WELCOME TO NIGERIA WITH CALABARPIKIN

SCENE 1.

EXT............................................................ AIRPORT............................................................... DAY

Characters: CALABARPIKIN, STELLA AND JOE

Xtras:

CAM:OPENS ON CALABARPIKIN AND HIS WIFE STELLA, AT THE AIRPORT WAITING FOR JOE
AS PREGNANT STELLA COMES IN

STELLA. (LOOKING ROUND AS SHE COMES IN) Hello baby ... I am done standing and
waiting for a ghost, that is appearing... Him no dey watch Nigerian film?? I am tired... Don't you
know that l am pregnant??? 7months at that...

CALABARPIKIN.

(CUT IN) Baby please Focus on me... Okon Lagos my senior brother, will not be happy that l
return home without this half card... (HELD HER) How can you be pregnant with my baby boy
and you want to see person wey dey disappear and appear... Noooo... My child can not behave
like Nigerian economy... Get small patient...

STELLA.

(ANGRILY) Patient Oz or which one? We have been here for more than hours now... Okay... Your
brother and your baby, which one is important... (WITH REACTION) Choose one now or forever
stay on your own...

CALABARPIKIN.

(LOOKING AT HER) Baby... You are not Focusing on me... Don't make me look like a Lawless
Government... See... You, my baby and even this minus one, wey dey return like this, are like
Nigerian president chair to me... Very important to me... We Move No Be 4 Everybody... (JUST
THEN CAM REVEAL JOE ALIGHTING THEM WITH HIS LOAD AS HE RUSH AND HUG
CALABARPIKIN AS HE COMES IN)

JOE.

(WITH REACTION) Come on Calabarpikin... (HELD HIM) Sorry bro... Is she your wife?

CALABARPIKIN.

(ANGRILY CUT IN) Thank God say your brain don come back like Nigerian Nepa light... I for
show you say l follow add money for your school fee... Your problem be say you no dey Focus
on me...
 JOE

(CUT IN) Is she your wife?

CALABARPIKIN

. NOoooo... Me and Solomon don dey drag Marriage Genesis book of record... She is one of my
girlfriends... Your problem is Focus... I no dey smile Oooo... (JUST THEN JOE RUSH AND HUG
STELLA AS HE HUG CALABARPIKIN, JUST THEN STELLA COMES IN)

STELLA.

(CUT IN ANGRILY WITH REACTION) Honey come close to me... (SHE RUSH HIM WITH
BEATING AS SHE COMES IN) I told you that l am tired of standing here... I am 7montbs
pregnant.... Take out of here or l will beat you again...

JOE.

(LOOKING AT THEM AS HE COMES IN) I see Nigerian Marriage in this... 7months and you are
already beating hell out of him... Bro... You are in for it... Let's go...

CALABARPIKIN

. Thank God you are Focusing now... If not because Bro Okon Lagos... I for change am for
you now... Na you cause this beating... Now Let's Move.... ( CAM ON THEM ENTERING THE CAR
AS THEY DRIVE OFF, CAM MOVE TO REVEAL SOME SHOOTS AS IT MOVES TO PAM ON
WELCOME TO ABUJA, JUST THEN THEIR CAR STOPS AS JOE RUSH OUT LOOKING AT THE
WELCOME TO ABUJA, HE DANCE ROUND IT AS CALABARPIKIN AND STELLA ALIGHT THE CAR
LOOKING AT HIM

JOE.

(WITH SMILES) Bro l love Nigeria... Welcome back home... I am happy to be back...

STELLA

(WITH SURPRISE REACTION) Wait... Did we just stop here? Is your brother okay??? I am
pregnant for God sake... Is he okay???

CALABARPIKIN.

(COMES IN SLOWLY) Yes or No, which one l go talk self... When e call and tell me that him
dey come back, He was okay but now like this... I can not tell... Baby our whether can change
person mental health... This one no be family problem... (HELD JOE) Young Man Learn to Focus
on me... You wan make l collect slap? Let's Move now...

JOE
 . I got you bro... Let's go... (RUNNING ROUND IT AS HE SPEAKS) I Love Nigeria... (JUST
THEN CAM TILTS TO THE TOP OF THE WELCOME TO ABUJA AS IT MOVES TO A STREET,
WHERE IT REVEAL JOE WAITING DOWN THE STREET AS MUSA BLOCK HIM AND COMES IN AS
HE TRYS TO COLLECT HIS DRIVE

MUSA

. (OPENING EYES FOR JOE) Wetin dey run you... If you don't give me that drive, l will call
out my boy's and e no go funny for me... (HE REFUSE AS MUSA RUSH HIM, JUST THEN JOE
COMES IN SLOWLY)

JOE.

(SLOWLY AS HE LOOKS AT HIM) Oga wetin dey work you now... Oooo bcos l just come
back from Library... You dey count me put inside JJC abi? (CAM ON HIM SPEAKING SERIOUS
IGBO AS MUSA CUT IN)

MUSA.

You na WhatsApp guy you be.... I been wan run you street but you na area man... Welcome
to Nigeria.... (CAM ON THEM LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AS THEY SHAKE HANDS)

CAM FADES ON