Steve,

I’ve never written a love poem for anyone, so this is yet another first for me. I just had to share my
thoughts and feelings, hoping you appreciate where I’m coming from.

These thoughts come from my heart.

With all my love,

La

Steve,

My precious

Where do I begin?

To explain the deep love and connection I feel with you

Cherished moments in our cocoon… I never could have dreamed of such an incredible connection

Emotional, intellectual, physical, values, hopes, dreams

I love making love with you

I love talking about anything and everything with you

The world, life, good and bad, our kids, funny things, sad things, serious talk, nonsense, our hopes and
our dreams

Our daily calls over the past two months. The crises, the triumphs, small talk, raw emotions

Sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, fears

My safe place, the yin to my yang, those kind eyes, always playful, understanding.

You were the highlight of my day,

My drug of choice… I never wanted our calls to end. No matter how tired I was. Or you were.

I see you, and you see me…

Though we only had 10 days together, that time was enough for me to know

I think that’s why I was scared

And yet we jumped in, like off a cliff,

Though it felt more like flying, more like a beautiful dream.

I felt so vulnerable and yet so loved.

Like never before.

I found myself thinking of you constantly.

Everywhere I turned and everything I saw in a day, I wanted to share with you.

And so I continued to fall deeper and deeper in love with you.

Your amazing heart. Your insights. Your understanding. Your kindness. Your love. Your generosity. Your
living life big. Your amazing parenting. Living for and in the moment. Your genius. Your free spirit. Your
adventurous nature. Your humour. Your confidence. Your kisses. Your caresses. You incredible love
making. Always honest with each other. Always sharing. Never hiding the truth from each other.

I have told you before, and I’ll tell you again

You are a truly remarkable human being. And I feel so blessed that we connect

And on such a profoundly deep and meaningful level.

I find myself in a position where I would literally move heaven and earth for you if I could.

And yet you feel tortured by your terrible, unfair childhood

And by painful things in your past

That you feel are unresolved.

And I understand that you have to deal with them

I so wish I didn’t…and I wish I could get angry and resentful … but I do.

I understand you.

I get you… you get me……..

So I understand that these are things you need to deal with

Feelings and issues that you need to resolve.

And so we find ourselves in this impossible, excruciating situation

Of letting go…

Letting go of a connection and a love so true and deep

That I had only ever dreamed of.

That I spent my whole life wondering about

I thought if I ever found it, I would never – literally never, let it go

And so we finally found each other.

It was nothing short of a miracle.

My love….

YOU are the man of my dreams

I wish that you could see yourself the way that I see you

The way that Liv sees you

The way that Mila and Chloe had begun to see you.

The way the kids you have taught, and fostered, taken an interest in and helped get educated, see you

And the way that so many people see you. It seems that whoever’s life you touch, becomes the richer
for it.

I wish that you didn’t feel the need to go somewhere new and anonymous to deal

To resolve

To discover yourself….

But Steve … my precious, beautiful, treasured love,

However painful this is for me, and for you

I do

I do understand.

And so I have let you go,

For now

And I hope that in letting you go

You are able to resolve the issues that have tortured you for so long

To forgive those who have so badly wronged you

Those who you opened up to and who hurt you

Those who you helped, and who turned around to hurt you.

Forgive them. Let go of the hurt, the disappointment and the anger. And then be able to move forward
with your life

With peace, love, forgiveness, acceptance

Knowing, understanding and appreciating what a special human being you are.

You said one of the reasons that you are so kind to people is because that way, they won’t hurt you.
But I think…. You are just an incredibly good person. Its inherent in your nature to be kind. I think your
parents had serious issues of their own, which they unfortunately took out on you. Not everyone is
meant to parent! They were incapable of love. Its not a reflection of you, my love!!! It’s a reflection of
them. You are so incredibly special and loved so very, very, very much. You need to accept this.

And so…. they brought you into this world… and you have changed and bettered SO MANY peoples lives.
We all see the unbelievable, unique, warm, loving person that you are. I cannot adequately express my
thoughts on this to you. You overcame the odds and have raised a phenomenal person, Liv. She is the
luckiest person alive, to have you as her father. The words escape me – they just don’t seem enough.

So my love, as I have told you many times… and yet maybe not enough times… I ADORE YOU. You are so
very LOVE-ABLE and ADORE-ABLE…

You are larger than life in so many ways

And you DESERVE to be loved and adored.

Part of me wonders if you stepped away from us because you aren’t sure if you deserve to be loved...?

And I want you to know

And I’ll say it again…

That you so deserve to be loved

That I LOVE YOU

I love you stukkend

So deeply and truly and so deservingly

That with every fibre in my body

For the truly incredible human being that you are….

And most importantly….

Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

And so Steve

My love…

I have heard you

I have let you go.

Had I known what lay ahead, when we said goodbye in Joburg

I would have held you closer

Hugged you harder

Looked into those eyes for just a while longer….

It breaks my heart, perhaps more than you could possibly imagine or understand

I feel a tremendous void in my life

Your presence in my everyday thoughts

Each time I see something or think of something,

I hear a certain song

I feel the urge to want to share it with you

It’s ridonculous

My longing to see you, be with you, hold you

Make endless warm, passionate, connected love with you

The thought of being with you, still gives me crazy butterflies

Looking into those kind, warm eyes… filled with so much love and emotion.

And then I have to stop myself

Just let you be

And do

What you need to do.

But…

I can’t accept that we are meant to end like this

We are so blessed to have this amazing connection

I cannot just walk away forever

So I hope

And I pray

So desperately

That you will arrive at peace

And that one day

When the time is right

We can be together

Wherever

Whenever

I guess if we are meant to be together

And I believe we are

We have to be

Then we will find a way.

I am counting the sleeps until we see each other again.

I don’t know how many there are, or how it will be when we do see each other.

I only know that the thought of seeing you again, is the only thing that makes this whole thing bearable.

I will always leave the light on

My love