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Bindy Sombatsaphay

COMM 1010

Allison Vernon

Spring 2023

Communication Skills Journal

[Introduction]

Have you ever had a disagreement or argument with someone and was left

wondering what you could’ve done to avoid it or made it better? Or had a conversation

with someone that didn’t seem completely involved or attentive? If so, these are just two

examples of how knowledge and skills in communication can play a big role in your

interactions and conversations with others. Communication is the way we exchange

information in our world through verbal and non-verbal messages. It affects your

relationships with others and the way you perceive yourself. In this journal, I will be

highlighting five key aspects of communication and applying them to my own personal

life.
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[Communication Competence]

After self-reflecting and reading the chapter, I believe I have been able to better

point out my strengths and weaknesses as a communicator. My strengths as a

communicator have improved over time thanks to practice with my peers such as

friends, classmates, and coworkers. Specific examples of my strengths include using

context while conversating with a group or individual. For example, I would speak

differently to friends while we’re hanging out compared to speaking to my supervisor at

work. Another communication strength of mine is learning how to adapt how I speak to

an individual that best works for them. When I’m explaining things to my mom, I would

have to slow my communication down and use less difficult words for her to understand

better.

My weaknesses of communication would include speaking to strangers and

public speaking. I was a quiet, shy kid growing up and I always found it difficult to speak

to others. I do believe, however, that I have been gradually improving this aspect of my

communication abilities by actively participating in class and group activities. I believe if

I volunteer to go first to share an idea or comment then the more repetition will allow me

to be more comfortable when speaking to strangers or a group.

[Perception & Self]

What I believe most impacts my perception of others is their personality. I believe

someone’s personality speaks to so much of who they are, and I use that often to make

my perception of them. For example, if I see a student in class consistently participating

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in group discussions and offering to share first, I’d perceive them as outgoing and

confident. One concept I would like to improve when perceiving others is the horn effect.

According to the text, the horn effect “occurs when initial negative perceptions lead us to

view later interactions as negative.” (Hargie, 2011). Sometimes when I have a negative

first interaction with a person, I tend to believe that the only interactions I’ll have with

them will be negative.

What I believe most impacts my perception of self is my self-esteem. The text

defines self-esteem as “the judgments and evaluations we make about our self-concept”

(Communication in the Real World: An Introduction to Communication Studies, 2013). I

like to think I have an overall positive self-esteem because I look at and celebrate my

positive traits. One concept I would like to work on is the social comparison theory. I

sometimes compare myself to others when it comes to things like academics and guitar

playing. I don’t do this often, but I can acknowledge it when I do.

[Verbal & Nonverbal Messages]

There are many ways to adapt verbal and non-verbal messages when

communicating with others. Communication may differ between individuals due to

factors such as language, culture, and physical ability. I believe to be a successful

communicator you should be able to adapt your form of message delivery to the

receiver that would most effectively reach them. An example of verbal messaging

adapting would be not using slang that the receiver might not understand. Slang is

defined as “new or adapted words that are specific to a group, context, and/or time

period” ("Communication in the Real World," 2016, p. 131). Instead of using slang, the
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messenger should communicate using commonly used and well-known words and

terms. Non-verbal communication comes in many forms such as gestures. In the United

States, pointing your middle finger at a person is considered offense and should not be

used towards anyone. By understanding what the culture and norms is like somewhere

you should be mindful of the non-verbal messages you use.

Factors such as gender, race, and religion can play a big role in ethics in

communication. A personal example from my life is the way I pronounce my friend’s

name. His name is Jesus, and it is pronounced as hay-soos, however, I like to

pronounce it like Jesus from the bible. To him and I, we don’t believe it to be ethically

immoral. However, my girlfriend’s family who are of the Mormon religion find it to be a

little disrespectful.

[Listening Skills]

After reading and studying chapter five of the textbook, I do believe I am an

effective listener. The reasons I believe I am an effective listener is my use of back-

channel cues, paraphrasing, and my ability to acknowledge any potential barriers of

listening. The definition of back-channel cues according to the text is “the verbal and

nonverbal signals we send while someone is talking” (Communication in the Real

World, 2016, p. 233). I use back-channel cues such as eye contact and head nods

when being spoken to in all my conversations with others. An example of this is when I

am at work and my supervisor, or a coworker is talking to me. I use these back-channel

cues to signal to them that I am listening and being attentive.

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Listening and empathy has played a largely positive role in my relationships with

others. I believe I am an effective listener already, but also a very empathetic person.

Aspects of empathetic listening include being emotionally involved as well as making no

judgements towards that person. I grew up a very kind, quiet kid and spent most of my

time listening to others rather than speaking. By being more of a listener my entire life, I

can pick up on when to use empathetic listening. When people come to me to talk about

more sensitive subjects like their emotions, I like to cast away my judgements and

empathize with them the best I can. A personal example was when my roommate had

gotten into a big argument with his dad. He had been working with his dad in their family

business but had a disagreement which led to an argument. Afterwards, my roommate

came to me and wanted to talk to me about what had happened. I was emotionally

involved in the conversation and let him get everything off his chest.

[Interpersonal Communication]

For this reflection, the theory I will be applying is the social penetration theory.

According to the text, the social penetration theory “states that as we get to know

someone, we engage in a reciprocal process of self-disclosure that changes in breadth

and depth and affects how a relationship develops” ("Communication in the Real

World," 2016, p. 314). The relationship type I will be reflecting on is a romantic

relationship with my girlfriend. This theory has helped me gain a better understanding of

our relationship in knowing that it took time, conversations, and experiences together for

us to know what we know about each other now. My girlfriend and I have been together

for two years and one thing I know about her now that I didn’t before is that she has a
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specific laugh when she’s in awkward of embarrassing situations. One way this theory

can improve the relationship is that the longer we’re together, the more we’ll learn about

each other and can continue to be the best partners for each other.

In our relationship I don’t believe we have much conflict. However, when there is,

the conflict management style we use the most would be collaborating or compromising.

A conflict we have where changing the conflict style may be beneficial is something

simple like choosing where to eat. I think we try so much to find a win/win situation that

we end up spending more time than we should just to find somewhere to eat. I think

instead of using a collaborating style we could use the accommodating style. The

accommodating style would allow us to make decisions quicker because of how low

stakes the situation is. Learning about conflict plays a big role in interpersonal-

communication competence because poor conflict management skills can lead to

negative relationships with others.

[Conclusion]

Writing this journal has proven to be a very interesting experience for myself

because I didn’t know how much actually goes into the act of communication. I used to

think communication is something we just do naturally without much second thought.

This unit has showed me the many different large and small details/aspects of

communication. After applying the information I learnt in this unit to my own life, I would

like to think I am a good communicator. Some of my strengths as a communicator

include my listening, conflict, and non-verbal communication skills.

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I believe that in life we are always constantly learning. We use our past

experiences to make better decisions and to improve in the skills that we are lacking. I

personally am always trying to improve myself in all the aspects of my life. In the context

of communication skills, I believe I still need to work on my verbal communication.

Speaking clear and concisely to get my message off in a way that can be understood

more easily is what I would like to improve on. I can work on this by actively being

aware that I need to slow down with my speech to make sure everything comes out

smoothly.
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Reference Page

Anonymous. (2016). Communication in the Real World: An Introduction

to Communication Studies. University of

Minnesota Libraries Publishing.