 Top Menu

(https://vadamagazine.com/)

 Main Menu 

Nathaniel J Hall: “Sometimes survival means knowing when to leave”

 16 October, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/features/nathaniel-j-hall-toxic-interview)  Hadley Stewart (https://vadamagazine.com/author/hadley-stewart)

 Share on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-interview)

 Tweet on twitter (https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?

 (whatsapp://send?text=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”
text=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-

 (https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-
https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-interview)
j-hall-toxic-interview)

 (https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-
interview&media=&description=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”)

interview&title=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”)

About Latest Posts

Hadley Stewart (Https://Vadamagazine.Com/Author/Hadley-Stewart)

Hadley Stewart is Features Editor at Vada Magazine.

(https://vadamagazine.com/author/hadley-
stewart)
The Manchester-based theatre-maker and actor returns to the stage with a play that unpicks a toxic relationship and
holds a mirror to queer shame.

If there’s one thing that Nathaniel J Hall knows, it’s that he doesn’t want to be famous. The theatre-maker and actor found himself flirting with fame,
having starred alongside the likes of Olly Alexander and Lydia West in the record-breaking, tear-jerking, lockdown-binging Channel 4 series, ‘It’s A
Sin’. What happened next was almost predictable: glamorous parties, unsolicited DMs, and even a Coca-Cola campaign. But Hall wasn’t feeling it. “I
was surrounded by the who’s who of the TV industry,” he recalls. “And what an incredible opportunity. But it made me realise that I quite like my
quiet life here in Salford with my dogs.”

Today, however, that quiet life isn’t exactly going to plan. Hall is in the final stages of preparation before his show hits the stage at Manchester HOME
in mid-October, yet the pneumatic drilling outside his window hasn’t stopped all morning. Fortunately, tools are downed moments before we start
our video call. His dogs, on the other hand, do make an appearance during our interview.

In addition to learning about the downsides of fame from working on ‘It’s A Sin’, Hall tells me that the show’s creator, Russell T Davies, is now a friend
and mentor. “The story of ‘It’s A Sin’ and the fact that Russell didn’t write it straight away, because he’d experienced and lived through that, taught
me a lot,” he explains. “I think he took the time to process what had happened and found the right time to make sure that piece of art was put into
the world when the world was ready for it.”

It’s these lessons that he has taken with him as a theatre-maker today: “If I have a story in me now, I think about why I want to tell it, when do I want
to tell it, and who do I want to tell it to.”

Right now, it’s time for Hall to tell the story of a toxic relationship. It was 2019 and Hall’s career was, in his words, skyrocketing. His one man show,
‘First Time’, which recalls the events surrounding him receiving his HIV diagnosis, was on stage at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. The show would
later win two awards and receive a 5-star review in The Stage. It was also around that time that he received a phone call saying he had got the part in
‘It’s A Sin’. “It felt like I’d escaped the shackles of the shame of living with HIV, that had held me back for so long,” he says. Yet behind the scenes,
things were very different. “My personal life was a real mess.”

RELATED ARTICLE Gaucho marks turning 21 with a special celebratory dish

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/gaucho-marks-turning-21-special-celebratory-dish)

There were hints of trouble in the wings, though. In the opening scene of ‘First Time’, Hall’s character is running around the stage in his underwear,
almost manic, having not slept in days. “So I was alluding to that,” he tells me of what was happening behind closed doors. “But ‘Toxic’ is delving
into more of what was going on and what that means. My life has been plagued by toxic relationships, both in a romantic sense as a long term
partner, and also in a more casual sense in terms of sexual relations. I wanted to explore why that was.”

Hall’s latest offering, ‘Toxic’, is set in Manchester in 2017, where two broken hearts (played by Hall and Josh-Susan Enright) meet at a sweaty queer
warehouse party. But their past experiences will mean that the couple is doomed from the start. “The audience will watch how they spectacularly
fuck it up,” shares Hall.

The play is semi-autobiographical, having drawn from other people’s experiences, as well as his own, whilst writing the script. Hall attended therapy
after his own toxic relationship broke down. It got him thinking about the trauma of being diagnoses with HIV at a young age, the shame he felt
about being gay, and internalised homophobia spilled into his relationship. He also spoke with other gay and bisexual men about their experiences
and was surprised to hear that many of them had been through, in some form or another, a toxic relationship.

“I thought, hang on a minute, there’s a problem here,” he recalls. Delving further into his exploration of queer men’s experiences, Hall read Straight
Jacket by Matthew Todd, turning the pages whilst crying. Then he looked at the research: higher rates of depression, alcoholism, substance misuse,
anxiety and suicide within the LGBTQ+ community.

RELATED ARTICLE Unveiling the heart of Manchester: A stay at Kimpton Clocktower Hotel

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-hotel)

“We want to be out and proud, we want to be in those Pride parades and waving a rainbow flag, we want to show young people it’s okay to be gay or
trans,” Hall tells me. “There are people who have kids in our community, there’s acceptance, there’s love, there’s celebration… And there totally is
and that’s totally right. But I think sometimes we want to slightly sweep under the carpet what lots of us are going through behind closed doors,
because we don’t want anyone to weaponize that against us.”
It must be emotionally draining, even triggering, to write and perform a play that touches on these themes, I suggest. “Almost every time I go back to
the script, I have a little cry,” replies Hall. “But the process of writing, any writer will tell you this, is pretty cathartic. Writing ‘First Time’ for me was
almost like having trauma-based therapy, which I did eventually go on to have later.”

When he goes back to unpick his own story and the stories of other queer men, Hall says he does this with compassion and honesty. When he sat
down to write ‘Toxic’, he told himself that he wanted to hold himself accountable for his previous actions or decisions – some of which he isn’t proud
of. Equally, the play isn’t about getting back at his ex. “This isn’t a piece of revenge art,” he adds. “It’s about saying, despite all this, we didn’t just
survive it, we’re thriving after it.”

Hall acknowledges the increase in hate that LGBTQ+ people are facing today and the need for positivity. He also admits he has been having sleepless
nights over whether or not this is the story the queer community needs right now. “Lots of people are seeking queer joy and want to see that on
stage, and I’m totally here for that,” he says. “But I think this is a story that actually says here’s the real world impact of that hate, here’s what’s
happening in the domestic space or in the home.” He clarifies that he does not think queer people are bad people. “We survive all that stuff, we have
all that extra stress, we all carry that around all the time. It’s bound to overflow in different ways. That takes an awful lot of resilience to overcome
that.”

RELATED ARTICLE Manchester travel deal ahead of Pride weekend

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/travel/manchester-travel-deal-ahead-pride-weekend)

For the show’s audience, Hall hopes that they watch it and are able to see some of the warning signs earlier, or that it sparks an internal conversation
about self-worth and stepping away from a toxic relationship. “Sometimes survival means knowing when to leave” is the line that Hall says
resonates the most with him – he wants his audience to take that away with them. There is hope, though. ‘Toxic’ might be about negative
experiences that many queer audience members will be able to relate to, however, Hall reassures me his script does allude to hope too.

‘Toxic’ is produced by Dibby Theatre, Hall’s theatre production company which he co-runs with producer Ross Carey. Alongside starring in the show,
Hall has been working alongside Carey to manage the team working behind the scenes. It’s a huge undertaking, with the pair not only preparing to
put on the show in Manchester, but a 40 day tour in the Spring of next year awaits too. In addition, Dibby Theatre also works with the local
community, through community outreach projects as well as a talent development programme for LGBTQ+ creators, producers and backstage crew.
“It keeps me busy and out of trouble,” says Hall of the workload.

Hall is clearly passionate about helping the next generation of theatre-makers in Manchester. It’s a city that Hall argues “has always been incredible
when it comes to the Arts” and one that is very much thriving with local artists. The poverty and depressing architecture, as he puts it, are inspiration
for artists of all generations.

So what’s next for Nathaniel J Hall? Right now, he’s currently drowning in spreadsheets, as he prepares for next year’s tour. In the long term, Hall
wants to leave a legacy of theatre created by local queer people. “We’re working to create a great company and a model where we can financially
support the development of modern LGBTQ+ artists and other stories as well,” he explains. “The show isn’t going to be mine forever, and I want to
pave the way for others to be able to tell their queer stories too.”

Nathaniel J Hall (https://www.instagram.com/nathanieljhall/) is a award-winning theatre-maker and Artistic Director of Dibby Theatre
(https://www.dibbytheatre.org/). Tickets for ‘Toxic’, which will be on stage at Manchester HOME (https://homemcr.org/production/toxic/) from 18th
October to 28th October, are now on sale.

POSTED UNDER FEATURES (HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/CATEGORY/FEATURES) INTERVIEWS (HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/CATEGORY/FEATURES/INTERVIEWS)

TAGGED GAY THEATRE (HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/TAG/GAY-THEATRE) HIV (HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/TAG/HIV) HOMOPHOBIA

(HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/TAG/HOMOPHOBIA) MANCHESTER (HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/TAG/MANCHESTER) RUSSELL T DAVIES

(HTTPS://VADAMAGAZINE.COM/TAG/RUSSELL-T-DAVIES)

 Share on facebook (https://www.facebook.com/sharer/sharer.php?u=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-interview)

 Tweet on twitter (https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?

 (whatsapp://send?text=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”
text=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-

 (https://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-
https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-interview)
j-hall-toxic-interview)

 (https://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https%3A%2F%2Fvadamagazine.com%2Ffeatures%2Fnathaniel-j-hall-toxic-
interview&media=&description=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”)

interview&title=Nathaniel%20J%20Hall:%20“Sometimes%20survival%20means%20knowing%20when%20to%20leave”)
 About Hadley Stewart
Hadley Stewart is Features Editor at Vada Magazine.

View all posts by Hadley Stewart → (https://vadamagazine.com/author/hadley-stewart)

 Councillor Carl Cashman: Liverpool’s Lib Dem secret weapon and Out at Work: Cohlan Coote, Director & Head of Finance
LGBTQ+ ally (https://vadamagazine.com/features/carl-cashman-liberal- (https://vadamagazine.com/features/out-at-work-cohlan-coote-director-
democrats-interview) head-of-finance) 

YOU MAY LIKE THESE POSTS

(https://vadamagazine.com/features/out-at-work-cohlan-coote-director-head-of-finance)

Out at Work: Cohlan Coote, Director & Head of Finance (https://vadamagazine.com/features/out-at-work-cohlan-coote-director-head-of-

finance)

(https://vadamagazine.com/features/nathaniel-j-hall-toxic-interview)

Nathaniel J Hall: “Sometimes survival means knowing when to leave” (https://vadamagazine.com/features/nathaniel-j-hall-toxic-

interview)

(https://vadamagazine.com/features/carl-cashman-liberal-democrats-interview)

Councillor Carl Cashman: Liverpool’s Lib Dem secret weapon and LGBTQ+ ally (https://vadamagazine.com/features/carl-cashman-
liberal-democrats-interview)

(https://vadamagazine.com/features/vaneet-mehta-bisexual-awareness-interview)

Vaneet Mehta on why bisexual people are still fighting for a seat at the table (https://vadamagazine.com/features/vaneet-mehta-
bisexual-awareness-interview)

(https://vadamagazine.com/features/brad-johnson-saving-lives-at-sea)

Brad Johnson: saving lives at sea (https://vadamagazine.com/features/brad-johnson-saving-lives-at-sea)

TRAVEL   (https://vadamagazine.com/category/lifestyle/travel) 
(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-hotel)

Unveiling the heart of Manchester: A stay at Kimpton Clocktower Hotel

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-
hotel)
 22 September, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-hotel)  Drew Wilby
(https://vadamagazine.com/author/drew-wilby)

Drew Wilby checks out the Kimpton Clocktower Hotel in Manchester as part of Booking.com’s Travel Proud initiative.

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/hotel-rendez-vous-paris-review)

Hôtel Rendez-Vous: the bijou Parisian hotel you need to know about (https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/hotel-
rendez-vous-paris-review)
 13 April, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/hotel-rendez-vous-paris-review)  Hadley Stewart (https://vadamagazine.com/author/hadley-stewart)
Hadley Stewart reviews one of the cutest hotels in the French capital.

FOOD   (https://vadamagazine.com/category/lifestyle/food) 

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-hotel)

Unveiling the heart of Manchester: A stay at Kimpton Clocktower Hotel

(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-
hotel)
 22 September, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/unveiling-the-heart-of-manchester-a-stay-at-kimpton-clocktower-hotel)  Drew Wilby
(https://vadamagazine.com/author/drew-wilby)

Drew Wilby checks out the Kimpton Clocktower Hotel in Manchester as part of Booking.com’s Travel Proud initiative.
(https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/restaurant-review-chino-latino-london)

Restaurant review: Chino Latino, London (https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/restaurant-review-chino-

latino-london)
 28 August, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/lifestyle/food/restaurant-review-chino-latino-london)  Tim Firmager (https://vadamagazine.com/author/tim-
firmager)

Chino Latino, the pan-asian fusion cuisine restaurant with venues in Leeds and Nottingham has its London space in the Park Plaza hotel on London’s
riverbank. We at Vada pop in on a Thursday evening in August to find out the vibe.

MUSIC   (https://vadamagazine.com/category/entertainment/music) 

(https://vadamagazine.com/entertainment/music/music-7-of-the-best-songs-w-c-27-march-2023)
Music: 7 of the Best Songs – w/c 27 March 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/entertainment/music/music-7-
of-the-best-songs-w-c-27-march-2023)
 27 March, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/entertainment/music/music-7-of-the-best-songs-w-c-27-march-2023)  John Preston
(https://vadamagazine.com/author/john-preston)

John Preston returns with his first playlist for the British summer with some surprising and exciting tunes.

(https://vadamagazine.com/entertainment/music/music-7-of-the-best-songs-w-c-6-february-2023)

Music: 7 of the Best Songs – w/c 6 February 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/entertainment/music/music-7-

of-the-best-songs-w-c-6-february-2023)
 6 February, 2023 (https://vadamagazine.com/entertainment/music/music-7-of-the-best-songs-w-c-6-february-2023)  John Preston
(https://vadamagazine.com/author/john-preston)

John Preston rounds up the seven best songs of the moment!

STAFF

Contributor Directory (https://vadamagazine.com/contributor-directory)

Vacancies (https://vadamagazine.com/vacancies)

ABOUT

Meet the Team (https://vadamagazine.com/meet-the-team)

Readership (https://vadamagazine.com/readership)

INFORMATION

Privacy Policy (https://vadamagazine.com/privacy-policy)

Terms & Conditions (https://vadamagazine.com/terms-and-conditions)

Copyright © 2023 Vada Magazine. All rights reserved.