Student ID 202313

Student ID 202313

CRC 2023-24 W 3 Reflective Questions

Submission Date: 14/06/2023

Q1) Describe the steps you would take in order to work in an ethical manner when you suspect
that DA may be factor in a couple’s relationship (LO6).

I would read and be fully conversant with BACP Ethical framework alongside Marriage Care’s
Domestic Abuse Protocol (DAP) and follow the procedures carefully. If domestic abuse was disclosed
during a counselling session, I would invoke the Warm Authority Assessment procedure. This means
as a counsellor you direct all communication which stops the couple from communicating directly
with each other. This procedure is necessary since it creates a sense of safety for the victim. I would
then immediately inform my supervisor.

Q2) How might your own sexuality/sexual history impact on your ability to deal with sexual issues
in the counselling room (LO3), (LO4)

Sexuality usually refers to sexual orientation. Our society is not very flexible when it comes to
accepting sexuality or sexual practices which differ from the perceived cultural norm of heterosexual
sex. Sex in the counselling room refers to difficulties with sexual functioning including incomplete,
absent or inappropriate sexual responses which can cause distress. It is important therefore to
explore one’s own sexuality including any prejudices so that this issue does not become a block in
working with couples where sexual issues are a feature. We need to have self-awareness and
honesty about our feelings including sexual feelings, so nothing is triggered within a counselling
session. Supervision would be a good resource to discuss any potential dilemmas. In addition to this,
I would need to inform myself with accurate information about sexual issues which may get
presented in the counselling room. It is important to give the message to couple’s that sexual health
and happiness relies on a safe loving emotional bond. As counsellors our goal is to enable clients to
be confident speaking to each other about their sexual relationship, so we too need to be open,
comfortable, confident, and non-judgmental about raising and discussing sexual issues with them.

Q3) How might the use of a genogram in counselling increase your awareness of difference and
diversity (LO3)

Genograms are visual tools which share a family tree of at least three generations. It is used to give a
pictorial representation of a family’s system. It is a map of significant relationships and provides
information about age, gender, ethnicity and cultural origins. It may also include major life events
including emotional and social relationships. It highlights patterns and themes which may be
influencing present interactions between a couple. Counsellors need to be able to enter the clients
frame of reference and any inequalities that has impacted upon the client through their personal
histories including their social environment would be revealed through the genogram.
Student ID 202313

Q4) Reflecting on the skills practice this weekend, can you identify your strengths and areas for
development including your ability to empathise and stay with clients’ emotions. Give examples
from your practice (LO4), (LO5).

Empathy is the ability to be alongside the client and conveying to them you understand them and
the meanings they attach to life including their relationships. I thought regarding the skills practice
this weekend I did well. I was curious about the client’s stories particularly their feelings around
close relationships and I was able to stay with their emotions. I attempted to go beneath the surface
to discover if there were deeper problems.

I used clarifying questions e.g., ‘Have I heard you correctly’, ‘Tell me more about this’,’ You feel this
because- - - - ‘, ’Is there something beneath what you just said’. I tried to feel my way around the
client’s experiences. I used a range of listening and responding skills. My aim was to try and
understand the couple’s unsatisfactory pattern of relating since they were emotionally disconnected.
I worked hard on providing symmetry and balance. I felt confident in the role of counsellor.
Feedback from trainees was I provided empathy, validation and used lots of reflective questions.
Feedback from couple was that they felt safe and comfortable talking to me. Feedback from the
trainer was that I used too much probing and challenging. All the feedback received was
constructive.

Areas for development include going at a slower pace. This in order for clients to think about what
they have said and for them to reflect on this. I think I need to practice more when to listen and
when to speak. I need to allow for silence and not to rush in to fill this space.

Skills practice I feel is slowly coming together but I require more practice and knowledge. I find the
training experience rewarding and a worthwhile endeavour.

Q5) Reflecting on the life stages this weekend, how do you feel that your awareness of your own
attachment styles will contribute towards your development as a relationship counsellor? (LO1)

One of the key aspects of attachment theory is that experiences in early relationships influence how
people behave in later relationships. To be human is to be social since we grow in relation to
significant others. Our past history with significant others shapes our present relationships.
According to the theory we have an internal working model which is a mental representation of our
own worthiness based on people’s emotional availability and willingness to provide care and support
to us. This working model guides us to what to do and how to think and feel in close relationships.
Attachment styles affect the way people conduct emotionally significant relationships. My
attachment style (Secure) represents 55% - 60% of the adult population. Awareness of one’s own
attachment style makes clear what informs me regarding my relationships with others including how
I relate to others including my role as a counsellor.

Adulthood does not follow the same pattern for everyone since we all have different parented and
life experiences. There are other attachment styles, Preoccupied (10% – 15% of the adult population)
Dismissive (15% -20%) Fearful (10% -15%) Attachment styles are a kind of template to use in working
with couples since it guides a counsellor’s intervention with them. Using an attachment frame the
counsellor will seek to understand the attachment style of each partner since this will provide useful
information regarding the dynamics of the couple’s relationship and the difficulties they are
experiencing.

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