Module 7: Self-Awareness

Scope of Instruction: Basic Knowledge and Understanding on:

a. True Knowledge
b. Importance of Self-Awareness
c. Development of Emotional Competence

Number of Periods: 5 Hours

Methodology : Lecture, Discussion and Practical Exercise

References : NSTP Manual

Objectives : At the end of the period, the student will be able to;

1. Define Self-Awareness and Self-Concept.

2. Discuss the importance of the development of social self.
3. Deepen their understanding of emotional competence and its basic
elements.
4. Determine the relationship between emotional intelligence and
emotional competence.
5. Develop the self-valuing process.

Introduction:

The great philosopher Aristotle said that knowing and understanding one’s self is the key
to true knowledge.

What is true knowledge then?

It knows who you are, what you are in this earth for, where you are going, and how you
can get there. (Herrera, M.M., Coloma, T.M.)

Life will not be meaningful unless we know and understand what our reasons are for
being in this world.

Sometimes people are becoming irrational individuals. We are not aware of what we are,
we are not aware of what we have, we are not aware of the persons surrounding us, we are not
aware what are happening in this world, we are not aware of attitudes we have, we are not aware
of what kind of behaviors we have and we are not even aware, the persons that care for us.

It has been said that self-awareness is very important to an individual in knowing himself.
Webster’s medical dictionary defines self-awareness as an awareness of one’s own personality in
individuality. A definition from the American heritage dictionary, self-awareness is the
awareness of oneself, including one’s traits, feelings and behaviors. Stedman’s medical
dictionary states that self-awareness is the realization of oneself as individual entity or
personality.
Self-awareness offers sure rudder for keeping our career decision in harmony with our
deepest values, the less aware we are of what makes as passionate, the more lost we will be
(Daniel Goleman)

According to Tao Tzu, “knowing others is wisdom but knowing yourself is

enlightenment.”

Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self-awareness, you will
better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That
understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you would like
to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without fully knowing who you are, self-
acceptance and change become impossible.
 Having clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it) empowers you
to consciously and actively make those wants a reality. Otherwise, you will continue to get
“caught up” in your internal dramas and unknown beliefs, allowing unknown thought process to
determine your feelings and actions.

If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feel is
like going through your life with a stranger’s mind. How do you make wise decisions and
choices if you don’t understand why you want what you want? It’s a difficult and chaotic way to
live never knowing what this stranger is going to do next.

When we want good, solid information, we turn to the experts. So, whom are you going to
turn to for information about yourself? Who’s the expert? Does a friend, a therapist, your hero,
your spouse, your parents, know more about you than you? They can’t. You live in your skin and
mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year. Day in and day out. No one’s closer to
you than you.

Self-awareness includes recognition of our personality, our strengths and weaknesses, our
likes and dislikes. Developing self-awareness can help us to recognize when we are stressed or
under pressure. It is also often a prerequisite for effective communication and interpersonal
relations, as well as for developing empathy for others.

In our experience, self-awareness is the key that unlocks the riches of life. We have all the
answers we need to the questions of our lives right inside us. All we have to do is to learn how to
access our own wisdom, this begins with self-awareness. Paying attention to our many senses
thoughts feelings and intuition. Diving deep into our emotions to tap their sources. Seeing our
thinking and how it creates our reality. Discovering our deepest essence.

Activity 1 - A journey to a Good Life

Instructions:

A. On the activity page make a drawing that would show an Ideal Day in the life you would like
to have 5-10 years from now. Be as creative and imaginative as you can. Consider the
following questions in your drawing:

a. Who are you?

b. Where are you came from?

c. Whom do you live with?

d. How do you fell about your life?

B. Creatively/ artistically fill up the following circles using any coloring material and Pencil.

What
made me
aspire for
such life?

What kind What

of life do I steps will I
like to take to
have? achieve
that life?
Content:

From the journal of rehabilitation, does self-consciousness affect how a person thinks
or behave in different situations, Social scientist and psychologists have studied this question for
over a century and many have said, “Yes, it does.”

For instance, giving a presentation, interviewing for a job, and inviting someone on a
date are all common situations that will likely cause a person to feel more aware and sometimes
self-critical. After such an event, the person may feel quite negatively about his or her
appearance and performance. “was terrible!” “Now they will never hire me!” “I looked foolish!”

It has been exhaustively discussed among scholars that inherent to such self-
conscious events lies a “fulcrum” of awareness that balances a person directly between the
anxiety provoking experience of self as both object and subject.

One of the things in knowing yourself is being aware of who you are and what you
are to your community. You can improve your characteristics and personality to make your self
becom4e an asset to your family and the nation.

Your image of who you are is called self-concept. It is composed of feelings,

thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses, abilities and limitations. The self-concept develops from
three sources as presented by Chaun (2002): a) other’s images, b) social comparisons and; c)
interpretations and evaluations:

Other’s Images

How do significant others see me?

SELF - CONCEPT

Social comparisons interpretations/evaluations

IMPORTANCE OF SELF-AWARENESS

Understanding the way your self-concept develops increases your self-awareness.

The more you understand why you view yourself as you do, the better you will understand who
you are. One way to gain self-awareness is by using the Johari’s Window of the self as noted by
Chaulan, (2002).

There are four (4) selves that represent each human person:

Known to self Not known to self

Known to others
OPEN SELF BLIND SELF

Not known to others

HIDDEN SELF UNKNOWN SELF
  Open self- represents all the information, behaviors, attitudes, feelings, desires,
motivations, ideas, and so on, that you know about yourself and that others also
know about you.
 The Blind Self-represents information’s about your self that others know but you
do not know.
 The Unknown Self-represents those parts of yourself about which neither you nor
others know.
 Hidden Self-contains all that you know of yourself but keep hidden from others.

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE DEVELOPMENT OF SOCIAL SELF

The development of an individual usually began and molded in the family. The kind of
people around you and the environment where you grew contribute to what you become.

Generally the human infant is born helpless, ignorant and without a sense of self. The self-
arises in a proceeds of social interaction and social Activity. This starts from birth when parents
hold their baby and attend to his needs. Normally, the child becomes the center of love, warmth,
affection and care and he becomes egocentric or self-centered. If love and warmth are not
sufficiently given, emotional deprivation results (Perucci and Knudsen, 1983:150). The baby
learns that certain gestures like lying; smiling and reaching out will elicit responses from those
around him. He is, thus, initiated into learning the language as the group. He can feel the love
and warmth of the people around him as the other way around like negative or positive attitudes.

Within two years, the child develops a kind of crude self-awareness. Aiding him in
acquiring a sense of self is his being named and singled out from other persons (Lidesmith,
Strauss, Denzin, 1977:312). At an early age among the most significant socialization activities
are those that have to do with self. Through his contact with mother, father, brother, sister or the
yaya, he gradually sees himself as an object. In this relationship, the parents apply certain
cultural expectation or standards that the child has to internalize as he matures. He then discovers
that some of his demands are met while others are not. In the course of his more extensive and
complex social relations with his family, and later with his playmates, the child becomes more
aware of 6the points of view of other persons. He finds out that other points of view are often at
variance with his own and must be taken into account.

Children playfully imitate the roles of others like those of father, Mother, brother, sister,
teacher, and playmate. They play home (bahay-bahayan), school (eskwela-eskwelahan), or
selling and buying (tinda-tindahan), they develop the ability to see themselves from the points of
view of others. A child’s playing the rules of others is parallel in actual life to his interactions
with parents, relatives, playmates and schoolmates and gradually he adjusts his own behavior to
the expectations of others. Often, he identifies himself with persons who have been influential or
important in shaping his self-image. These are sometimes called “significant others”. They
become a sort of models of behaviour for the child. When the child has developed the ability to
grasp the rule and attitudes of other person and visualize himself through the eyes of others, he
has already acquired a social self.

This what Cooley (1952) calls the “looking glass self”. Cooley wrote: As we see…our
face, figure and dress in the glass, and are interested in them because they are ours, and pleased
otherwise with them according as they do or do not answer to what we should like them to be.
So, in imagination we perceive in another’s mind some thoughts of our appearance, manners,
aims, deeds, character, friends, and so on, and are variously affected by it (1922:184)

THREE ELEMENTS THAT ARE INVOLVED IN THIS LOOKING GLASS SELF:

1. Our imagination of our own appearance to the other person.

2. Our imagination of his judgment of that appearance.

3. Some sort of self-feeling such as pride or mortification.

 This means that things one see, experience and perceive affect the social development of
his being an individual.

The self emerges in the processes of socialization as a result of social experiences along
with other social processes, development of self-preferences, and an awareness of rule-playing
(Kuhn and Mc-Partland, 1954:68-76).

George Herbert Mead (1934) contributed notably to the theory of symbolic interaction
with regard to the development of the self. Mead said that in learning language, particularly
grammar, children are socializing in accordance with the cultural expectations of the group. The
self-first emerges in the process of socialization. At the initial stage the child is selfish and self-
centered. There is the random imitation of parents. Later, the child is able to see himself from the
standpoint of others. The completing stage is the time when the child is able to respond to a
number of individuals in the group and able to integrate the various rules or set of norms in the
group. This is what Mead (1934:151-152) the child takes the related roles of all the others
members in social situation. He is thus; enable to have a view of the organized opinions and
attitudes of all the others, which subsequently regulate his behavior. He is thus, unable to
understand his positioning to the group in relation to the other members and the values and
attitudes they hold. This process could help him mold the positive role he may encounter in life.

Role taking, identification and internalization continue as the child extends the range of his
social relations. He fulfils his role as playmate, schoolmate, church member, friend, and
employee and so on, and in all these hi is obliged to respond in accordance with the group
expectation. In the process, he learns new norms, new patterns of behaviors and skills, and the
new values. By responding correctly he is rewarded or praised. His behavior is modified so that
he is slightly different person with each successive role fulfillment. Role playing is present in all
social relations and this continues up to the old age, one(Bensman and Rosenberg, 1970:149-
150) Even with retirement and old age, one has to learn the role being old. Knowing these
characteristic and attitude can help students direct their behavior into positive way,

THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE

Emotional competence in the workplace spells the difference between the outstanding
performers and the poor or mediocre performers. Emotional competence builds on emotional
intelligence. Cooper and Sawaf (1997) define emotional intelligence as the ability to recognize
and use these3 as source of human energy, information, connection and influence.

FIVE BASIC ELEMENTS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (Goleman, 1998)

1. Self-awareness-knowing what are the feelings at the moment and using those preferences
to guide our decision-making, having a realistic assessment of our own abilities, and a
well-grounded sense of confidence?

2. Self-regulation. Handling our emotions so that they facilitate, rather than interfere, with
the task on hand, being conscious and delaying gratification to pursue goals, recovering
well from emotional distress.

3. Motivation. Using our deepest preferences to move, guide us toward our goals, to help us
take initiative and strive to improve, and to preserver in the face of setbacks and
frustrations.

4. Empathy. Sensing what people are feeling, being able to take their perspectives and
cultivating rapport and attunement with a broad diversity of people.

5. Social Skills. Handling emotions well in relationship and accurately reading social
situations and networks, interacting smoothly, using these skills to persuade and lead,
negotiate disputes for cooperation and teamwork.
 Goleman points out that our emotional intelligence determines our potential learning the
practical skills. To excel in the workplace, a person has to develop emotional competencies.
Emotional competence is a learned capability based on emotional intelligence that results in
outstanding performance at work. Emotional competence shows how much of that potential we
have translated in to day-to-day activities and on-the-job capabilities. For instance, being good at
serving customers is an emotional competence based on self-regulation, or handling impulses
and emotions well. Both customer service and trustworthiness are competencies that can make
people outstanding in their work.

In knowing oneself, there is a prerequisite of honesty and courage; some people are not
prepared to face the truth about them. For example, a student may use his perceived self-image
as a fun-loving person as an excuse for doing poorly in his school grades. In reality, he is
procrastinator, put off doing his homework or studying for the exams till the last minute.

When you know who you are, you may have to change and some people just do not want
change because changing demands effort. Self-awareness requires honesty and courage to get in
touch with what we are thinking and feeling and to face the truth about ourselves

There are benefits of self-awareness, the better you understand yourself, the better you
are able to accept or change who you are. Being in the dark about your self means that you will
continue to get caught up in your own internal struggles and allowed outside forces to mold and
shape you. As move toward the 21st century, the knowledge base economy demands that we
upgrade our knowledge and skills to keep up the ever-changing society However, the starting
points should be the knowledge of oneself as a unique individual and how one r elates to this
new economy. The clarity with which you can answer these questions: Who am I? Where have I
been? Where am I going? Determines your capability to chart your own destiny and realize
you’re potential.

In realistic view about self-awareness, do not think of yourself more highly than you
should. In other words, no superiority attitude. Rather have a sober view of your strengths. On
the other hand, do not exaggerate your weaknesses and look down your self. Also, do not excuse
or rationalize your weaknesses. We need a realistic view of both our strengths and weaknesses if
we are to know our true selves. How we see our selves may be clouded by the feedback
messages we received about ourselves from others… But how could anyone know more about
you than you? Do not feel your emotions or think your thoughts; they do not face the issues that
you wrestled with. No one could know you better than you! Therefore do not let others look
down on you?

Some people may not be prepared to face the truth about them. This may be true.
Therefore, everyone must be prepared to listen to others, especially significant others. Allow
them re-examine your own perceived self-image. There are no perfect people and there are no
perfect parents. Nevertheless, from a practical viewpoint, our parents who gave birth to us have
the opportunity to observe us at close quarters over many years, would have a clearer insight of
our character than anybody else. You don’t have to accept their views but at least listen to them.

Activity 2

1. Using the activity sheet, complete the statements that start with I am…. . in 10 different
simple answers.

2. Ask for volunteers to share their most answers.

3. Let them focus on the question: “Do I have the freedom to change myself?
 Activity 3

SELF AWARENESS QUESTIONS IN IDENTIFYING OWN SELF

(Use the activity sheet for your answers)

1. What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?

2. How do your friends describe you? Do you agree with their descriptions? Why or why
not?

3. What specific elements were present when you felt that way?

4. How can I be a better person?

5. What of my personal and unique gifts have taken for granted?