In Class Exercise – 4

Self-Awareness

Take a sheet of paper (you may need a large one!) and list all the things you don’t like about
yourself. You can include negative qualities identified by others if you wish – how others see
you. Allow yourself at least ten minutes. Be brutally honest – only you have to see the list.

1. Now consider each item carefully, and underline any negative quality about which you
feel you can do absolutely nothing. For example, you may hate being short, but that’s
how nature made you, so there’s no use fretting over it or bemoaning the fact – it’s
something you have to live with. You may have problems in your life over which you
have had little control, such as bereavement or illness. These are things you have to
accept – and like yourself in spite of them. We will return to how you can begin to do that
in a moment.
2. Next, put a tick against any negative quality you are prepared to accept about yourself.
For example, friends may ‘accuse’ you of over-reacting to some situations, but you may
feel that being highly sensitive to some issues actually motivates you to do something
about them. Consider where this is a positive force for you, and stick with it. However,
where it is not productive, but a source of anxiety which stifles action or development,
you will need to find ways of doing something about this tendency to over-react.
3. Which brings us to the third part of the exercise. Circle all the faults, failings and
negative behaviour traits which you would like to change. You know you have a ‘short
fuse’, for example, and can explode with anger, hurting yourself and others in the
process; or you find it difficult to give or take criticism. There are assertiveness
techniques, described later, which can help with these issues. Keep your list, and when
you have finished reading the book, see how the techniques can begin to help you
overcome these negative traits.