BEAUTIFUL INSECURITIES

On the cold spring evening of August 23 2006, I ‘Mitrashree Suresh’ took my first breath of air in
Singapore. The eldest daughter of Mr.Suresh and Mrs. Vaneshsri. I wake up one day and ask
myself who am I in this world,who will I become in the future. In this world full of mysterious
things, challenges or even our self sometimes is mysterious to us.
A very good morning to my dear teachers and fellow classmates. I stand before you.
Facing a different creation of God. In life, I had a lot of challenges. As I walked through my past,
some of them marked my present. Today I’m gonna talk about ‘beautiful insecures’.
Now, I know you’ll are wondering ‘What are insecurities?’
Feeling insecure can look like always trying to please others, frequently being hard on yourself,
believing that you’re not good enough, being ashamed of who you are and also constantly
comparing yourself to others. If you can relate to any of this, you might be feeling insecure, my
dear friends.

Let me walk you through my memories. When I stepped into Form 1, just like any other kid, I
was pretty much confident and made alot of friends. At first, my friends made jokes about my
appearance by saying

“Oh Mitra, you look prettier than yesterday”

“You hair don’t smell today”

I thought those were some nice compliments so I laughed them off. Those compliments were
getting over the top every day. I dismissed my irritation thinking that I was just being paranoid
and didn't want to jeopardise my relationship with them. Until one day, one of them actually
made a harsh comment saying that “ You’re ugly and your legs are huge. You should wear
makeup. I can’t look at you" and laughed it off. That was the moment I broke down. When I told
them that they were being rude, they called me sensitive and said that I couldn't take a joke.
Ever since this incident, I felt so insecure about myself that I started comparing myself to others.
As soon as I saw a person walking by, I started to think,

“ I want eyebrows like that girl ” “I want friends like that guy ” “ I want his popularity, looks ”,
“ I want her bravery, intelligence, happiness ”

I stopped wearing dresses and skirts. I wanted to hide my body. I felt disgusting looking at
myself. I started to isolate everyone thinking that I’m not enough. I hate myself for being born
ugly. I didn’t even want to look in the mirror. I couldn’t sleep, eat, or even study properly. All I
could think about was those people I saw at televisions and dramas.

Until one day, my friend unexpectedly confided in me about her feeling of insecurity. I was very
surprised at that time. Her body is ideal, she has soft skin, silky hair, pretty fingers, a fascinating
collarbone, captivating eyes, is as brave as a knight, and possesses great confidence. Why
would she feel insecure? There’s nothing wrong with her. Atleast, that’s what I thought. As she
expressed herself and her insecurities. My perspective changed. There’s nothing strange about
feeling insecure. It's a feeling and you can’t help but to feel it.

I made a very courageous decision and decided to talk with my classmates. Surprisingly, I was
happy that they understood what I felt. That day I learned that all of us have insecurities but the
main thing is that we should love ourselves no matter what. A wise person once said, “
Comparison is the thief of happiness. You’re so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look
to a stranger. Look within yourself and rise”. I am thankful to that person till today.
If someone confides in you and tells you their insecurities or that they feel ugly, please do them a favour and
hug them right away. You might not know how it can benefit them but trust me it does. Tell them they’re more
than enough cz honestly we’re imperfectly perfect.

Please don’t normalise jokes related to someone’s or our own physical appearance. They still
have boundaries, regardless of whether they are our friends, family or relatives. And still, as a
human being we also have feelings and emotions. So, pointing out people's insecurities,
especially those related to their physical appearance, and making fun of it, has no bearing on
how the person feels. They might be smiling and laughing off the joke but then deep down they
might feel self-conscious. Therefore, never ever normalise the jokes. If you have nothing nice to
say, then just don’t say anything. You don't specify them like “ You’re getting fat now ” , “Why
are you so skinny? ”, “Those breakouts are ugly? ” No! You don't have to point that out and if
anyone points that out to you just say ‘So what?’.

Remember this, the next time you tell me you feel insecure about your looks, you think you look
ugly, and you lack confidence because of what others say, I wish I could give you my eyes to
see how beautiful and amazing you are. Just imagine how much more mental space and energy
you would have if you stopped judging yourself harshly!

We spend so much time looking at other's lives. It’s kind of exhausting. My body has changed in so many
ways. Intentionally and unintentionally. There were times that I wanted to change it so desperately, that I hated
it. But deep down, it was never about my physical appearance. It was the desire to be loved, my need to be
wanted and the pressure to be seen. Once I began taking care of my mind, the way I viewed myself changed. I
‘ve learned my worth, how much I am loved and who I am with has nothing to do with the size or shape of my
body.

When you realise that you’re not that insecure selfish part that you’ve identified with for so long
but instead that you’re this self that’s curious, clear,courageous,joyful,generous and playful and
that your essence is connected to some kind of larger principle, you’ll find happiness. I'm still
insecure of myself but that doesn’t mean I hate myself. I love myself. It’s the simplest, the
quietest and the powerful revolution ever. In this process of being insecure, throughout with lots
of guidance I learned to accept myself and start to love myself more.

You should look in the mirror every morning after waking up and before going to bed and tell
yourself, "I'm beautiful today and I'm gonna slay no matter what. I love myself ”. This can boost
your inner love towards yourself and sooner you can walk with confidence just like me today.
Fall in love with taking care of yourself. Fall in love with becoming the best version of yourself
with patience, with compassion and respect for your own journey.

Just a quick reminder, being insecure is totally fine. Try falling in love with yourself first. Self love won't
happen overnight. Instead it’s a very long journey and a really long process. Allow yourself to learn each step
of the way and only by that you’ll ingrain self love. The same light you see in others is shining within you too.
You’re beautiful. Whether your skin colour, wherever you are, what body shape is, you’re beautiful in your
own way. Love yourself and be yourself confidently.