75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

Preface

Throughout your life, you are bound to meet people in many situations.
The ability to deal with them effectively largely determines your quality of
life. Good social skills are cheat codes for getting your job, scaling a
business, getting your girl, making good friends, selling your product and
whatnot. The importance of social skills in developing all realms of
human life is my primary motivation for writing this book.

I was a shy kid and had poor social skills. After losing many
opportunities, I decided to change my situation and started working on
my people skills. After spending over four years researching social skills
and talking to people, I learned the elements essential for
communicating and connecting with others. I aim to share all these with
you through this book.

The book contains seventy-five tips on social skills. These tips cover
various skills such as charisma, persuasion, flirting, connecting with
others, building genuine connections, commanding respect, resisting
manipulation, emotional intelligence, etc.

You can use this book as a to-do list. Mark the tips when you use them.
It will ensure you take action and use these tips well. If you want to
develop your skills truly, you need to put in the effort and practice these.
I have kept the tips concise. Let me know if you need any clarification
about the tips (Contact info on the last page).

Let's get straight into the tips.

2
 The Social Code

75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

1. Be genuinely interested in the other person and talk more

about them in conversations. People are most interested in
hearing about themselves. Make them the focus of your
conversations.

2. Avoid multitasking while talking to someone, and listen

actively. Don’t play with keys or pens, etc. Don’t wander in
thoughts. Give complete attention.

3. Develop self-esteem to get over shyness and social anxiety.

Shyness and social anxiety are due to fear of negative judgments
from others. It means you will not do what you want without other’s
approval. This is due to a lack of self-esteem. Fix it.

4. Never be too direct in rejecting other’s opinions. Acknowledge

their opinion by saying, “I see what you are trying to mean, but in
my opinion __.”

5. Never miss the chance to give a genuine compliment. Humans

crave validation and appreciation to feel important and valued. You
can quench their craving and win their hearts by complimenting
them at the right time.

6. Make women feel emotions, and you will connect to them. Talk
about her interests, dreams, experiences and motivations. Make
her laugh, tease her, express your personality boldly, and disagree
when you want to.

7. Do not tolerate disrespect. Do not ignore it. Do not be

aggressive about it. Be clear and communicate that you don’t
appreciate their behaviour. Avoid and cut off the relationship if they
don’t change their behaviour.

3
 75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

8. People tend to act in ways consistent with their previous

commitments, statements or actions. Use this in persuasion by
first committing people to minor requests that align with their
values. After that, you can make larger requests, and they will be
more likely to agree because disagreeing will create an internal
conflict in their beliefs.

9. Never make presumptions about people’s feelings and

moods. Humans tend to use minimum cognitive resources while
forming judgments about the attitudes and feelings of others.
Therefore, they tend to use preconceived notions to judge
someone. Assume you know nothing about them, and you will be
able to interpret them more accurately.

10. Use mirroring to build rapport. Adopt the same body language
and voice tone as the other person. Do it subtly so you don’t
appear to be mimicking the other person.

11. Talk to strangers. You can only get better at talking to people if
you speak to many people. Talk to people in the gym, public
transport, co-workers, etc.

12. Avoid self-deprecating humour. If you make fun of yourself,

expecting others to do the same is natural. Respect yourself.

13. Make eye contact with others in conversations. It shows

interest and respect for what the other person is saying. It is also
essential to building trust.

14. Give a genuine smile when you see people to make an

excellent first impression.

15. Fix your posture and make yourself instantly attractive. Stand tall,
shoulders back, back straight and keep your head up to look ready
to inspire others.

4
 The Social Code

16. Use hand gestures while talking to animate your ideas and
make you look charismatic and confident. (A Good Resource)

17. Don’t talk too much with no value. People talking shit are
ignored. People whose words are valuable are heard and
respected.

18. Don’t allow people to manipulate you by putting a label on

you. They will call you “generous and helping” and then ask things
from you. They can even use these labels to shame you for not
doing something.

19. People are more likely to be persuaded by those perceived as

experts or authority figures in their domain. You can better
persuade people by positioning yourself as an expert or authority
figure by showing necessary information.

20. Put yourself in their shoes while persuading. People don’t care
about you. They only care about themselves. Think from their
perspective to tell them what’s in it for them.

21. Avoid interrupting and telling your related stories and

achievements while listening to others. Listen to their
accomplishments and stories first, and then you can add yours.
People have a habit of not taking any interest and telling them their
side of the story just after they finish.

22. Avoid making fun of others to appear humorous. While some

bro roast is healthy for relations, overdoing it can make others hate
you.

23. Be a good storyteller. Encounter new experiences every week.

Go on trips, participate in a hobby club, attend a seminar you don’t
usually do. More experiences mean more stories to tell. Keep
some ready-to-tell stories with you.

5
 75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

24. Insert silences instead of the verbal clutter (uh, uhm, etc.)
Silences will help you recollect yourself and organise your
thoughts. It also allows others to follow you better.

25. Be light-hearted. It is an essential component of humour. You

can’t make others laugh if you are feeling miserable.

26. Research HR, the company, and people before meeting them.
It will also help you maintain flowing and engaging conversations
with them. It shows that you are interested in the other person or
company and works like magic.

27. Express your personality authentically and confidently to

make genuine connections. If you truly want someone to love
you, show them who you are. Let them decide if you are the
perfect match. People who love a fake version of you will leave
you because you cannot always fake yourself.

28. Give before you take. Before asking for favours, do something for
them. Before expecting respect from them, give basic respect to
them. Use reciprocity to your advantage.

29. Know what you are talking about to speak fluently and
coherently.

30. Use social proof to persuade people. People tend to look at

other’s behaviour to determine the correct thing to do. Show how
others agree with your point and how many agree with you by
showing testimonials, statistics, etc.

31. Don’t be too stressed thinking about what to say next. If you
are too overwhelmed, you will lose the context of conversations. It
is essential to ask follow-up questions to keep the conversation
flowing.

32. Never hang out around idiots or complaining people. Respect

your time and attention.

6
 The Social Code

33. Roast your friends back if you are the most roasted one in the
group. When it is too safe to mock you, everyone will do it. Notice
how the best roaster is roasted less in the group. Why? People
don’t feel safe in roasting them.

34. Give more emphasis to the common elements in the initial

stages of conversation to build rapport. Later, you can express
your differences to show authenticity and build trust.

35. Organise thoughts using the STAR method. It is essential in

answering behavioural questions asked in interviews like, “Tell me
about the time you showed leadership?”—structure answers in the
format of Situation, Task, Action and Result.

36. Control your emotions to resist manipulation. Manipulators can

easily make you feel guilty or happy about something to alter your
actions. But not if you can control your emotions and think clearly.

37. Avoid gossiping. People share gossip more than they share
compliments about someone. You are prone to lose trust and
reputation after gossiping. People will eventually share less
information with you in the workplace, hindering your career
growth.

38. Repeat the last few words they just spoke to make them
elaborate on their answers. An obvious alternative to this is
asking them to elaborate. It is easier to carry on the conversations
with elaborative answers from the other person.

39. Speak in terms of the other person’s interest. Think about what
they love to do and what they might want to hear about.

40. Calm their rage by letting them talk. You cannot gain their
attention if they have much more to say. Don’t tell your
clarifications and solutions before hearing them completely.

7
 75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

41. Be self-aware of your emotions to control them better. Most

people act under certain emotions without knowing it. If you know
you are too angry, you can calm yourself down by not doing things
you usually do in an angry mood.

42. Stand up for yourself. Say no when you want to. Disagree
when you want to. Do it respectfully after acknowledging the other
person’s opinion. Do it firmly.

43. Keep in mind what you want to flirt sexily. When you flirt with
women, remember why you are talking and what you want from
this interaction. You are flirting because you want her to be
romantically interested in you. It will ultimately change the way you
sound and interact with women.

44. Stop speaking through your nose. Watch this video. Practice
deep breathing (The stomach moves significantly while deep
breathing and not the chest) to add more power to your voice.

45. Develop the habit of learning the names of people. When you
try to memorise their name and say it back while addressing them,
you convey interest in them and make connections. Always clarify
if you are pronouncing their name right if it is non-trivial.

46. Learn to answer and not reveal the details with women. Learn
to be vague and mysterious. You can avoid using this if you find it
hard to maintain conversations. Otherwise, it is a great way to
keep them guessing and build interest, especially with girls.

47. Respect yourself and get respected for it. If you can’t respect
yourself, no one will.

48. Learn to read when people dislike what you are saying. Some
signals are torso and feet turning away from you while you are still
engaged, sudden squinting of eyes, and pursing of the lips.

49. Avoid answering in one word to have long conversations.

Even when they ask where you live, tell some engaging facts

8
 The Social Code

about your city and city name. The other person can now pick up
on these and continue the conversation.

50. Always remember something about them from the previous

conversations. When you meet them for the next time, ask
them about it. It is a natural outcome of taking an interest in
others. It shows you are interested in them and want to connect.

51. Observe others if they use a specific phrase or have a

characteristic way of joking. Use the same style sometimes
with them. It is essential for rapport and conveying that you share
their interests and attitudes.

52. Ask people about what they love the most and remember it.
Use it later as a button to engage them in conversations.

53. Review your conversations and check if you could have done
something better. Improve the mistakes next time.

54. Never depend on only one person. You will degrade your social
skills. You never know when things will go wrong, and you will lose
your loved one. Care to have someone to lead you through that
phase.

55. Speak with more volume and pauses to indicate authority,

credibility and confidence. People who speak at low volumes are
often interrupted and not heard.

56. You can never have many good friends. You can only have a
few good friends by giving them more attention and time than
others. Few good friends are better than many fake friends.

57. Avoid self-sabotaging yourself. Don’t do things you regret. Do

things which make you feel good about yourself. It will help
you develop self-esteem, essential to social comfort, assertiveness
and other skills.

58. Prefer face-to-face meetings over calls and calls over chats
whenever possible.

9
 75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

59. Avoid a sweaty handshake. Keep a handkerchief with you. It is

essential in the workplace when you are in a position of authority.

60. Mutual understanding is the key to long-lasting relationships.

Don’t take anything for granted. Avoid making assumptions.
Discuss everything you feel wrong about. Compounded
misunderstandings are enough to break bonds.

61. Avoid discussing your errors and unpleasant experiences

with everyone. You can share it with some people, but don’t tell
everyone. You do it for sympathy, but others will use it to
disrespect you.

62. Do not share the secrets of others. It makes you an

untrustworthy person. Similarly, never trust a person who shares
other’s secrets with you.

63. Dig deeper into their answers by asking them follow-up

questions aimed at knowing more about the person. For
example, If they tell you they work in an office, ask about the work
culture, company perks, and work environment there.

64. Use authenticity and vulnerability to build rapport, trust and

reliability. Be honest and share genuine experiences rather than
just the stories where you performed the best.

65. Understand that only some people are interested in talking to

you. If they give you short replies, seem uninterested, trust your
instincts and end the conversation gracefully.

66. Don’t appear too pushing while convincing someone,

especially if you are trying to sell. People prefer to be in control. If
you try to take this control, you will lose.
67. Say less when you are angry in a conversation. Relax and
gather your thoughts. You won’t lose control of the situation,
preventing you from saying something regretful.

10
 The Social Code

68. Use Reciprocity to persuade. When we do something for

someone, they feel obliged to do something in return. You can
offer them something before persuading or imply what they will get
after agreeing with you.

69. People are more likely to be persuaded by someone they like,

trust and know. Build rapport and connections, and befriend
before persuading someone.

70. People desire things that are perceived as rare or scarce. You
can use it to persuade people. You can create a sense of urgency
by telling them that your request is exclusive to some people only
for a limited time.

71. Repeat a few words of what someone says or summarise in

your way to get a clear understanding of the other person,
show empathy and build connections.

72. Apologise only when it is necessary. Don’t do it to make

someone feel good. Don’t do it for other’s approval. Do it because
you didn’t live by your values. Do it because you made a mistake.
Avoid ruining your charisma.

73. There is no humility in not accepting a compliment. You

become humble by accepting the praise and remaining the
same as before.

74. Frame your orders like questions to foster cooperation and

avoid stepping on other’s egos. Instead, give people the space
to choose. Although, due to your authority, they will comply with
you. But reframing your order helps you to foster cooperation by
not stepping on their egos.

75. Get Rich, Fit and Work on Skills. People who are better than
others are treated respectfully and need fewer social skills.

11
 75 Tips For Mastering Social Skills

The End Note

I encourage you to apply these key takeaways in your life. To simplify the
process, you can master one at a time and then move to the other. It will
take time to hone your skills, but it will be completely worth your time and
effort.

If you want to reach out, give feedback for the book, or see content on
other platforms, use these links - Instagram, Email, YouTube, Newsletter
and X.

Thank you.

12