Chapter I

INTRODUCTION

Background of the Study

Being a parent is a challenging yet rewarding role that comes with

various expectations and responsibilities. One of these responsibilities is

providing support and guidance to their children, particularly when it comes to

issues concerning sexuality and gender. For fathers with gay child, this

responsibility can be particularly difficult, as they may face societal and

cultural pressures that dictate traditional gender roles and norms. In the past

decades, significant progress has been made to create awareness and

reduce the stigma towards the LGBTQIA+++ community (Angelo, P. J., &

Bocci, D. 2021). However, coming out as gay or having a gay child can still be

challenging for some families, especially for fathers. Coming out is a process

where a person or an individual discloses their gender identity or sexual

orientation with others. The disclosure can be met with positive, negative, or

delayed/neutral reactions from other people. For some, it might be quick and

simple, while for others, it might take longer and be harder. Coming out

process for the adolescents involves acceptance and support for them to feel

secure and trust. (Mills-Koonce WR, Rehder PD, McCurdy AL, 2018).

When a child discloses their sexual or gender identity to a parent

during adolescence, it can result in a negative or positive reaction from a

parent (MillsKoonce WR, Rehder PD, McCurdy AL, 2018). Most of the gay

teenagers choose not to reveal their sexual or gender identity to their family

due to the expectations of the family and because they are afraid of the

1
1
reaction of their parents. Parents reaction to their children same sex attraction

or “coming out” is considered as risky for their child because it may result a

gap between the relationship of the parents and the children especially, to the

fathers. (Katz-Wise SL, Rosario M, Tsappis M. 2016). The literature suggests

that fathers may experience a range of emotions when their child comes out

as gay, including shock, disappointment, fear, and confusion. These emotions

may stem from societal and cultural norms that equate heterosexuality with

masculinity, leading some fathers to question their own masculinity or the

expectations they had for their child’s future. Some fathers may accept and

support their son’s sexual orientation, while others may struggle to accept it.

Moreover, some fathers may also face stigma and discrimination for having a

gay child, which can further complicate their experiences.

Despite the importance of understanding fathers’ experiences in

supporting their gay children, there is a gap in the literature on this topic,

particularly when it comes to fathers of gay children. By exploring the

experiences of fathers with gay children, this study aims to shed light on the

unique challenges and opportunities that fathers face in supporting their gay

child.

This research will not only contribute to the existing literature on

LGBTQIA+++ experiences but also inform interventions and support systems

that can better serve fathers and their LGBTQIA+++ children. While research

has extensively explored the experiences of individuals who identify as

lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ), less attention has been

paid to the experiences of their families, particularly fathers. The researchers

2
2
came up with this study to explore and understand the experiences of fathers

who have a gay child and how this affects their relationship with their child.

Thus, this study will be conducted.

Statement of the Problem

This study aims to explore the experiences of fathers who have a gay

child and to understand how they navigate their relationship with their child.

Specially,

this study sought to ask the following questions:

1. How did they react upon knowing that their son is gay?

2. What are the challenges faced by fathers with gay children in terms of.

2.1. Social stigma

2.2. Discrimination

3. What are the beliefs held by fathers with gay children regarding

homosexuality, and how do these beliefs shape their perspectives,

attitudes, and behaviors towards their children?

4. What strategies do the participants use to cope with potential social

stigma or discrimination directed towards their gay children?

3
3
Conceptual Framework of the Study

This figure shows the independent and dependent variable of the

study.

Independent Dependent

Fathers’ beliefs, and Perspective, attitudes, and

experiences related
. to behaviors of fathers towards
.
homosexuality and their gay their gay child
child

Figure1: Conceptual Frameworks

This study aims to examine the relationships between these

independent and dependent variables. It will explore the fathers’ beliefs and

experiences related to homosexuality and their gay child and how this affects

the perspective, attitude, and behaviors of fathers toward their gay child

Significance of the Study

4
4
 The importance of this study is to highlight one’s perspective especially

the point of view of the father having a gay child.

This study is considered to benefit the following:

Researchers. The result of the study will aim to help the researchers to

understand the experiences of fathers with gay child. This

understanding can help to break down stereotypes and biases about

gay men and their families and promote greater acceptance and

tolerance of diversity.

Parents. The result of this study will help the parents understand, accept, and

lessen discrimination and feelings of shame or guilt.

Fathers of gay children. The study can provide valuable insights and

information for fathers who may be struggling to come to terms with

their children’s sexuality. The findings of the study can help fathers

better understand the experiences of other fathers in similar situations

and provide guidance on how to navigate their relationship with their

gay child.

Gay Children. The study can also benefit gay children by shedding light on

the experiences of fathers with gay children. The findings of the study

can help gay children understand the challenges their fathers may be

facing and provide insight into how they can communicate and build

stronger relationships with their fathers.

Mental Health Professionals. Mental health professionals who work with

families and individuals struggling with issues related to sexuality and

identity can also benefit from the study. The findings can help mental

5
5
 health professionals better understand the experiences of fathers with

gay children and develop more effective treatment strategies.

Society at large. The study can also have broader societal implications by

raising awareness and promoting acceptance of LGBTQIA+++

individuals and their families. By highlighting the experiences of fathers

with gay children, the study can help challenge harmful stereotypes

and stigmas surrounding homosexuality and promote understanding

and acceptance.

Future Researchers. This research will be useful as reference for the

researchers who plan to make any related study.

Scope and Delimitations of the Study

This study will focus on the experiences of fathers who have a gay child

in Tacurong City. The study aims to explore how fathers perceive and react

to their children's sexual orientation and how this affects their relationship with

their son. It will also examine the challenges and opportunities that fathers

face in supporting their gay children and the strategies they use to cope with

these challenges. This study will only focus on the experiences of fathers and

will not explore the experiences of mothers, siblings, or other family members.

Fathers who will refuse to be interviewed will not be forced to be participants

in this study.

6
6
Operational Definition of terms

Discrimination Refers to the unfair treatment of gay individuals based on

their sexual orientation. This can include overt acts of exclusion or

violence, as well as more subtle forms of discrimination such as being

overlooked for job opportunities or being treated differently by

healthcare providers.

Father Refers to male parents or parental figures who are involved in the

upbringing and care of their children.

Gay Refers to a person who is sexually or romantically attracted to people of

their own sex or gender.

Gender Identity Refers to each person's deeply felt internal and individual

experience of gender, which may or may not correspond with the sex

assigned at birth, including the personal sense of the body (which may

involve, if freely chosen medication of bodily appearance of function by

medical, surgical, or other means) another expression of gender,

including clothing speech and mannerisms.

LGBTQ community Also known as the LGBTQIA+++ community, GLBT

community, gay community, or queer community is a loosely defined

grouping of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals united

by a common culture and social movements. These communities

generally celebrate pride, diversity, individuality, and sexuality.

7
7
Sexual Orientation Refers to a person's identity in relation to the gender or

genders to which they are sexually attracted; the fact of being

heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual.

Stigma Refers to the negative attitudes, beliefs, and stereotypes that society

holds about homosexuality and gay people. These attitudes can lead to

the marginalization and exclusion of gay individuals and can create a

culture of fear, shame, and silence around homosexuality.

8
8
 Chapter II

REVIEW RELATED LITERATURE AND STUDIES

In a father-child relationship, modeling is a crucial part of fathers’

influence on their kids. Establishing in his child the value of masculinity is the

father’s responsibility. By encouraging his child to see his behavior and how a

man should act, he might also expose his child to the idea and get him to think

about it unconsciously. A father teaches his child by modeling good behavior

for him as well as providing guidance or commands (Bucher, J. (2014). At the

same time, the father-child relationship is important in the lives of many men

(Horn, A. J., & Wong, Y. J., 2014).

However, coming out is a decision involving identity disclosure. The

research that is currently available on the coming-out process focuses on a

single, linear focus, neglecting to highlight the fact that sexual minorities must

consistently disclose their identities. (Kranz, D. 2021). On the other hand,

coming out also affected the perceptions of parents of gay children on

masculinity. Although some aspects of traditional masculinity were held in

place even after coming out, the parents were able to shift their perceptions to

include a more comprehensive idea about what “being a man” means.

(Cassar, J. & Grima Sultana, M., 2017)

According to the study published in the Journal of LGBT Youth in 2017,

fathers’ reactions to their child’s coming out can be influenced by a variety of

factors, including their attitudes towards homosexuality, their relationships

with their children, and their own experiences with sexual orientation or

gender identity. As a result, the study published in the Journal of

9
9
Homosexuality in 2016 found that fathers tended to have more negative

reactions towards their children coming out as gay. The study also found that

fathers who had more traditional views of masculinity and gender roles tended

to have more negative reactions. On the contrary, according to the study that

was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family in 2014, fathers who had

positive attitudes towards homosexuality were more likely to have positive

reactions to their child’s coming out. The study also found that fathers who

had close relationships with their children and perceived their children as

being more like themselves were more likely to have a positive reaction.

Besides, fathers may experience a sense of loss or disappointment at the

realization that their sons will not have biological grandchildren, but this is

often overcome with acceptance and support. (Mellinger, C. D., 2013).

Although fathers with gay children may experience feelings of shame or

embarrassment due to societal expectations of traditional masculinity, They

may also worry about how their relationship with their child will be perceived

by others, and fathers may have difficulty finding support from other fathers or

men in their social circles who may hold negative attitudes towards

homosexuality (Adams, J. M., 2015). But despite these obstacles, it is

acknowledged that the fathers are adjusting to their children's homosexuality

and are looking for ways to tolerate, accept, and even make accommodations

for them. (Livingston J, Fourie E, 2016)

Several factors influence the level of acceptance and support that

fathers of gay children provide. These factors include the father’s own

attitudes towards homosexuality, the level of social support available to the

10
10
father, the father’s relationship with his child before and after coming out, and

the father’s level of education and exposure to diverse populations (Coyne, A.,

& Reich, A., 2015).

Additionally, fathers with gay children may use a variety of strategies to

provide support and acceptance. These strategies include educating

themselves about homosexuality, seeking support from other fathers with gay

children, and communicating openly with their Children about their sexual

orientation. Fathers may also work to challenge their own biases and

prejudices towards homosexuality. (Bowles, H.R., Kotelchuck, M., Grau, M.G.

2022).

In conclusion, the review of related literature highlights the crucial role

that fathers play in shaping their sons’ values of masculinity and the

importance of the father-child relationship in the lives of many men. However,

the coming-out process is a critical decision that involves identity disclosure,

and fathers’ reactions can be influenced by several factors. Fathers with more

traditional views of masculinity and gender roles tend to have more negative

reactions, while those with positive attitudes towards homosexuality and close

relationships with their children are more likely to have positive reactions.

Strategies that fathers with gay children can use to provide support and

acceptance include educating themselves about homosexuality, seeking

support from other fathers with gay children, and communicating openly with

their children about their sexual orientation. Overall, the literature suggests

that fathers’ attitudes and behaviors towards their gay children can have a

significant impact on their children’ well-being and acceptance of their sexual

orientation.

11
11
 Chapter III

METHODOLOGY

Research Design

A qualitative research design with a case study approach was used for

investigating the perspective of fathers with gay children. The case study

design allowed for a detailed examination of a specific phenomenon,

focusing on the experiences and viewpoints of fathers regarding their gay

children. By utilizing qualitative methods, researchers captured the intricate

nuances and complexities inherent in these fathers' perspectives. This

research design entailed conducting in-depth interviews or facilitating focus

group discussions with fathers who had gay children. By examining individual

cases, researchers identified various influential factors, including personal

beliefs, cultural contexts, and the dynamics of the father-son relationship.

Locale of the Study

In this qualitative study, 7 participants took part in an interview of fathers

who have gay child and residents of Tacurong City. These participants were

interviewed face-to-face.

12
12
 Figure 1. Geographical Map of Tacurong City

Research Instrument

The researcher utilized it in an in-depth interview. The interview was

conducted either in person, over the phone, or via video call, based on the

preference and convenience of the participant. Conducting in-depth interviews

with fathers who had a gay child proved to be a valuable way to gain insight

into their experiences. These interviews were conducted face-to-face with the

participants. The researcher used open-ended questions to encourage

participants to share their thoughts and feelings in their own words.

Research Participants

The participants in this qualitative research were fathers who had one

child who identified as gay. The participants of the study were chosen

specifically. They were selected purposefully based on a set of predetermined

criteria or characteristics such as:

 participants had to be biological fathers.

 participants had to be residents of Tacurong City.

13
13
  participants had to be willing and available to participate in interviews

or questionnaires.

 participants had to provide informed consent to participate in the study

Data Collection Procedure

Firstly, researchers sought permission from the participants, the fathers

themselves, ensuring their voluntary participation and informed consent. This

involved providing them with detailed information about the study's purpose,

procedures, potential benefits, and their rights as participants. Additionally,

researchers approached principals or teachers at relevant educational

institutions, seeking their cooperation to reach out to potential participants and

introduce our research project. By doing so, researchers aimed to establish a

respectful and collaborative relationship with the participants and the

educational community, fostering a conducive environment for open and

honest discussions about their experiences and perspectives. After obtaining

permission from the participants, the researchers proceeded with collecting

data through semi-structured interviews, which were audio recorded and

transcribed verbatim. Thus, the researchers requested the permission of the

participants to use an audio-record to select necessary data. The audio

recordings were securely stored and treated with confidentiality throughout

the research process.

Data Analysis Procedure

The data collected from the interviews were transcribed verbatim and

analyzed using thematic analysis. Thematic analysis is a method of analyzing

qualitative data that involves identifying patterns, themes, and meanings

14
14
within the data. The analysis was conducted by the researcher and a second

coder to ensure the reliability and validity of the findings

Ethical Considerations

Participants were informed of the purpose of the study and were given

the opportunity to ask questions before giving their consent to participate. The

interviews were conducted in a private and confidential setting, and the data

were anonymized to protect the participants' privacy. Any personal information

collected from the participants was handled with strict confidentiality. This

included demographic data, responses to questions, and any observations

made during the interview. Participants had the right to make informed

decisions about their involvement in the research, and their autonomy was

respected.

15
15
 Chapter IV

Presentation and Analysis of Data

Reaction of Fathers upon knowing their son’s identity

A. Initial Surprise and Adjustments

Excerpt on “Initial Surprise and Adjustments” as Reaction of Fathers.

Significant Statements Participants Formulated Meanings Theme

codes Cluster

“Noong una ko nalaman P2 There’s no violent Initial

nagulat ako eh… reaction after the son’s Surprise and
nagulat talaga ako pero confession aside from Adjustments
hindi ko siya pinagalitan being surprised.
pagtapos niya magsabi
samin.”

B. Disapproval and Fear

Excerpt on “Disapproval and Fear” as Reaction of Fathers.

Significant Statements Participants Formulated meanings Theme

codes cluster

“Akig eh, alang-alang P4 The father wants to Disapproval

ano? Mangalipay ka have a straight son. and Fear

16
16
 bala nga bakla bata The reason why, he
mo? Ngita ka gani ka was upset after
laki kay laki gusto mo.” knowing his son’s
identity.

C. Acceptance

Excerpt on “Acceptance” as Reaction of Fathers.

Significant Statements Participants Formulated meanings Theme

codes cluster

“Maging ano man at P1 Accepted everything Acceptance

sino man ang anak ko, about his son.
anak ko ‘yan eh.”

"Na-obserbahan ko P3 Though the son didn’t Acceptance

lang sa mga galaw niya confess his identity,
kaya kahit hindi siya the father already
nagsabi sa akin, alam observed it’s behavior
ko at tanggap ko naman and he accepted it.
siya."

"Ang unang reaction ko P5 Got mad at first but still Acceptance

ay galit kasi mahirap accepted at last.
tanggapin na gay ang
anak ko pero naglaon

17
17
tanggap na namain kasi
anak namin siya."

“Wala man siya nag- P6 Though the son didn’t Acceptance

amin, ti ang galaw nila vocally confess his
wala namang hilig sa identity but based on
babae puro lalaki lang… his behavior having no
matagal ko pa na interest with girls, the
tanggap yan” father already
accepted it.

“Walang problema, P7 Accepted his son’s Acceptance

accept ko anak ko yan identity without any
eh, ako nagpalaki, ako hesitation.
ang kwan… Kailangan i-
guide mo kasi wala
naman may gusto niyan
eh…”

18
18
The Experiences of Fathers who have Gay Child

Reactions of Fathers upon knowing their son’s identity

A. Initial Surprise and Adjustments

In the interview conducted, one of the fathers was surprised after knowing
his son’s identity. However, the interview revealed deeper meaning as
described in their reaction.

Table 1: Meaning of “Initial Surprise and Adjustments” as Reactions of

Fathers upon knowing their son’s identity.

Formulated meanings Theme cluster

There’s no violent reaction after the Initial Surprise and Adjustments

son’s confession aside from being
surprised.

Initial Surprise and Adjustments appeared to be the reaction of one of

the fathers upon knowing their son’s identity.

Being surprised was the first reaction of P2 after knowing his son’s
identity. It was unexpected for him to know about his son’s identity. Since his
son is not open to talk about himself, P2 also added.

“Hindi siya naga open sa akin kaya noong nagsabi siya samin ni mama niya,
nagulat talaga ako pero hindi ko siya pinagalitan pagtapos niya magsabi
samin.”

(“He’s not really open to me so when he confessed, I was so shocked, but I

didn’t scold him after knowing his gender identity.”)

Though after the son’s confession, P2 did not scold his son.

19
19
 B. Disapproval and Fear

In the interview conducted, one of the fathers was disapproved after

knowing his son’s identity. However, the interview revealed deeper meaning
as described in their reaction.

Table 2: Meaning of “Disapproval and Fear” as Reactions of Fathers upon

knowing their son’s identity.

Formulated meanings Theme cluster

The father wants to have a straight Disapproval and Fear

son. The reason why, he was upset
after knowing his son’s identity.

Disapproval and Fear were appeared to be the reaction of one of the

fathers upon knowing their son’s identity.

P4 disapproved of his son’s identity, he also stated that.

“Ngita ka gani ka laki kay laki gusto mo.”

(“You are looking for a son because you want a son.”)

He wants to have a straight son, that’s why he was upset about his
son’s identity.

C. Acceptance

In the interview conducted, many fathers accepted their son’s identity.

However, the interview revealed deeper meaning as described in their
reaction.

Table 3: Meanings of “Acceptance” as Reactions of Fathers upon knowing

their son’s identity.

20
20
 Formulated meanings Theme cluster

Accepted everything about his son. Acceptance

Though the son didn’t confess his Acceptance

identity, the father already observed its
behavior, and he accepted it.

Got mad at first but still accepted at last. Acceptance

Though the son didn’t vocally confess his Acceptance

identity but based on his behavior having
no interest with girls, the father already
accepted it.

Accepted his son’s identity without any Acceptance

hesitation.

Acceptance appeared to be the reaction of many fathers upon

knowing their son’s identity.

P1 accepted everything about his son from his statement.

“Maging ano man at sino man ang anak ko, anak ko ‘yan eh.”

(“No matter what and who is my son, he is still my son.”)

Even though his son didn’t confess his identity, P3 has already
observed his son’s behaviors since he was young. P3 also laughed while
reminiscing those scenes where he noticed his son’s different behavior from
other boys.

“Alam ko at tanggap ko naman siya.”

(“I know and I accepted him.”)

21
21
 He already known his son’s identity from the beginning, and he
accepted it.

At first, it was hard for P5 to accept his son’s identity and he was mad
after knowing it but as the time went by, he learned to accept his son’s identity
because he is his son.

Having no interest with girls, P6 already known his son’s identity. P6

also started.

“’Yon ayaw ko baka hindi yan siya maka asawa, wala mag-alaga sa kanya
pagtanda kaya ayaw ko talaga na magbakla siya.”

“("I don't want that, maybe he won't be able to marry, there's no one to take
care of him when he gets old, so I really don't want him to be gay.")

Every parent will be worried about who will gonna take care of their
child in the future and that’s exactly what P6 feels after knowing his son’s
identity though, he still accepted his son’s identity.

It’s in their bloodline having LGBTQIA+++ family members. The reason

why it was easy for P7 to accept his son’s identity without any hesitation. He
also shared he’s gay sibling’s experience from their father.

“Sa side ng father ko, talagang malupit talaga hindi maganda ‘yong
pinagdaanan ng kapatid ko. Iyong sunod kasi sa akin bading din so, parang
kulang nalang ipasok sa sako at itapon sa ilog.”

(“In my father side, he’s very cruel. My younger brother is gay so he really
went through a lot to the point that he was tried to put inside the sack and
throw in the river.”)

Now that P7 has a gay child, he doesn’t want them to experience what
his gay sibling experienced from their father. He also added.

“Kailangan I guide mo kasi wala naman may gusto niyan eh, ginusto na nila
yan? Diba hindi? Walang makakapag predict diyan kung anong resulta niyan,
kung anong kinalabasan niyan I guide mo nalang, I nurture mo nalang at least
maging maganda yung buhay bandang huli. Hindi naman kasalanan ang
pagiging bakla diba?”

22
22
(“All you need to do is to guide them because no one wants it either. No one
can predict the result of that, what the outcome of that. Just guide them and
at least their life will be good in the end. Being gay isn't a sin, right?")

No matter what his son’s identity is, he still accepts it because for P7,
being who you are will never be a sin.

Challenges faced by participants in terms of Social Stigma and

Discrimination

A. Lack of Personal Experiences with Discrimination

Excerpt on “Lack of Personal Experiences with Discrimination” as challenges
they faced.
Significant Participant Formulated Theme
Statements Meanings Cluster
Code
“As of now, wala P1 Have not yet Lack of
pa naman akong encountered any negative
na encounter na instances of experiences
discrimination sa discrimination
aking son who towards their son
became gay.” who is gay.

B. Negative Talk
Excerpt on “Negative Talk” as challenges they faced in terms of Social
Stigma.
Significant Participant Formulated Theme
Statements Meanings Cluster
Code
“Syempre marami P2 They have faced Negative Talk
niyan, marami numerous
kami naririnig na challenges and
ginasabi ng mga have heard
tao diyan dahil sa negative comments
pagiging bakla ni from people
(xxxxxx)… Bilang regarding their
papa niya man child’s
masakit syempre homosexuality.
para sa akin na
makarinig ng
ganoon yung mga

23
23
 sinasabi nila sa
anak ko.”

C. Derogatory and Judgment

Excerpt on “Derogatory and Judgement” as challenges they faced in terms of
Social Stigma.
Significant Participant Formulated Theme
Statements Code Meanings Cluster
“Permaninti eh, P4 Always being criticized Derogatory
kay lait-lait gid by someone and
daan to nila Judgement
(xxxxx) maakig ka
gid eh kay bata
mo.”
“Kung ako sa akin P3 Encountering Derogatory
wala mang mabigat comments and and
na ano ‘yon judgments about their Judgement
discrimination, child’s sexual
meron lang minsan orientation.
may naga sabi
‘ayon si ano, may
bading na anak
yan’ pero parang
wala man lang ‘yon
sa akin kay bakit
pag may anak
akong bading?
Wala mang
magbago anak ko
‘yon parin.”
“Una palang may P7 People judge based Derogatory
discrimination na on sexual orientation and
mangyayari sayo and assume Judgement
‘ay yan pa bakla’ capabilities or
‘yan’ ‘yan pa’ suitability for positions.
‘tapos ‘yan pa’

24
24
 ‘ilalagay mo sa
posisyon ‘ ‘ah,
presidente namin
bakla ‘ ‘ah, ganito’
‘ganito, ganyan ‘
so, kailangan
maging siya ang
maging matibay. “

D. Prejudice
Excerpt on “Prejudice" as challenges they faced in terms of Discrimination.
Significant Participant Formulated Meanings Theme
Statements Code Cluster
Wala…ay! P6 Judgmental comments
Meron…oo, from others, attempting
meron gina to challenge their child’s
tanong ako, bakit sexual orientation and
bakla ‘yang anak expecting them to
ko. Pati iyan siya, conform to traditional
‘yong bakla ko gender norms.
gina lait kay bakit
daw bakla siya,
ginasabihan ko
sila na ‘ti anong
magagawa ko
kung ‘yan ang
gusto nila?’ kahit
pagalitan mo na
sila na maglalaki
na galaw,
talagang ayaw
man talaga nila.”
The Experiences of Fathers with Gay Child
Challenges faced by participants in terms of Social Stigma and
Discrimination
A. Lack of Personal Experiences with Discrimination

25
25
 In the interview conducted, one participant said that he did not encounter
any discrimination against his gay son, also his son has not faced any
discrimination thus far.
Table 1. Meaning of “Lack of Personal Experiences with Discrimination” as
challenges they faced in terms of Social Stigma.”
Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster
They have not yet encountered any Lack of negative experiences
instances of discrimination towards his
son who is gay.

Lack of Personal Experiences with Discrimination they have been

faced in terms of Social Stigma and Discrimination. P1 admitted that;
“As of now, wala pa naman akong na encounter na
discrimination sa aking son who became gay.”
(“As of now, I didn’t encounter any discrimination for having a
son who became gay.”)
P1 did not encounter any social stigma or discrimination.

B. Negative Talk
In the interview conducted, one of the participants faced numerous
challenges and heard negative comments from people regarding their child’s
homosexuality. However, the interview revealed deeper meaning as
described to the challenges they have been experienced.
Table 2. Meaning of “Negative Talk” as challenges they have been
experienced in terms of social stigma.
Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster
They have faced numerous challenges Negative Talk
and have heard negative comments
from people regarding their child’s
homosexuality.
Negative Talk appeared to be the social stigma they have been faced
because of having a gay child.
Receiving negative comments or talk was the social stigma received by
the P2. The participant had encountered derogatory comments or remarks
from others due to their child being gay. Also, participant stated that;
“Pagkatapos niya kasi mag sabi sa amin parang ging open na siya sa mga
galaw kaya meron talaga nasasabi ang tao.”
(“After he confessed to us, he seemed to be open to show his real identity
so the people really have something to say.”)

26
26
 After his son admitted that he was gay he seemed to be open to show his
true self, so the people were really saying something negative. Of course, as
a father, it hurts for them to hear such words for their son, P2 also said:
“Bilang papa niya man masakit syempre para sa akin na makarinig ng
ganoon yung mga sinasabi nila sa anak ko. Alam ko…pati yan siya
nahurt syempre sa mga naririnig niya ginasiguro nalang talaga namin
ng mama niya na kahit ano mangyari ang mahalaga ‘tanggap ka
namin, willing kami mag support sa lahat ng bagay’.”

("As his father, it hurts me to hear what they say to my son, and I know...he
was also hurt from what he heard, so his mom and I just assured him that no
matter what happens, the important thing is 'we accept you, and we are
willing to support you in everything.'")

They received hurtful words that caused distress and pain to them,
however P2 emphasizes that they and their spouse provide unwavering
acceptance and support to their child, regardless of the circumstances.

C. Derogatory and Judgment

In the interview conducted, three of the participants have always received
derogatory and judgment from other people because of their child’s
homosexuality. However, the interview revealed deeper meaning as
described to the challenges they have been experienced.
Table 3. Meaning of “Derogatory and Judgement” as challenges they have
been experienced in terms of social stigma.
Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster
Always being criticized by someone Derogatory and Judgement

Encountering comments and Derogatory and Judgement

judgments about their child’s sexual
orientation.
People judge based on sexual Derogatory and Judgement
orientation and assume capabilities
or suitability for positions.

Derogatory and Judgement by someone appears to be the social stigma

they have been faced because of having a gay child.
Always being criticized by someone is the social stigma that P4 has faced
because of having a gay child. In the statement of P4, his son is always being
insulted.
“Permaninti eh, kay lait-lait gid daan to nila (xxxxx), maakig ka gid eh
kay bata mo.” (P4)

27
27
 ("Always, they are insulting (xxxxx), you'll be really angry because it's
your son.")
As a father, they are angry because their son is being treated like that.
This statement implies that the reason for the P4's anger or frustration stems
from the fact that the belittling or criticism is directed at their own child,
understanding that it can be natural for a parent to feel protective and
defensive in such situations.

Similarly, P3 also received comments and judgments about their child’s

sexual orientation. P3’s answer reveals their experience with social stigma;

“Kung ako sa akin wala mang mabigat na ano ‘yon discrimination, meron lang
minsan may naga sabi ‘ayon si ano, may bading na anak yan’ parang wala
man lang ‘yon sa akin… kay bakit pag may anak akong bading?”

(“I didn’t received any serious discrimination, it’s just that sometimes
someone says ‘oh that’s him, he has a gay child’ but that doesn’t even matter
to me....what if I have a gay child?”)

However, P3 expresses that these comments do not affect them because

they question why it should matter if they have a gay child. They firmly believe
that their child’s sexual orientation does not change anything and they
continue to love and support their child unconditionally. Participant displays a
strong sense of self and rejects the notion that their child's sexual orientation
should define them or alter their perception of their child. P3 stated;

“Wala mang magbago anak ko ‘yon parin.”

(Nothing will change, he’s still my child.")

This response showcases the P3' resilience against social stigma and
their unwavering acceptance of their child. The response reflects P3' ability to
challenge societal norms, maintain a positive outlook, and prioritize their
child’s well-being over the judgments and stigmas imposed by others.

Just as P7 also experienced Derogatory and Judgement. In P7’s

statement, people judge his son based on sexual orientation and people
assume the capabilities of his child as gay. They mention encountering
occasional comments like:

28
28
“ay yan pa bakla’ ‘yan’ ‘yan pa’ ‘tapos ‘yan pa’ ‘ilalagay mo sa posisyon ‘ ‘ah,
presidente namin bakla ‘ ‘ah, ganito’ ‘ganito, ganyan ‘”

("he’s gay" "that" "that" "then" "you'll put him in the position" "ah, our president
is gay" "ah, like this" "like this, like that." )

It indicates that society attaches a negative stigma to having a child who

identifies as gay. P7 acknowledges that discrimination is prevalent in various
aspects of life, recounting personal experiences of being insulted and treated
poorly due to having a sibling who is gay. When he and his brother were still
studying, his case was no longer counted in school because of his brother,
because they insulted his brother, he cannot seem to accept those. Now that
P7 is in a position of authority and has children of their own, he makes a
conscious effort to educate his children about the need to be prepared for
discrimination. P7 stated;

“Well, ang sa akin pinagsasabihan ko sila na magkakaroon talaga ng

discrimination kahit saan…kasi sa time ko nag-aaral pa kami ng
kapatid ko, hindi na mabilang ‘yong kaso ko sa eskwelahan dahil sa
kanya eh, kasi babastusin ‘yong parang insultuhin…parang di ko
matanggap ‘yong ganon so, ngayon sa time ko na nasa position ko na
‘yong mga anak ko may ganon pinapaliwanagan ko sila na kailangan
maging handa rin kayo…”

("Well, as for me, I tell them that there will be discrimination

everywhere...because at the time my brother and I were still studying,
my case in school was not counted because of him, because you
would be treated like an insult ...I can't seem to accept that, now when
my child is in his position, I explain to him that you also need to be
ready...")

As parents, the participant, as a father, he acknowledges the pain

caused by discrimination but encourages his children to be prepared and
stand up against it. P7 always saying the importance of demonstrating self-
worth and demanding respect from others to his child. He acknowledges that
societal acceptance may not always be fair so he tells his gay child to stay
strong in the face of prejudice. P7 said that not everyone in their community

29
29
may accept them and their children, but they proudly accept and support their
child’s identity. He proudly said:

“Ay! Ako pa mismo nagsasabi na bading ‘yong anak ko. Proud ako doon,
anak ko yan eh, diba?”

(“Oh! I’m the one who is saying that my son is gay. I'm proud of that, that's my
son, right?")

Despite that he acknowledges that not everyone in their community may

be accepting his child, but he proudly embraces and support his child's
identity.

D. Prejudice

In the interview conducted, one of the participants has always receive

prejudice from other people because of their child’s homosexuality. However,
the interview revealed deeper meaning as described to the challenges they
have been experienced.

Table 3. Meaning of “Prejudice” as challenges they have been experienced in

terms of Discrimination.

Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster

Judgmental comments from Prejudice

others, attempting to challenge
their child’s sexual orientation
and expecting them to conform to
traditional gender norms

Prejudice by someone appears to be the discrimination they have

been faced because of having a gay child.

Judgmental comments from others, attempting to challenge their

child’s sexual orientation and expecting them to conform to traditional gender
norms are the challenges that P6 experienced because of having a gay child.
P6 answer reveals the discrimination he has faced regarding his child’s
homosexuality. They recount instances where he has been questioned and

30
30
criticized about their child’s sexual orientation, specifically being asked why
his child is gay. Additionally, he mentions that his child also experiences
mockery and other bad attitudes from others. He shares that he had been
encountered struggle against societal prejudices about his child's sexual
orientation, particularly regarding their child being gay. He stated:

“meron gina tanong ako, bakit bakla ‘yang anak ko. Pati iyan siya, ‘yong bakla
ko gina lait kay bakit daw bakla siya, ginasabihan ko sila na ‘ti anong
magagawa ko kung ‘yan ang gusto nila?’ kahit pagalitan mo na sila na
maglalaki na galaw, talagang ayaw man talaga nila”

(I received some questions like, ‘why is your son is gay?’ That's the same
thing, that my child recieves because he's gay, I tell them that 'what can I do if
that's what they want?' even if you scold them for acting like men, they really
don't want to"

P6 express frustration and mention that even his own gay child faces
judgment from others. In response to these negative comments, P6 asserts
that he has told people that they cannot control or change his child's sexual
orientation, emphasizing that it is what his child desires.

Beliefs and Attitudes held by Fathers.

31
31
 A. Acceptance and Appreciation

Excerpt on “Acceptance and Appreciation” as Beliefs and Attitudes held by

Fathers.

Significant Statement Participants Formulated Theme

Code Meanings Cluster

"Gaya nga ng sinabi P1 Didn’t encounter Acceptance

ko kanina wala pa any and
akong na encounter Appreciation
discrimination
na discrimination sa
because he
anak kong bakla
knows his son
dahil magaling
very well.
naman siya hindi

naman siya gaya ng

ibang bakla."

“Ah wala…, wala- P4 Nothing changed Acceptance

wala may mag bag-o in his beliefs. and
kay syempre bata Appreciation

mo na, bag-uhon mo
gid pag tan-aw mo

sa bata mo.”

32
32
 B. Religious or Cultural Beliefs

Excerpt on “Religious or Cultural Beliefs” as Beliefs and Attitudes held by

Fathers.

Significant Statement Participants Formulated Theme

Code Meanings Cluster

“Hindi magdamit ng P5 Supports what his Religious or

pangbabae at mag son’s wants as Cultural
make up ang mga long as he will not Beliefs
lalaki pero kahit wear any women
anong kung talagang clothes and
gusto niya gawin sa makeups.
katawan

niya support nalang.”

“Lahi man sa amin P6 It’s in their Religious or

bakla pero noong bloodline to have Cultural
una, ayaw ko talaga gays in their Beliefs
na bakla ‘yong anak family but at first,
ko” he doesn’t want
his son as gay.

33
33
 C. Equality and Fair Treatment
Excerpt on “Equality and Fair Treatment” as Beliefs and Attitudes held by
Fathers.

Significant Participants Formulated Theme

cluster
Statements Codes meanings

"Dapat pantay P2 Everyone should Equality and

pantay lahat ng be treated right Fair
trato sa bawat and equally no Treatment
tao kahit ano pa what gender they
‘yang gender na want.
gusto nila ah
dapat pantay-
pantay ang trato
tapos tingin sa
kanila."

34
34
 D. Familiarity and Personal Experience

Excerpt on “Familiarity and Personal Experience” as Beliefs and Attitudes

held by Fathers.

Significant Participants Formulated Theme

cluster
Statements Codes meanings

"Ang kailangan P7 People should be Familiarity and

lang doon sa open minded Personal
kanila is maging about gays. Experience
open ang isip
niyo sa mga
bagay na pag
naka encounter
kayo ng mga
judgemental na
tao pag dating
sa socializing,
tanggap na eh...
Tanggap na,
hindi na ito 80’s
hindi din ito 70’s
na pinapatay or
kinukulong o ina
ano ‘yan…
inaabuso ‘yong
mga bisexual or
mga third party...
siguro yan sa
akin ‘yan ‘yong
ano ko mindset

35
35
ko sa sitwasyon
namin kasi una,
blood line namin
meron din
saamin ‘yong
may lumalabas
talaga na bading.
Sa amin okay na
iyong walang…
walang ano
doon…
socializing…
depende na iyon
pagdating
sakanya kung
paano niya nya
ima-manuveur
‘yong sarili nya
pagdating sa
mga tao.”

“Meron din kasi P3 Having gay Familiarity and

akong dalawa na relative become Personal
pinsan na binata advantage for Experience
doon sa bario na him to easily
bakla din, accept his son’s
malapit ‘yon sila identity.
sa akin na mga
bata kaya noong
nagkaroon ako
mismo ng anak
na bakla madali
nalang sakin na

36
36
 tanggapin siya.”

The Experiences of Fathers who have Gay Child

Beliefs and Attitudes held by Fathers.

A. Acceptance and Appreciation

In the interview conducted, two of the fathers did not change any of
their beliefs and stick with acceptance and appreciation of their child’s
identity.

Table 1: Meaning of “Acceptance and Appreciation” as Beliefs and Attitudes

held by fathers.

Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster

37
37
 The father didn’t encounter any Acceptance and Appreciation
discrimination because he knows
that his son is he is and he’s not
like other gay’s.

Nothing changed in his beliefs. Acceptance and Appreciation

Acceptance and Appreciation is the reaction of the two fathers upon

knowing their son’s identity.

B. Religious or Cultural Beliefs

In this interview one of the seven fathers being interviewed doesn’t
want his son to wear women’s clothes and make up but he still supports his
son.

Table 2: Meanings of “Religious or Cultural Beliefs” as Beliefs and Attitudes

held by fathers.

Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster

The don’t want his son to wear Religious or Cultural

women’s clothes and make up but
he still supports on what his son
wants.

Their race is gay but at first, he Religious and Cultural

doesn’t want his son as gay.

The P1 does not experience of discrimination when he knew that his

son is gay, because he knows that his son is good.

On P4, nothing changed in his beliefs.

P7 said there was a side of him that he really wants a gay child, but it
didn’t take long for him to accept, he also said that;

“Lahi man sa amin bakla pero noong una ayaw ko talaga na bakla
anak ko.”
(“It’s in our bloodline to have gay relatives but at first I don’t want my
son as gay.”)
38
38
 C. Equality and Fair treatment
In this interview the father has message that we should treat right and
equal our children’s no matter what their gender is.
Table 3: Meanings of “Equality and Fair treatment” as Beliefs and Attitudes
held by fathers.

Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster

Everyone should be treated right and Equality and Fair treatment

equally no what gender they want.

Equality and Fair treatment appeared to be the reaction of one of the

fathers upon knowing his son’s identity.

For P2 nothing changed in how he treated his son when he didn’t know
his son was gay. Every father should accept what their child is because that is
their son no matter what happens.

D. Familiarity and Personal Experience

In the interview conducted, the society should be open for this kind of
cases about LGBTQIA+++ this is the new generation and not the old one
people should be open minded.

39
39
Table 4: Meaning of “Familiarity and Personal Experience” as Beliefs and
Attitudes held by fathers.

Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster

People should be open minded Familiarity and Personal Experience
about gays.
It is easy for him to accept that he Familiarity and Personal Experience
has a gay son because he has two
gay cousins.

P7 encountered judgements this is not the 70’s and 80’s generation

that there is killing and imprisoning happens in year 70’s and 80’s gays
experienced harassment and threats. He also said that;

“Ang kailangan lang doon sa kanila is maging open ang isip niyo sa
mga bagay na pag naka encounter kayo ng mga judgemental na tao pag
dating sa socializing, tanggap na eh… Tanggap na, hindi na ito 80’s hindi din
ito 70’s na pinapatay or kinukulong o ina ano ‘yan… inaabuso ‘yong mga
bisexual or mga third party…”

(“"All they need is to be open minded to things that when you encounter
judgmental people when it comes to socializing, accept it... accept it, we are
not in 80's anymore, it's not 70's either where people are being killed or
imprisoned it’s that... they were abused.")

There is nothing wrong with being gay as long as you don’t do anything
bad to others, everyone has a right to live in this world no matter what your
gender is we are all equal.

P3 already has experience in socializing with gay people, so it is easy

for him to accept his son who become a gay because he also has 2 gay
cousins. He said that;

“Meron din kasi akong dalawa na pinsan na binata doon sa bario na bakla din,
malapit ‘yon sila sa akin na mga bata kaya noong nagkaroon ako mismo ng
anak na bakla madali nalang sakin na noong mga bata kaya noong

40
40
 nagkaroon ako mismo ng anak na bakla madali nalang sakin na tanggapin
siya”.

(“I also have two young cousins in the barrio who are also gay, they were
close to me when they were children, so when I knew about my son’s identity
it became easy for me to accept him.”)

We salute to their fathers who accept their son’s gender identity, because
no matter what we do in the world, you can't do anything if that's your child, no
matter what he is or who he is, that's your child and nothing will change.

41
41
Strategies of Fathers to Cope with Social Stigma and Discrimination

A. Immediate Intervention and Protection

Excerpt on “Immediate Intervention and Protection” as Strategies of Fathers

to Cope with Social Stigma and Discrimination.

Significant Statement Participant Formulated Theme cluster

s Code Meanings

“Nakita ko talaga sa P2 Taking an Immediate

mata niya na hindi action to protect Intervention and
niya gusto ‘yong his son from a Protection
sinabi ng tito niya… relative who
Pinagalitan ko kay made fun of his
‘kabastos ng identity.
bunganga mo’ kako
sinabi ko talaga na
ganun.”

“syempre anak ko
gani, protektahan ko
talaga yan hindi ayos
sa amin na gina
ganyan lang ‘yang
anak ko “

“Ginasabihan ‘yan P3 Supporting his Immediate

siya ng mga kalaro son emotionally Intervention and
niya ng ‘bakla, bakla’ and construes

42
42
tapos ‘yan siya wala the children Protection
naga-iyak nagalaban who are making
pa siya pag inaaway fun of his son’s
pero kay tatay niya identity.
man kung ako
makakita sabihan
lang … pero ngayon
na malaki na siya,
wala naman akong
mapansin na may
naga-bully kay
(xxxxxx).”

“Protektahan na kay P4 Protecting his Immediate

natural gina lait siya son from the Intervention and
hindi man pwede nga natural Protection
pabay-an mo, wala tendency of
na siya sa sarili niya people to
lang.” criticized.

“Sabihan ko sila eh, P6 Immediately Immediate

na ‘wala kayong responded to Intervention and
pakialam’ kung those gossipers Protection
gusto nila yun wala that they don’t
akong magagawa care about his
kung ganoon na son wants to
talaga gusto niya.” be.

“Pagnakikita mong P7 Taught his son Immediate

43
43
binabastos na about Intervention and
syempre ibang awareness from Protection
usapan na iyon, the people in
pagsabihan mo then his surrounding
ipaintindi mo sa anak to protect them.
mo bakit siya Provides
ginanyan… para ka supports and
namang sa kapwa immediate legal
mo parehas mong actions if
lalake, parehas mong needed.
babae.”

“Siguro sa akin para

ma protektahan ko
sila, kailangan
maging aware din
sila. Support nalang
ako sa kanila sa
kung saan sila
masaya.”

B. Teaching Resilience and Self-Defense

44
44
Excerpt on “Teaching Resilience and Self-Defense” as Strategies of Fathers
to Cope with Social Stigma and Discrimination.

Significant Statement Participants Formulated Theme

Code Meanings Cluster

“Noong bata pa yang si P3 Taught his son to Teaching

(xxxxx), syempre bata be independent in Resilience
daw normal lang ‘yong facing bullying and and Self-
tuksuan. Ginasabihan how to stand up for Defense
‘yan siya ng mga kalaro himself.
niya ng ‘bakla, bakla’
tapos ‘yan siya wala
naga-iyak nagalaban pa
siya pag inaaway pero
kay tatay niya man ako,
bilang tatay kapag ako
mismo makakita na
ginatawag siya na
ganoon pagalitan ko
‘yong bata eh sabihan
lang…pero ngayon na
malaki na siya, wala
naman akong
mapansin na may
naga-bully kay
(xxxxxx).”

45
45
 C. Emotional Support

Excerpt on “Emotional Support” as Strategies of Fathers to Cope with Social

Stigma and Discrimination.

Significant Statement Participants Formulated Theme

Code Meanings Cluster

“Protektahan at always P5 Supports the son Emotional

namin ginasabi kahit and provide Support
ano pa siya tanggap emotional
namin ng kanyang support.
mama basta maging
maasyos siya at hindi
pabayaan ang kanyang
pag-aaral.”

D. Creating Awareness

Excerpt on “Creating Awareness” as Strategies of Fathers to Cope with Social

Stigma and Discrimination.

Significant Statement Participants Formulated Theme

Code Meanings Cluster

“Siguro bilang tatay, P7 Advised Acknowledged

pagnakikita mong caution about the presence
binabastos na syempre the presence of
ibang usapan na iyon, of discrimination
pagsabihan mo then discrimination in society,
ipaintindi mo sa anak in the society advised
mo bakit siya and caution, and
ginanyan, bakit nya highlighted emphasized
ginawa sayo ang the the importance
ganyan, baka naman importance of of respectful

46
46
may rason kung bakit respect in interaction.
ka…ah…pinaglalaruan other people.
diyan…so, sa mga
discrimination siya ang
unang humaharap
niyan kasi kayo ang
nasa field eh, kayo ang
humaharap sa tao,
kayo ang unang
nakaka-encounter
niyan. Kami, second
party nalang kami ng
‘Pa, ako binabastos
ako doon’ ‘Pa, si ano
ganito, ganyan’ so,
kailangan maging
matatag din kayo diyan
kasi ang community
hindi nga natin
masasabing lahat
pabor satin may ayaw
sayo, may tanggap
kayo ‘yong iba nakiki-
blend in nalang. Ang
sistema kasi natin,
modern na tayo. Digital
age na tayo, hindi na
pinag-uusapan ‘yonh
kung anong status mo,
at kung ano ka ba.
Abunda…Vice Ganda…
mga big time na,
marami ng mga sikat
na gay people or mga
47
47
celebrity…so, siguro
sa akin para ma
protektahan ko sila,
kailangan maging
aware din sila. Support
nalang ako sa kanila sa
kung saan sila masaya.
Sige! Sige! Tiuloy lang!
I push mo lang yung
gusto mo. As long as,
hindi ka nakakasagasa
o nakakatapak ng
ibang tao, iyan lang
man ang importante
doon eh, para ka
namang sa kapwa mo
parehas mong lalake,
parehas mong babae.
Pakikisama at
pakikitungo sa tao ng
maganda at maayos
rerespetuhin ka
pabalik pero wag kang
aasa na lahat meron
kasi may tarantado
talaga diyan na bugok
talaga ang utak. Iyon
nga lang, kayo
kailangan maging wise
din kayo kasi well
known ang mga bading
na nilalapitan ng mga
lalaki dahil syempre
may pera kayo either
48
48
ito may kailangan o
may ipapagawa sayo,
parang may laging may
motive, hindi iyon
lalapit na…as per play
lang…na ganoon lang
meron talagang…
ano…diyan at sama
minsan alam mo
naman yung utak ng
tao madumi talaga.
Siguro from the first
question up to the last
question parang halos
lahat pareparehas lang
din ang dating parang
umikot lang eh pero
yung point diyan is
kayo ang mag ma-
manuveur ng sarili
niyo kayo ang
nakikitungo
nakikiharap sa ibang
tao, kami guide lang
kung papaano namin
kayo
madedepensahan,
depende ‘yan sa
sitwasyon. Hanggang
advice muna tayo pero
pagka medyo pangit na
‘yong dating idaan
natin sa legal moves
‘yan para walang
49
49
 samahan ng loob, mas
maganda ‘yong lahat
ng ginagawa natin
naayon at saka hindi
kayo nakakasagasa ng
ibang tao.”

The Experiences of Fathers who have Gay Child

Strategies of Fathers to Cope with Social Stigma and Discrimination

A. Immediate Intervention and Protection

In the interview conducted, the majority of fathers used

immediate intervention and protection as strategies to cope with social stigma
and discrimination.

Formulated Meanings Theme Cluster

Taking an action to protect his Immediate Intervention and

son from a relative who made fun Protection
of his identity.

Supporting his son emotionally Immediate Intervention and

and construes the children who Protection
are making fun of his son’s
identity.

Protecting his son from the Immediate Intervention and

natural tendency of people to Protection
criticized.

Immediately responded to those Immediate Intervention and

gossipers that they don’t care Protection
about his son wants to be.

50
50
 Taught his son about awareness Immediate Intervention and
from the people in his Protection
surrounding to protect them.
Provides supports and immediate
legal actions if needed.

Immediate intervention and protection were used as strategies of the

majority of fathers upon coping with social stigma and discrimination.

P2 took immediate action after he heard his relative making fun of his son’s
identity. P2 shared the incidents in their reunion.

” Naalala ko ‘yong reunion namin sa (xxxxxx) merong siyang tito na ginsita

siya kay bakit daw bakla siya tapos kung anu-ano pa gina sabi gina jamming-
jammingan niya ba. Nakita at saka narinig ko man ‘yon, parang ano lang din
nafeel ko lang din na iba effect noon sa anak. Kita ko talaga sa mata niya na
hindi niya gusto ‘yong sinabi ng tito niya syempre nakita ko man pinalayo ko
si (xxxxxxx) doon sa tito niya, ako nag kausap doon sinabihan ko talaga ‘yon.
Pinagalitan ko kay ‘kabastos ng bunganga mo’ kako sinabi ko talaga na
ganun hindi ko man mapigilan syempre anak ko gani, protektahan ko talaga
yan hindi ayos sa amin na gina ganyan lang ‘yang anak ko porket bading.”

(“I remembered our reunion in (xxxxx), he’s uncle mocked him for being gay. I
saw and heard it and I just felt that it had a different effect on my son. I saw it
in his eyes that he doesn’t like what his uncle said, so I sent him away from
his uncle then I confronted his uncle and scolded him. I really tell him that
‘your mouth is rude’ I can’t stop saying those words because it’s my son, I will
protect him and it’s not okay for us as a parent to treat my son like that.”)

He confronted his relative about its rude behavior towards his son and
showed a strong disapproval about what happened. Even though his son
identifies as gay he doesn’t want anyone are making fun of its identity. He is
also proud to say;

“Kahit ganyan ‘yan mahal na mahal namin ‘yan ng mama niya. Masipag siya
mag aral wala kami naging problem sa kanya kay ginagawa niya ‘yong mga
responsibilities niya bilang anak, proud ako sa kanya sobra-sobra.”

51
51
 ("Even though he’s like that, his mom and I love him very much. He studies
hard, we didn't have any problems with him because he does his
responsibilities as a child, I am very proud of him.")
The unconditional love of parents to their child is priceless. Being proud
to his son no matter what his identity is really an amazing. We really salute
this father for wholy loving and fighting against those people who criticized
and judged his son’s identity.

P3 disclosed his son’s childhood experienced about bullying and how he

responded to it as a father;

“Noong bata pa yang si (xxxxx), syempre bata daw normal lang ‘yong
tuksuan. Ginasabihan ‘yan siya ng mga kalaro niya ng ‘bakla, bakla’ tapos
‘yan siya wala naga-iyak nagalaban pa siya pag inaaway pero kay tatay niya
man ako, bilang tatay kapag ako mismo makakita na ginatawag siya na
ganoon pagalitan ko ‘yong bata eh sabihan lang…”
("When (xxxxx) was young, of course it was normal to tempt a child. His
friends call him 'gay, gay, and then he doesn't cry; he still fights back when
they fight him, but I'm also his father, and as a father, when I see him being
called like that, I will scold the child, who says those things to my child.")

Even though its just a childhood teasing P3 doesn’t want his child to be
treated like that. So as a father, P3 construes those children who make fun of
his son’s identity but now that his son is already a teenager, he doesn’t worry
anymore.

Critisms and judgements is widely known as social issue in our society

and it became the nature of people. The reason why P4 is protecting his son
from the natural tendency of people to criticized. He also added that;

“Hindi man pwede nga pabay-an mo, wala na siya sa sarili niya lang.”

(“I can't just let go my child like that”)

Given the nature of people receiving different critisms and judgements from
other people, P6 responded to those gossipers who’s judging his son
because of its gender identity. He said that;

“Sabihan ko sila eh, na ‘wala kayong pakialam’ kung gusto nila yun wala
akong magagawa kung ganoon na talaga gusto niya.”

52
52
(“I’ll tell them you don’t care if they want that, I can’t do anything if that’s what
he really wants”)

Chapter V

Findings

This chapter presents the findings and analysis of a research study

focused on exploring the experiences and perspectives of fathers with a gay

child. The research aims to shed light on the unique challenges, emotions,

and changes that fathers undergo when their child discloses their sexual

orientation. Also, to provide the researchers findings and recommendations

for the issue researched and analyzed.

This section presents the key findings derived from the thematic analysis

of the interview data. The results are organized into thematic categories that

emerged during the analysis process. Each theme is accompanied by

relevant quotes from the participants to provide a deeper understanding of

53
53
their perspectives. The findings explore various aspects of the fathers’

experiences, including initial reactions, emotional journeys, challenges faced,

shifts in perceptions, and coping strategies.

Initial Reaction of Fathers upon knowing their son’s identity

Reactions to the news of their child being gay varied among the

participants. Some initially expressed surprise, anger, or fear, while others

had observed their child’s behavior and accepted them without the need for

explicit confession. However, a common theme emerged, highlighting the

importance of acceptance and support from parents. Participants

acknowledged that their child’s sexual orientation does not change their love

and responsibility as parents. Some participants also emphasized the need

for guidance and nurturing to ensure their child’s well-being and happiness in

the long run. In the interview conducted, majority of the participants reaction is

Immediate Acceptance towards their son. Some fathers reactions are initial

surprise and adjustments when they find out the sexual orientation of their

child. But Disapproval and Fear will never be avoidable reaction. Angry,

questioning the purpose and expressing fear about having a gay child is the

least reaction of father to their gay child. But as time went by, participants still

accepted the sexual orientation of their child.

Challenges of Fathers in terms of Social Stigma and Discrimination

The research findings indicate that fathers with gay child face

challenges related to the lack of personal experiences with discrimination,

social stigma, discrimination itself, lack of support, emotional impact, and

personal growth. These challenges highlight the need for increased

54
54
awareness, acceptance, and support for fathers navigating the unique

experiences of parenting a gay child.

Beliefs and Attitudes held by Fathers who have Gay Child

The findings reveals that some participants exhibit high levels of

acceptance and appreciation for their gay child, prioritizing their well-being

and happiness over societal norms. Religious or cultural beliefs can initially

influence parental attitudes, but acceptance can increase over time. The

presence of gay relatives or positive family experiences with homosexuality

plays a significant role in accepting the child’s sexual orientation. Equality and

fair treatment are valued by some parents, who believe that all individuals

should be treated equally, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation.

Strategies of Fathers to cope with Social Stigma and Discrimination

In this finding it highlights the proactive and protective nature of

participants in supporting their gay child. They emphasize the importance of

immediate intervention, teaching resilience, providing emotional support, and

creating awareness as effective coping strategies. By employing these

strategies, participants aim to create a supportive environment for their child

and mitigate the potential impact of social stigma or discrimination.

In conclusion, this research emphasizes the importance of acceptance,

support, and understanding from fathers when their child discloses their

sexual orientation. It highlights the evolving nature of parental attitudes and

the need for increased awareness and support for fathers navigating the

unique challenges associated with parenting a gay child. By fostering a

55
55
supportive environment and employing effective coping strategies, fathers can

play a crucial role in promoting the well-being and happiness of their gay

children.

Insights

The findings indicate that fathers initially react with a range of emotions

upon learning about their child’s sexual orientation, including surprise, anger,

fear, and acceptance. However, the overarching theme emphasizes the

importance of acceptance and support from parents, with most fathers

ultimately accepting and loving their gay child unconditionally.

The research findings also reveal the challenges faced by fathers In

this situation, including social stigma, discrimination, lack of support networks,

emotional impact, and personal growth. These challenges underscore the

need for increased awareness, acceptance, and support for fathers navigating

the unique experiences of parenting a gay child. Efforts should be made to

address societal biases, provide resources, and create inclusive spaces

where fathers can seek guidance and support.

56
56
 The study highlights the evolution of beliefs held by fathers, Indicating

that religious or cultural beliefs initially influence their perceptions of

homosexuality. However, acceptance can increase over time, particularly

when fathers witness positive family or community experiences with

homosexuality. This suggests that education, exposure, and open dialogue

play a vital role in shifting beliefs towards acceptance.

The research also uncovers effective coping strategies employed by

fathers, including immediate intervention, teaching resilience, providing

emotional support, and creating awareness about LGBTQ+ issues. By

implementing these strategies, fathers aim to create a supportive environment

for their gay child and mitigate the potential impact of social stigma or

discrimination.

Furthermore, the findings demonstrate that fathers’ experiences with

having a gay child can lead to personal growth and increased empathy

towards the LGBTQ+ community. Fathers who actively engage in

understanding and accepting their child’s sexual orientation demonstrate a

broader perspective and a willingness to challenge societal norms and

prejudices.

In conclusion, the research findings highlight the importance of

acceptance, support, and education for fathers with gay children. Creating a

supportive and inclusive society requires efforts to address discrimination,

provide resources, and promote dialogue that challenges biases. By fostering

acceptance, understanding, and support, fathers can play a significant role in

57
57
promoting the well-being and happiness of their gay children and contributing

to a more inclusive future.

Implications

The findings of this research study have several important implications

for various stakeholders, including parents, healthcare professionals,

educators, and policymakers. These implications highlight the need for

targeted interventions, support systems, and policy changes to address the

challenges faced by fathers with gay children and create a more inclusive

society.

1. Parental Support and Education: The research underscores the crucial

role of parental support in promoting the well-being and happiness of

gay children. It is important to provide resources, support networks,

and educational materials specifically tailored for fathers to help them

navigate their child’s coming out process and develop a better

58
58
 understanding of LGBTQ+ issues. Parenting programs and support

groups can provide a safe space for fathers to share their experiences,

learn from one another, and receive guidance on how to support their

gay children effectively.

2. Healthcare and Mental Health Services: Healthcare professionals,

including doctors, psychologists, and counselors, need to be equipped

with the knowledge and sensitivity to address the unique needs and

concerns of fathers with gay children. They should provide resources,

counseling, and referrals to support both fathers and their gay children.

Mental health services should be accessible and inclusive, offering

specialized support for families navigating the challenges associated

with sexual orientation.

3. Education and School Policies: Educational institutions play a critical

role in creating a safe and supportive environment for gay children and

their families. School policies should explicitly address issues of

bullying, discrimination, and harassment based on sexual orientation.

Educators should receive training to foster inclusive classrooms and

promote understanding and acceptance among students. LGBTQ+

inclusive curricula and resources can help raise awareness, challenge

stereotypes, and create a more inclusive learning environment.

4. Policy and Legal Changes: Policymakers need to advocate for

comprehensive anti-discrimination laws that protect individuals based

on their sexual orientation. These laws should extend to all areas of

life, including employment, housing, healthcare, and education.

Additionally, policies should promote inclusive family structures and

59
59
 ensure that fathers with gay children have legal rights, including

parental rights, custody rights, and inheritance rights. It is crucial to

create an enabling environment that fosters acceptance, equality, and

protection for all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation.

5. Community and Social Support: Creating supportive communities and

social networks is vital for fathers with gay children. Community

organizations, LGBTQ+ advocacy groups, and support groups can

provide a sense of belonging, facilitate peer support, and offer

resources and guidance. Building alliances with religious and cultural

organizations can also promote understanding, acceptance, and bridge

the gap between traditional beliefs and LGBTQ+ acceptance.

In conclusion, the implications drawn from this research highlight the

importance of providing support, education, and resources for fathers with gay

children. By addressing the challenges, they face, promoting acceptance, and

implementing policy changes, society can foster an inclusive and supportive

environment that enhances the well-being and happiness of both fathers and

their gay children.

60
60
 BIBLIOGRAPHY

Alberto, P. P. (2015) I am your father: A qualitative study on the perspective

of a father with a homosexual child
https://animorepository.dlsu.edu.ph/etd_bachelors/18107/

Angelo, P. J. (2021, January 29). The Changing Landscape of Global

LGBTQ+ Rights. Council on Foreign Relations.
https://www.cfr.org/article/changinghttps://www.cfr.org/article/changing-
landscape-global-lgbtq-rightslandscape-global-lgbtq-rights

Angelo, P. J., & Bocci, D. (2021, January 29). The Changing Landscape of
Global LGBTQ+ Rights. Council on Foreign Relations.
https://www.cfr.org/article/changing-landscape-global-lgbtq-rights.
Bowles, H. R., Kotelchuck, M., & Grau, M. G. (2022). Reducing Barriers to
Engaged Fatherhood: Three Principles for Promoting Gender Equity in
Parenting. In Springer eBooks (pp. 299–325).
https://doi.org/10.1007/978https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-75645-
1_173-030-75645-1_17

61
61
Bucher, J. (2014). “But He Can’t Be Gay”: The Relationship Between
Masculinity and Homophobia in Father-Son Relationships. The Journal
of Men’s Studies, 22(3), 222–237. https://doi.org/10.3149/jms.2203.222

Gurkan, T., Ummanel, A., Koran, N. (2021) A Qualitative Study on the

Perception of Fatherhood
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/353823309_A_Qualitative_St
udy_on_the_Perception_of_Fatherhood

Horn, A. J., & Wong, Y. J. (2014). Fathering gay children: A typology of

fathering concerns and clinical recommendations. Professional
Psychology: Research and
Practice,45(4),247257.https://www.researchgate.net/publication/27381
3712_Fathering_Gay_Sons_A_Typology_of_Fathering_Concerns_and
_Clinic al_Recommendations
Horn, A. J., & Wong, Y. J. (2017). Exploring the positive experiences of
heterosexual fathers who parent gay sons: A phenomenological
approach. Psychology of Men and Masculinity, 18(4),
268–279. https://doi.org/10.1037/men0000071

Jadwin-Cakmak, L. (2015), Coming Out to Dad: Young Gay and Bisexual

Men’s Experiences Disclosing Same-Sex Attraction to Their Fathers
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24989422/
Katz-Wise, S. L., Rosario, M., & Tsappis, M. (2016). Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
and

Transgender Youth and Family Acceptance. Pediatric Clinics of North

America, 63(6), 1011–1025. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pcl.2016.07.005

Kranz, D. (2021). Associations Between Fathers’ Masculinity Orientation and

Anticipated Reaction Toward Their Child’s Coming Out. Frontiers in
Psychology, 12. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.711988
Lansford, J. (2020), The Importance of Fathers for Child Development
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-andhttps://www.ps
ychologytoday.com/us/blog/parenting-and-culture/202106/the-
importance-fathers-child-developmentculture/202106/the-importance-
fathers-child-development

Livingston, J., & Fourie, E. (2016). The Experiences and Meanings That
Shape
Heterosexual Fathers’ Relationships with Their Gay Children in South
Africa. Journal of Homosexuality, 63(12), 1630–1659.
https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2016.1158009

62
62
Mills-Koonce, R., Rehder, P., McCurdy, A. (2020), The Significance of
Parenting and Parent-Child Relationships for Sexual and Gender
Minority Adolescents
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7087348/

Pistella, J., Rogers, J. R., & Alessi, E. J. (2016) Journal of Homosexuality,

Volume 66, Issue 14 (2016),
https://www.tandfonline.com/toc/wjhm20/66/14?nav=tocList

Savin-Williams, R. C., & Cohen, K. J. (2015). Developmental trajectories

and milestones of lesbian, gay, and bisexual young people.
International Review of Psychiatry, 27(5), 357–366.
https://doi.org/10.3109/09540261.2015.1093465

Appendices A;
Interview Guide Questions
1.What are your initial thoughts and feelings when you knew that your son
identified as gay? Can you describe your immediate reaction and any
concerns that came up for you?

2. How did you approach your child after he came out as gay? Does it affect
or result in a gap in your father-son relationship?

3. How did you navigate your relationship with your child after he came out as
gay?

4. Can you share any specific instances or examples of social stigma or

discrimination that you and your son have faced due to his sexual orientation?
How did you react as a father upon facing those negative reactions from other
people?

5. What are your personal beliefs about homosexuality, and how have these
beliefs influenced your attitudes, perspectives, and behaviors towards your
son? Have your beliefs changed over time?

63
63
6. How do you cope with potential social stigma or discrimination directed
toward your gay son? Are there any specific strategies or actions you take to
protect him?

Interview Guide Questions

Questions Answer

64
64
What are your initial thoughts and
feelings when you knew that your son
identified as gay? Can you describe
your immediate reaction and any
concerns that came up for you?

2. How did you approach your child after

he came out as gay? Does it affect or
result in a gap in your father-son
relationship?

3. How did you navigate your

relationship with your child after he
came out as gay?

3. Can you share any specific instances

or examples of social stigma or
discrimination that you and your son
have faced due to his sexual
orientation? How did you react as a
father upon facing those negative
reactions from other people?
4. What are your personal beliefs about
homosexuality, and how have these
beliefs influenced your attitudes,
perspectives, and behaviors towards
your son? Have your beliefs changed
over time?

5. How do you cope with potential social

stigma or discrimination directed toward
your gay son? Are there any specific
strategies or actions you take to protect
him?

Appendices B;

TRANSCRIPTION OF DATA
65
65
SOP 1: How did they react upon knowing that their son is gay?

Question 1: What are your initial thoughts and feelings when you knew that
your son identified as gay? Can you describe your immediate reaction and
any concerns that came up to you?

Participant 1: “Maging ano man at sino man ang anak ko, anak ko ‘yan eh.”

Participant 2: “Noong una ko nalaman nagulat ako eh. Hindi kasi kami
masyado naga usap ng anak ko tungkol sa sarili niya parang ano...hindi siya
naga open sa akin kaya noong nagsabi siya samin ni mama niya, nagulat
talaga ako pero hindi ko siya pinagalitan pagtapos niya magsabi samin.”

Participant 3: “Bata pa lang kasi ‘yan halata na sa mga galaw niya. Hindi
‘yan siya umamin sa akin na bata (*laugh). Na obserbahan ko lang sa mga
galaw niya kaya kahit hindi siya nagsabi sa akin alam ko at tanggap ko
naman siya.”

Participant 4: “Akig eh, alang-alang ano? Mangalipay ka bala nga bakla bata
mo? Ngita ka gani ka laki kay laki gusto mo.” (Galit eh, sa tingin mo ano?
Matutuwa ka ba na bakla ang anak mo? Naghahanap ka nga ng lalaking anak
kasi lalaking anak ang gusto mo.)

Participant 5: “Ang unang reaction ko ay galit kasi mahirap tanggapin na gay

ang anak ko pero nag laon tanggap na namain kasi anak namin siya.”

Participant 6: “Wala man siya nag amin ti ang galaw nila wala namang hilig
sa babae puro lalaki lang, ‘yon ‘yong ayaw ko baka hindi yan siya maka
asawa, wala mag-alaga sa kanya pagtanda kaya ayaw ko talaga na
magbakla siya. Matagal ko pa natanggap yan””

Participant 7: “Well, actually una palang itong mga bata alam ko na, isa pa
blood line eh. Linya namin ‘yan sa lahat ng mga pinsan ko, sa mga tito ko
lahat, meron kaming tomboy at bading pero sa side ng father ko talagang
malupit talaga hindi maganda ‘yong pinagdaanan ng kapatid ko. ‘yong sunod
kasi sa akin bading din so, parang kulang nalang ipasok sa sako at itapon sa
ilog. Pero sa akin walang problema, accept ko anak ko yan eh, ako nagpalaki,
ako ang kwan. Kailangan I guide mo kasi wala naman may gusto niyan eh,
ginusto na nila yan? Diba hindi? Walang makakapag predict diyan kung

66
66
anong resulta niyan, kung anong kinalabasan niyan I guide mo nalang, I
nurture mo nalang at least maging maganda yung buhay bandang huli. Hindi
naman kasalanan ang pagiging bakla diba?”

Question 2: How did you approach your child after he came out as gay?
Does it affect or result a gap between their father-son relationship?

67
67
Participant 1: “Well, basta sinabi ko noon sa anak ko kung ano man siya
tanggap ko at walang magbabago, mahal ko siya kahit bakla sya or ano siya.”

Participant 2: “Kinausap namin siya ng mama niya, hindi namin siya

pinagalitan. Sinabihan lang namin siya tapos kinausap tungkol sa pagiging
bakla niya kung kailan ba ‘yon nag umpisa bali wala mang negative na
nagbago sa relasyon namin na mag ama kay pinaramdam man namin sa
kanya na ayaw ay! hindi namin ayaw pala sa kanya dahil lang bakla siya.
Pagkatapos siya nag amin mas nag lalim pa ‘yong samahan namin kasi
meron na kami time minsan naga usap tungkol sa mga bagay bagay, sa sarili
niya ayon.”

Participant 3: “Wala mang naging problema sa relasyon namin.”

Participant 4: “Wala, bay-an mo nalang kay amo na na ang ila sitwasyon.”

(Wala, hayaan mo nalang kasi ganyan na talaga.)

Participant 5: “Ang una kinausap namin ng mama niya, na hindi siya

magdamit ng pang babae at mag make-up kasi hindi ka respitohin ng
karamihan.”

Participant 6: “Pinagagalitan ko yan palagi kay stikto gani ako sa kanila

palagi kaya siguro parang hindi siya malapit sa akin, matakot magsabi.”

Participant 7: “Actually, wala naman eh. Ako, alam ko na umpisa palang.

Alam ko na nakikita ko na sa galaw. Bata palang yan eh, 4 years old…5 years
old…alam ko na ma-determine mo na ma-tsek mo na ‘yan kung ah! May mga
sintomas na ito, positive na ito, confirm na ito nga, kung pag-uusapan linya
eh, linya yun. Approach...hindi ako nag approach…hinintay ko na siya ang
mag voice up na ganyan sya kagaya sa ikalawa kong babae tibulso rin siya
alam ko na bata pa alam ko na. Noong nagtanong siya sakin kong okay lang
sakanya mag boyfriend or girlfriend, bakit hindi? ‘As long as, masaya ka okay
‘yon walang problema doon’. Ganun din sakanila kumbaga hinintay ko na sila
yung magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob na mag open up sakin na ‘pa’ hindi na
kailangan sabihin alam ko na at saka naging biruhan namin dito sa bahay pag
meron pang isa kailangan obliga kana na magpakalalaki kasi parang ganun
‘yong naging biro nalang eh. Pagtanggap wala namang problema doon.

68
68
Approach…hinintay ko lang sila na magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob walang
gradzest walang…walang…walang masamang loob doon sa ano.”

Question 3: How did you navigate your relationship with your child after he
came out as gay?

69
69
Participant 1: “Ako naman icall ma’am, hindi naman ako old yung naga ano
ng old tradition bisexual, homosexual sakin walang pinagkaiba bakla babae
man o lalaki equal walang nagbago sa pakikitungo ko sa anak ko.”

Participant 2: “Pinaramdam namin pareho ng asawa ko sa anak namin na

gay na ‘nandito lang kami ah…’ na palagi ready kami makinig at saka mag
support sa kanya.”

Participant 3: “Wala, hindi siya nagdirect baa sakin na ‘pa bakla ako’ kahit
wala siya diretso na pag amin sa akin bilang papa niya, alam ko na at saka
ganoon parin naman trato ko sa kanya, walang nagbago. Trinato ko siya na
anak ko talaga.”

Participant 4: “Wala eh, kay syempre bata pa. Bal-an mo na…gamay pa siya
mo.” (Wala eh, syempre bata pa. Alam mo na…maliit pa siya.”

Participant 5: “Sinabihan na mapanatiling maging magsabi sa amin ng

totoong nararamdaman niya at huwag siyang magtago ng hindi namin gusto
‘kasi tinanggap ka namin na gay ka’.”

Participant 6: “Pinagagalitan na parang ginatanong kung totoo talaga na

bakla siya, hindi naman siya sumasagot. Kung malasing ako inaaway ko siya,
hinahanap ko kay pagagalitan at saka didisiplinahin ko. Nagagalit naman
‘yong misis ko ‘hayaan mo sila kung yan ang gusto nila’ sabi niya nakwa ko
met lang nga bakla talaga siya natanggap na siya ay bakla.”

Participant 7: “The same kung ano ‘yong pagtrato ko sa kanya ganoon parin
kung anong pagtrato ko sa mga lalaki ko, sabay kaming mag inom… Ako
kompleto ako eh, four seasons ako, may lalake, babae, bakla, tomboy,
kumpleto ako. Parang masaya pag tagay-tagay kami rito. Masaya walang
ano…kumbaga walang nabago…walang kailangan baguhin…. i-develop
nalang...hindi walang kailangan baguhin doon.”

Question 4: Can you share any specific instances or examples of social

stigma or discrimination that you and your gay son have faced due to his
sexual orientation? How did you react as a father upon facing those negative
reactions from other people?

70
70
Participant 1: “As of now, wala pa naman akong na encounter na
discrimination sa aking son who became a gay.”

Participant 2: “Syempre marami niyan, marami kami naririnig na ginasabi ng

mga tao diyan dahil sa pagiging bakla ni (xxxxxx). Pagkatapos niya kasi mag
sabi sa amin parang ging open na siya sa mga galaw kaya meron talaga
nasasabi ang tao… Bilang papa niya man masakit syempre para sa akin na
makarinig ng ganoon yung mga sinasabi nila sa anak ko. Alam ko…pati yan
siya nahurt syempre sa mga naririnig niya ginasiguro nalang talaga namin ng
mama niya na kahit ano mangyari ang mahalaga ‘tanggap ka namin, willing
kami mag support sa lahat ng bagay’.”

Participant 3: “Kung ako sa akin wala mang mabigat na ano ‘yon

discrimination, meron lang minsan may naga sabi ‘ayon si ano, may bading
na anak yan’ pero parang wala man lang ‘yon sa akin kay bakit pag may anak
akong bading? Wala mang magbago anak ko ‘yon parin.”

Participant 4: “Permaninti eh, kay lait-lait gid daan to nila (xxxxx) maakig ka
gid eh kay bata mo.” (Palagi eh, nilalait pa naman iyon nila (xxxxx) magalit ka
talaga eh kasi anak mo).

Participant 5: “Noong una marami nagasabi samin na ‘bakit daw gay ang
anak namin’ sabi ng iba pero sabi namin sa mga tao ‘kahit gay ang anak
turuan parin ng tamang asal at may takot sa diyos’.”

Participant 6: “Wala…ay! Meron...oo, meron gina tanong ako, bakit bakla

‘yang anak ko. Pati iyan siya, ‘yong bakla ko gina lait kay bakit daw bakla
siya, ginasabihan ko sila na ‘ti anong magagawa ko kung ‘yan ang gusto
nila?’ kahit pagalitan mo na sila na maglalaki na galaw, talagang ayaw man
talaga nila.”

Participant 7: “Well, ang sa akin pinagsasabihan ko sila na magkakaroon

talaga ng discrimination kahit saan kasi sa time ko nag-aaral pa kami ng
kapatid ko, hindi na mabilang ‘yong kaso ko sa eskwelahan dahil sa kanya
eh, kasi babastusin ‘yong parang insultuhin…parang di ko matanggap ‘yong
ganon so, ngayon sa time ko na nasa position ko na ‘yong mga anak ko may
ganon pinapaliwanagan ko sila na kailangan maging handa rin kayo.
Papaano kayo irerespeto kung kayo mismo hindi kayo nagpaparespeto kasi

71
71
sa mga tito ko may mga bading na pakawala bastusin talaga, may mga tito rin
naman ako na shy type syempre mga professional sila, dentist siya. Hindi
siya pwedeng mag basta-basta ka nalang magladlad nang magladlad diyan.
Una, pinapaliwanag ko sa kanila na ‘yong pag tanggap ng tao sa inyo
mapatrabaho man ‘yan mapa sa eskwelahan man ‘yan o community niyo man
‘yan, hindi magiging fair ang treatment kasi ganyan ka. Una palang may
discrimination na mangyayari sayo ‘ay yan pa bakla’ ‘yan’ ‘yan pa’ ‘tapos ‘yan
pa’ ‘ilalagay mo sa posisyon ‘ah, presidente namin bakla ‘ ‘ah, ganito’ ‘ganito,
ganyan ‘ so, kailangan maging siya ang maging matibay. So, ang sa side
namin as parents, ako bilang tatay, syempre masakit sakin ‘yon pero
kailangan maging handa ka kaso araw-araw mong paglalabanan ‘yang mga
tao na iyan kasi kuktya eh. Ipakita mo sa kanila na hindi ka dapat kutyahin.
Ipakita mo sakanila na hindi ka dapat nila basta-basta nalang iinsultuhin kasi
dapat irespeto ka din nila. Parang every day strive mo ‘yon kasi ganyan ka
may mga tao talaga na judgemental so, kailangan ‘yan ang pag-handaan mo
‘yong mga tao na ‘yon kasi hindi naman lahat sa community mo tanggap ka.
Tanggap kayo diba? So, kami nasa bahay lang kami or either nasa trabaho
man kami tanggap ‘yan walang problema. Ay! ako pa mismo nagsasabi na
bading ‘yong anak ko. Proud ako doon, anak ko yan eh, diba? Iyong iba
siguro baka hindi nila tanggap kaya magkakaroon ng mga problema,
diperensya sa pagtrato sa mga anak nila na bading pero sa akin?
Wala...tanggap ko na iyan, expected ko na nga ‘yan na magka-anak ako.
Naging siyam ‘yang mga ‘yan, imposibleng walang lalabas na bading diyan,
diba?”

Question 5: What are your personal beliefs about homosexuality, and how
have these beliefs influenced your attitudes, perspectives, and behaviors
towards your son? Have your beliefs changed or have they changed after
time?

72
72
Participant 1: “Well, gaya nga ng sinabi ko kanina wala pa akong na
encounter na discrimination sa anak kong bakla dahil magaling naman siya
hindi naman siya gaya ng ibang bakla. Swerte ako na nagkaroon ako ng anak
na bakla para lang kaming magkapatid. Open father po ako so, there’s no
problem about it ‘yon lang that’s all, thank you.”

Participant 2: “Dapat pantay pantay lahat ng trato sa bawat tao kahit ano pa
‘yang gender na gusto nila ah dapat pantay-pantay ang trato tapos tingin sa
kanila. Sana sa anak ko ganito rin ang tingin nila.”

Participant 3: “Meron din kasi akong dalawa na pinsan na binata doon sa

bario na bakla din, malapit ‘yon sila sa akin na mga bata kaya noong
nagkaroon ako mismo ng anak na bakla madali nalang sakin na tanggapin
siya.”

Participant 4: “Ah wala…, wala-wala may mag bag-o kay syempre bata mo
na, bag-uhon mo gid pag tan-aw mo sa bata mo?” (Ah wala…, walang may
mag bago syempre anak mo, baguhin mo talaga ang pagtingin mo sa anak
mo?)

Participant 5: “Hindi mag damit ng pangbabae at mag make up ang mga

lalaki pero kahit anong kung talagang gusto niya gawin sa katawan niya
support nalang kami sa kanya kasi ganyan namin kamahal ang anak namin.”

Participant 6: “Lahi man sa amin bakla pero noong una, ayaw ko talaga na
bakla yung anak ko kay gina isip ko kung magtanda sila wala mag-alaga na
asawa nila sa kanya. Ginapangamba ko ‘yon kaya ayaw ko talaga na
magbakla bakla siya pero ‘yon na talaga gusto niya, ano na magawa ko?
Kahit siguro saktan ko ‘yan, kung yan talaga gusto niya tanggapin nalang
namin kay mahirap man anak mo yun tapos ikaw pa na tatay niya ang mag
takwil sa kanya ayaw ko man noon.”

Participant 7: “Wala eh, gaya nga ng sinabi ko sayo kanina, umpisa pa lang
alam ko na, tinanggap ko na ‘yan, ang kailangan ko lang sa kanila…i-push ko
sila. Ipakita mong may galing ka, ipakita mo ‘yong potential mo, ipakita mo sa
kanila na karapat-dapat ka sa isang bagay na ma-involve ka o mapasama ka
sa community ng mga tao na ano , ata saka isa pa sa time natin ngayon may
mga LGBT na nga eh, may impluwensya na kayo diba? Kinikilala na kayo sa

73
73
gobyerno, kinikilala na kayo sa batas. May asosasyon na kayo…so, ang
kailangan lang doon sa kanila is maging open ang isip niyo sa mga bagay na
pag naka incounter kayo ng mga judgemental na tao pag dating sa
socializing, tanggap na eh. Tanggap na, hindi na ito 80’s hindi din ito 70’s na
pinapatay or kinukulong o ina ano ‘yan…inaabuso ‘yong mga bisexual or mga
third party. Well, wala na kayo. Tanggap na tanggap na kayo kahit nga pari
ngayon may bading, may nagkakas na lalake sa lalake at babae sa babae so,
siguro yan sa akin ‘yan ‘yong ano ko mindset ko sa sitwasyon namin kasi una,
blood line namin may meron din sa amin ‘yong may lumalabas talaga na
bading. Sa amin okay na iyong walang…. walang ano doon…. socializing…
depende na iyon pagdating sakanya kung paano nya ima-manuveur ‘yong
sarili nya pagdating sa mga tao.

Question 6: How do you cope up with potential social stigma or

discrimination directed toward your gay son? Are there any specific strategies
or actions you take to protect him?

Participant 1: (Mentioned from above that they didn’t encounter yet the social
stigma or discrimination from other people.)

74
74
Participant 2: “Naalala ko ‘yong reunion namin sa (xxxxxx) merong siyang
tito na ginsita siya kay bakit daw bakla siya tapos kung anu-ano pa gina sabi
gina jamming-jammingan niya ba. Nakita at saka narinig ko man ‘yon, parang
ano lang din nafeel ko lang din na iba effect noon sa anak. Kita ko talaga sa
mata niya na hindi niya gusto ‘yong sinabi ng tito niya syempre nakita ko man
pinalayo ko si (xxxxxxx) doon sa tito niya, ako nag kausap doon sinabihan ko
talaga ‘yon. Pinagalitan ko kay ‘kabastos ng bunganga mo’ kako sinabi ko
talaga na ganun hindi ko man mapigilan syempre anak ko gani, protektahan
ko talaga yan hindi ayos sa amin na gina ganyan lang ‘yang anak ko porket
bading kahit ganyan ‘yan mahal na mahal namin ‘yan ng mama niya. Masipag
siya mag aral wala kami naging problem sa kanya kay ginagawa niya ‘yong
mga responsibilities niya bilang anak, proud ako sa kanya sobra-sobra.”

Participant 3: “Noong bata pa yang si (xxxxx), syempre bata daw normal

lang ‘yong tuksuan. Ginasabihan ‘yan siya ng mga kalaro niya ng ‘bakla,
bakla’ tapos ‘yan siya naga-iyak nagalaban pa siya pag inaaway pero kay
tatay niya man ako, bilang tatay kapag ako mismo makakita na ginatawag
siya na ganoon pagalitan ko ‘yong bata eh sabihan lang…pero ngayon na
malaki na siya, wala naman akong mapansin na may naga-bully kay
(xxxxxx).”

Participant 4: “Protektahan na kay natural gina lait siya hindi man pwede nga
pabay-an mo, wala na siya sa sarili niya lang.” (Protektahan siya natural
nilalait na siya hindi naman pwedeng hayaan mo, hindi niya pa kayang
ipagtanggol ang sarili niya.)

Participant 5: “Protektahan at always namin ginasabi kahit ano pa siya

tanggap namin ng kanyang mama basta maging maasyos siya at hindi
pabayaan ang kanyang pag aaral.”

Participant 6: “Sabihan ko sila eh, na ‘wala kayong pakialam’ kung gusto nila
yun wala akong magagawa kung ganoon na talaga gusto niya.”

Participant 7: “Well, sa pagprotekta…siguro bilang tatay, pagnakikita mong

binabastos na syempre ibang usapan na iyon, pagsabihan mo then ipaintindi
mo sa anak mo bakit siya ginanyan, bakit nya ginawa sayo ang ganyan, baka
naman may rason kung bakit ka…ah…pinaglalaruan diyan…so, sa mga

75
75
discrimination siya ang unang humaharap niyan kasi kayo ang nasa field eh,
kayo ang humaharap sa tao, kayo ang unang nakaka-encounter niyan. Kami,
second party nalang kami ng ‘Pa, ako binabastos ako doon’ ‘Pa, si ano
ganito, ganyan’ so, kailangan maging matatag din kayo diyan kasi ang
community hindi nga natin masasabing lahat pabor satin may ayaw sayo,
may tanggap kayo ‘yong iba nakiki-blend in nalang. Ang sistema kasi natin,
modern na tayo. Digital age na tayo, hindi na pinag-uusapan ‘yonh kung
anong status mo, at kung ano ka ba. Abunda…Vice Ganda… mga big time
na, marami ng mga sikat na gay people or mga celebrity…so, siguro sa akin
para ma protektahan ko sila, kailangan maging aware din sila. Support nalang
ako sa kanila sa kung saan sila masaya. Sige! Sige! Tiuloy lang! I push mo
lang yung gusto mo. As long as, hindi ka nakakasagasa o nakakatapak ng
ibang tao, iyan lang man ang importante doon eh, para ka namang sa kapwa
mo parehas mong lalake, parehas mong babae. Pakikisama at pakikitungo sa
tao ng maganda at maayos rerespetuhin ka pabalik pero wag kang aasa na
lahat meron kasi may tarantado talaga diyan na bugok talaga ang utak. Iyon
nga lang, kayo kailangan maging wise din kayo kasi well known ang mga
bading na nilalapitan ng mga lalaki dahil syempre may pera kayo either ito
may kailangan o may ipapagawa sayo, parang may laging may motive, hindi
iyon lalapit na…as per play lang…na ganoon lang meron talagang…ano…
diyan at sama minsan alam mo naman yung utak ng tao madumi talaga.
Siguro from the first question up to the last question parang halos lahat
pareparehas lang din ang dating parang umikot lang eh pero yung point diyan
is kayo ang mag ma-manuveur ng sarili niyo kayo ang nakikitungo
nakikiharap sa ibang tao, kami guide lang kung papaano namin kayo
madedepensahan, depende ‘yan sa sitwasyon. Hanggang advice muna tayo
pero pagka medyo pangit na ‘yong dating idaan natin sa legal moves ‘yan
para walang samahan ng loob, mas maganda ‘yong lahat ng ginagawa natin
naayon at saka hindi kayo nakakasagasa ng ibang tao.

76
76
Appendices C.
Data Analysis Scheme
Statement of the Data Source of Method of Data
Problem Set Data Data Analysis
Collection Technique

77
77
1.How did they react Father with In-depth Thematic
upon knowing that Gay Child Interview and Analysis
their son is gay? Paper and
Pencil
2. What are the Father with In-depth Thematic
challenges faced by Gay Child Interview and Analysis
fathers with gay child Paper and
in terms of; Pencil
2.1 Social stigma
2.2. Discrimination
3. What are the Father with In-depth Thematic
beliefs held by fathers Gay Child Interview and Analysis
with gay child Paper and
regarding Pencil
homosexuality, and
do these beliefs
shape their
perspective, attitudes,
and behavior towards
their child?
4. What strategies do In-depth Thematic
the participants use to Interview and Analysis
Father with
cope with potential Paper and
Gay Child
social stigma or Pencil
discrimination
directed towards their
gay child?

Appendices D:
Data Set Analysis

Through His Father’s Eyes: Disclosing the Perspective of Father’s with

Gay Child

78
78
 Text segment Code/Concept Theme

SOP1: How did they

react upon knowing that
1. Initial Surprise
their son is gay?
and
P1: “Maging ano
Adjustments:
man at sino man
P1: “Maging ano man at ang anak ko, anak - Participant 2:
sino man ang anak ko, ko ‘yan eh.”
When they first found
anak ko ‘yan eh.”
out, they were
surprised.”

P2:“Noong una ko
P2: "Noong una ko
nalaman nagulat ako eh.
nalaman nagulat 2. Disapproval and
Hindi kasi kami masyado
ako eh... nagulat Fear:
naga usap ng anak ko
talaga ako pero
- Participant 4:
tungkol sa sarili niya
hindi ko siya
parang ano...hindi siya They got angry,
pinagalitan
naga open sa akin kaya questioning the
pagtapos niya
noong nagsabi siya samin purpose and
magsabi samin."
ni mama niya, nagulat expressing fear about
talaga ako pero hindi ko having a gay child.
siya pinagalitan pagtapos
niya magsabi samin.” P3: "Na-obserbahan
ko lang sa mga
3. Acceptance:
galaw niya kaya
P3:“Bata pa lang kasi ‘yan
kahit hindi siya - Participant 1:
halata na sa mga galaw
nagsabi sa akin, They believe that
niya. Hindi ‘yan siya
alam ko at tanggap regardless of who or
umamin sa akin na bata
ko naman siya." what their child is, they
(*laugh). Na obserbahan
ko lang sa mga galaw niya are still their child.
kaya kahit hindi siya - Participant 3:
nagsabi sa akin alam ko at

79
79
tanggap ko naman siya.” P4: "Akig eh, alang- They observed their
alang ano? child’s actions and
Mangalipay ka bala behaviors, leading
P4: “Akig eh, alang-alang
nga bakla bata mo? them to accept their
ano? Mangalipay ka bala
Ngita ka gani ka laki child even without
nga bakla bata mo? Ngita
kay laki gusto mo." explicit confession.
ka gani ka laki kay laki
- Participant 5:
gusto mo.” (Galit eh, sa
tingin mo ano? Matutuwa Their initial reaction
ka ba na bakla ang anak was anger, but
P5: "Ang unang
mo? Naghahanap ka nga eventually, they
reaction ko ay galit
ng lalaking anak kasi accepted their child
kasi mahirap
lalaking anak ang gusto because they are their
tanggapin na gay
mo.) child.
ang anak ko pero
naglaon tanggap na -Participant 6:
namain kasi anak
P5:“Ang unang reaction ko Though the son didn’t
namin siya."
ay galit kasi mahirap confess but based on
tanggapin na gay ang anak their behavior having
ko pero nag laon tanggap no interest with girls,
na namain kasi anak the father already
namin siya.” accepted it.
P6: "Wala man siya
- Participant 7:
nag-amin, ti ang
P6:“Wala man siya nag They fully accept their
galaw nila wala
amin ti ang galaw nila wala children because they
namang hilig sa
namang hilig sa babae raised them and take
babae puro lalaki
puro lalaki lang, ‘yon ‘yong responsibility for their
lang…matagal ko
ayaw ko baka hindi yan upbringing.
pa na tanggap yan”
siya maka asawa, wala
mag-alaga sa kanya
pagtanda kaya ayaw ko P7: “Walang
talaga na magbakla siya. problema, accept ko
Matagal ko pa natanggap anak ko yan eh, ako
yan” nagpalaki, ako ang

80
80
 kwan… Kailangan i-
guide mo kasi wala
P7: “Well, actually una
naman may gusto
palang itong mga bata
niyan eh…”
alam ko na, isa pa blood
line eh. Linya namin ‘yan
sa lahat ng mga pinsan ko,
sa mga tito ko lahat, meron
kaming tomboy at bading
pero sa side ng father ko
talagang malupit talaga
hindi maganda ‘yong
pinagdaanan ng kapatid ko
. ‘yong sunod kasi sa akin
bading din so, parang
kulang nalang ipasok sa
sako at itapon sa ilog. Pero
sa akin walang problema,
accept ko anak ko yan eh,
ako nagpalaki, ako ang
kwan. Kailangan I guide
mo kasi wala naman may
gusto niyan eh, ginusto na
nila yan? Diba hindi?
Walang makakapag
predict diyan kung anong
resulta niyan, kung anong
kinalabasan niyan I guide
mo nalang, I nurture mo
nalang at least maging
maganda yung buhay
bandang huli. Hindi naman
kasalanan ang pagiging
bakla diba?”

81
81
SOP 2: What are the 1. Lack of Personal
challenges faced by Experiences with
P1: “As of now, wala
fathers with gay children Discrimination:
pa naman akong na
in terms of;
encounter na - Participant 1
discrimination sa
They that they have not
aking son who
2.1. Social stigma encountered
became gay.”
discrimination towards
their gay child.
2.2. Discrimination
P2: “Syempre
marami niyan,
Social Stigma:
P1: “As of now, wala pa marami kami
naman akong na naririnig na ginasabi
2.1. Negative Talk:
encounter na ng mga tao diyan
discrimination sa aking son dahil sa pagiging - Participant 2
who became a gay.” bakla ni (xxxxxx)… Shares their distress
Bilang papa niya over the negative
man masakit comments and
P2: “Syempre marami
syempre para sa remarks made by
niyan, marami kami
akin na makarinig people about their gay
naririnig na ginasabi ng
ng ganoon yung child, causing
mga tao diyan dahil sa
mga sinasabi nila sa emotional pain as a
pagiging bakla ni (xxxxxx).
anak ko.” parent.
Pagkatapos niya kasi mag
sabi sa amin parang ging
open na siya sa mga P3:”Kung ako sa 2.2. Derogatory
galaw kaya meron talaga akin wala mang Comments and
nasasabi ang tao… Bilang mabigat na ano ‘yon Judgment:
papa niya man masakit discrimination,
- Participant 4
syempre para sa akin na meron lang minsan
makarinig ng ganoon yung may naga sabi They express
mga sinasabi nila sa anak ‘ayon si ano, may frustration and anger
ko. Alam ko…pati yan siya bading na anak yan’ towards the continuous
nahurt syempre sa mga pero parang wala derogatory comments

82
82
naririnig niya ginasiguro man lang ‘yon sa and judgment they face
nalang talaga namin ng akin kay bakit pag regarding their child’s
mama niya na kahit ano may anak akong homosexuality, as it
mangyari ang mahalaga bading? Wala mang directly involves their
‘tanggap ka namin, willing magbago anak ko own child.
kami mag support sa lahat ‘yon parin.”
- Participant 3
ng bagay’.”
It mentions the
P4: “Permaninti eh, presence of comments
P3: “Kung ako sa akin kay lait-lait gid daan like “Oh, they have a
wala mang mabigat na ano to nila (xxxxx) gay child,” but
‘yon discrimination, meron maakig ka gid eh emphasizes that such
lang minsan may naga kay bata mo.” remarks do not affect
sabi ‘ayon si ano, may their acceptance of
bading na anak yan’ pero their child.
P5: “Noong una
parang wala man lang ‘yon
- Participant 7
marami nagasabi
sa akin kay bakit pag may
samin na ‘bakit daw The participant
anak akong bading? Wala
gay ang anak highlights the
mang magbago anak ko
namin?” occurrence of
‘yon parin.”
discrimination right
P6: “Wala…ay!
from the beginning,
Meron…oo, meron
P4: “Permaninti eh, kay where people label or
gina tanong ako,
lait-lait gid daan to nila judge individuals based
bakit bakla ‘yang
(xxxxx) maakig ka gid eh on their sexual
anak ko. Pati iyan
kay bata mo.” (Palagi eh, orientation, such as
siya, ‘yong bakla ko
nilalait pa naman iyon nila saying “ayan pa, bakla
gina lait kay bakit
(xxxxx) magalit ka talaga ‘yan” or making
daw bakla siya,
eh kasi anak mo). assumptions and
ginasabihan ko sila
comments about their
na ‘ti anong
capabilities or
magagawa ko kung
P5: “Noong una marami
suitability for certain
‘yan ang gusto nila?’
nagasabi samin na ‘bakit
positions.
kahit pagalitan mo
daw gay ang anak namin’
na sila na maglalaki
sabi ng iba pero sabi

83
83
namin sa mga tao ‘kahit na galaw, talagang
gay ang anak turuan parin ayaw man talaga
Discrimination:
ng tamang asal at may nila.”
takot sa diyos’.”
3.1. Prejudice:

P6: “Wala…ay! Oo meron

P7: “Ay! Ako pa
- Participant 2
ganyan…oo, meron gina
mismo nagsasabi
tanong ako, bakit bakla They are experiencing
na bading ‘yong
‘yang anak ko. Pati iyan discrimination directed
anak ko. Proud ako
siya, ‘yong bakla ko gina at their child due to
doon, anak ko yan
lait kay bakit daw bakla their homosexuality,
eh,…tanggap ko na
siya, ginasabihan ko sila highlighting the hurtful
iyan, expected ko
na ‘ti anong magagawa ko things people say
na nga ‘yan na
kung ‘yan ang gusto nila?’ about their child.
magka-anak ako.
kahit pagalitan mo na sila - Participant 6
na maglalaki na galaw,
Describes
talagang ayaw man talaga
encountering
nila.” P7: “Una palang
questioning and
may discrimination
judgmental comments
na mangyayari sayo
P7: “Well, ang sa akin from others, attempting
‘ay yan pa bakla’
pinagsasabihan ko sila na to challenge their
‘yan’ ‘yan pa’ ‘tapos
magkakaroon talaga ng child’s sexual
‘yan pa’ ‘ilalagay mo
discrimination kahit saan orientation and
sa posisyon ‘ ‘ah,
kasi sa time ko nag-aaral expecting them to
presidente namin
pa kami ng kapatid ko, conform to traditional
bakla ‘ ‘ah, ganito’
hindi na mabilang ‘yong gender norms.
‘ganito, ganyan ‘ so,
kaso ko sa eskwelahan
kailangan maging
dahil sa kanya eh, kasi
siya ang maging .
babastusin ‘yong parang
matibay. “
insultuhin…parang di ko
matanggap ‘yong ganon
so, ngayon sa time ko na

84
84
nasa position ko na ‘yong “Ako bilang tatay,
mga anak ko may ganon syempre masakit
pinapaliwanagan ko sila na sakin ‘yon pero
kailangan maging handa kailangan maging
rin kayo. Papaano kayo handa ka kaso
irerespeto kung kayo araw-araw mong
mismo hindi kayo paglalabanan ‘yang
nagpaparespeto kasi sa mga tao na iyan
mga tito ko may mga kasi kuktya eh…
bading na pakawala Parang every day
bastusin talaga, may mga strive mo ‘yon kasi
tito rin naman ako na shy ganyan ka may mga
type syempre mga tao talaga na
professional sila, dentist judgemental
siya. Hindi siya pwedeng
mag basta-basta ka nalang
magladlad nang magladlad
diyan. Una, pinapaliwanag
ko sa kanila na ‘yong pag
tanggap ng tao sa inyo
mapatrabaho man ‘yan
mapa sa eskwelahan man
‘yan o community niyo
man ‘yan, hindi magiging
fair ang treatment kasi
ganyan ka. Una palang
may discrimination na
mangyayari sayo ‘ay yan
pa bakla’ ‘yan’ ‘yan pa’
‘tapos ‘yan pa’ ‘ilalagay mo
sa posisyon ‘ah,
presidente namin bakla ‘
‘ah, ganito’ ‘ganito, ganyan
‘ so, kailangan maging siya
85
85
ang maging matibay. So,
ang sa side namin as
parents, ako bilang tatay,
syempre masakit sakin
‘yon pero kailangan
maging handa ka kaso
araw-araw mong
paglalabanan ‘yang mga
tao na iyan kasi kuktya eh.
Ipakita mo sa kanila na
hindi ka dapat kutyahin.
Ipakita mo sakanila na
hindi ka dapat nila basta-
basta nalang iinsultuhin
kasi dapat irespeto ka din
nila. Parang every day
strive mo ‘yon kasi ganyan
ka may mga tao talaga na
judgemental so, kailangan
‘yan ang pag-handaan mo
‘yong mga tao na ‘yon kasi
hindi naman lahat sa
community mo tanggap ka.
Tanggap kayo diba? So,
kami nasa bahay lang
kami or either nasa
trabaho man kami tanggap
‘yan walang problema. Ay!
Ako pa mismo nagsasbai
na bading ‘yong anak ko.
Proud ako doon, anak ko
yan eh, diba? Iyong iba
siguro baka hindi nila
tanggap kaya
86
86
magkakaroon ng mga
problema, diperensya sa
pagtrato sa mga anak nila
na bading pero sa akin?
Wala…tanggap ko na iyan,
expected ko na nga ‘yan
na magka-anak ako.
Naging siyam ‘yang mga
‘yan, imposibleng walang
lalabas na bading diyan,
diba?”

1. Acceptance and
Appreciation:
P1: “Gaya nga ng
sinabi ko kanina - Participant 1:
wala pa akong na
They haven’t
encounter na
encountered
discrimination sa
discrimination against
anak kong bakla
their gay child and
dahil magaling
appreciate that their
naman siya hindi
child is different from
naman siya gaya ng
other gay individuals.
ibang bakla.”
They have an open
mindset and see no
problem with their
P2: “Dapat pantay
child’s sexual
pantay lahat ng trato
sa bawat tao kahit

87
87
ano pa ‘yang gender orientation.
na gusto nila ah
dapat pantay-pantay
ang trato tapos
tingin sa kanila.”

P3: “Meron din kasi 2. Religious or

akong dalawa na Cultural Beliefs
pinsan na binata - Participant 5:
doon sa bario na
They prioritize their
bakla din, malapit
child’s well-being and
‘yon sila sa akin na
happiness over
mga bata kaya
societal norms,
noong nagkaroon
supporting their child’s
ako mismo ng anak
choices, even if it
na bakla madali
means devIating from
nalang sakin na
traditional gender
tanggapin siya.”
expectations.

- Participant 6:

Initially, they were

P5: “Hindi magdamit against their child
ng pangbabae at being gay due to
mag make up ang concerns about future
mga lalaki pero care and
kahit anong kung companionship.
talagang gusto niya However, they
gawin sa katawan eventually accepted
niya support nalang their child’s identity,
kami” acknowledging the
difficulty of rejecting
their own child
P6: “Lahi man sa

88
88
 amin bakla pero
noong una, ayaw ko
talaga na bakla
yung anak ko”

P7: “Blood line

namin may meron
din sa amin ‘yong 3. Equality and Fair
may lumalabas Treatment:
talaga na bading.
- Participant 2:
Sa amin okay na
iyong walang…. They believe that
walang ano doon.” everyone should be
treated equally
regardless of their
P7: “Ang kailangan gender or sexual
lang doon sa kanila orientation. They hope
is maging open ang others will view their
isip niyo sa mga child in the same way.
bagay na pag naka
encounter kayo ng
mga judgemental na 4. Familiarity and
tao pag dating sa Personal Experience:
socializing, tanggap - Participant 3:
na eh… Tanggap
They have other gay
na, hindi na ito 80’s
relatives in their
hindi din ito 70’s na
community, which
pinapatay or
makes it easier for
kinukulong o ina
them to accept their
ano ‘yan… inaabuso
own gay child. Their
‘yong mga bisexual
personal exposure to
or mga third party…
homosexuality helps
siguro yan sa akin
them embrace their

89
89
 ‘yan ‘yong ano ko child’s identity.
mindset ko sa
- Participant 7:
sitwasyon namin
The fathers draw from
kasi una, blood line
their own family
namin may meron
experiences, stating
din sa amin ‘yong
that within their
may lumalabas
bloodline, there have
talaga na bading.
been instances of
Sa amin okay na
individuals who identify
iyong walang…
as gay. They express
walang ano doon…
that their family is
socializing…
accepting and does not
depende na iyon
impose any specific
pagdating sakanya
expectations or
kung paano nya
constraints on their
ima-manuveur ‘yong
child’s socialization.
sarili nya pagdating
sa mga tao.”

5. Resistance to
Change:

- Participant 4:

They express a
resistant attitude,
questioning if a father’s
perspective on their
child can be changed
and suggesting that it
may be challenging.

SOP 4: What strategies 1.Immediate

do the participants use Intervention and
P2: “Nakita ko
to cope with potential Protection:
talaga sa mata niya
social stigma or
na hindi niya gusto - Participant 2:

90
90
discrimination directed ‘yong sinabi ng tito Intervened and
towards their gay niya… Pinagalitan confronted a relative
children? ko kay ‘kabastos ng who made derogatory
bunganga mo’ kako comments, protecting
sinabi ko talaga na the child and
P1: (Mentioned from above
ganun.” expressing
that they didn’t encounter
disapproval.
“syempre anak ko
yet the social stigma or
gani, protektahan ko
discrimination from other
talaga yan hindi
people.)
ayos sa amin na
- Participant 3
gina ganyan lang
Participant responded
P2:” Naalala ko ‘yong ‘yang anak ko “
to childhood teasing
reunion namin sa (xxxxxx)
and name-calling,
merong siyang tito na
P3: Noong bata pa supported the child
ginsita siya kay bakit daw
yang si (xxxxx), emotionally, and
bakla siya tapos kung anu-
syempre bata daw intervened when
ano pa gina sabi gina
normal lang ‘yong necessary.
jamming-jammingan niya
tuksuan.
ba. Nakita at saka narinig - Participant 7:
Ginasabihan ‘yan
ko man ‘yon, parang ano Suggested legal
siya ng mga kalaro
lang din nafeel ko lang din actions if the situation
niya ng ‘bakla,
na iba effect noon sa anak. escalates and
bakla’ tapos ‘yan
Kita ko talaga sa mata niya emphasized the
siya wala naga-iyak
na hindi niya gusto ‘yong importance of
nagalaban pa siya
sinabi ng tito niya syempre conducting oneself in a
pag inaaway pero
nakita ko man pinalayo ko manner that avoids
kay tatay niya man
si (xxxxxxx) doon sa tito harm to others.
ako, bilang tatay
niya, ako nag kausap doon
-Participant 4:
kapag ako mismo
sinabihan ko talaga ‘yon.
makakita na The participant
Pinagalitan ko kay
ginatawag siya na emphasizes the need
‘kabastos ng bunganga
ganoon pagalitan ko to protect their gay
mo’ kako sinabi ko talaga
‘yong bata eh child from the natural
na ganun hindi ko man
sabihan lang…pero tendency of people to

91
91
mapigilan syempre anak ngayon na malaki criticize and demean
ko gani, protektahan ko na siya, wala naman them.
talaga yan hindi ayos sa akong mapansin na
-Participant 6:
amin na gina ganyan lang may naga-bully kay
tell the gossipy people
‘yang anak ko porket (xxxxxx).”
that they don’t care if
bading kahit ganyan ‘yan
their son is gay, there’s
mahal na mahal namin
P4: “Protektahan na nothing they can do
‘yan ng mama niya.
kay natural gina lait because that’s what he
Masipag siya mag aral
siya hindi man really wants.
wala kami naging problem
pwede nga pabay-
sa kanya kay ginagawa
an mo, wala na siya
niya ‘yong mga 2. Teaching
sa sarili niya lang.”
responsibilities niya bilang Resilience and
anak, proud ako sa kanya Self-Defense:
sobra-sobra.” P5: “Protektahan at - Participant 3:
always namin
Taught the child to
ginasabi kahit ano
P3:“Noong bata pa yang si stand up for
pa siya tanggap
(xxxxx), syempre bata daw themselves when
namin ng kanyang
normal lang ‘yong tuksuan. faced with teasing or
mama basta maging
Ginasabihan ‘yan siya ng bullying.
maasyos siya at
mga kalaro niya ng ‘bakla, 3. Emotional
hindi pabayaan ang
bakla’ tapos ‘yan siya wala Support:
kanyang pag-aaral.”
naga-iyak nagalaban pa
siya pag inaaway pero kay
- Participant 5:
tatay niya man ako, bilang P6: “Sabihan ko sila
tatay kapag ako mismo Provided emotional
eh, na ‘wala kayong
makakita na ginatawag support and
pakialam’ kung
siya na ganoon pagalitan emphasized the
gusto nila yun wala
ko ‘yong bata eh sabihan importance of the
akong magagawa
lang…pero ngayon na child’s well-being.
kung ganoon na
malaki na siya, wala talaga gusto niya.” 4. Creating
naman akong mapansin na Awareness:
may naga-bully kay

92
92
(xxxxxx).” P7: “Pagnakikita - Participant 7:
mong binabastos na Acknowledged the
syempre ibang presence of
P4:“Protektahan na kay
usapan na iyon, discrimination in
natural gina lait siya hindi
pagsabihan mo then society, advised
man pwede nga pabay-an
ipaintindi mo sa caution, and
mo, wala na siya sa sarili
anak mo bakit siya emphasized the
niya lang.” (Protektahan
ginanyan… para ka importance of
siya natural nilalait na siya
namang sa kapwa respectful interaction.
hindi naman pwedeng
mo parehas mong
hayaan mo, hindi niya pa
lalake, parehas
kayang ipagtanggol ang
mong babae.”
sarili niya.)

“Siguro sa akin para

P5:“Protektahan at always
ma protektahan ko
namin ginasabi kahit ano
sila, kailangan
pa siya tanggap namin ng
maging aware din
kanyang mama basta
sila. Support nalang
maging maasyos siya at
ako sa kanila sa
hindi pabayaan ang
kung saan sila
kanyang pag aaral.”
masaya.”

P6:“Sabihan ko sila eh, na

‘wala kayong pakialam’
kung gusto nila yun wala
akong magagawa kung
ganoon na talaga gusto
niya.”

P7: “Well, sa
pagprotekta…siguro bilang
tatay, pagnakikita mong

93
93
binabastos na syempre
ibang usapan na iyon,
pagsabihan mo then
ipaintindi mo sa anak mo
bakit siya ginanyan, bakit
nya ginawa sayo ang
ganyan, baka naman may
rason kung bakit ka…ah…
pinaglalaruan diyan…so,
sa mga discrimination siya
ang unang humaharap
niyan kasi kayo ang nasa
field eh, kayo ang
humaharap sa tao, kayo
ang unang nakaka-
encounter niyan. Kami,
second party nalang kami
ng ‘Pa, ako binabastos ako
doon’ ‘Pa, si ano ganito,
ganyan’ so, kailangan
maging matatag din kayo
diyan kasi ang community
hindi nga natin
masasabing lahat pabor
satin may ayaw sayo, may
tanggap kayo ‘yong iba
nakiki-blend in nalang. Ang
sistema kasi natin, modern
na tayo. Digital age na
tayo, hindi na pinag-
uusapan ‘yonh kung anong
status mo, at kung ano ka
ba. Abunda…Vice
Ganda… mga big time na,
94
94
marami ng mga sikat na
gay people or mga
celebrity…so, siguro sa
akin para ma protektahan
ko sila, kailangan maging
aware din sila. Support
nalang ako sa kanila sa
kung saan sila masaya.
Sige! Sige! Tiuloy lang! I
push mo lang yung gusto
mo. As long as, hindi ka
nakakasagasa o
nakakatapak ng ibang tao,
iyan lang man ang
importante doon eh, para
ka namang sa kapwa mo
parehas mong lalake,
parehas mong babae.
Pakikisama at pakikitungo
sa tao ng maganda at
maayos rerespetuhin ka
pabalik pero wag kang
aasa na lahat meron kasi
may tarantado talaga diyan
na bugok talaga ang utak.
Iyon nga lang, kayo
kailangan maging wise din
kayo kasi well known ang
mga bading na nilalapitan
ng mga lalaki dahil
syempre may pera kayo
either ito may kailangan o
may ipapagawa sayo,
parang may laging may
95
95
motive, hindi iyon lalapit
na…as per play lang…na
ganoon lang meron
talagang…ano…diyan at
sama minsan alam mo
naman yung utak ng tao
madumi talaga. Siguro
from the first question up
to the last question parang
halos lahat pareparehas
lang din ang dating parang
umikot lang eh pero yung
point diyan is kayo ang
mag ma-manuveur ng
sarili niyo kayo ang
nakikitungo nakikiharap sa
ibang tao, kami guide lang
kung papaano namin kayo
madedepensahan,
depende ‘yan sa
sitwasyon. Hanggang
advice muna tayo pero
pagka medyo pangit na
‘yong dating idaan natin sa
legal moves ‘yan para
walang samahan ng loob,
mas maganda ‘yong lahat
ng ginagawa natin naayon
at saka hindi kayo
nakakasagasa ng ibang
tao.”

96
96
.

CURRICULUM VITAE

A. PERSONAL BACKGROUND
Name: RIAN SHANE G. DEL MONTE
Date of Birth: JULY 24, 2006
Place of Birth: PASIG CITY
Grade and Section: GRADE 11-ELECTRON
School: SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING, AND MATHEMATICS,
TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, TACURONG CITY

B. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Elementary: KAPINGKONG CENTRAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Date Graduated: APRIL 4, 2018
Secondary (JHS): KAPINGKONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Date Graduated: JUNE 28, 2022
Secondary (SHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Status: CURRENTLY ENROLLED

C. FAMILY BACKGROUND
Father’s Name: RENAN T. DEL MONTE
Mother’s Name: RAQUEL G. DEL MONTE
Home Address: PUROK PAGKAKAISA, TAMBAK, LAMBAYONG, SULTAN
KUDARAT

97
97
 A. PERSONAL BACKGROUND
Name: MONIQUE SOPHIA C. LAWAN
Date of Birth: AUGUST 25, 2006
Place of Birth: TACURONG CITY, SULTAN KUDARAT
Grade and Section: GRADE 11-ELECTRON
School: SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING, AND MATHEMATICS,
TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, TACURONG CITY

B. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Elementary: TACURONG PILOT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Date Graduated: APRIL 4, 2018
Secondary (JHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Date Graduated: JULY 7, 2022
Secondary (SHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Status: CURRENTLY ENROLLED

C. FAMILY BACKGROUND
Father’s Name: MOHAMAD LAWAN
Mother’s Name: CORSINI LAWAN
Siblings: VINCE ALEXIS LAWAN & APLLE MAE LAWAN
Home Address: PUROK SARANAY, SAN PABLO, TACURONG CITY

98
98
 A. PERSONAL BACKGROUND
Name: KYLA ASHLEY F. BALAYON
Date of Birth: JANUARY 12,2006
Place of Birth: TACURONG CITY, SULTAN KUDARAT
Grade and Section: GRADE 11 -ELECTRON
School: SCIENCE TECHNOLOGY ENGINEERING AND MATHEMATICS,
TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, TACURONG CITY

B. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Elementary: TACURONG PILOT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Date Graduate: APRIL 4,2018
Secondary (JHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Date Graduated: JULY 7,2022
Secondary (SHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Status: CURRENTLY ENROLLED

C. FAMILY BACKGROUND
Father’s Name: ERWIN T. BALAYON
Mother’s Name: MRS. MARIAM T. FLORES
Sibling: ALLYSON MAE CLAIRE F. BALAYON
Home Address: SARANAY, SAN PABLO TACURONG CITY

99
99
 A. PERSONAL BACKGROUND
Name: ANGEL ROSE P. NARCEÑA
Date of Birth: JULY 9, 2006
Place of Birth: TACURONG CITY, SULTAN KUDARAT
Grade and Section: GRADE 11-ELECTRON
School: SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING, AND MATHEMATICS,
TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, TACURONG CITY

B. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Elementary: TACURONG PILOT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Date Graduated: APRIL 4, 2018
Secondary (JHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Date Graduated: JULY 7, 2022
Secondary (SHS): TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Status: CURRENTLY ENROLLED

C. FAMILY BACKGROUND
Father’s Name: FILIZARDO S. NARCEÑA
Mother’s Name: ROSANA P. NARCEÑA
Siblings: PRICELLA P. NARCEÑA & ALEXANDER P. NARCEÑA
Home Address: PUROK BAGONG SILANG, GRIÑO, TACURONG CITY

100
100
 A. PERSONAL BACKGROUND
Name: DARWIN M. SALILAMA
Date of Birth: DECEMBER 1, 2005
Place of Birth: TACURONG CITY
Grade and Section: GRADE 11 – ELECTRON
School: SCIENCE, TECHNOLOGY, ENGINEERING, AND MATHEMATICS,
TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, TACURONG CITY

B. EDUCATIONAL BACKGROUND
Elementary: AMADO FERNANDEZ SR. CENTRAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
Date Graduated: APRIL 2018
Secondary (JHS): SAN PABLO NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL
Date Graduated: 2022
Secondary (SHS): SCIENCE TECHNOLOGY ENGINEERING
AND
MATHEMATICS, TACURONG NATIONAL HIGH SCHOOL, TACURONG
CITY
Status: CURRENTLY ENROLLED

C. FAMILY BACKGROUND
Father’s Name: AKMAD B. SALILAMA
Mother’s Name: SAMRA M. SALILAMA
Siblings: ALAISA MAE M. SALILAMA & JERIC M. SALILAMA
Home Address: PUROK BALADSIKAN, SAN EMMANUEL TACURONG
CITY

101
101
 102
102