Lim 1

Emily Lim

4, October 2023

IB English I (HL), Period 2

Mr. Malashewski

Wounds From a Sharpie

If there’s one thing I have learned in my almost 16 years of existence on this planet, it

would be this. The truth about the world is that 95% of the stories and warnings you’ve been told

are real and have happened or continue to happen.

Since I was a young girl, I’ve been told the stories of what it’s like in the “real

world,” or so that's what my father always called it. What it’s like to grow up as a girl, how you

have to behave, how you should come across to a different person.

When I was younger I had this obsession with being “different” and “special” compared

to everyone else. I would always break these rules in terms of my physical appearance. I’d dress

in the most baggy, unattractive pieces of clothes, wouldn’t brush my hair, and wore quite

possibly the ugliest sneakers I have ever seen in my entire life. Maybe it was my obsession with

books and how the main characters always stood out. I wanted to be different like them, almost

like a “pick me” as teenagers call it now. I didn’t like these “rules” society had created for young

girls (like me!) and girls who were older than me.

Since the beginning of time, there have always been these standards and rules that had

been “written” for women to follow. During 1292-1069 B.C. in Ancient Egypt, women were

domesticated and had less rights than men. They were expected to look the same way: slender

bodies, narrow shoulders, high-waisted, and a symmetrical face. During 500-300 B.C. in Ancient
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Greece, they were expected to be fair-skinned and plump. They were expected to worship the

male figure, meaning that their bodies had to be masculine, a disfigured version of a male.

Chinese people favored women with femininity, long black hair, fair skin, and red lips during the

Han Dynasty (206 B.C. - 220 A.D.). They were expected to naturally be thin and have small feet

because shoes were made in 2 sizes at most. In the 1920’s, the ideal type was a flat-chested

woman with, a downplayed waist, short bobbed hair, and a boyish figure. Women at the time

were forced to look as androgynous as possible and have little to no curves.

Throughout time, women have had to learn to adapt their bodies to cater to a male’s eye

and needs. Even in the present, western standards are to be on the shorter side so you don’t

bruise a male’s ego, to be skinny but still have bigger breasts or larger curves at the hips. Most of

the time it would be preferable to have both because it’s “more fun” for a male. You should be a

blond or a brunette, but there are cons to being either.

Beauty standards are a fun thing you know. I’m a 15-year-old, Chinese American girl

living in Honolulu, Hawaii. This means I’m trying to fit in not one, but two (almost three)

different standards of beauty created by society. Most of the time, the beauty standards clash with

each other so it’s quite literally impossible for one to fit in multiple. For example, when it comes

to my body shape, I am told here in America that I should be skinny but have these bigger curves

to be considered “pretty.” In China, they don’t care about having curves, they want you to be

skinny. Like your-bones-need-to-be-showing-through-your-skin kind of skinny. There have been

challenges on Chinese social media of holding a live goldfish in your collarbone because it’s a

test of whether you’re skinny or not. Another example is that in America, the majority of the

population is tanned. If you go anywhere in eastern Asia, you’ll find that they want you to look

as pale as possible. Being compared to Snow White is the best compliment you could get.
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It’s all impossible, isn’t it?

Beauty standards have always existed in the world. New beauty stands are simple to start

as the male gaze gets bored easily. Basically, once a group of people can agree on an ideal “type”

of woman, the trend builds as more and more people jump on the bandwagon. Soon, everyone as

a whole agrees on this type of beauty, before the male gaze gets bored and moves on to a whole

new standard of beauty. These standards have escalated in this generation due to social media.

It’s so easy to see a girl from a totally different place in the world and do one of two things. One:

pick them apart to pieces because they’re not “perfect” enough or two: worship the girl and

declare that she’s the hottest girl alive. It’s also so incredibly easy for girls to see these people

who are considered beautiful by society and want to be them because everything is one click

away.

For me, the self-consciousness in my body and my physical appearance started when I

was around 7th grade. The reason? We girls were going through the starting stages of puberty.

My mind could not wrap around the fact that these girls were developing faster than me. “Why

am I not getting these natural curves that other girls around me have?” I’m naturally a late

bloomer by genetics. All the women in my family started going through puberty at a later age,

just like me. Growing up through middle school and my first year of high school not knowing

why I hadn’t started puberty was hell. I started to pick at my body and hated the way I looked. I

wasn’t considered pretty by Western beauty standards because I was a pale Asian girl with long

black hair. When I finally started the beginning stages of puberty late freshman year, I was so

happy.

Until I wasn’t.
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Developing at a much later time than everyone else still meant that I stuck out like a sore

thumb compared to everyone else. My body was still developing and I was at this awkward stage

of puberty. I still couldn’t understand why I didn’t develop the same natural curves every single

other girl did. The picking apart started all over again, but it was worse.

During lunch one day, my friend and I were standing in the plate lunch line at the

cafeteria. We were talking about something and were waiting until we got to the front of the line

to pick up our food. My friend and I finally got up to the front where we were finally served our

food. My friend is naturally on the skinny side, and I definitely have more weight on me than she

does. I remember I was looking at the worker who was serving everyone their food, and he was

focused on the plate, scooping food. He took one look at me, made a disgusted face, and

proceeded to scoop off half the food on the plate. He handed the plate to me and looked at my

friend while filling up her plate. Again, he makes a disgusted face and adds more food to hers.

We left the lunch line, one plate having half the serving size and the other with double the

amount. We were both so incredibly self-conscious after that. This proceeded for about 3 months.

Throughout these months, the repetition got to a point where I was picking apart my body

more and more. Ultimately, this led to my eating disorder. I stopped eating for about 4 or so

months. It started with slowly lessening the amount of food I was consuming, eating half the

amount of food I was originally eating, to only eating lunch and the smallest amount of dinner

(due to my parents’ protests of course). The funny thing about eating disorders is that you don’t

even realize what’s happening until it's too late. Even with my eating disorder, my body wasn’t

decreasing in size, I wasn’t losing as much weight as I had hoped. Every night, I took Sharpies to

my body and drew out the imperfections on my stomach, creating the curves I wanted.
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You might be reading and thinking “wow she’s so dramatic” or “oh she’s making all of

this up” but I’m not. Breaking down in a room every single day and starving yourself is not

something that can be a joke. This happens to thousands of girls the same age or younger than

me, and even to girls who are older than me. Thousands of girls out there are struggling with

these standards that ultimately lead to taking whatever extremes you can just to fit into what

someone considers “pretty.”

Recovery is hard. When you feel like you’re the only abnormal one because you’re the

only girl in the world doing this to herself, it’s incredibly hard to continue. When you feel alone

in your journey to recovery it’s impossible. It is impossible. Almost.

Recently, women have been given the platform to speak through versions of art about

these impossible beauty standards.

Anyone who knows me knows that my favorite artist of all time is no other than the

songwriting queen herself, Taylor Swift. You might know her as “the girl who only writes songs

about her exes” but she writes about so much more. Taylor Swift, too, struggled with an eating

disorder throughout 2014 during the release of her album 1989. You know, Shake It Off, Blank

Space, Bad Blood? Around the time of the start of my recovery, I had rediscovered her music and

what she has done in her career. Taylor Swift is one of the only songwriters and music artists

who is truly raw and vulnerable in their songs and lyricism.

I remember on October 21st, 2022 at 5:50 pm Eastern Standard Time, I was waiting

anxiously for Midnights, Taylor Swift’s 10th studio album to drop. When the album dropped,

around 6:15 pm that day, You’re On Your Own Kid, the 5th track on the album, played. One of

the things she loves to do is make Track 5 her most emotionally valuable song in the album. I

was so excited to hear this song. The bridge was what did it for me. I remember hearing her
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practically summarizing the events that she's been through in her life, and crying right there on

the spot. The bridge opened up with “From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I gave my blood,

sweat, and tears for this. I hosted parties and starved my body like I’d be saved by a perfect

kiss.” The song ends with one of my favorite lyrics: “So make the friendship bracelets, take the

moment and taste it, you got no reason to be afraid. You're your own kid, yeah you can face

this.” This bridge itself made my struggles feel seen, and millions of other people on the internet

can agree.

The ability to feel connected to her songs as a girl growing up within the standards set for

women is evident in many of her other songs and forms of media. She’s spoken so much about

her body image (Miss Americana - 2020), and the comparison of women online (You Need To

Calm Down - 2019). She’s written about how much women need to do to actually accomplish

something compared to a man (The Man - 2019), and how hard we need to try to fit in

(mirrorball- 2021). She’s created songs about confidence and loving yourself (Shake It Off -

2014) and has called out the media on cyberbullying (Mean - 2010). Even from her debut album,

she’s talked about staying true to yourself (Stay Beautiful - 2006) and she is truly inspiring with

her recovery (Clean - 2014). She’s created a safe space for women to just… feel.

Recently, another form of media created solely for girls growing up in society was

released. The Barbie movie is one of my favorite moments in film history… ever. Gloria, a

character in the movie, has a monologue about her experiences of being a woman in today’s

society. “It is literally impossible to be a woman… Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but

somehow we’re always doing it wrong…. I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single

other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is true for a doll

just representing women, then I don’t even know.” Her monologue brought me to tears and I
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could hear sniffles of every other girl, young, and old crying in the theater about how true the

words from characters in a movie about Barbie dolls were.

Internationally, women have started to take that step as well. I’m a big fan of K-pop.

Many female idols perform songs about body image and fitting into the standards that are put

upon them. Tally (2022) by BLACKPINK shares a message about doing what makes you feel

good and happy. Songs Tomboy (2022), Nxde (2022), Queencard (2023), and Allergy (2023) by

(G)I-dle share powerful messages about not fitting into the beauty standards and being okay with

it, a callout to people who take everything a girl does and sexualize it, being confident in your

own skin, and the effect of media in one’s confidence about their body.

The struggles of a girl should be heard. No one should feel alone while being in recovery,

getting into recovery, or even the feeling of having self-conscious thoughts about your body

image. We as a society need to start to acknowledge the struggles we’re putting on women, and

change the mindset of tying us down to a certain image. We shouldn’t need to feel like we have

to look the same, act the same, or be the same just to get the slightest bit of acknowledgment of

“Yay you’re starting to fit!” from the public. Beauty standards have never been the same, so why

do we try to fit in them? Why do we have them? Why do we need to have them?

Take my story. Let it be a story you tell to the younger girls growing up. Let them know

that they don’t have to be the same. Or use it as an example of a person who wasn’t good enough

and didn’t put enough effort to be perfect. Use my hurt as a warning of what happens to a girl if

they don’t follow the leader. Make your decision. But don’t come back years later regretting not

listening to me when you contribute to the hurt of another young girl like me.

The choice is yours. Pick it wisely.

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Works Cited

Burack, Emily. "Read America Ferrera's Powerful Monologue in Barbie." Town and Country, 5

Aug. 2023, www.townandcountrymag.com/leisure/

arts-and-culture/a44725030/america-ferrera-barbie-full-monologue-transcript/. Accessed

29 Sept. 2023.

Edwards, Vanessa Van. "Beauty Standards: See How Body Types Change Through

History Read more at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/beauty-standards/." Science of

People, www.scienceofpeople.com/beauty-standards/. Accessed 29 Sept. 2023.

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Emily Lim

4, October 2023

IB English I (HL), Period 2

Mr. Malashewski

Rhetorical Analysis

Lim begins her paper fighting female standards by establishing that women have had to

listen to these standards from when they were young, throughout the rest of their lives. She

narrates her experiences with standards and her childhood, starting with her experience of being

told “the stories” growing up. She expresses her young, rebel-like mindset of not wanting to

follow the standards and how she had an “obsession with being ‘different’ and ‘special’.” She

then explains that the point was that at a young age she “didn’t like these ‘rules’ society had

created” for girls like her. Lim establishes the fact that not just teenagers and adults have to

follow standards, but every girl young or old knows of these standards and are pushed to follow

them.

Lim then brings overcoming emotion by narrating her personal experiences.

She describes that these standards have gotten to the point that she, like many other girls, took

whatever it took to “fit into what someone considers ‘pretty.’” She paints images of her pain and

recovery, and opens up about how difficult her recovery was. Her story brings emotions to the

reader, quietly pushing them to do something about these impossible standards set for women.

When describing her recovery, she lists music artists that have helped her in her recovery,

including Taylor Swift. She then not only provides the meaning behind some of her music, but

tells her story or how she’s struggled with these standards too. This gives examples of how the

author was able to connect, but shows the readers the “ability to feel connected” if they need to
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too. Giving a synopsis of Swift’s music shows the readers an example of another girl who’s

struggled against these standards who is now pushing for more change.

Lim ends her paper by warning readers of what could happen and to take what

she’s written and to do something with it. She confronts the readers with the decision to use her

story to uplift “the younger girls growing up” or as an “example of a person who wasn’t good

enough.” She pushes a choice on the readers to choose the choice that will be the least hurtful to

an innocent young girl and warns to pick that choice “wisely.” The pressure of choice after

reading her story pushes readers to do better, think better, and make a change to protect women

around the world.