Republic of the Philippines

QUIRINO STATE UNIVERSITY

Diffun Campus
Andres Bonifacio, Diffun, Quirino

COLLEGE OF TEACHER EDUCATION

Bachelor of Technology and Livelihood Education

Module title MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE RELATIONSHIP

Week 13-14 Gender equality in the parent’s responsibilities to strengthened families.
Learning activities At the end of the lesson, the students are able to:
1.Describe the importance of gender equality in parenting and in
the family as a whole.
2.Demonstrate an in depth understand on how fathers and mothers
fulfil their roles and help each other as equal partners.

Introduction
In this lesson, we will define gender roles and look into the Gender equality in the parent’s
responsibilities. We will also explore the shift in these roles and how they appear today.
Motivation
What Are Gender Roles?
My father loves to watch old, black-and-white movies. You know the kind...the woman is
at home making a pot roast, and the husband returns from work briefcase in hand. He kisses
her and asks her what they are having for dinner, and she asks him how his day was. A child
comes into the kitchen to ask mommy when dinner will be finished.
Old movies and television shows had a certain way of portraying the family, particularly
men and women. The man was the strong, breadwinner of the family, while the wife lovingly
took care of the children and household duties. And that wasn't just what happened on TV.
Even life operated that way for many families. My father, for example, worked hard at
being the primary breadwinner of the family and expected my mother to take care of me at
home. These behaviors of men and women that are considered socially appropriate are called
gender roles.

“Gender Equality is a human fight, not a female fight.” -Frieda Pinto

Do you agree? Why and why not?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
_________________________________

Discussion
SEX AND GENDER
Different terms are regularly used in theories of sexuality and gender, for example sex,
gender, gender identity, gender expressions, gender roles, sexual orientation. It is important to
be clear about the meanings of such terms.
The World Health Organization summarizes the difference between sex and gender in the
following way:
Sex refers to “the different biological and physiological characteristics of males and females,
such as reproductive organs, chromosomes, hormones, etc.”
Gender refers to "the socially constructed characteristics of women and men – such as norms,
roles and relationships of and between groups of women and men. It varies from society to
society and can be changed. The concept of gender includes five important elements:
relational, hierarchical, historical, contextual and institutional. While most people are born either

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male or female, they are taught appropriate norms and behaviours – including how they should
interact with others of the same or opposite sex within households, communities and work
places. When individuals or groups do not “fit” established gender norms they often face stigma,
discriminatory practices or social exclusion – all of which adversely affect health17.

Other definition of Sex and Gender

SEX:
 Sex refers to biological differences between males and females (e.g. gonads, sexual
organs, chromosomes, hormones).
 Sex is usually assigned at birth (there are examples when it is assigned later, when sex
characteristics do not clearly indicate the sex of the baby, for example in the case of
‘intersex’ people).
 Sex can be changed: in the case of transsexual people , who are born with the sex
characteristics of one sex and gender identity of the other, sex reassignment surgeries
are performed. This includes a change of sex organs and the administration of
hormones.
GENDER
 Gender is a social, psychological and cultural construct and it is developed in the
process of socialization. Different societies and cultures may therefore have different
understandings of what is ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’. Societies create norms and
expectations related to gender, and these are learned in the course of people’s lives –
including in the family, at school, through the media.
 Gender is not necessarily defined by biological sex: a person’s gender may or may not
correspond to their biological sex. Gender is more about identity and how we feel about
ourselves. People may self-identify as male, female, transgender, other or none
(indeterminate/unspecified). People that do not identify as male or female are often
grouped under the umbrella terms ‘non-binary’ or ‘genderqueer’, but the range of gender
identifications is in reality unlimited.

Gender identity is defined as a personal and internal sense of oneself as male, female,
or other
Gender expression is defined as the way in which an individual publicly expresses their
gender, for example, through aspects such as clothing, hair, makeup, and body
language. Gender expression can, but does not always reflect a person’s gender
identity.
Gender role is usually determined by a culture or community, and may have rigid or
loose definitions depending on the approach by the community for rules placed upon any
gender categories.
Gender Equality means that the rights, responsibilities and opportunities of individuals
will not depend on whether they are male or female, handicapped or able bodied, young
or elderly, white or black, or from rural or urban settings. Women are entitled to live in
dignity, safety and security.

Three Gender Ideologies

There are 3 common gender ideologies and they are traditional, egalitarian, and transitional
gender ideologies.

 A traditional gender ideology supports the idea that a man's place is at work and a
woman's place is at home.
 An egalitarian gender ideology supports the idea that both man and woman can
distribute their power equally, representing a sense of equality in the relationship.

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  A transitional gender ideology supports the idea that a woman can distribute her power
equally between home and work but ultimately pay more attention to her home and a
man can do the same but should pay more attention to his work

Strengthening Parent Roles: Philippine Context

The Early Years Act of 2013, Section 2 of the law:
“ It is hereby declared the policy of the State to promote the rights of children to
survival, development and special protection with full recognition of the nature of childhood as
well as the need to provide developmentally appropriate experiences to address their needs and
to support parents as primary caregivers and children’s first teachers.
What is family support?
Families want the best for their children, to nurture their growth and development. Families with
children who have special needs want the same for their children, but often face additional
challenges, including great stress,
social isolation, and financial strain. Families may become overwhelmed, and find it difficult
navigating the service system for their child, and to find social and emotional support for
themselves. "Family Support" helps families access a broad array of supports and services,
including formal supports (such as paid respite care) and informal supports (such as parent-to-
parent connections) and a community system of services that promote the well-being of families
and their children with special needs.
Family support aims to:

 Increase the strength and resilience of families

 Support parents as they help their children with special needs achieve their full potential
 Improve community capacity to serve families with children who have special needs
 Helps families make critical connections to other families and resources in the community
 Provides individualized, family-driven support that respects family culture, values, and
preferences
The Family Support Program works with families, communities, and service providers to
promote and provide support for families with children who have special needs – which includes
special health care needs, developmental and learning disabilities, and behavioral/mental health
diagnoses.
List of some Family support program in the Philippines:
1. Supplementary Feeding Program- the provision of food in addition to the regular
meals to currently enrolled Daycare Center
2. Social Pension Program for Indigent Senior Citizen-indigent senior citizen shall be
entitled to a monthly stipend amounting to five hundred pesos to augment the daily
subsistence and other medical needs of Senior Citizen
3. Alternative Family Care Program- Domestic Adoption Law mandates the DSWD to
facilitate the provision of immediate and permanent placement of a child legally available
for adoption , needing an adoptive family.
4. Sustainable Livelihood Program- is a capability-building program for poor, vulnerable
and marginalized household
5. Pantawid Pamilyang Pilipino Program (4Ps)- the National poverty reduction strategy
of the government

CHILDREN IN THE PHILIPPINES

Young children are often raised by an extended family household with various relatives
taking on child-rearing responsibilities. Children are often taken on responsibility at an early age.
Girls especially are expected to help with cooking and household chores and look after younger
siblings. This is especially true if the wife in a family is engaged in economic activity.
Filipinos are typically highly indulgent of their children, especially boys, so may well
tolerate children’s anti-social behavior in public. In contrast, public displays of anger towards
children, even just overt chastising or reprimanding, are not well regarded.

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 Infants are raised by family members. Young children are sent to live with their
grandparents or aunts for extended periods. People who live outside the country leave their
children with the family for the preschool years. Children are seldom alone in a system in which
adults desire company and do not understand the need for privacy. Children have no pressure
to become toilet trained or to learn to eat at the table. They are spoon fed or eat from a parent's
plate until the age of six. They must learn respect for authority, obedience, and religious faith.
Self-esteem is fostered.

Child-rearing in the Philippines

A Filipino child receives an abundance of love and affection from all members of the
extended family and is seldom chastised. He will have a tendency not to do things alone,
and this remains all his life. The child is almost kept young for as long as possible. However,
certain norms of conduct expected of the child reflect values held by the extended
family. The primary value is karangalan (dignity) which encompasses puri (honour);
katapatan (trustworthiness), pananagutan (extended responsibility). Safeguarding
karangalan, by
pagkamasunurin (obedience, compliance) is vital. Loss of karangalan by a family member
results in hiya (shame) for the whole family. (Source: Philippines Australia Business Council)

As a result, Filipinos develop a delicate sense of personal worth, and peer group
acceptance and pakikipagkapwa-tao (concern for fellow-beings) become primary
values. These require: avoiding direct disagreements, using intermediaries, using
euphemisms and metaphors, keeping feelings to oneself, and helping members of the
extended family find employment, dressing correctly for the occasion, and smiling at
disappointments and failures.

Filipinos also have an obligation to support erring family members in public and
chastise in private, i.e., he can disagree in private, but must publicly agree with a family
member, for utang na loob and family indebtedness are obligatory for all members of the
extended family. Criticism of one family member is criticism of all, and honour to one is
honour to all. Family obligations mean that the eldest child often goes to work, so that
younger family members can be educated. This occurs regardless of sex, for Filipino women
have been liberated for centuries. The number of Filipino businesswomen is large
In the Philippines, decisions are made by consensus and on the basis of anticipated
benefit to the family. Filipinos must consult with other family members, especially elders,
before making decisions. Filipinos have special forms of address for older members of the
family, older relatives, and even older siblings, for they all have authority over the child.
Space limitations and hierarchical family situation often motivate younger family members to
spend leisure time on community affairs. Sometimes they are directed by the family into
community projects. This satisfies the goals for the well-being of the extended family, and
provides a means for self development
Reference to the authority of older family members is reinforced by the authority of
the church. The church also helps build the high values placed, compassion, and tolerance.
Religion dominates Filipinos. Religion is all-pervading in Filipino’s life, whether he practices
his faith or not ‘ he tends to do the right thing and lives by the dictates and teachings of the
church. He will do this even if operating under two sets of values which has been called
‘split-level christianity’. This appears very contradictory to foreigners, but is very reconcilable
from the Filipino point of view. This explains the graft-taker never failing to go to church on
Sunday, or a businessman giving equally to his parish church and his mistress

TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES

Gender roles in the Philippines are found in many different places; for instance, school systems,
dating, marriage, and especially their families. There are several different elements that play a
role in categorizing men and women into certain statuses among their gender roles. When
Filipino’s are born they automatically are expected to assume a specific role. They are defined
by their sex and then assume that gender role. Gender differences play a key part on what they
are supposed to do as an individual of that sex and what they are not supposed to do. In a
matter of speaking each gender has a set of social norms they follow. Males in retrospect get
more respect because females take after their mothers and elder women to take less
dominating roles, thus being more feminine in the jobs they choose to hold. The women are not

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always what we call frilly or girly, because they may be tom boys but they still have that less
dominating role in their society. Men on the other hand are categorized into the more
dominating roles in society. Men are brought up to take after their fathers or the elder man in
their life. They are defined as being more confident, accomplished, and well rounded
individuals.

MEN:
1. Considered responsible for taking care of the family financially.
2. They took their jobs as sole providers very seriously.
3. They also had the responsibility for guiding the family. While they may listen to what their
wives had to say, they made the final decisions. Men did not do household duties or
childcare.
4. They felt the need to be strong and refrained from showing too much emotion or sharing
too many personal feelings, especially with those outside of the family.
WOMEN:
1. Expected to be in charge of running the household. Mothers did the laundry, cooked the
meals, and cleaned the rooms.
2. They also took care of the children, giving them the care and attention that was required.

Four Basic Parenting Styles (Maccoby and Martin 1983)

1. Authoritative Parenting
- who encourage kids to be responsible, to think for themselves, and to consider the
reasons for rules.
- Healthy mix of Responsiveness and Demandingness
Positive Impacts:
 Children have the ability to form their own opinions.
 Children have the ability to establish healthy social connections and succeed
academically.
 Children are able to establish their independent skills as they become adolescents.
 Children are able to establish their self-identity and group identity.
 Children can maintain their intimacy with their parents.
Negative Impacts:
 Children may not obey their parents because some disciplines may not be age
appropriate.
 Parents may not establish every household rules and children may not obey with the
rules that are not enforced.
 Children may become stubborn about some things they don’t get from their parents.

2. Authoritarian Parenting
- who expect their orders to be obeyed without question and who rely on punishment--or
the threat of punishment--to control their kids

Positive Impacts:
 Children tend to have high academic achievements.
 They tend to very obedient and never disregard any rules that is given to them.
 Children can set extremely high expectations for themselves for career goals.
 Children will heavily rely on cultural values.
Negative Impacts:

 Children will develop anxiety and depression from strict parenting.

 Children will hate school and not value school as a place for socialization.
 Children will form suicide thoughts.
 Children will have the inability to form their own opinions and thoughts

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 3. Permissive Parenting
- who are responsive and warm (a good thing) but also reluctant to enforce rules (a bad
thing)
Positive Impacts:
 Children tend to be delighted to get a lot of love from their children.
 They tend to treat their children as their friends.
 They may make children pleased when they
 Request for anything from their parents.
Negative Impacts:
 Children may be spoiled getting allot of bribery from their parents, such as toys or gifts.
 Children may tend to lack their own self-discipline.
 They may develop poor social skills with their peers.
 They may develop aggressive behavior because they have inadequate guidance from
their parents.
 They may not have high academic achievement because they are not persuaded by
their parents to have a lot of emphasis on their education.
 Children may not develop mature behavior when they grow to become adults.

4. Uninvolved/Neglectful Parenting
- who offer their children little emotional support and fail to enforce standards of conduct.

Positive Impacts:
 Children can have the opportunity to develop their own guidance by joining in to clubs or
activities.
 Children have the opportunity to seek for an adult that can guide them who actually
cares for who they are.
 They can overcome situations in an adopted family becoming more mature, if there is a
substitute caretaker who takes responsibilities for raising them.
 If abounded children grow up to become mature, they can contribute some factors on
helping their families who abandoned them
Negative Impacts:
 They can be socially isolated from their peers.
 Children can end up facing loneliness throughout their lives.
 They can develop patterns of delinquency.
 They have lack of self-esteem.
 They are unable to control their aggressive behavior.
 They are at high risk of developing anxiety and fear disorders.
 They can have a high chance having addiction to drugs or alcohol.

LEARNING ACTIVITIES:
Name: __________________________________ Date: ____________________
Year and Section: _________________________ Subject: __________________

ASSESSMENT #1- FINALS

Read the questions carefully and write your answers in your activity book. 5 points each
1. Why is it important that parents understand the individual characteristics and needs of
each of their children?
2. What do you recall from your childhood that helped you feel loved? In what ways have
these feelings of love influenced you throughout your life?
3. What examples have you seen of husbands and wives effectively supporting one
another in caring for and teaching their children?
4. How parents influence a child’s gender roles?
5. Why is authoritative parenting so often linked with successful kids?

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 ASSESSMENT #2- FINALS
As a future teacher, express your idea about the issue of Gender Equality that the world is
facing today. You may express it in any form you choose (ex. Poster, slogan, paint, song,
poem).

 For Slogan/Poster/Painting: present your output in a 1/8 illustration board

 For Poem/Song: encode your output in a legal size bond paper

Module title MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE RELATIONSHIP

Week 15 Managing Work, Technology, Careers and Family Responsibilities
Learning At the end of the lesson, the students are able to:
Outcome 1. Demonstrate essential understanding of how important work-life
balance/management in our daily lives.
2. Recognize the signs that your life/family life is out of balance.
3. Describe the challenges in managing work, technology, careers, and
family responsibilities.
4. Learn ways to balance time in managing work, technology and careers.

MOTIVATION

Reflect on the pictures above and ask yourself. Be honest with your answers.
1. When was the last time your family ate a meal together?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
__________________.
2. Do your parents/family work to live, or live to work?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
_____________________.

WORK AND FAMILY

The Value of Work
 Work is a valuable part of life:
 Work brings purpose and order to each day
 Work provides something worthwhile to do
 Work provides income & other rewards
 Work allows you to feel proud of a job well done.
 Work can provide a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment for the contributions you make.
Work ethic - is a set of values based on the moral virtues of hard work and diligence. It is an
attitude that values hard work. People with good work ethic get things done.

There are two kinds of work for families:

Household Work – work that must be done for the well-being of the people who live in the
household.

 Management skills for household work is similar to those for a business

 Using resources wisely
 Dealing with people
 Scheduling
 Cooperation
Visible Jobs: Meals, Cleaning, Laundry, lawn care, maintenance...
Less-visible jobs: paying bills, cleaning refrigerator, planning meals

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Income-Producing Work – This work provides money for needs and wants.
Amount of time required varies.

 Full-time: more time, but benefits and money are greater; more expectations
 Part-time: more flexibility, less time
 In many families, more than one income is necessary.
 Income-producing jobs require a big time and energy commitment.
 So does household work.
 Combining the two is like having two full-time jobs.
 Problems happen when one person bears more of the load than the other.

Who does the work? -All family members need to share in the work of the family.
Assigning Family Jobs:

 Sometimes influenced by tradition

 Younger families are less tradition-bound
 Time available and when it happens
 Individual skills
 Kids can make meaningful contributions
 All family members need to share in household work.
Communicating about household work:

 Agree on the household tasks that need to be done.

 Understand family members’ feelings and ideas about household work.
 Listen to suggestions for improving the system of getting the work done.
 Remain aware of time commitments
 Support each other when there are problems
 Know what to do when problems arise.
Family Life Affects Jobs:

 Home pressures reduce work effectiveness

 Family problems deplete emotional resources and cause distractions
 Lack of Family Training – has not learned good work ethic, etc.
 Job Loss – loss of family income; stress and anxiety
 Relocation – all family members may have to move
 Work challenges – deplete emotional energy for home
 Difficult Work Schedules – on call; conflicting work shifts; etc.
 Work Stress – tight deadlines, sales goals

Why Is A Balance Important?

A balanced life is one where we spread our energy and effort – emotional, intellectual,
imaginative, spiritual and physical – between key areas of importance. The neglect of one
or more areas, or anchor points, may threaten the vitality of the whole
Why Is A Balance Important?
“Longer working hours and unpredictable work schedules can all add up to less
flexibility, less personal or family time, and ultimately, more stress”
Dr. Susan Black, President, Catalyst

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 Why Do People Get Out of Balance?
1. Unrealistic goals or lack of goals
2. Lack of planning
3. Need for approval
4. Inadequate personal growth
5. Inability to say no
6. Desire to please
7. Need for power
8. Lack of self-awareness

Obstacles to the Wife Pursuing a Career

1. Responsibility for Children
- Wives tend to accommodate their work to their family rather than their family to their
work.
- The needs of their children and husbands come before the requirements of a job (Sack
& Liddell, 1985).
2. Responsibility for Home
- Careers are also difficult for the married man because he has no wife at home to do
those things the traditional wife typically does.
- Husbands of employed wives usually aren’t much help. Most do not participate regularly
in household and family tasks (Smith & Reid, 1986).
- In general, as husband’s income goes up, his participation in housework goes down.
Likewise, as the wife’s income goes up the husband’s participation in housework
increases.

3. The Husband’s Attitude

- If a husband is not supportive of his wife’s career, he can make it difficult for her to be
successful and happy.
- Not only can he grumble about her working, but he can refuse to move if she has an
opportunity for a promotion if she relocates to another city.

The Interface of Work and Family Life

 The family ecology perspective tells us that workplace requirements impact family living.
 The concepts sociological imagination and the family ecology perspective hold that family
life is influenced by cultural expectations and social structures external to it. The workplace
is one such influence.
 On the micro level, family researchers often look at the spillover from work situations into
family life.
Work–life balance
- is a concept including proper prioritizing between "work" (career and ambition) and
"lifestyle"(Health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development/meditation)
- Work life balance is synonymous with work-family balance or family support

Work life balance means spending 50%

of your time at work and 50% of your
time at home

Work plays an important role in the lives of

most people. Work, whether paid or unpaid, also helps us to shape our identity, gives a purpose
to our existence, allows us – or forces us – to structure our time, gives us a useful way to spend
our days, contributes to our social status, and finally, brings us into contact with others. Work-
Life Balance does not mean an equal balance. Work-life balance is the ability to experience a
sense of control and to stay productive and competitive at work while maintaining a happy,
healthy home life with sufficient leisure. The right balance of one today may be different

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tomorrow. It also differs when an individual is single, married, and if there are children and also
when one starts a new career as well as when one is nearing retirement.
The Six Components of Work-Life Balance
1. Self-Management
2. Time Management
3. Stress Management
4. Change Management
5. Technology Management
6. Leisure Management
Stress and Work Pressure
-Stress in the workplace can be defined as the harmful physical and emotional responses
that occur when the requirements of the job do not match the capabilities, resources, or
needs of the worker. Workplace stress can lead to poor health and even injury.
-There are limits to what people are capable of handling, and those limits differ from one
person to the other. When employees exceed these limits, they may find themselves facing
problems so serious that they are unable to solve them on their own. That is when they are
facing a work pressure problem.
-When an employee is unable to meet the demands of work a work pressure problem arises
that can lead to work stress. Work stress can eventually cause the employee to feel
excessively tired, exhausted and depressed, as well as to suffer physical ailments.
Signs and symptoms of stress: Mental, Emotional, Physical, Behavioural, Stress and work
pressure are main contributors to work life imbalance.

Causes of stress
External causes of stress: Major life changes, Work, Relationship difficulties, Financial
problems, Being too busy, Children and family
Internal causes of stress (self-generated)- Inability to accept uncertainty, Doubt, Negative self-
talk, Unrealistic expectations, Perfectionism, Lack of assertiveness

Imbalance of Work
An imbalance is fundamentally a lack of clearly defined and consistently enforced boundaries
between work life and personal life. When we fail to have a healthy work life balance, people
end up experiencing emotional stress, anxiety and depression. Employees who have the tools
to balance their professional and personal lives are happier, healthier, and more productive.
Reasons for Imbalance: Increased responsibilities at work, Increased responsibilities at home,
longer working hours, Personal Mindset, Social Media
Solutions to Prevent Imbalance: Time management, Flexible Schedule, Use technology,
Know it won’t always be perfect, Be consistent and accountable, Be flexible, Set boundaries and
learn to say NO

Assessment #03
Answer the following questions in a short /long bond paper with 3-4 sentences only.
1. Is it true that wives are likely to have a career as husbands? Why and why not?
10pts
2. Is it true that wives who stay at home with their children report that they are
personally happier than wives who are employed outside the home? Why and why
not? 10pts
3. “Work Hard, Work Smart”, how is this important in Work life balance? 10 pts
4. Compare and contrast family work vs. paid work. 10 pts

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 Module title MARRIAGE AND FAMILY LIFE RELATIONSHIP
Week 16 Couple and family therapy
Learning At the end of the lesson, the students are able to:
Outcome 1. Discuss factors of legal issues in couple and family therapy.
2. Identify problems of couples/family bring to marriage therapy.
3. Develop an in-depth understanding on the importance of addressing
legal issues in couple and family therapy.

Motivation
A young couple married when they were both 20 years old. One spouse developed
alcoholism during the first 5 years of the marriage. The couple’s life increasingly became
chaotic and painful for another 5 years, when finally, at age 30, the substance-abusing spouse
enter treatment and, over the course of 18 months, attained a solid degree of sobriety.
Suddenly, lack of communication and difficulties with intimacy came to the force for the non-
substance-abusing spouse, who now often feels sad and hopeless about the marital
relationship. The non-substance-abusing spouse finds, after 18 months of the partner’s
sobriety, that the sober spouse is “no longer fun” or still does not want to make plans for
another child.
Almost all young couples encounter communication and intimacy issues during the first
decade of the relationship. In an alcoholic marriage or relationship, such issues are regularly
pushed into the background as guilt, blame, and control issues are exacerbated by the nature of
addictive disease and its effectives on both the relationship and the family.
The possible complexities of the above situation illustrate both the relevance of the
family therapy to substance abuse treatment and why family therapy requires a complex,
systems perspective.(Quantum Units Continuing education, Published on July 4, 2016)
Give your opinion why the husband/wife became substance-abusing spouse. What
impact does a parent abusing substance have on his or her children?

What is Family Therapy?

Family therapy is a collection of therapeutic approaches that share a belief in family-level
assessment and intervention.
Models of Family Therapy
Systems theory recognizes that:
- A whole system is more than the sum of its parts.
- Parts of the system are interconnected.
- Certain rules determine the functioning of a system.
- Systems are dynamic, carefully balancing continuity against change.
- Promoting or guarding against system entropy (i.e., disorder or chaos) is a powerful
dynamic in the family system balancing change of the family roles and rules
Challenges and Threats to Filipino Families
Filipino Families today are more exposed to a growing number of diverse life threatening
problems than any other generation has ever been.
1. Disintegration of family: Increasing fragility of marriage
- Among the many factors which contribute to the fragility of
urban Filipino families is the loosening control on the young.

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 - Today young people are more independent and are allowed greater freedom. The
increased mobility of young people for recreation and leisure
purposes has made it difficult for parents to monitor them.
-

Delinquency among adolescents

Juvenile Delinquency - can be explained by the failure of social control which is one of the
responsibilities of the family.

Domestic Violence - Physical, psychological and verbal abuse

Domestic Violence - takes place when the victim and the perpetrator are either related to each
other by blood or affinity, or live in the same household.
Types of Domestic Violence: Rape, Incest, Spouse Battering, Sexual harassment, Physical,
verbal, psychological and economic abuse

2. Substance abuse- Refers to continued use of substances that affect the way a user
functions physically and socially. It results to social or occupational impairment.
The dangers of drug abuse - Once a person starts using drugs and succumbs to repeated use,
it becomes hard and painful to quit on his or her own volition. The most frightening effect of drug
use is dependence.
Why do children and young adults use drugs- The most common reason given by children and
young adults is that these prohibited drugs are relatively easy to get. Pushers roam
neighborhoods where children could be easily lured and victimized.
Other reasons which are more serious and should be given immediate attention are:
- Abusive parents
- Family problems
- Peer pressure
- insecurity
- The feeling that parents have given up on the child
- Accessibility or visibility of some kind of inhalant in the home such as rugby of thinner.

Ways to help children say “NO TO DRUGS”

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 - Educate about drugs
- Listen intently to your children
- Make them feel good about themselves
- Never use put-down words
- Praise them for their efforts & accomplishments
- Do not dwell on failures
- Be a model for your kids by being vice-free
- Support your kids especially when they are faced with peer pressure

When children are into drugs, the following are advisable:

1. Calm down. Berating your child only makes the problem worse
2. Go beyond telling your child to stop drugs now.
3. Think together with your child and ask why. Listen and try to understand your child’s
reasons taking drugs.
4. Make the issue a family matter.
5. Encourage your child to get help.
6. Go through family counselling
7. Contact a medical specialist and your nearest rehabilitation center.

3. Parental absenteeism
- Today, the family is broken because of the diminishing opportunities for them to be
one.
- The real meaning of family has been distorted. Family is equated with material
possessions.
- Many parents leave their young children to seek better economic opportunities.
- Many parents replace their presence with the latest gadgets.
- Absence of parents destroys the solidarity in the family.

4. Economic difficulties
- Economic difficulties is one of the biggest challenges being faced by many families
today.
- As a result of this, children are malnourished, cannot go to school and instead work to
augment family income at a very young age. Children and young people in the streets
are exposed to all kinds of hazards (addiction, exposure to toxic substances and
pollution) with negative impact on their health and overall development.

5. Absence of family goals and deteriorating values

- Families who don’t have goals to live in a day to day existence. The absence of values
and goals to guide family decisions and activities can cause members to lose sight of
what is truly worthwhile.
- Values are strong feelings or beliefs about issues, ideas or things that are considered
important by the person.
- Individuals and families have different values. It influences a person’s most important
decisions about friends, sexual relationship, family education, work and money.
- Failure of parents to recognize higher meaning and purpose of the family can lead to
materialism, instant gratification and pleasure as life’s chief goals.

6. Rising incidence of early sexual involvement and teenage pregnancies

- Too Early Sexual Involvement This refers to engaging in some form of sexual
encounter or sexual intercourse at an early age.

7. Strong negative influence of media on the family

- Too much exposure to violent crimes and sex in the media brings damage to the
upbringing of children.
- Because of media, the interpersonal relationship in the family seems to have been
neglected.
- Family ties that used to be very close are being threatened.
- Media has become the babysitter, taking the place of busy parents.

Problems of the Filipino Family

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 Immaturity, inadequate preparation for family life, and personality incompatibility.
- This problem is caused by early marriage, most likely, these young people are
inadequately prepared for family life. Most often, these young couples tend to think only
of themselves, thus constant quarrelling and bickering.
Economic instability
- The average Filipino family earns income which is below the poverty line.
Some of the heads of the family are out of work, forcing the spouse to seek
employment.
- Sometimes, the eldest child is also forced to work in order to add to the family’s meagre
income.
Urbanization
- Due to inadequate income and lack of job opportunities in the province, the family moves
to the city thinking that life will be easier and comfortable for them. Consequently, life in
the city gets congested leading to more problems like pretty crimes, unemployment, etc.
The kabit system
- This is common among Filipino family.
- Husband and wife often quarrel, resulting in “broken homes”
Increase in the number of working mothers
- Due to insufficient income, the woman is forced to work, and cannot fully discharge her
duties and responsibilities at home.
Lack of leisure activities
- Because of the desire of the head of the family to give his/her family a quality life, he/she
gets engrossed in his/her job, and forgets his/her duties to his/her family.
- Not even a single hour for leisure and recreation is set aside. Subsequently, the children
are left alone most of the time.
Unhealthy and unsanitary living condition
- The Filipino family is generally classified as a low-earning family.
- The head of the family has to satisfy the economic needs of his/her family first. His/her
income is just enough to support the needs of the children.
Large number of children
- Large number of children means more mouths to feed. With a meagre income, eating
three times a day becomes a problem.

Marital Therapy
Sometimes it is impossible for spouses to resolve a conflict by themselves. Contacting a
marriage therapist is an alternative.
Problems Couples Bring to Marriage Therapy
1. Sex
- Extramarital affairs
- Disagreement about when sex occurs
- Sexual dysfunction
- Lack of sexual desire etc.
2. In-laws
- Borrowing money from in-laws
- Loaning/giving money to in-laws
- Living with in-laws etc.
3. Recreation
- No sharing of leisure time
- Disagreement over what is fun
- Where to spend vacation etc.
4. Children
- Discipline of children
- Number of children
- Retarded, autistic, or otherwise handicapped child etc.
5. Communication

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 - Don’t love spouse
- Spouse is impatient
- Too little time spent communicating etc.

6. Money
- Wife’s job or husband’s job
- Conflict over who buys what
- Debts etc.
7. Religion
- Which church to attend
- Breaking vows
- Church donations etc.
8. Friends
- Too few or many friends
- Different friends
- Time with friends etc.
9. Alcohol or Drugs
- Spouse drinks/smoke too much marijuana
- Spouse takes too many pills
- Violence as a consequence of drinking etc.

5 types of Therapy
1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
- CBT is a time-limited therapy that focuses on the ‘here and now’ ’rather than your
childhood.
- It examines the relationship between our situation, mindset, thoughts, emotions,
behaviour, and physical reactions.
- It trains you to automatically question whether or not your thoughts are facts, which slow
down your reaction time and helps you feel more emotionally stable.
- CBT is ideal for people who want a therapy that works towards solutions, with clear
goals, and practical techniques.
2. Counselling
- A counsellor can help you find ways to deal with your difficulties and understand how
you’re feeling.
- Counselling can be particularly useful for people who are going through a difficult time
such as bereavement, relationship problems, work-stress or other life-changing
situations.

Relationship and Family Counseling

- Relationship and family counseling is a professional service having two goals:
- Helping individuals, couples, and families gain insight into the actually or potentially
troublesome dynamics of their relationship(s).
- Teaching clients more effective and supportive communication techniques

3. Mindfulness-Based Therapies
- These therapies focus on teaching you to become the observer of your thoughts and
feelings.
4. Humanistic Therapy
- Use as a range of theories and practices to help you understand and enhance your
mental wellbeing.
- This approach suits people interested in exploring their lives and looking at their issues
from a wide range of angles.
5. Interpersonal Therapy
- Focuses on you and your relationships with others and is based on the idea that poor
mental well-being is rooted within our interpersonal relationships.

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 RE-MARRIAGE AND STEP FAMILIES
Dissolution of Marriage
A. Divorce
- It is a complete dissolution of marriage in which both parties can marry again.
- Most of the grounds for divorce have existed after the marriage.
- Divorce is implemented in the United States and many other countries except in the
Philippines.
Grounds for Divorce
The following are grounds for divorce in most countries:
1. Cruelty – inflicting unnecessary physical or emotional pain on either spouse.
2. Abandonment – the spouse leaves home voluntarily and has no intention of returning h 3.
Incarceration or confinement in prison for a set number of years.
3. Impotency or physical inability to engage in sexual intercourse, if it is not disclosed before
marriage.
4. Adultery or concubinage
5. Incurable insanity
6. Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism
7. Refusal or neglect to provide suitable support for the spouse
8. Irreconcilable difference some for a certain period of time.

B. Annulment - refers to the legal process of filing a petition in the appropriate court
seeking a judicial declaration of making a marriage null and void or from the beginning
as if no marriage took place.
The following are the grounds for nullifying marriage under the new Code;
1. Lack of parental consent
2. Insanity of one of the parties
3. Fraud; however, if free cohabitation between two parties occurs after null knowledge of the
fraud, marriage is ratified.
4. Force, intimidation, or undue influence
5. Impotency
6. Affliction of sexually transmissible disease found to be serious and which appears incurable.

C. Legal Separation- refers to the legal process of filling a petition in the appropriate court
seeking a judicial declaration of legal separation for married couples.

Art.55. A petition for legal separation may be filed on any of the following grounds:
1. Repeated physically violence or grossly abusive conduct directed against the petitioner;
2. Physical violence or moral pressure to compel the petitioner, apolitical affiliation;
3. Attempt of respondent to corrupt r induce the petitioner, a common child, or a child of the
petitioner, to engage in prostitution, or connivance in such corruption or inducement;
4. Final judgment sentencing the respondent to imprisonment of more than six yrs. even if
pardoned;
5. Drug addiction or habitual alcoholism of the respondent;
6. Lesbianism or homosexuality of the respondent;
7. Contracting by the respondent of a subsequent bigamous marriage, whether in the
Philippines or abroad;
8. Sexual infidelity or perversion;

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 9. Attempt by the respondent against the life of the petitioner; or
10. Abandonment of petitioner by respondent without justifiable cause for more than one
year.

Remarrying in the Philippines

Divorce is not allowed under Philippine law, but remarriage is possible under the
following circumstances:

 Death of a spouse
Republic Act 10655 of 2015 has repealed the law stating that women must wait 301 days
after the death of a spouse before they can remarry or risk being held criminally liable for
premature marriage. Thus, women no longer have to wait out the prescribed period in order to
legally remarry, regardless of the period of the spouse’s passing.
If a widow whose spouse died in the Philippines wishes to re-marry a foreign national,
she/he must present a death certificate issued on National Statistics Office (NSO) security
paper, and authenticated by the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA). On the other hand, a
widow whose spouse died in another country must present a certified true copy of the death
certificate, ideally with an English translation, and the document must be authenticated by the
ministry of foreign affairs of the country where the death certificate was issued.

 Presumptive death
Those who wish to remarry on the account of presumptive death of a spouse may do so by
asking first the court for a declaration of presumptive death. This is governed by Article 41 of
the Family Code of the Philippines, as amended, and only possible under the ordinary
presumptions with the following conditions:
- Your spouse has been missing for four consecutive years
- You have a well-founded belief that your absentee spouse is dead
- You have exerted great effort to locate your absentee spouse, and to establish contact
- You have filed a summary proceeding for the declaration of presumptive death of the
absent spouse.
- You wish to remarry.
The four-year period can be shortened to two consecutive years for extraordinary absence
under these conditions:
- The absent spouse was on board a vessel that got lost at sea, or an airplane that has
gone missing, and who has not been heard of for two years since then.
- The absent spouse was in the armed forces who has taken part in a war, and has been
missing for two years.
- The absent spouse was in danger of death under other circumstances and his/her
existence has been unknown for two years.
Failure to get a declaration of presumptive death upon remarrying can open you to
charges of bigamy. It can also render your second marriage null and void.

 Divorce from an alien spouse

A divorce decree that has been obtained abroad may be recognized in the Philippines if it
satisfies the conditions set by the law. It should be established that the marriage is between a
Filipino and a foreign national, and that the latter obtained a divorce decree from their country,
thus making them eligible for remarriage according to their law.
This may be done through a petition for judicial recognition of a foreign judgment. When the
court grants this petition, the Filipino spouse will also become eligible to remarry.

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  Civil annulment
A civil annulment pursuant to Article 45 of the Family Code of the Philippines, as amended,
can be obtained on these grounds:
- Either or both spouses were 18 years old or over but younger than 21 years old, and the
marriage was solemnized without the consent of either or both of their parents or legal
guardians, unless after attaining the age of 21, he/she freely cohabited with the other
spouse.
- Either spouse was of unsound mind when the marriage was solemnized, unless such
spouse after coming to reason, freely cohabited with the other as husband and wife.
- The consent of either spouse was obtained through fraud, unless such spouse freely
cohabited after full knowledge of the fraud.
- The consent of either spouse was obtained through force, intimidation or undue
influence, unless the same have disappeared or ceased and such spouse thereafter
freely cohabited with the other.
- Either spouse was physically incapable to consummate the marriage with the other, or
such incapacity continues and appears to be incurable.
- Either spouse was afflicted with a sexually transmitted infection (STI) that appears to be
serious and incurable.

Those who have gotten a civil annulment must produce the following documents in order to
remarry:

 Court Order/Decision and Certificate of Finality of Decision

 Amended marriage contract, with an annotation of the civil annulment

NULLITY OF MARRIAGE
A certification of nullity of marriage can be issued if the marriage is found to be void right from
the start. A marriage is considered invalid if:

 Either spouse was younger than 18 years when the marriage was solemnized, even if
there was parental consent.
 The marriage was solemnized by an individual who does not have the legal authority to
do so – unless either or both spouses believed, in good faith, that the solemnizing officer
was authorized to do so.
 The marriage was solemnized without a license, except those allowed under the law.
 The marriage is bigamous or polygamous not falling under Article 41 of the Family Code
of the Philippines, as amended.
 Cases of mistaken identity
 Cases of subsequent marriage rendered void under Article 53 of the Family Code
 Either party was psychologically incapacitated to comply with the essential marital
obligations of marriage at the time of the celebration of the marriage.
 The marriage is incestuous
 Marriages which are void from the beginning for reasons of public policy

 Marriages between blood relatives, whether legitimate or illegitimate, up until the

fourth degree is considered null and void. The same goes for marriage between
the following parties:
 Step-siblings
 Parents-in-law
 Children-in-law
 Adopting parent and adopted child
 The surviving spouse of an adopting parent and the adopted child
 An adopted child and the legitimate child of the adopter
 Adopted children with the same adopter
 Parties in which one killed their spouse or the other’s spouse with the intention to
marry

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**** Remarriage is possible if there is a court order that declares the marriage as null and
void. Remarrying without this court declaration could render the subsequent marriage
void and opens the parties to bigamy charges*****

Remarriage – is the legal union of a man and woman that follows the dissolution of a
previous marriage for one or both spouses. Often leads to:

Step Families
- Are formed when children from another marriage or relationship are brought
- Step families are commonly referred to as ‘blended families’.
- Husband with children marries no-kids wife.
- Husband with children marries wife with children.
- Mom with children marries no-kids husband.
- Mom with children marries dad with children.
- Widow or widower with kids remarries.
- Divorced or widowed parents of adult children marry.
-
Strengths of Stepfamilies
Early reality coping
- Children in stepfamilies learn about life’s realities early. Whereas many biological
children never have to cope with separation, divorce, and death, stepchildren have been
around the track. They have had the first-hand experience of losing someone close to
them. More important, they have learned that life goes on no matter what happens and
that transitions to new relationships can be for the better.
Exposure to Variety of Behavior Patterns
- Children in stepfamilies also experience a variety of behaviors, values, and life styles.
They have the advantage of living on the inside of two families.
Parent Happier
- Single parenting can be a demanding and exhausting experience.
- Remarriage can ease the stress of parenting and provide a happier context for the
parent.
- Stepchildren often witness their parent’s transition from a state of unhappiness to a state
of happiness.
Adaptation to Stepsiblings
- Children learning how to get along with other children in an intimate environment is
another beneficial experience provided by the stepfamily.
- The child’s world may also be expanded by new playmates and companions. This is a
particular benefit for an only child whose parent marries a person with one or more
children.
Stepparent More Objective
- Due to biological tie between a parent and a child, some parents seem to be incapable
of discussing certain issues or topics.
- A stepparent often has the advantage of not being emotionally involved and can relate to
the child at a different level.

Weakness of Stepfamilies
Unrealistic Expectations
- Both spouses in the remarriage may expect their present marriage to right all previous
relationship disappointments-both parental and past marital failures.
Dealing with the Ex-spouse
- The visible reminder of the first marriage who calls and comes by to pick up the children.
Although new spouses may intellectually understand the necessity of such interaction

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 between their spouse’s former husband and wife, emotionally they may feel jealous of
the tie to the previous marriage.
Complexity of Issues
- Remarriage with stepchildren involve twice as many former in-laws, ex-spouses, and
children as first marriage do. Managing these relationships and the issues they can
create becomes difficult for the most skilled partner.

Difficulties for Parents in a Stepfamily

Parents can face problems adjusting to their new family, including:
- One or both partners may bring hang-ups and unresolved feelings from their earlier
relationship into the current situation.
- Disciplining someone else’s child can cause resentment.
- There could be unexpected problems with child maintenance or access visits.
- The partners may have conflicting visions of family life or different rules for the home.
- One partner may not like the other partner’s children.
- Even positive change can be stressful.

Difficulties for a Child in a Stepfamily

A child can face problems adjusting to the new family, including:
- They may be still mourning the break-up of their original family. Children generally want
the return of the original family, even if it was not a happy family.
- They may have been hoping their parents would reunite, and the new relationship
crushes their dream. The child may try to (unconsciously) sabotage the new family in an
effort to regain their old family.
- Confusion and jealousy may arise if their absent parent establishes a new relationship
and has their own ‘new’ family too.
- The decision to make a stepfamily is decided by the two adults and not the children, who
may not want a new arrangement.
- The child may resent or even hate the new partner, at least for a while.
- Moving to a new home, new neighbourhood or new school can cause insecurity.
- They have to share a house with people they don’t know very well.
- They resent being disciplined by the new partner.
- They don’t get along with their step-siblings.
- They feel they don’t know their place within the family.
- They resent their change of place in the family.
- They feel left out and uncertain about the new family.
- They dislike having to share their parent with the other partner and stepchildren

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