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Celeste Headlee | 272 pages | 19 Sep 2018 | Harper Wave | 9780062669018 | English | none
We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter a book by Celeste Headlee
For example:. Whether you're struggling to communicate with your kid's teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most-
-Headlee offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter. Backorder temporarily out of stock. Human beings are
incapable of multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or
hold a conversation with your child while texting your spouse?
Think again. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all
have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge someone else. Don't just put down your phone, put it
away. New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation. Product Details Price.
Earn money by sharing your favorite books through our Affiliate program. Become an affiliate. Celeste Headlee sheds a much-needed light on the
lost and essential art of conversation. In a time when conversations are often minimized to a few words in a text message and lack of meaningful
communication and dialogue abounds, Headlee argues that improving how we engage with one another can be beneficial at work, at home and
within our communities.
Headlee will outline the strategies that have made her a better conversationalist—and offer simple tools that can help us all have conversations that
matter. Headlee is a talented, honest storyteller who understands the true power of conversation and its ability to both bridge gaps or deepen
wounds. Khadija Fredericks is the Head of School at Saint Andrew's Episcopal School and has over 25 years of experience as a teacher and
administrator in independent schools.
Celeste Headlee: How to have conversations that matter | Faith and Leadership
When in a conversation, let go of the burden of trying to convince someone of something. Listen to someone to hear their perspective rather than
only waiting to hear what they say just so you can refute it. Topic Areas: Conversation Difficult Situations. Coaching for Leaders Podcast This
Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations.
Activate Your Free Membership Today. Access our entire library of Coaching for Leaders episodes from , searchable by topic. Highly
recommend!!! She made a positive impression. I became curious about her book. The book did not disappoint. Within the pages I found many
good and practical pointers to improve conversation for both speaking and listening. I came away from the book with many quotes and ideas to
apply to my daily life. Rather, I now have a clearer idea on what to keep in mind, where I can improve, and which steps to take over time.
This is a book to return to periodically. There is a lot of good stuff to take in. They are: be curious, check your bias, show respect, stay the course,
and end well. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Journalist and radio host Celeste Headlee, in her well-organized and nicely
researched work of non-fiction, "We Need to Talk," suggests that too many of us do not listen attentively or communicate effectively. In an age of
instant messaging, surfing the Web, Facebook, and email, how often do we have more than a cursory chat with our relatives, friends, neighbors,
and colleagues? Although superficial exchanges are the stuff of everyday life, there are instances when hearing what someone else has Journalist
and radio host Celeste Headlee, in her well-organized and nicely researched work of non-fiction, "We Need to Talk," suggests that too many of us
do not listen attentively or communicate effectively.
Although superficial exchanges are the stuff of everyday life, there are instances when hearing what someone else has to say and conveying what
you think and feel can be significant. The words you speak and how you express yourself matter when, for example, you meet with your employer
about an important work-related issue, discuss a health problem with your medical practitioner, or try to comfort someone who is bereaved. In her
introduction, the author relates the tragic story of a plane that crashed, partly because a first officer was too timid to convince his captain that they
should delay takeoff because of dangerous icing conditions. Seventy-eight people perished. Furthermore, Headlee believes that "our world has
become so fractured by politics and distracted by technology that having a meaningful conversation can become a challenge.
Civility, respect, and tact may go out the window when people get on their soapboxes. In "We Need to Talk," the author offers excellent strategies
for improving the quality of our verbal interactions. She touches on such techniques as avoiding distractions; empathizing; acknowledging that we all
have biases; disagreeing without becoming disagreeable; getting to the point rather than going off on long-winded tangents; staying in the moment;
postponing a conversation gracefully when you are exhausted or out of sorts; admitting that you are wrong and that you don't know all the
answers; and listening with an open mind.
This book, based on a well-received TED talk, is breezy, intimate, honest the author admits her mistakes and tells us what she learned from them ,
and includes relevant and lively anecdotes that nicely illustrate Headlee's points. Alas, nothing will bring back the lost art of letter-writing--and what
a shame that is--but perhaps this well-written and entertaining book will help restore civil dialogue which, these days, appears to be on the brink of
extinction. Let's put away our electronic devices and, as Headlee advises, "go talk to someone. Better yet, go listen to someone. People will
surprise you. One of those books that you may already heard of it's content multiple times before but you still need to read it to refresh your mind
and to give a bit more effort to understand and think about what the author is saying to fully grasp the meaning behind it all and it's implications.
I really enjoyed reading about this and it has made me think about many of the conversations I had, the ones I try to avoid, the ones I listen to half-
heartedly, the ones where I can't wait for the person to shut up One of those books that you may already heard of it's content multiple times before
but you still need to read it to refresh your mind and to give a bit more effort to understand and think about what the author is saying to fully grasp
the meaning behind it all and it's implications. I really enjoyed reading about this and it has made me think about many of the conversations I had,
the ones I try to avoid, the ones I listen to half-heartedly, the ones where I can't wait for the person to shut up and leave me alone and the ones
where I have hoped I have seen the person's face expression before talking and vise versa.
This book shows you that even if you don't think of yourself as a narcissist, it's still something that's in you that will come up every now and then
especially in conversations. It shows how much we enjoy the bubble we create and the opinions that we wrap ourselves in without wanting to have
a look outside and how that makes us prone to continuously claim we are right and everyone else is wrong without giving them a chance or the
benefit of the doubt.
I am without a doubt guilty of that as well in most cases. This book doesn't only teach us about where we can go wrong in conversations, but the
importance to listen to ourselves as well and knowing when to have a conversation and when not to. When it's important to put yourself first and
have a break or how to decline someones conversation in a polite way instead of listening half-heartedly and having the other person get annoyed.
The importance of actively listening to someone instead of thinking of a quick reply immediately after they finish their sentence. The author isn't one
of those people that blames everything on technology and social media. She acknowledges its impact on us not being able to actively listen and
have better conversations and the overall repercussions of that such as empathy and compassion but she also acknowledges it's importance in ours
lives nowadays and I guess it's one of those things that we need to work around it instead of eliminating it because it's not something a lot of people
-myself included- will be into. There's so much to unpack from this book and I really hope that my subconscious retains most of the information.
Nov 11, Brittney rated it it was amazing Shelves: book-club , Dec 07, Aliya Janjua rated it it was amazing.
Must read for how to communicate. Don't be shifter, be a supporter. May 30, Krista McFerren rated it liked it. First off - the dedication: "I
wanted to be a better person so I could be a better mom. Along with some less familiar to me, Celeste's book has the usual conversation 'rules'
that most of us know - but few practice! The novel: If not available to converse First off - the dedication: "I wanted to be a better person so I
could be a better mom.
The novel: If not available to converse - either physically or mentally - graciously excuse yourself and reschedule. Everyone knows something you
don't. Steer clear of repetition. Seriously, steer clear of repetition. Trying to remember details to convey is a waste of time and doesn't contribute
positively to the conversation. People LOVE to talk about themselves, evidenced exhibiting physical manifestations of pleasure in the brain.
Observe the 'metadata' my word of the conversation - body language, the Why, etc - to help stay engaged. I must admit, the reading brought out
some defensiveness on my part. I would appreciate a two-way conversation about some of the tools presented, and at times felt like 'why even
talk'! But hopefully it will be ultimately beneficial to have these weaknesses illuminated. My friends and family will be the beneficiaries! Aug 20, Jay
Dev Pandey rated it it was amazing Shelves: communication-and-social-skill.
I found this book really good and I am applying it in my day to day life. May 31, LeAnn rated it really liked it. Very good. I learned some things I
need to improve on! Jul 21, Bruce Ciotta rated it liked it. Lots of helpful info on how to have meaningful conversations. Now all I have to do is
implement. Jan 05, Tamara rated it really liked it. Helpful in this post-Trump era. So put away your smartphone for just a moment and go talk to
someone. They will delight you, enlighten you and sometimes anger you. But if you can get past the superficial chit-chat most of us mistake as
conversation, people will never bore you. However, the application here is turned outward instead of inward. I had to swallow my pride a time or
two when she describes the key of being a good conversationalist as being a good listener. I consider myself a good listener I think I will take a tip
from this highly successful journalist and broadcaster and keep my mouth shut a little more often, and ask the right questions a little more often, too.
Hopefully, I'll also be able to say like she does, "I'm so sorry, but I really just don't have the mental capacity to listen to you right now. I would love
to be more attentive to what you are saying, so let's have this conversation in 5 minutes when I'm not bathing the cat. I think her message is an
important one because so many people in our society are moving away from empathy, moving toward an "if you voted this way, I have nothing to
say to or learn from you" mentality. She writes, "Listening to someone doesn't mean agreeing with them. The purpose of listening is to understand,
not endorse. Often we decide very quickly whether or not we will agree with someone.
We listen for certain words that might be clues to their politics, or faith, and we use them to categorize people into groups. Into one group, we
gather all of the people who think like we do, and into the other group, go all of those who think differently. The problem is, these kinds of
groupings are not very accurate. It's something I need to work on, and after reading this book, I feel excited to get to it. Apr 16, Jill rated it really
liked it Shelves: I initially thought the title "We Need to Talk" was a bit dramatic, but Headlee is passionate and convincing about the merits of
meaningful conversation and the risks of our deteriorating ability to listen and communicate to ourselves and society; there were many times while
reading this book that I found myself nodding along enthusiastically. Headlee frames these benefits and risks at the personal AND global scale,
showing the stakes, especially in these divisive times, of being unable or unwil I initially thought the title "We Need to Talk" was a bit dramatic, but
Headlee is passionate and convincing about the merits of meaningful conversation and the risks of our deteriorating ability to listen and
communicate to ourselves and society; there were many times while reading this book that I found myself nodding along enthusiastically.
Headlee frames these benefits and risks at the personal AND global scale, showing the stakes, especially in these divisive times, of being unable or
unwilling to communicate with those--an uncle or a congressperson--who might hold wildly different viewpoints. This is a fast read, and it doesn't
introduce anything mind blowing though it does have lots of great quotes! As it happens, all of that is very hard to do. I'm a committed meditation
practitioner and mindful speech is pretty much the most challenging frontier. It's difficult for the average human to listen with presence while actively
trying not to pre-meditate a response, all while actively avoiding shifting the conversation to a more preferred subject After reading this book I am
more aware of my own "conversational narcissism" and notice it more in others, too. I agree with Headlee: it would be valuable if we all practiced
listening and speaking mindfully.
We should learn this skill at home and in school, and it should be practiced and reinforced with intention. I'm not sure if reading this book will
change my behaviors, but noticing is the first step to changing a habit, and I am happy to be reminded that I don't, in fact, want to be a
conversational narcissist! Headlee has a clear and crisp voice, and she uses herself as an example for conversation pitfalls in a way that's
humanizing and relatable, which is definitely a good thing because she can get a little prescriptive at times "don't do this This book covers a lot of
ground without a ton of depth, highlighting bad habits and offering some advice loving-kindness meditation and all kinds of other tips , but it's is a
worthwhile read if only to highlight the opportunity we all have to slow down and bring greater care to how we talk to each other.
Mar 27, Alisa Wilhelm added it Shelves: non-fiction , , language. The points are: 1. Don't multitask - be fully in or fully out of the conversation.
Don't pontificate. Use open ended questions. If you don't know, say that you don't know. Don't equate your experience with theirs. Try not to
repeat yourself. Stay out of the weeds. Be brief. There are a few other introductory chapters as well. Why the book is worth reading even after
you watch the TED Talk: Headlee goes into a lot about empathy.
That is totally missing from the talk, but it seems that the solution to nearly all of our "conversational narcissism" and inability to talk to people about
touchy issues is because we lack empathy. Headlee gives numerous examples of how meditation has helped her do both of those things, and the
results of when she didn't. People don't hop on Facebook to be sold stuff. In fact, people much prefer to buy and not be sold. So how do you get
into the However, things can get quite difficult as time rolls on. Listen to today's show to learn the conversations you need to have to set your new
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This converstaion In fact, many problems can be solved when two people can have a thoughtful, mature, and healthy conversation. Support our
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or everyday matters.
A good conversation is an interaction between two or more people, where questions are either explicitly asked or implied. For many of Deangelo
is a man on a mission to deliver truth to his generation. Stuart is an award winning entrepreneur, a critically acclaimed author of two books, an
expert panelist on numerous I'm always looking for connections between conversations as an indicator of what the world needs or how people are
evolving.
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Register For Free. No val Please fix the errors above. In We Need to Talk , she outlines the strategies that have made her a better
conversationalist--and offers simple tools that can improve anyone's communication. For example:.
Whether you're struggling to communicate with your kid's teacher at school, an employee at work, or the people you love the most--Headlee
offers smart strategies that can help us all have conversations that matter. Backorder temporarily out of stock. Human beings are incapable of
multitasking, and this is especially true of tasks that involve language. Think you can type up a few emails while on a business call, or hold a
conversation with your child while texting your spouse? Think again. The belief that your intelligence protects you from erroneous assumptions can
end up making you more vulnerable to them. We all have blind spots that affect the way we view others. Check your bias before you judge
someone else. Don't just put down your phone, put it away.
New research suggests that the mere presence of a cell phone can negatively impact the quality of a conversation. Product Details Price. Earn
money by sharing your favorite books through our Affiliate program.