off mother, in-and-out of rehab,
and for her to straight up tell me that I’m a
bad mother had me in my feelings. But I
guess real recognizes real, fake recognizes
fake, and bad mother recognizes bad
mother.
It’s been over 48 hours since I drove out of
my father’s estate house, heading to my
maternal grandmother’s house in the north
of Durban. Yes, running away from my
mess. I couldn’t face Sphakamiso, I fell in
love with him, he overlooked so many
mistakes from my end and gave us a
chance. I still don’t know what Zothani’s
fate is. Is he Wise’s son or Sphakamiso’s?
Well, I have a few minutes to find out.
I know what my fate is, at least part of it.
Nkatha is going to do more than cutting my
allowance and putting me in a Yaris, this
time things went too far. I embarrassed him
after convincing him that I’ve changed for
so long. I leave the car on the driveway, I
could drive out again after being kicked
out.
I was hoping I’d walk in into someone else,
maybe our helper, at least I’d have time to
gather my nerves and rememorize what I’m
going to say. But I walk in on him sitting on
the kitchen chair, drinking NOTHING.
That alone tells me he’s going through it.
“Morning baba,” I stand two feet away, to
be safe.
He looks at me, my father is dark but this
morning he’s a breathing nightmare.
“Hi,” he says, actually greeting me back.
I’m shocked and even more scared.
I want to ask where Zothani is, but how
would I even start? I’m not hearing any
sound, Salo obviously didn’t sleep here. If
Zothani was here I know she would’ve
came over to help.
“Can I help you?” he asks, fetching my
roaming eyes.
I look back at him. “Is Zothani here?”
“Who did you hire to keep an eye on him
for you?” He’s evidently not in the mood
for my nonsense.
“No one,” I take a deep breath and make
my way to my room. I don’t think I will
find Zothani there but asking Nkatha
seems fruitless. It’s been two days since I
last saw him, I’m really not a good mother.
His cot is packed, I can’t find any of his
clothes and documents.
Who took my son?

I run back to the kitchen, he now has a

drink in his hand. I hope it’s non-alcoholic
because he’s still going to work with sick
people.
“He’s not in my room?” I’m panicking.
“He’s with his father,” he says, calmly.
This should be relieving but it’s not.
Because who is his father?
“Who is his father?” I’m ashamed to ask
this. There are rebellious, disappointing,
shameless children, and then there’s me.
The deep breath he takes tears my heart
into pieces. I can see the disappointment,
but the brokenness in his eyes pierces
through me.
“A baby’s paternity should be known by his
mother,” he says.
“I know.” I guess I’m a different kind of
mom, a new bad kind.
He rests his elbow down, “Care to
explain?”
“Wise and I slept together, I didn’t know
that until the day of the results when he
texted me. I was drunk, I don’t remember
anything. So when he said Zothani could
be his as well I panicked,” I say.
He gathers his brows, angered. “What do
you mean you couldn’t remember? How
much of a drunk are you?”
“I still don’t remember, he didn’t tell me
until two days ago. I’ve always seen him as
my best friend, he’s never made any sexual
advances to me while we are sober, so I
don’t know how it happened.”
“Are you trying to tell me that Nhlakanipho
raped you?” He always translates his name
to Zulu; he’s very fond of Wise.
“I don’t know what he did,” I don’t want to
dwell on that. It happened almost 10
months ago. I don’t want to be a victim of
anything.
Why is he standing up? I still need to know
who Zothani’s father is.
I follow him, “Nkatha?”
He turns, looking deadly. “Who?”
“Baba,” I swallow back my word.
Jeez, he’s never had a problem with me
calling him by his name.
“Where is Zothani?” I ask once again.
“Sphakamiso took him, he was the only
parent available. I need Nhlakanipho to tell
me what happened,” he’s angrily walking to
his bedroom.
Really, Wise is not that important right
now. Getting Zothani is my priority.
I get inside his bedroom with him. “Did
the DNA results confirm that he’s
Zothani’s father?”
“Yes,” he says.
Fuck! I actually ran away for nothing. I
missed two days of my son’s life for
absolute bullshit.
“Was he angry?” I want to know where I
stand with Sphakamiso.
“Hey, weNokwanda angisontanga wakho
mina! You left me with your mess, now I
must narrate to you how your ex-boyfriend
looked and felt. Do you think he was going
to be happy?”
Ex-boyfriend?
“So he broke up with me?” Oh God, I’m
finished. He broke up with me in my
absence and told my father.
“Can we deal with Wise’s matter later? I
need to see my son,” I beg.
“Your so-called best friend could’ve rapes
you and you think that’s nothing?” He’s
livid. I get it, rape and GBV gets to him,
he’s actively against such.
“I just want to see my son, I don’t care
about Wise,” I can feel tears burning my
eyes. I don’t want to deal with scandals, I’ve
already gone through a lot with the DNA
tests.
“He violated you,” he desperately tries to
convince me. But no, whether he did or
not, I don’t want to dwell on it.
“I want to move on and make up to
Zothani and Sphakamiso for the lost time.”
It’s hard for him to accept it. He wants to
deal with Wise today.
“Can you just take me to the Mcinekas?
I’m scared to go there alone. I promise this
is the last time I’m troubling you.”
He shuts his eyes firmly, his jaw twitches.
It’s too much, I’m a burden to him.
“Get dressed,” he says.
I look at the short I’m wearing, it’s not torn
or washed-out, I have a nice top on. What
does he mean I must get dressed?
I go to my room without asking that out
loud because I’m at his mercy. I change
into a knee-length bodycon dress and
ankle-strap heels.
My hair looks okay, I’ve been having a
stress-free life with my short hair. It’s easier
and less expensive to maintain, and
Sphakamiso liked it.
When Nkatha walks in he looks at me and
frowns. Like this is not the “ready” he was
expecting?
“You’re fetching a baby in heels?” he asks.
“Yeah, I will manage.” I tell him but he still
looks unconvinced, like I’m crazy.
“Let’s go then,” he waits for me to walk out
of the door and then closes it.
I don’t know what awaits me on the other
side. But I know what to expect from Sis’
Nombuso, I’m sure she’s waiting for this
moment to come. Now she has a good
reason not to like me.
CHAPTER 2
NOKWANDA

It’s just after 11pm when we arrive at the

Mcinekas. Nkatha has never been here,
he’s been complaining about the road ever
since we joined the village’s gravel. It’s in
the real rurals, you get blocked by cows on
the road, not traffic cops.
I was hoping not to find his brother home.
His brother is kind, sweet and
understanding. He’s one person who was
keen on giving me a chance and now I feel
like I let him down too. Two cars are
parked in the yard. Sphakamiso must be
home too, his Tazz is there. I’m scared, I
don’t want to lie. I’m scared of seeing the
disappointment and hurt in his eyes.
But we are here, there’s no turning back
now. Nkatha can be hard-headed, I hope
we can reach common grounds without
him threatening anyone.
As we enter there’s a guy on the yard. I
don’t recognize him until we are close. It’s
their lost and found young brother. The
bigger the family becomes, the more
intimidating it is for me, I grew up in a
small family. I have no regrets or
whatsoever when it comes to Sphakamiso. I
just wish he could’ve come with a different
family.
Mkhuleko avoids close encounter and
disappears before we can greet him. I’m
getting more nervous, I don’t know what
situation I’m going to find inside.
Nombuso is like a cobra that always has its
head up, aimed at striking. As soon as my
face shows at the door she cracks a high-
pitched laughter. There’s a little baby in
her arms, she’s sitting on the couch with a
bowl on her lap.
She’s sitting next with Miyanda and her
baby. Opposite them is Malibongwe. Does
he ever move his eyes away from Miyanda?
Even for a second.
Oh well, he does.
He’s looking at us now.
“Sanibonani kwaMcineka!” Nkatha greets.
Obviously Nombuso is not going to greet
us back until she’s done staring at his face.
Malibongwe quickly moves from the couch
he was sitting on. It’s a one-seater, he gives
it to Nkatha. Guess what? I have to sit next
to Nombuso. My eyes land on the baby
who’s wrapped in a brown towel that looks
like it has survived tsunamis and heavy
thunderstorms.
“Is that my son?” I’m shocked because the
baby just had a spoon of maize porridge
shoved in his mouth.
Instead of answering me, she lifts the baby
up and starts singing a lullaby to him;
“Ntandane ya- auntiza!
Yatshingwa umama wayo ndze!”
Zothani is not even two months old, how
can she feed him porridge?
“This needs Sphakamiso,” says
Malibongwe. He looks at Nkatha. “Give
me a minute,” he says and walks out.
Miyanda gets up saying she’s going to get us
something to drink. She’s always kind, I
wonder how come she gets along so well
with Nombuso.
“I’m Nokwanda’s father,” Nkatha
introduces himself to Nombuso.
“I didn’t think she has a parent,” she says. I
don’t know what she’s trying to say by this.
“Well, I’m here. Are you feeding Zothani
solids already?” he asks.
“Yes, he loves it.” She shoves another
spoon in Zothani’s mouth. My poor baby.
Why is he swallowing?
“No sisi, don’t do that.” Nkatha gets up.
He’s trying to get Zothani. He’s just as
appalled because, what the fuck?
“Heeey we bhuti wabantu, Zothani is ours,
right? Your daughter abandoned her. He’s
a Mcineka, he’s not going to die because of
porridge. His father was eating porridge at
3 weeks old, look how tall he is now.”
Sphakamiso just walked in followed by
Malibongwe. I can see that Nkatha is angry.
Nombuso puts Zothani on her chest and
rubs his back.
“Sawubona Manzini,” Sphakamiso greets
only Nkatha. He doesn’t even look at my
direction.
“Sphakamiso, we should talk,” he says,
getting off the couch.
Sphakamiso gets up too.
But Malibongwe stops him. “We all want
to hear our makoti’s side of the story.”
“Our makoti?” Nombuso is shocked, so
am I.
Malibongwe dismisses her with a look.
“It’s personal,” Nkatha says.
I hope he doesn’t want to tell Sphakamiso
about Wise. I just want to get my son back.
“Please baba, let me just apologize to him.
I shouldn’t have ran away. I know I hurt
you, Sphakamiso. I also don’t think I will
forgive myself for doing that to Zothani. Is
there a way to move forward?”
He looks at me like he’s confused. Yes, I
trust Sphakamiso, but I’d rather not share
this with him, or anyone other than my
own father.
“So simple, right? You’re just going to
break my heart, lie to me and abandon our
son, then come back asking how we can
move forward.” He’s shaking his head, now
looking at me. I can see the anger and
disappointment.
“What were you running away from?”
I look at Nkatha, I don’t think he’s going to
back me up.
“I was scared,” I say.
Nombuso beats him into asking. “Scared of
what? Were you not sure that he’s the
father?”
I keep quiet. Can she let me hold my son?
I only left him for 2 days, there are mothers
who never return to their children.
“What do you want now?” Sphakamiso
asks.
“I want Zothani,” I say.
“And your studies? How are you going to
balance taking care of him and attending
classes in Durban?”
“I need a nanny,” I tell him.
Malibongwe frowns. Sphakamiso’s eyes
widen. Nombuso gasps. Have they never
had nannies in this family?
“I can’t afford paying a nanny, Nokwanda.
Nombuso has been helping with Zothani.
But if you want to take him I can’t stop
you, it’s against the law. I just want you to
know that at the moment I cannot pay for a
nanny.”
My problems don’t add, they multiply.
Nkatha clears his throat, “Zothani may be
your son but you haven’t paid anything to
the Zungus to claim him.”
“I know Manzini,” he says.
“Good. So I should expect you to show up
soon with payment for the damages?”
Sphakamiso looks at his brother, but he
raises his eyebrow like “don’t get me
involved in your shit”.
So Nombuso comes to his rescue. “I
understand what culture says but in this
case it should be Nokwanda paying for the
damages to us for how much she’s
damaged him emotionally.”
“That’s absurd!” Nkatha gathers his brows,
looking at her. He still hasn’t figured that
she’s not normal.
“Your daughter knew that Sphakamiso just
started working at the shop and he has
another child,” she says.
“He also knew that before getting involved
with her, so that’s a non-factor.”
“Whose fault was it that she fell pregnant?”
“Did she make the baby alone?”
“Didn’t Sphakamiso give her money to buy
morning-after pills that she decided to buy
a week later?”
I didn’t sign up for this. Nkatha shouldn’t
be arguing with mental unstable women.
“Sphakamiso will pay izimfanelo zakho
Manzini,” Malibongwe says, the noise dies
down instantly.
Sphakamiso is looking at him trying to
figure out how he thinks he’s going to pay
for the damages as soon as Nkatha wants.
I didn’t expect him to come here and start
demanding damages payment.
Miyanda walks in with a tray of cold drinks.
She took long on purpose, I think she was
avoiding this drama that just took place.
As they discuss furtherly with Nombuso
disturbing them here and there,
Sphakamiso and I finally get a chance to be
with him. He takes me to his room,
Nombuso finally allowed me to have
Zothani. My son even weighs heavier than
two days ago because of maize porridge.
CHAPTER 3
SPHAKAMISO

Nobody expects me to forgive her. I also

don’t expect myself to forgive her. But I’d
be lying if I said I’m not glad she came. I
can’t do it alone for the second time. I can’t
have another motherless son.
The mood is tense, she sits on my bed with
Zothani in her arms. It’s hard to get over
what she made me go through, the
embarrassment!
“You promised me Nokwanda,” I’m hurt,
my voice can’t even conceal it.
She keeps her gaze down on Zothani.
“Was anything you said to me even real?”
She broke the trust. I was at a point where I
trusted her enough, even with Wise, her so-
called friend.
“I didn’t lie about how I feel,” she says.
“Then how do you hurt someone you
claim to love? The past two days have been
the hardest days of my life this year.”
“I’m sorry Sphakamiso,” she says.
Apologizing is all she’s interested in doing,
not explaining.
“How many of us were there?” I can’t
believe she’s turned me into this insecure
little boy.
“I promise you, when I committed myself
to you there was no one else,” she says.
“I don’t trust you,” I say and see the pain
inflicted in her eyes. Unfortunately it’s true,
I don’t trust her anymore.
“Are you going to take Zothani?” I don’t
want her to take my son away. I raised
Aphelele myself for a few years, I guess I’d
be comfortable with Zothani growing in
front of me too.
“Your sister doesn’t like me,” she says.
“Nombuso doesn’t like me either. But
she’s willing to help us out. At least with
her looking after Zothani I can be able to
raise money for the damages that your
father wants so bad. I doubt Malibongwe
will help me with anything this time
around.”
She takes a deep breath and stares down at
Zothani. I know it’s a hard decision to
make but this is going to make things easier
for both of us.
“But I have to spend some time with him
and talk with Nkatha. Give me at least two
days, I missed him so much.” She’s looking
at Zothani with so much affection. I didn’t
think she’d be a caring mom.
“Okay, I will ask Nombuso to get his things
ready,” I say and head to the door.
“Sphakamiso,” she stops me.
I look back, she’s holding Zothani’s hand.
“Where do we stand?” she asks.
“I don’t know Nokwanda.” I feel like the
external noise will be too loud this time
around. People are already in our business,
looking at me like I’m a fool being played.
“Please give me another chance,” she begs,
fluttering her long eye lashes. She’s on
heels, she’s a new mom extra-ordinare.
Nombuso must’ve missed this, she
would’ve criticized it.
I like Nokwanda, I genuinely do. I just
don’t think she has her shit together and
she’s ready for a solid relationship.
“We will talk, for now let’s focus on
arranging how Zothani’s life is going to be.”
She’s not satisfied with that response but
she nods. I flash a smile at her and walk
out.

Nombuso is standing outside the main

house door with Mkhuleko.
“Why are you coming out of the room
smiling?” she asks.
“I didn’t know I need permission to smile
now.” Jeez, can she rest for once? Even
Jesus rested on the seventh day.
“Sphakamiso don’t let this girl play you
again. I will eventually get tired of fighting
your battles,” she says.
I don’t remember asking her to fight my
battles.
“She wants to have Zothani for a few days
before going back to Durban,” I say.
“And how long does she want to have
you?” she asks.
“Why are you being dramatic? Can you
please pack some of Zothani’s necessities?”
“You’re teaching this girl that she can do as
she pleases and gets things done her way
every damn time.” She angrily gets inside
the house.
And this fool, why is he smiling?
“Where is Nosipho?” I ask.
The smile disappears. I leave him outside
and get inside to inform Malibongwe about
the new developments.
-
-
-
The Zungus leave, Nombuso is still ranting.
Nokwanda and I are going to have a
conversation. I don’t know how we are
going to rebuild trust but I can’t break up
with someone that I really like over
something happened over 10 months ago.
She said sorry, what else must she say?
“Your sister is hurt,” Miyanda says, coming
in the kitchen. I’m drinking a cup of tea,
warming myself for bed.
“Nombuso?” I ask.
“Yes, you know she’s been feeling like a
mother all over again taking care of
Zothani,” she says.
Well, this is a tough one.
“But I’m not saying you should feel bad
about it.” She’s probably saying this
because of my long face. “How are you and
Nokwanda though?” she asks.
“We haven’t really talked in depths about
what the future is for us.” I can be honest
with Miyanda without worrying about her
using the same things to fight with me in
future.
She stretches a grin, “But there’s hope,
right?”
I hope Nombuso is not close by listening.
“Yes, I do like her still,” I say.
“Then don’t be ashamed to give what the
heart wants, as long as there’s fun and
happiness. She doesn’t need to be perfect.
I liked how she looked today in her dress
covering the knees and short hair.”
Why the fuck am I blushing? Was it me
wearing a dress covering the knees?
Miyanda laughs at me, shaking her head,
she leaves with a bottle of warm water and
Mnqobi’s cereal box.
Whatsapp notifications roll in. I check and
it’s Nokwanda sending pictures of Zothani.
My boy is now ready for bed. I’m smiling
alone like a fool. Look, I have never co-
parented with anyone in my life. This “look
at our son” thing is new to me.
*Send yours too,*- I send the message.
I have betrayed the whole Mcineka clan,
extending to the Mhlongos. But is it their
hearts she’s going to break?
She sends a couple of pictures, I need to
get a room because…wow.
CHAPTER 4
NOKWANDA

I’m trying to get used to calling him ‘baba’

instead of straight out calling his name
because Khaya has been trying to say it too.
Now Salo says I will be a bad influence to
her kids, I have to practice being a normal
child of African soil. Anyway, baba hasn’t
really bonded with his grandson. Not even
once. What he’s done so far is buying
Zothani’s necessities, good qualities. I’m
grateful for that, don’t get me wrong. But I
just wonder what kind of relationship he
wants to have with Zothani. Is he going to
be a good grandfather who’s available both
emotionally and financially?

Just as I’m thinking about him, he walks in

with a pack of Pampers. Showing up
financially again!
“Thank you,” I say.
“I arranged an appointment for him with
the doctor tomorrow. We can’t be sure
what else that aunt of his has fed him,” he
says making his way out.
“No goodnight kiss for your grandson?”
He chuckles, “He’s already asleep, I don’t
want to wake him up.”
“That’s an excuse,” I say.
“Tomorrow, 9:30am, wake up early.” He
walks out and gently closes the door.
I will talk to Salo, I don’t want to judge him
not knowing what’s going on in his head.

I get in bed, once I’m comfortable I dial

Sphakamiso’s number. He’s still on the
fence about us, he just says we’ll talk. But
him asking for my pictures yesterday gave
me a green light. He still likes me.
“Hey,” he sounds sleepy.
“Wake up, Zothani wants to talk to you.”
He chuckles, “Is it now?”
“Yeah,” I say.
“Okay, I’m up.” He’s taking a loud sigh.
I’m sure he’s tired from work,
unfortunately I need to hear his voice
before I sleep.
“He can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” I say.
“I also can’t wait to see him, even though I
will only see him later when I come back
from work,” he says.
“And when are you going to see me?”
Whenever I have a chance, I talk my talk.
“Nokwanda, we spoke about that nje,” he
says in a soft tone.
“No, you keep saying we will talk, but you
don’t tell me when. Or you’ve found
another girl, you’ve moved on?”
“Come on!” he laughs.
*Must I drop Zothani off to your sister and
then come by you at the shop?” I’m
desperately pushing over the limits.
“Alright, see you tomorrow,” he finally
agrees.
-
Baba slept at Salo’s, I understand she
needs him more than I do. He didn’t come
by in the morning either, I guess from there
he went straight to work.
Thule calls as I leave the doctor with
Zothani, I’m going home to pack for him
and driving to the Mcinekas.
Now Thule and I don’t get along because
after 21 years I created boundaries between
us. I’m surprised to get her call.
“Hey baby,” she sounds ecstatic.
“Hi Thule, how are you?”
“I’m good, my love. I have good and bad
news. Which one do you want to hear
first?”
“I’m driving,” I say.
“I got a job,” she says.
“Oh wow, congratulations! That’s really
good news,” I say.
“No, that was actually the bad news.”
Huh? Now I’m confused.
“Then what is the good news?” I ask.
“The good news is that I didn’t take the
job, I received a marriage proposal from
my boyfriend,” she says.
“You have a boyfriend?” I’m just numb at
this point.
“Yeah, we’ve been seeing each other for
quite a while,” she says.
“How long is “quite a while”?” I ask.
“Two months. I’m going to introduce you
to him as my niece,” she says.
“But I’m not your niece, I’m your
daughter.” What the fuck! This is the
actual bad news.
“He doesn’t like women with kids, he’s a
traditional man, he thinks they’re used
goods. So I said you’re my late sister’s
daughter that I raised,” she says.
“You don’t have a late sister.” I don’t even
have the energy to be angry at her.
“It’s a story I’m making up. I won’t let my
past stop me from living my dream,” she
says.
So I’m her past now?
“Okay, let me know when, I have to go.”
“Alright, love you baby.” She drops the
call.
I’m not even going to tell her babydaddy
about this. I will go with whatever lie she
tells her future-husband, all I know is that
the truth always finds its way to come out.
-
-
-

I didn’t think about Zothani’s aunt until

now that I’ve pulled up. She gives me
anxiety, today is going to be worse because
Sphakamiso and Malibongwe are not here.
I have to face her alone, one on one.
“Why did you choose this family?” I ask
Zothani taking him out of the car. I only
take a bag, I can’t take everything out at
once while holding him too.
I make my way to the main house, the TV
is playing inside.
“Hello?” I’m walking in, passing the
kitchen.
She appears with a towel wrapped around
her waist. It’s the same towel that wraps
Zothani on her back. She’s a big woman
with a very light skin and dry-looking afro
hair. She doesn’t look kind at all, that’s just
something about her.
“Sawubona,” I greet.
“Hi,” she’s looking at me with her eyebrow
slightly raised. I reposition Zothani on my
arm because I don’t know what I’m doing
wrong.
“Women aren’t allowed to wear pants
kwaMcineka,” she says.
Shit! Sphakamiso did tell me this, I forgot.
“I came from the doctor, I didn’t have time
to change,” I say.
“Don’t worry, go and sit on the couch.”
She heads to one of the rooms. I go and
wait on the couch, I wish Miyanda was
here. I don’t know where she is, her
rondavel’s door was shut when I walked
past it.
Nombuso comes with a green apron. She
takes Zothani and his bag from me.
“Put this on top,” she instructs.
“Iphinifa labogogo?!” I’m looking at it, it’s
not for me. It’s the old-fashioned type of
apron, too long and big for me.
“This was my mother’s apron,” she says
like it’s some sort of precious piece of art
that should be appreciated by everyone.
“It’s an honor that I’m giving it to you after
you broke my brother’s heart,” she says.
Take a deep breath Nokwanda, it’s just a
lousy apron that you’re going to take off. I
put it over, damn I look like a sick magogo.
She looks at me with a big smile on her
face. And for the record, this is the first
time she’s ever smiled at me.
“You have a potential of looking
respectable,” she says, looking evidently
impressed by my ugly looks.
“I’m going to fetch the rest of his staff,” I
walk out and go to the car. Thule is short,
luckily I didn’t take after her otherwise this
apron would’ve tripped me.
When I walk back inside she’s wrapped
Zothani on her back with the same towel.
His bottle is empty, it looks like she’s in the
process of making his milk.
“We have to set some ground rules,” she
tells me.
I’m confused.
“What rules?”
“You have to come after every two weeks
and spend time with him on weekends, do
his laundry and…”
“Wait, you don’t have a washing machine?”
I just made her dislike me again.
“Don’t you have hands?” she asks.
“I love keeping my nails long.” I’m being
truthful. At home I’ve never done laundry,
there’s a helper. In my flat I have a washing
machine, baba knows that I don’t like
inconvenience.
“Then you should’ve kept your legs
closed,” she says.
It seems like I signed up for slavery when I
chose to like Sphakamiso. But I will make
a plan, I won’t be sacrificing my beautiful
nails to do laundry.
“Sphakamiso has been hurt before.” Here
we go! She’s now staring at me with her big,
evil eyes.
“You’re the first girl he’s liked after that
relationship. I understand that you’re still
young, maybe you want to explore the
world first, but not on my brother’s
expense. Stop lying to him. Stop loving him
only when it suits you.”
I have brothers now, two of them. I love
them to death but I will never, I mean ever,
involve myself in their love business like
this.
“Sphakamiso needs a faithful girlfriend
that’s capable of giving him unconditional
love.”
“I’m trying to be what he wants,” I say.
“Nokwanda, you can’t be a dick-hopper on
the streets and a faithful girlfriend
kwaMcineka at the same time. Choose
what you want to be, make sense when you
speak.”
Hhayi-ke, I don’t know anymore. I have
made my intentions clear.
“I’m trying, we are working on rebuilding
trust. Rome wasn’t built in one day,” I say.
“Don’t build Rome, close your legs and be
faithful to my brother, clearly you can’t stay
away from him.” She picks the pack of
diapers from the couch. “Do you want
something to drink?”
“No, thanks. Can I say goodbye to
Zothani?” Now I just want to leave.
CHAPTER 5
SPHAKAMISO

Something happened, Nokwanda wouldn’t

promise to come by the shop to see me
and then ditch me without communicating
for no reason.
Nombuso is singing with no care in the
world, Zothani is strapped on her back.
I greet and check my son, I haven’t seen
him in two days. Aphelele is yet to meet
him, I have to take Zothani to Durban to
meet him and Aunt Teekay. Then
afterwards I can plan on going to introduce
him to MaNkosi and Nondu.
“His mother was supposed to come by and
see me at the shop but she never did.”
She chuckles, “Hah! She’s back at it again.”
“No, I don’t think so. Did anything upset
her when she came here?” I know
Nombuso might have said something that
didn’t sit well with her. She was looking
forward to seeing me.
“No, she left in high spirits,” she says.
“Really? This is confusing.” I’m still very
suspicious of her.
“What did she want from you?”
“We have a baby together, what do you
mean?” Nokwanda doesn’t need a reason
to come and see the father of her baby.
“But the baby is here, what is it that she
wanted to discuss with you in privacy?”
“We have unresolved issues,” I say.
“There’s nothing to resolve from your side,
that’s why I told her to choose what she
wants. She can’t be a dick-hopper by night
and your straight girlfriend by day. Clearly
she can’t stay away from you, she must
learn to keep her legs closed. If there are
things her father didn’t teach her about
carrying herself as a young woman, then I
will teach her on his behalf, zero fees.”
“There was no need for all of that
Nombuso, she’s 21 years old,” I say.
“I was still a virgin at 21,” she says, now this
is about her and her virginity.
“I don’t know why you’re even advocating
for her. I was fighting for you, you cry to
me when she hurts you.”
“I don’t cry to you, you ask me what
happened and I tell you.” Jeez, this is why
Mkhuleko was never open with his
relationships.
“Okay, never tell me your problems again,
even if I ask,” she says.
Amen, I can work with that.
I have to call Nokwanda and find out how
she’s feeling. I know Nombuso, she can be
harsh.

She answers; “Hey.”

“Are you driving?” It sounds like she’s on
the road.
“Yeah, I’m going to Durban to see my
aunt,” she says.
“Which aunt?” I’m confused.
“My mom, Thule. We are acting for her
new fiancee who doesn’t like women with
children,” she says.
I’m not comfortable with this, Manzini has
told me so much about her mother, she’s
not a good influence.
“I thought you’re preparing for exams,” I
say.
“Don’t worry, I will ace my exams. Is
Zothani okay?” she asks.
“Yeah, he’s fine. Wena?”
She sighs heavily. “I will be fine.”
“Please don’t take everything my sister says
to the heart. She’s a very blunt person,
sometimes she says things out of turn.”
“Phaka, there’s a thin line between blunt
and rude,” she’s angry.
“I know, but she’s helping us with Zothani,
I just want you to be a little bit patient with
her personality. She may look like a tough
cookie but trust me, she’s actually a very
soft person.” Thunder will strike me one
day, just for lying without shame.
“I hear you,” she says.
It makes me sad that she’s not finding
common grounds with Nombuso because
we need one another.
“Is she the reason why I was stood up?”
She laughs, “Stood up? I didn’t think you
were waiting for me.”
“I was,” I say.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t okay when I left
Zothani so I just came straight home.”
“So when am I going to see you?” I ask.
“I don’t know. But Nombuso wants me
every two weeks to come and do Zothani’s
laundry,” she says.
Nombuso, unbelievable!
“I can’t wait for two weeks, we need to
talk.” The truth of the matter is, I miss her.
I want us to talk things through so that we
can close this chapter and move on.
“Come to Durban then, to my place.”
“Tomorrow after work?” I ask.
“Yes,” she says.
It’s a date!

Mkhuleko is sitting on the stoep, outside

his room. He lives with Mpatho but home
is home, he always randomly just pop in. I
worry about him, his life is now stuck in
one place. I’ve been there, it’s depressing.
Malibongwe is trying though, but without
any communication between him and his
ancestors there’s nothing anyone can do.
“Zithini?” he asks me.
“Nothing, just a little misunderstanding
between your sister and Zothani’s mother.”
“Is Zothani’s mother the new Phume
vele?” He’s very foolish to say this.
He starts laughing when he sees my face.
“Manzi is grown,” he says.
I have that in my conscience, I don’t have a
tight relationship with Manzi for obvious
reasons. I keep telling myself I’m going to
make an effort but I never do.
“I’m going to see him and spend some time
with him,” I say guiltily.
“Mpatho also wants to see Aphelele. It’s
long overdue, you guys need to squash
this,” he says.
“We already squashed it.”
“You know that’s a lie.”
Phewww! He’s right, Mpatho has extended
his hand as long as he can, I need to
reciprocate the energy and everything will
be good.
CHAPTER 6
NOKWANDA

I’m on my way to meet with Thule and her

new fiancee, Gumbi. The thing is, my
mother gave birth to a version of herself
with extra layers. People call me a pyscho,
I’ve overheard it quite a number of times.
We are meeting at the Oyster Bar in
Wilson’s Wharf and I made sure I look a
part. And by that I mean I look motherless.
I spot them on a cozy seat, already having
some treats. As Thule raises her eyes I
flash a smile, she drops the fork with her
mouth wide open.
Gumbi looks very old, my father is fresher
than him.
“What the hell?!” She’s almost screaming.
I can’t believe the director has forgotten the
script. Anyway, I still plan on executing my
part exceptionally.
“Aunty!” I throw my arms around her.
She pushes me away, looking me up and
down to my white-brownish All-Star
sneakers that have no laces.
“What are you wearing? What is this?”
She’s pointing at my baggy jeans and
oversized ANC T-shirt.
“Dali, you’re attracting a lot of attention,”
says the man. Such a manly, soothing voice.
“Sawubona malume,” I greet shyly, casting
my eyes on the floor while biting my nails.
“Nokwanda, nice to meet you. Please sit
down, oh my goodness!” He’s helping me
down on my seat.
“Do you want something to drink? Food?”
He seems very concerned. It doesn’t look
like he hates children to me.
“Food,” I say with a sad nod.
Thule gives me an icy glare.
“You’re hungry?” He’s asking while putting
some hake on my plate. His hands are
even shaking, he’s trying to be quick.
“Food is like history to me. I haven’t eaten
since last week,” I cry, holding my stomach.
“Nokwanda!” Thule snaps at me.
“Dali!” that one word is a caution. I like
how he calls her, he seriously sees a wife
material in my mother. LOL
“Why haven’t you been eating?” he asks,
watching me down a large portion of hake
in one go.
“My stepmother doesn’t let me in the
kitchen. After my mother passed away he
remarried. I’m an abused stepchild,” I say.
Thule takes a deep breath. “Nokwanda can
we go and…”She’s abruptly cut off by
Gumbi. Thank God.
“What does your father say about all of
this?” He’s very interested in my story.
I shrug. “My father has a demanding job,
he’s hardly home.”
He looks at Thule, worry lines etched on
his forehead. “Why didn’t you tell me? We
have to take her in.”
I see my mother’s jaw tightening. If eyes
could kill I’d be dead by now.
“No malume, I’m okay, you don’t have to
take me in. But I don’t have shoes and
clothes,” I say in a trembling voice. Poor
me!
He looks at Thule, “Let’s take her for
some shopping after this.”
“We have plans, Gumbi.” She’s so
annoyed, I’m confused because so far I’ve
been nothing but a good niece.
“Dali, can’t we postpone?” He’s really soft,
he loves her.
“It’s fine, I can go to the shops alone,” I
say.
Gumbi nods, Thule is giving me a death
stare. Fortunately Gumbi has a good heart,
he takes out his fat wallet and count five
R200 notes and passes them to me.
“Just get shoes, I will send you money for
clothes. It’s a pity I had already made plans
with your aunt,” he apologizes.
“It’s okay malume, thank you.” I shove the
money in my pocket and eat. I’m going to
invest this money, I have a son now, I need
all sources of income that I can get to
secure his future.
-
-
-
I blocked Wise, our friendship is over. I
avoid him at campus, he knows Zothani is
not his, our story ends. I want nothing to
do with him ever again. I’m more mad at
the fact that I shared everything with him,
yet he couldn’t confess one thing that
could’ve ruined my whole life. I worked
very hard to have a good relationship with
Sphakamiso, to earn his trust. Wise was
among the first people I told about
Sphakamiso. Why would he do me dirty
like that?
Sphakamiso is on his way here, we are
going to squash the past and finally move
on. Pretending like I don’t miss him is
tiring. I’ve apologized, I never intended to
hurt him, all I want now is another chance
to prove myself to him again.
I cooked; I threw some pies in the
microwave. He’s a Zulu gent, they love
their meat, I have some marinated steak
turning itself in the oven.

The knock echoes, fear engulfs me. I don’t

know why I’m scared. I don’t want him to
be hurt because of me but lately that’s what
I’ve been continuously doing.
“I almost turned away,” he says smiling.
He’s shaved his head and left a little beard
to decorate his deep melanin face. I was
never attracted to dark skinned guys,
especially the village type. But Sphakamiso
is different, he makes me feel the things I
never thought I was capable of feeling. I’m
not someone who cares about people’s
feelings very easily, but I’m very protective
of his.
“How are you?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” I say.
“Ngiphethe lokhu okuncane,
umngenandlini.” He gives me a Spar bag
with a pack of biscuits, yogurt and fruits.
It’s a small gesture but to me it feels like he
came with a million dollar bag.
“Thank you,” I leave it in the kitchen and
leave him to the bedroom.
He’s coming from work, obviously he’s
tired.
“Take out your shoes,” I say.
He gives a little frown before taking them
out. I fetch warm water in a basin and give
him to soak his feet.
He’s giving me a strange look as he thanks
me. I want him to be in a relaxed mood,
then we can talk.
He lies back on the pillow while his feet are
soaking. He’s quietly staring at the ceiling.
“I tried calling Nombuso earlier, her phone
was off,” I say.
“It must’ve been the signal, she’s yet to
change her network provider. But Zothani
is fine,” he says.
“What about his father, how is he?” I ask.
He shifts his eyes from the ceiling to me.
The blank stare means I already know.
He’s hurt.
He asks for a towel, I fetch it, he dries his
feet and pulls them to the bed. I take out
the water and join him in bed.
“Sphakamiso, I’m really…” He stops me
and holds my hand.
“Do you love me?” he asks.
What kind of a question is this? I’ve never
groveled like this for anyone before.
“I love you,” I say.
He looks at me for me for a good minute,
then shifts his eyes away with a deep
breath.
“I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I
do love you and I don’t want us to be
apart.”
“I don’t know how to trust you, Nokwanda.
But I do know how you make me feel. I
don’t want to let that go.” He looks at me
again, this time I can see deep affection in
his eyes.
“Your presence in my life revived
something I thought was dead inside me. I
really wish for us to have a chance to
explore what we feel for each other without
insecurities, third parties and on-and-off
communication.”
“So you’re giving us another chance?”
“Let’s try again,” he says.
My heart melt. I feel relieved and happy.
This time there’s no Wise, no Whatsapp
ghosting and chasing thrill. I’m wiser, I
have a baby now.
He pulls me close, tucks his head over my
shoulder and kisses my neck. I lift his face
to me.
“Hey, I miss you,” I say.
He breathes sharply, “Nami
ngiyakukhumbula. I just want spend time
with you and love you.”
I kiss his lips, he grabs my neck and kisses
me back deeply. His other hand is running
around my waist, he’s breathing heavily.
“Are you on any contraceptive method?”
I know I’m hot like a heater, and I’m a
beast, he can’t not want me.
“I am, but it’s too early, Salo said I should
wait at least 3 months,” I tell him.
“I know, you need to heal and wait for
Zothani to mature a bit. It’s just that…I miss
you, you make me happy. With you it feels
like I’m experiencing adulthood for the
first time.”
I’m proud of myself.
“Can we cuddle?” He’s pulling my leg over
his waist, rubbing his hand on my thigh.
I kiss his lips, “Okay.”
CHAPTER 7
SPHAKAMISO

I asked Aunt Teekay to give me Aphelele

for the weekend. She wants to meet
Zothani but it’s still to early for him to
travel. Aphelele is here, we are getting
ready to visit Manzi.
“Nokwanda needs to come over next
Saturday because I have to go to the
market and buy some items that are
missing,” Nombuso says.
It’s just one month away from the
Mthethwas’s gifting ceremony. Malibongwe
finally chose a date, Miyanda went home to
help that side with some preparations as
well. I can’t wait for the wedding, after
Malibongwe obviously it’s Nombuso,
Mapholoba already sent his people. Then
it will be down to the last two, me and
Mkhuleko. God will help us, there’s no
hope.
“I will tell her,” I say.
“Your brother didn’t pay me.”
I’m confused. “You didn’t work nje, you’re
no longer his employee.”
“Because I have to take care of Zothani.”
“But that’s not how the business works, you
know we already have another cleaner that
needs to be paid.” Hhayi-bo Nombuso, just
when you think her head functions well she
drops a bombshell. Who’s ever got paid
for sitting at home?
“I can’t have no money like this, I hate
being broke. So you will have to give me
some money every month.”
I should’ve known better!
“Mapholoba gives you money,” I say.
“He has to save up for the wedding pre-
ceremonies and he has a lot of kids. I want
R500 a month,” she says.
“Yoh, Nombuso!” I’m getting a decent
payment from the shop but I keep making
babies, so my life is not getting any better.
“Nannies get R3.5k, I’m not even asking
for half of that,” she says.
“Fine, I will give you.” It’s a lesson, I must
start practicing safe sex at all times because
if I get one more baby clearly I will sink
into depression.
“You have to talk to Nokwanda about
applying for social grant, I will collect it, it
will help you.”
I don’t see Nokwanda agreeing to do that,
maybe if it was something they could apply
for online, but going to stand long Sassa
queues? I will run it past her though and
hear what she has to say. I’m really the
poorest, I don’t think any of my brothers’
kids are Sassa grant recipients, they are
afforded by their parents. Mpatho the rich
trust-fund brother only has one baby,
Malibongwe the real hustler and heist
master only has baby. Then there’s me, the
shopkeeper, I already have two babies
from different mothers, and I’m not even
30 years old.

It's late I’m sure Mpatho is home, I don’t

want to find Phume alone. We’ve both
moved on but I know how uncomfortable
Mpatho gets. It used to make me feel
happy, I won’t lie. I liked that he was
shaken by what I stood for, I really enjoyed
seeing him burn with jealousy. But not
anymore, I will always care for Phume in a
special way but what I have with Nokwanda
is precious more than anything.
I call Mkhuleko to open the gate for me.
He also hasn’t seen Aphelele in over a
year. He’s happy.
“Look how grown you are!” He says when
he lifts Aphelele up and his feet dangle
over his knees.
“What are they feeding you in Durban?”
“Gogo gives me pizza,” Aphelele.
We laugh, he’s still counting other
delicacies Aunt Teekay spoils him with.
“Did you see your brother?” Mkhuleko
asks. He’s up to something.
“Yes, the baby,” Aphelele says.
“Do you like him?”
“Yeah,” my boy is not like his cousin,
Nzuzo, he loves his sibling.
“Do you know his mom?”
Aphelele shakes his head.
“It’s Nokwanda,” the fool, I don’t know
what he’s trying to do.
“Nokwanda has a big tummy.” Aphelele
says and shows how big Nokwanda’s
tummy is, or was. It’s a bit weird,
Nokwanda has a relationship with the
Mhlongos, Aphelele is growing up a
Mhlongo, they already know her. Maybe if
I knew Salo and who she’s in a relationship
with I would’ve suppressed my feelings for
Nokwanda and I would’ve turned her
down.
“That’s your mommy too now,”
Mkhuleko. He’s forward in everything
except his failed relationship with Nosipho.
“No, I want my own mom,” Aphelele says.
My heart breaks. I had a chance to
introduce him to Snenhlanhla while she
was in rehab but I was to egoistic to do it.
Now she’s gone back to the streets, Mpatho
is not going to look for her again.
We walk in, Manzi is the first person I see.
He’s standing by the coffee-table banging
something on it. Miracles do happen,
nobody could’ve guessed that he’d be like
this one say. Mnqobi reached certain steps
faster but it’s understandable, the good
thing is that he can also use his feet.
“Do you see your brother?” I ask
Aphelele.
Manzi is a chubby baby, I think twice
before picking him up. At least his father
has muscles, I don’t.
“Hey ndoda!” I poke his plum cheeks.
He looks at me in the eyes and pulls his
brows like he’s going to slap me.
“He doesn’t like people touching his face,”
Mpatho says, coming in.
“Who does he think he is?” This boy, I’m
his uncle, I can touch him wherever I want.
He laughs, “UMshazi lo!”
Aphelele knows Mpatho, he just doesn’t
know who the hell he is in the family. But
he’s seen him, he’s not frowning like
Manzi.
“Shake my hand,” Mpatho says pulling his
little hand. They shake hands.
“He’s visiting Manzi,” I say.
“Why didn’t you tell us in advance? We
would’ve gotten him some toys in the
room.”
“He’s not sleeping over,” I say.
“What kind of visiting is that? He has to
sleep over and get to know this side of his
family,” he says.
“Don’t worry, I will sleep with him,”
Mkhuleko says.
This wasn’t part of my plans, I only
brought him one set of clothes just in case
he messes himself.
“Let me call my wife,” Mpatho stands up
and pulls Aphelele with him. Kushade
abanye this time!
“I’m going to the Jacuzzi,” Mkhuleko
announces.
“Okay,” I say, I’m occupied by Manzi, I
don’t care where he’s going.
“Then I will go to the cinema room
upstairs,” he says.
“Go Mkhuleko,” I’m already annoyed with
him.
“I will take my clothes to the laundry room
so that the helper can wash them in the
morning before I eat English breakfast.”
See why you shouldn’t take a village boy
out of the village.
“Mkhuleko, I get that you’re living with rich
people now but what’s happening with your
relationship?”
“Mxm!” He gets up and leaves.
Thank God! I’m tired of hearing about his
luxurious routines. He’s so childish, no
wonder Nosipho dumped him.

Mpatho comes back with Aphelele over his

shoulders, Phume dragging her sleepers
behind him. I guess she was asleep, her
eyes look red, she has her braids messily
tied behind her neck. The first few seconds
are awkward until she comments on
Aphelele’s height.
“Manzi is growing fast,” I say.
It’s less awkward when we just talk about
the kids.
“Thanks for saying that because I’ve been
telling her,” Mpatho says. It looks like he’s
got his own agenda though.
“Manzi is still a baby,” Phume insists.
“He’s a grown man,” I say.
Nobody can convince me that this baby is a
baby. He frowns, gives death stares and
yanks his hands.
“Exactly!” Mpatho says.
“No,” Phume gives him a meaningful stare.
Is he scared of her? He seems to be
dropping whatever secret argument lies
behind Manzi being grown enough.
“Does he have any allergies?” She’s asking
about Aphelele.
“No,” I say.
“How does he sleep, with lights on or off?
Does he eat at night? Any specific rules we
should obey?”
Yoh, I’ve never had my son doing sleep-
overs. Not to mention that I don’t live with
him.
“He can talk, he will tell you if he needs
something,” I say.
She turns to Aphelele and smiles. “Ice-
cream?”
It’s an instant yes from Aphelele, they leave
us chatting their way to the kitchen. I never
thought she’d ever like Aphelele, she
wanted nothing to do with him, she looked
at him with so much hatred.
“That’s his biological mamncane,” Mpatho.
I forget that sometimes, maybe because
Phume and Snenhlanhla have no
relationship except the fact that they share a
father. Our next generation will be
confused, we are such a complicated
family.
“How is the little one?” he asks.
“He’s okay,” I say.
“And the grandfather from his mother’s
side. I heard that he wants you to pay for
the damages,” he says.
“Yeah, he does, but for now I don’t think
he’s going to get anything.”
“He has to. You’re living with the baby
while you haven’t paid anything to the
mother’s family. I know it’s circumstances
but traditionally it’s wrong and
disrespectful. Talk to him and find out
what is needed.”
“Are you going to pay?” I’m asking because
I know very well that I can’t afford even
one cow. Aphelele’s damages were paid for
by Malibongwe, he knows it.
“Yes, but let this be the last time you are
having an unplanned baby. In fact just raise
the boys without adding any more baby
until you’re financially stable and married.”
God loves me, if I needed confirmation
this right here is one. He always makes a
plan for me. I’m relieved, I’m happy, I’m
grateful.
“Thank you, I will call him tomorrow
morning,” I say.
“No more babies!” he says.
Malibongwe said this before paying for the
damages, 8 months later I went home with
another baby.
CHAPTER 8
NOKWANDA

I guess I’m now a village babymama,

whether I like it or not I have to buy skirts
and dresses for when I visit Zothani. Pants
are not allowed there, I have to respect
that.
I’m going there tomorrow, Nombuso has
plans for the weekend. I’m looking forward
to it because I know she won’t be there and
I have a boyfriend there. I’m ready for us
to rekindle our love.
Today I’m with Nkatha, we are going to
have dinner with Salo and the kids. I’m still
the only girl, my place is still safe in my
father’s heart. I don’t know when Salo
plans to move out of her house, it’s close to
the beach and too big for a woman to live
alone. I think he wants to hold on to the
memories her and Bab’ Zothani had, it’s
his house. Maybe for Khaya’s sake, I don’t
know. It will be easier if she moved in with
him, then he wouldn’t have to drive around
everyday.
I leave him getting some shopping bags out
of the car. I walk in to Khaya’s chaos.
“Hello Rabbit,” I call him.
He comes to me running. We have a
beautiful relationship, he’s my Gee.
“I’m the cat,” he says.
He’s a different animal every week.
“Oh, hey cat.” I lift his face and kiss his
cheek. “Where is Slindo?”
“He’s sleeping, Slindo is the baby, babies
sleep.” He tells me like I’m stupid.
“Then why are you not asleep because
you’re also a baby?” I ask.
“I’m a cat, not a baby,” he argues.
I hope Zothani grows up fast as him. I love
babies that can talk and engage a person.
When his father walks in he abandons me.
Salo is watching TV. I’m surprised, I
thought I’d find her preparing the dinner
table.
“Mom,” I say.
She turns around, “Daughter- makoti.”
“I thought you invited us for dinner,” I say.
“I did but I got lazy to cook. Is your father
here? He needs to make us something.”
My poor father!
“How is Zothani?” he asks.
“Zothani is fine, his crazy aunt takes good
care of him,” I say.
“I hope so because we don’t want what
happened to Aphelele to happen to him.”
“What happened to Aphelele?” I’m
anxious. My son’s life is basically in her
hands.
“She abused him, that’s why he lives with
Aunt Teekay. Didn’t you know that?”
“No. Abused him in what way?” My chest
is pounding. Why would Sphakamiso take
my son and give him to an abuser?
“I don’t know what way, but she didn’t love
him, his life was hard,” Salo says.
I have to call Sphakamiso. I’d rather drop
out and raise my son than to have him
mistreated away from me.

“Sthandwa sami,” he answers.

“Hey, can we talk?” I ask.
“Yeah, I just got home, what’s going on?”
“Why did you move Aphelele away?”
He’s quiet for a minute, he’s probably
wondering what is the motive behind this
question.
“I couldn’t afford taking care of him,” he
says.
“So it wasn’t because Nombuso abused
him?” I ask.
A deep sigh.
Lord protect my son!
“She’s a different person now,” he says.
“How? You still have Aphelele living away
from you.” I’m mad right now.
Why does it have to be my son who’s being
used as a testing tool of her new
personality?
“We sorted things out, I can’t take
Aphelele away from Aunt Teekay because
they have a strong connection and she
doesn’t have a baby of her own. It would
break her. Nombuso loves Khaya, if she
didn’t you would’ve known, everybody
would’ve known. She doesn’t hate anyone
behind their backs, she didn’t mistreat
Aphelele behind my back, she did it in
front of me. Nombuso owns up to her shit,
she’s an open book. How she treats
Zothani in front of us, is how she treats him
behind our backs, trust me.”
“Are you sure?” I ask.
He chuckles, “I’m her brother, I know her
better than anyone. If she likes you, she
likes you. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t.
Zothani is her baby, she loves him. I also
wanted her to shift her attention away from
losing Yoli.”
I take a deep breath of relief. I trust
Sphakamiso and what he says about
Nombuso is the truth from what I’ve
observed so far. She’s never pretended to
like me but with Zothani it’s different. I
don’t like that she feeds him maize
porridge and wraps him on her back with
old towels, but she does all that out of love.
“I’m sorry, I was on my nerves,” I say.
“It’s okay, as a mother you should worry
about your son. Are you good though?”
“Yeah, I’m okay, just hungry,” I say.
“I would’ve cooked for you if you were
here,” he says.
“Cook for me tomorrow when I’m there.”
I’m relieved after the call, now I can sleep
peacefully knowing that my son is safe. I
don’t take Salo’s warning for granted
though. I just wonder why she didn’t tell
me early, she’s Zothani’s grandmother
from my side. Thule doesn’t count, I doubt
she even remembers Zothani’s name.

They’ve ordered food, we are watching TV

with Khaya singing in front of it, while
waiting for delivery.
“Sphakamiso will pay for the damages end
of the month,” baba says.
“Zothani’s father?” I’m shocked.
I just spoke to him now, he didn’t tell me
anything.
“Yes, it’s about time,” he says.
I don’t know how I feel about this, a part of
me is happy but I’m also worried because I
know Sphakamiso is just making ends-
meet.
“So we will go home?” Salo asks.
“Yes, I called the elders to let them know.”
“See, you wanted to sell the house
remember? How were you going to
perform ceremonies in a white
neighborhood?”
Nkatha smiles, “That’s why you’re in my
life, right? You’re my voice of reason.”
“Thank me,” she instructs.
“Ngiyabonga MaNjomane sthandwa sami,
mama wabantabami.” He’s smiling at her
like they just fell in love yesterday.
“That’s more like it.” They share a steamy
kiss, Khaya has to intervene and break
them apart. I feel like I was tagged along
just to watch them being all over each
other.
I’m saved by Slindo waking up, I haven’t
spent enough time with him because he’s
almost Zothani’s age, both Salo and I have
been caught up in motherhood. Having
Slindo in my arms makes me miss Zothani.
I miss my son.
I take his bottle and feed him. I’m missing
out on great memories with Zothani. His
parents go to the door to receive the food.
Khaya is a climber, he’s climbing on the
coffee-table as soon as his mother turns her
back. I can’t believe these are my siblings, I
look like their mom.
“Guys are you going to have more babies?”
I ask the parents when they come. I just
want to know if they plan on stopping to
embarrass me.
“No,” Salo says.
“Yes, we will,”- Nkatha.
Salo looks at him, she’s smiling.
“For what?” she asks.
“We still enjoy making them.”
I cover my ears in the blood of Jesus
Christ. Salo is laughing instead of putting
down her foot, I’m tired of having baby
siblings.
-
-
-
I get a call in the morning as I get ready for
my trip to the Mcinekas. I don’t know this
number.
“Is this Zothani’s mother?” the woman
asks.
“Yes,” I say anxiously.
“Okay, you’re talking to Phume,
Sphakamiso’s brother’s wife. I got your
number from Miyanda. I wanted to know
what you’ve planned about the 14th?”
“The 14th?” I’m confused.
“Miyanda’s gifting ceremony. Are we
going? What are we wearing? I’ve never
been to such a ceremony as a sisterwife of
the person,” she says.
“This is my first time hearing about it.” I’m
even confused why she thinks I’d go. I’m
not that close with the Mcinekas.
“I thought you already know, I will call
Nombuso.” She drops the call.
CHAPTER 9
NOKWANDA

I find only Sphakamiso and his brother

home. It’s empty and peaceful, which feels
a bit strange. I don’t know if they cooked
or they haven’t eaten. Nobody is here to
tell me anything, for once in my life I miss
Nombuso. I can’t sit in the room and ask
Sphakamiso for everything. I have to make
Zothani’s bottles, do his laundry, warm his
bathwater and eat too.
Sphakamiso walks in, I just got Zothani
asleep.
“Are you still good?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I’m lying.
I don’t know what to do with my life here.
His brother is sitting right on the rondavel,
even moving around is hard with him
watching like a hawk.
“Can I make you something to eat?”
“Did your brother eat?”
“I don’t know, I’m not his wife.”
“Awkward!” I feel miserable, like I’m
responsible for them, two grown ass men.
“Just sit here, I will take care of you,” he
says.
“What about Zothani’s laundry?” I ask.
“I will do it in the morning, just relax,
Nombuso is not around.” He steals a quick
kiss from my lips, inviting a smile on my
face.
But I’m not going to quarantine here in his
room all day while he runs the errands with
his brother watching.
“Let me go to the kitchen and make
Zothani’s bottle, then I will come back and
rest,” I say.
“Must I wait for you?” he asks.
“Yeah, look after the baby, don’t let the
dog come in and eat him.” I don’t trust that
Ruby dog, she’s always chasing something
around the yard.
The pots are empty, all the dishes are in
the cupboards looking squeaky clean. It
doesn’t look like they bothered making any
food for themselves since morning.
I live by myself, I’m not a fan of cooking
but I know some easy recipes. I boil water
for Zothani’s bottle while washing the rice.
It’s easy moving around, I even have time
to go through all the pictures inside the
house, I’m alone. Nombuso’s wedding
pictures, ah! I can’t believe someone like
her would do a hairstyle like this on her
wedding day. So, she’s never been skinny,
not even as a child.
Damn, I should defrost the meat and find a
peeler for the veges. I look everywhere for
it, all I see is knives.
“Maka Zothani?” A shocked voice calls
from the door.
It’s Malibongwe, I stand frozen.
“I will cook,” he says.
Oh, he’s just shocked that I’m cooking.
“I’ve already started, so it’s fine. What do
you peel potatoes with?” I ask.
“Knife,” he says.
I look at my nails, I should’ve known
better. But it’s no trainsmash, I will use the
knife, hopefully I don’t cut myself.
“I will peel for you,” he says and doesn’t
wait for me to respond, he comes in and
washes his hands and takes the knife.
Now I have an assistant cook and it’s
someone I’m uncomfortable being around.
He gets the rice pot before me and sieves
it. I wanted to roast the potatoes but he
thought I’m going to add them to the beef
and chopped them.
I chop onions while he’s busy with rice and
I regret it. I have tears streaming down my
face, this is why I hate serious cooking. I
turn my face to the side and chop, my
finger gets in the way.
I feel the stinging pain and cry out loud.
“You cut yourself?” he asks.
I nod and look at my finger.
“Oh my God, there’s blood! I’m going to
die, I’m finished,” I cry.
I hate seeing blood, for me it stands for
death. Malibongwe comes with serviettes
and covers my finger with them.
“Press them like this, you’re not going to
die, it’s just a small cut,” he says.
“It’s not a small cut, there’s so much blood.
I want to go to the hospital.” Sphakamiso
needs to come, there’s an emergency.
“Do you drink juice?” he asks, ignoring my
request of being taken to the hospital.
I nod, I definitely need something to drink.
I’m losing blood, I have to take in some
liquids to boost my flow.
He asks me to go and sit in the lounge,
then follows me with a glass of icy juice. I
get distracted by the show airing on TV and
end up forgetting about my finger accident.
I’m only brought back to life by a baby
crying. I look up, Sphakamiso is walking in
with Zothani. Jeez, I came here to make his
bottle. I rush to the kitchen, the bottle is
already made.
“Thank you bhuti,” I say.
Malibongwe is very kind, he’s different
from all his siblings.
“I have been waiting for you in the room all
this time and you’re just watching TV.
What happened to your finger?”
“The knife cut me,” I say.
“It jumped out of the drawer and cut you?”
He can be so foolish.
“I was cutting onions and it cut me,” I say.
He frowns, “Cutting onions?”
“Trying to cook, I thought you guys are
hungry. But don’t worry, your brother took
over and told me to relax here.”
I take Zothani and check his diaper, he just
got changed. He must be hungry, I feed
him his bottle. He’s such a calm baby, once
he’s full he minds his own business and
holds peace.
“Your brother’s wife called me this
morning and asked if I have any plans for
Miyanda’s ceremony. Why didn’t you
invite me?”
“Would you go?” he asks.
“It doesn’t matter, why didn’t you invite
me?” I want to know.
“I didn’t think you’d be keen,” he says.
“What about not telling me that you’re
paying for the damages end of the month?
I thought you were broke,” I ask.
He chuckles, “That is being arranged by
my brother, the oldest one.”
“Wow, you’re a spoilt-brat.” I can finally
use this term on him now. He’s always
going on about me being a spoilt brat,
getting everything done for me.
“I’m not a spoilt brat,” he’s laughing.
Yes, he is.
Malibongwe sets up for lunch and calls us
to the kitchen to eat. I feel less awkward
about it because I cooked and stopped
halfway, it’s not like coming out of the
room to eat without lending a hand. I’m
actually proud of myself, I’m growing into a
compassionate woman.
-
-
-
We ended up doing Zothani’s laundry
today, Malibongwe drove out and we had
enough time to go to the tap outside.
Sphakamiso washed, I rinsed and put on
the hanging line. I’m such a hard-working
woman, I rinsed all 30 of them.
I’m exhausted, I just want to get in bed and
have a long sleep. But I’m a mom, Zothani
is still awake, I can’t sleep yet.
“When did you last talk to your mom?”
“You like my mom, don’t you?” I mean,
he always asks about her when he’s with
me. I wonder if Thule will like him the day
she finally meets him.
“I care about your relationship with her. I
know you have your ups and downs, but I
hope you stay in touch every now and
then.”
“Yeah, we talk. I’m going to call her some
time this week and tell her about inhlawulo
that you’re coming to pay for. She has to
come and be with us.”
“That’s good,” he says and releases a deep
breath.
I turn my eyes to Zothani, he’s finally
defeated by sleep. Thank God I can sleep
now.
“Let’s lay a blanket for him on the floor for
a little while,” says Sphakamiso.
“On the cold floor?” I ask.
Is he crazy?
“It’s been over 3 months now Nokwanda, I
miss you,” he says.
“Just for sex?” I’m in disbelief.
“Okay, let’s move to the floor ke, we will
get in bed when we are done. Please
sthandwa sami, I miss being inside you.”
“But I’m tired,” I say.
“You’re not going to do anything, you will
just lie on your back and let me do
everything,” he says.
My body changed after having Zothani, I
haven’t had many sex thoughts. I know it
looks strange to him because we used to
fuck like rabbits and I was usually the
leader.
I lie on my back in my underwear, he
pushes a pillow under my head and stares
at me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Nothing, I just want us to be done so that I
can sleep.” I’m just tired, okay. But the
truth bruises him, I can see the hurt in his
eyes.
“Awusang’thandi yini? It doesn’t look like
you still find me attractive,” he asks.
“No, I still love you and I’m attracted to
you.” I grab his face and kiss his lips. I
didn’t mean to make him feel this bad. It’s
not him, it’s me.
He pushes his hand under my panty and
rubs between my folds. It takes a lot of
mental activation for me to be present and
wet for him, something we never struggled
with. He pulls my panty off and unhooks
my bra to play with my boobs. They’re
bigger now, I don’t know if the milk is
completely dry. I’m scared as he twirls the
nipples and squeezing them.
“Are they mine or Zothani’s?” he asks.
I laugh, “Yours.”
He drops his hand to my mound and grabs
it. “And this, is it mine also?”
I nod, “Yes.”
“Okay, ngiyabonga Manzini.” He kisses my
lips, slowly, like he’s savoring every bit of
taste from them.
I open my legs, he slides over me and
slowly inserts himself. I close my eyes, the
first strokes don’t make me feel anything.
I’m just lying there, he’s thrusting in and
out, hard as a rock, but it gives me nothing.
He pulls out and rubs my clit with the tip of
his dick. Now I’m feeling something.
“I love you, Nokwanda. I feel complete
when I’m with you,” he says, locking me in
a gentle stare. There’s a hard vein popping
on his temple.
“Please let loose mawakhe, I’m not going
to hurt you,” he begs.
I nod and take a deep breath. I’m not
scared he’s going to hurt me, I know he
won’t and I’ve completely healed.
He re-inserts himself, I keep my eyes shut.
He’s giving me slow, long strokes while
rubbing my clit with his two fingers. My
whole body gets warm, I wrap my hands
around his back and move to his rhythm.
I’m enjoying now. What makes me happy
is that he also starts enjoying when he hears
that I’m enjoying. I just love him dearly.
I pull down his face and kiss his lips. I
don’t want to make too much noise,
Zothani will wake up. Now we have to be
careful and calm with our sexual escapades.
He unlocks our lips to tell me something;
“Kumnandi mawakhe, it feels so good.”
His hush, trembling voice complements
what he claims he’s feeling. He locks our
lips in a kiss again.
Only to break it again after a few strokes.
“Do you know why I love you so much?
You really make me happy Nokwanda.
With you it feels like I’m experiencing
everything for the first time,” he says.
“Really babe?” I’m falling in love with this
guy everyday.
“Yes sthandwa sami. You make me feel so
happy, ungivulela kamnandi ikhekhe. I
love you mama wengane yami.” He takes
deep breaths and tucks his face on my
neck.
I drop my hands to his firm butt and
squeeze it. He also feels so good inside me.
I want to spank his butt, I want to feel how
it’s like spanking such a firm butt.
“Hhayi Nokwanda!” He almost rolls off
me, he’s so shocked, the spank caught him
off- guard.
Zothani wakes up and starts crying.
“Let’s finish, I will be fast,” he says, picking
a different pace.
I rub my clit so that I can also cum fast. It’s
like Zothani has something against our
happiness, he’s crying louder and louder.
“Phaka,” I’m feeling guilty about this.
“I’m about to cum sthandwa, I will take
him.” He’s now running a marathon on top
of me. I see his jaw tightening, he’s very
close.
“Hhayi bo, hhayi bo, hhayi bo!” Is that
Nombuso? I thought she was sleeping over
at her man’s house and coming back
tomorrow.
Sphakamiso stops but his cum is already
swimming between my thighs.
“Why is he crying like this? Sphakamiso
are you not inside here?” She’s banging the
door. At this point Zothani is pulling a
stunt, he never cries like this. He just wants
to put us in trouble.
“I’m here, I’m taking him.” Sphakamiso
picks his pants without even wiping his
dick. I wrap the duvet around myself and
run to the bed. The louder his aunt shouts,
the louder Zothani cries. This baby has
inherited his aunt’s beef, he doesn’t like
me.
“Just open the door and give him to me,
hhayi suka!” She’s angry.
Sphakamiso picks Zothani up with his
blanket and bottle. Jeez, his zip is down.
“Your zip,” I whisper.
His hands are occupied, he comes to me to
zip it up. Zothani is not quiet.
“Sphakamiso are you fuckin’ crazy?” the
lioness roars at the door.
“I’m coming,” he rushes to the door and
opens. His upper body is covered in sweat,
his eyes are sunken, anyone can see that
he’s been having sex.
Nombuso snatches the baby and peeks
through the door to give me a dirty look.
“You two are just useless,” she says and
walks off. I no longer hear Zothani crying,
he’s such a traitor.
Sphakamiso closes the door, we
simultaneously break into laughter. What
the hell!
CHAPTER 10
SPHAKAMISO

Time flies, before I know it’s the Friday

before the big Sartuday. The big Saturday
is the Saturday that Sphakamiso’s family
comes to pay for the damages. I’m going
home today, to my grandmother’s house. I
asked Thule that she only comes
tomorrow, I’m avoiding conflicts.
I’m packing a small bag, I bought some
clothes for Zothani. He’s already home
with Salo, Sphakamiso brought him in the
morning. I had a midday class, I couldn’t
be home earlier.
A knock echoes from the door. I’m not
expecting anyone but I’d be happy to open
this door and see Sphakamiso’s face.
But it’s Wise’s face that I see. He’s smart,
he should’ve known that I’m ignoring him
on purpose.
“Noks,” he walks in without permission.
I take a deep breath and turn to him.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“We don’t talk anymore. Are you mad at
me?” He’s asking, I thought he was smart
all this time.
“I asked what do you want?” I just want
him to leave me alone.
“I want us to be cool. I’m sure you’re still
mad about what I said regarding Zothani’s
identity but the truth is, we were both
drunk.”
“Yes, we were both very drunk, that’s why
you remembered what took place and I
didn’t.” He must be seeing FOOL written
on my forehead.
“I don’t forget Noks, you know me. But I
will apologize if that broke your trust. I
value our friendship, I miss you.”
“There’s no friendship, I’d like you to
leave,” I point him back out of the door.
Sphakamiso doesn’t trust me around him,
even if there was a chance for forgiveness,
him and I cannot be friends anymore. I
cannot choose him over my relationship,
he’s proved that he’s not worth it.
“Nokwanda, we’ve been friends for three
years. Are you really going to throw that
away over that farm-julia?” He’s giving me
more reasons not to want anything to do
with him. That farm-julia makes me cum
and he’s the father of my son.
“Leave Wise, don’t make me get my father
involved, things will escalate,” I say.
He looks hurt. I feel nothing, no sympathy,
no forgiveness. His father is late, he lives
with his stepfather, their relationship is
rocky. If this reaches their ears things will
escalate and it won’t end well for him. He’s
making the right choice by leaving me
alone.
-
-
-
SPHAKAMISO

Malibongwe has expressed his disapproval

ever since he found out Mpatho decided to
settle my damages at the Zungus. Today is
the day, they’re leaving with one live cow
and tons of cash. I know I have no credits
whatsoever but I’m feeling myself, I’m
proud of today.
I’m called in before they head out.
Mkhuleko is going with them, he will be
looking after the cow.
“We are leaving,” Malibongwe tells me.
“Okay, safe travels. I will be there later too,
Manzini invited me for dinner with the
family,” I say.
He looks at Mpatho. Of course they find it
weird because they don’t have good
relationships with their father-in-laws.
Manzini likes me, he asked me to come
over for dinner and meet my other
nephew, Slindokuhle.
“That’s nice,” he says, a bit sarcastic. “But
here is the most important thing, babies are
not cheap. You learned that with Aphelele,
I gave you time to learn a lesson. However
this time it looks like you’re not even going
to take a little responsibility.”
“Really, you’re still rambling about this like
a little bitch?” – Mpatho.
“You are encouraging him to make babies
he can’t afford,” Malibongwe says.
“So when you did it, it wasn’t an
encouragement?” They’re having one of
their many disagreements.
“I’m just saying you could’ve let him sort
out his mess. I was trying to teach him a
lesson and you didn’t allow that to
happen.”
“I’m older than you, you will control your
wife, not me. Where is Mkhuleko? We
have to go.”
I can’t believe I like Mpatho more than
Malibongwe. I know he’s still mad at me
and thinks I need to suffer to learn a
lesson.
“See you later,” I say.
He nods, I walk out before witnessing
more of “don’t save him” disagreements.
-
-
-
It all went well, they had a warm welcome
and all the proceedings were successful. I
waited for them to get home before leaving.
Nombuso was already fussing about
Zothani not being home, I’m coming back
with him later if Manzini agrees that I drive
with him at night.
It’s two weeks before the Mthethwas’ gifting
ceremony, Phume passed a message that
Nokwanda must send her sizes for the
attires. I’m not sure if Nokwanda is coming
but I invited her, Phume also wants her
there because she will be the only makoti
present since Miyanda will be with her
family. I don’t see Nokwanda and Phume
getting along, whether as sisterwives or
strangers. But I’m happy Phume is making
an effort, she doesn’t have a problem with
me moving on, unlike me.

It’s just after 5pm when I arrive at

Manzini’s house. I assume they also just
arrived, coming from Nokwanda’s
grandmother house where the slaughtering
happened.
I’m less nervous, Manzini has gotten to
know me better, we are on good terms. I
drive in, my Tazz no longer makes me shy,
I let it roar even in the white
neighborhoods.
Nokwanda gets me from the door, she has
Zothani in her arms. I want to give her a
kiss but that would be provoking her father.
So we just share a smile.
“How are you and my prince?” I ask taking
Zothani from her.
“We are good.” She leads me to the
balcony where her father and Salo are
seated. There’s a huge table set up with
chairs and assorted finger foods.
Manzini gets up to shake my hand.
“Now we can be buddies, you’ve paid for
your sin,” he says with a wide smile.
“Thank you Manzini.” I go over to my
sister and give her a hug. Our babies will
grow up like twins, they were born only a
few weeks apart.
“We are such a fertile family,” she says
jokingly. Unfortunately I can’t laugh at the
joke in front of Manzini.
“How is the shop coming along?” Manzini
asks. Nokwanda just joined us.
“It’s busy, so far so good.” I’m assuring him
just in case he thinks I will fail taking care
of Zothani.
“You must link up with Nkalipho, your
brother-in-law. It will open more doors for
you,” he says.
“Yes, I should.” I remember the last invite
he gave me and I didn’t honor. I owe him
an apology, then surely I will lean close to
his advices because I want Unified to blow
and be one of the most successful family
businesses. That’s our legacy as a family
and if I pull more sales, who knows maybe
I might be the one doing a gifting ceremony
next year.
A lady comes and takes both Slindo and
Zothani before the main meal is served.
I’m sitting here, trying my best not to be
mesmerized by my babymama’s beauty.
She did new braids, she looks so neat and
beautiful. I can just lick that smooth face.
Her phone rings, she answers and talks
softly to the person.
“Umh, Sphakamiso, do you want some
salad?” Salo asks.
I take my eyes off Nokwanda, feeling a bit
embarrassed.
“Yeah, sure,” I say.
She calls the server, he comes and brings
me some green leaves and roots.
Nokwanda announces that her mother just
arrived. Of course I’ve been looking
forward to meeting my son’s grandmother,
but it looks like I’m the only one happy to
hear the news.
Nokwanda leaves the table, she’s also not
happy about it. Why do they hate her so
much? Yes, I’ve heard unpleasant things
about her but she’s still her mother.

Nokwanda’s mom is shorter than her.

She’s coming with a tall, grey-haired man
with a big stomach. The man is holding
multiple shopping bags. Nokwanda appears
behind them after a minute, she has a 10kg
of rice in her arms. I didn’t even know she
can carry a 10kg. But why are they coming
here with groceries?
Manzini is just as confused.
Cold greetings are exchanged. This dinner
just dropped from 100 to 0.
“Where is my cow?” she asks, running her
eyes around the table until they land on
me. She looks at me longer.
“You will get what’s yours. Who is this and
why are you coming with groceries in my
house?”
“Oh, this?” She turns around to look at
Nokwanda as she moves things away. “It’s
from Gumbi, Nokwanda’s stepfather.
Sorry, I didn’t introduce.”
Gumbi is the stepfather, he’s meeting
Nokwanda’s father for the first time.
“Nice to meet you,” Manzini gets up. They
shake hands. He’s a good man.
“This is my fiance, Salo,” he says and
doesn’t even swallow his words before the
man spits fire towards my sister.
“You have no shame! A young woman like
you with such an evil heart.”
I’m confused, I don’t know what Salo did
but one thing I’m not going to do, is let this
man talk and spray his saliva on my sister.
“Excuse me?” Salo is confused.
Nokwanda’s mom is trying to stop her man
but he’s unstoppable, he’s spitting fire and
saliva.
“You deprive a child food. Just a mere
plate of food. Don’t you have kids of your
own? Would you be happy if someone
treated them the way you treat
Nokwanda?”
Nokwanda appears, her eyes are widen out
of their sockets. Does she perhaps know
what’s going on here?
“I don’t understand what you’re talking
about. How do I deprive Nokwanda of
food?” Salo looks at Nokwanda’s mom,
surely there’s an explanation for this.
“It’s a misunderstanding,” Nokwanda’s
mom says, grabbing this Gumbi’s hand.
“Nokwanda, come here!” Manzini is pissed
now, I would be pissed too if I was him.
“Did you say Salo mistreats you to these
people?” he asks.
“It’s a misunderstanding.”
Gumbi shakes his head, he’s even sweating.
“Don’t corner a child, as a father you
should make sure that your daughter is
okay. She lost her mother for crying out
loud, is your relationship more important
than her?”
Now we are all confused now.
“I lied,” Nokwanda says.
Okay, take a deep breath Sphakamiso.
“Thule said I must say my mother died.”
Huh???
“I’m sorry baba, I just said that to make
Gumbi believe that my mom is really late. I
said I live with an evil stepmother.” She
looks at Salo and apologizes to her as well.
Gumbi is now confused. “Nokwanda, you
were lying all this time?”
“Yes, my mother is still alive,” she says.
“Are you joking right now? So you and
your aunt both lied to me?”
Fuck, I remember this story. I just didn’t
know it was such a deep, twisted lie.
“Thule is my mom, not aunt,” she says.
If nobody passes this man a glass of water
he’s going to collapse. Luckily, Mrs Zungu
to be is kind enough to do it, regardless of
the insults she just received from the same
man.
“I’m so sorry dali, I didn’t want you to
leave me.” She’s bold enough to admit
denying her own child to save a
relationship.
“Thule, I trusted you.” The man looks very
embarrassed. He mumbles apologies and
walks away. She follows him singing
apologies.
“Baba….” Nokwanda.
Manzini grabs a glass of water and walks
away without listening.
She turns to Salo but she’s mad, she has
every right to be.
“An evil stepmother, really?” She clicks her
tongue and follows Manzini.
I’m also disappointed in her. She promised
me she’s changed, but this is the same old
Nokwanda.
“I can explain,” she says.
Sigh.
CHAPTER 11
NOKWANDA

I’m attending Miyanda’s ceremony, it’s

tonight. I was supposed to be here earlier
but I had to be at campus for a
presentation. Phume was in charge of the
attires we are going to wear. I don’t even
have a picture of what they look like. I
don’t care who she is, if I don’t like them I
will wear my own clothes.
It’s the first gathering that I will be a part of.
Being with the Mcinekas no longer makes
me feel nervous. I’m looking forward to the
ceremony, I have never been in a
ceremony of this nature before.
It’s around 3pm when I arrive, people are
running around the yard getting ready. It’s
two hours before we leave. I’m late, I
haven’t even done the fitting of my attire.
I pass Mkhuleko standing with Malibongwe
by the rondavel. They’re staring at me
weirdly. I greet, feeling a bit uncomfortably.
They respond but keep staring at me.
I make my way to the main house, the
kitchen is packed. I spot Nombuso coming
towards me, she’s giving me the same stare,
Zothani is wrapped on her back as usual.
“Nokwanda what is this?” She’s pointing
at…Damn, I’m wearing a skinny jean.
“I forgot, I’m coming from campus.” This
was truly not my intention. I respect their
no women in pants rule.
“Maybe you should stop wearing pants
altogether, this is embarrassing, honestly!”
She must’ve not been subjected into many
shames in life to be embarrassed by this.
She pushes me out, we head to
Sphakamiso’s room where she tells me to
sit and wait for her. Then she comes back
with her grandmother’s pleated skirt for me
to put over the jeans.
“This is ugly,” I say.
“This was my mother’s skirt, she only wore
it twice, Malibongwe bought it in Joburg.”
I don’t know what that is supposed to
justify, the skirt is still ugly even if it was
bought in New York.

I’ve seen Phume, I just can’t remember

where and when. I love the attires, they
have the same designs coming with similar
traditional hats. I try mine on and it turns
out the tailor nailed my sizes. I look like a
beautiful, young, well-kept makoti.
“Do you like it?” she asks.
“Yes, I love it. I’m going to keep it, right?
For my own gifting ceremony,” I ask.
“Phaka has proposed?” She shortens his
name the way I do.
I roll my eyes. “No, I don’t even want to
get married yet.”
“But would you say yes to him?” She’s one
nosy woman. Miyanda doesn’t ask me all
these questions.
“I love him but I don’t know if I’d move to
the village and be a housewife that births
and takes care of the babies.”
“That’s Miyanda,” she says.
I laugh. She’s shady.
“Where do you work?” I ask.
“Same workplace as Miyanda.”
Oh, she’s also a housewife.
“But I left the village and I have a boutique
that my team runs for me,” she says.
“Why don’t you run it yourself?” I’m
curious, how did they become housewives?
Do you just give up your own dreams and
dedicate everything to a man?
“I love doing nothing, I only do something
when I have to. My mother worked very
hard to get me this marriage, I have to
enjoy it.” She’s chatty AF.
“Your mother hooked you up with your
husband?” Yebantu, this woman.
“No, she arranged our marriage. Is my ass
not too fat in this?” She turns around to
show me her not-fat behind.
“You don’t have a fat ass,” I say.
She turns around rolling her eyes.
“Mpatho said it’s fat last night.”
Ewwww! Now I have to imagine that old
man doggying her and lying to her about
her ass.
We do our make-up, she’s a rich housewife
she brought her own MUA. We are with
the Mcineka cousin’s wife, Simi, she got the
same attire as us. I hope we are not going
to steal the spotlight from Miyanda because
hey, we look beautiful.
“Wow!” Even Nombuso is impressed.
She’s dressed in a different attire and white
Nike sneakers. She’s the African mama,
she looks good.
As Phume and Simi put their hats on I
remember that I have braids. The hat
won’t fit me, they didn’t tell me to do
something that’s going to accommodate it.
Hell, I didn’t even know what we are
wearing.
“And then you?” Nombuso looks at me
standing in front of the mirror hopelessly.
“I can’t put this on with braids
underneath,” I say.
Now they’re feeling sorry for me, we only
have one hour left. If I put something else
on my head my outfit will be ruined.
“You can help me, just cut them from the
top and then take them off, it will be easy.”
“I’m not a hairdresser,” she says with that
mean face.
I didn’t say she’s the hairdresser,
hairdressers make hairstyles, I’m asking her
to destroy it.
“So how am I going to put this on?” I’m
getting frustrated. I take my phone and call
Sphakamiso.
“Hhayi-bo, why are you bothering my
mother’s child? He’s packing the van.” She
doesn’t want to help me, she also doesn’t
want me to call MY babydaddy to come
and help me.
Sphakamiso is also not picking up, I don’t
know why he’s stressing me.
“I thought Phume was worse, you’re a
different story. At least she’s just lazy, big-
mouthed, spoilt and ignorant.” She’s
grabbing a scissor from the drawer and
coming with a chair next to me.
“Why are you involving me?” Phume asks.
“Did I involve you or I just mentioned your
name?” She looks at me. “Wase uba
wuphuhle? Sit down, there’s no time, you
could’ve gotten here earlier and we
would’ve sorted this out. But no, you
couldn’t because you were wearing skinny
pants.”
How is this the poor skinny jeans’ fault?
The pain I felt doing these braids at the
salon is nothing compared to her taking
them out. I’m squeezed between her big
thighs, she’s turning my head to different
directions aggressively. But I’m not
complaining because I don’t want her to
stop. I know if I dare even flinch, she will
use it as an excuse to stop.
“There’s no time to wash and dry,” she
says spraying my hair and inserting a comb
into my hair. My scalp is already burning,
she’s combing my hair like she’s fighting
with her man’s side-chick.
“Done, let’s see.” She grabs the hat and
puts it on my head. Finally, it fits perfectly.
I should be an ambassador of this tailor’s
brand, I look so good I don’t even want to
leave the mirror.
Someone walks in with Zothani crying.
Nombuso must take him, if I do Zothani
will ruin my outfit. At least she’s old and
her man won’t be there.
“Uyazazi ozele,” she says, whoever has a
baby know themselves, and walks away.
She’s so inconsiderate.
I take Zothani, this is one of those times
when you realize you have to get that birth-
control shot and make no mistakes.
I will be this beautiful with Zothani
throwing milk tantrums in my arms.

People get in taxis, vans carry goods, and

we the girlfriends and wives of MaVilakazi
get in the Audi Q3. It was Phume’s
wedding present from her husband.
Housewifing isn’t that bad, is it?
I didn’t see much of Sphakamiso, he was
busy. I’m only seeing what he’s wearing
now, when we arrive in this zig-zag village.
He’s wearing Jafari print shirt and jeans,
and umqhele on his head. I look around,
all of them, MaVilakazi’s sons decided to
wear similar shirts and jeans. I know it’s a
fake unity but I love it. Mkhuleko and
Sphakamiso almost have the same height
now. Sphakamiso and the oldest brother
almost look similar in complexion. Then
there’s the man of the day, he’s the tallest
and the brightest. He looks good even
when he’s stressed. I have warmed up to
him and he made that so easy.

I’ve never seen so many mountains, how

did Miyanda survive growing up here?
Even her own home is built on the
mountain, we have to leave cars down on
the road and climb with things on our
heads. My perfect excuse is Zothani, I can’t
carry anything.
“Where is the mkhongi’s wife?” Nombuso
asks, scanning the crowd.
Phume and I are having our faces re-
touched. Nombuso’s eyes land on her.
“Phume, I’m calling you,” she says.
“Oh, I didn’t hear. What do you want?”
This one doesn’t fear Nombuso, it’s
hilarious when they talk.
“You’re the mkhongi’s wife, don’t you
know yourself? It’s your duty as the head-
negotiator’s wife to carry the big pot.”
Phume looks shocked. “Mpatho is the
head-negotiator? I thought Sphakamiso
was.”
But she’s asking the wrong person, I don’t
know, even if Sphakamiso was the head-
negotiator he doesn’t have a wife to carry
the pot for him. Unfortunately for her this
isn’t up for negotiation because even some
aunts are telling her to carry it. They want
to assist put it on her head. It’s a fuckin big
pot that families use to cook traditional
beer, I feel sorry for her.
“What are you going to carry?” Nombuso
asks behind me. She took Zothani and
wrapped her on her back. That’s now
Zothani’s comfort spot, he even forget to
cry for his milk when he’s on her back.
“My bag,” I tell her.
“No, Aphelele can carry your bag.” She
calls Aphe and gives him my bag. I look at
everything that’s left on the ground, it’s all
10kg and big basins filled with stuff.
She picks a 10kg of rice and puts it on my
head.
“I can’t breath! My neck, no!” I can’t, I’m
going to die. Sphakamiso turns his eyes to
our direction with a frown on his face.
“You’re so embarrassing yazi,” Sis is not
happy. But she’s never been happy with
me, I no longer care.
“What can you carry? It has to be
something,” she asks.
“That basin but not with everything inside,
you have to take some out.” I point at the
mid-sized basin filled with fruits.
She’s pissed off, as she pours some into
another basin she’s telling me how she
can’t wait for this day to be over, I’m a
headache bla bla bla.
When she puts it on my head, it’s very
light, now I’m comfortable. We make our
way up carrying everything on our heads,
boys are pulling goats, there’s a young girl
singing at the front.
It looks like this is going to be a beautiful
ceremony. I love everything except carrying
fruits on my head.
CHAPTER 12
NOKWANDA

It’s after mid-night and they’re still at it.

Men are slaughtering and cooking goats,
girls are singing, women ululating every
now and then. I didn’t know we were not
going to sleep, not even for one hour. I’m
tired, I need a bed.
Phume shakes my arm. “Nokwanda, we
have to do a sisterhood contribution.”
I open my eyes, the light comes straight to
me. Damn!
“What?” I didn’t catch that.
“Umkhehlo, we need to contribute money
as her sisters from the groom’s family to
show that we welcome her.”
Wait, isn’t Miyanda living at the Mcinekas?
Nombuso comes and kneels in front of us.
“Where is Zothani?” I ask.
“Miyanda took him, he’s sleeping with her
aunts. How much are you contributing?”
I’m just a student, have they forgotten?
“Nothing,” I say.
“Even if it’s R10, it’s just a small token of
appreciation, her family has to know that
we love her and she will have sisters when
she marries Malibongwe,” she says.
“I get that.” Actually I don’t get it. They
already received so many gifts, now we
have to give Miyanda money to show that
she’s welcomed at the Mcinekas!
“I don’t have cash, can I send an Ewallet to
her?” I ask.
Phume laughs.
“They have to see the money, it’s going to
the basket,” Nombuso.
Phume opens her Hermes purse and takes
out a stack of notes. This is a show-off, this
is a lot of money.
“R5k, tell them it’s from Mpatho’s wife, I
want my sister to buy teabags,” she says.
The fuck! Which brand of teabags cost
R5k?
Simi contributes R1k, she says it’s for
Miyanda to buy sugar. Now I realize it’s just
a game, Zulu people tend to overspend
when it comes to weddings and its pre-
ceremonies and then be broke after.
I would’ve withdrawn some money if they
told me this is what we’d have to do.
Someone taps my shoulder, I turn my eyes
to the small boy. He’s handing me folded
R200 notes that come from the guy in a
Jafari print shirt. Babydaddy just came
through for me. Love is sweet, hey.
“Wait!” I stop Nombuso, I haven’t done
my contribution.
Mine is R800, it’s better than nothing.
“This is from Zothani’s mother, tell her to
buy milk,” I proudly throw the money in.
Nombuso raises her eyebrows, “Where did
you get it?”
“From Phaka,” I say.
I don’t know what the heavy sigh is for. I
enjoy the money games, Miyanda is getting
a lot of money. But when I hear that the
groom’s brother, Sphakamiso, just
contributed R6000 for makoti’s cosmetics I
worry about my own cosmetics.
Sphakamiso has never given me any
money, unless if it’s necessary for Zothani’s
needs. I have to address this soon.
Phume’s husband doubles her amount. If
I’m counting accurately Miyanda has
already received cash close to R25k. But
now the groom is under pressure, he can’t
give his own wife to-be anything less than
what his brothers have given. Mpatho has
raised the bar, I expect nothing less than
R12k from Malibongwe.
But there’s still one brother who hasn’t
contributed. Babydaddy starts a song and
stands up, forcing men to clap. I know he’s
not shy but I didn’t think he’s the type that
sings and traditionally dances in
ceremonies. At least he’s not bad at it,
otherwise I would’ve been embarrassed.
Mpatho gets up, just from the way he puts
his hands up I know he can’t do Zulu
dances to save his life. I’d be so
embarrassed if that was Sphakamiso, but
not his wife. Phume is hilarious, she’s
screaming at him; “Yes, go, go!” like he’s
doing anything serious.
Is Mkhuleko dodging? When is he
contributing? I know he doesn’t work but
I’m very sure that his brother gave him
something to contribute.
“Where is Mkhuleko?” someone asks
from the crowd. Everyone is waiting for
him. I heard he’s like Miyanda’s special
son, I expect him to go hard.
He stands up, rubbing his eyes. “Where
am I?” he asks the house.
I know someone who’s faking amnesia.
First of all he wasn’t even asleep, we were
served dessert not so long ago and he was
up, he even asked for more.
“I need to pee,” he says.
Sphakamiso blocks him and shoves him
back. They’re hilarious.
He finally empties his pockets and carefully
pulls out R50 from R100 notes.
“Beloved MaMthethwa,” he says raising the
note above Miyanda’s head. It’s the littlest
amount we’ve seen this night. Even the
Mcineka neighbors were contributing
R200s and R500s.
“I want you to go on vacation, take this
money and go spoil yourself.” It’s fuckin’
R50 for Christ’ sake. It can’t even get her to
Spur in town.
The whole house howls at him. But he’s
the child of the family, he doesn’t care.
Miyanda also doesn’t care, she’s laughing.
Now I regret giving away the whole R800
that Sphakamiso gave me.
-
-
-
My whole body aches, I should be leaving
today but I can’t drive, not when I’m this
exhausted. We came back in the morning,
I’ve been sleeping since.
I’m just waking up now because Zothani is
crying, his father is deeply asleep on the
floor. I don’t know when he came in, when
I came here he was outside with his
brother, they were braaing meat. I don’t
know how that celebration ended but he
smells of alcohol.
I change Zothani’s diaper and go to the
main house to make his bottle. He’s been
introduced to solids so he gets hungry. I
start by feeding him his Nestum cereal and
then wait for the bottle to cool down. At
least he’s not crying now, he’s a very good
baby when it suits him.

Sphakamiso’s phone keeps ringing, there’s

no way Zothani is going to fall asleep again
now. I’m irritated, I take the phone above
his head but instantly calm down when I
see his screen-saver. I don’t know how he
got my picture from yesterday with my
attire on, maybe from Phume’s Insta-
stories, she’s quite famous there.
But my smile disappears when the
persistent caller calls again. I answer to tell
him that Sphakamiso will call him back
when he’s awake.
But it’s a girl’s voice.
“Who is this?” I ask.
She drops the call.
I look at the text on the screen, I can’t see
the rest of it but it looks like she’s asking
Sphakamiso to answer her calls. The
number is not saved, my detective skills fall
short when I have to guess the unlock
password.
He’s waking up, there’s no way about it. I
wake him up until he opens his eyes and
acknowledges his surroundings.
“There’s a girl calling you,” I say.
“Huh?” He squints his eyes and sits up.
“There’s a girl who keeps calling you. I
asked who she is and she dropped the
call.” In my eyes he’s already guilty.
He takes the phone and looks at the text.
“I don’t know who this is,” he’s lying.
“Then call her back and put her on
loudspeaker.” I’m not going to let this slide.
I just got my act together for this
relationship to work, he can’t betray me.
“Is that necessary? I’m tired.”
“It is Phaka, I want to know who she is and
why she’s dropping the call when she hears
my voice,” I say.
“It could be the insurance people trying to
sell me their insurance.” He probably read
this line on the internet. It’s so out-dated.
I grab the phone from his hand since he’s
unlocked it. I go to his call-logs and call the
number back and put it on loudspeaker.
“Hello….hello,” the same girl answers.
Why is he quiet? I stare at him pointedly.
He clears his throat, “Hi.”
“Umh, this is Slee, we exchanged numbers
last night. Did you travel safely?”
Heh! My testimonies are being tested. Is
she the minister of travels and safety?
This one is scratching his head like his
head is colonized by mites.
“Answer, she wants to know if you traveled
safely,” I say.
He clears his throat again, bloody cheater.
“Yebo, thank you for checking up,” he
says, trying to keep this at a friendship
level.
“I might be coming to your town
tomorrow,” the bitch says.
“That’s nice…” He glances at me, I’m
fuming. “Umh, Slee. Do you mind deleting
this number? I’m kinda getting in trouble
with my girlfriend, she thinks something is
going on.”
“Oh sorry.” She drops the call instantly.
If Sphakamiso thinks this is going to save
him then he’s mistaken.
“So you were busy exchanging numbers
with girls?” I ask, putting Zothani down to
sleep on his stomach.
“It was just a game,” he says.
“A game of exchanging numbers. Did any
of your brothers who had their partners
there play it?” I want to know because
neither Mpatho nor Malibongwe would
disrespect their partners like that.
He can’t answer that. Idiot!
“Block and delete her number,” I say.
“Okay,” he runs his fingers on the screen
of the phone, blocking and deleting. He
also needs to block and delete the thing
telling him he can fool Nokwanda Zungu.
“Is that why you turned into
Hhash’elimhlophe there? You were trying
to impress Slee.” I’m so annoyed thinking
about it. Men are sneaky, how did he
exchange numbers with a girl while I was
present?
“You have every right to be angry, but I
promise you I had no intentions of starting
anything with any girl. I can’t even
remember how this Slee looked like, I
probably talked to her because I was the
only guy and she was the only girl that
wasn’t being asked out.”
Oh, wow! Such humility, right?
“Must I clap for you or clap you?”
He looks at me and releases a deep breath.
“You looked beautiful last night, I was
happy to show you to people.” If he thinks
compliments will soften me then he doesn’t
know how much I get complimented on
social media. Compliments mean nothing
to me right now.
“I wished MaVilakazi was alive to see it.
Thank you mawakhe for coming and giving
me some dignity. I can give you my phone
and you can have it over the night, or as
long as you want. Angigangi, I’m not doing
anything I shouldn’t be doing.”
“But you go around taking girls’ numbers
while I’m there with your son.” Emotions
are getting the better of me. I do cry, just
not everyday. I cry once for everything, if I
find the perfect excuse I let everything out.
“Nokwanda don’t cry, ayikho lento
oyicabangayo.” He lifts my chin, I turn my
face away and cry heavily.
My father is still mad at me for lying about
Salo’s character. I don’t know how to
convince him that I didn’t mean any harm.
I was actually trying to play Thule at her
own game, unfortunately it ended the way it
did. Her and Gumbi are fine, but me and
my father are not. Everytime we fight
there’s always a case of Thule involved.
I didn’t mean to disappoint him, he’s stood
by me through my lowest. I wish he can
understand and forgive me.
“Nokwanda please look at me.” He’s
breathing alcohol on my face.
“You smell alcohol,” I push him away. It
wasn’t a hard push, I just wanted to get him
away from my face and cry in peace, but he
falls back on his ass.
I panic when I see him falling. I didn’t
mean to push him like that. I rush to get
him up but he refuses and just sits the way
he fell.
“I’m so sorry,” I keep apologizing.
“It’s okay.” He flips on his back and lies on
the floor in the same position.
This is so awkward, how did things escalate
so fast? I’m not sure if he understands that
it wasn’t intentional, he tripped on his own,
or he’s mad at me.
CHAPTER 13
SPHAKAMISO

Nokwanda cried herself to sleep. It’s

dinner time, I tried waking her up but she
didn’t budge. Now I have everyone glaring
at me silently waiting for an explanation. I
don’t know how to explain it. I feel like she
has every right to be angry. But then again,
she’s being extra about it because I’m not
dating the girl, I didn’t even ask her out. I
can’t even remember how she looked like,
I was a bit tipsy and we had to sit together,
us the guys from the groom’s side and the
girls from Miranda’s side. Everyone was
having a conversation and she happened to
be alone next to me. I know village girls to
have pride and big egos, I didn’t think
she’d actually call me.
“What did you do to Zothani’s mother?”
Malibongwe asks. I’m not really on his
good books at the moment, he will use
anything against me. Nokwanda is no
longer the doctor’s daughter by the way, he
respects her now, she’s Maka Zothani.
“We had a little misunderstanding,” I say.
“She’s in university, how can she
misunderstand?” Nombuso always asks
questions out of her ass.
“She needs to come and eat, she’s been
sleeping since morning.” She gets up and
leaves the table. She’s going to get
Nokwanda, I wish her luck.
“Khuluma ndoda,” Malibongwe is not
letting this go.
“I exchange numbers with some girl last
night and she’s been calling me,” I say.
“Maka Zothani was there,” he says.
“I wasn’t trying to do anything, it was during
umvalelo. But she’s not understanding, she
thinks I wanted to cheat on her.”
“She was beautiful last night, she’s really
making efforts to adjust into our lifestyle
and traditions. She was even carrying fruits
on her head. And for once it looked like
you’ve found your diamond. They were a
beautiful combination, but you’re ruining
that because you want to go around
impregnating different girls without settling
down.”
It’s either he’s getting old or he’s not happy
in his own life because, how did such a
small misunderstanding turn into me not
wanting to settle down?
Nombuso comes in, Nokwanda is behind
her, I don’t know how Nombuso
convinced her. Her eyes are red and
swollen, I can’t even look at her, guilt just
cut into my chest.
Nombuso takes Zothani, she eats with him
on her lap. I don’t know why she’s not
saying anything. Is she mad at me or
Nokwanda?
“Maka Zothani, you and Maka Manzi
represented MaVilakazi so well last night.
She would’ve been very happy if she was
alive to witness it,” Malibongwe says.
Nokwanda forces a smile, “Thank you.”
We keep lying about MaVilakazi, I don’t
think she would’ve loved Nokwanda. I
mean, she didn’t like Miyanda, a whole
angel.
“We are also very happy that you’re here,
you like us as Zothani’s family,” he adds.
Nokwanda nods. I think she understands
how we are now, she’s been around for
some time. She knows that she’s welcome
at any time.
Nombuso’s silence doesn’t give me peace.
I’m curious to know what Nokwanda told
her and what is going through her mind.
Malibongwe is the first to leave the table. I
want Nokwanda and I to fix things before
we go to bed. The mood is not good for
Zothani, it’s not good for me.
“I’m going to warm his bathwater,” she says
getting up from the chair.
“Don’t worry, I will give him a bath,”
Nombuso stops her. “You can watch TV
and have coffee, it will help you with
fatigue.”
“Okay, thank you,” Nokwanda.
I don’t understand where this friendship
comes from.
“Can I also have a cup?” I ask as she turns
to go to the kitchen to make coffee.
They both look at me like I’m not well
upstairs. I’m just asking for a cup of coffee,
is that a crime?
“Go Nokwanda, Slee will make it for him,”
Nombuso says, Nokwanda walks away.
I can’t believe this is my own sister selling
me out. Now I have to explain the Slee
situation to her as well.
“You, men, are trash…except Mnelisi. I
don’t understand how you can ask for a
girl’s number while Nokwanda is there.”
Now I don’t know what to say. How can I
be crucified so much, I didn’t even ask the
girl out, yeses!

Nombuso wants us to sort things out, that’s

why she took Zothani to sleep with him. I
think she low-key likes us together and
she’s fallen in love with Nokwanda, just that
she won’t say it out loud.
Nokwanda is under the blanket, pretending
to be asleep. I take water and go bath in
Mkhuleko’s room because I don’t want to
wet the floors when someone is already
sleeping.
When I return she’s really asleep. I can’t
sleep knowing that we are not on good
terms and she’s leaving tomorrow morning.
“Nokwanda, the baby is crying.” It’s
childish of me to wake her up like this. But
it’s the quickest way to wake up a mother.
She opens her and looks around. I wrap
my arms around her body.
“I’m kidding, he’s with Nombuso. I just
wanted you to wake up so that we can talk.”
“You’re so annoying,” she rests her head
down and closes her eyes. I kiss her pursed
lips, she opens her eyes to give me a look.
“Let’s talk, please.” I squeeze her boob and
kiss her neck. She fully wakes up with a
yawn.
“Let’s fix things mawakhe, you’re leaving in
the morning, yesterday we didn’t spend any
time together. Please, let’s use this chance
to work things out. I’m sorry for what I did,
I will never make the same mistake again.”
“What if I didn’t catch you, would you
have deleted her number?” she asks.
“Yes, I wouldn’t have done anything to
jeopardize our relationship. You can check
my phone, from Whatsapp to Facebook,
I’m not doing anything you wouldn’t like.
What happened was a stupid mistake,
ngicela ungixolele.”
“Okay,” she says with a heavy sigh.
“Do you forgive me?” I ask, kissing her
neck. She likes soft neck kisses.
“Mmm, yeah. But don’t ever do something
like that again.” It’s good to know that she’s
possessive of her man. I’d be stupid to
repeat the same mistake twice.
It’s very warm between her thighs. I distract
her with a kiss while playing with her clit.
Her sex drive has dropped, I don’t know if
it’s normal after giving birth or it’s
something we both have to work on. I love
my Nokwanda who drove two towns to
come and ride me on a desk in the shop.
Now it takes time to even get her wet and
in the mood for sex.
“Mawakhe, please come on top today, I
miss you ngicela ungifenda,” I ask. It’s been
a while since she rode me. I miss that
freaky side of hers so much.
“I’m tired,” she says.
“But sthandwa sami you are always making
excuses these days. Awung’thandi yini?”
I’m getting worried, maybe the problem is
me, I’m no longer attractive to her.
“No, that’s not the case. Let’s plan another
day, I will do everything you want,” she
says.
It’s embarrassing that as young as we are,
now we have to make plans to have good
sex.
“So tonight we are just sleeping?” I’m hurt,
I can’t hide it. I’m horny but there’s
nothing I can do if she doesn’t want me.
“Let’s sleep, it’s late,” she says.
My dick is throbbing, how am I going to
fall asleep?

~~~
I dream of her sucking my dick, taking it all
the way down to her throat and gagging on
it. I haven’t had this much pleasure ever
since Zothani arrived. She plays with my
balls and works on my dick with her
tongue.
“Kumnandi mawakhe, I love you,” my
voice trembles in a whisper. I’m very close,
I’m feeling tickles all over my body. A loud
groan vibrates out of my chest, I open my
eyes to her head between my legs. This is
not a dream, she’s giving me a blowjob.
It’s morning, what a way to wake up.
“I’m cumming sthandwa sami,” I cry, she’s
doing me too much, I can’t handle it. I split
inside her mouth, she doesn’t move away.
She swallows and cleans my dick with her
tongue. My knees are weak, my legs are still
trembling.
“Good morning babe,” she comes up to
my face smiling. She’s a baddie.
“What are you doing to me?” I pull her
face and kiss her forehead.
“Just waking you up. Did you like it?”
“I loved it. Why do you live far away from
me?” I’m saddened by the fact that she’s
leaving today and I’m likely to see her after
two weeks.
“Because I have to study, love,” she says.
“But after you graduate you’re going to
work. When are we going to build a life
together?” I’m worried, we have different
plans for the future.
“Things will fall into place, as long as we
love each other.” She’s just being poetic,
things don’t automatically fall into place.
“I wish you can give me a straight answer.”
She raises her eyes to me, “Straight
answer?”
“Would you have a future with me here?
Do you ever picture yourself settling down
in a place like this?” I ask.
“I’d have a future with you, wherever you
are, as long as you don’t ask me to sacrifice
everything I want and dream of becoming.”
“That’s fair, ngiyabonga.” I pull her closer.
She’s still clothed, I really want to be inside
of her. “You really want to leave without
releasing the salt?” I ask.
“Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
CHAPTER 14
SPHAKAMISO

I’m at the Mhlongos, here to bring

MaNkosi her third grandson. Everytime I
come here it becomes a family reunion.
Aphelele is here with Aunt Teekay, as well
as Nondu with her little family.
Nombuso claims Zothani is a duplicate of
her, here they’re saying he has my father’s
forehead. Now I’m confused.
“Nokwanda no longer visits us,
useyahlonipha layikhaya,” MaNkosi says.
Nondu rolls her eyes laughing, “She just
hasn’t had time, Nokwanda doesn’t care.
I’m her sister-in-law but we still exchange
videos, our twerking competition videos.”
“What is twerking?” MaNkosi asks.
Nondu looks at me, her eyes widened. I
also want to know.
“Yeah, what is that? Show us,” I say.
“It’s a dance,” she says, laughing behind
her hands. Her mother really doesn’t
know, she looks lost.
“Show Ma,” I say.
“Sphakamiso, I’m older than you.” She’s
still delusional about the age thing. I no
longer argue with her, she can believe that
she’s older all she wants.
“Why can’t you show me? You love
dancing,” MaNkosi persuades.
Let me help her with some music. She gets
up, MaNkosi is curiously glued to her. She
moves her shoulders and sways her body
from side to side. What kind of twerking is
this? I’m choking with laughter.
Aunt Teekay, the suburb aunt, walks in and
furrows her brows.
“Look mntaka ma, the new dance that
these youngsters do now, twerking,”
MaNkosi says.
Aunt Teekay chuckles, “No, this is not
twerking. Who’s talking about twerking in
front of the kids?”
“It’s Nondumezulu, she enters twerking
competitions on Whatsapps” MaNkosi
says, but she’s now confused.
“Twerking is sinister dance moves that girls
who sell their bodies do to attract men,”
Aunt Teekay says.
“What???” MaNkosi almost drops
Zothani. If there was a shoe close by
Nondu would’ve caught some smoke.
“Does Nkalipho know that you’re doing
twerking on Whatsapps?” She’s fuming.
She always cares more about what her in-
laws think if Nondu acts out of character.
Nondu can’t even explain, she’s laughing
her ass off. Why is Aunt Teekay lying
though? I’m not happy about Nokwanda
making twerking videos but it has nothing
to do with selling bodies and attracting
men.
I’m sleeping over, Zothani gets restless
when the sun sets. He’s used to Nombuso,
Aunt Teekay has to step in. Once he’s
wrapped on her back he calms down and
sleeps. This is what Miyanda and I go
through everytime Nombuso goes over
Mapholoba’s house.
“I didn’t think he’s this big,” she says as we
put Zothani in bed. Aphelele is following
us, he loves his brother to death.
Now that this one is asleep, him and I can
catch up. I pick him up and go outside
where Nondu is sitting. Elders are now
indoors, Nkalipho is on his way to fetch
Nondu and their daughter.
“I have to start planning my wedding,
Nkalipho wants it to be sooner. Are you
going to walk me down the aisle?”
“Do you want me to?” I ask.
“Yeah, stand in for Mhlongo. When are
you getting married?” She’s a chatterbox.
“When I have money, I will marry
Nokwanda and move her to the village,
then we will have more kids.”
She laughs and almost chokes on the drink
she’s been sipping. It may sound far-
fetched for now but Nokwanda loves me. If
Malibongwe could stop Miyanda from
working, make her leave her family while
she’s the only child, to come and live with
us, what would be hard to me?
“You really love Nokwanda, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do.” I lie on my back, Aphelele
sits on my waist and plays with my phone.
“She’s a baddie…you love them like that,
neh?” she asks.
I laugh, “Not really, my ex wasn’t a baddie.
I actually went from someone who never
raised her voice at me and treated me like a
king, to someone who push me and talk to
me while she’s drunk. But that’s the beauty
of love, it doesn’t have terms and
conditions, the heart just wants what it
wants.”
“Nokwanda pushes you?” She looks at me
with a frown.
“Yeah, just once. She thought I was
cheating on her but we sorted it out.”
Bringing this up wasn’t even my intention,
I’m just going through the most.
“So after giving birth, did you experience
any changes that affected you and sbari?”
“What kind of changes?” she asks.
“Did you struggle to connect like you used
to and things like that?” I ask.
“No, we didn’t,” she says looking at me
with concern.
I’m not going to give out the details. But
Nokwanda is different and it worries me.
We have sex plans this coming
Wednesday. I’m embarrassed thinking
about it. We are so young to be going
through all of this.
“Maybe she needs time, our bodies go
through so much in the process of giving
birth. Keep communicating with her and
be patient, she will come around,” Nondu
tells me, she’s just comforting me.
-
-
-
NOKWANDA

Whenever I’m guilty of something I try to

impress my father with food. I volunteered
to cook supper and went to buy it. But the
table setting and cold drinks, that’s my
hardwork.
He doesn’t expect me to be home, he’s
surprised when he walks in.
“Hey baba, how was your day?” I ask.
“It was good,” he says with a little frown.
I follow him to his bedroom, he’s not
asking me why I’m home.
“I’ve decided what I want next year after
graduating,” I say.
“Mmmm.” He takes his shirt off, leaving
on a vest. It looks like he had a long day.
“Can we talk?” I ask, curling up on his bed.
“What is the matter?” He’s a busy body
nje, not even looking at me. “I have an
appointment with my barber, then I have to
go and check on the kids. Hurry up.”
“I just want to apologize about what I did.
I’ve also apologized to Salo and she
forgives me. I will never do it again.”
“You love that song, don’t you? Well, I’m
tired of listening to it. I can’t be saying one
thing to you every week- stay away from
your mother.”
“It’s not easy as you think. She’s still my
mother and I’ve been trying very hard to
keep a distance. I don’t even know how I
ended up caught up in her lie.”
“When she asked you to lie and say your
mother died, the first thing you should’ve
done was to tell me, not to go with the lie
and ruin our characters while at it.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” I say for the
hundredth time.
“I don’t care if it’s for a prize or marriage,
never go around calling yourself an orphan.
Come here.” He opens his arms.
Once I get a hug it’s done, he’s forgiven me
again. I hope my son doesn’t turn out like
me, I hate headache.
“I want to talk about something else too,
but we’ll talk when you have time. Or I will
just ring my therapist.”
“Do you want to talk to me about it or the
therapist?” he asks.
“You.” I trust him more than anyone and
there’s nothing I can’t talk to him about.
“Okay, let me take a shower and then we
will have supper together, I will cancel my
plans and go to the kids later,” he says.
I don’t know how I’m going to start having
this conversation with him. But I feel like
it’s necessary and as someone in his
profession he might be helpful.
He comes and joins me in his casual wear.
I’m starting to notice that his beard is
greying as well. Salo is in love with a sugar
daddy.
“How are you?” he asks.
“I’m good, just bothered by little things.”
“You know you can talk to me about
anything. I will advise where I can and give
you the resources you need if it’s beyond
my hands.” He’s not lying, if there’s one
thing he excels in, it’s being my father.
“I feel like I’m holding some resentment
towards Wise and it’s affecting my
relationship with Sphakamiso. He came to
apologize the other day and I kicked him
out,” I tell him.
“I asked you to deal with this and not just
push it to the side like it didn’t happen. It’s
going to affect you, he was someone very
close to you and he violated you, I don’t
care if he was drunk too, the fact that he
remembered means he knew what he was
doing.”
“So what must I do? Go and talk to him,
release all my frustrations?” I ask.
“Is that what you think you need to do?”
“I don’t know, I was hoping I’d never had
to talk to him again in my life. But
Sphakamiso is complaining, he feels like I
no longer love him because the physical
connection is dying.”
“You can be angry as long as you want,
don’t talk to him if you’re not ready. But
you have to tell Sphakamiso what
happened, it will shed some weight off your
shoulders. I think he will be more
understanding and patient too.”
“I will try that, thank you for listening.” I
get up and hug him. I didn’t tell
Sphakamiso because Wise is that friend he
never liked and I was always with Wise to
rub him the wrong way. This makes me
look stupid more than anything.
“Where did you buy this chicken?” he
asks, tearing his fourth wing.
“I cooked, what do you mean?”
He laughs, “As if I didn’t give birth to you.
I never thought you’d go and date in the
middle of nowhere, where people share
water with cows.”
“Life is not that hard, they have a tap in the
yard,” I say.
“So you go outside to drink water?”
“No, they keep drinking water in the
buckets.” It’s not complicated as it sounds,
I swear.
“They bath in tubs, I guess.”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“So you don’t complain when Sphakamiso
makes you bath in a tub and drives you in
that 2004 Tazz of his. But you throw a fit if
I had a guest that used your bathroom and
give you my nice hatchback Yaris from
Toyota.” He’s comparing himself to
someone who gives me orgasms.
“All animals are equal in a farm,” I say.
“Right? And some are more equal than
others.” He completes it for me.
I wink at him, he knows how it goes. He
just shakes his head.
CHAPTER 15
SPHAKAMISO

I got a call from usbari, Nkalipho, telling

me to expect an important call around
midday. I was anxious all morning
wondering who did he give our number to
because he also called our landline, not my
personal phone. But I already had a clue
that it might be business related. When I
saw him over the weekend he said he told a
few people about my business.
But I didn’t expect a well-known car
insurance company to be calling me. I just
spoke to the executive assistant of
Transcore asking if I’d be interested in
meeting with the CEO of the company to
discuss possible working alliance with
Unified. I agreed to a meeting that is
scheduled for Thursday, 13:45.
I’ve been pinching myself, is this real? I’ve
been praying for a big breakthrough but
this is not even something I ever thought
about.

Malibongwe walks in, I called him and told

him to come see me immediately. He’s in
the transport business and getting deeply
involved in it.
“Who died?” he asks.
“Sit, you will die when you hear this.”
He frowns, “Hhayi-bo, manje
usukhulumisa okwezifebe? You talk like a
bitch now? Just say what’s going on, I’m not
going to die and leave Miyanda.”
I think I’ve been around Nondu a lot lately,
she says things like this, she exaggerates
everything.
“Transcore, the car insurance company,
wants to have an alliance with us.” I drop
the bomb. Oh fuck, what’s wrong with me.
I tell him, there’s no bomb.
“They want us to service their clients’
cars?” He’s shocked.
“Yes. Crazy shit bafo! That will take us
straight to a 100,” I say.
“And we’d have to hire more people.” He
grabs a chair and sits. I did tell him to sit
down for this.
“That’s without a doubt, but more money
will be coming in so that’s no big deal. I will
also give myself a raise if I walk out of that
meeting with a contract.”
“That’s more nephews and nieces for us,”
he says, laughing.
I’m not planning on having babies, not that
I ever plan to have them, but I actually
want to have my life in order. Nokwanda is
graduating this coming year, she will be
done with her studies. It’s either I lose her
to the world or secure my place in her life.
“Do I have to come to the meeting as
well?” he asks.
“Noooo!” He can’t, the CEO is white, I
won’t have time to translate to him.
“Alright, I will burn impepho and ask the
ancestors to shine the light on you,” he
says.
Now that’s his important, I trust him with
that one. I think we can celebrate with a
drink, a flavored soft drink because I still
have tons of work to do.
-
-
-
Mpatho is in charge of the Vilakazi issues
because we belong to the Mcinekas fully,
that includes me with my different DNA. I
think it’s also the reason why he’s the one
who took the responsibility to look after
Mkhuleko because Mkhuleko will serve
the Vilakazi ancestor.
There’s umcimbi wokushweleza that
happened today, unfortunately I couldn’t
be there because of work. Maybe now that
they’ve done it Mkhuleko’s gift will be
revived. Even if his gift is no longer helpful
like it would’ve been if he completed his
journey and didn’t bring any blood on his
hands, but if he’s okay, mentally and
spiritually, we will all be happy.

I make a stop at Gateway and do a little

goody shopping before heading to
Nokwanda’s flat. I think we are good, she
calls everyday to ask about Zothani, I also
call her to talk about us. It’s definitely some
internal changes she’s dealing with, nothing
much. Her body still looks the same to me
except for a few strips of stretch marks on
her butt, which isn’t something that can
break her spirit because she gained a few
kilos during the pregnancy.
She opens wearing a silky gown. She’s back
at wearing long weaves again. Today’s one
looks like a horse’s tail tied on top of her
head, she’s beautiful though.
“I thought you’re no longer coming,” she
says.
“I don’t break promises.” I put everything
on the counter and pull her to get my kiss.
She definitely drank something alcoholic.
“You look beautiful. How are you?” I ask.
“I’m okay, I was just bored before you
came,” she says.
I wonder what happened to her many
friends. Nokwanda had a lot of friends that
I didn’t like, even girl friends, who were
always with her, eating out and taking
pictures.
“I’m drinking the Chocolate Block, do you
want a glass?” she asks.
“No, thanks.” I’m not comfortable with her
consuming alcohol but I don’t want to
make too many rules, she’s still in charge of
her own life.
“I’m not drunk,” she says, chuckling.
I didn’t say anything but I guess my face
said it all. We sit on the couch, she leans
on my shoulder with a glass of wine in her
hand, she keeps sipping it.
There’s something she’s watching, it
doesn’t look interesting to me.
“That’s Kanye,” she points at one man.
“Mmmm.” I don’t know who is Kanye and
why we are watching her and these perfect-
body women.
“When are you going to give me money?
Money for me, to spend on my things, not
on Zothani,” she asks.
I’m not sure where this is coming from.
Maybe that’s what the show we are
watching is about; asking for money.
“How much do you need?” I ask.
“I don’t ‘need’ money. I just want to know
why you never give me any.” She’s not even
stammering, she’s not mincing her words.
“I’m usually in a tight spot,” I say, I don’t
know what would be the perfect excuse.
“But you can surprise me with an EFT
once a month, I’m your girl. On Facebook
they say men are not stingy, they choose
who to spend on.”
“I don’t know about Facebook
independent analysts but that’s not the case
with me. And the situation might change
very soon, I might be able to live the life
that I want, take care of my sons and spoil
you,” I say.
“Did you get a new job?”
“I might get a deal with the car insurance
company,” I say.
“I will pray for you to get it.” She downs the
whole glass and puts it away. I bet God will
listen to her prayers.
She turns and kisses me. I kiss her back
and gently push her away. I look at her
eyes, she doesn’t look okay.
“Why are you drinking?” I ask.
“I love this wine, it’s my favourite. Do you
want me to stop drinking?” she asks.
Obviously, I want her to stop.
“No, don’t stop, as long as you’re
responsible,” I say out of modesty.
She chuckles and rests her head on my
chest, putting her knees up.
“This is actually the first time I’m drinking
ever since…ever since I gave birth.” It
comes out heavy, like she’s holding back
some pain.
“I’m proud of you,” I tell her. I really am,
she’s grown so much.
“I wish I can be proud of myself too.” She
inhales a deep breath and straightens her
legs. “I know you’ll probably say you told
me so, but there’s something I didn’t tell
you.”
I keep quiet, I’m wondering if it’s bad or
good news. I can’t handle more bad news
in this relationship.
“Before you arrived for the DNA reveal I
got this text from Wise, my so-called
friend.” She hands me her phone to read
it. Yes, over a year ago, but my chest gets
heavy when I read what it says.
“That’s why I ran away, I didn’t know how
I was going to look at you if Zothani turned
out to be my best friend’s baby.”
“Was it the first time it happened?” I’m
trying to suppress the amount of fury that
I’m feeling but my hands are trembling.
“Yes,” she says, raising her eyes at me. “I
wasn’t even aware it had happened. I found
out through this text.”
“How, Nokwanda?” I’m not buying this.
“I was drunk, it was before you came to get
me from the club. Strangely I still can’t
remember it happening. Did you feel
anything strange, we had sex the next
morning?”
“Ayy, I don’t know.” This is not something
I ever thought I’d answer. She’s asking me
if I felt that someone else had been inside
her hours before me. I feel stupid.
“I trusted him, we’ve been friends for
years. His family knows me, my father also
knows him. The thought of someone
having sex with me while I was intoxicated
and had no control over my body disgusts
me. Everytime I think about it I feel dirty.”
She takes a deep breath and holds my
hand, entwining her fingers on mine.
“Obviously there was no condom. I’m
wondering if he stripped my clothes off or
he…just pulled my clothes and had his way
with me. Was I bended over or he had me
down on my back, looking at my face the
whole time?”
This is deep, she’s hurt. My jealousy
feelings are nothing compared to what she’s
been going through. I didn’t know, if I did I
wouldn’t have given her a hard time.
“I’m sorry sthandwa sami.” I wrap my arms
around her. I want her to cry, if that’s what
she needs.
“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I just want
you to know that sometimes I have these
thoughts and they affect the way my body
responds to things. I still love you, nothing
has changed, I just need to work on this
and we will be good again.”
Fuck! I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on
her about sex, this is why we are having a
sex date today. I didn’t know this is what
she was going through.
“There’s no pressure, I’m sorry I’ve been
complaining, I didn’t know better. You can
take as much time as you need, I’m going
to zip my pants and wait,” I say.
“What if you go to Butterworth?” Now
she’s being stupid like Malibongwe. Am I
going to make similar mistakes for the rest
of my life?
She looks at my face and laughs. “I’m
kidding. Let me get you something to eat.
Thanks for listening and understanding.”
She goes to her mini kitchen, I lie back on
the couch and release a long, heavy sigh. I
know I will put my hands on Wise if we
ever bump into each other again. I hope
he’s a praying a man and God is by his
side, because only He can save him.
CHAPTER 16
NOKWANDA

I met with my therapist, I want to work on

myself and move on from the whole thing.
I’m having lunch with Thule and Gumbi.
Probably the worst decision anyone can
take after being in therapy. My mom can
put me back in depression with just two
words.
She’s glowing, I think she’s more sober
these days with Gumbi around. I hug her
and take a seat, she’s ordered a milkshake
for me. I would’ve loved a glass of wine,
I’m not 16 years old.
“You have a nice car,” says Gumbi.
“It’s not mine, baba owns it, but thank
you.” It’s so weird, I swear he thinks I have
multiple personality disorder.
“Your mother owes you an apology.” He
looks at her, “Right dali?”
Thule apologizing? I need to capture this.
“Yes, I owe you an apology my baby,” she
says.
“Huh?” I can’t believe it, she’s getting out
of character.
“It was wrong of me to deny you and make
you lie for the sake of my relationship. No
man should ever make me feel ashamed
for creating a beautiful human being like
you.”
Scripted!
This is so fuckin’ scripted. Someone
should charge her for copyright
infringement.
“I want you to know that I’m proud of you,
I’m proud of being your mom. And if
Gumbi loves me, he’s going to accept you.”
Gumbi is nodding at everything she’s
saying. I think he really loves her even
though she’s not everything he wanted.
“And I love you, dali,” he says.
They’re kissing. Awwwnnnn!
“Stop it you two!” I say with a fake smile.
“So Gumbi, what do you do for a living?”
“I’m a Chief Director working for the
provincial government,” he says, Thule is
smiling like it’s her accolades being talked
about.
“Do you give tenders?” I ask.
He laughs, “Not necessarily. You’re such a
lovely girl.”
Not many people say that.
“Thank you. Why don’t you like kids?” I
have a lot of questions for him.
“I like kids, I just have enough of them.
And I don’t like taking another man’s
babymama.”
But you took my dad’s, duh.
“How many kids do you have?”
“Six,” he says.
I almost choke on the milkshake. That’s a
whole pre-school.
“3 from my previous marriage and 4 from
my current marriage,” he says.
I look at Thule. She’s still smiling. This
man is married!
“Thule, you’re a sidechick!” I thought I’d
seen it all, now my mother is
umakhwapheni.
“Look at this diamond again baby.” She
shows me the ring. I forgot about the
proposal.
“I’m a second-wife, not a sidechick. But
your dad was Salo’s roll-on.” She’s lying, he
only dated Salo after Bab’ Zothani died.
“That’s not true, don’t ever say that again.”
“He was, he just waited for his brother to
die and then made it public. He caused
that car accident.”
Can Gumbi stop his side-chick? I know she
also gave birth to me but my dad over
everything, bitch.
“Those are serious accusations, as his
family we are still healing from his death.
Don’t poke fun at our wounds,” I’m so
pissed and done with this stupid lunch.
“Dali, can’t you see you’re getting her
upset?” Gumbi tries to get me to sit down
but I’m done. I shouldn’t have come here.
“Your mother and I are getting married
and we want you to be present on the day.”
I stop with my purse under my arm. Did he
say they’re getting married?
“When did you pay lobola?” I ask.
Thule rolls her eyes, “Lobola is outdated. I
don’t want him to waste money, he has 6
kids and now 2 wives to feed. We will sign
and have lunch to celebrate.”
I look at Gumbi, he’s more sane than her.
I’m hoping he’s going to say this is not true.
“I wanted to pay lobola but what your
mother is saying makes perfect sense,
especially because I have to buy her a
house as my wife so that we can have our
own home as well, kwamamncane.”
What did Thule do to this man? It can’t be
that he’s saying this from his own thoughts.
He’s a traditional man, he even has
isphandla around his wrist. Why would he,
now all of a sudden, think culture wastes
money?
“Does your wife know?” I ask.
“Yes, she loves your mother as much as I
do. If anything happens to her your mother
will be the one to look after our children.”
I can’t help it, I laugh my ass off. I’m just
one child and Thule couldn’t look after
me. Half of my life I was raised by my
grandparents. And here he is thinking she
will look after 6 children.
Let me leave them to their fantasy. To help
myself stay out of trouble I won’t attend
their wedding lunch and I won’t put myself
in a position to be called a witness of their
marriage.
-
-
-
I hung out with my friends, female friends,
all day. Wise made me block every male
friend that I had. Today was good, I’m in
good spirits. I spoke to baba, he’s coming
tomorrow to help me do my monthly
shopping. I usually go with friends but this
time around I want to go with him.
Thule hasn’t apologized for saying those
things about him. They hate each other, it
gets worse as I grow. If God turned back
the clock and everyone on earth had a
chance to restart their lives I’m afraid I
wouldn’t exist, those two wouldn’t even
look at each other’s direction.

My phone rings. It’s my son’s father. I

spoke to Nombuso not so long ago and he
wasn’t home yet.
“Stranger,” I answer.
We haven’t spoken since morning.
“Mawakhe, how are you?”
“I’m good, just missing you.”
“I miss you too. I will see you tomorrow
after work, I’m fetching you.”
He’s not asking but telling me.
“Without my consent? Who do you think
you are?” I ask, jokingly.
“I’m the father of your child, the Unified
manager and automachanic and Transcore
partner.”
Fuck, I forgot.
“You got the deal?” I’m jumping up and
down like a kid.
“I did sthandwa sami,” he says.
“Oh my word, congratulations! I hope you
gave those smart genes to Zothani.”
“And Aphelele,” he says.
Damn, I forget that I signed up to the
stepmothership.
“Things will get better from now onwards,
at long last God’s light is shining upon me.
You will be mine,” he says.
Indeed God’s light is shining upon him.
But what does he mean I will be his? It
sounds like a romantic threat, if there’s
such.
CHAPTER 17
SPHAKAMISO

I don’t think I’m going to study, that

opportunity already came and passed me
by. My job now is to make sure that I
secure my kids’ future so that they can
study and reach their dreams, something I
couldn’t do. I cannot bring Aphelele back,
unless if he wants to come and stay with me
again. For now he’s still happy with Aunt
Teekay, she’s the best grandmother on
earth. Malum’ Khulekani is there too, he’s
the grandfather figure.
It feels like everything I went through was
because God was preparing me for greater
achievements. Even Nokwanda, she came
into my life to forcefully drag me out of
depression. I’m alive again- I love, I laugh,
all because of her.
Getting the Transcore deal has earned me
Malibongwe’s respect. He know that I’m
the only one who could’ve pulled this off.
Mpatho sent his congratulations as well.
Mkhuleko, the Jacuzzi kid, said he’s
coming over. Maybe he thinks partnership
means immediate millions. He will be
surprised because Nombuso is boiling
sugar means. There’s no cinema room
here, no Jacuzzi.
“Congratulations, shame,” Nombuso says.
“Thank you, my sister.” I’m a happy man, I
even have Zothani wrapped on my back
like a woman. Nombuso made him such an
annoying baby, he only sleep once he’s on
someone’s back.
“I’m still waiting for my payment for this
month. Next month I need a raise, R700.”
So she’s working, she’s employed by me
and I’m employed by Malibongwe.
“We haven’t started making the money
from the partnership deal. I will withdraw
your money tomorrow,” I say.
“No problem. You guys need to give me
money to buy vegetables and wheat flour.
Zothani’s nappies are almost finished.”
Being a man is hard, I won’t lie. I don’t
remember ever having money in my bank
account staying untouched for more than
two weeks.
“Okay,” I say and fill a glass of water and
gulp it down.
“I miss Miyanda now. Has Malibongwe
said anything about her coming back
home?”
“She’s coming back tomorrow.”
“I have to cook her spinach,” she says.
My sister is a good person with a bad
character. I’m glad Miyanda understands
her now, maybe Phume as well. Hopefully
one day Nokwanda will understand her
too.
-
-
-
Mkhuleko arrives, he’s happy more than
me. Even Ruby gets a cuddle today. He’s
wearing colorful yarns around his neck and
some beads on his wrists. Now he looks
like the old Mkhuleko.
“I’m here to celebrate with you guys,” he
says as we make our way in.
Malibongwe already has his plate of beans
and phuthu on his lap.
“Bhuti,” Mkhuleko shakes his hand and
hugs Nombuso.
“Where is Bhut’ Zothani?” he asks.
“He’s sleeping, but you will see him waking
up and crawling in no time,” Nombuso
says.
“Oh hhayi, kuhle-ke.” He doesn’t sit, I
don’t know what he thinks is going to
happen.
“Let me dish for you,” Nombuso stands
up. But Mkhuleko confidently tells her to
sit down.
“I will wait for the braai,” he says.
“What braai?” We are all confused.
Is it happening at our neighbor’s house?
“Kanti? You’re all posting Whatsapp
stories celebrating while eating sad beans
and uphuthu?” Now he’s coming for
Nombuso’s cooking skills and that’s a
dangerous path to take.
“It’s your life that is sad. Must I dish for
you or you’re not hungry? I’ve been on my
feet all day, I don’t have time.”
“I will eat bread,” Mkhuleko.
He’s coming with tendencies from the
suburbs, forgetting that this is a village.
“Bread is for breakfast,” Nombuso tells
him and goes to the kitchen. She comes
back with a mountain of uphuthu on a
plate and beans covering it.
I’m sure Mkhuleko regrets leaving the
comfort of the double-storey now. But this
is where he comes from, he mustn’t forget.
He complains until he finishes the whole
plate. Nombuso is not a bad cook, even
with a few ingredients she still makes food
tastes delicious.
“Since you’re all here…I have some good
news to share,” she says.
This day keeps getting better.
We are looking at her, patiently waiting to
raise our glasses and toast to the good life.
“I’m pregnant,” she says.
We wouldn’t be happy for something like
this. When it happens to your sister it feels
like a tragedy. But with everything she’s
been through, pregnancy is a prayer
answered.
“Yinkunzi yombhemu uMapholoba!”
Mkhuleko hugs her first. He’s definitely
getting ahead of himself. Yes, we are
happy, but there’s no need to applaud
Mapholoba’s fucking skills, this is our
sister.
“Congratulations mafungwase wakithi,”
Malibongwe says with a happy smile.
“You deserve this, congratulations.” I hug
her too. By the time she gives birth Zothani
will be grown, I’m happy for her, and for
us. I hope it’s a girl, we need a little girl in
this family.
-
-
-

Malibongwe used to bring a goodie shop

into his rondavel back when Miyanda was
still a girlfriend. That’s how she got close to
Yoli, she was the aunt that provided sweets
and chips from the cupboard. I personally
don’t know what Nokwanda likes, except
wine which I will never buy for her, so I
bought everything I thought girls love to
eat. I want us to have a good time.
Miyanda is back, she will be more
comfortable being than other days.
She’s wearing a dress, it’s just for today
because I fetched her. I don’t think she will
ever stop ‘forgetting’ that she’s not allowed
to wear pants at the Mcinekas.
When we get home Miyanda sees her and
kidnaps her, all in the name of ‘you have to
see pictures of the ceremony’. I’ve lost her.
Malibongwe laughs when I join him on the
couch, Mnqobi and Zothani are playing on
the carpet. Now that Mnqobi is back,
Zothani will be less handful.
“Don’t worry, you will have her at night,”
he says. It’s so easy for him to say, he’s had
Miyanda living with him for two years.
I only get an opportunity twice a month.
“They have to be sisters, Nombuso is really
going to leave us, Mapholoba means
business. I spoke to him this morning, he
wants to bring what was left and get incwadi
yezibizo,” he says.
“I need to figure out how the hell am I
going to take Manzini’s daughter, a trust-
fund baby that lives with a maid, and turn
her into a village wife.”
“If you can get her to wear a dress instead
of leggings and attempt to cook for us, then
you only need to press the few last buttons
and she will be yours.”
He’s right, Nokwanda is not hard as she
looks. And we love each other, it’s not like
I will stop her from achieving her dreams.
There are people in this village who are
working their dream jobs, Nokwanda has a
car, I’m also going to get one.
We’ve already been separated. Mkhuleko
is not here, Nombuso will get married
again and leave, I won’t leave Malibongwe
alone here. I can build my own house, but
not far away from him. I also think that’s
what he expects from me.

Sis’ Nombuso is going somewhere.

Whenever she’s going to Mapholoba she
never tells us anything, she only talks to
Miyanda. Malibongwe and I only know
when we see her going up and down in the
house with a comb inserted in her hair.
She comes out of the room with her
overnight bag.
“I will see you tomorrow guys, don’t forget
to bring in the mats outside,” she kisses
both Mnqobi and Zothani and heads to the
door.
Zothani cries. Their relationship is very
possessive and toxic. She comes back and
picks him up, he stares at her with tears in
his eyes. She sits down, pretending like
she’s no longer going anywhere.
I fetch his bottle from the kitchen and take
him. I have to disappear with him for
Nombuso to be able to leave in peace.
Does this boy even realize that his mother
is the one that wear weaves and high-heels?
CHAPTER 1
NOKWANDA

I have come here so many times and

Sphakamiso has never been this gift-giving.
He bought snacks, a lot of them. I shared a
packet of Lays with Mnqobi, that one loves
finer things in life. He only returned to his
mother after finishing three cookies and a
cup of yogurt.
Zothani takes time falling asleep but he’s
no longer crying like he’s been crying all
evening after Nombuso left. He’s very
attached to her. I hear she’s pregnant, he
better get ready to share.
Sphakamiso comes in with a bucket of
fresh water. He kisses his sleeping son and
takes one blanket and lays it on top of the
mat on the floor.
“Don’t put my son on the floor,” I say.
He chuckles, “I don’t want him to fall. I’m
just being a caring.”
Caring dad why are you coming to me? He
takes off his shirt and leans over me. He’s
smiling, he looks so happy and free, even
in his eyes.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” he says
giving me neck tickles with his lips, and
then a kiss.
“Really?” I was catching up with Miyanda,
she’s busy with her wedding plans.
“Let me show you.” He pulls my hand and
tucks it between his legs. He’s hard, I pull
my hand away and laugh.
He kisses my neck and breathes down on
my neck warmly. “Uright?”
“I’m good,” I nod and wrap my hand
around him. I’ve worked on the things that
bothered me, I got rid of those thoughts.
Nobody can have power over my body and
my thoughts.
He kisses me, deeply. Then we get naked,
ready to play. Zothani is sleeping peacefully
on the blanket on the mat.
Sphakamiso’s energy is unmatched today.
He’s consistent with his deep strokes,
pulling my legs over his shoulders and
digging me out.
“Babe, yoooh!” I have to keep my voice
low. He’s not making love to me, this is
wild fucking.
I love every bit of it, he’s a beast. He puts
down my legs and stick his face between
my thighs. His tongue plays on my clit. My
body starts vibrating.
“Yes baby!” I press his face on my mound,
juices flow down on him, I don’t care this
feels so good.
He re-inserts himself, I’m soaking wet. He
pounds me a few times before groaning
deeply and releasing warm cum inside me.
He pulls out and kisses my lips. Then he
gets off the bed, I turn to lie on the side
and feel him grabbing my ankles.
“Uyangirobha babe. Come this way.” He’s
pulling me down until my feet reach the
floor.
I lie on mu stomach, my behind facing
him. He spanks me a few times and then
rubs his dick between my crack until it’s
hard again. Before I know it he’s pounding
me from behind.

He fucks me until I feel like his Lays are

going to come out of my mouth.
Sphakamiso has never done this. Is it
because he bought me Lays? I don’t
understand.
“Phaka!” my voice is dry and cracky.
“Yes babe?”
“Please finish.”
He repositions his legs; one on the floor
and one on top of the bed. This is it, I’m
going to wake up tomorrow with a
deformed vagina.
I’m squeezing the sheets, crying out his
name and begging him to finish. When he
finally cums my ass is on fire. I can’t even
wipe with a towel, I need a whole bath. I
have my cum and his sperms flowing down
my thighs.
“I love you,” he says, out of breath, and lies
flat on the bed. A minute later he’s snoring.
I can’t even walk properly. I need to
Google the new price of Lays. I didn’t
know these were going to be the
consequences of chowing Lays.
-
-
-
I wake up in the morning to his hands all
over me. I turn to face him and caress his
chest. He’s already breathing horny.
“Morning sthandwa sami,” he says.
“Hey, good morning. How did you sleep?”
“I slept like a baby. I’m sorry I didn’t help
you bring Zothani back to bed,” he says.
“You were already snoring.” I kiss his chest
and put my hand on his dick. He woke up
hard, I’d rather have him in my mouth
than my cookie.
I give him a handjob, his eyes are locked
on mine, I can see when he’s getting more
pleasure. I go down on him and blow him
until he cums. Remind me to never eat a
man’s Lays again without preparing myself.
My clit was misplaced last night.
“I love you,” he says, cuddling me.
“I love you too. You’re so energetic, what
happened?” I ask.
“It’s love, I don’t know how I can express it
deeply as I feel it.” He’s just being
charming and it’s working because I’m
blushing.
“All I’ve been thinking about is what can I
do to have you close to me everyday. Two
weeks always feels like a long time.”
“But we see each other whenever we want.”
“I know but the distance still affects me. I
know I can express my love more if you
were close to me.” He takes my hand and
puts it on the left side of his chest. “This is
where you live,” he says.
If I was chocolate I would’ve melted.
“And this should be your home,” he says
pointing around. “God answered my
prayers, now I’m going to have my future
planned out like other men. In two years I
will have you, right?”
I nod, “Yes.”
“Thank you.” He kisses me on the
forehead, his eyes filled with gratitude.
I would’ve been one of those black
ancestors who got on the boat back in the
days. I just said yes, to what I don’t know.

****The End*****