IDOLS

BY GOODNESS ADEGBOLA

Episode One: Who is this AHDU?

The first time he saw her was the evening he arrived Lagos for the annual youth convention.
The journey from Ibadan had been unbelievably lengthened by a dense traffic that left him
hissing and whining. By the time he got to the camp, the preacher was already about half way
through the sermon and this irked Olujimi Demetrius. How many times in the past had he
received the accurate word for him from the opening charge? How much had he missed?
He hurried to the auditorium with the bag he packed for the weekend, as he approached the
large arch of light the hall was, he could see the spill over crowd seated under canopies as they
watched the sermon from screens. He hissed and exhaled. The crowd increased yearly and he
wondered if the whole camp would be enough to carry the programme in the coming years. He
was annoyed by the fact that he would have to seat outside. What he wanted was a firsthand
experience. He hated the fact that the people outside laughed at a joke the pastor cracked 2
seconds after those in the auditorium laughed. If he wanted to watch the programme from a
screen, he would have stayed back in Ibadan, lay on his bed and stream the live video on
YouTube.
It was while he busied his mind with how to sneak into the main auditorium and stand at the
back till the evening session was over, that he felt a hand on his shoulder and the warmth from
those neatly trimmed fingers spread over his body.
She was an usher about three inches shorter than him, with a pink scarf of a matching colour to
her pearl drop earrings deftly cinched, a black blouse tucked into a black flare skirt that had
white embroidery on its fringe and brilliant, liquid eyes. He turned to her and for the next five
seconds of silence, Demetrius wasn’t sure of where he was. Yes, she was attractive but how his
pulse picked had to be beyond her looks. Come on, fine girls come a dime a dozen these days.
How could he feel so drawn to a person he was just seeing? He never believed in love at first
sight, he thought it was just ridiculous to see someone and just claim to love them. But there he
was.
“This way, sir” Her deep yet feminine voice called him back to the present. She led the way. Did
I just taste honey in her voice? How can one even taste voice? How can honey even enter a
person’s voice? Deme, get sense o! Deme, je k’ori e pe o! (let your head be correct o)
He followed her, deliberately limiting his eyes to her white red bottoms. He liked the luster of her
shoes that made it tether on the brink of silver and that too was weird. He never noticed things
like that on a regular day. Deme, get sense! Na God you find come here no be woman! But who
says I can’t see God and woman? I can kill two birds with one stone in the Holy Ghost. He
smiled, amused by the conversation on in his own head. It could even be God showing me this
honey dripping ush- Deme! Get sense! In all thy gettings, get sense!
The lady smiled as she pointed Demetrius to his seat. He tried to control his smile so he wasn’t
grinning like an idiot as he mumbled ‘thank you’. He settled and shifted, very aware of the
usher’s presence and gaze. What is this, ntori olorun? He didn’t look at her but when she turned
around, he knew and it was then he let out his breath which he had been holding without
knowing. Now, he could hear the preacher again.
Over the next two days, Demetrius put in efforts to always look good, he brushed his eyebrows
and beards when he dressed and he made sure to wipe dust off his shoes as soon as he
noticed it, for he knew neither the hour nor the moment he would run into Aunty honey dripping
usher. Of course he didn’t admit to himself that he was putting in efforts for her sake at least not
until the whole convention was over and everything came back to him as one huge demeaning
joke. He didn’t make the mistake of telling his friends, Collins, Dabere and Dare of what
happened at the convention, else they would have ‘yabbed’ him till he was sore.
But it was a funny joke. Did he think he had found love? Recalling how he carefully searched
out a vast crowd to find a lady whose name he didn’t know made him shake his head. Deme,
you really need sense.
The convention was awesome, if the fact that Aunty honey dripping usher disappeared without
leaving a trail was left aside. The worship sessions, sermons, bible studies, floor group
discussions and alone with God moments were indeed replenishing. Demetrius came expectant
and God was true to his word, his righteous expectations were not cut short. One thing God
kept hammering for him during the course of the meeting was that he was set to do a new thing
in his life, one that shall be obvious to him and everyone around. From Isaiah 43: 18-21, he had
misguidedly thought Aunty honey dripping usher was the new thing. Well, it would seem he was
wrong.
Demetrius got back to Ibadan and his life continued normally, his job working him to the bone,
Friday Sunday school preparatory classes, Wednesday evangelism outreaches and every usual
thing except that, Aunty honey dripping usher (AHDU) lingered on his mind. He had been
attracted to different ladies at different times, but each time he didn’t feed the emotion, it died a
death as natural as its birth. But he hadn’t even seen AHDU the second time, he didn’t know her
name, yet she was so strongly etched on his mind, he could still remember her red bottoms, the
floral pattern on her scarf, her snowy sclera. It would fade with time.
But it didn’t. When after two months, AHDU remained on his mind, he became worried and
decided to present the whole matter to God.
“God it would seem there is more to aunty honey dripping usher o, she’s been on my mind and I
feel something undeniable for her. Is this you? Lord guide me to your will. You have promised to
lead me with your eyes, so father please help me to be sensitive to your leading. If this is not
from you, I’m willing to let it go by your grace. And Lord if it is-” He smiled. “Baba, if it is you, let
me know. Bring her my way again. I thank you because as a child of the kingdom of light, I shall
not walk in darkness.”
The scripture from Isaiah dropped in his Spirit again and with it came a great peace and
knowing that she was the one.
…Behold I do a new thing now it shall spring forth, shall you not know it?…
After jumping and singing to himself, he sat on the bed, panting. “God, na your hand e dey o..
how I go see aunty honey drops again?”
Days mounted and so did weeks, yet Demetrius saw no trace of AHDU, he got pedantic at
some point, but he reminded himself to trust in the Lord. He said he would do the new thing, it
was the Lord that would do it. So he chose to rest in the Lord and start preparing himself for a
relationship. He started reading books, he binged on all eight parts of Michael Todd’s
‘Relationship Goals’ sermon series. When the church organized a singles weekend retreat, he
attended with body and heart. If the Lord was ready to send a rain, he would busy himself
pending the time the rain came with digging trenches.
And then, three months after the convention, she walked right into his territory, her steps
ordered by God, pretty much like Eve’s into the Eden.
That Sunday he sat at the end of his pew closest to the aisle and listened as his church pastor
preached a message on ‘The Working of the Holy Spirit in a Believer’. Then, he heard quick
taps on the tiled church ground, distracted by the footfalls he turned. The first thing that caught
his attention was the pair of white red bottoms. His breath caught. He glanced up, slowly,
hopefully. He saw the ankle-length red gown crisscrossed with navy blue and finally he saw the
mildly made-up face. It was AHDU!
“Gloorraaay!” He screamed, giggling as though the pastor had dropped a major rhema,
meanwhile he only asked the church to open a scripture. Heads turned in Demetrius direction,
including AHDU’s, he was embarrassed.
When first timers were being welcomed and asked to introduce themselves, He was glad to
hear that AHDU would be joining the church. He stood up from his seat, and went all the way to
the last pew column to welcome her with a handshake. He whispered her name to himself,
testing it on his tongue.
“Medad Abigail”

Episode two: Tasting Honey

“Good afternoon”
“Afternoon, brother” Her Lagosian instincts made her move her bag to her left hand since he
was on her right and she held it close. She’d been at a vigil once and while she was ‘in the
Spirit’, virtue had gone out of her. She suspected the lady with a forest green blouse and quick,
jerky dance steps, who sat next to her. She should have known by the way the lady’s eyes
darted that she was a sneaky person. She had to hitch a ride to the junction and trek most of the
distance back home as sleepy and hungry as she was. After that sore sting, she would be more
than ten times shy, even if it was with this church guy with a receding hairline. A receding
hairline, what could that mean?
Abigail believed that every physical trait of a person could be linked to their character traits in
one way or the other. Brief people were grounded in something. She had met short people who
were grounded in the Lord, people who were grounded in evil, people who were grounded in
knowledge. People with long hair thought they were Venus or something unbelievably beautiful
and it didn’t matter if the hair wasn’t even theirs. A person with a pointed nose had to be a
Nightingale. And in her books, people with receding hairlines were going to balk from situations
just like their hairline, the regression of a man’s hairline indicated cowardice.
But it seemed she was wrong this time. No sooner had she stepped out of the Pastor’s office
than this young man with a crisply starched lilac long sleeve shirt and a pair of black brogues
double crossed her. The Pastor had barely even gone out of sight.
He chuckled. “My name is Olujimi Demetrius, let’s drop the brother” If there was anything he
dreaded it was a zone. His experience with Tolani thought him avoid zones and be intentional.
“Oh, my name is-”
“Medad Abigail”
“Do you master every first timer’s name?”
“Actually no, I can’t even remember the other guy’s name” Demetrius said honestly.
“So it’s just the ladies, yeah?” She nodded suspiciously.
Demetrius laughed and raised his Bible. “I’m a child of God o. I don’t remember the other lady’s
name either”
Abigail narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. She stopped walking and squarely faced
Demetrius, who rejoiced inwardly to have her full attention. “So how come you know my full
name? Am I being stalked?”
Demetrius smiled. “No, I’ve met you before”
Abigail rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right? one would think at least for the fact that we are within the
church premises, a child of God, would not use the oldest, tackiest line in the book”
“Which book are we talking about here? And I’m not lying. You were an usher at the Youth
convention, you led me to my seat on the first day of the convention. You wore a black shirt,
black skirt, pink earrings, pink scarf and this pair of shoes” He pointed down.
Abigail gaped. “Now, I’m convinced I have a stalker. What else do you know?”
“Nothing else. I was hoping to see you thereafter but it’s a shame, you just disappeared. Then
you show up right in my church. Isn’t God just awesome?”
“Hang on,” Abigail chuckled. “Was this why you shouted like that during the service?”
Demetrius felt embarrassed. She laughed. “I wish you were fairer in complexion, you’d be all red
by now. And why were you so eager to meet me again? You don’t even know me.”
“Exactly.”
She splayed her hands. “What exactly are you affirming, sir?”
“I want to get to know you better Abigail, you know, I want to get closer to you”
She turned her face, a skeptical frown on it. “Okaayy,” She drawled. “You are not quite the man
of protocols, are you? This is our first conversation and you’re already asking to get closer.”
“You don’t need to linger longer than necessary if you know what you want and the time is right.”
He said with dramatic depth.
As she shook her head and smiled, she knew that Demetrius was a lot of things and definitely, a
coward was nowhere on the list.
“For starters, can I walk you to the junction?” Demetrius offered.
“Like you’re not already doing that?”
Demetrius smiled. “Just trying to go by protocols, you know. So tell me about yourself”
“There you are jumping rungs again, that’s a first date question.”
“And who said this isn’t our first date?”
“You cant be serious. Anyway, I’m Abigail Medad, like you already know. I hail from Borno state
but I’ve lived all my life in Lagos. I’m the third of four children, the only girl. I’m an architect and I
love porridge more than I do human beings”
Demetrius laughed. “Does that include me?”
“Are you a human being? What else is there to tell? I’m in Ibadan cos the company I work with
decided to toss me to this ancient overrated town”
“Wow, mean much. I think Ibadan gets less credit than it deserves. This is the biggest city in
West Africa, please put some respect on this city’s name.”
“Oh, please” She waved him off. “I can count on one hand the amount of roofs I’ve seen that are
not sheets of dusty, rusted Aluminium.”
Demetrius chewed on his lower lip and decided to change the subject. “Do you have any other
interests asides Architecture? Like dance, fashion designing, catering or something?”
“You’ve not told me anything about yourself.”
“That’s cos there isn’t much to tell actually”
“Shady people say that a lot. Remember Ranti of Rumour Has It?”
Demetrius blinked. “Wait, what? I don’t watch Nigerian stuff”
“You’re one of those proud non-patriotic people, yeah?”
“Well, I’m an only child, I’m from Osun. Proudly an ex UI student. I’m a Medical Laboratory
scientist”
“So you’re one of those people who deal with freshly voided shit” Abigail laughed.
“That’s not a nice way to put it” Demetrius tried to be serious but he ended up laughing with her.
“Here we are at the junction.” Abigail announced. “See you around”
Abigail got home to meet the Collins at the table, treating themselves to a sumptuous meal of
Amala and efo riro. From her five years of knowing the family of five, she knew that to be the
Sunday afternoon usual. Her belly growled.
“Eka san ma, eka san sir” She genuflected as she greeted the couple.
“Welcome my dear” Peju replied. “How was the church you went to? Are you going to be
scouting next Sunday or you’ve found a resting place?”
“I think Ive found what I need.”
“Oh, great. You’re very lucky o, it took Paige and I about two months to find the right church
when we moved into this community. That was about eight Sundays of jumping from one church
to the other, but once we got to RTC, we knew we had found home.” Mr. Collins sipped from his
glass of pineapple juice when he was done talking.
Abigail smiled. She loved this family. She remembered how she met Peju about six years back
when she was still in the university. By then, Peju was only engaged to David and since then,
they had been her spiritual leaders. They got married and then John and Aanu came at once as
a set of twins, after two years, Sharon came.
As Abigail ate her lunch, talk went round the table, but she was removed from it, her mind was
elsewhere. Who was this Demetrius guy? He even had the nerve to ask for her number, of
course she didn’t give him. Not because she didn’t want to but she told herself that a babe had
to play the babe. His guts fascinated her.
Snap out of it Abigail. That a guy came to church and had a Bible in hand doesn’t make him a
saint or the suitable suitor. Who even said he’s a suitor? Don’t feed your mind with assumptions
o. But that guy smelled really nice men and his groomed nails. Gosh! Abigail! Jesus, come and
save your pikin o, it would seem like I’m falling for this guy.
“Abbie, what do you think of the present condition of the nation? Just the other day a colleague
of mine was telling me that it would only take a couple of years before almost all the doctors in
the nation would have taken off in search of greener pastures. Can I blame them? Even I would
not mind going abroad to practice. If you look at it, we have very little facilities around here and
that’s really bad for a person who seeks to broaden her knowledge, even worse for those who
are interested in research”
“Ye- yeah, that’s very true”
“But then again, I cant just take off and head wherever I want, for one, I must know if the Lord
would have me go there, and then secondly, I’m a family woman” Peju shrugged and bit a thick
roll of ponmo with much effort.
“True,”
“Is everything okay? You seem distracted” David directed his words at Abigail.
“Who? me? I’m fine actually. Just some thoughts distracting me.”
Neither of them pushed. There was a pause.
“Apparently, there’s this guy who has shown interest in me, in church”
“Just in one service? Whos this guy?”
“Pardon me, I’m getting ahead of myself. He probably just made an overture at being a friend”
“If a guy is interested in you, you will know” Peju stated.
Abigail shrugged before David spoke. “Which responsible Christian man makes passes at the
first meeting?”
“Apparently, he knew me from the convention” She went on to tell them all he said as she
cleared the table.
She did the dishes while Peju cleared up the kitchen.
“I just think he seemed really sincere” Abigial said.
“Trust me, if a player chooses to play sincere, he would come across as just that. My point is,
you can’t bank on just your emotions, they could be deceitful and subject to manipulation.
Another thing I want you to carefully do is to assume nothing. For all we know he might just be a
really outgoing guy who’s trying to be friendly so don’t get your emotions clogged up just yet.
And most importantly, pray about him. Let God tell you what’s in for you or not, then let this
knowledge guide you”
“Yeah, thank you. Come to think of it, you never told me of how uncle David toasted you” She
said as she rinsed the dishes, then she wiped them with a napkin and arranged them on the
dish rack.
Peju shut her eyes, took a step back and had a good laugh. “David? My husband didn’t have
any game o, he didn’t woo me sef”
“Heeyyyyy!” David hollered from the dining. “No backbiting o”
“He was just a regular UCHCF guy to me until he upped and proposed.”
“Just like that?” Abigail quizzed.
“Well, he’s right there. You could ask him.”
“Uncle David abeg tell me it’s not true”
David joined them in the kitchen. “See, we are very straight forward in the kingdom. When
Jesus was proposing to us did he come with flowers and poem? No.”
“You just tripped yourself, uncle. Jesus toasted us. In my father’s house there are many
mansions… I go to prepare a place for you… Come unto me and I will give you rest… Can you
feel those lines? He waited for me, patiently, lovingly, calling out repeatedly. What better way to
woo a bride? You spoke of flowers, Jesus gave hi-”
“Enough oh!” David stopped Abigail.
“1-0” Peju stuck out her tongue at David and gave Abigail a hi-five.
“I didn’t like Dave then, there was this other guy, Doje that I was already falling for. The guy was
a charmer. I have to give him that.”
“Yeah, a charmer with a family in Agbor but that was the part Paige didn’t know then.” David
supplied, flossing his teeth.
“By family you mean father and mother?” Abigail asked as she leaned against the cold blue
wall.
Peju chuckled. “Father and mother ke? He meant wife and children”
“Children? Chai! Men!” Abigail mouthed.
“That’s besides the point, you people should not start with men today”
“Anyways, I presented Doje and Dave before God and I knew who God wanted wasn’t who I
wanted.” She shrugged. “I struggled initially but I learned to trust God over my feelings. By the
time I said yes to him I still didn’t feel anything for him and I told him.”
“So at what point did you fall in love with him?” Abigail needed to know.
Peju turned her head this way and that. “Was there a particular point? I started enjoying his
company and companionable silence and then gradually something started opening up in me to
him.”
“I’m sorry about how this might sound,” She apologized upfront, straitening against the wall.
“Were you sexually attracted to him?”
“Initially no but I wasn’t averse to him either. Then as we got closer I became drawn to all of him.
It was akin to curiosity, but it was something deeper, I wanted to know more and more of this
guy. I wanted to explore his mind, soul and body”
David coughed. “Now, let me turn the question on you, Abbie. Are you attracted to this
Demetrius guy?”
“Well, it’s still too early to say but I’m fascinated by him and we totally skipped the awkward
phase. For a first conversation we had a good start off. I think that counts for something”
“I see,” David observed. “But then, if there’s something to pick from our story, it’s the fact that
feelings are too fickle to be put in the driver’s seat of our lives.”
“We are not undermining the importance of attraction in a relationship but what God has to say
has to come first. If he’s the one leading, he would plant love in your hearts. He’s love himself.
But we have to trust him, totally.”
Abigail smiled. She would pray about Demetrius and be ready to hear and obey whatever God
would say. While she was in Lagos, many a brother approached her but each time she wanted
to pray about them, especially those ones she had a thing for, she felt a reluctance that
stemmed from the knowing in the depth of her Spirit. Maybe this eagerness to present
Demetrius before God was a good thing.
She nodded. “Thank you very much Aunty Peju and Uncle. I’m really grateful”
“She’s Paige not Peju” David said, teasing his wife with his eyes.
“Olapeju l’oruko mi! ” (Olapeju is my name) She stated firmly. “I’m proud to be Yoruba, omo
o’odua”
“Nope, omo Olorun” (Child of God) David smiled.
She hissed. “Oya come and be going. What are you doing in the kitchen sef?”
“Ehn eh, shebi you will still come and beg me to assist you in the kitchen. Kosi problem.” (No
problem) He said as he exited the kitchen but not before he grabbed a piece of fried chicken
from a plate atop the counter. Peju screamed.
“I love you too, Paige” He replied in his patronizing, annoying tone.
Abigail smiled as she prepared the sudsy water she would use to mop the floor. Just then she
heard Sharon’s cry from the backyard where the children where playing.
“Mummy come and tell Aanu to give me my toy!”
Peju sighed. “Aanu, are you a baby? What are you doing with your sister’s toy?”
“Mummy I didn’t take it o, she’s lying” Aanu responded.
Peju left the kitchen to resolve the squabble between her children and it was then Abbie’s phone
beeped in her pocket.
It was an Instagram DM from @deme_jimi. She rolled her eyes and pushed the phone back into
her pocket. She had many DMs she’d ignored. This one too could join the heap. She continued
mopping and then realization hit her. Deme Jimi. Olujimi Demetrius. She stopped and brought
out her phone.
-If Mohammed’s number won’t come to the mountain, then mountain might as well, fish him out
on IG. Ah, that’s far more lame than it sounded in my head-
Abigail dropped her phone and smiled. This Demetrius guy is something.

Episode three: A lump of gristle in honey

He alighted from the cab and strolled down the street to his flat, swinging his hands and
humming a happy rhythm. He was tired from work but he was eager to get home, have a quick
shower and change of clothe before he hurried off to the Collin’s to pick his fiancé so they could
go out together. This evening, they’d go to see a movie and on Thursday they would have their
usual meeting where they discussed, studied the Word or listened to a sermon and prayed.
“Oga Deme, ekabo o (welcome)” Iya Alade, the akara seller whose shed was on Demetrius
street greeted him.
“Ah, ekurole ma (good evening ma)” He bowed. “S’aje nwa? (Hope sales are going on well?)”
“A dupe o (We thank God)”
He continued walking, reminiscing on how far he had come with his sweetheart, Abigail. After
successfully cyber stalking her, he established an online rapport with her over the following
weeks while he maintained his church friendship with her. Soon enough, the chat moved from
Instagram to What’s App and then he could call her whenever he wanted.
He was patient through the friendship phase although he was careful to drop hints that made
her know his intentions was not just to be another friend. On several occasions when they
returned from Sunday service or midweek service, they’d stop by at Mama Celine’s shop to buy
soft drinks and her delicious puff-puff. There was just something about Mama Celine’s puff-puff
that kept one returning and Abigail was the most dependent addict.
As they got closer, Demetrius convictions grew stronger. He shared his intentions with Dare,
who was an older friend and his spiritual leader. He got a word of confirmation. Finally, he
decided that the time was right to propose.
That Sunday he asked her if he could see her later in the week.
“Yeah, sure. After Wednesday Bible study” She replied, flipping her straight weave.
“No now, I mean alone.”
She had a small frown on her face. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
“Ehn, something like that. Where would you like to go?”
She smiled. “Let’s see how well you know me, guess.”
“I don’t know, just tell me” Demetrius had never been queasy or uneasy talking to Abigail, but
this time, he was.
“Mama Celine’s shop na”
“Let’s be serious Abigail.”
“I’m not joking na.. What’s wrong with Mama Celine’s shop? You know how much I love her
puff-puff. Don’t worry, we’d sit on the bench in front of her shop and gist.”
“How do you want me to tell our children that I pro-” Demetrius stopped himself but it was a little
too late. Abigail paused before she burst into laughter.
“You want to propose? Wait, I’ve not even consented yet, what am I even saying? You’ve not
proposed yet and you’re already speaking of our children
Fear gripped Demetrius’ heart. Was she going to throw him the same words Tolani threw at
him? I really love you Demetrius but you should know by now that we are only good for each
other as friends.
When the silence between them was becoming awkward, Abigail broke it. “See you on Tuesday
in front of Mama Celine’s shop”
Demetrius could not stay still over the next two days, especially because Abigail was not saying
anything about what he said.
-Can you tell me what your response would be?- He texted her when he could stow his anxiety
no longer.
-No-
She would say no? His heart cut.
-Why?-
-Because you’ve not even proposed yet, so what am I responding to?-
He heaved a long sigh.
Demetrius entered his one room apartment and quickly went to the kitchen. He was already
gulping down a bottle of pulpy 5 alive before he remembered his resolution to cut back on his
soft drinks intake. He dropped the empty bottle and started feeling bad. Deme, when would you
ever go through with a plan?
He hissed and left the kitchen, taking off his cuff links. When he entered the room, he flung his
gray shirt on the bed, kicked off his shoes and hopped around the room trying to pull off his
fitted trousers.
He cinched a towel around his waist and went into the bathroom. As the shower sent down
streamlets of water, he slathered up his body and his mind travelled back to the day he
proposed. He remembered his careful, thoughtful words.
“For the future I want to build, I want this architect to join in. I want to build with you the plan you
have, I want us to build the plan God has for us. I love you very much Abigail, and I want to
marry you. Will you marry me?”
Abigail had laughed and asked him why he was sweating. He ignored the question and quickly
said, “I will give you time to prayerfully consider my proposal”
She huffed. “And what makes you think I would wait for your proposal before I pray about my
marital life?”
“So you have your answer?”
She let the silence stretch taut as she munched on puff-puff and seeped her La Casera. She
laughed hard after staring at Demetrius for some seconds. “Man, you should see your face right
now”
Demetrius sighed. “Abigail now, I’m not joking. This is a serious moment for me” Did she think
he was just playing?
“Okay, fine.” She raised her hands. “I think you take life too seriously and it would be fun telling
our children you proposed in front of Mama Celine’s shop”
A second passed, then another before realization hit Demetrius.
“So, that’s a yes?”
“I guess” Abigail smiled, rolling her eyes.
“You cant be guessing Abigail. Say Yes, please.”
“Yes, please.”
The memory still warmed his heart.
He finished up in the bathroom and quickly wore a pair of jeans, a blue T-shirt and Vans shoes.
He picked his watch and checked the time. 6:44.
He called Abigail to tell her he was about to leave his house, she said she’d be ready before he
got to Bodija where she lived with the Collins. There was something about her tone that seemed
hard, an edge to it that Demetrius found hard to place.
Abigail brushed her hair. Slowly turning the tresses this way and that, stroking the manes in a
repeated absentminded fashion. It was about time she came out clear before Demetrius. She
was advised to tell him all about her past from the start, but she thought it was wiser to wait until
she was sure; sure of his love, sure he was interested in her and not just the idea of her. Sure
he knew God enough to see her the way he did.
Now, she’d had sound three months of courtship asides the two months of being friends, to test
the waters and she felt Demetrius loved her enough to accept her past. She believed that he
could love her warts and all. Now, she could afford to be transparent.
Abigail felt different prods of pain that melded into one throbbing wave of numbness in her
chest. She wished she could run back in time, she wished Dayo never happened. Perhaps if
Dayo didn’t happen there wont be Chris, then Emeka, or Harrison and the several others whose
names and faces inundated her mind. Emma, Tobi, Muyiwa, Muhammed, Pascal.. Dayo was not
to blame, she had made a choice. Oh, Medad Abigail if only you weren’t so stupid.
Abigail, snap out of it. Regret won’t get you anywhere. Lord Jesus, I know you’ve forgiven me, I
know you have no record of my past sins. I know you have blotted out the handwriting of
ordinances against me and have fulfilled the righteous requirement of the law in me, by your
death on the cross. Help me Jesus. Today, I have to relay my past. Help me to relay my past
without reliving it and the guilt of it.
She sighed and picked her purse.
Peju sat up on her matrimonial bed, worried. She had just returned from Aanu and John’s
school to pick them up and receive their term results. She had gone hoping that things would be
different but once she got into the classroom and found Aanu at a corner staring ahead with
puffy eyes and John beaming and eager to hand in his report book, she knew the old trend had
repeated itself: John topping the class and Aanu taking the rear. The irony of life and balance,
was what their class teacher called it. How could she even spit a statement so cruel, so spiteful?
As Peju glanced through Aanu’s result that had all grades save one in red, she couldnt take her
eyes off the only grade in blue. Agricultural Science: 98%. Teachers remark: Excellent. While for
all other subject the teachers remark was, Poor. John had a 79 in Agric and nothing less than 86
in every other subject. Peju didn’t know if it was Aanu’s jarring performance that troubled her or
her strong passion for Agriculture. How could a five year old be so resolute? Peju had her own
dreams for the girl, she hated to admit it but it was true. She wanted her daughter to be a doctor,
perhaps a nurse, even a physiologist. Something along the medical line. Peju’s parents were
both medical doctors, of the 5 children they had, 3 ended up as doctors and the other two as a
nurse and physiotherapist. Were on earth is Agric coming from ntori olorun?
Seeing her daughter fill Agriculturist into Future Ambition blanks was like a hard smack on her
face. Several times she had tried to dissuade her subtly. She told her all the beautiful stories
attached to the medical practice, she took her to the hospital, She made her wear a stethoscope
and scrubs when they played dress up in school. But Aanus displeasure was never hidden. The
other day she cried on the way to the clinic. “Mum, why do you keep forcing me to go to the
hospital? I hate that place. I hate the smell. I hate seeing sick people, blood, crying people. It
just makes me sad.”
Peju could hardly believe her ears. How could Aanu be sad seeing sick people? How could she
not feel the need to help? She remembered how much she pleaded with her own father to allow
him take her to the clinic. She remembered how she came alive watching nurses and doctors,
hoping to be in their shoes someday. How could Aanu not feel that?
But when David got Aanu seeds as a gift, Peju was stunned to see how excited she was. No,
she wasnt stunned, she was appalled. Why would anyone delight in having soil cake their
fingers in the name of planting? Aanu woke up every morning to water the vegetables she
planted in the backyard. When the Ewedu bloomed, she brought the news to her mum jumping.
For the past month, all the Ewedu they had been eating on Sundays was from Aanu’s little
vegetation.
Peju knew God wanted her to allow Aanu be what he wants her to be, but it was really hard.
She stood up from the bed and decided to push the thoughts aside. She walked out of her room
to the passage and there she saw Abigail, filling the hallway with the queer fragrance of her
perfume.
“There she is, our lovestruck sister”
“I’m afraid.” Abigail blurted. “What if Demetrius doesn’t see the Abigail he loves in me after he
knows about my past?”
“You are not the lady any more. That lady is dead. And Demetrius would be foolish to treat you
based on the sins of a dead man. My dear, can you remember the song we composed with
Psalm 32?”
Abigail nodded, a weak smile on her face. She remembered how she and Peju would sing the
song and jump in excitement in the early days of her walk with God.
“Sing it to me”
She started singing, leaning against the wall.
“No! that’s not how to sing that song” She grabbed Abigail’s hands and started shaking as she
sang along with her.
“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to
whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, and in whose spirit is no deceit.”
By the time they were singing the fifth time, Abigail was running across the hallway back and
forth, reminding herself of who she was in Christ and the fact that it was independent of who she
used to be.
Then, the doorbell rang and it occurred to Abigail that the question was not about if or not God
had accepted her, the question was, would Demetrius love her the same if he knew her for who
she really was? Just when her shoulders were slumping, Peju lifted her chin firmly.
“What matters most is God’s acceptance and that, my darling is what you have”
Abigail crashed into Peju’s arms, muttering her gratitude.
As Peju patted Abigail’s back she wondered at the tumoil in the heart of the woman offering a
shoulder to lean on for someone else. Then she remembered Jesus. When he was sorely
grieving over the unjust murder of his cousin and forerunner, he went apart to be alone and then
in that well deserved personal time, a multitude came to him and from a stand point of love and
compassion, he pushed past his own needs and ministered to them.
Demetrius side hugged her, grinning in his usual infectious way.
“The movie would soon start, let’s get going”
Abigail looked up at him and she chewed on her lower lip. He drew back, giving her his full
attention.
“What’s the matter, Abigail?”
“I don’t want to see a movie, I want to talk instead”
“Oh, sure.” He gestured to the sofa. “let’s sit and talk”
“I need to let you in on my past and honestly it’s ugly” Abigail blurted.
Demetrius heart started a wild beat. Whatever was to come had to be big.
Abigail started her narration of how her closest friend when she was in 100 level had raped her
when she visited him. After Dayo violated her what plunged her deeper into depression was the
way he avoided her like her plague. Her virginity which her Mum taught her to keep in order to
be valuable in the sight of her husband had been yanked out of her grip. She was worthless.
The only times she felt something close to worth was when she made a man burn with passion.
That power made her feel worthy of something and so she gave her body often.
She hopped from one bed to the next club to the Lounge conveniences.
This continued until she thought she was pregnant when she was in 300 level. She had been
religious with her pills, how could that have happened? She was petrified. Her father would feed
her to a pack of wolves, her mum would have her head for dinner, the church community at
home would ostracize her.
Before she could abort, she had to confirm the pregnancy in a clinic. Luck smiled on her and the
results turned out negative. Peju was the doctor that attended to her. Peju ceased the
opportunity to minister the gospel to her and at that moment Abigail emotions were all over the
place, she was under the conviction of the Holy Spirit and there she gave her life to Christ.
Peju followed her up diligently and by God’s grace, she did not slip back into her old ways.
Demetrius did not say a word. His silence encouraged her narration but when she was done,
the silence became awkward. She lifted her eyes slowly, not knowing what she would see in his
eyes.
There was an intense, unfathomable look in his eyes when hers’ met them, he leaned back his
head and shut his eyes. He stayed that way for a long time. Abigail waited for him to sigh, hiss,
say something. But he did not as much as move a muscle. It was a lot to take in, so she allowed
him absorb it. Tears streamed down her face.
“I’m sorry Demetrius. I really am. You don’t deserve this”
When Demetrius opened his eyes, all the emotions were gone, hidden. His eyes held nothing
but a thin film of sheen.
He swallowed and said, “We can still make it in time to see the movie”
What? God, his pushing reality away. Is he also going to treat me like Dayo did? Abigail
wondered. He just needs time to internalize it all. And if he wants a little distraction, it’s the least
I can do for him.
“Yeah, sure”
All the way to the cinema, Demetrius was wordless and he looked through the window the
whole time. At the cinema, he sat ramrod straight beside Abigail and she was certain that even
though his gaze was fixed on the screen, he wasn’t watching the movie. If he was watching any
movie, it certainly wasn’t the one showing, it was the one playing in his mind. The pictures his
mind put to the narrative he heard from her lips. That was the movie on repeat in the cinema of
his mind.

Episode four: Gristle or Honey

She was in the corner of a street, wearing a loose black dress that allowed her red underwear
peek from behind it. Her lips were fuller, curved in an inviting way and covered with rouge
lipstick. She balanced on her stilettos, striking a very provocative pose. Of course she wasn’t
alone, she was in the company of a bevy like her all vying for attention. She leaned back, one
hand languidly on her hip and with the other she tousled her hair. Everything blurred out and
then she was seen in a club seething with all the energy of a club. Again, she was in a corner
but this time, there were three men on her like pia matter on brain. The men were definitely
having the moment of their lives, groping, necking, getting down and dirty and she was there,
the object they were consuming with their passion, laughing cheerfully.
She moved her body to the rhythm of the heavy music much to the delight of the men. How
could she give all of them equal attention? How could six hands find a place to work on one
body? Suddenly, the lights went out, so did the music and what rose in its stead was a general
‘Oh!’ of protest from the crowd.
The men abandoned her one after the other when they were done. Leaving her with clothes
ripped up, skin bruised and eyes teary. She picked the shreds of her black dress, covered
herself in shame and walked into the ladies. She emerged on the other side of the door in a
different scene, looking like a completely different person. Her hair was now up in a bun, not
cascading down to her waist, she had gloss on her lips not the red hot stain, she wore a
three-quarter sleeved chiffon blouse and skirt that reached down to her ankles. Her shoes were
flat and most shocking of all was the fat Bible under her armpit. She walked towards him with a
saintly smile on her face.
“Hey there, I am sister Abigail and you are?”
He whipped his head around his shoulder, distracted by the loud laughter he heard. In a
distance behind him, he could see Kunle, Idris and Anthony laughing off their heads, staggering,
doubling over and holding one another for support. He was the joke so funny.
He turned back to her. She still had her smile intact. She opened up her Bible and from Psalm 1
picked out a wedding ring. She held it out.
“Take it, for you are my God given husband”
He blinked. She burst into a cackle that grated and lingered in his ears a few seconds after he
jolted out of his dream.
He jumped and looked around the blackness that enveloped him. Was he in another dream?
Where was he? He quickly felt his pocket for his phone. The light from his phone revealed his
sparsely furnished living room. It was then his heart rate reduced and his memory quickened.
He had fallen asleep on the couch.
He remembered Abigail and felt faint. His dream definitely came from multitude of business. He
had been trying to picture Abigail the way she was before and those pictures came back in his
dream, this time a lot more cheesy and dramatic.
He felt nauseous thinking about his dream. He hurried to the toilet and threw up all the popcorn
and soda he had engorged himself with in the cinema into the toilet bowl.
He sloshed his mouth and rinsed his face at the sink and with the light from his rechargeable
lamp he studied himself at the mirror. Look at yourself, Deme. Aren’t you a fool?
He remembered his roommates during his NYSC days, Idris, Kunle and Anthony. How many
times had they scoffed at him concerning his faith and celibacy? Night after night, they would
return to the room each man eager to recount his escapade and Demetrius would walk in on
them, returning from NCCF family house or the rural clinic. They would ask him why he was
putting himself under unnecessary punishment, he usually left there questions unanswered, he
would pick his earphones and shut them out.
They had the same story to tell. A man had nothing to worry about. Even if premarital sex is sin,
God understands, he’s forgiving, and then Idris always said at the end of the day the bad boys
would get the true good girls, the virgins and all that would be left for zealots like Demetrius
would be ladies who would come to the church pretending after they had whored round the
universe.
The man was right. He’d been a fool. But even now, Demetrius found it hard to think of the
Abigail he knew as the whore by the street he saw in his dream. Was she then the charlatan
with a bun and flowing skirt? He still couldn’t bring himself to think of Abigail that way either. She
was not a chameleon, she didn’t come to church desperate with the one aim of latching onto the
next available brother. What if she did? What if he didn’t think of her that way because she didn’t
want him to? What if she’d played her cards well? What if she had this figured out from the
start?
But if she was a pretender, would she confess to him? She could have done that to take him in.
The more Demetrius thought about it, the more confused he became. But then, he remembered
that God spoke to him. Was that also a lie? Was his mind whipping up games? No, he was sure
he heard God. He could still remember the Isaiah scripture God gave him. While he was bathing
that evening and reminiscing about his proposal to Abigail, the first part of the scripture even
dropped in his spirit again. So, what was happening?
Demetrius clenched his teeth till his jaws started aching. He walked into his room, angry.
God is this what I deserve?
James 1: 17
Demetrius picked his phone and opened the scripture impressed on his spirit.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights,
with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.”
Good? Perfect? Gift? He laughed. God you sure have a sense of humour. She has been passed
from one hand to the other, she said so herself and that’s perfect?
The absolutely perfect one became imperfection that Abigail might be the perfection of God in
Christ.
Demetrius paced the room, angry. As he did, the Biblical account of Peter refuting the sheet of
unclean animals that God sent to him played in his mind.
Self righteousness would rob you of my blessing. You can’t be more righteous than the Lord, the
righteous one, the one who declares righteous and is the righteousness of the righteous.
Whoever I pronounce just through faith in Jesus is just. Do not call unclean what I have called
clean.
Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old, Deme. If you keep
considering the former things, you won’t see the new thing I am set to do and you will not
witness its springing forth.
Demetrius turned his mind’s focus from all that God was saying to his previous thoughts. His
dream came back and its memory was a fetid stench in his nostrils. He ran back into the toilet,
this time he vomited bile. He sat on the floor, staring into the dark.
Memories trickled into his mind. Memories of the times he had to turn from temptations, times
he was mocked. In his 300L, there was Rume, his course mate who had asked him to assist her
with Immunochemistry few days before the exam. Apparently, there was more to the chemistry
and there’s only so much a man’s ‘immune system’ can take. He had to literally run from the
corner he found himself in with a swiftly stripping Rume. By the next day, his gist had filled the
class like antiseptic fills the clinic. The ladies sneered at him, the guys made crude jokes. He
suffered all of that to end up with a woman who put her back down for every Tom, Harry and
Dick? He let out a self-depreciating laugh at the innuendo of it. Tom, Harry and Dick. He
laughed again.
“Hey there, I am sister Abigail and you are?” He remembered her words from his dream and he
continued laughing, he could hear her cackle from the dream mingle with the sound of his own
laughter. He stopped, scared. Deme, are you losing your mind?
He rose up from the tiled floor of the bathroom and walked to his bed. It was a struggle before
he found a fitful sleep dotted with nightmares and terror.
This time he was walking down the aisle with Abigail as his bride. She was totally beautiful, he
was excited and so was everyone in the upscale hall. Then he saw the trio, Kunle, Idris and
Anthony in black suits styled unconventionally and swanky shoes, walking towards them with
smirks. When they stood before him and his bride, they totally ignored Abigail, they wouldn’t
even look her in the face.
“So, brother Deme, tell us about your bride” Idris said, giving Abigail a malicious once over.
Before Demetrius could say a word, Anthony intervened. “What more does he have to say? Just
look at her”
They all turned to Abigail, and Demetrius was shocked to see his bride transformed. She was
no longer in her wedding dress but the black gown she wore in his previous dream. Kunle
chuckled “Abby, Abby, so it’s you”
“You know her?” Anthony quizzed.
“Very well,” Kunle said, his tone heavy with suggestion. “I’m sure I even know her more than
virgin uncle Deme here”
He woke up to a beeping alarm and a splitting headache.
Abigail closed her laptop without shutting it down, she knew it was a bad habit but she couldn’t
care less. All she wanted to do now was get home, shower, have dinner and land face first on
her bed. But that was impossible, she would have to do some chores, assist in the kitchen and
also help Aanu and John with their home work. Plus, she had a design to finish up against a
presentation due the next morning.
She knew now that being a mother and career woman was no joke.
She shoved her laptop into her bag and cleared her desk. She stepped into the ladies to touch
up her makeup before she went down the stairs to the reception where she signed out.
As she walked out of the company building she remembered that she had to meet with
Demetrius today, she immediately felt relieved. She couldn’t wait to tell him all about her long
day at work and her short potbellied boss who won’t stop hitting on her. Then she remembered
the previous day and the balloon of her excitement was punctured.
Would Demetrius be in the best position to see her now? Did he still need time to process
things? Wouldn’t it be better if they skipped meeting this week? Wouldn’t that be pushing
realities under the carpet or deferring the evil day when they’d have to face it?
She decided to call him.
When the phone call was over, she sighed. Half relieved that they won’t be seeing tonight and
half worried. Was Demetrius so eager to cancel plans because he wanted to please her or
because he was also hoping to not see her before she called?
In the backseat of the jouncing cab where Demetrius sat sandwiched between a lanky Hausa
man and a Yoruba woman that passed a remark on everything she saw, he was torn between
many thoughts. He really wished he could find a way to escape meeting with Abigail. He usually
looked forward to every moment with her but well, the unusual had happened. Should he call
her to cancel plans? What would he say? He could say he had a stomach upset. That wasn’t
entirely untrue since his gut writhed from starvation. As his thoughts circled, his phone rang.
“Hello Abigail” It took effort to sound normal, effort that didn’t avail much.
“Hey Deme”
“How has been your day?”
“It’s been there jare.. I wanted to ask, are we still meeting today?”
“Don’t you want us to meet?” God please let her say yes.
“Well,” She let her voice peter out.
“It’s fine if you don’t want us to meet. I perfectly understand. No pressure”
“Thank you for understanding”
“Goodnight dear”
“Yeah, goodnight”
Demetrius dropped the phone and exhaled. That went well. He shifted forward uncomfortably,
the growing moisture in the Hausa man’s armpit was reaching him and that was just gross. His
phone started ringing again.
It was Dare.
“Ah, Dare good evening o. This one wey you remember me today like this” Demetrius enthused.
Dare laughed. “I no forget you before na. Guy, buy Iya Alade akara o, with bread too. You’d be
having a guest tonight”
Demetrius blinked. “I don’t get”
“Just do what I’ve said, you will get later”
“You know it’s invasion of privacy the way you barge on me every time, yeah?”
“Yen yen yen… Tell me you’re not happy I’m coming and I won’t come again”
“Eh… Let’s just help your life so you don’t feel bad, I will be expecting you”
Demetrius smiled when he dropped the call. Perfect distraction. At least tonight he won’t be a
rolling pin on the bed torn between consciousness and tormenting dreams.
When he got to his street he met Iya Alade fiercely whooping Alade’s bum for stealing some
money from her pouch. The moment was reminiscent of the days when Demetrius’ father had
beaten him to a pulp with his fluid streak of evil popularly called koboko, the young boy’s cry and
hurried promises to never do it again almost made him laugh. Who taught almost all children to
say these same words? He intercepted a furious Iya Alade and pleaded for the boy who had
Demetrius trousers bunched up in his fist from where he crouched behind him.
“Ola oga Deme lo je o, bi b’eko ma fe na ti e ta… Oponu iya (if not for oga Deme, I would have
beaten you blue-black. Dumb fool)”
She turned to Demetrius and attended to him. When he got home, he met Dare squatting near
the door, a duffel bag by his side. He burst into laughter.
“For how long have you been here?”
“Long enough to know how many cracks are on this pavement”
Demetrius hugged his friend. “Man, I’m glad to see you o”
“You finally admit. Well, I’m not here to see your face. I’m here to know this AHDU that has my
guy’s heart”
“So you came from Apata?” Demetrius changed the subject as he turned the key in the keyhole
and pushed the door open.
“Na men, I came from the lab”
“Oh, so you’re going there from here tomorrow?”
“Yep. I came prepared,” he tapped his bag. “And there’s a blanket in there. I’m not going to
freeze like the last time.”
“Smh. Real men don’t use blanket. Hard guy, hard guy, small cold you dey shiver”
“Hard guy not snow man abeg” Dare reached for the nylon of Akara and Demetrius withdrew it.
“Stop abeg. I’m starving”
“When are you ever not starving tele?” Demetrius let go of the nylon and Dare tore off a piece of
bread, sandwiched Akara in it and started munching.
“So how far your honey dripping usher now?”
“She has a name now,” Demetrius said glowering at him “Her name is Abigail.”
“Oh I see, so how is it going?”
“Great”
“Ehn ehn?”
“Yeah, she’s beautiful, she’s nice, I love her”
“You don’t even sound like it. Is everything okay?”
“How far your end na? Bros, you know you’re not getting younger”
Dare hissed. “I have my mum to tell me that. It will happen when the time is right by God’s clock.
What is wrong with you and Abigail?”
“Nothing actually. We are fine.”
“Yeah sure and I’m getting married next month”
Demetrius jumped. “You are?”
“Of course not, ah. This guy sef”
They bantered some more before Demetrius decided to confide in Dare. He told him briefly
about Abigail’s past and how it was affecting his current view of her.
Dare dropped his bread. “I’d go straight to the point, you know as well as I do that God doesn’t
even have a memory of all the things you’re allowing to becloud your mind. I know, it hurts, talk
to God about it, also talk with her. But most of all, you must trust God to see Abigail through his
eyes, only then would you be able to launch into the depths of treasures in her”
Depths of treasures? This guy hasn’t even met her. “How convenient is it for me to wipe my
memory of her past?”
“Have you chosen to forgive Abigail for the wrong choices she made?”
“It wasn’t against me she sinned” He looked away, his tummy twisting.
“If you were not concerned, you won’t be so troubled. You can’t continue denying what is on in
your mind’s recesses. You must choose to forgive her and let go of the hurt. And every time you
remember her past, remember also that she’s a new person, also choose your choice to let go
of the hurt over again.”
“It keeps coming to my mind”
“Pick your thoughts. Put thoughts of all God is saying about her over thoughts of who he saved
her from. When the Devil whispers lies to your mind about her, scream back the Biblical truths
about her. She’s the righteousness of God in Christ. She’s a brand new man. You know these
truths, keep on keeping them before you”
“It’s not fair that I kept myself and I get this, do you think it’s fair?”
Dare studied his friend for a while before he spoke. “I have a few questions and I want you to
give the most sincere answers”
“Shoot”
“Good, why did you maintain sexual purity?”
“To honour God and glorify him with my body which is his temple”
“You’re sure that’s the only reason?”
Demetrius shrugged. “Yeah”
“You didn’t keep yourself to deserve someone who’s kept?”
Demetrius fell silent, realizing his point.
“Next question. How were you able to stay chaste in spite of temptations?”
“By God’s grace.”
“You’re sure it’s not by your strength?”
“By strength I could not prevail.”
“Is your chastity the reason you’re accepted in the beloved?”
“No, my sonship is solely because of Jesus, his sacrifice and his life in me”
“Now, Abigail is on the same platform of righteousness in Christ as you, if you truly believe the
answers that came from your lips. I think I’m done here.” Dare stood up. Demetrius felt angry
again. How dare him take sides with Abigail? He didn’t even know her yet and all he cared
about was her, what about him? What about how her past made him feel? How would he feel
when later in the future they run into one of her many exes, one she’d gone all the way with?
Dare held Demetrius hands. “Let’s pray”
Demetrius started praying wanly and his whirring, wandering thoughts kept distract him till it
detoured him. He remembered Kunle’s smugness in his dream. He knew her better than he
would ever do. Choose your thoughts Deme. He didn’t, he just let his thoughts roll with the tide.
Demetrius' hands slipped limply out of Dare’s grip. Dare tapped him. “Dude, you’re sleeping.”
“I’ve had a long day, I need rest”
“We need to pray”
Demetrius nodded. Soon after he was knocking his head back in sleep.

Episode five: Honey from Carcass.

…Today, Yesterday feels really close…

…Today, the East seems to be just a stone throw away from the West…

Abigail lulled back in the cab front seat, she hissed as the driver pushed the gear against her lap
for the umpteenth time. Why do two people have to share the front seat for God’s sake? She
looked through the window past the young man with sharp features beside her. On the left the
driver was grinding the gear against her lap on the right this man was prodding her with his
jutting hip bone. In her heart, Demetrius silent treatment was the goad.
The driver turned the car so quickly Abigail fell against the man beside her.
“Ahn ahn, driver e de rora (Driver take it easy now)” Abigail groaned. All her years in Lagos had
gifted her the chance to easily pass for Yoruba lady before anyone.
“Na woman go teach me how to drif, ab’eri nkan ni? (just imagine)” The driver rasped, releasing
his breath of cheap liquor.
“If woman fit pay you to drive her and you sef go collect the money, I no see why she no fit teach
you how to drive if you no dey drive well” The skeletal man beside Abigail fired back, much to
Abigail’s surprise.
The driver glowered at the man and spat a curse in Yoruba, a verbal brawl followed, one Abigail
was removed from. As she watched Chicken republic, a pharmacy, boutiques, business
duplexes and bill boards careen by, she kept wondering for how long Demetrius would stay in
denial and continue acting like her past didn’t matter when they both knew it was a third person
between them. Every time she broached the topic he was always quick to dismiss it. Now she
knew it was no longer a matter of internalizing the fact, he had a whole month to do that. He
was only avoiding and wishing it away. What he didn’t know he was doing was that he was
putting miles between them with his ever growing silence, he was killing her inside with his
silence that screamed its accusation. He probably knew he was doing that, he was probably
doing it deliberately. She sighed.
She was returning from her office which was somewhere around Toll Gate and now the cab she
was in was towing Ring Road. She saw the vibrant lights of the clubs that lined the road and
something in her flapped its wings, asking to fly. In a matter of seconds, all the memories she
had in the clubs in Lagos, the nights she left school to ‘escape’ came back in a rush of nostalgia
and raw longing. She just wanted to be back in one of those rooms, to be roughly jostled and
manhandled by frenetic men who always found a way to dance behind her, to get hurried
pummels in the rest room or better yet, a one night stand in a hotel room. The clamouring of her
flesh joined with the force of memory was so intense she could hardly breathe, all she wanted to
do was ask the driver to pull by the curb and let her alight. She knew it would take her less than
ten minutes to cross lines she left behind years back and worse yet this time, there might be no
turning back.
That’s where you belong. None of the guys you met there ever made you feel like Demetrius is
making you feel, they never cared if you were a virgin or not, because you belong there. You
don’t belong with Demetrius.
“Once a bitch, always a bitch” Irene’s words came back. Irene was her friend when she was still
in the world and when she had gone to tell her she had received a new life and would have to
discontinue her association with her old ways and friends, Irene and Gbemi had laughed. They
had tried severally to change their ways and they had reached a point of resignation because
they had realized that a leopard’s spots would never wash off. They didn’t just choose being
whores, the path chose them. She could try if she wanted but they were certain she’d be back
sooner or later.
Their words had greatly troubled Abigail then, she shared with Peju who was doing her house
job in Lagos at that time. Peju was there to remind her of God’s word and reassure her. But now,
there was no Peju, there was no scripture in her mind, only words that pushed her down a field
of quagmire.
“…sooner or later”
It didn’t matter that she had not gone back all these years, the path chose her and she had no
choice.
Overwhelmed, Abigail could afford nothing more than a simple prayer. Lord, help me. Uphold
me with your right hand of victory.
She leaned back again and her breath slowed, cold sweat broke out from her skin. That was a
fierce temptation. She felt drained, but she was also grateful to God for coming through for her
and strengthening her enough to stay in the cab.
When she entered the house, she was surprised to meet a quiet living room with the lights
turned off. The kitchen was empty too. She checked her time it was just 9pm, the family never
retired so early. Could this have been because of an argument between David and Peju? The
other day she overheard them argue from the hallway when she returned from work. She
quickly entered her room, paying heed only to what was her business but not before she caught
a snippet of the altercation. She had heard David say something along the line of Peju being a
controller and that she was playing the lord over the destiny of the children. Is Peju really a
controller? Has she ever tried controlling me? No… I don’t know… wo, whatever jare.
She plunked down on the bed and immediately tugged off her stilettos with one hand and with
the other she took off her earrings and the rubber band that her hair was pulled back into. She
picked her shoes with two fingers and dropped them carefully on the shoe rack, yawning.
She still had a hard time believing what almost happened in the cab. It seemed so farfetched yet
so close it unnerved her. If she had walked into any of those clubs, she would walk out a broken
lady. Would she ever pardon herself enough to receive God’s forgiveness? Would she ever be
the same? How would she even deal with the guilt?
She sighed. Thank you Jesus for saving me. She was reminded yet again that all her six years
of remaining on the path of righteousness was not by her doing or strength, she had been kept
by the power of God, and it had all been the grace of God. The sustaining grace that taught her
to deny ungodliness and worldly lust and taught her to live soberly and righteously in this
present world, the grace she did nothing to deserve, the grace that has appeared freely to all. It
was God’s grace that kept her that night, like several other nights and days from falling. And she
knew for certain that if she would stay yielded to his Spirit at work in her, his grace was more
than sufficient to uphold her till the end and present her blameless before the Father.
“Thank you Jesus for your divine power that has given me all that pertains to life and godliness.
Thank you for your work in me that gives me the desire and the power to do what pleases you,
help me to always walk in cooperation with your Spirit within me, to always work out my
salvation with fear and trembling, trusting your grace all the way. God, your son is frustrating
me. His silence, the attitude he puts up these days, his subtle way of ignoring not just my past
but me, is driving me crazy. God, if you have accepted me, why is Deme treating me like this?
Like Rebecca said, if all is well, why am I like this? If my past is truly swallowed in the sea of
forgetfulness and cast as far as the east is from the west, why is all of Deme’s actions and
inaction bringing it to my face? Lord, right now, it’s hard for me to see me through your eyes,
sometimes I think I know what you think of me and then I look into Deme’s eyes and I’m
confused”
She sat on her bed waiting for the Lord to respond to the outpouring of her heart. Nothing came
and this unsettled her. Won’t God say anything? Is he just going to leave me on read?
I will never leave you nor forsake you
Abigail chuckled. But you’re leaving me on read.
Go to your old diary.
Abigail sat on the floor, flipping pages of her diary. As she read, she remembered every detail
and relived every moment: the funny, poignant and ridiculous. Why did she write as if she was
chatting on 2go? For God’s sake, Abby you were 21! What the heck!
June 14, 2012
Its bin 4eva since I wrote in this buk. Im sad abt dat, but am also apy. 2day I finished my bilivas
class and I got baptized! Yayyy! Aunti Peju told me it’s a significant symbol of wat happens at
conversion.
I was afraid when the priest held me in the water. Jesus! It was a deep riva o. the water was
reaching my waist. I tot the riva will carry me and the priest away. Hehehe.
She laughed. She remembered how the priest had held her and gently lowered her into the
water till the waters ran over her head. She had squeezed her eyes shut and in that moment
had received a revealed insight of what happened at the cross. As she was being lowered into
the water, she saw herself in her mind’s eye, being earthed in a coffin. Her body was rotten,
crawling with worms, all that was left of her face was a sinister viscerocranium trickling with
glinting blood, and her body was clad in filthy rags. There was a total black out. The memory of
the vivid picture of the wretch she was, was so disgusting she retched. She remembered the
rasp of the priest. “Buried with Christ,”
And then as he lifted her up, the lid of the coffin popped open, giving way for a fervently bright
light to nearly blind her. She saw herself rise from the coffin, an entirely new person, new skin,
new flesh, new brilliant white robe, a brand new smile and gusto.
“And raised to newness of life” The priest boomed as he lifted her out of the water. She was by
now dripping with more than water, she was dripping with life, and a surreal excitement.
God!!!! Jesus is so ril to me ryt now. Im crying. Ah, the Abigail I was is dead. She was useless,
she was sinful, she was dead in sin, she was rotten. But ive bin raised to newness of life. Ive
been raised with Christ! I want to shooouuuttt! Ive been given a new life, I didn’t even have to
pay all I had to do was receive this life by faith… Jesus!!! You have saved me. You have raised
me. You have shown me mercy. Thank you! help me to never go back to that state I was in. help
me to never go back to my vomit. I want to live all my life devoted to you, you have shown me
such a great love. Oh God. I don’t have the words. I don’t.
Abigail fingered the swollen circles of dried tears on the old brown page. She could still
remember the day she wrote those words like it was just yesterday she was sitting in the corner
of the room she shared with seven other people in Moremi hall.
She picked her phone and plugged up to Outburst music group’s song, New Creation. She
cranked up the volume of her phone till the song filled her head and she was in a performance
of the song, under bright lime lights before a mammoth crowd. With her eyes closed, tears
pouring and mouth singing, she was in cloud nine.
I am a new man in Christ Jesus
I am a new man this I know
I have his Spirit living within me
And the life I live is not my own.
I’m a new creation,
I’m a brand new man
Old things have passed away
I’m born again
More than a conqueror
That’s who I am
I’m a new creation
I’m a brand new man
Abigail was rudely dropped from cloud nine when Peju snatched her fake apple ear phones out
of her ear lobes and scowled at her.
“Do you think you stay in this house alone?”
“Was I shouting?” Abigail asked covering her face
“No o, you were whispering ni.”
“I’m so sorry” Abigail apologized.
Demetrius hurried down hallways of terrazzo to the lab, he was late. His phone started ringing, it
was his Mum calling. He swiped to the green after a brief hesitation.
“Ekaro ma(Good morning ma)”
“Nle o, oko mi (Well done, my dear)” She enthused over the phone.
“Hope you’re doing well this morning?”
“Ehn now, how are you o jare. Oga fun e o, a ti e gburo e, so da be? (We’ve not been hearing
from you, is it fair?)”
“Mummy, ema binu jare (don’t be angry) it’s work and stuff”
“Or’enu e bi Vwork yan stuff (See his mouth like work and stuff)” She made a nasal parody of
his statement. Demetrius laughed. “When are you coming home?”
“Soon, ma”
“Oti e wa ti di Jesu bayi, ojojumo I’m coming soon. Lati last year lo tin ba soon e yi bo o (you’ve
now become Jesus, always saying I’m coming soon. You’ve been saying this since last year)”
Demetrius laughed as he reached the locker room. “But Jesus is really coming soon Mummy,
are you ready for his coming?”
“Shut my friend. Who’s laughing with you”
He sniggered. “Mummy can we talk later? I’m at work now and if I don’t get off this call now, I
stand the chance to be queried”
His mum snorted. “Eebo po (You speak too much grammar) tell them to come and query me.
Before you chase me away like you are fond of doing, let me say what I called you to say”
“Haba mummy that’s unfair”
“The other day, you told me you had someone. When are we meeting our daughter?”
Why did his smile disappear? Why did his heart start a rapid beat?
“Some day soon”
“Soon yi sha ni nkan (there we go again) what’s her name sef?”
“Abigail”
“Such a pleasant name”
“Trust me she’s more pleasant than the name” Did he mean that or did he just say it cos it was
the kind of thing an ideal boyfriend would say?
“I see oh.”
“So I can go now?”
“One last question. Omo ibo ni? (where is she from?)”
A second passed. “Er… Borno, we will talk better later”
“If you cut the call! Bor ki lo pe? (what did you just say?)”
Demetrius rubbed her forehead. “Borno”
“Ko lo sun e de be? (what pushed you there?)”
“She’s lived all her life in Lagos”
“I don’t care where she’s lived her life my friend!”
Demetrius became angry. “Mum, we will talk later!”
“Don’t you dare try to blow me off. Iran Boko Haram lo fe fe. Ko ni shele! (you want to marry
Boko Haram people. It won’t happen!)”
“I will marry whoever I choose. Bye!” Demetrius ended the call and regretted it as soon as he
did. Why was he so vehement? Was it really cos he loved Abigail? He wasn’t so convinced.
These days he didn’t even know what to say he was in with Abigail sincerely. A situationship?
Maybe he was just sick and tired of his mum trying to run his life. Or he just used her as an
outlet for his pent up frustration. Yeah, that was it. These days, Demetrius found that he was
unusually inflammable and touchy. Just the other day his colleague asked if he was on his
period.
He dropped his phone in his bag, zipped it up and shoved his bag into the metal cubicle. He
locked it up and secured the key in his pocket. In his scrubs and sneakers, he entered the lab,
ready for the day’s work.
At break time, he met 15 missed calls on his phone. 8 from his Mum, 3 from his Dad and 4 from
his Aunt. He had a headache immediately. He saw a text notification from his Dad.
-What has come over you? Just who do you think you are? What did you say to your Mum to
get her this worked up? What is this I’m hearing about a strange girl? Don’t call me, don’t reply
me. You have a week to meet me in Osogbo.-
Demetrius phone slipped out of his grip.

Episode six: Caramel or Honey

“I will read the first Thessalonians scripture, you will read the one from Proverbs” Demetrius was
already flipping his brown leather Bible before he was done talking. Abigail closed his Bible. He
looked up.
“I’m sick and tired of this charade. Who are we even fooling?”
“What are you on about now?” He was getting irritated. Why did she have to nag all the time?
“We should not turn the Bible into a carpet under which we would sweep the things we need to
face. God’s word should give us light on how to deal with the darkest situation, not make us
pretend that all is fine when we know very well that it’s not”
Demetrius crossed his arms and sighed, rocking in his chair. Here we go again.
“What are you talking about?” He asked even though he already knew.
“At what point are we going to talk about the Abigail I was?”
“Why do we need to dwell in the past?”
“I’m not asking us to dwell there. All I’m asking is that you accept it”
“I have done that already. I told you to stop bringing this up for God’s sake. Why are you being
so difficult? What exactly do you want from me?”
“I want to know how it makes you feel, I want to know how you see me now, I want to know your
thoughts about all of it. Then let’s decide if it matters or not”
Trust me you don’t want to know. He pushed his initial answer back and said, “It’s gone. I don’t
see why we have to keep circling it all the time. It’s not as if talking about it would change
anything, would it?” His fingers were shaking now. Oh, shit! I really hate talking about this,
especially with Abigail. “Please, don’t ever make me talk about this again”
“The fact that you cannot hold a conversation about my past without trembling all over even
after month plus, makes me wonder if this truly is in the past”
Demetrius balled his fists and clenched his jaws, pressing back the volcano erupting in him.
When he opened his eyes, he said “Let’s continue the study” in the same dull tone he had said
“We can still make it in time for the movie” over a month back.
He intended to tell her about his call from home and his intentions to travel the following
weekend, but he was too pissed to broach the topic. It was either that or he didn’t want her to
know that things were a lot more precarious between them than it seemed.
Abigail stared at the man before her, flipping his Bible and wondered if he was the same person
she had fallen in love with, maybe it was the other way round. She wasn’t the lady he had fallen
in love with. She wasn’t the lady he could love. He couldn’t love a defiled lady. I am sanctified. I
am justified. I am not the Abigail in the corpse anymore, I am up with Christ and if any one can’t
see clearly, that’s not my fault.
Abigail felt suddenly fed up. She had had enough.
“Goodnight, Deme” She snatched up her bag and walked away.
He watched her go, slack jawed, and suddenly a felt a frisson of fear that she might be walking
away from his life.
“Hey, wait” He ran to catch up with her.
He held her hands and smiled. “Even if you’d leave me here, that’s no way to say goodbye to a
man you love”
Her heart melted. She didn’t know what to think. “I wonder if the man I love, truly loves me”
I wonder too.
“I love you Abigail. I just need some time to take it all in”
“You’ve had time”
“Be patient with me”
“I’m trying, but your attitude drains me, tota-”
“I’m sorry. I’d be over it soon. Things would fall in line, don’t worry” He drew her in for a hug and
for the five seconds she filled her lungs with the musty scent of him, she was certain all would
be fine. But the certitude only lasted those five seconds.
As he leaned his neck on her shoulder, his body responded quickly and he just wanted to take
her to his room and have her for the night. Stopping his thoughts, he disengaged from the hug
and waved her good night. When the adrenal rush of desire let up, his pulse returned to its
original state and so did the issues he had avoided.
Demetrius arrived Osogbo very late that Friday evening. As he walked his way to the family
house, memories tickled his heart.
He had ran along these dusty streets wearing nothing or a slacked pant and trundling
motorcycle tyres with a stick alongside his neighbours. He had walked this street in the same
company on his way to school, on his way to church, everywhere. All of them were now
scattered all over the globe. Last he heard Pamilerin had married and moved to Arab. How did
she end up with an Arabian? How was she faring in his home? He might never know. Kunle was
somewhere in Lagos and that was all he knew. He hadn’t heard from them in a long time.
Andrew, Badmus, Tayo, Ewa, Ayomide, Delani, Laide… Ruth… Oh, Ruth and her spitfire elder
sister, Rhoda.
Ruth, his childhood crush. He tittered in the dark. What would she look like now? Would she still
have those almond eyes that had a mystic feel? Would she still angle her head and look up
when she’s trying to recall something? This too, he might never know. She might be married,
maybe now in Lagos or Abuja or Canada, or anywhere at all. If Arab was possible for Pamilerin,
what could possibly be impossible?
He saw the house from a distance and all the lights were on. That was rather strange. They
usually put off the generator once it was 10, and judging from the neighbouring houses, the
Power Holding Company of Nigeria was doing what they did best, holding power. He checked
his phone, it was 11:30.
What’s going on? Mum, didn’t tell me about any special thing going on at home. It was then he
remembered he hadn’t called anyone to inform them of his visit. He thought popping a surprise
visit would calm his mum enough to let her allow him explain himself. He hadn’t even prayed
about his journey home, all he did was orchestrate a great plan in his mind and he was certain
he had it all together. He knew how to win his mother’s heart and she knew how to win his
father’s.
When he got inside the house, the number of people he saw startled him. Everyone was talking
at once. Jabbering about how they were happy to see him, how much weight he had lost, how
they didn’t know he was coming. All the women in the room were all over him, juggling his
cheeks, patting his back, hugging him, shaking hands with him.
“It’s so thoughtful of you to come for Rhoda’s wedding. She’d be so glad you’re around” Aunty
Lolade finally said.
“There’s a wedding?” He stuttered, looking around the room.
The room fell silent and everyone started talking again at the same time.
“Ah, ahn yes now”
“Se’bere ni yen? (Is that a question)”
“You didn’t get the invite?”
“She is getting married to the Oladipupo’s son, the man that just returned from Canada where
he did masters. Good thing their family finally has an educated person”
“Oh, oh, great. Please where is my mum?”
“Oko miiiii!! (My darling!)” Demetrius’ mum exclaimed as she entered the living room and
hugged him. She hugged him so tightly he gasped and she rocked him singing a song that
further embarrassed Demetrius.
Oko mi ti de (My darling has come)
Olu mi ti de (My lord has come)
Deme mi ti de (My Deme has come)
Oko mi ti de (My darling has come)
Kaabo, (Welcome)
Se daadaa lo de? (Hope you’ve arrived safely)
She continued singing, turning him. Demetrius’ side eye caught a glimpse of someone, he
turned his attention to the lady leaning against the doorjamb, wearing a sky blue wrap top and a
skirt, smiling at him and taking all his breath away. Yes, she still angled her head, she still had
those almond eyes. And the years that had passed seemed to do nothing but enhance her
beauty, especially with those luscious, feminine curves.
“Mummy, leave me. You’re embarrassing me” He said gruffly into her ear.
She let go of him. “Oti bere ni yen o (You have started o) I should not be happy to see my only
child abi? Shakara e gan po (You bluff too much)”
When his mum was done with all her drama and questions, Demetrius was free to walk over to
Ruth to say hello. With how he gave her all his attention, walked her to the corridor and his
carelessly open interest, he unwittingly passed a message across to everyone present in the
room. And the living room might well have been a temporary cage for several birds that bore
gossip on their wings.
After a brief talk with Ruth, his interest flared. As he lay on his bed, thinking about her. Her
smile, her eyes, her demureness, her poise, his conscience popped Abigail in his face.
I could do with a friend. You have friends, Deme, even if you want to be foolish, don’t fool
yourself. You like this girl. Ehn, I like her. Abigail nko? I love Abigail. Rubbish! Deme, get sense!
You might be able to kill two birds with a stone in the Holy Ghost but loving two ladies with one
heart is out of it, totally.
He turned his thoughts from Abigail and Ruth and bothered himself with what he would wear for
the party the next day. Thankfully, he brought a native attire for Sunday morning. But will that
do? Won’t he be underdressed? He needed a lace or a really cool Atiku fabric, a senator native
probably. Not the simple Ankara in his bag, it didn’t even have an impressive embroidery work
on it.
Deme, why are getting this pedantic about your looks? You know the last time you were
cleaning shoes and brushing eye brows it was for Abigail. Deme! In all thy gettings, get sense!
So, Abigail or Ruth, which is it going to be?
He sighed. Is Ruth a virgin? He told himself he was only being curious, but the deepest part of
him, the part he had been fighting to silence in recent times told him it wasn’t just a curious
question, it was a criteria, a prerequisite, one Abigail fell short of and the reason he even
considered a replacement in the first place.
Just then, the door of his room creaked, causing him to start. His father’s burly frame darkened
the entrance.
“Olayinka, omo mi (Olayinka, my son)” He started as he settled carefully on the bed. Demetrius
sat up against the wall, swallowing.
“Sir”
“You are my only son, my only child. Odun mejila gbako l’afi duro k’ato ri e bi (We waited twelve
whole years before we had you) But you already know this, I just need to remind you of how
precious you are to me. Olayinka, you matter more to me than any other person, you are my
future.”
It was weird but Demetrius was scared. Why was he father being mushy? Why was he saying
so much? He had never been the expressive kind, he had never even declared love to his mum
in his presence. What was going on? Was he dying?
“I’m an old man now-“
Oh, shit! Dad is going to die!
“-all I ask from you is to let me have peace in my last days. Do you know what will kill my
peace?”
“No- No sir”
“You marrying that Hausa girl”
Wait, what? This is what this entire episode of mush and emotions is about?
“Dad, she’s not even Hausa-”
“I don’t care! She will turn your heart against us. Seeing you set against me will destroy
whatever peace I ought to enjoy.”
“She’s not like that, she’s a-”
“You think you know her,” He chuckled. “You just wait.. I’ve seen this happen before. I cannot
make a choice for you, but you should know that I am your father, and I know what’s best for
you. Goodnight”
He stood up and walked gingerly to the door. He stopped and turned around.
“Ruth is a nice girl. She loves us, she’s like family. Give me peace, Olayinka”
The door clicked behind him.
His father’s word replayed in his mind. God I’m confused.
In Christ, there is neither Jew nor Greek, Yoruba or Hausa, circumcised or uncircumcised, but
Christ in all and through all. I am your heavenly father, I know what’s best for you. I know the
end of a thing from the beginning thereof. I made you, from your mother’s womb I ordained you.
Be still and know that I am God.
He sighed reassured. Thank you Jesus.
But did God really have his best interest at heart? If God really wanted the best for him, would
he give him a lady who had been used by several others?
You think you know her, you just wait.
He remembered Dare’s admonition too. Pick your thoughts.
Ruth is a nice girl. She loves us, she’s like family. Give me peace, Olayinka
Somewhere between his thoughts, tossing and turning he fell asleep. What woke him the next
morning was a tragic news. In the bride’s father’s sleep, he passed away. They had to hide the
news from the bride and her sister, else the entire wedding would be messed up. How would
they go about it? Who would walk Rhoda down the aisle? How would Rhoda’s mum bury her
grief enough to convince Rhoda and Ruth that all was well? For how long could they keep a
secret as enormous as a father’s death?
Back in Ibadan, Abigail was wondering why Demetrius wasn’t replying her texts or picking his
phone. She decided to pay him a visit on Saturday. She would hear from his neighbour that he
travelled the previous day.

Finale: With you or Not, Honey is Honey

1 John 5:21 “Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.”

She was worried, angry, surprised. She had been trying his line since the day she went over to
his, it was either unreachable or just left ringing. Her What’s App texts were left on double ticks.
It had been three days for God’s sake. What’s going on with him? Has he moved out of town? Is
he in danger? Is he on the run because of me?
She wanted to call his friends but she only knew Manny, his colleague at work and she didn’t
even have his contact. There was a Dare Demetrius often talked about, but she had never met
him, she had only heard much about him, how could she reach him? It was when she had to
reach him through someone else that she realized she knew no one else in Demetrius life and
this sudden realization more than unnerved her. Was she even a serious part of his life? They
had been in a relationship for close to five months and yet he hadn’t said anything about her
meeting his family. Was he just playing around with her? He had just upped and disappeared
and she could not even tell what direction her fiancé of several months had headed. What if he
had travelled out of the country?
When Abigail could handle her doubts no longer she decided to pray and seek advice.
David told her not to worry so much but she should have faith in God and trust Deme, he
believed Demetrius loved her and wouldn’t just break her heart like that but Peju wasn’t so
liberal.
“If he’s always making you question your place in his life, if you’re always in doubt of his love, of
your importance to him, then I think the foundations of this relationship should be revisited.”
Finally, someone gets it. “Exactly. Ever since I told him about my past, he has built this wall
around the topic. He wouldn’t talk about it, he wouldn’t even let me in on what he thinks of me.
I’m always wondering if every time he looks at me, he sees a whore” As she spoke, free tears
rolled.
David sighed and reclined, he looked at his wife. They were silent for some seconds.
“This is why I advised you to tell him from the onset before you were committed to him, it’s
easier to break things off earlier” David’s subdued tone made Abigail’s heart ache.
“I just didn’t want to spill my ugly things before a stranger, now I know better. Maybe, if I had told
him earlier, he wouldn’t have proposed and we won’t be here. Maybe I was just afraid of losing
him then, but now am I still not losing him? It would have been better earlier on, this was bound
to happen. My past would always pop in the face of my joy, won’t it?”
“One would think a man like Demetrius would be wiser” Peju was angry. “If he doesn’t want to
be with you he should say it, it’s his loss. We don’t have time to be sitting in the rocking chair of
an aimless relationship”
Abigail’s heart was hammering now, she didn’t want to think of losing Demetrius.
“I don’t want to lose him, I love him” She couldn’t even say how deeply she did.
“The question is, does he love you?-”
“Ye-” David stopped her from giving an answer off the top of her head.
“Are you as certain of his love as you are of yours?”
Now, she could only blubber. Her phone started ringing.
Peju saw how Abigail’s face lit up the moment she saw the caller ID and she knew it was
Demetrius before she whispered an awestruck ‘it’s him’ and excused herself to take the call.
With Abigail out of earshot, she turned to David.
“What is wrong with this Demetrius guy? Is he blind? Can’t he see how he’s messing up this gift
God is giving him? How shallow can a believer be?”
“Apparently, not many believers can see past their nostrils. I’m just quite amazed, when I talked
with him he had such strong convictions that one would think a hurricane wouldn’t budge it but..”
He shrugged.
“We need to talk with him”
“Hopefully, that achieves something, but more importantly we need to pray for them”
Aanu ran into the living room, with soiled hands. “Mummy, mummy, Daddy” she hyperventilated.
“My seeds have finished”
“Ooops. And what is the world greatest Agriculturist without any seed?” Peju teased her
“A culturist?”
Peju laughed. “I didn’t know that. Don’t worry darling, I will get you viable seeds when next I go
to the market”
Aanu brightened. “Thank you mummy, thank you”
“Now tell me, what does viable seed mean?” David quizzed.
“A seed that is good for planting and is not dormant”
Peju clapped, impressed. “That’s my super smart girl”
Beaming, she skittered off.
Abigail walked into the living room, smiling. “He went home and it turned out there was a family
wedding, then someone died and he just found himself caught up in a hot mess”
Peju nodded. “Is it just me or does this story sound very made u-”
David shot her a quelling glance “It’s just you”
She raised her hands. “Fine. Abigail, you need to know what God is saying about all these and
you have to talk, like actually have a talk that cuts deep with your man”
The surface excitement of hearing from Demetrius was gone, her palpitations were back.
As time went by, Demetrius grew more and more distant. The spark between him and Ruth had
crackled violently when her Dad died. A feeling of compassion and a need to fix Ruth’s world
made Demetrius feel indebted to her. It was solely because of her he had stayed back in
Osogbo till Wednesday. While he grieved with her, they had sombre talks that became strong
binding cords. She was easy to talk to, she loved the things of God, She had had her fair share
of life troubles. And somehow, by indirect and carefully chosen random questions, Demetrius
found out she was a virgin. She was the real deal.
When he prayed about her, he wasn’t seeking direction, he was placing his decision before God
and asking for validation. He heard nothing and he convinced himself that God’s silence was
acquiescence, even though he knew he had no peace about it in his Spirit.
The closer he got to Ruth over phone calls, video calls and chats, the more flawed Abigail
became in his sight. He all of a sudden had a problem with several things that were fine by him,
and even endeared him in the past. What with the dainty carriage? Why did she roll back her
shoulders and hold up her head like she was a movie star? Why did she have to smile so
lavishly often? Why did she wear make-up? Did her earrings have to dangle? How won’t she get
raped when almost everything she did drew attention to her?
With all of these going on, there were still days when Demetrius was enthralled by her, days
when he knew with no doubt that she was perfect for him and it was for the sake of moments
like those that he remained in the relationship, although he was disengaged and tepid.
It was becoming more and more glaring to Abigail that staying in the relationship was drawing
her back and draining her. She felt like maintaining the relationship was like trying to walk on
thin graphite, she had to watch her footfalls so she wouldn’t slip or break the thin sheet of
graphite beneath her. Nothing seemed to be of help, even the counselling session with the
Collins was like good water being poured out on a rock. When she turned to God, his
instructions were clear. She had to quit mourning Saul, he had rejected God’s gift and had
therefore been rejected from being fit to be her King, there was a David to come and till then,
the Lord promised to fill her horn with fresh oil.
It was a real struggle letting go, but the moment she decided to obey God and follow him by
faith was when she received a new spring to her gait.
The break up was really simple. Demetrius didn’t ask why, he didn’t fight for what they had, he
simply said ‘okay’ stood up and walked away. Did she imagine it or did she hear him sigh a
really long sigh? A burden had been lifted, she had helped him do what he had been finding
hard, was that it? As easily as doily landing in trash, their relationship of six months was
dropped.
Abigail didn’t hear from Demetrius till the next six months –the ease with which he moved on
made her wonder if she really ever mattered to him –and when she did, he hit her up on
WhatsApp with the picture of an invitation card.
“You may now kiss your bride” The MC boomed into the mic. “Since you people did not kiss in
church”
He smiled at Abigail, she smiled back at him and stealthily collected a wrap of sweet from her
chief bride’s maid. Just when she was about to pop it into her mouth, he held her hands and
drew her close, into her ears he spoke, raising his voice above the trumpet blast the DJ
released from his system.
“I’m certain that sweet has nothing on your honey”
“Isn’t that you?”
He cupped the back of her neck and kissed her.
“Enough o! Our brethren. These guys seem to be experienced, hah. Me I will not say anything
o” The congregation thundered a laugh in response to the MC’s silly remark.
Demetrius looked away, his stomach clenched tight. It had been three years since his
relationship with Abigail ended, he was now married to Ruth with a son, why did it matter that
she was kissing her husband? Why did he feel bereft? Maybe it’s because the groom was his
bosom friend and for no reasonable reason that felt like betrayal. In his defence, Dare only
made advances after he had married Ruth and he told him before he proposed. Demetrius
should be happy, he had a wife and a son, Abigail was just getting married, he was better off
–was he?
He wished he was in Dare’s shoes and he was willing to give everything to be there. They were
now dancing to a slow love song and Demetrius fought tears. Ruth was the idyllic wife he
thought he needed, but now he knew better. On several nights, Demetrius would come home
burdened from work, or with an issue on his mind but he wouldn’t even want to share it with his
wife, she almost always had nothing to say asides ‘Hmmm, it is well’ or ‘Let’s sha be praying’ or
any other empty line that made Demetrius wonder how he ended up with a woman like her. How
could a person be so religious and pious yet so spiritually shallow and carnally minded? Was he
even any better?
Every now and again, he remembered the long, meaningful conversations he had with Abigail,
the nights she prayed with him, received a word for him and discussed with him over the phone,
their priceless Thursday meetings. All the promises God made to them, the prophecies. He
threw all of that away for what? The fact that she wasn’t a virgin. Looking back, it was just plain
dumb. How had he idolized virginity so much that it blocked his spiritual senses and even
reasoning?
Well, he got what he wanted, he married a virgin Ruth but asides a hymen that went down in
one night, she had little else to offer. Oh yeah, she was beautiful but if all there is to a person’s
beauty is what can be seen with the eyes, with time and repeated seeing, it becomes lacklustre.
Ruth prodded him with her elbow. “Why are you staring at them like that?”
“How am I staring at them?”
She said nothing in response but he knew she had picked a fight and she wouldn’t stop until she
had ferreted every bit of the thoughts that ran through his mind. When she turned her head and
looked away, it seemed to Demetrius like she snapped her fingers in his face and said ‘You will
see when we get home’. The last thing he wanted was to return home after to yet another
nagging episode. He sighed, his head was aching already. This is the life you chose.
As Dare spun her around she giggled, recalling how hard she fought against being with him.
The odds were too heavy against him and the greatest was that he was Demetrius’ close friend.
It just didn’t feel right, but it was. She sighed, how God orchestrates his good plan is something
of an enigma. With Dare, she never struggled to be accepted, she was not reminded of her past
negatively, Dare loved her. She could say that confidently. He treated her like a queen not a
privileged dog.
She looked into the crowd and saw Mr. Olujimi and his wife looking amazing in a matching outfit.
His wife held their son to her torso and Abigail saw again that she was a really beautiful woman,
she was happy they were happy. She too was happy with Dare. She was glad she obeyed God
and let go when she needed to, she couldn’t even imagine living the rest of her life trying every
day to win her husband’s approval.
The MC gave Dare the mic to say something about his bride. The sweet things he said made
Abigail want to yank off her heels, grab the train of her gown and run out of the upscale hall.
Because there was no way all these could be for her.
The thief came to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come to give you life and that abundantly.
Bask in it, beloved.
Before, she bottled her tears for the sake of sluicing down her mascara and ruining her
make-up, but now, she could not care less.

THE END