WRITING CONCISE MESSAGES

Some letters and memos contain words and phrases that do nothing to carry meaning and do not
add information. Using unnecessary words makes it harder for the reader to understand what you
want to say.

Example:
Please be informed that you should send the cheque to our new office.

"Please be informed" in this sentence is completely unnecessary

Try "You should send the cheque to our new office."

Rewrite the following sentences - eliminate any unnecessary phrases.

1.) I wish to tell you that we will be sending the goods next week.

2.) We are going to make a study of the procedures.

3.) We cannot offer employment to another assistant because of the fact that we have not
achieved our sales target.

4.) I wish to inform you that I would like three days leave for the purpose of a vacation.

5.) I am writing to you for the purpose of informing you that I shall be visiting your area soon.
WRITING CONCISE SENTENCES

Read the extract from a letter. Cross out all the excess and unnecessary words or phrases and
rewrite it. You will need to rephrase and reorganise what you are going to say.

This extract contains 128 words. Try to reduce the number to about 70 words. Make sure that you
include all the relevant information.

Please be advised that I have carefully considered your letter of March 15th, in which you outline in
some detail a plan for the matter of modernising our distribution services at our East Road
warehousing operation.

As a consequence of this, I have placed the proposal that you sent me into the hands of my
assistant, whose name is Jane Marshall, in order that she may determine whether or not this plan
is practical under the specific circumstances.

Miss Marshall will be in touch with you by phone by about the first or second of May with regard to
the above mentioned matter in hand. If it so happens that you wish to consult us at any time in the
intervening period, please do not hesitate to contact us.

 Rewrite the extract here.

How many words did you use?