Name: Sophia Ancheta

Section: CD

The Abscenes You Made, Made Me Closer

Growing up I wanted to have one big happy family but it isn’t that cliche. Having one big
family was a fever dream for me. This dream started in a snap during the 2014 Political
elections in Vigan City. My dad has won the elections, and decided to stay there - I never
thought him leaving meant forever. This left me blindsided because I thought his being in
Politics meant endless vacations to Vigan City and family gatherings. However, it meant brutally
separating my family and reducing closure on my dad’s side. I did not see my dad and family for
several years. It was painful for me to accept the dark truth. The process of accepting evolved
and this means I become more mature as I grow up.

Acceptance may sound easy to hear although it is difficult to do. Experiencing an

emptiness in life was so evident because my father was not living with us anymore. Being in the
old house I grew up with my dad was full of memories and now it became a remembrance of
pain. My mom decided to move out and start a new chapter in life. This is where I started to
accept the situation.

Moving out was one of the greatest decisions my mom ever made, it helped me heal a
little bit faster. The process of entering a new chapter in my life made me say “Is this for real?”
My younger self would not have imagined this type of situation. Moving into a new environment
with my mom and my siblings was insane. I am glad that even though my father was out of the
picture, I enjoyed the company of my family. It helped me accept that maybe having a broken
family was the better option. There were no more fights, shouting, and hitting between my
parents. What made me accept faster, was the fact my mom was happy and free. Seeing
happiness in my family's faces is very relieving. After settling into my new life and practicing
acceptance, a surprise came.

My dad reached out to me to apologize for his mistakes. My family from Ilocos still made
me feel at home because of the family gatherings. These acts made me heal because all I did
was forgive. Forgiving and accepting made me feel lighter. This was evident when my dad
became more supportive about reaching my dreams of getting into my dream school. These
acts made me finally accept the fact that having a broken family made me closer to my loved
ones. There may be wounds from the past but those wounds made me stronger. I will call it a
battle scar – an acceptance scar. There may be times when my father was not present during
my important days but learning to accept made me feel better. I was able to move forward in my
life and achieve my dreams. The recent dream that I have achieved was getting into my dream
school, Ateneo de Manila University.

Acceptance of the dark truth was not the easiest decision I had in life. Although
accepting the absences and tragedy made me more aware of what will come next. I am glad
that my family taught me that accepting is scary but it is worth it. It made me realize that the pain
that I was going through all these years made me appreciate and accept what was happening at
the moment. Now, I am happy to say that the absences my father made made my family closer.
Recently, I have been seeing my family in Ilocos a lot because there are several gatherings in
Metro Manila and Ilocos Sur. Since this gained closure, we became one team that is
unstoppable from anything and everything.