Children and Power in Mexican Transnational Families

Author(s): Joanna Dreby

Source: Journal of Marriage and Family, Vol. 69, No. 4 (Nov., 2007), pp. 1050-1064
Published by: National Council on Family Relations
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 JOANNADREBY Kent State University
Childrenand Power in Mexican
TransnationalFamilies
Today, manyfamilies find that they are unable
to fulfill the goal of maintaininga household by
living togetherunderthe same roof. Some mem-
bers migrate internationally. This article ad-
dresses the consequences of a transnational
lifestyle for children who are left behind by
migrantparents. Using ethnographicfieldwork
and interviewswith a total of 141 membersof
Mexican transnationalfamilies, I explore how
children who are left behind react to parents'
migrations. I focus on how Mexican children
manifest the competingpressures theyfeel sur-
roundingparents' migrationsand consequently
shape family migration patterns. The article
shows that children may experience power,
albeit in differentways at differentages, while
simultaneouslybeing disadvantagedas depend-
ents and in terms of their families' socioeco-
nomic status.
Today,manyfamiliesfindthattheyarenot ableto
fulfill the common goal of maintaininga house-
hold by living togetherunderthe same roof. By
diversifying the residence of family members,
families are able to take advantageof the dispar-
ities in the world economy. Able-bodied sons,
daughters,brothers,sisters, aunts,uncles, moth-
ers, andfathersmove to areaswherethey canearn
more for theirhumanlabor,whereasotherfamily
membersremainin areaswherethe cost of living
Sociology Department,Kent State University, P.O. Box
5190, Kent, OH 44242 (jdreby@kent.edu).
Key Words:children,family, Mexico,parent-childrelations,
transnationalism.
1050 Journalof Marriageand Family 69 (November2007): 1050-1064
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All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
is low. Familiesmove transnationally(Bryceson
& Vuorela, 2002; Schmalzbauer, 2004). Al-
though the internationalseparationof families
is not a new phenomenon(Foner,2000; Nakano
Glenn, 1983; Thomas & Znaniecki, 1927), one
type of transnationalfamily, thatin which moth-
ers leave theirchildrenbehindto workabroad,is
increasinglycommon causing a plethoraof new
researchfocusing on the lives of these transna-
tional families (Dreby, 2006; Hirsch, 2003;
Hondagneu-Sotelo & Avila,1997;SalazarParrefias,
2005).
This articleaddressessome of the consequen-
ces of the transnationallifestyle for children
who are left behind by migrantparents. Using
ethnographic fieldwork and interviews with
a total of 141 membersof Mexicantransnational
families, I explore how children who are left
behind react to their parents' migrations. The
overallstudyis basedon interviewswith migrant
mothersand fathersresidingin CentralNew Jer-
sey, andchildrenandtheircaregivers,most often
grandparents,residing in the Mixtec region of
south centralMexico. It analyzes the ways that
membersof transnationalfamilies accommodate
changes in each other's lives over time. Here, I
focus on how childrenwho areleft behindmani-
fest the competingpressuresthey feel surround-
ing their parents' migrations and consequently
shape families' migrationpatterns.
Background
Over the past 20 years, an emerging area of
research on childhood has focused on under-
standingchildrenas autonomousactorscreating
their own social worlds as distinct from and in
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies 1051

dynamicrelationshipto those of the adultsin their and Massey (2002) verified empiricallythat the
lives (Corsaro, 1997; Wrigley & Dreby, 2005). intergenerational transmissionof migrationexpe-
to
According Qvortrup(1999), the new sociol- rience is greatest among families headed by
ogy of childhood has been relatively divorced migrant parents. In the context of widespread
from traditional,structuralapproachesto under- migrationbetweenMexico andthe UnitedStates,
standing children's lives, which emphasize the a culture of migration within families becomes
economic and political inequalities children a crucial source of social capital passed from
experience in differentsocieties. Primarily,eth- parentsto theirchildren.
nographic studies of children's social worlds Yet childrenwho areleft behindmay also be in
have not been successful in describing how a relativelypowerlessposition vis-a-vis theirpa-
children'spower, or lack of power, in theirfam- rentsin termsof migrationdecisions. In Mexico,
ilies and in other institutions relates to their "young individuals report that they have little
families' relative position in the society in influence on their family decision-makingpro-
which they live (Wrigley & Dreby). In this arti- cesses, with parents tending to make the most
cle, I considerthe power of childrenleft behind of the decisions"(Esteinou,2004, p. 25). In terms
in transnationalfamilies in relationto theirfam- of transnationalfamilies, children are often the
ilies' social position as transnationalmigrants.I last in the link to move abroad,in part because
explore how children in Mexican transnational of parents'concernsaboutthe dangersand costs
families are, on the one hand, the least powerful of children'smigrationas well as theirdesirethat
actors within their families, but on the other children be educated in their home country
hand, very influential,both as intendedrecipi- (Hondagneu-Sotelo,1994; Levitt,2001; Massey,
ents of the benefits their families garner via Alarcon, Durand,& Gonzalez, 1987). At times,
international migration and as independent they are sent back home when they misbehave
agents with divergentneeds that are intensified in the United States (Grasmuck& Pessar, 1991;
by the separationfrom parents. Levitt). In addition, as minors, children cannot
A growing body of researchon transnational receive parents'remittancesat banks or money
families describes some of the ways children transferagencies directlyandthereforemay have
who are left behind may be both powerful and little controlover the spendingof family resour-
powerless members of their families. For one, ces. Likechildrenof divorce,childrenin Mexican
as the primarybeneficiariesof theirparents'sac- transnationalfamilies may experiencea disjunc-
rifice, children's needs may influence families' ture between their symbolic role as dependents
migrationpatterns. Research suggests that at the and their actual ability to influence the distri-
aggregate level, children with migrant parents bution of their family's economic resources
may have advantagesovertheirnonmigrantpeers (Haugen,2005).
presumablyowing to the overall economic re- More importantly,researchsuggests thatchil-
turns of migration.For example, Mexican chil- drenwho areleft behindpay the emotionalprice
dren with a U.S. migrant in the family have of separationfromparentsoverthe long run(Lev-
bettergradesthanchildrenin nonmigranthouse- itt, 2001). Childrenof migrantmen may with-
holds, which is assumed to be related to an draw emotionallyfrom their fathers;childrenof
increasein overallfinancialresourcesfor families migrant mothers may feel they lack intimacy
(Kandel& Kao, 2001). Researchhas also found and affectionand have been abandoned(Salazar
child and infanthealth in Mexican communities Parrefias,2005). When young immigrantsarere-
to be better among families with U.S. migrants united with parents,family membersmay have
(Frank, 2005; Kanaiaupuni& Donato, 1999). a difficulttime adjustingto one anotherafterlong
Moreover,althoughthe regularityof remittances periodsof separation.The ensuingconflictis par-
may vary greatly among families from different ticularly distressful for adolescents who may
regions and with differentpostmigrationexperi- have trouble adaptingto their parentsauthority
ences, social networksdeveloped duringmigra- or communicatingwiththem(Artico,2003; Men-
tion prove to be a uniformlyimportantsource of jivar, 2000; Smith, Lalonde, & Johnson, 2004).
social capital for Mexican families. Cohen One study shows that levels of depression are
(2004) found that in Oaxaca "households that higher among immigrantchildrenin the United
lack the networkties andthe resourcesnecessary Stateswho experiencedseparationpriorto migra-
to create more ties throughparticipationare at tion than those who migrate with their parents
a severe disadvantage"(p. 140). Indeed,Kandel (Suarez-Orozco, Todorova, & Louie, 2002).

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1052
Smith (2006) found thatMexicanyouth who felt
extremely resentfulof migrantparentswho left
them behind were often the most violent and
aggressive members of Mexican youth gangs.
Finally, the emotional costs of separationmay
affect children'seducationalprospects.Research
in Mexico suggests that although children in
migrant families may do better in school than
their counterparts,those with migrant parents
do worse academicallythanchildrenliving with
boththeirparents,have fewereducationalaspira-
tions, and are more likely to drop out of school
(Gioguli, 2004; Kandel, 1998; Kandel & Kao,
2001).
In summary, existing research suggests that
childrenin Mexican transnationalfamilies may
receive certain benefits from migration as
compared to their counterpartsin nonmigrant
households, in the form of access to migration
networksand greateroverall economic stability.
At the same time, as the least powerful family
members, children who are left behind appear
to be most averselyaffectedby thelong-termcon-
sequencesof separation.Missingis empiricalevi-
dence as to how these children are active
participantsin Mexican transnationalfamilies.
Canthesepowerlesschildrenshapetheirfamily's
future?
To date,researchon transnationalfamilieshas
not been ableto adequatelyaddressthe ways chil-
dren who are left behind participatein transna-
tional migration. Most studies that include
children's perspectives involve interviews with
either adult childrenor childrenwho have since
been reunited with their parents(Artico, 2003;
Olwig, 1999; Salazar Parrefias,2005; Suarez-
Orozco et al., 2002). Whereashighly important
in determiningthelong-termconsequencesof sep-
aration,theycannotcapturethedynamicways that
children, while they are children, interactwith
their parentsand other family members during
periodsof separation.Moreover,althoughrecent
surveyresearchwith childrenin Mexico suggests
thatparents'migrationhas some adverseimplica-
tions for children'sschooling (see Gioguli, 2004;
Kandel, 1998; Kandel & Kao, 2001), it cannot
describethe natureof the dynamicswithin fami-
lies thatmay cause these difficulties.
Because of its unique research design, this
studyrecordsthe changingrelationshipsbetween
migrant parents, children, and their caregivers
over time while they areexperiencingseparation.
I now turnto my data from interviewswith 141
membersof Mexican transnationalfamilies that
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Journal of Marriageand Family
illuminate the ways minor children simulta-
neously areaffectedby and influencetheirfami-
lies' migrationtrajectories.
METHOD
Datafromthis paperwerecollectedin whatcould
be describedas a multisitedethnography(Mar-
cus, 1998); it includes researchwith 44 migrant
parents in the United States and with 60 chil-
dren of migrant parents and 37 of their care-
givers in a number of sites in Mexico. In the
United States, I interviewed21 mothersand 23
fathersbetween 2003 and 2004 and conducted
participant observation with Mexican immi-
grantsin CentralNew Jersey, in and aroundthe
city of New Brunswick where Mexican immi-
gration skyrocketedfrom 1.3% of the popula-
tion in 1990 to 12.6% in 2000 (U.S. Census
Bureau,n.d.).
As I had lived and worked with Mexicans in
the city since 1997, I used personal contacts to
identify transnationalparentsfor interviews. In
addition,althoughI am not Latinaor Mexican,
my 5-year-old son's fatheris a Mexican immi-
grant.Raising a child with one foot in the Mexi-
can immigrantcommunityoften paved the way
for informal conversations and observations
aboutthe flexibilityandpermanenceof families'
child-carearrangements. Despitethesecontacts,I
found separationto be a sensitive topic for many
families. Interviews often brought up issues of
maritalconflictor otherpersonalproblems,such
as alcohol abuse. As such, only four parentsal-
lowed me to tape-recordthem. In most cases, I
took detailednotes duringinterviewsor, in some
cases, afterward.During semistructuredinter-
views, I asked parentsaboutwhy they migrated
to the United States, the care arrangementsfor
their childrenin Mexico, how often they are in
touch with theirchildrenand in what ways, how
they feel aboutliving apart,and abouttheirplans
for the future.
At the time of the interviews,all but three of
those I interviewedwereundocumented.Migrant
mothersmostly workedin local fast-foodrestau-
rants and factories; many were periodically
unemployedbecauseof slowdownsin factorypro-
duction, or child-care responsibilities.Migrant
fathers generally worked in landscaping, con-
struction,or privaterestaurants.The men's edu-
cational backgroundin Mexico was mixed; six
had completedfewer than 6 years of schooling,
nine had between 7 and 9 years of schooling,
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies
seven had completed high school, and two had
some college-level training.Prior experiencein
Mexico also variedand includedfarmers(eight),
governmentadministrators(three),a police offi-
cer, electricians(two), and one accountant.Most
of the motherswere not regularlyemployedout-
side of the home in Mexico. Two motherswere
college educated.With a few exceptions,the pa-
rents I interviewedhad migratedfrom the three-
state region of Oaxaca, Guerrero,and Puebla.
The mixed socioeconomic statusof respondents
is not surprisinggiven Ibarraranand Lubotsky's
(2005) findings that migrants from areas with
lower returnson education(such as Oaxaca)are
likely to be morebalancededucationallyspeaking
thanthosefromotherareaswheremigrantsmaybe
less educatedthannonmigrants.At the time of the
interviews,14 mothersand nine fathershad chil-
dren in the United States as well as in Mexico.
Most mothershad lived apartfrom theirchildren
in Mexico for between I and4 years;most fathers
had been away between5 and 9 years.
Although in what follows I referto interviews
with parents,this articlehinges on datathatwere
collected in Mexico where I traveledon a Ful-
bright grant between 2004 and 2005. I rely on
two differentsamples in Mexico for interviews
with a total of 60 childrenof U.S. migrants(24
preadolescents,24 adolescents, and 12 young
adults) and 37 of their caregivers, most often
grandparents.
First,I elicited an independentsampleof chil-
dren whose parentsworked in the United States
and theircaregiversin a small town of approxi-
mately 2,500 residents in the lower Mixtec
region of Oaxaca, which I call San Angel. It is
an area of high out-migration. In the early
1980s, it was estimatedthat of every 10 Mixte-
cans, 3 permanentlyleft the region, 4 were tem-
porary migrants,and only 3 stayed in the area
(Velasco Ortiz, 1995). Surveys I conducted at
the local middle school found thatin 2004, 96%
of students had some relatives in the United
States and 65% had members of their nuclear
family (parents and siblings) abroad. Twenty-
eight percentof studentshad one or both parents
in the United States.
I used a snowballsampleto locateparticipants.
As I spent 7 months living in San Angel, I was
able to speak informally with many residents
about U.S. migration,witness changes in town
when migrantsreturnedhome during the holi-
days, andobserveaspectsof the cultureof migra-
tion in everyday experiences. I also visited 23
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1053
schools in San Angel andthe surroundingregion
and interviewed15 schoolteachersand adminis-
trators.In San Angel, I interviewed 11 children
between the ages of 5 and 7, 8 childrenaged 8 -
10, 9 children aged 11 - 13, 10 children aged
14 - 16, and 9 childrenage 17 and older.
Second, I met 12 families of parents I had
already interviewed in the United States. Four
families lived in San Angel; visiting otherfami-
lies involved tripsto small towns andlargecities
within the three-stateregion of Oaxaca, Puebla,
andGuerrero.Family selection was basedin part
on logistics andin parton opportunity.I included
in the sample,the fourmaintypes of transnational
families I found in interviews with migrant
parents:(a) father-onlymigrants(threefamilies),
(b) single-mother migrants (three families),
(c) marriedparents in the United States (three
families), and (d) divorced or separatedparents
in the United States (threefamilies). Notably, in
five families, parents and children have since
been reunited.Work with these 12 family con-
stellationsprovidesa rich sourceof ethnographic
dataon how migrationstrategies,familyrelation-
ships, and children's educational outcomes
change over time. Moreover, triangulatingthe
perspectives of multiple family members helps
to overcome the limitationsof self-reportsnoted
by other family researchers(see Hansen, 2005;
Lareau,2003).
When interviewing minor children, I used
a structuredinterviewschedule.It includedques-
tions about why their parents migrated to the
United States, what they know of their parents'
life abroad,if they wantedtheirparentsto leave
and if they want them to return,frequencyand
contentof phone contactand monetaryremittan-
ces, how they get along with theirsubstitutecare-
giver, and theirown aspirations,educationaland
otherwise,for the future.Questionsvariedsome-
whataccordingto the age of the child.Interviews
with caregiverswere open-endedinformalcon-
versations,which seemed to put the older resi-
dents in town most at ease. I asked caregivers
abouttheirrelationshipswith the childrenas well
as theirobservationsregardingchildren'sdevel-
opment, such as school performance, since
parents'departure.As in the United States,inter-
views were tape-recordedonly with childrenand
caregivers' permission. I taped interviews with
18 childrenand no caregivers.I wrote notes on
all interviews and relied on detailed notes that
included verbatim quotes for interviews I did
not tape.
1054
All data collection, includinginterviewscon-
ducted with children, received Institutional
Review Boardapprovalfor researchwith human
subjects. It was conducted in Spanish and was
translatedby the author.Analysis involved the
systematicmanualreview of notes of conversa-
tions and taped interviews for salient themes.
Next, I did a more detailed thematicreview of
each interview.Finally,I comparedchildren'sac-
counts relatedto salient themes with those from
theircaregiversandparents.In some cases, I con-
sulted family members for clarificationon spe-
cific topics importantto the analysis.
RESULTS
Up untilthispoint,I have describedchildrenas an
ambiguous,socially constructedgroupin opposi-
tion to adults.Yet, I foundthatchildrenof differ-
ent ages react in differentways to theirparents'
migration.In this section, I describe children's
experiences during two stages: (a) preadoles-
cence and (b) adolescence. Although there is
some individual variation,at each stage power
dynamics between children and parents differ.
As such, relationshipsin Mexican transnational
families aredynamicandconstantlyinflux. Chil-
drenwho areleft behindmustmanageseparation
from their parents according to their different
needs over time.
Preadolescence
The 24 preadolescents I interviewed did not
describefeeling as overtlydistressedby parents'
migrationas did teenagers.At the sametime,four
typical responsesto theirparents'absencesindi-
cate a level of emotional withholding that
affected the emotional dynamics of the adults
around them: naming, indifference, disregard
for migrantparents'authority,and reluctanceto
migrate.In turn,these responsesoften influenced
parents'decisions regardingthe use of resources
duringmigration.
Naming. Among the preadolescents I inter-
viewed, the naming of caregivers-mostly
grandmothers-in Mexico as "mama"or "ma-
mi" was common. Yet all of the children I
interviewed-even attheyoung age of 5-under-
stood that they have two mothersand, at times,
two fathers, even when they call their grand-
mother mom. According to Dofia Carmela,her
5-year-old grandson Miguel says, "I have this
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Journal of Marriageand Family
manymothers[shows two fingers]andthis many
fathers[shows two fingers]andthis manygrand-
parents[shows threefingers]'becausehe says he
has his motherthereandme, his fatherthere,and
his fatherhere. And his grandparentsare his fa-
thers'parentsand my motherwho is still alive."
Indeed, none of children-including Miguel-
got mixed up in telling me that their mother or
fatheror both lived in the United States.They re-
countedconversationswith and showed me pic-
tures of their migrant parents, and they often
pointed out the gifts their migrantparents had
sent them.
At times, the namingof caregiversas mothers
resulted from parents' careful instruction.
Migrantmothersdescribedthe sharingof the title
of motheras the priceof leaving childrenbehind.
They conceded that children call caregivers
mom, as they were the ones doing the daily care
work. At the same time, mothers felt offended
when childrendid not recognizethem as mothers
as well. Dofia Lauraexplainedthather daughter
told the childrento call her "mama"instead of
"abuelita" because it was only right because
she would be taking care of the children. But
when her daughtercalled home and spoke to
her son, she would say, "Who am I?" andthe lit-
tle boy would answer, "My sister Rosa" after
which she would correcthim quickly, "No, no,
no, I am your mother."
Preadolescents'namingmay appearoutwardly
to be simple demonstrationsof affectionfor their
primarycaregivers.Yet, childrenseem conscious
thattheycanuse namesto maketheirmothersfeel
badly. Sandra,a migrantmotherof a 9-year-old
girl told me:
WhenI call I ask to speakwithmy daughterand,
althoughthey are not talkingto me, I overhear
a conversationthat goes something like this.
Theysay,"Come,Raquel,yourmomis calling."
Andshe answers,"Who?Whowantsto talkto
me?""Yourmom.""Oh,Sandra" [namedrawn
out]shesaysbeforecomingto talkto me on the
phone.
Accordingto DofiaBelinda, 14-year-oldBrianna
"hasalwayscalledhermotherby herfirstname.I
can tell that she doesn't really love her... My
daughter gets upset and cries to me over the
phone. She says that [Brianna] doesn't love
her."I often sensedanunderlyinganxietyaround
the namesfor most mothers.Ofelia, for example,
claimednot to be botheredby her son's affection
towardhermotherbutsaid, "You see, he calls my
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies
mother,mama.Buthe knows thatI amhis mother
because he says so." Nydia also explained that
her 4-year-old son in Mexico calls her mother
mom but that "He doesn't deny [thatI am] his
mother. He knows that I have my place [in his
life]." Althoughbiological motherswere willing
to sharethe name of motherwith theirchildren's
primary caregiver, when children pointedly
avoided acknowledgingtheirbiological parents,
mothers felt offended. Naming demarcatesthe
emotionalcosts of mothers'absences.
Notably, namingmarkedthe emotionaltoll of
mothers' absences but not that of fathers.
Although children often said they have two fa-
thers, no fathersreportedtaking offense at their
children'snamingpractices.As SalazarParrefias
(2005) found among children of Filipino mi-
grants,a mother'sabsencehas a differentmean-
ing from that of a father. The use of names as
a sign of affectionappearsto challengemothers'
commitmentto a maternalidentity.
Feigning indifference.Another way preadoles-
cent childrenexpressedthe emotionaleffects of
separationwas by feigning indifference about
theirbiologicalparents.Althoughchildrenspoke
frequentlyto theirmigrantparentson the phone,
they often communicatedan "out of sight, out of
mind mentality."
Many times childrenacted uninterestedwhen
their parentscalled home. According to Nydia,
"The only thing thatmakes me feel badly about
my son is when he doesn't want to talk to me.
Sometimesthereis a little bit of distancebetween
us andhe doesn't wantto talk."Nydia's son was
just four at the time of our interview.Lilia cared
for her sister's 9-year-old son after his mother
migrated.She said that he often refused to talk
to his motheron the phone. "I didn'twantmy sis-
terto thinkthatI was tellinghim not to talkto her.
So sometimesI would trickhim to get him to talk
to heron the phone ... My sisterwould cry when
he didn't want to talk to her."
Childrenacted most indifferentwhen parents
came home to visit (see also Schmalzbauer,
2004). Even whenchildrenanxiouslyawaitedpa-
rents'return,once they arrived,children'sbehav-
ior indicated to parents that migrationwas not
withouta price. Anabel was only away fromher
threechildrenfor a year,butwhen she came back
her 5-year-old twins hid from her. "They said,
since you left, we don't know you anymore."
Flor said that her son spreadthe rumorthat he
was not going to acceptherandherhusbandwhen
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1055
they returnedfromthe United States. "He would
tell his uncles that he wasn't going to love us
when we came home." Whereas naming was
most distressingformothers,fathersalso felt dis-
regardedby children'sindifference.Forexample,
when I interviewed Daniel, whose three U.S.-
bornchildrenwent to live with theirgrandmother
in Mexico 2 years before, he explained, "They
don't rememberme. You don't know what that
is. It is hard. They get [me] confused with
a brotherof mine; they thinkhe is theirdad."
Many families describedfeelings of discom-
fort as temporary.In fact, some researchershave
suggestedthatthis distressuponreunionwith pa-
rentsis typicalamongyoung childrenandis short
lived (Bowlby, 1973 as cited in Smith et al.,
2004). But at age 30, Paulo still recalled the
uneasiness he felt when his father returnedto
visit. "Whenhe returnedaftera lot of time, well,
I felt reallyuncomfortable,as if he was a stranger,
for the very reason that we didn't really have
a relationshipbecause I was little when he left."
Paulo's father left when he was 11 years old
and afterjust 4 years, when Paulo was 15, his
fatherstartedto visit Mexico annually.Paulosaid
thatalthoughhe gets alongwith his father,he still
felt uncomfortablearoundhim. When Paulovis-
ited with his parents,I watchedhow he was out-
wardly affectionate with his mother yet shied
away from his father's company even after he
described how importantthe father figure is to
him duringour interview.The indifferencethat
children experience when reunited with their
parents may have long-term consequences for
parent-childrelationships,a finding supported
by researchwith adult children separatedfrom
parentsas minors (Olwig, 1999; Smith et al.).
Like Paulo,all the childrenI interviewed,even
childrenwhose parentsleft themwhile they were
very young indicated that their parents were
importantto them. They generallysaid thatthey
missed theirparents,loved them,or wantedthem
to come home. Even childrenwho said they did
not love one or both of their parentssaid they
missed them sometimesjust because they were
not around.Thus, when preadolescentchildren
act indifferenttowardtheirparents,whetherover
thephoneor whenparentsreturnedto visit, it sug-
gests not thatparentsareunimportantto thembut
ratherthatthey feel theirparentshad not lived up
to theirexpectations.
Parental authoritydeferred.Preadolescentchil-
dren almost always defer to their substitute
1056
caregiversfor permissionto do things,an impor-
tant pattern as it reverses during the teenage
years.Even uponparents'returns,eitherfor tem-
poraryvisits or morepermanently,childrenoften
continue to cede to their substitutecaregiver's
authorityduring an adjustmentperiod. Accord-
ing to DofiaElvira,for example,whenherdaugh-
ter first came home, her grandson was very
happy, but it took them a while to adjustto her
authority."At firstit was still, grandmathis and
grandmathat. Not until now are they leaving
me a little and going to their mother."When I
asked 11-year-oldDeborahwhose parentsjustre-
turnedfrom the United States, "Whodo you ask
permissionto do thingswith?"she responded,"I
ask my parentsfor permissiononly because that
is what my grandmothertold me I should do."
Moreover, many parents found they could not
effectively give young children permission to
do things over the phone. Nydia told me that
when she calls her son in Mexico, "Maybe if I
correct him he listens to me and sometimes he
doesn't. But with my parents,no. Thereis more
respectfor them."
Like feigning indifference,always asking for
permission of the primarycaregiverin Mexico
was somethingthatchildrendid in all four types
of transnationalfamilies. When parentsor single
mothers were away, children turned to their
grandparents.In migrant father-only families,
childrenalmostalwayscontinuedto deferto their
mothers even when fatherscame home. As fa-
therstend to considerauthorityin Mexican fam-
ilies to be ultimatelytheirs(see Esteinou,2004),
children'sdeferenceto motherswas oftenhurtful
for migrantfathers.Accordingto Gabriela,"The
kids always come to me for permissionand with
their problems. My husband has even com-
mentedto them, 'Am I not worthanythinghere?'
Once he told them, 'I am going to leave because
you don't respectme.'"
One day, Gabriela's10-year-oldson, Gilberto,
demonstratedthe way childrenoverlookmigrant
parents for permission. When I saw Gilberto
hangingaroundon the street,I askedto interview
him again about what it was like to have his fa-
ther-Angelo--home for a visit. He agreed.I ex-
plained that we first had to ask his parentsfor
permission.
We walkeddown the streettogetherand seeing
thathis parentswere not at home, Gilbertowent
across the street to his grandmother'splace to
look for them. I lagged behindoutsidebut was
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Journal of Marriageand Family
close enoughto see Gilbertoaskhis father,sitting
just inside the door, where his mother was.
Learningthat she was at a meeting, Gilberto
came back out and said his mother was not
aroundso we wouldhaveto do it later.
Later that evening, Angelo laughed about the
incident and explained that it was a common
occurrencewith all of his four children, espe-
cially his 8-year-oldson. "He is always playing
marbleswith his friendson the street.He comes
into the house and walks by me looking for his
motherto ask if he can go play. I stop him and
say, 'What's this, iy yo que?' (what about
me?)."
Whetherintentionalor subconscious,by over-
looking their migrantparentsand ceding to the
caregivers who raise them, children signal the
importanceof theprimarycaregiverin theirlives.
Migrantparentsmay laugh it off, but latershake
their heads and wonder, as Angelo did, what
about me? In effect, ignoring parents'authority
underscoresthe emotional costs of parentalab-
sences.
Refusingto migrate.The preadolescentchildren
I met in Mexico often resistedparents'efforts to
reunite with them in the United States. Ofelia,
for example, lives in New Jersey and left 10-
year-oldGermanwith his grandparentsin Mexi-
co when he was 2 years old to join her husband
already working in the United States. She re-
countedher effortsto send for her son.
WhenI call him he asks me to come home. But
he says he does not want to come here because
he does notwantto leavehis mamain Mexico...
He says, "I know you are my mother,but I do
not wantto leave my motherhere."And I don't
want to force him to do somethinghe does not
wantto do,thoughI knowtherearemoreoppor-
tunitieshere[U.S.].
I interviewedOfelia again a year later,afterhav-
ing met Germanand his grandparentsin Mexico
and confirmingthe story. Nothing had changed,
except that Ofelia was more distraughtwhen
she told me, "We tell him to come, but he does
not want to. I have wanted to bring him since
the firstyear we were here, but he never wanted
to. He is resentfulthatwe left him." Althoughit
may seem strange that migrant parents would
not exert authorityas parentsand send for chil-
dren against their will, this is consistent with
Lewis's (2000) descriptionof minimalinterven-
tion parentingstrategiesin a Mixtec community
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies
of Oaxaca (see also Esteinou, 2004, p. 18). It
seems thatthis culturaltendencytowardpermis-
sive parenting affords preadolescent children
greaterinfluencein decisionsthanis typicalwhen
parentsand childrenlive together.
In response, some parents I met returnedto
Mexico to try to win their childrenover. Betsy,
for example, explained that she had wanted to
send for her 10-year-old daughterLily, which
wouldcost approximately$3,000. Lily, however,
said no. "I didn't insist because she has to make
the decision herself." Instead,Betsy returnedto
San Angel for a 3-monthvisit whereI met andin-
terviewed her. This came at significant cost as
Betsy had no income duringthis period, had to
finance her return home, and-if all went as
planned-would pay forthe undocumentedcross-
ing of both herself and her daughter.Similarly,
Zelia went back to San Angel for her son, Juan
Luis. On the last day of her 3-week visit, 7-year-
old JuanLuis decidedthathe preferredto stay in
Mexico. Zelia returnedto the United Stateswith-
out him. When I interviewedher a few months
laterin theUnitedStates,she waspregnantandstill
saidsheplannedto go backforJuanLuis,although
she was unsureof how she wouldfinanciallyman-
age reunitingwith her son in the future.
In summary, when preadolescent children
make parentsfeel badly for being away, parents
may make significantefforts, involving substan-
tial economic resources for low-wage workers
in the United States, to make arrangementsto
send for their children. In this way, young
children's emotional reactions to their parents'
absences often have significant economic
repercussions.
Adolescence
Whereas younger children's responses to their
parents'absences subtlyremindmigrantparents
aboutwhatthey aremissing, olderchildrengrow
more outwardlyresentful.Fifteen year old Gre-
gorio, who has lived with his grandparentshis
entire life, told me that his parents' absence is
harderto deal with than when he was younger
"Because before I didn't feel anything . . . and
now I understanda lot of things." Accordingto
DofiaBelinda,who has raiseda totalof 10 grand-
childrenat differentpoints, the change occurs at
about age 10. "Thatis when they startto figure
things out," she told me. "I always tried to tell
my grandchildrenthe good things about their
parents, and not talk badly about them. But it
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1057
doesn't matter,becauseat this age they startques-
tioning things."
A commonly held belief is that conflict
between parentsand childrenincreasesdramati-
cally during adolescence as a byproduct of
puberty (Laursen, Coy, & Collins, 1998).
Research suggests, however, that althoughcer-
tain sources of conflict may increase,such as fi-
nances, othersources of conflict, such as chores
or appearance,may actuallydecreaseduringado-
lescence (Galambos & Almeida, 1992). I have
found three types of experiences to be salient
amongthe 24 adolescentsI interviewedin Mexi-
can transnationalfamilies that are distinct from
those observed among the younger children:
ambiguouslines of authority,actingout, anddif-
ficulties at school. Althoughthese three areasof
conflict may not be all that differentfrom those
experienced by Mexican children living with
theirparents,childrenleft behinddescribedthese
conflicts as being uniquely shaped by parental
absence.
Ambiguouslines of authority.Most adolescentsI
met exercisedrelativelyhigh levels of freedomin
their daily activities while living with substitute
caregivers.A common patternin Mexican trans-
nationalfamiliesis for caregiversin Mexico to be
more lenient with young childrenthan parents.
Dofia Eva explained,for example, "I have them
really spoiled. Anything they ask for, if I have
the money, they get it." Once childrenbecome
teenagers, however, caregivers find it difficult
to retainauthorityover the children.A neighbor
and friend of Nicandra's two teenage children
told me, "[W]hen their grandmotherwas here,
the boys would trick her. Once she was asleep
they would sneak out. They basically have been
doing theirown thingforyears."DofiaLiliacom-
plained that her 10-year-old nephew "started
going out a lot and would get into trouble. He
wouldn't listen to me." Don Bernandosaid that
raising his grandchildrenwas not like raising
his own children. "With my grandchildrenit is
different. They do what they want." His wife,
Dofia Fernanda,agreed. "I talk to them and they
just don't listen to me."
Whenteenagersfindthatcaregiversarestricter
during adolescence, they often turn to their
migrantparentswho are seen to be more lenient.
Tina andBrian'saunttold me thatauthoritycon-
flicts occurredbecause her mother,Dofia Silvia,
is strictand does not let the 13- and 15-year-olds
go out. Tina often complainedto her fatherover
1058
the phone andhe would tell hernot to worry,that
he would talk to her grandmother.Accordingto
the aunt:
Theirfatheris far away andreallydoesn'tknow
what is going on here. So he can say, be nice to
the kids, let them go out, just so they all get
along. But, he is not here dealing with them.
And, if the kids get in trouble,like Briangetting
some girl pregnant,he will surely blame my
motherfornot watchingoverhimenough.
Dofia Fernandaalso explained, "Their mother
and fatherhave the last word, not us. These girls
ask for permissionfromthemover thereandthen
they leave." In effect, teenagers used unclear
lines of authoritybetweenparentsandcaregivers
to their advantage.
Interviewswith parentssuggestthatseparation
makes parents attempt to win their teenagers
respectvia friendshipratherthanparentalauthor-
ity. According to migrant Wendy, a widowed
mother of three in Mexico, "My mother is the
strictvoice andI tryto be a littlebitmorecompas-
sionate and understanding."Salvador told me
thatwhen he calls home, his 19- and 17-year-olds
say they want to go to the disco, but that their
motherwill not let them. "LaterI talkto my wife
about it and tell her to let them." And migrant
father,Quirino,explained, "I try to be my son's
friend."
If adolescentsexercised flexibility because of
the ambiguityof authorityand migrantparents'
eagerness to please from a distance, they were
not particularlyhappy about it. Rather, they
describedexperiencesof increasedautonomyas
somethingundesirablethatwould not have been
possible if parentswerepresent.Cindy,a 16-year-
old daughterto a single migrantmother,has been
in trouble for fighting at school and often
disobeyedherauntwhenshewentoutwithherboy-
friend.She said, "Forme it is very exceptional-
it is something really painful for me that my
motherisn't here with me." Cindy describedher
mother's discipline in a positive light, as some-
thing she missed.
Beforewhenwe wouldcomebackfromschool,
well,she washereandthenaftersheleft,there
wasno onehere.Beforeshewouldscoldus and
hit us andnow thereis no one aroundto scold or
hitus whenwe comehomefromschool..,. now
I amalone.
Yet Cindywas not alone in herexperience.When
I interviewedTinaat age 13 in April,she admitted
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Journal of Marriage and Family
that over the past year, she startedhanging out
with the wrong crowd at school. "It's just that,
you know, I started hanging out with some
friends who have lots of problems, like me."
She startedcuttingclass and her gradesmidyear
plummetedandshe was nearlysuspended.When
I interviewedTina thatpast September,she was
quick to answer my question about what made
her miss her migrantparents."I miss my moth-
er's affectionandof my father,I miss thathe cor-
rects me."
Acting out. Time and time again, caregiversand
teachersI intervieweddescribedbehavioraldiffi-
culties with childrenof migrantparents(see Lev-
itt, 2001). Accordingto Dofia Beatriz,motherto
12, 7 of whom lived with her when her husband
went to work in the United States for 2 years,
"Everythingwas destroyed[afterhe left]. Every-
one was sadanddidn'teat well anymore.Some of
them were insolent and rude to me. I think that
they lacked a paternalfigure." Dofia Fatimaex-
plained that when she went to the United States
for 3 years, she left two sons in San Angel. The
younger boy studied and even went on to high
school, but her 14-year-oldson droppedout of
middle school. "He would go anddrinkandthey
would tell me thatthey foundhim drunkhanging
out on the hill all the time ... thenhe went to live
with his girlfriend'sparents. He got her preg-
nant." To this day, the young man lives with
his in-laws and is known to be a drunk.
Nicandra's 16-year-old son, Miguel, articu-
lated the unique feelings of abandonmentwhen
childrenmisbehave while parentswork abroad.
AlthoughNicandradid not describeMiguel hav-
ing problemswhen she migrated,he was left back
twice and droppedout at age 14. Miguel attrib-
uted most of his personalfailuresto his mother's
migration. For example, Miguel told me he
startedto smoke at the age of 12 when his mother
left, although he has more recently beaten the
habit. "I felt desperatebecauseI lived alone with
my grandmother,only, and my brother.And I
startedthe habitbecause, many times, you know
it chills you out, it calms your nerves, and all
that." Miguel joined a neighborhoodgang and
was involved in simple assaults,though he was
nevercaught."Tome it didn'tmatter.Not having
my mother,I felt strange.I felt like what did it
matter.If I saw a personstaringat me it was like,
what do you want? I would look for a fight."
Miguel said he was different when his mother
returnedto visit. "I droppedall of this when she
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies
[mom]came back. She came back and I stopped.
Having her, I don't feel like smoking or doing
things thatI am not supposedto do."
Another mark of misbehavior families
described was older siblings abusing younger
siblings. When 17-year-old Angela's mother
joined her fatherin the United States,she moved
into her grandparents'house andbecamerespon-
sible for washing her 11- and 13-year-old sib-
lings' clothes, cleaning the house, and washing
the dishes. Hergrandparents complainedthatAn-
gela oftentook out herfrustrationon her siblings,
hittingthem inappropriately. Faviola, auntto 11-
year-oldEric, 8-year-oldEdwin, and 7-year-old
Orlandodescribeda similardynamicamong the
three siblings since their mother left for the
United States, a year earlier.
You know, the oldest one feels very responsible
for the othertwo. It is as if he takeson the role of
the father. He hits his brothers ... The other day,
oh how it mademe wantto cry ... I heardsome
shouts from theirroom and I went to see what
they weredoing.The littleone [Orlando]was on
the floor,doubledover andholdinghis stomach.
The middleone [Edwin]was cryingthathis older
brother[Eric]was beatingup the little one. But
Orlandowas crying because he said his older
brothersaid, "I've hadenoughof you." The old-
er one [Eric]came and said that "it is just that
I've had enoughof everythingme and me all of
the time.I love my brothera lot, butI get tired."
Childrenof migrantparentsmay act out for sev-
eralreasons.Unlike childrenliving with theirpa-
rents,however,childrenin transnationalfamilies
may feel that no one cares about what they are
doing. Although most had concernedcaregivers
and parents, during adolescence, children of
U.S. migrantswantedto feel accountableto their
parents and felt that physical separation pre-
vented this. In addition,childrenof migrantpa-
rents may feel increased responsibility-for
themselves and their younger siblings-after
theirparentsleave. Some teenagerstook out the
pressureof this increasedresponsibilityby acting
aggressively.
School performance. Aside from behavioral
problems,a more widespreaddifficulty families
reportedwas in-school performance.Forty-one
percent of children over age 14 I interviewed
droppedout of school in the middle of theirstud-
ies, and 27% of those over age 7 had been left
back in school at least once. Some had been left
back multiple times. Although comparisonfig-
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1059
ures with local childrenwithout migrantparents
are not available, this finding is supportedby
other researchin Mexico that describeschildren
of migrantparents,particularlyboys, as having
a greaterpropensityto drop out of school than
childrenof nonmigrants(Gioguli, 2004; Kandel
& Kao, 2001). Moreover,thispatternof problems
contradictsthe expectationsof most parentswho
often echoed Angelo who told me, "My idea is
not to live here [U.S.]. It has always been to have
a betterlife there [Mexico]. It doesn't matterto
me that I sacrificethe present-I want my chil-
drento have a careerin Mexico." Given theirpa-
rents' expectations,why do childrenleft behind
have such troublein school?
Interviewssuggest that there are four reasons
that childrenof migrantparentshave difficulties
in school. First,many children,at all age levels,
experiencedlow levels of depressionafter their
parents'departures.Brian,in the 10thgrade,ex-
plainedthatwhen his motherleft while he was in
7th grade, he did not feel like studying much
because he missed her. "It lasted about three,
no, I think two months." For some, the effects
of depressionon schooling were temporary,yet
for most of the teenagersI interviewed,a drop
in performanceafter a parent's departurehad
long-term ramifications. Seventeen-year-old
Roberto,who describedhimself as a very sensi-
tive person, told me he felt sad when he was 12
and his fatherleft for the United States. A year
later, he droppedout of middle school. I asked,
"What happened? Did you want to go to the
U.S. with your father?""No," he answered."I
missed him. I didn't want to go to the U.S., but
I simply didn't feel like studying anymore."
After 2 years,Roberto'sfathercame home. Rob-
erto went back to school, graduatedand, when I
met him, was in his first year of high school. A
few monthslater,Robertodroppedout of school
again. Cynthiaalso droppedout of school for no
apparentreason, much to her migrant fathers'
chagrin, despite claiming to me that the work
was not hardand that she did well in school. In
these cases and others, depressionexpressed as
apathyat school led to a permanentend to their
schooling.
Second, when teenagers misbehave, it may
directlyaffect theirschool performance.School-
teachers I interviewed often complained of
behavioralproblemsamong childrenof U.S. mi-
grants.When askedhow migrationaffectedtheir
schools, the most frequentresponse was disci-
pline. School employees used words such as
1060
"aggressive,""lackingdiscipline,"and "uncon-
trollable"and,only when pressed,would cite ex-
amples of good students who did not fit this
profile. One school directorwas exasperatedin
describingthe 15-year-olddaughterof migrants.
She doesn'thave a stableplaceto live, andkeeps
moving back and forth between differentrela-
tives. I don't know what to do with her. I need
a social workerto deal withher.They took away
my social worker6 yearsago and I haven'tgot-
ten one since.
Although this school of over 400 enrolled stu-
dentsis legally mandatedto have a social worker,
many of the small schools I visited, where more
thanone in fourstudentshadparentsin theUnited
States, were not. Schools in rural Oaxaca are
faced with changing demographicsamong their
studentbody without the funding, training,and
otherresourcesto deal with the emotionalwake
of separation.Teenage children of migrantpa-
rents take their resentmentto school. Teachers'
only recoursefor their disruptivebehavioris to
send them home again.
Third,some studentsdescribedbeing uncom-
fortableat school becauseof peerpressure.When
Dalia's husband,Zalatiel,was away, she saidher
eldest son had troublewith peers at school. "The
oldest boy saidhis classmateswould tell him that
he hadno dad,thatthatwas why he neverwent to
the school meetings.Whenhe would come home
fromschool, he wouldbe sad andI wouldtell him
no and say that he did have his father and we
would spend the afternoonand evening looking
atthe picturesof [Zalatiel]."Anabelalso saidthat
it was hardfor her twins, Fernandoand Jacinto,
theirfirstyear of Middle School.
Theydidn'twantto studyanymoreandI felt bad.
They would say that they felt bad becausethey
didn'thave theirfatherandI wouldsay thatthey
shouldn'tworrybecauseI was going to support
themalwaysandtheyshouldn'tworryaboutit...
AfterI wouldtalkto them,they wouldput more
effortintoit, butonly for a bit.
Her son, 16-year-oldFernando,told me thatnow
that he is working, his friends are different."In
school the otherkids teased me because my dad
was gone. Now, if my friends ask me about it
and I say I don't talk to my dad, they say, 'I am
sorryfor asking'. They just dropit."
Finally, the most common sentiment ex-
pressed by children of migrantparentswas the
lack of academicsupportfromcaregiversin Mex-
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Journal of Marriageand Family
ico. Mostly, this is because the majorityof care-
givers are grandparentswith very low levels of
educationwho areuncomfortablewith the school
system.Manygrandparents do not readandwrite
well so they are not able to monitor children's
work. Of the 37 caregivers I interviewed,
42%-all grandparents-could not reador write
well enough to help their grandchildrenwith
homework.Indeed,the illiteracyrate for elderly
Mexicans in ruralareasis quite high at 44% for
ruralmen age 65 and older and 63% for rural
women age 65 and older in 1990 (Ham-Chande,
1995, p. 35).
Children of migrant parents rarely felt that
caregiversin Mexico were invested in theiraca-
demic progress. Teacherstold me that students
sign off for theirgrandparentson homeworkthat
is incompleteandincorrect.Brian,at age 15, told
me he lacked academicsupportsince his mother
left. "You see at school parentsare supposedto
sign off on our forms. And my grandmotheris
often too tired to go. My uncle is supposed to
do it, but he is never available.So, I sign the pa-
pers myself." I asked who Brian goes to when
he does not understandhis work. "Nobody. I
understandit on my own. Or I studythe books."
Grandparentsmay not be interestedin their
grandchildren's education because they had
madeit withoutschool. A firstgradeteachercom-
plainedthatthreeof his studentslive with grand-
parents.
And these guys are of a differentgeneration.
They are grandparents who do not know how to
read or write. They have a dogmaticcharacter,
which is very difficultto deal with ... They are
closed minded, like they don't want to accept
new options.They will say, "It is that,teacher,I
did not go to school." . . . They don't want to
acceptnew things.
Furthermore,schools in Oaxaca expect pa-
rents, or substitute caregivers, to be highly
involved in children'sschooling (OrdenJurfdico
Nacional, n.d.). The ruralschools I visited orga-
nized mandatoryparent-teacher meetings,imple-
mented compulsory parental review of
homework, and requiredparents' financial and
volunteer supportof school events. As schools
are organizedaroundparentalinvolvement, the
lack of interestor involvement of caregiversin
children's educationis somethingthat children,
such as Dalia's son whose friends teased him
because his father did not go to parent-teacher
meetings, notice. For example, 14-year-old
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies
Briannasaid that she missed her mother-who
she claimed not to love-most when she is at
school, especiallyon May 10th.She told me they
have a programat school and a formal dinner.I
asked, "Do you go with your grandmother?"
"No," Briannaresponded, "She doesn't like to
go to those kinds of things at school." Because
the schools childrenattendareorganizedaround,
and expect, parentalinvolvement, parents' ab-
sences are especially hardfor children.
In summary,like other researchon child mi-
grants,I suggestthatadolescenceis the age where
effects of migration-even when childrendo not
actually move-are most pronounced (Artico,
2003; Myers, 1999; Smith et al., 2004). Teen-
agers are resentful of their parents' absences.
They turnambiguityover parentalauthoritywith
separationto greaterpersonalfreedom,yet they
do not definethis as an advantage;not havingpa-
rents'aroundto scold themmadeadolescentsfeel
their parents' absence more poignantly. More-
over, authorityconflicts and resentmentbleed
into school performance.Teenagers may have
difficulties being successful academically and
lack extra social support they need from area
schools.
Accessing their families' migration resources.
As is trueamongyoungerchildren,teenagers're-
actions to theirparents'absences may affect the
distribution of resources within families. For
one, when teenagers have behavior problems,
some parentsmake the significantexpense to re-
turnhome andto deal with theirchildren.Nican-
dra, for example, returnedtwice in response to
one of her son's problems,totalinga cost of over
$7,000. She workedat a factorywhen I firstmet
her, earningapproximately$300/week.
In addition, migrant parents often heavily
invest in their children's educationalexpenses,
especially for high school and college when the
costs of schooling increaseconsiderablyin Mex-
ico. Lauraandherhusbandwent into debtto send
theiroldest son to studyarchitecturein theuniver-
sity; he dropped out to migrate to the United
States when he learned of their sacrifice, and
when interviewed worked in landscaping in
New Jersey. Similarly, migrant mother, Paula,
workedtwo full-timejobs at fast-foodrestaurants
to be able to send both Cindy and Mateoto a pri-
vate school with her remittances. She also
financed Mateo's first year of college, only to
have both childrendrop out in the midst of their
studiesandMateojoin her as a low-wage worker
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1061
in the United States. She had dreamedof return-
ing to Mexico once her childrenwere professio-
nals and would be able to supporther through
old age.
Thus, despitemigrantparents'hopes thattheir
children will become professionals in Mexico
with the supportof theirremittances,older chil-
dren appearedto often end up working in the
United States like their parents. Parents must
adjusttheirplans accordingly.For example, 16-
year-oldMiguel, who had droppedout of school
the yearbefore, told me thathe hoped to join his
mother in the United States because his salary
working in a supermarketwas much less that
what he calculated he could earn abroad. His
mother resisted, but told me later, "This was
not my plan ... I always thoughtI would work
until I could go back there.But now I guess that
all of us will end up here."
Migrationseemed to become a viable option
for many older children who described their
resentmenttowardtheirmigrantparents'as wan-
ing withtime.Accordingto 19-year-oldMarta,"I
was 13 when I started to feel bad about my
mother. I saw all my friends talking abouttheir
dad or their mom and what they did together
and because I didn't have them, I felt really
bad." When I asked her if she still feels this
way, Marta explained, "I changed-I stopped
feeling so bad. It doesn't affect me anymore."
Although many do not entirelyforgive their pa-
rents, once childrenmatured,they stopped feel-
ing so distraughtand they began to understand
theirparents'actionsbetter.Indeed,scholarssug-
gest that parent-childconflict decreases incre-
mentally throughout the adolescent years
(Laursenet al., 1998). When the emotionalhold
of separationloosens, childrenof migrantparents
often choose to take advantageof their parents'
migrationnetworks.
DISCUSSION
This study shows that children left behind in
Mexican transnational families are deeply
affected by and vulnerableto parentalabsences.
Like other researchthat highlights the negative
consequences of parental absence for children
(Artico, 2003; Salazar Parrefias,2005; Smith
et al., 2004; Suarez-Orozcoet al., 2002), findings
suggest thatchildrenleft behindmay be the most
disadvantaged members of Mexican transna-
tional families.
1062
Yet it would be a mistaketo inferthatchildren
left behind are consequentlypowerless in their
families.To the contrary,I findthattheirnegative
reactionsto separationultimatelyshapefamilies'
migrationtrajectorieswhen parentsmake subse-
quent migratory decisions grounded in their
children'sresponsesto separation.Overtime,pa-
rents are often responsive to their children's
changing needs. They plan trips home to con-
vince their children to migrate at significant
expense, they spendmoney on children'seduca-
tion, despite the difficulties children have in
school, and they often returnhome to deal with
teenager's behavioral difficulties. Geographic
separationoften may make it difficultfor parents
to respond to their children's needs adequately,
leading children to feel that their expectations
of parentsare unmet (see also Smith, 2006). As
a result, children's ability to influence their pa-
rents' decisions regardingmigration is magni-
fied. Children left behind are better able to
shape families' migrationpatternsafter parents
leave thanthey were priorto theirdeparture.Ex-
periences during periods of separationincrease
children'spower vis-a-vis theirparents.
Findings also show that childrenof different
ages expressfeelings of powerlessnessandman-
ifest agencyin shapingfamilies'migrationtrajec-
tories in different ways. Preadolescentchildren
express disappointment at parental absence
through displays of emotional withholding.
These displays affect the emotions of the adults
around them, what some scholars describe as
a process of emotionaltransmission(see Larson
& Almeida, 1999) which, in turn,leads parents
to allocatesignificantresourcestowardreunifica-
tion. Althoughsome young childrenmayjoin pa-
rents in the United States, many otherspressure
parents'to returnto Mexico, preferringto remain
separatedfrom theirparentsthanto migrate.
Adolescent children,in contrast,express dis-
tress at parental absence when they act either
independentlyor aggressively, to their siblings
or others, or both, both at home and at school,
causingparentsto redistributefamilies'resources
to theirchildrenby payingfor schooling,therapy,
and so on. Moreover,as teenagersmature,their
resentment fades and they begin to consider
employment,they find that prospects are better
in the United Statesthanin Mexico. Unlike prea-
dolescents who often refuse parents' migration
offers, many older childrenpressuremigrantpa-
rentsto financetheirmigration.Notably,children
experience an increase in their ability to access
This content downloaded from 128.235.251.160 on Thu, 29 Jan 2015 14:37:13 PM
All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions
Journal of Marriageand Family
families' resourcesover time. Youngerchildren
influencetheirparents'migrationdecisions indi-
rectly by affecting adults' emotions, whereas
adolescents' difficulties and migration aspira-
tions often demand parental resources more
directly, particularlyas they grow older and
may pressure their parents to migrate to take
advantageof parents' social capital in order to
makethe undocumentedcrossinginto the United
States.In otherwords,as childrenleft behindage,
they are able to make more directclaims to their
parents'limitedresources.
This study is limitedin assessing the extent of
children'spower in their families, and the hard-
ship they experience,as comparedto childrenin
nonmigrantfamilies.Yet this articledoes suggest
thatexperiencesof separationarelinkedto child-
ren's ability to manifest power in their families
and to shape families' subsequentmigrationtra-
jectories.Children'sexperiencesof powerwithin
their families should thus be incorporatedin
futurecomparativeresearchon this topic. Find-
ings also suggest thatfutureresearchon parents'
ability to translatemigration into intergenera-
tional mobility must be sensitive to children's
changingneeds overtime, particularlyduringpe-
riods of separationor at the time of reunification,
or both.
CONCLUSION
In the end, in line with researchthat considers
childrenas active agents in their lives (see Cor-
saro, 1997), I have shown that children left
behinddo have some powerin shapingtheirfam-
ilies' migrationtrajectories.Children'sexperien-
ces of hardshipmay translateinto some leverage
in influencingfamilies' distributionof resources
and migrationdecisions over time as parentsare
generallyresponsiveto theirchangingneeds dur-
ing periodsof separation.Moreover,as children
left behindgrow, so too does theirrelativepower
in theirfamilies.
The experiencesof childrenin Mexican trans-
nationalfamilies suggest thatchildrencan expe-
rience power vis-a-vis the parentsin their lives
while they simultaneouslyare disadvantagedas
dependentswithintheirfamiliesandalso because
of theirfamilies' socioeconomic status.As such,
policies aimed to amelioratethe hardshipschil-
drenexperiencebecauseof migrationmustincor-
porate the ways children actively participatein
theirfamiliesin orderto be successful.Sensitivity
to the complexity of children'slives at different
Childrenand Power in TransnationalFamilies
ages is also paramount.Finally, findingssuggest
that scholarshipcannot overlook the ways chil-
dren, while they are children,may influencethe
decisions of the adultsin theirlives.
NOTE
Thisandrelatedresearch wasfundedby a Fulbright /Garcia-
RoblesGrantandtheCaroleandMortonOlshanDissertation
Fellowshipat theGraduate Centerof theCityUniversityof
NewYork.I wouldliketo thankJuliaWrigleyandtheanon- Hondagneu-Sotelo, (1994).
ymousreviewersattheJournalof MarriageandFamilyfor
theirhelpfulcommentson thismanuscript. I amindebtedto
theMexicanchildrenwhogenerously sharedtheiroftendif- Hondagneu-Sotelo,P., & Avila, E. (1997). I'm here
ficultexperiencesandfeelingswithme.
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