DEVDAS

Beautiful and heedless, the youth Devdas attracts the love and compassion of both Parvati and
Chandramookhi. In his entitlement, he almost destroys those who love him.

The Vaisnovis exchanged glances, then one spoke.

“We cannot sing without alms, child, but if you wish we will come to your
house and sing for your family.”
“I want you to sing for me now, and I have alms. See.”
and Paru showed them a piece of silver. Yesterday, while they were fishing,
Devdas had given Paru three rupees to keep safe for him. She had tied them
in a not in her scarf;
“Is that your money, child?”
“It’s Devda’s.”
“And will he not punish you for giving it away?”
Paru shook her head firmly. “No, he will not.”
Then the three intertwined their voices and beat time with their cymbals,
and sang songs of love and devotion. Paru could not understand most of the
words, but the harmony caught her heart and lifted it up and away. When
they finally stopped, Paru gave them all the money in her scarf, three silver
rupees. They were amazed and overjoyed at this largesse.
“Do you mean to give us so much, mother?”
“Yes, I have three coins, and there are three of you, so it comes out just
right, see?”
Blessing her heartily, the three Vaishnovis continued on their way.

“Devda! Are you going away? To Calcutta?”

“Who says?”
“Your dad. Uncle Narayan.”
“Nonsense. I’m shan’t go.”
“And if they make you go?”
“What nonsense. They can’t.”
Parvati was delighted. Seizing her playmate by the hand, she shouted
merrily,
“Don’t you ever go, Devda!”
“Never! No one can make me.”
Alas for childish promises!
Summer vacation arrived, and Devdas came home for the holidays. As
soon as he could,
he ran to Parvati’s house. He had so much to say and Parvati so little. He
talked and talked about Calcutta. What could Parvati say? Nothing much
had changed for her. Too soon the summer holidays came to an end, and it
was time for Devdas to return to Calcutta. This time too, he protested, but
not as much.

“Where’s Paru, Auntie?”

“In her room.”
Going up to her room, Devdas found Paru lighting the evening lamps. He
called,
“What are you doing Paru?”
Startled, Paru did not reply at first, then she greeted him and stood back.
For some reason that he did not understand, Devdas felt embarrassed before
his playmate.
“I’m sort of tired today, Paru. I think I’ll go home now.”
and he left.
But Devdas ? Did he feel as Parvati did ? No, I’m afraid he did not. In
childhood, he had been her playmate and master, but during the years in
Calcutta, studies, amusements, distractions had absorbed him. He did not
realize that Parvati , in her simple, undistracted life, thought constantly of
him. Thought of him throughout her childhood, and now, taking cautious
steps into womanhood, faltered, found that all she had taken for granted –
life’s enduring friendships – dissolving before her.
How would a friendship such as theirs endure all through life? not without
marriage.
At night, Parvati could see the lamplight in Devdas’ room, the windows
open to the summer breeze. Parvati had always been proud. She could not
bear that others would see how much she was hurt by his distant behavior.
She did not want sympathy. Worse, what if she got a scolding? How
humiliating, no, she would rather die.
Monoroma asked, “Well, what will you say ? Marry me, give me a place by
your side ?”
“That’s just what I’ll say.”
“And, - if he doesn’t agree ?”
On her way home, Monoroma thought, ‘What couraage! Bless her brave
heart! If my life depended on it, I couldn’t bring myself to ask such a
thing.”
Parvati was right – the wedding band was wasted on Monoroma, she knew
nothing of marriage.

“Paru ! is it you ?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
Devdas looked up at the clock, and his disbelief grew.
“So late in the night ?”
Parvati did not reply. She sat silently with lowered eyes.
Devdas asked again,”Did you come alone, so late in the night ?”
Parvati said “Yes.”
Now Devdas jumped up “Why ? and weren’t you afraid ?”
Parvati smiled, “I have never been afraid of ghosts.”
“Maybe you’re not afraid of ghosts! But what about people ?”
Parvati said nothing, but she thought, “At this point of time, I don’t even
fear people.”
“How did you get in ? Did anyone see you ?”
“The gate-keeper saw me.”
“He saw you! And who else ?”
“The servants sleeping outside may have noticed me.”
Devdas leapt up from the bed , ran to the door and locked it.
“Did anyone recognize you ?”
“They all know me. It’s possible someone did recognize me.”
Devdas stuttered, “You don’t say! How could you do this, Paru ?”
Parvati thouhjt to herself, “How can I make you understand ?”, yet she
remained silent, eyes lowered.
Devdas continued, “It’s past midnight ! How will I show my face in the
morning ?”
Parvati replied, “I have courage enough.”
Devdas did not get angry, but he showed signs of extreme agitation.
“You are still so childish! Coming here like this – didn’t you feel any
twinge of shame ?”
Parvati shook her head.
“And tomorrow ? Will you be so brave then ?”
At this, Parvati looked up beseechingly at Devdas.
“Tomorrow ? Yes indeed. I would not have come if I hadn’t been sure of
one thng, - that you would remove all shame for me.”
“I! And what of my shame ?”
“You are a man. Peoplewill forget. In a few days no one will remember
how poor, feckless Parvati came to you in the middle of the night, careless
of her reputation, to ask you for a place by your side.”
“Paru !”
“And I …” she paused.
As if spellbound, Devdas echoed “And you ?”
“I am not dishonored! There is no dishonor in this for me. If people say
ugly things about me, that kind of talk will simply wash away !”
“What’s this, Paru ? You’re crying !”
“Devda ! There’s so much water in the river ! Isn’t there enough there to
cover my shame ?”
Devdas bent low and gripped her hands, “Parvati!”
In a choking voice Parvati whispered, “Give me a place by your side,
Devda!”
Then both were silent.
Much later Devdas raised Parvati’s face to his, and asked,
“Paru, will no one else do for you but me ?”
Parvati said nothing. The only sound in the room was the ticking of the
clock and her breath, harsh and sobbing. Just then, the clock struck two.
“Paru !”
“Yes ?”
“You know my parents don’t want this marriage ?”
“So I heard . “
“Then why ?”
Parvati held on to Devdas as though she was drowning.
“I don’t want to know anything, Devda!”
“Paru, should we disregard our parents ?”
“Why not ? Yes.”
“And where will you stay ?”
“With you.”
Again the two were silent. The clock struck four, reminding them that the
summer dawn would soon lighten the sky.
Taking Parvati by the hand, Devdas said “I will take you home.”
“You will come with me ?”
“Why not ? There may be some hope yet.”
“Then let’s go.”
Silently the two proceeded outside.

“Parvati, you are my life, I cannot bear to give you up to another!”

But a few days later, Parvati received a letter, a terrible letter,

“Parvati, I have been thinking about you constantly for the past few days.
My parents disapprove of our match. If I make you happy, I will make
them unhappy. I can’t do that, I can’t go against them. I do not know when
I will write to you next, so I will try to explain as clearly and fully as I can –
your station in life is low. Your family buys and sells their brides and
daughters, you are my neighbor, which my mother considers unlucky. My
father – well, you know all that - . It hurts me dreadfully to remember that
night, I know how proud you are, how wounded you will feel, how much
pain this must cause you, yes, I know all this.
Another thing – I have always been fond of you, you’re my friend from
childhood, but I don’t believe I’ve ever been ‘in love’ with you, I have
never loved you in the way a man may love a woman. Even now, I’m not
desolated by your absence, my only sorrow is that I have caused you
sorrow. Try , try to forget me.
With heartfelt wishes for your happiness,
I remain your friend, Devdas.”

After the midday meal, Parvati used to go out to fetch water from the well,
carrying the large water pitcher on her hip. Today, she saw Devdas, sitting
under the plum tree, with a fishing rod dangling in the river, not too far
from the well. Her first impulse was to turn back and run home, her second
was to get the water as quietly as possible and slip away, but she could do
neither. She froze, her pitcher began to slide from the hand, and she had to
set it down hurriedly. At the noise, Devdas looked up and beckoned, “Paru,
come here.”
Slowly, Parvati moved toward him. Briefly, he looked at her, then gazed at
the river. Finally, Parvati spoke, “Devda, did you want to tell me some
thing ?”
Still not looking at her, Devdas said, “Yes, sit down.”
Paravti did not sit down, but remained standing, looking down at him.
Devdas did not speak. After several minutes of silence, Parvati slowly
turned and began walking away.
Then Devdas called,”Listen…”

“I’ll tell you this – truly - I can’t trust you , or rely on you. The man I’m
going to marry, he is wealthy, and more than that, he is intelligent, steady,
and moral. My parents, who love me, and wish me to be happy, would
never give me away to a thoughtless, restless, devil-driven creature like
you! Now let me go!.
Devdas hesitated, he even made to step aside, but in the next instant he
sneered, “Aren’t we proud!”
Parvati continued,”You think you can hurt me, and yes, you can. So! Hurt
me if you wish, but let me go!”
This was too much for Devdas; gripping his fishing rod, he rasped in a
terrible voice, “Listen, Parvati, too much pride is not a good thing. Nor is
too great a beauty. It increases vanity and pride.”
He paused,”That is why the beautiful moon has marks on it, that is why the
black bee mars the beauty of the lotus by hovering on it. Your beautiful
face deserves a mark too.”
With that, he brought the fishing-rod down hard, hitting her face and cutting
it from cheek to eyebrow. Immediately, she was awash in blood.
Parvati sobbed uncontrollably, “Oh, Devda!”
Devdas came back, there were tears in his eyes.
With great tenderness, he knelt by her and asked, “Why ? Paru.”
“Don’t tell anyone.”
Devdas kissed her gently, “Be easy, I won’t. You’re my own, my Paru.
Don’t you remember when you were naughty, I’d box your ears ?”
“Devda, forgive me.”
“Paru, have you forgotten me completely, then ? I’ve never stayed angry
with you.”
“Devda !”
“Parvati, you know I’m a silent sort of man, I don’t make fancy speeches, I
don’t think too deeply either! I jump in as my heart directs.”, saying this
Devdas placed his hand on Parvati’s head, as if in blessing.
“You’ve done the right thing, Paru. You would not have found contentment
with me. But – you would have made your Devdas unutterably happy.”
Just then they saw people approaching. Slowly, Parvati took up her pitcher,
and she and Devdas began walking homeward.
So too, felt Devdas, that which he thought
was forever his, was suddenly lopped away from him, and no word or
command of his would have any effect now, any rights he had held, had
been struck away.

He realised that this memory was forever embedded in her mind, like a
piece of shrapnel
buried too deep to recover, forever painful. And Parvati? She had come,
planning to say so may well-intentioned things to him. In the actuality of
his presence, she was lost, she forgot all that she had come prepared to say,
and sat before him, quite dumb.
I knew you came from a wealthy
family, but that was not the reason. I’ve known so many people, yet I’ve
never came across the spirit, the wild yet gentle and vibrant spirit that you
have, in any of them. Your blunt words came straight from the heart, and
then you left me money as though it was a joke! Do you remember all
that?”
Chondromookhi said, “Of course they exist. And because of that, Devdas,
she who loves enough, will bear it. There is kind of satisfaction, even
peace, in keeping her love in her heart, within her inner self; and she does
not want to bring any more sorrow into this pointless life. But as I was
saying, Devdas, I feel in my heart, Parvati did not cheat you, rather you
cheated yourself. You may find this impossible to believe this now, yet
perhaps in time you will understand, and realize that I spoke truly.”
Chondromookhi said, “Of course they exist. And because of that, Devdas,
she who loves enough, will bear it. There is kind of satisfaction, even
peace, in keeping her love in her heart, within her inner self; and she does
not want to bring any more sorrow into this pointless life. But as I was
saying, Devdas, I feel in my heart, Parvati did not cheat you, rather you
cheated yourself. You may find this impossible to believe this now, yet
perhaps in time you will understand, and realize that I spoke truly.”
But I can’t see you throwing down your life, your vibrant
rebellious spirit, in worshipping beauty alone. Parvati may be very
beautiful; but I feel that she loved you first, and let you know of it.’
Thinking in this way , another thought, barely audible, escaped her lips. “I
know from my own feelings, how much she must have loved you.”
Chondromookhi said, “Nothing. That is, I said that it wasn’t your beauty
that trapped her heart. You are beautiful, but that’s not it.” She sighed.
“Only the one who loves you, knows how strong is the power of your
attraction . Turn away from you on a whim? There’s no woman on earth
who could do that.”
After another silence, she went on softly, “Your beauty goes beyond the eye
– it reaches the soul like an ember, and then? It burns like a pyre.”
Chondromookhi smiled, “There is nothing so tiresome as hearing words of
love from someone you do not love! But I am only speaking for Parvati, -
not for myself.”
Devdas stirred, “Then, let me take my leave.”
The hopeful ones can feel
pain or joy or anxiety; their thought are lively and can tire them out, but the
ones without hope – they feel neither pleasure nor pain, yet they can be
content, they are untouched as life breezes past them. So it was with
Parvati. Filling her days with ritual, and prayer and good works, she had
bound her restless, hopeless mind from wandering aimlessly into the
mango-orchards of Tal-Sonapur, into the bamboo thickets, and the old
schoolroom.
Chondromookhi humored him, “Why not?”
Devdas asserted, “I shall call you by this name ‘Wife’!”
Chondromookhi laughed. “But that name has a meaning.”
“Must everything have a meaning? I will call you ‘wife’ because I wish to,
that’s all.”
After a silence, Devdas said, gravely, “Wife, why do you look after me?”
Chondromookhi answered tenderly, “You are my treasure, don’t you know
that yet?”
In a low voice, Devdas continued to talk, “You two are so dissimilar, and
yet so alike. One is proud-spirited, independent, the other so meek, so
mild. One cannot bear any kind of injustice, or suffering, the other has
borne so much, still bears so much. One has a great name, reputation, the
other is vilified. She is loved by all, while no one loves you, save me. For I
love you, I do indeed.”
He sighed deeply, and continued. “I don’t know how we will be judged, but
if there is a life after this one, and we meet again, then I will never leave
your side, will never be able to leave you again.”
After leaving Calcutta, Devdas traveled to Elahabad. While there, he wrote
to Chondromookhi, “Wife, I never thought that I would love again! To
have loved, and come away empty-handed is pain enough, then to risk
loving again is folly.”
He recalled all the empty promises that he had made in his life, but this
promise he had to keep – he had promised to see her before he died, but he
had no certainty that he would live to keep this promise.
Yet, if you chance to meet a hopeless, heedless sinner like Devdas, say
a little prayer for him, that he will not suffer the kind of death Devdas did.
Pray, not that he live, but that at the time of death a loving hand may gently
touch his head, that he may behold a loving face as his eyes close upon this
world.