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    A Primer For Parents

    Uploaded by

    marisol_lzr

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    © All Rights Reserved
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    of 49
    cation MONTESSORI ANo Your CHILD A Primer for Parents Terey Mauoy ‘With Istratins of Montszor Materials in Color ‘This iustrated manual will help all parents of young children, hot just Montessori pacents, understand and assis inthe growth oftheir children. ‘What is your child realy Tike? What does your child need? How can you help your child? ‘These are the questions asked in the fist three sections of Monesson anp Your CHIL. In nse, the author presents the world through the eyes of acid, ‘with its own particular requirements which are different fom those of adults. Practical suggestions for materials useful in the hhome are offered along with observations about child develop tment. A last section describes the best in preschool edveation from the Montessori point of view. ‘The author, an experienced Montessori teacher, includes a helpful bibliography for parents. A Sehocken hardcover edition is available. SCHOCKEN BOOKS 200 Modlion Avenue New York City 10016 1SBN 0.9052.0520-9 MONTESSORI AND Your CHILD A Primer for Parents Terry Matioy i la tl With Mlustrations of Montessori Materials in Color eT wl OY BCSSEENCYE 2 SOHOCKEN BOOKS /$9520/84.98 ‘Schocken Books on Montessori ‘Montessori and Music: Rhythmic Activites for Young Children Montessori~A Modern Approach MALLOY, TERRY Montessori and Your Child: A Primer for Parents Dr. Montessor's Own Hinbook (MONTESSORI, ARIA From Childhood to Adolescence: Including Erdkinder and ‘The Function ofthe University ‘The Montessori Elementary Material ‘The Montessori Method Spontancous Activity in Education "The Montessori Revolution in Education Education for Human Development: Understanding Montessori ‘The Montessori Revolution in Education or complete aaog wet to SCHOCKEN BOOKS Bix Montessori and Your Child A Primer for Parents Terry Malloy pe ne SCHOCKEN BOOKS + NEW YORK Copyright © 1974 by Terry Malloy ete aes econ Library of Congress Catalog Card 7 Wo. Poeaoeet Manfactured in the United States fof America Drawings by Paul Berkow This is dedicated to the one | love MSA) Contents Parr one WHAT 15 YOUR CHILD REALLY Like? Prat Two WHAT Does YouR cHILD NEED? Part THREE: How CAN You HELE youR cHiLD? Pret Four WHAT IS THE MonTessoR! way? Apeenpx Biguiceraeny This hardbeok is written for parents of young children especially of those between 2% and 6 years of age lf purpose ‘sto help them understand and assist in The groath of “their child In the spirit of vespect. for cock individual child, "he" ard "she" have been used on alternate pes PART One Waar is yooR CHILD ReaLy Like? Have “you ever been armeyed because someone ums rushing you? Your childs natural rhythm is ‘much slower than yours He does not have your adult sense of time. To him, Things do ret seem so ugent He cannot plan fr the Future as you do. Your child life exists for him in the present moment Do you feel resentful when someone else fells you what to do? A desire to be independent is one of the Strongest drives in your child While she needs and wants your help and guidance, a young child has @ very strong urge “e be indeperdent, thet i= to do as mich as she can for herself ard by herself. 10 Have you ever experienced the difference between) reading or heanir aheut somethir and Then “actually deing it yoursel@? The young child learns through using his senses. r childs Senses are veri Strong; smells, sounds, tectures, cdors‘ and tastes are all new and exciting fo him. He learns abot the world through his physical contact with the ‘things in it Do yeu remember hew it fels when someone yeu Care for hurts your feelings? A young child is very sensitive Year child has vot yet learned to contro! her Feelings as an adult can. She. feels” everything very direlly and strongly. Nor hes’ she \damed fo express her feelings as adults de Her hurt“ feelings may remain buried inside te er may express Themselves ia Assruphve, angry behavior Do yeu thiok you could learn fo ply tennis by reading a book,” by watching others, or by having someone tell you About the game 7 Young children learn by doing While edulis can learn seme things by reading, uantching or heaty tatormattion your chid learnt alewst completely by doing things himsel ~ He is still lagely developing his bed ard Wie ind aod he does” this by using them Po yeu feel geod when your yo Surroundir Me neat end wnell- erganiaed ? Your child has a very strey serse of order. 7 9 She needs 0 live ia an environment vihere things hove their proper ples. ‘She uals wore ™ regular reutines in her kee tO gwe order to her day A Young child can be deeply disturbed by disorder; she may even “cry when Something is out of place, allthougy she does not Know the cause of her distress. Have you ever beer hurt woken a friend, perhaps unknewngly, tnsulled “you? oe your child has a strony sense Cf personal dignity He does rot yet have ue adult sere of perspective He cannot brush off @ pereral hurt or anale ov ephin it fo himself. To yeur child, any attack on his personal dignity is a rejection of him aS & person ; is Someone gaying he iS, in some way, worlkless or a failure. Was there ever @ person you admired and ted te be like? Your child learns mainly though iimitatiag the adults in her life who are closest fo her A young childS parents are the model fuhun che mibatec in learning about fe. Her atthde is much like one who worships an idol. She copies ony adult actions ard attitudes and also stores much of what she sees fr later use as she matures lave you ever Feit really geod “about something new hat you learned? A natural urge to grow , to expand and to develop (5 the base drive in the young child All living things must grow ia Sane tay ie they are. to stay alive To gour child, thé world is tofally new and must be -exylered © Each new thing that he discovers and learns about helps him fo his growth foward adulthood. Gan you remember the pleasure oF jee Some Thi new and loity it over“and over again? Repetition is an important wa ‘hrowh which your child leans Quite naturally, she Aten repeats sone actwity' many Himes. In This way, She can master it She also repeats things because they are So new and interesting Hay Cie fascivated by the fact that she can do that she 1s making Somethi happen, that she Gan control the urd around her: “ Did you ever woke up with achity muscles a€ter’ havin tried” a new physical achutly? The muscles of the young child are lagely undevelofed four child needs many years of Please the ‘muscles in orler fr them to develop. This cceurs in different stages as your childs bedy grows and dianges There are certain thigs a yourg child simply cannot do “because his beady is rot developed enough 9 Hae you ever noticed That when you “really Concentrate you legen Betier and Faster ard even enjoy it more? Your child has a very sto natural ability to Concentrate on ore particular thing at a time A childs intense ability to comerirate alleus her to involve herself entirely in learning something. (f she 1s nd interrupted, her concentration can last for long perieds of time 20 Have you ever felt really satishied because you did a jeb well? The young child actually prefers work “ over play Given a choice, your child will prefer to do “real” work such aS cleaning, cocking or gardening rather than “play” Children have a deep love for work and ‘they org ‘fo shaw in the adult orld of aloing meaningful, necessary tosks. They want to” participate ia family {i6e and hely to care for themselves anid their environment. 2 Did you ever feel that no one realy understands you the way you understand’ yoursel ©? Your child 's "self centered", that is, she is mainly aware of her own Feelings and desices and hes not yet dewloped a trie sense A feeling for other people A true Sense of understanding and being considerate of others iS an adult quality that takes many years to devtlep. The redbrn fy kaw aly, hace Gradually, raterally, & “child develops an aumenes of ethers thrayh, her any years of sccial arttacts 22 Did you ever Geel a little sorry uten jou Finished srakirg something couse doing it ims so rruch fun? Your child ts mainly (aterested in the process doing things; he is not vere Seni with the end result. Although the Gnished product may please a child and give him a sense of success art” accomplishment, his real plaswe isin the actvi of work itself. The adult concem with a Gdure geal dees not prececupy The young child; he {8 totally involved tr the present ‘moment of what he 15 doing 23 Have you ever felt rs you were oot old” fo teat something new 7 The young child has certain “sensitive periods" when it is easiest for her te learn Some particular ‘thing Sensitive periods come at slight, ditoent mes Joa childs ie, but all children have them, It is imporlant for adults to recogize these times and provide the child with proper assistance So she can learn each kill or concept at the time that is best for her (See table of senmitive periods in Appendix.) cy waar Prat Two Doss cHiLo your Nee? Your child needs love, warmth and security, The young child's dependent on adults fr many things, but the mest important is @ sense of being cared for Moments of physical closeness, acmile, a kiss and a hg to express the love you Feel for your child are vital tr his ‘development, Such signs of a€tection should always be rotural and never be forced upon a child 27 Jour child needs to be treated with respect. A young child, with her stro serne Of personal dignity and her deep sensitivity, “needs to be treated with respect. Jour child needs to be listened fo by the adults in her world She needs to see that her own feelings and ideas are impocant “and worthy 2 Consideration. She needs to tel That she is inhded as a Yespected member of her Family This does not mean that she needs to "get her uny"; your child does net really want to rule, only to share ae Jour child needs understanding Although yew may not always agree wh el, our. young child needs to feel that you wanderstand him Taking time fe listen, te consider and perhaps te chome in response to his feelings and tdeas ‘helps your Child build feelings of elt vaspact aad increases his love and respect for you 29 Jour child needs Freedom to ‘explore her world Your child needs open Space, both indeors and ouldeors, In which she can move about freely 30 dour child needs faedom to learn by himself He needs objects in his environment © that he can Freely handle and manipulate without adult interference. Jour child needs sensible rules and limits in her life that are enforced Fairly and consistently Jour child ts relatively inexperienced and needs the benefit of your Knowledge. She also needs ‘© leorn how te live happily with other People Sensible, Flexible rules and limits that she can accept and fellow easily ave important. They should be agreed upon by bath parents, presented to the “child and enforced firmly and cheerfully They give your child a sense A security in her envivonmen tand in ‘her relationships with others 32 Yow child needs much time to explore his wedd and to do things for himself Since a young childs sense of tine differs ~ from that of an adult, he should not be rushed By being allowed te explore his world slewly, your child can leam things at his wn natural jew In the same way, he requires Buftcrent” time tallow him to do Things for himselé in his own way without adult interference 33 Your child needs an orderly environment and regular routines i her life To the very young child, the world 1s a Gontusing mass unknown things. AS she grows, she explores her world learns many things about it In order to make sense of it all, geur child needs an order environment and atmosphere in which to live and grow Parents whe provide such order for their child help her to develop in a natural, healthy way so that she can understand and learn to deal with life. at Your child needs to have many opporhunihies for success fin his. life Whenever your young child succeeds at something, he has a seme of personal worth: ne has also furtherad the evelopment of his mind and body Adults can provide guidance that wil allow a child to renee as many successes as possible and, in contrast, as foes failures as pessible (See suggestions Gr parents ia Append 35 Your child needs frequent praise and encouragement Honest praise and encouragement fom adults help your child te feel good about “herself She feels a Sense Of personal worth and ts motivated to continue her eFfer's fo learn A child does net require a reat deal of praise or false enthusiasm- these can achally harm her. But a Few, genuine, warm words or! gestures of appreciation” or her efterts and her personal qualities are very important for your child 36 Your child needs to fad out "who he (s" and hew he is unique Fach of us is different in some ways from -evenpne else A sense of how he is unique is ingortant fo the growth & your child. He needs fo feel special i some way and te have this quality recegnined by others, especially his parents 7 Your child needs human companionship. The young child needs more than ost” the presence of other people ‘She needs to do things with them, +0 interact with them flour Child warts you to rect Ker aah an “indbual aed include her in your life. She alse jeeds other adults and Childen around her. This helps her to learn to deal with and enjoy Ai€terent Kinds of people 38 Nour child needs a skmulating ‘environment. The young child shows limitless curiosity He needs to have 4 skmulating environment that he can explore Rely ard lear from This environment 's created & a large extent by parents. They can provide proper materials in “the heme and also take their child te interesting plaes outside the home. As always, a geod balance is importan?,; overstimulation must be awided Your child needs fine 40 filly “explore something new beloré he is realy for the next new thing, 39 Your child needs the right environment to develop her mind and bedy Part THREE How CAN Yeu HeLe Since your child learns mainly YouR CHILD? Throwgh her senses in growin lente oF conplesty, she reeds an environment that matches her particular needs at any guen tee When you know what matevials fo provide her with, your childs growth and learning will odur naturally and efforlessly , she wall actualy teach hérself with enly a minimum of guidaneé From The adult world 40 Treat your child with respect and censideration. Listen to your child when he wants to tell you something Try te bend down or sit 30 that” you are on his level and there Is eye contact between you Try to undertord your childs ideas ard Feelings and ‘consider then Ja your family Wife. Remember ‘that thisgs “which seem trivial to you can be very important to your child Include your child ia family ans dnd decisions whenever possible. Help him feel that he an important member oF his family 3 Be flexible in your relationship with year ond young children grow and change very ropidl child needs a Flexible "reldtorship with her parents so that rules and regulations can be medified 4 suct her changing needs Decisions to make such charges should be made b beth” pocente and Should” be discussed with the child and clearly explained fo her. at Provide your child with definite stnctures that still leave reom for freedom Your child needs the security and guidance that firm, sensible rules “provide He should be infermed of all rules and given brief explanations when necessary. IF rules are carefull thought out and regularly entoréed, your child will usually Accept Fen without difficulty IF achild ts greatly unhay about a rule, tuther “thought” should be given to it and possible changes mode if parents see Gt "Very often, Family discussions including your child are a geod uny fo ‘handle this 45 Consider your childs slower sence of time When your child fs near you, tre fo Ledp your movement bo and deliberate. Plan ahead so That you will not have to rush your child - fell her well in advance of an event Such as going shey so that she pil a TE hersalé at her own speed Alan to spend some time each day in some actvity with your child that will be panies and enjoyable for both of your Allow time for your child te complete each ‘activily that she begins. IF an actuity has become exiverely complex or ‘tring, you may assist her in conipleting it~ but never de it for her. 46 Dorit do anything for your child that he cat do” himself. Allow and encourage your child to d “your chi lo Things that he is veady and able te do. Teach him to feed himself, dress himself, do simple chores such as dusting, gathering leaves and watering plants” Demenshate each activity to him in a slow, simple maner with as few words as possible, and let him try himeel? Do nat correct mistakes; TF a child 15 not ready for some achiity, show him again” ansther Hime. Give your child time to learn and to practice each activity, Allow him to help at home whenever passible~ suggest, do not ever force Children enjoy such werk and will usually partélpate cheerfully, Do nat Fedo “your childs work In Kis presence; accept what he 1S able to do goeausl 47 Provide your child with freedom 10 cheose” whenever possible Respect Gr her induiduaity ard need for Freedom are shown by parents whe allow their child Some genuine choices. For example, you may ask your child (€ she” wants vanilla or checolate ice cream; if she tarts te play with a Frend or go to the park; if she wants to wear her blue dress or her red one, if she wants te put the kins or the gbsses on the table hearning te make such choices 15 an important part af growirg up a8 | | | | Give your child as man Bae ee oe: as possible. Because you know your own child, you Can usually fell what he can and canst do. Present him with achuiies that he will be able to perform without too much difficulty or error. Help him by Showing him what to do in a careful, simple, Slow way, and then allow him to try for himself Praise your childS successes, ignore “aay failures, and remove &ny matérials that you see are Shil foo diffreult for him. You can often be guided by the interest your child shows In Something ; Such real interest is @ powerful motivation Or learning 49 Try 40 be posite in your dealings wtih your eid Find ancther way to tell her things 0 you can avoid Using Such words as "don't", “cant”, must not’, "shouldnt" and “wrerg" If, for example, your child is pounding her fists on the table, explain ge the table is for eating and that she can use clay for pounding- then direct her to the “clay. \F your child has been wiping 2 table and has overleked a” spot, need only point to it, or perhaps Say "one more spot, bad ‘the table will be perfect Negative words make your child feel badly about hereel€? positive, helpfel reactions help her €cel independent and success Ful. 30 Use precise lar uchen Bete Yeu can greatly assist your childs ability ae Rineel€ Clearly by “using careful speech ‘rout "hin? iz A young child is corttnually learning new werds and expandi his Veabatary pase teue! powers of Communication. Help your child leom the names of oa things in his world by using them yoursel (instead of “please give me that thing over there", try to Say “please give me the red beok on the end table" 6 Whenever possible, let your child use real objects Toys that look ‘like real objects, but dat work as they do are Frustrating fo the young child ard only sere to confuse’ and sometimes anger her. She may Feel that she fs not “goad” enough Yo use the real thifg Your child prefers to use the Objects she sees adults handlir Rey stsel dust pon ond bean, @ small sponge and wash tub, a little rake and hoe ave excellent learning devices &r your child, She can perform veal tasks, help in family chores and actwities , and have a genuine sense of accomplishment as she leams and performs meaninghil work sz Think of yourself as a medel That your child ts going to copy ant learn from Your young child spends much of his fie “in your presence. He learns From watching you and imitating you. l€ you want your child to be ‘you want your chi loving, honest, orderly or gentle it oo best fo be like this yourself When a child is continually scolded or spanked, he learns fo behave this way toward others. Parents should be aware of the tremendous power they have in Shapiag their childs ~ life and personality 53 Frovide your child with opportuntties fo be Gith other children. Jour chid needs and enjeys the presence of other children, both her age and of other ages Before the age of three, children geldom communicate directly with fone ancther or show awareness & others as Separate and diféevert individuals. However, some exposure to other cnildeen, even before three, can help war chid learn to get along with ‘others and enjoy their Company After three or four, such contacts with other children assist her intellectual growth and are essential (Gr her secial development. 54 Provide your child vath a stimulating environment suited te his needs Parents who know their child abilities at any given time can provide materials and activities that will reat ly assist his growth and development. Young children can be given a small tub & ater and some plaste bottles Sponges and strainers fo work with: also useful are a sandbox, pail, shovel ard usatering can; shells and gees sorting and counting, playdo: ana cookie cutiers, ee fen aad butions. these are a fui Suggestions. Provide your child with his own wasrke area or table; give hima Few, Shards objects Thal ave his to work with? Inteduce new objects slowly and gi him time to become completely familiar vaith them betGre you give’ him Something else Books, magazines and teachers can hele You Cheese agpropriate materials for your child. (€ possible, find a pre-primat scheal for year ut : i ‘ The importance of the years om birth to ix in the formation of the adult is now agreed upan by mest experts. While it Bako agreed that parents and home life are the most vital influence 17 © youra childs life, & geod pre-primars Se eee a enn in your child's growth Trained professterals can ofan provide specific kinds of help rot available in the home, they can give a child long-range atlertion that parents lo riot aluays have hime fr. Ideally, parents and schools should werk tegeiher for the benefit of the child Things learned at scheol can be reinforced at home, consistenay belween schol and heme help your child Feel secure and able to understand and deal with her worl 36 Per Four WHAT 1s) THE Monressor| way? The Montessori methed can help your child to grow ia many ways, Many of the characteristics of your ‘yourg child, as mentioned in “Part One, were observed by Maria Montessori Dr. Montessori devised a system of early childhood education that was specifically designed to meet the bic needs of ‘the child, discussed in fart Tio. Her methads and eneretes are in accord with the suggestions in Part Three. The Montessori method itself has mary aspects and a well-trained Montessori clvectress has studied and worked a great deal But the basic tdeas and concepts of the system are easily understead dy all = Maria Montessori had a unique understanding cf young children Born ia Italy in 170, Maria Montessori became the first woman dector in her countrys history Her early werk was with reerded ard Very poor children; by close observation and experimentation, Dr. Montessori devised a system of eduation that helped handicapped “and ceprived children’ learn as well as normal and average children. Hier methods bearme werd known and many countries adopted them. Today there iS @ renewed interest in her system in the United States. Her insghia into childeen ard her teas fr helping them grew into healthy, wal-rourded adults seem fresh and “meaningful teday The Bilures oF tratitinal methads of education are becoming more and more cbvious. The Morkessori way ers a sensible cinectured system ‘that allows a child 40 develop at her own pace, using her own abilities, with the guidance of a, tained Montessori! directess and the use of specially designed Montessori materials 6 The Montessori system has three main parts: the child, the environment and the directress. At the heart of any system of early childheod edacation should be the child. Maria Montessori based her entive method on her observations and understandieg of the child as he is, not as adults immagine he might or should be Dr. Montessori then devised a fotal environment to help the child develep himself as a total huran being She Saw the role of the teacher as one of directing activity rather than actually teaching, “So she preerred tx use the name ‘irecless” instead of “teacher” “ Montessori sees your child as she really is The Montessori method allows your child to learn the way she learns best and easiest by doing things herself. Basically, she teaches” herself, Within certain limits, your child can Cheese work that appeab fo her awn inner interests. She can exercise her Sense of freedom and spontanety; she feels joy and enthusiasm 1n learning because She 's doing what she wants to cle instead of what someone ¢'se tells her she must de Gradually, the child builds a sense of independence and sel#-congidence as her skills increase, The Montessori methed ts built on your child's nethureal love of leayning arid instills a life-long ynotivation fr continuous learning. It helps your child remain in todch with her natural grouth and development and avoids Greing her to do anything she (snot truly ready fer, oz The Montessori environment is our childs "teacher" Ina Montessori school, your child teaches himsel€ throw his ase Of the specialy designed Montessori materials. These are attractive, generally simple, child-sized materials That are self. correcting: that 6 1€ @ child makes an errr, hé can See tt by looking at the material itself In this way, no adult ts needed 40 pornt out his mistake and perhaps injure’ his self-esteem Your child leams to work alone and with others in a Montessor’

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