SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL CREATIVE NONFICTION Quarter 1 — Module 1 Department of Education * Republic of the PhilippinesCreative Writing Grade 12 Alternative Delivery Mode Quarter 3— Module First Edition, 2021 Republic Act 8293, section 176 states that: No copyright shall subsist in any work of the Govemment of the Philippines. However, prior approval of the government agency or office wherein the ‘work is created shall be necessary for the exploitation of such work for a profit. Such agency or office may. among other things, impose as a condition the payment of royalties. Borrowed materials (ie., songs, stories, poems, pictures, photos, brand names, trademarks, etc.) included in this book are owned by their respective copyright holders. Every effort has been exerted to locate and seek permission to use these materials from their respective copyright owners. The publisher and authors do not represent nor claim ownership over them. Published by the Department of Education Secretary: Undersecretary: Assistant Secretary Development Team of the Module Authors: Francis Elaine T. Boque, Pemi A. Lioce, Melencio T. Reformado Jr., Leoncio Sampayan and Aileen G. Valle Editor, PemiA. Loce Reviewer: Mrs. Annabelle H. Nava Mlustrator: Layout Artist: Management Team: Dr. Joel T. Torrecampo and Mr. Juan C. Obierna, Printed in the Philippines by Schools Division of Las Piftas City Department of Education — Schools Division of Las Pifias City Office Address: Gabaldon Bldg.. Brgy. Elias Aldana, Padre Diego Cera Avenue, Las Pifias City Telefax:(02) 8-835-9030 I (02) 8-82-3840 E-mail Address:laspinas.city@deped. gov.ph12 Creative Nonfiction Quarter 2 — Module This instructional material was collaboratively developed and reviewed by educators from public schools. We encourage teachers and other education stakeholders to email their feedback, comments, and recommendations to the Department of Education at action@deped gov ph We value your feedback and recommendations. Department of Education + Republic of the PhilippinesIntroductory Message For the facilitator: Welcome to the Creative Writing Alternative Delivery Mode (ADM) for Grade 121 This leaming resource hopes to engage the learners in guided and independent learning activities at their own pace and time. Furthermore, this also aims to help learners acquire the needed 21st century skills while taking into consideration their needs and circumstances. To the parents: As parents, you play a vital role in educating your child's life; hence, you may also help provide the support and stimuli that your child needs to make sense of the world. Since we are currently facing the coronavirus pandemic, now is the perfect time for you to make your home a school and act as a teacher to your child. For the learner: This module was designed to provide you with fun and meaningful opportunities for guided and independent learning at your own pace and time. You will be enabled to process the contents of the learning resource while being an active learner. ‘The module is divided into eight lessons: * Lesson? = Commentary or Critique * Lesson2 - Presenting Commentary or Critique * Lesson3 - Outlining a Critique Paper * Lesson4 - — Writing a Critique Paper * Lesson5 - Brainstorming and Creating Graphic Organizers * Lesson6 - Personal Essay * Lesson7 - Revising the Draft Based on Contents, Grammar, and Mechanics * Lesson8 - Revise the Draft Based on Style In this module, you are expected to: * Determine the nature of a Critique Paper. * Write a critique paper * Compose a personal essay.Commentary or Critique WHAT | NEED TO KNOW We may see commentaries or critiques given to creative nonfictional texts. That is why in this lesson, you are expected to’ 1. describe a commentary/critique based on a creative nonfictional text representing a particular type or form; and 2. portray a commentary/critique on a creative nonfictional text. WHAT IS IT ‘A commentary or critique is a formal analysis and evaluation of a text or performance. Remember that it may express a positive as well as a negative assessment. Dor't confuse critique or commentary with criticize in the popular sense of the word, meaning “to point out faults’. Indeed, it might give you a general impression, pros and cons, and even suggestions for improvement. Source: Dr. Murray and Anna C. Rockowitz, “THE WRITING PROCESS: Writing a Critique” The Rockowitz Writing Center (2020)WHAT'S MORE We may see commentaries or critiques for the following: >>Biographies >>Travelogues >>Testimonies >>Autobiographies >>Literary Journalisms _>>Blogs >>Personal Narratives _>>Travelogues >>Reflection WHAT | CAN DO Task 1. The critique to the excerpt of the creative nonfictional text below (an example of a literary journalism/reportage piece that comes closest to newspaper and magazine writing) is giving a suggestion for improvement in terms of punctuation marks. Rewrite it by placing correct punctuations. Use a separate sheet of paper in writing your paragraph. Unlike the United States, Israel has a multiparty system under which citizens vote for their favorite party instead of their favorite candidate Each party receives a portion of seats in the legislature; called the Knesset, depending on its vote total. Not every party receives seats in the Knesset. A party must receive 1.5 percent of the vote in order to seat its candidates The Israeli government is different from our government in many other ways; legislation, for example, usually originates in the cabinet; not the legislature. Also, the chief executive; called the prime minister, may be voted out of office at any time, this can occur if the Knesset makes a vote of “no confidence” in the prime minister. Souree:"EdltingandProcfreading” Glencoe/MeGraw-Hilpage( TheMeGraw-HillCompanies, Inc,,2001).httpi/www.glencoe.com/sites/nerth_carolina/studentiterature/assets/binders/editandproot_g10_ne,pdf Task 2. Use a Venn Diagram to compare/contrast the two commentaries/critiques. You may use a separate sheet of paper in doing this activity. Paragraph # 1: Dogs are canines that people domesticated a long time ago. Wolves are predecessors of dogs and they help people in a variety of ways. There are various reasons for owning a dog, and the most important is companionship. Paragraph # 2: Dogs are canines that people domesticated a long time ago, primarily for practical reasons. Even though dogs descended from wolves, they are tame and can be 4kept in households. Since they are tame, people have various reasons for owning a dog, such as companion. Source: “Coherence: How Writing Clearly Facilitates Manuscript Acceptance” Enago Academy, 2020. _hittps://www.enago.com/academy/coherence-academic-writing-tips- strategies Task 3. Read the excerpt below. Using 10-15 sentences, write your personal comment about the excerpt. Living Without Fear (an excerpt) by Christopher Reeve Of course, the greater difficulty lies in being fearless in surrendering and in giving. | don’t want to sound too noble, but | really have been able to say, Allright, Tve had some setbacks, but look at the other people who have benefited. | recommend you do the same thing because being fearless is not always going to get you exactly where you expect to go. It might take you in a completely different direction. it might not give you what you want, but it can satisfy you to know you did something for the world, for the planet, or even just for your family or your neighbors. And that's enough. Source: Reeve, Christopher. ‘Living Without Fear” Text Analysis Workshop. https:/wwwliterarydevices.com (Accessed December 5, 2017).Presenting a Commentary or Critique WHAT I NEED TO KNOW It is important to make and present a commentary or critique on a chosen creative nonfictional text. That is why in this lesson, you are expected to: 1. present a commentary/critique on a creative nonfictional text representing a particular type or form; and 2. create a commentary/critique based on a creative nonfictional text. WHATIS IT A commentary or critique is a written or broadcast assessment of something, usually a creative work, with comments on its good and bad qualities. If you are asked for a personal response, remember that your assessment should not be the expression of an unsupported opinion. Your interpretations and your conclusions must be based on evidence from the text and follow from the ideas you have dealt with in the paper. Source: Dr. Murray and Anna C. Rockowitz, “THE WRITING PROCESS: Writing a Critique” The Rockowitz Writing Center (2020). http://www. hunter.cuny.edu/rwe/handouts/the-writing-process- Sinvention/Writing-a-CritiqueWHAT'S MORE We must remember that commentary/critique writing is to do any the following: > Describe: give the reader a sense of the writer's overall purpose and intent (Example: “I leamed a great deal about the impact of consumer culture on women and the empty feminine ideals it promotes.") > Analyze: examine how the structure and language of the text convey its meaning (Example: “There is liberal use of hyperboles and exaggerated language.”) > Interpret: state the significance or importance of each part of the text (Example: “The last sentence of chapter 17 rings a satisfying death knell for the end of Act Il and segues nicely to chapter 18.”) > Assess: make a judgment of the work’s worth or value (Example. “.great job of expressing your personality through your choice of words and examples...") Source: Dr. Murray and Anna C. Rockowitz, "THE WRITING PROCESS: Writing a Critique” The Rockowitz Writing Center (2020). http://www. hunter. cuny..edu/rwe/nandouts/the-writing-process- Vinvention/Writing-2- WHAT I CAN DO Task 1. Using a single but meaningful sentence, write your personal comment about the given excerpt. Use a separate sheet of paper in writing your answer. ‘A Moveable Feast (an excerpt) by Ernest Hemingway As | ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as | drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, | lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans. Source: “Literary Devices”. Literary Devices, Terms, and Elements, May 1, 2017. https:/iwww.Iterarydevices.com (Accessed December 5, 2017).Task 2 Read another paragraph which is an excerpt of a biography (an account of somebody's life written or produced by another person). This time, try to provide two sentences as your analysis or interpretation. Use a separate sheet of paper in writing your answer. Steve Jobs (an excerpt) by Walter Isaacson | remember sitting in his backyard in his garden, one day, and he started talking about God. He [Jobs] said, “Sometimes | believe in God, sometimes | don't. | think it's 50/50, maybe. But ever since I've had cancer, I've been thinking about it more, and | find myself believing a bit more, maybe it's because | want to believe in an afterlife, that when you dig, it doesn't just all disappear. The wisdom you've accumulated, somehow it lives on.” Source: “Literary Devices”. Literary Devices, Terms, and Elements, May 1, 2017. htips://www.lterarydevices.com (Accessed December 5, 2017). Task 3 Present a commentary/critique that describes, analyze, interpret, or assess based on the testimony (evidence that supports a fact or a claim) that is shown below. Write your paragraph on a separate sheet of paper. Rheumatoid Arthritis and Degenerative Disc Disease Cured Before coming to see Dr. Bergman in April 1, 2017, | was in constant pain and suffering from extreme fatigue. | was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2002 and degenerative disc disease in my neck and lower spine. Since coming to Dr. Bergman on a regular basis, | am off all six medications and have no longer needed the injections in my neck and spine for pain management. | have more energy and virtually no painWhat a blessing it is to have been introduced to Dr. Bergman. Forever Grateful Dawn Elliot Source: "Examples of Great Testimonials” Zoho Academy, Zoho Corporation Pvt. Ltd (2020). htips:/www.zoho.com/academy/website building/testimonials/examples-of- great-testimonials.html Task 5 Read each item carefully. Then, select the letter of the correct answer among the choices given. Use a separate sheet of paper in writing your answer. 1. This creative nonfictional text is a collection of memories that someone writes about his or her own life. A. Biography B. Memoir C. Testimony D. None of the above 2. This creative nonfictional text is an account of somebody's life written or produced by another person. A. Biography B. Memoir C. Testimony D. None of the above 3. This creative nonfictional text is an evidence that supports a fact or a claim. A. Biography B. Memoir C. Testimony D. None of the above 4, This is one quality of a commentary/critique which is to examine how the structure and language of the text conveys its meaning. A. Describe B. Analyze C. Assess D. Interpret 5. This is one quality of a commentary/critique which is to make a judgment of the work's worth or value. A. Describe B. Analyze C. Assess D. InterpretOutlining a Critique Paper WHAT I NEED TO KNOW This lesson will help you to critically evaluate a text. As a reader, it is important you can evaluate whether a text is worth reading or not. As you go through this lesson, you are expected to’ 1. identify the process of writing a critique aper; and 2. create an outline of a critique paper WHAT IS IT What is a critique paper? A critique is a paper that gives a critical assessment of a book or article. It is systematic analysis of a piece of literature that discusses its validity and evaluates its worth. Its main purpose is not informational, but analytic and persuasive. In analyzing the content and context within which an article was written, the writer of a critique argues whether it is worth reading or not. It briefly summarizes and critically evaluates a work or concept. Critiques can be used to carefully analyze a variety of works such as: Creative works — novels, exhibits, film, images, poetry, essay for students. Like an essay, a critique uses a formal, academic writing style and has a clear structure, that is, an introduction, body and conclusion. However, the body of a critique includes a summary of the work and a detailed evaluation. The purpose of an evaluation is to gauge the usefulness or impact of a work in a particular field. WHAT’S MORE How to write a critique. Before you start writing, it is important to have a thorough understanding of the work that will be critiqued > Study the work under discussion. 10> Make notes on key parts of the work > Develop an understanding of the main argument or purpose being expressed in the work, > Consider how the work relates to a broader issue or context. Structure of a critique paper. 1.Introduction a. Describe the main argument or purpose of the work. b. Explain the content in which the work was created? 2. Summary and Critical Evaluation a. Briefly summarize the main points. b. A ciitical evaluation highlight negative impressions. It should identify both strength and weaknesses. 3. Conclusion. a. A summary of the key reasons, identified during the critical evaluation, why this evaluation was formed. b, Recommendations for improvement on the work may be appropriate. Standards to Evaluate Critique. The bases by which a peer's work is evaluated are the following: coherence, organization of paragraphs, development of literary elements and actual information, and contents. ©) O@ ¥ WHAT I CAN DO és Task 1. Identify whether the statement refers to the introduction, body, and conclusion. 1. Describe the main argument or purpose of the work. 2. Identified during the critical evaluation, why this evaluation was formed 3. A critical evaluation highlights negative impression. 4, Recommendations for improvement on the work may be appropriate. 5. Explain the content in which the work was created uwTask 2. Match each statement in Column A with its intended meaning in Column B. Column A 1. Coherence 2. Organization of Paragraph 3. Development of Paragraph 4. Order of Development 5. Information Column B A. write the topic and supporting sentences B. can be verified as factual. C. the quality of being logical and consistent D. arrangement of details according to importance E. structure to create a unified body of text Task 3. Create an outline on how to write a critique paper. Use the information inside the box to create the outline. Summary Briefly summarize the main points Introduction Critical Evaluation Highlights negative impressions Conclusion Recommendations for improvement on the work may be appropriate Describe the main argument or purpose of the work. OUTLINE I. Introduction. a b. Il, Briefly summarizes the main point a. b. II.Conclusion a. 2Writing a Critique Paper WHAT I NEED TO KNOW In the previous lesson, you were able to know the nature of outlining a critique paper. This time, you will discover and practice how to formally write a critique paper. As you go through this lesson, you are expected to’ 1. explained the structure of a critique paper; and 2. write a critique paper WHATIS IT A critique is a formal analysis and evaluation of a text, production, or performance—either one’s own (a self-critique) or someone else's. In composition, a critique is sometimes called a response paper. When written by another expert in the field, a critique can also be called a peer review. Peer reviews are done to decide whether to accept an article for publication in a scholarly journal or, in an education setting, can be done in groups of students who offer feedback to each other on their papers (peer response). WHAT'S MORE Critical Analysis Template (Adapted from Thompson Rivers University Writing Center) Parts Explanation introduction | + State the title of the work, the authors name and the dale of publication + Outline main ideas of the book and identify the author's thesis + State your own thesis statement and your main idea about the work The novella, The Metamorphosis, by Frank Kafra is an excellent story because the author... The article “Narrative of intercultural transformation" by Ingrid Adams is informative and insightful because the author. ‘Summary + Briefly outline the main ideas of the book, article or film. + Should involve who, what, where, when, why and how B+ You may also choose to discuss the structure, style or point of view Analysis + Critically state that you like and do not like about the book article or film + Explain your ideas with specific examples from the book, article or film Assess whether the author has achieved their intended goal The analysis may look at whether the work is Restate your thesis in new words ‘Summarize your main ideas if possible, with new and stronger words Include a call to action for your reader. You must read this book because..... or This article is not useful because... Conclusion Paragraph Organization Each BODY PARAGRAPH has three parts: Introduction: topic sentence + sentences that provide background information Body: discusses the single topic through the use of facts, arguments, analysis, examples, statistics, etc. Conclusion: Summarizes connections between information presented and the overall purpose. Paragraph organization refers to the way sentences are ordered and structured to create a unified and cohesive body of text. According to MELC, peer's work can be evaluated based on coherence and organization of paragraph, development of literary elements, uses of factual information, and other qualities concerning forms and contents. WHAT! CAN DO Task 1. Identify the terms being describe in the following statements. 1. States the title of the work, the author's name and the date of publication. 2. Summarizes the main ideas if possible with new and stronger words. 3. Briefly outline the main ideas of the book, article or film, 4, refers to the way sentences are ordered and structured to create a unified and cohesive body of text. 5. a formal analysis and evaluation of a text, production, or performance— either one’s own or someone else's. 14Task 2. Identify the following statements whether it is under Introduction, Summary, Analysis, or Conclusion. 1. Include a call to action for your reader. 2. Briefly outline the main ideas of the book, article, or film. 3. State the title of the work, the author's name and the date of publication. 4. Assess whether the author has achieved their intended goal. 5. Restate your thesis in new words Task 3. Read the poem below and write a critique paper about it. Consider the rubric below before doing the task. To the Man | Married You are my earth and all the earth implies: The gravity that ballasts me in space, The air | breathe, the land that stills my cries For food and shelter against devouring days You are the earth whose orbit marks my way And sets my north and south, my east and west, You are the final, elemented clay The driven heart must turn to for its rest. If in your arms that hold me now so near Iift my keening thoughts to Helicon As trees long rooted to the earth uprear Their quickening leaves and flowers to the sun, You who are earth, O never doubt that | Need you no less because | need the sky! 15I cannot love you with a love That outcompares the boundless sea, For that were false, as no such love And no such ocean can ever be. But I can love you with a love As finite as the wave that dies And dying holds from crest to crest The blue of everlasting skies. Source: _https://owication.com/humanities/Glorias-To-the-Man-I-Married-He- and-Foundation Rubric: Criteria Expert | Proficient | Apprentice | Novice (According to MELC) 54 3 2 Coherence Organization of Paragraph Development of elements Factual Information Form and contents 16Brainstorming and Creating Graphic Organizers WHAT | NEED TO KNOW Literary texts can be used to entertain, teach a lesson, convey meaning, or share ideas. However, drafting your literary texts can be difficult if you cannot process your ideas very well. Thus, it is important to know and understand the different ways on how writers can organize and generate ideas for his or her text. Inthis lesson, you will be given tasks that will let you identify the different ways of brainstorming and understand the different types of graphic organizers. As you go through this lesson, you are expected to: 1. identify the different ways of brainstorming; 2. differentiate the different types of graphic organizers; and 3. make a graphic organizer of a particular topic. WHAT IS IT Brainstorming is a process to help you generate ideas about essay topics. When you brainstorm, do not worry about correct grammar or spelling. Just focus ‘on getting your ideas on paper. Here are three ways to brainstorm ideas for an essay: 4. Ask wh- questions about your topic. With this method, you begin with a general idea of the topic that you are interested in. Then ask the questions Who? What? When? Where? Why? and, in some cases, How? The answers to these questions will help clarify what you would like to write about 2. Make a list of words or phrases that describe your topic. This list can help with vocabulary choices when you write your essay. Here is a sample list on the topic of Women's Day. Remember, this is the first step in the writing process, so many of your ideas might change wv3. Make a visual map of your essay ideas. One kind of visual map is called clustering. To make a cluster map, write your topic in the center of a piece of paper and then circle it. Then draw lines out from the circle. At the end of those lines write words and ideas associated with the topic. Write whatever comes to mind. Connect any words that are related with lines. When you are finished, you will have many new ideas about your topic. WHAT’S MORE According to Bromley, DeVitis & Modlo (1999), graphic organizers are visual representation of knowledge that structures information by arranging important aspects of a concept or a topic into a pattern using labels. The main purpose of using a graphic organizer is to help present the information in concise ways that highlights the importance and relationship of concepts. Graphic Organizers have different types depending on its uses or how a particular information is organized. Some of these are listed below: GRAPHIC ORGANIZER ‘SAMPLE Descriptive or Thematic Map works well hr he hip for mapping generic information, but particularly well for mapping hierarchical relationships. Network Tree is organizing a hierarchical set of __ information, _reflecting Newrk Tne superordinate or subordinate elements, Problem-Solution Outline compare the different possible solutions to a problem. 18Fishbone Map shows the cause and effect relationship. — Compare and Contrast Matrix is used to compare and contrast two concepts according to their features or attributes. Cat iti Series of Events Chain helps to organize ; information according to various steps or mane ae tage Instiating vent t Cycle Map is useful for organizing information that is circular or cyclical, with | no absolute beginning or ending. h ms ime Source: http:/www.cast.org/publications/ncacincac_go.htmi#types WHAT I CAN DO Task 1 Write down five wh-questions about the topic COVID-19. 1. Who 2. What 3. When 4, Where Why 19Task 2. Put a check (¥) if the statement is related to the topic and write X if it is not related to the topic. Topic: Writing an Essay ___1. The introduction of an essay is a paragraph that begins your story. ____ 2. Apersonal essay is an essay about your real-life and personal experiences. 3. Aconelusion should have a hook to catch the reader's attention. ____ 4. An essay has two parts; an introduction and conclusion. ____5. The introduction must grab the reader's attention. Activity 3. Create your own graphic organizer listing down five activities/things that you have done during the community quarantine. Elaborate these activities in the explanation part. Explanation 20Personal Essay | WHAT | NEED TO KNOW In every literary text, there is an outline that writers can used as their guide when writing. Making outlines help you organize your ideas according to the importance or purpose of your writing In this lesson, you will be given tasks that will let you make an outline and write a literary text As you go through this lesson, you are expected to’ 1. make an outline based on real-life experience; and 2. write a personal essay based on the outline, WHAT IS IT A personal essay is a piece of writing that serves to describe an important lesson gathered from a writer's life experiences. The essay often describes a significant event from a first-person perspective, and can be done in various writing styles, like a formal essay or as creative nonfiction. Personal essays usually have a conversational tone that creates a connection with the reader. This type of essay can be inspiring and uplifting, or it can serve as a warning to others to avoid the author's mistakes. It can cover a variety of different topics as long as it is something that happened in your life that sparkled growth or changed you in some way. It is enriched by your personal opinion How to Structure a Personal Essay ‘A good personal essay should contain an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The standard length is about five paragraphs, but personal essays can be longer or shorter, as long as they contain all three basic sections: 4. Introduction: The first sentences of your essay should include a hook that captures the reader's attention. Provide a personal statement that you plan on proving in the body of your essay. Avoid common clichés like opening with a famous quote (especially if this is a college essay), and try to form a unique connection with your audience. 2. Body: The body of your essay is the meat of your story that should include your main points and personal evidence supporting the thesis statement of your narrative essay. This ais where you, as a writer, share how your personal experiences shaped your point of view, and reflect on the knowledge gleaned 3. Conclusion: Your conclusion should restate your thesis and contain the moral of your story or a revelation of a deeper truth. Review why this essay matters and sum up the things you want the reader to take away from this particular piece. WHAT'S MORE Tips for Writing a Personal Essay 4. Create an essay outline. Drafting a personal essay outline first can help you lay out the main points and tone of the message you are trying to share. Your outline will help you figure out early on if this specific moment is worth writing about. Whichever topic you choose for your essay, it must have had a strong emotional impact on you or have taught you a lesson in some way 2. Start with your intro. Include your hook, state your thesis, and form an emotional connection with the reader. Set your audience up for what your piece will be about and give them something to look forward to. 3. Fill your body paragraphs. Use sensory details about the sequence of events surrounding your thesis to guide the reader through your personal essay. Build up your personal story here to eventually lead the reader to your main point. 4, Be specific. A descriptive essay about a significant moment in your life is much more engaging than a general overview of something that happened to you. Provide the details necessary about real life characters or any particular feelings experienced 5. Include a conclusion. Summarize what you learned from your experience and what message you hope to pass on to the reader. It might be a difficult or unsettling revelation, but ending on a generally positive or hopeful note can help it feel more inspirational or uplifting. 6. Proofread your work. Aside from checking spelling and grammar, make sure your intent is clear and your narrative is easy to follow. No matter how good your writing skills are, it's always helpful to reread your own work and ensure you've solidified your story. ‘Adopted trom Mester class 2019), How to White a Personal Essay 2WHAT I CAN DO Task 1 Read the statements carefully. Write T if the statement is TRUE and write F if the statement is FALSE. __1. A personal essay is based on a writer's life experience. ____2. A personal essay has three major parts. ____3. Making an outline is not important when writing. ___4. A personal essay is based on a third person perspective. ___5. Personal essay topics cover a variety of different subject matters. Task 2 Think of a memorable incident that happen in your life. Complete the outline below by supplying the necessary information. |. Memorable Incident: A. Setting 8: People involved: 1 List major events that happen A B. Ill, MoraliRealization: Task 3 On a separate sheet of paper, write a personal essay based on your outline in your previous activity and make sure to follow the guidelines below. Guidelines in writing: + It must have an introduction, body (composed of at least 3 paragraphs) and a conclusion. Each paragraph is composed of at least 5 - 7 sentences. The story should be based on your memorable real-life experience Double — space your essay. Rubric will be provided by your teacher. 2BLesson] Revising the Draft Based on Contents, Grammar, and Mechanics WHAT | NEED TO KNOW One factor to look for in revising a draft is to revise the content. It is making sure the information is complete and the audience can grasp its significance; eliminate unnecessary details and add any essential details that are missing. As you go through this lesson, you are expected to: 1. identity the correct transition to use; 2. identify the grammar and mechanic errors in sentences 3. revise a paragraph focusing on the content WHATIS IT Use these strategies to review your work when you revise. 1. Consider the purpose, audience, and point-of-view ‘As you reread your personal essay, keep your general-purpose, and your specific purpose in mind. Be sure that you have included relevant details that will interest your audience. Check, too, that you maintain a consistent point-of- view. 2. Check unity and focus Be sure that you have made your focusing idea clear. If you included dialogue, see if it moves the action along and is appropriate with your essay. Look again at your introductory and concluding paragraphs to make sure that they are effective. 3. Revise coherence and transitions Concentrate on the organization of your paragraphs. Make sure transitional words and phrases are present to make the order of events clear. Check that your presentation of ideas and make sure everything is explained to your readers. Be sure that your thesis is clear, that your topic is fully developed, and that you have included in the concluding paragraph a personal perspective on the significance of your topic. 24WHAT'S MORE One important factor to consider in revising is the grammar and mechanics. The key to revising your work for grammar (both word choice and wording) and mechanics (small but important matters such as punctuation) is to, in effect, listen to your work anew. Grammatically, writers tend to make their most obvious errors in these areas: aeons Subjectiverb agreement, which can usually be addressed by identifying each subject and verb in your sentences, ignoring the other words mentally, and making certain that they match in number and sound Verb tense, which must be considered both for consistency and context. Writers can switch verb tenses within a paragraph as long as the context calls for it, but unnatural shifts in verb tense stand out loudly (“The sample was heated and then cool before storage’). Runs-ons and fragments, which can again be addressed by identifying your subjects and verbs, and in some cases by assessing sentence length Commonly confused terms, which are easy to look up in any style handbook, and therefore a potential source of great irritation to your educated readers From a mechanics standpoint, writers do themselves a great favor by learning to understand punctuation conceptually and fundamentally, as follows: comma Is a separator. Therefore, when you use one you should identify why the material is worthy of separation. A colon is an arrow pointing forward. It tells us that new information, which is promised by the wording before it, is about to arrive. A semicolon is a mark of co-dependency. It is usually used to join phrases or sentences having grammatical equivalency, and it emphasizes that the joined parts are related, even co-dependent, in context. A dash redefines what was just said. It is a powerful way to make an important aside and to tack on an additional comment of consequence—a comment that redefines. When typing the dash, be certain that you don't type a hyphen, but two hyphens in a row or a long bar (which Word is perfectly happy to provide automatically as you juxtapose two typed hyphens or via its pull-down symbol map). Capitalization and Spelling Directions: Punctuate and fix the capitalization error in the following sentences. i like playing with my friends sandy sunny sameer we went through the smoky mountains, near shimla on our way to leh myfavourite soap is pears and my favourite toothpaste is pepsodent i'm a catholic and that's why i go to st,joseph’s school my friend priya speaks german and she is teaching me some words 25WHATICAN DO Task 1 Identify the six errors in subject-verb agreement in the paragraph and revise it with proper grammar and mechanics. According to legend Santa Claus is a fat old man who visits every house on our planet in about eight hours on one of the coldest nights of the year Santa, as everybody ! knows, stop for a glass of milk and a cookie at each house along the route. He prefer to : work unnoticed, so he wears a luminous red suit and travels with a pack of bell-jangling | reindeer. For reasons that most people does not understand this jolly old man enters : each house not by the front door but through the chimney (whether you has a chimney or not). He customarily gives generously to children in wealthy families, and he usually | remind poorer children that it's the thought that counts. Santa Claus is one of the earliest ! beliefs that parents try to instill in their children. After this absurdity, it's a wonder that any child ever believe in anything again. Task 2: ! Audience: Classmate ! Purpose: To entertain with a narrative about a first attempt at rewiring a house. ‘Well’, said Alvin, turning to me, “all we're going to have to do is run a few wires and hook up a few more.” | wasn't at all sure it would be that easy, but he was the one with ! experience. So | set about doing what Alvin told me to do. For the next two hours, | snaked some cables through the walls. You always wonder how that was done. Itis an interesting procedure. | did what Alvin told me to do. Alvin made all connections, using or another of : the tools that circled his waist in an impressive leather holster. It must have been awfully heavy, that belt. My job was to add two wall-switch-operated apparatuses to a family room so that more lamps could be used. Once we had made the connections, we were ready ! to test our work. Alvin flipped one switch, and the light in the adjoining kitchen came on. | He flipped another, and we heard the door of the garage below us begin to rise. It looks like we missed our connections! A. Ona sheet of paper, identify the different transitional words and phrases used in the paragraph above. B. Using the same paragraph above, identify the phrases and sentences that do not contribute to the unity of the paragraph. C. On a sheet of paper, revise the content of the paragraph above so that it is appropriate for the audience and the purpose specified. Correct any incoherency, lack of unity, or inconsistently from the point of view. 26Revise the Draft Based on Style WHAT | NEED TO KNOW Checking on the style is another thing writer should watch for in revising a draft. ‘As you go through this lesson, you are expected to’ 1. Identify the tone expressed in different passages; 2. write and revise sentence structure; 3. revise a paragraph focusing on the style and content. WHAT IS IT Another factor to take into consideration when revising your personal essay is the style and tone. Use these strategies to review your work when you revise. 4. Check for sentence variety Look at your sentences. Do they begin in a variety of ways? Do they vary in length? Sentence variety includes © Starting a Sentence with an Adverb = Original sentences: She slowly turned the comer and peered into the murky basement. = Revised sentence: Slowly, she turned the comer and peered into the murky basement. ©. Starting a Sentence with a Prepositional Phrase = Original sentences: The terrified child hid underneath the table. = Revised sentence: Underneath the heavy wooden table, the terrified child hid © Starting a Sentence by Inverting Subject and Verb = Original sentences: A truck was parked in the driveway. = Revised sentence: Parked in the driveway was a truck. © Joining Ideas Using a Relative Clause = Original sentences: The managing director is visiting the company next week. He lives in Seattle. = Revised sentence: The managing director, who lives in Seattle, is visiting the company next week. 2. Consider the tone of your work. 27Are your tone- the attitude that communicates about your subject, your purpose, and your audience—consistent? Does it suit your purpose? 3. Examine word choice and clarity. Reread your essay once again, paying attention to the words that your use. Do they suit your purpose and your audience? Are their connotations appropriate? Are your verbs vigorous? Do they engage and hold your reader's attention? WHAT'S MORE Directions: Circle the letter of the word that most clearly expresses the tone in each passage. 1. Each year in the middle of February, when slush is underfoot and the sky is a depressing gray, | begin dreaming of warm beaches, tropical fruits, and sunsets. If only | could save enough for a winter vacation! Maybe next year I'l win the lottery. Meanwhile, I'll read travel brochures and sigh. A. unsure B. joyous C.longing —D. sad 2. We have come together this aftemoon to mourn the deaths of sixteenminers—our friends and neighbors—who were trapped by fire yesterday, deep below the earth. They lived bravely and they died too soon, leaving behind grieving wives and bewildered children. We bid them a final farewell A. forgiving B. sorrowful C.angry —-D. happy 3. Often you feel you've done nothing when you've actually done a lot. That’s because what you did do seemed beneath notice—it was so small that it didn’t “count.” But it did—just as each stitch counts toward a finished dress, each brick or nail toward a house you can live in, each mistake toward knowing how to do things right ‘A. hesitant B. encouraging C.amused — D. curious 4, Avaccine is a preparation of killed or weakened germs that is injected under the skin and causes the blood to produce antibodies against the disease. Effective vaccines, for instance, have been developed for smallpox, rabies, and polio. A. objective B. arrogant C.regretful D.subjective 5. Sure, litterbugs account for a lot of the trash blowing around our city's streets, but there are other villains too. What about people who set out their trash days ahead of their scheduled trash pickup time? Worse yet are the stores that pile boxes in back alleys, and restaurants whose mounds of green—bagged trash draw rodents and roaches. A. critical B. tolerant C. depressed D. stressed 28WHAT | CAN DO Task 41: Combine each set of simple sentences into a compound or a complex sentence. Write the combined sentence on your own sheet of paper. 1. Heroin is an extremely addictive drug. Thousands of heroin addicts die each year. 2. Shakespeare's writing is still relevant today. He wrote about timeless themes. These themes include love, hate, jealousy, death, and destiny. 3. Gay marriage is now legal in six states. lowa, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Maine all permit same-sex marriage. Other states are likely to follow their example. 4. Prewriting is a vital stage of the writing process. Prewriting helps you organize your ideas. Types of prewriting include outlining, brainstorming, and idea mapping 5. Mitch Bancroft is a famous writer. He also serves as a governor on the local school board. Mitch's two children attend the school. Task 2: Ona sheet of paper, revise the paragraph for sentence variety, word choice, and clarity. Two years ago, | never thought that choosing a career was such a snore. At that time, got to watch my brother go through it. He got out of college and still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. As soon as he graduated, advice was given to him by the whole by the whole bunch of people, including every relative we have. The problem was everyone's advice was different from everybody else's. That really messes you up, so my brother finally turned to professional guidance counselor when he got confused. After working with them for a couple ! of weeks, they helped them narrow it down. Now he works for a law firm and goes to school ! atnight because he wants to be a lawyer. 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"SE}BPIPUED Su yeas 0} OPO UL B}OA 10 1080160 ¢ 1 exo001 snus Ao d y_19550U> OUI S1B95 SaNEOR! ‘ed Arar oN 1401 29ON Sp Uo CupLedep i2sseUy ou PIED “aunys69 24 ut Seas Jo uoMod v sonoa1 Aued Yoe aIePpUED ‘ote 4g Jo Pees Ayed syuore tg JO} 3)O8 SEI pty sopin wessts Aedyru e sey fe} ‘SOPIS Partin aM Ox base, buosso7 Aa someutyReferences “Coherence: How Writing Clearly Facilitates Manuscript Acceptance” Enago Academy, 2020. https /www.enago. com/academy/coherence-academic-writing-tips-strategies! Dr. Murray and Anna C. Rockowitz, “THE WRITING PROCESS: Writing a Critique” The Rockowitz Writing Center (2020). http: writings = ‘VinventionWriting-2-Critique Microsoft Encarta. Microsoft Corporation (1993-2008). Reeve, Christopher. “Living _without Fear’ ~—Text_— Analysis Workshop. https: www literarydevices.com (Accessed December 5, 2017) Publishing, University. 2020. "TA Sentence Variety". Mipp.Pressbooks.Pub. "Punctuation Examples & Exercises: The Definitive Guide (2020). 2020. My Site. https://www.mbarendezvous.com/punctuation/. "Smart Revision Strategies | Writing Personal Statements Online". 2020. E- Education. Psu Edhttps:/www.e- education psu.edulwritingpersonalstatementsonline/p3_p7.html "Test Your Knowledge © Of — Subject-Verb Agreement". 2020. Thoughtoo. httos /www.thoughtco.com/review-exercises-in-subject-verb-agreement-1690354. https /www.bing.com/search?q=whal+ is +coherence%3F&form=EDGTCT&qs=PFacvid=al421cee0 dfd47ff9eb3ed375c89213a&refig=07bc5692be0748f19e61 7édde2tfaad3&cc=PHasetlang=en- Us&plvar=0&PC=DCTS, http: /www.montereysat, com/uploads/5/1/5/3/51535499/the_topic_sentence_and_paragraph_organ izationrev.pdf “d2tin8 VvoChYw:1593446120505atbm=isch&sourc Xv-2wBanjjdM%252C_&vet=18usg=Al4 - kS3JKzQe6x5iSwtaOKeENUeMkn2fg&sa=X&ved=2ah hitps://custom-writing org/blog/how-to-write-a-critique \Bictx=18fi=0a|_ NpkZYI_XeM%252CC https //slideplayer.com/slide/8553228/ -paragraph organization. 31