Essay

If I were to describe myself, I am a self-demanding and highly organised person. It means

that I always set goals to achieve, exhaust myself for great results, and prioritise study time over
entertainment. It may seem from my self-description that I do not have any social life, yet this is
not completely true. I am extremely sociable, free of judgement, and an easy-going person. In
such a way, I truly enjoy spending time with my friends. It turns out that I do not have a bunch of
friends that young people have at my age, yet the friendship that I have with a few friends of
mine is extremely warm and full of trust and support. Nevertheless, I dedicate not too much time
to my social life since my focus is on studying and self-development. My addiction to studying
takes roots in my parents. My parents made me attend a number of various extracurricular
classes, sports, and art clubs. They scheduled my day and taught me the importance of self-
discipline. My timetable at school was extremely busy, and sometimes I felt that I did not have
time to process my childhood. My parents did not allow me to do things that normal kids were
doing: kids played computer games, watched cartoons, spent the whole evening in the
playground until their parents called them home for dinner, and the most important thing is that
kids around me were not as pressed with their performance at school as I was. Over my
childhood and teenage years, I have been growing and wondering what the reason is behind my
parents attitude towards me. I havequestioned myself about why they cannot be like other
parents who give their kids space and freedom. I used to have a lot of fights with parents on the
topic of their parenting style. I used to accuse them of being cruel, egoistic, and heartless. I got
older and talked to my parents again about their attitude, and they tried to explain to me that
education is one of the most important things in life, and they wanted to give me the best
possible upbringing in terms of education so I could be the most successful person that I could
have ever become. Indeed, my parents did the best for me and I realized that when it was time to
do the state exams and apply to university. The fact that my parents kept me busy with
extracurricular classes helped me pass all exams without any issues compared to my classmates,
who have never been forced or encouraged by their parents to study. I have been admitted to the
university that I always wanted to go to.
I can say that I am extremely grateful for everything that my parents did for me.
However, their style of parenting left a huge mark on me as a person. I studied various styles of
parenting; the main ones are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved parenting
styles. I have always believed that my parents were authoritarian since they made me do things
that I did not really want, and I felt like my parents were my main source of authority. I was
wrong; authoritarian style presupposes that parents are always right and kids are supposed to do
whatever the parents say. This style of parenting does not presuppose negotiation (LCSW, 2022).
This style of parenting does give kids the possibility of solving issues on their own. On top of
that, authoritarian parenting involves punishment, which can be physical or emotional (Lcsw,
2022). Kids raised with authoritarian parenting are commonly shy, apprehensive, and anxious. I
cannot describe myself with any of these adjectives. Therefore, I now understand that my parents
were not authoritarian since they discussed my issues, let me learn from my mistakes, and
negotiated with me. My parents exercised an authoritative parenting style. This style presupposes
the maintenance of a positive relationship with the child, explaining the reasons behind rules. It
is also about setting limits and enforcing rules while taking into consideration the emotional
health of the child. On the basis of the description given by Amy Morin of authoritarian
parenting, I can say this is what my parents’ exercises were while raising me. In such a way, my
parents acknowledge and affirm my emotional experiences while also asserting their authority as
the primary decision-makers. I have found out that this strategy is supported by empirical
research and endorsed by professionals as the most conducive to healthy child development and
good parenting (Bi et al., 2018). This style has a significant impact on me as a person. It made
me mature, responsible, dedicated, and organized. However, there are also drawbacks to this
parenting style: I became overly demanding of myself, I did not get enough rest, and I got
extremely sad when I could not reach my goal.
The accomplishment of this exercise made me better understand myself and the influence
parents have on their kids. I realised that I was raised in a healthy environment where my parents
tried their best for me. The most important thing that I learned is that not everything is as it
seems. I saw stickiness and cruelty in my parents, while it was the greatest care they gave me. I
also understood that I should not be overly demanding of myself, spend more time with my
friends, and do things that I love. In such a way, the essay helped me reflect on myself and my
parents, discuss my childhood, and at the same time learn about various parenting styles.
 References

Lcsw, A. M. (2022). The 4 types of parenting styles and how kids are affected. Verywell

Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045

Bi, X., Yang, Y., Li, H., Wang, M., Zhang, W., & Deater-Deckard, K. (2018). Parenting Styles

and Parent–Adolescent Relationships: The mediating roles of behavioral autonomy and

Parental Authority. Frontiers in Psychology, 9. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02187