I always want you ( Full story)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/48711715.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F
Fandom: BLACKPINK (Band), Chaelisa - Fandom, K-pop
Relationship: Lalisa Manoban | Lisa/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé, Chaelisa
Character: Park Chaeyoung | Rosé, Lalisa Manoban | Lisa, Jennie Kim, Kim Jisoo
(BLACKPINK), Choi Bina | Ashley
Additional Tags: Smut, Fluff, Angst, Praise Kink, First Kiss, First Time, Kinky, friends with
benefits ???, Friends to Lovers, Porn With Plot, Romance
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of I always want you collection
Stats: Published: 2023-07-19 Updated: 2023-08-12 Words: 9,399 Chapters:
5/?

I always want you ( Full story)

by sam1313

Summary

"Do you want me or do you not. I heard one thing, now im hearing another." Happiness is a
butterfly ~ Lana del rey

Lisa likes coming and going, and Rosé just wants answers.
 letsss goooooo

So I decided to take this idea and make a entire story on it. Get ready and Letsssss go.
 All mine ?
Chapter Summary

The majority if not the entirety of the story will take place rosies pov. Maybe ill do a
entire different work in just Lisa's pov.

" I am yours now, so now i don't ever have to leave" ~ Islands by the xx

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

March 27, 2017 10:55 pm Rosè Pov

Jisoo and I had just finished cutting up the cake and platting it. I quickly reached into the fridge
grabbing a beer for me and Lisa to share and a bottle of soju for Jennie and her. We had just gotten
back from getting dinner with the exception of dessert of course and decided we would eat the cake
that the three of us had prepared for Lisa back home accompanied by a movie.

Jisoo and I had agreed on getting the stuff ready while Unnie and Lisa picked out the movie. I
could hear Jennie yelling at Lisa to hurry up and pick before she did, not shortly after Lisa teasing
giggle. It would be a lie to say my stomach didn't fill a little with jealousy by their friendship
dynamic but I was ninety eight percent sure Jennie was straight. And I guess by default Lisa was
too, we had never really talked about crushes or what exactly we liked. Who we liked. The relief
that had settled my bubbling stomach had been once again taken by jealousy.

Pushing that to the back of my head I followed Jisoo into the living room, where lisa and Jennie
were sharing a blanket in the middle of the couch. I quickly turned my head toward the tv not
wanting to give my mind anymore material to add to my agony. Looking at the screen as i turned
the light off. I see they had settled on what seems to be a superhero movie. Making my way to the
far right side of the couch which also happened to be the right side of lisa. As Jisoo made her way
to the left of Jennie. Slightly turning toward Lisa to hand her plate of cake and before putting the
opened beer on the table in front us. Taking the other blanket that was thrown off the arm of the
couch, I unraveled it and settled in.

“ What are we watching ?”

Lisa side eyed me but it was Jennie that answered.

“ Deadpool”

Rolling my eyes at Lisa's slightly coldness, I leaned forward picking up the chilled beer from the
table, leaning back and reaching into my pocket. Taking my phone out, unlocking it and going into
Instagram. Refreshing the page but before I could really get a look at anything interesting. Lisa had
somehow silently strayed away from Jennie. Lifting my blanket and pulling herself into my
personal space.

Turning to me her breath tickled my ear as she whispered.

“ chaeyoung, watch”.

I immediately clicked my phone off and focused on what was on the screen. Mentally pinching
myself for being so submissive to her. She had taken the opportunity to lean in to me, her left arm
rested across my stomach and her head on my shoulder. Ironically as i looked up wade the main
character i presume was introducing himself to his love interest. I immediately could see that this
movie wasn't a typical pg-13 superhero film. Looking to the right at my unnies i could see Jisoo
leaned back with her eyes closed, most likely knocked out. Surprisingly since she had just sat down
not even ten minutes ago. Jennie was laid out on the couch, her head on Jisoo lap while her legs
were cramped in the space between her and lisa. It seems like she would shortly follow suit by the
way she would close her eyes for a long period of time before she opened them again. Doing what
Jisoo would call “ long blinks”. Looking back at the tv I see Wade and Vanessa leaving the bar.

As they talked on screen, Lisa started to shuffle a little. I assume she was starting to fall asleep as
well and wanted to get more comfortable. Instead she had slightly lifted her head, I could now feel
her breath on my lower neck and the top of my collar bone that was peeking out of my night shirt.
Small as it is, and probably with the help from the alcohol I had drunk at the restaurant and the
beer im mindlessly sipping now. which had most likely had helped relax my body, in order for
something as small as her breathing on me. For me to become aroused. Slightly pinching my thighs
together I tried to focus on the film. Which didn't help as they were fucking on a wall. Ironically.

“ are you watching”

Taking another sip from the beer I just nodded my head. I don't know what was going on in Lisa's
head or if she too was aroused by what was going on the tv and influenced by the alcohol. But
without any warning she turned her face into my neck. I was about to say something but I
immediately felt her hot wet tongue lick a trial to the corner of my jaw line. Then her plump lips
close to kiss the spot before starting to lightly suck on it.

Gripping the can tighter, I stilled. Not wanting to wake up Jisoo and Jennie and most importantly
because i didn't want this to end. The slow leak hidden beneath my sleep shorts and my underwear
was now a flowing river. My nipples that laid relaxed against my shirt were now hardened and
pressing against it. After rotating between softly biting my neck followed by a somewhat loving
kiss. The arm that rested across my stomach made its way to the other side of my face caressing my
cheek. Before turning my face toward her, her hand dropping into my lap.

Sitting up a little more, she leaned forward enough for her nose to nuzzle against mine. With my
mouth partly open and her following suit, we were essentially breathing in each other's mouths.
Recycling air between us. Looking up from her lips, to her big brown eyes that peeked under her
blonde bangs. Trying to see what was going on in her mind. Searching for something other than
lust. I could feel her hand that laid in my lap playing with the string on my shorts. She slowly
pulled on the sting untying the knot without looking away from my low eyes. Her hand then rested
on my lower stomach, the tip of her pinky finger barley sliding beneath my shorts.

“ can…… can i chaeng”

Moaning softly at the feeling of her words hitting my lips. I moved my head lower so that my
forward rested against hers. I had never done anything like this, well with no one else beside
myself. A girl got needs. I haven't even kissed anyone before, which was kinda embarrassing.
What twenty year old hasn't had their first kiss yet. I wasn't really thinking of the consequences or
the fact that our unnies were less than five feet away. All I could think about was lisa. How her
tongue felt, how warm her hand was against my skin. How in this moment she wanted me. How
little she did to get me so……. ready for her.
And how badly I wanted her.

Pulling my thighs apart. I answered.

“Please lisa”

I begged in a hushed whisper.

With no hesitation her hand disappeared underneath my shorts and underwear in one motion.
Engulfing the homemade pool of arousal she stirred in me.

“ Fuck, your so wet. Chaeng.”

She muttered as she cupped me. I moaned lowly against her lips and I instinctively tried to pull my
thighs together, perhaps embarrassed by how wet i was.

“ Relax. You have to be a good girl, chaeng and stay quiet, so I can take care of you. Okay?”

This was an entirely new side to Lisa, but I was not complaining. In fact the way she called me
“good girl” made me even more excited. I bite into my bottom lip to stop myself from smashing
my lips against her. Closing my eyes, I went to open my mouth but all that came out was a
whimper. So I just nodded.

“ Good girl……Spread a little more.”

Taking a shaky breath, I followed her instructions. Uncupping me, she slid her long fingers up to
my clit, rubbing it painfully slow with two fingers . Before she would stop and tap on it, then repeat
the cycle. I gripped the beer can tighter in my left hand.

“ I wish you could see yourself. How sexy you look. The way you're trying so hard to be a good girl
and not make a sound. How sexy you always look.”

I opened my eyes as the last words left her mouth. Surprise that she viewed me as someone worthy
of being called sexy. Looking directly into her eyes I saw a spark of something other than lust,
something deeper before it disappeared. Moving her fingers away from my clit and lower toward
my entrance. Tapping on it.

“ Take your right hand and stoke your nipple through your shirt.”

Remembering my empty right hand, I mentally kicked myself for not using it to touch her. Slowly I
brought it up to my left nipple that was poking against my shirt. Using my thumb I hesitantly
stroked it a few times. Breathing heavily through my nose at the sensation, I don't know if it was
because she was commanding me while she watched or the fact that she was so close to entering
me. But they felt more sensitive, adding to my already overflowing pleasure.

Tapping my entrance once more, she entered me with one finger.

“ ahh”

I couldn't help myself from releasing what I hoped was a low moan. It must have been cause she
continued to push further into me.

“ You're so tight, Rosie. Am i the first ?…….. the first to touch you?”

I ignored her question, closing my eyes. I just focused on staying as quiet as possible. If my hand
had stopped playing with my nipple. Wanting all my pleasure to come from her long fingers. When
her entire finger was in me she waited a moment to allow me to adjust.

“ Are you okay ? ”

She asked in a tiny voice. Bring my right hand to ball up her shirt, needing something to grab on. I
nodded my slightly sweaty forehead once again against hers. With no hesitation she started moving
her finger. Fingering me slowly into a more pleasurable pace. I was glad for the action from the
movie to have picked up. Hopefully it was covering some of my moans that I couldn't seem to
contain.

“ fuck rosie. Is it all mine?”

Leaning my head off hers and instead into the crock of her neck. To help counsel some of my
moans. But not before answering her question.

“ aha…. Its….. its all yours…. lili”

Whether it was the sound of my pants picking up or maybe she could feel it. Or perhaps she
wanted to really claim what I had just said was hers. She had expertly added a second finger
without slowing down. Instead she had picked up the pace, with addition to the added finger she
would also hit my clit with her palm. Letting go of her shirt I slide my hand up to cradle the left
side of her face. I know it won't be long now.

“ All mine, all mine’s, baby .”

As soon as the words left her mouth. All the pressure she whined out of me was released. I came,
with my face smashed into her neck and my right hand on jaw. She pumped me a few times,
longating it before pulling out of me and my shorts completely. The movie must have ended cause
all that i could hear was our panting. Moving my head away from her neck and back to rest my
forehead back against hers. For the first time since we started she wasn't looking at me, with just
the light of the screen. I could see her panting with her eyes closed. As if she was the one who
came, moving my thumb I stroked her lower lip.

“ lis... Lisa look at me. Please.”

Slowly opening her eyes, we stared into each other. In that moment I allowed her to consume me.
Allowed myself to let her consume me. To be entirely consumed by her. I tilted my head and
leaned down. For the second time in my life I was going for an all or nothing moment. I was going
to kiss Lisa, I was going to taste her. Feel her plump pink lips against mine.

But before I could close the gap, she turned away. Before completely leaning away. I could already
feel my eyes watering, from her rejection. Before i got the chance to say anything i heard Jennie
and Jisoo move to sit up before Jisoo spoke.

“ The movie is done that quick. Well happy birthday lalisa, but I'm going to sleep.”

My eyebrows jumped at the playful remark Lisa said next, as well as her fingers interlocking into
mine. Followed by her squeezing.

“ unnie you and Jennie slept through the whole movies”

“ no, we were long blinking”

 I just sat there silently while they talked. Not fully knowing how to react. I didn't really get the
chance to reflect because soon enough Jennie and jisoo were making their way toward each other's
individual rooms. Leaving me and Lisa alone. Standing up with our fingers still interlocked, she
looked down at me.

“ Are we okay rosie?”

Looking up from our hands. I nodded. Why, I don't know.

“ y-yeah lisa, we are okay”

She let go of my hand before leaning down and kissing my check. Pausing for more time than
necessary before she quickly turned and disappeared into her room.

“ fuck”

Chapter End Notes

Let me know what you guys think........Any ideas ????

 Your in the wind, im in the water
Chapter Summary

If it bring me to my knees, its a bad religion ~ Bad religion - Frank ocean

Chapter Notes

I want to be as accurate as i can be but i probably cant hit every moment and vlive. Just
the ones i think are important to the relationship and story progression.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

March 31, 2017

Rosé P.o.v

Weirdly enough Lisa and I haven’t really been alone long enough to talk about what transpired
between us. Nonetheless if it will happen again. Truthfully, I wanted to be angry at her. Angry with
myself for allowing what is supposed to be a special moment, a gift of vulnerability and passion to
be taken on a couch. By someone who I wasn’t even sure felt the same way I did.

I wanted to be angry, I truly did, but then I would remember what she said.

“ All mine, all mine’s, baby .”

And all my anger was turn over by the burning need for her to touch me. Take me like she did on
that couch. To pump into me, claiming me as hers.

“ Good?”

Jisoo's voice brought me back to reality, the four of us were in the elevator making our way to an
empty room on the sixth floor to do a vlive. We were supposed to have a picnic but it was cloudy,
so change of plan's. Jisoo and I stood toward the back, behind Lisa and Jennie. Who are seamlessly
matching in black leather jackets. Mmm. It was as if the universe wanted to show me how more
perfect they look together.

In that moment Lisa put her arm around Jennie's shoulder pulling her in so she was leaning into
Lisa.

Looking away I stared down at shoes before turning to Jisoo to answer.

“Yeah, just a bit tired.”

“ oh, you had sleep paralysis too ?”

Looking at her confused, she elaborated.

“ Like Lisa? She said she saw a ghost and then had sleep paralysis the next day. A couple days
before her birthday.”

Lisa turned due to hearing her name, her arm moving off Jennie’s shoulder as she pointed a finger
at Jisoo.

“Unnie!, don’t talk about the ghost.”

The doors opened as jisoo flicked Lisa pointed finger, joining Jennie as they exited. Clearly over
the just beginning conversation.

“ ah, just forget it. Feel better chaeng”

Lightly chuckling, I exited the elevator. Following them down the hallway toward the open door
one of our managers was holding open. Well I was until Lisa turned in front of me, making me
stop. Looking up from the labels of her jacket pass her red plump lips to her eyes.

“ Are we okay rosie?”

The same question she had asked me five days ago. The exact same words she had said, paired
with the identical innocent look in her eyes. Only this time my juices weren’t smeared on her right
hand. I immediately stilled.

Taking longer to answer than what she wanted, she started to nervously rant while shoving her
hand into her black jeans.

“ Maybe later we can hang out ? Just the two of us. Maybe…. talk about what happened?

Her saying that she also wanted to talk about what happened, struck a relief in me. I wasn’t the
only one, still thinking about what happened and confused about what it meant. Clearing my throat,
I answered

“Yeah lisa, we’re okay”

The majority of the first vlive I just snacked on the fruit and occasionally joined in on the
conversation.

There was one instant where I had finished singing a part of “If it is you”. Leaning slightly on Lisa
I had gone straight back to nipping on a piece of fruit, when she turned to me. Opening her mouth,
indicating that she wanted to give her the final piece. Instead feeling brave I quickly looked at her
lips, pursued mine and jerked forward.

Non flinching she kept her mouth open while staring at the fruit.

“Yeah”

Popping it into my mouth. She turned toward the camera with a playful frown. I went back to
zoning out with the occasional reactions . Popping back and forth in the conversation for the
remainder of the livestream. There was a moment where Jennie had asked Lisa what she had done
for her birthday, most likely prompted by the fans asking in the comments. She answered after
laughing.

“ I slept all day”

Which was true she did sleep the majority of the day before we had gotten ready to leave for
dinner. She didn’t elaborate so I guessed she wanted to keep those moments within the group. She
always knew how to keep the majority of her private life, well private. Not shortly after we ended
the live, bouncing from place to place while still being on live. Until we ended back at the
building. This time we were in an empty rehearsal room.

Truthfully I was a little tired when we first started but after eating and having something sweet.
Along with there being no awkward tension and a promise to talk later with Lisa. I felt energetic
and carefree, dancing and jumping around as Jennie ran to get Kuma. Using him as our special
guest.

Revealing him to the camera, we quickly took a family shoot huddling close before deciding to sit.
Lisa originally to the left of Jennie switched to her right. Which happened to be my left. My heart
saying she moved closer to me but my brain yelled that the true reason was because she wanted to
hold Kuma. Which was true as she had grabbed him, forcing him to reenact our boombayah
choreography. He ended up leaving her just to circle Jennie and come right to me, I always had a
way with animals.

“ Kuma! You’re here, baby”

Leaning slightly against Lisa as the four of us talked about the games we used to play during when
we were trainees.

“Chaeyoung, want to sing?”

Jisoo suggested, starting me a little at the sudden change of subject. Honestly I was still a little
nervous and shy when it came to just me singing. Especially when I had to perform, I was still
working on my confidence to be honest. Perhaps it was all the criticism I received during my
trainee years.

“Chaeyoung couldn’t sing for round three”

That stung in more ways than one. I just stayed quiet hoping they would change the subject.
Hoping to be soon so I don’t have to relive the sadness I felt when I walked off the stage. Feeling
as if I let my nervousness affect my performance. Resulting my elimination.

Lisa switched into a squatting position, leaning forward a little. I could feel the tips of her fingers
that were pressed into the floor to stabilize her touch mine. As if she could tell it still saddened me
and she was sending me encouragement.

“I trembled, way more than you can imagine.”

“ For your next personal broadcast you should do “Only look at me”.

I know Jisoo was aware of the hold Lisa had on me, but I wasn’t completely sure to what extent. I
mean I wasn’t really hiding my interest in Lisa, I didn’t really know how. I wasn’t used to
withholding myself. I love how authentic I am.

“No”

Throwing my head back, leaning somewhat fully on Lisa. As Jisoo went into detail about how I
should put back on what I performed in and reenact the song.
What surprised me was the fact that Lisa agreed with Jisoo, grabbing my shoulder she yelled to our
manager to put the song on.

Switch her position again so that her right leg was behind me and her arm touching my lower back.
As is she was trying to hype me up to sing.

“Rearrange it?”

Playing around I decided to sing it out of pitch. My plan seemed to work because the attention
switched back to Kuma, not for long though. As I playfully sung a song from the little mermaid.

“Stand up, with a dance”

Feeling more relaxed with this choice of song. I listened to her command and actually got up and
gave a somewhat performance. Grabbing Lisa hand as she tried to interrupt me. Bring it up as a
microphone as I sung the next words, hoping she picked up on the double meaning.

“ I want more”

She sang the words with me but I wasn’t sure if she got the message. Deciding to not think about it
too hard I just giggled it off and ended the song.

“ Didn’t you make this Jacket?”

I retrieved back to my shy side as Jisoo one, kept the spotlight on me and noticed that I was in fact
wearing something that I had in fact made. My stomach churned a little due to the fact that she
knew me so well.

“I made it but it got out of control.”

I began showing it off as Lisa and Jisoo went into detail about how they saw me ripped and cut it
into my desirable fashion.

Lifting my arms above my head to fully show it off, my stomach came into view. Lisa, taking this
opportunity. Dragged her nails against the exposed skin. While also slightly cupping the bottom of
my left breast.

“Sorry”

Having no idea why I was apologizing, I just continued to show it off.

“ Chaeyoung, do your cheesy dance.”

“Why is the spotlight on me? You really turned it on me?

Question as I looked at the manager for confirmation. Standing up I obeyed her wishes, feeling shy
on how cheesy it was choreographed.

Finally the focus fell back onto Kuma, who laid in Jennie’s lap. Kuma didn’t enjoy all the attention
on him as he tried to duck his head into her lap, before deciding to just get up and leaving.

Lisa leaned her head on Jennie as Jisoo passed her the camera stick. They started singing a song
from tangled, not wanting to lose her attention. I leaned on her shoulder. Joining in they sang, soon
we were all singing the song.

As the song continued she went back to forth. Flirting between me and Jennie. One moment
caressing my head pulling me into her. The next turning to Jennie cupping her face and pretending
to kiss her, before following through and kissing her cheek.

I was used to her hot and coldness but it stung a little more now.
Pulling away I just focused on reading the comments. Until I saw a comment regarding Lisa.

“ They asked Lisa to talk about Thailand.”

“ Thailand?”

Leaning forward she began to speak Thai. From the little knowledge I had of the Thai language I
knew she had introduced us. Tapping on her hand.

“ you sang a song ?”

Turning to me nodded her head. Before continuing to speak. I interrupted again.

“Teach me how to speak Thai”

“You know”

Clearing my throat, reciting the little I know. Maybe I could get her to teach me more advance
words. Granted our talk later goes well. I would hate to fuck up our friendship with my feelings. I
tried to push them down but when you spend the majority of your time with someone. It’s difficult
for feelings to just fade.

I never really knew where I stood with Lisa, who knew someone could be so simple and
complicated at the same time.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even realize that she had readjusted. Wanting to see if she
would notice me giving her the same treatment I went back to reading the comments.

It seemed she had noticed cause I felt her hand on my back, jumping at the contact. I tried to play it
off but everyone saw. She pulled away.

Jisoo took the chance to take control of the conversation, once again teasing Lisa on her singing.
Before bringing up that song again.

If it is you.

Lucky for me we just song a part of it, before deserting it. Or so I thought.

“ why did you choose the song for king of mask singer”

Jisoo asked.

“ Reason ?”

“Yes”

Smiling, I didn't know what exactly to say, but then she started to sing “Livin La Vida Loca”.
Grateful I answered.

“ it’s just exciting”

Seeing Jennie tap on Jisoo, and Lisa not really pay attention. I addressed the fans, while playing
with my shoe laces.

“If it is you. It’s about a crush.”

I confessed while looking at Lisa through the screen. I nervously laughed before staring at my
sneakers. Even if she heard she didn’t really react. I guess nothing is better than completely pulling
away.

Ten minutes or so later we decided to end this live and turn in ch+. Jisoo turned to Lisa

“Please speak Thai”

“Old sis Jisoo, old sis Lisa, old sis Jennie,”

She said in Thai as she pointed at each of us.

“ Friend Chaeyoung”

Well being friend zoned is better than being family zoned, I’ll take it.

Switching to channel plus.

We again started talking about Kuma, before Jennie and Jisoo started to ramble in Chinese.
As they entered their own conversation, Lisa moved so she was again in a squat-like position.
When she got comfortable, I leaned into her before taking her hand in mine. Only staying for a
minute or two before letting go and leaning off her.

We shared shy glances through the screen, as Jisoo and Jennie talked about their trip to Jeju island
with her family. Before she moved forward, putting her arms around my shoulder. Somewhat
holding me, while giving me quick air kisses behind my ear then one long one.

~~~~~~ back at the dorm————-

As we rode the elevator up to our floor, Jisoo and Jennie were discussing whether they should take
a nap or play a match of overwatch first.

I took this moment to wonder how exactly I can bring up the conversation between Lisa and I. And
what exactly I would say. Before I could get too pulled into my thoughts, I felt Lisa press her hand
underneath jacket. Scratching her nails along my back before leaning up to my ear.

“Come to my room”

Again embarrassed about how easily she had control of my body. I just nodded paired with a shaky
breath.

As the doors opened she moved from behind me, throwing her arms over Jennie and Jisoo as they
left the elevator. I followed a few steps behind. I guess they decided to take a nap because as I
entered the dorm everyone was making their way to their own rooms.

Well, except me.

Her door was partly opened, so I was unsure if I had to knock or not. My inner battle was silented
as she peeked her head out.

“ Are you coming?”

Nodding, I stepped in as she held the door fully open. I walked in.

We walked to the center of the room before I nervously sat on the edge of her bed. She chose to
remain standing.
“ listen. I don't really know what to say. I don’t want to ruin our friendship or anything. It’s just.
You-You were flirting with that server. He was all over you and you- you. And I- ”

She said while pointing an accusing finger at me. What server was she even talking about?

“ What server are you even talking about ? You don’t make no sense, if anything you're being
hypocritical. Since you spent the majority of the day flirting with Jennie”

I responded with an eye roll. Becoming angered by her words, before I was suddenly filled with
confidence. Standing up from her bed I walked toward her.

“ Did you regret it ? Is that why you pulled away when I tried to kiss you ?

“Chae-“

She was interrupted by her phone ringing. Reaching into her pocket she pulled it out. Glancing at
the caller id before answering it. She started speaking in Thai so I came to the conclusion that it
was most likely a family or friend from back home.

Already feeling exhausted by the day, and the way the conversation had been going. I didn’t feel as
if I had enough energy to finish it. Turning to leave and return to the safety of my room. I began
walking to the door, bumping into her shoulder as i passed. I had grabbed the doorknob when I felt
her arm wrapping around my waist, back hugging me. Unsure what to do I tried to turn in face her
but she tightened her grip. she walked us slightly forward, so that my forehead leaned against the
door.

I could still hear someone else speaking so I knew she was still on the phone. The arm that was
around my waist, slowly made its way down toward my jeans. Honestly it would be a lie to say I
was turned on, I was ever since she had touched me in the elevator.

She used her left foot to nudge my legs to spread, and I obeyed. She reached into my jeans,
bypassing my underwear. Not stopping, she went straight toward my entrance.

“Quietly”

Returning her attention back to me she spoke to me in Korean. Nodding against the door. Her
nudging her nose against my ear was my only warning, before she entered me with two fingers.

I knew from the roughness and speed of the way her fingers were working me. That this wouldn’t
go as long as it did when we were on the couch. Bring my hand up to cover my mouth, trying to
stay silent as she continued her conversation. Her speaking in her native tongue against my ear was
an added bonus. I always found it incredibly attractive when she spoke Thai, but it entered a whole
new dimension when she was inside me.

The way her voice was deeper, somewhat rougher, I would give anything to hear her moan my
name in the same deepness.

I was burning up, and my legs were starting to shake. I was close, so close. And she could tell. Re-
angling her fingers she had somehow reached deeper inside me. Along with adding an additional
finger. Shrieking into my hand I came five pumps later. My hands came to rest on the door as my
body needed a moment to reboot.

She slowed before stopping. Her way of grounding me from my high, before she withdrew herself
from inside me.
I whimpered as she pulled out. Stepping away from me she continued her conversation with
 whoever she was on the phone with.

Yet again I allowed her to use me. Swallowing, I again reached for the door handle, turning it. And
exited the room with no resistance.

Later that night after showering and crawling into my bed. I laid staring at my ceiling, still not
being able to wrap around what happened. And why I keep allowing it to happen. And why it felt
so good to be used by her.

Maybe we didn’t have to talk about it ? Maybe it's better this way. If we didn’t talk there was no
way to ruin our friendship, if we had different expectations.

Frowning. The question of if she did this with someone else reentered my mind. she seemed really
experience. And if so, who? Before I could go down the rabbit hole of people she could possibly
played this game with. My phone went off.

Reaching toward my dresser, I snatched it off the charger. Glancing at the time, I wonder who it
could be this late. Lisa’s name appeared on the Home Screen, I see she texted me. As I unlocked it
to respond, her caller id appeared. She was now calling me. With shaky hands I answered.

“Hey”

Clearing my throat I responded.

“Hey”

“ I-i .. are you … are we ….okay rosie?”

Squeezing my eyes shut, that fucking question again. I was glad she didn’t decide to FaceTime.

No, no I wasn’t okay. I was so confused, I had so many questions. So many things I need to know.
To understand. Like what was this? Was I the only one ? And why she pulled away when I tried to
kiss her ?

“ Hello? Chaeng? ”

Thinking back to what I agreed on earlier.

I chose to lie.

I chose to lie, I made a trade. She can use me this way and I the same.

Equal trade, right?

“Yeah, Lisa we are okay”

Chapter End Notes

:) My bad about any grammar mistakes, i was rushing. Let me know what you think in
the comments.
 Pleasure of matter
Chapter Summary

Dim the lights and fall into you, you. ~ pink matter - frank ocean

Chapter Notes

Sorry for skipping but i want to move into 2018. We will see a more dominate rosie
soon.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

July 7, 2017- November 15, 2017

Rosé P.o.v

It's been almost half a year since Lisa and I have been doing … I don't even know. Hooking up ? I
guess you can call it that. Better yet it's been almost half of a year of Lisa sneaking into my room
after midnight, before sneaking back out at the break of dawn. After the second time against the
door we went back to how we were before. Her being all over me before ditching me for Jennie.
We still hugged and stuff but she never made a move to go any further so i didn't either. I thought
that was it, maybe it was a two time thing. Until one night after we finished a radio interview with
super K-pop.

I don't know what it was about that day, she was fine until we got the ideal types of guys part in the
interview. Her coldness after leaving was different, she withdrew from all of us. Not even making
jokes with Jisoo or cuddling with Jennie.

I was laying in bed on my side on the brink of falling to sleep, when she silently came in. As she
came in she waited with her head against the door looking like she was contemplating something.
So I stayed silently ,watching. Seeming to make her mind, she carefully got in. Lifting the covers
she scooted in behind me so she was molded into me, right arm around my lower stomach. We
stayed like this for a minute just spooning. I guess she could tell I was awake, because she started
to kiss my shoulder. Staying there before kissing up to my ear.

“ Are you awake?”

“ yes”

I felt her nod before the hand that was on my lower stomach, slowly made its way under my shirt.
but not before moving the blanket completely off us both. Leaving a burning sensation as it made
its way up to my left breast, before taking it in her giant hand. I was a little embarrassed, as how
easily she could cover it entirely. She didn't seem to mind as she ran her thumb over my nipple
before lightly pinching it. Biting my lip to keep from moaning as she did so. She however didn’t
like that. Pinching it harder this time.

“ I want to hear you.”’

Not being able to stop my moan this time I unknowingly obeyed. Moaning as she played with both
of my breasts, going between running her thumb across my hard nub. Before taking them in
between her two fingers and pinching HARD. This along with her excited pants against my ear, had
me wet in no time. Wanting more i started to lightly hump the air while begging her for more.

“ Pleas..L-lisa...m-more”

“You want this?”

She asked as she stopped playing with my breast, dragging them down my stomach as I answered.

Yes..please”

I asked desperately, missing her touch.

“ You only want me right ?”

She asked as she pushed into my sleeping shorts, waiting for confirmation as she stilled over my
underwear. As much as I wanted her to take what I was so willing to give her, I wanted one thing
more.

“W-wait”

She stilled immediately against me.

“You don’t want this ?”

“No”

“Oh….. I’ll go”

She said as she yanked her hand out of my shorts, and turning to get out the bed.

“NO ,no. I meant..”

She stopped her escape as I spoke, breathing out. I turned so we faced each other. Looking into her
eyes as I spoke my next words.

“I want you…. I want you to. I just..”

She settled back onto the pillow, her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

“ Just what ? ”

I moved my hand to caress her cheek ,before moving my thumb down to her bottom lip. My eyes
followed my movement. Rubbing my thumb across her lip, I look back at her eyes. Well i hope i
was, since it was pitch black in my room.

“ I want….

Clearing my throat and licking my lips.

“ I want you to kiss me.”

Grabbing my hand, she brought it away from her face. Looking down, I signed. Taking that as her
rejecting me, again. Instead she ended up just dropping it between us on the mattress, before
placing her hand on my lower back. She pushed on it. Prompting me to move closer to her, when
we were close enough for me to feel her breathing on my face. She began slowly leaning forward, I
smiled as our nose brushed against each other. I felt as she matched my smile before she slightly
tilted her head. Closing my eyes as she closed the gap between us, taking my bottom between hers.

Yet again claiming another of my first.

We simultaneously signed out our noses. She had yet to move but I was addicted, she was
intoxicating. She tasted sweet and spicy. Like she was laced with an addicting heat that died out
after a few seconds. Forcing you to come back for more. Moving back she let my lip go, whining
not wanting to stop. I surged forward, taking her face in my hands as I took her lips back.

We kissed slowly, moaning into each other as we explored each other's mouths. Only pulling away
just far enough and long enough to breathe or readjust. It stayed this way for a while. Before it
became sloppier, her hand that was on my back had slipped under my shirt. Gripping into my skin,
as if I would disappear.

Wanting to continue what we were doing before, I rolled her on her back. Sitting up, I straddled
her. She stayed layed on her back in shock. Taking this opportunity I began unbuttoning my shirt,
my nerves betrayed me as I got lower and lower. Sitting up she took my shaky hands in hers,
kissing them lightly before unbuttoning the last one.

Reaching into my shirt as she finished, she began kissing the exposed skin until we were again face
to face. Speaking in between each kiss.

“ You…
Are…
So….
Beautiful”

Blushing as she did so. Looking back down she kissed in between my breast, before reaching up to
the shirt dragging it down my arms. As it fell to the bed her hand slid up to the back of my neck,
bringing me down for another kiss. Whispering before pressing hers to mine.

“ Never forget it.”

Even though we had entered a more soft moment, her kiss was more aggressive. Matching her
aggression I bit her bottom lip, before opening more so she could slip her tongue in. Her arms
wrapped around my naked torso squeezing me into her as I softly sucked on her tongue. Moaning
as i did so.

Detaching her lips from me she kissed down to my collarbone, gently biting them. Flipping us, Lisa
gently laid me on my back while we kissed. She laid in between my legs. Kissing down to the
middle of my breast, she kept her aggressive approach. Sucking hard enough to leave hickeys in her
trail, before moving to my right breast. Taking my nipple into her hot silky mouth, licking it a few
times before sucking hard on it. Leaving hickeys as she switched, she had started to whisper in thai.
But I couldn't really focus long enough to use my limited knowledge to translate. As she made her
way lower she hooked her fingers into my shorts pulling them down. Stopping her trail to fully pull
them down.

“ take yours off too”

Not wasting time she hopped off the bed, throwing her shirt off and pulling down both her
underwear and pajama pants in one pull. She didn't give me a chance to appreciate her naked body
before stationing back in between my legs.

Kissing my hip she made her way down to my thigh, then inner thigh. Slightly flinching at the new
sensation, making her way down to my folds. I could feel her breathing on it. She nudged my
soaked core with her nose before licking it. Throwing my head back I let out a low moan knowing
that we aren't alone in the house.

Her tongue was everywhere as she picked up speed. Working her tongue bottom to top, making
sure she hit the sides before returning to my center. The only sounds that filled up my room was
my frantic panting and tongue making contact with me.

“Fuck”

I said as I gripped the sheets. Hooking my thighs in her arms, my legs spreading more allowing her
deeper in me. Taking my clit in her mouth she began to suck on it. Needing to touch her I reached
down.

“ aha… god… more… p-please.”

Unhooking one thigh she brought a finger up to my entrance, entering me as she continued to eat.
Pumping into me before adding another, twisting as she pulled in and out. As it got more intense I
brought one of my arms up covering my mouth. Sucking hard on my clit, my back lifts off the
mattress as i cum with no preparation.

She continued to drink from me, cleaning the mess I made while I collected myself. Finishing, she
kissed a path back up to my lips. Laying on me in a way that was comfortable for both of us.
Kissing her I tasted myself on her lips.

“ interesting”

“ yeah,you taste good”

Not saying anything I just leaned back and kissed her. Not really sure what I was doing, but
knowing I wanted to make her feel as good as she made me. I just recited what she did to me.
Reaching between us as our kiss picked up, not stopping until I cupped her most intimate part.
Pulling out of the kiss as I did so, I simply chased her bringing our lips back together. Moving to
rub her clit, she detached our lips again. Moving again to reclaim them, stopping my pursuit as she
spoke. Her eyes still closed.

“Wait, rosie”

“What? You don’t want me ?”

Leaning down she gave me a hard kiss, opening her eyes she answered.

“ I do, I want you.”

Going back to rubbing her clit, I asked her again.

“Okay?”

Nodding, she cursed before going back to kissing me. Her kisses got sloppier the more I rubbed.
Stopping my rubbing I went further down to her entrance, slipping a finger inside slowly.

“Fuc-ah”
 She arched into me as I thrusted my finger in and out slowly. Staying at this pace before adding
another finger as she got used to the feeling. Picking up the pace as well.

“ Is this good ? ”

“God… yes”

She responded as she began to move to meet my thrust. Her breathing picked up telling me that she
was close, I added a third finger. Moving to her head to the left, she spoke in between moans. She
was directly in my ear but I had no idea what she had said.

“ฉันต้องการคุณอย่างมาก” ( i want you so badly)

As she finished her body clenched, coming against my hand. Her breathing was still ragged as I
pulled out of her.

Rolling off of me she laid onto her back. I turned onto my side watching as her chest moved with
every breath.

“ Are we okay?”

Looking at me, she nodded. Motioning me forward, I moved to lay my head on her chest. My hand
stroking her naked skin as I waited. Wrapping her arms as she spoke.

“ Yeah, we're okay. Let’s sleep, we have to get up in a few.”

Closing my eyes as she pecked my head. It wasn’t long before I let my exhaustion take over. When
I woke, she was gone. As much as it hurt to wake up alone I knew she couldn’t stay.

Not wanting to risk her pulling away and stopping “this” from happening again. Because I would
rather her to touch me this way then not at all. I didn't make a big deal of it, not asking her to talk
or even bring it up. That was the first and last night we kissed however, even though she climbed in
my bed every night or every other. Making each other come before slipping out when I fell into
unconsciousness, I would try to stay awake some times to see her leave. As if she could tell what I
was doing she would climb back on me, and make me come as much as it took for me to be too
tired to fight the exhaustion.

I wanted to talk about it with Ashley or Alice but I didn't want them to look at her differently. And i
know for sure i couldn't talk with Jennie or Jisoo about it. So I just suffered in silence, enjoying her
touches in secret.

Well that was until all four of us were pulled into a meeting with the CEO, a little rattled to see a
camera crew following us as we sat down. Joining us he informed us that a crew would come in
within the next two days to install cameras in each room. He continued to tell us that it was
temporary, as we would be moving to a house in order to film a reality youtube show named
“Blackpink House”. Telling us to be on our best behavior because we will be on camera, being
watched the majority of the day for about a little over three months. While in the meeting we
caught each other's eyes knowing our agreement would have to come to a stop, until filming was
over.

That night I waited to see if she would sneak in one last time before the cameras were installed but
she never came.

Chapter End Notes

Chapter End Notes

“ฉันต้องการคุณอย่างมาก” ( i want you so badly)

Correct me if its wrong i used google translate.

 Self control
Chapter Summary

Sorry !!!!!! I took such a long break. Health concerns :(

anyways back to it.

Blackpink house

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

November 25 2017 - December 1 2017

Rosé pov

It has been about a week since we moved into the new Blackpink house. I remember how excited
we were while packing and even during the car ride over. Jisoo sat in the passenger seat. Jennie
and Lisa in the middle. And me in the back, directly behind Lisa. The way we both recognized
where we were and the memories.

“Are we really…”

“Oh my! It’s this way. Really.”

“We use to come here so often”

It wasn't long after that that we found the house. It was beautiful. I keep saying it was my dream
house as we explored, jumping around as I saw all the upgrades. But also taking note of all the
cameras.

I was a little nervous when we saw that we would be sharing rooms. Not because I didn’t want to
share a room but because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to control myself if I shared it with Lisa.

I never knew how accustomed I was to our nightly visits. Weirdly enough, us doing it almost every
night kinda made my body used to the feeling. It definitely helps me to fall asleep easier. And
though she never stayed so that we could wake up to each other in the morning, it had become our
routine.

Me falling asleep in her arms.

I just don’t think I could handle it, I was already barely holding back from kissing her again. But in
the end, me and Jisoo end up rooming together.
And Jennie and Lisa in the other.

I had no problem with it until it was time to go to sleep.

“ Why do I hear thumps ?”

There were a few times where I forgot how many eyes were watching us and got too close. Like
when we were decorating the tree, but she pulled away before anything happened. I couldn’t help
it. I missed her touches.

As I packed for our vacation within vacation to Thailand, I wonder if anything will change. She
really didn’t give that indication though, she was still close but not as close as I wanted her to be. I
was excited to finally see where she was born and raised. I wanted to see all the places she had
talked to me about, but most importantly I was excited about all the authentic Thai food we will
eat.

She did cling to me a bit more as we walked through the airport. Throwing an arm around her
shoulder as we made our way to get some breakfast.

“ business class”

“Is this a hotel ?”

After grabbing some bread and Jam, along with some porridge and drinks. We made our may to an
empty room to enjoy.

Checking the time I see that we will be boarding soon, knowing how anxious my mom gets when I
travel abroad I facetime her.

As I set the phone up, Jennie turns to me.

“Let me pick cause it’s my mom”

Laughing I turn the phone so she’s the only one in view, seeing my mom look of confusion. I turn
it so I’m seen on screen. Saying hi before turning it so the other girls can say hello as well.

“I’ll travel safe mom.”

Trying to end the call, but Jisoo grabbed the phone.

“ How are orange and eunhee?”

Smiling as she asked.

“ Something sad happened today.”

Snatching the phone back as I asked what happened. She informed me that one had passed away. I
automatically thought the worst and started to cry at the fact that orange had passed. Only to find
out that it was the small yellow one, I was relieved but still saddened.

Not long after we boarded the plane, as Lisa and i refreshed ourselves with a drank she turned to
me.

“How are you?”

“ I’m excited. Thailand.”

“ You don’t look excited enough, give me more.”

“Thailand!”

Laughing, we relaxed until the inflight meal rolled out. Before knocking out the rest of the flight.
To my surprise there was a huge crowd waiting for us as we landed. Tired, I just sat in the back
quietly next to Lisa. Looking at her I see she was staring down at her phone.
“Are you okay ?”

“Just waiting for my mom to respond, she usually texts me when I arrive.”

“It’s late, maybe she’s sleeping?”

“ maybe.”

“ Are you okay ?”

“ This is nice. So this is what it’s like to go on vacation. I’m happy.”

Jisoo cuts into our conversation.

“ What do you mean?”

Not answering, I just laughed. As we got to the hotel Jennie and i decided to room together as we
saw the bigger room. As i showered i wondered if i should talk to my hubby about what's going on
but i staying awake long enough to just shower and do my skin care.

The first real night in Thailand was amazing, we had brunch at this restaurant called blue elephant.
I couldn’t get enough. The food was so good and had spice that you couldn’t get in Korea. Then we
went to a market and did some shopping, while so Lisa got recognized. After that we went back to
our hotel we’re we were surprised with lunch by Lisa’s family.

We all became emotional as we saw them reunite. I watched how relieved Lisa was as they
hugged, remembering how worried she was when her mom didn’t text her back. I knew exactly
how she felt being so far from home and missing out on family holidays and celebrations. I am
grateful that my family moved to Korea to be with me.

We ended the night with dinner at this rooftop restaurant, where we took pictures and talked about
the struggles we saw Lisa go through as a trainee. And as the sun set we sat and ate dinner.

This morning we went to a brunch spot where we grubbed down. I’m truly blinded when it comes
to food, we end up deciding to walk to the hotel to unstuff ourselves. We sat on the couch watching
tv and slowly entering a food coma, up until the doorbell rang.

And what we thought was a cake was a trip to Koh Samui. Our full sleeping bodies once again
revived at the thought of the resort.

................. FLASH FORWARD TO THE NIGHT..........................

This would be the first time we are sharing a room since we stopped. Laying in bed I waited as she
finished her routine and joined me. Both of us laying on our side turned to each other. I couldn’t
take it anymore, whispering as I spoke I confessed.

“ I wish you would kiss me again.”

Saying nothing she just sighed, as I continued to ramble while shutting my eyes.

“It’s just you kissed me that night after the radio interview. But then you never did again, even
though you climbed in my bed almost every night. And I thought maybe it was just too much, but
it was okay cause at least you came to me at night. And I used that to distract me from thinking
about what you actually want and why you won’t kiss me again. But then we moved into
blackpink house and all these cameras were everywhere. And I started to miss you. I miss you so
 much. so I was excited when we came to Thailand cause less cameras but …… “

“But ?”

“ but you haven’t done anything. And I have this sickening feeling, it is not affecting you the way
it is for me. Because it’s never..... really meant....... anything to you.”

“Chaeyoung, Rosie. Every second I’m with you matters to me. Yes, it’s true I’ve been distant but
only because I'm trying to withhold myself. I miss you too, I just don’t want to fuck up.”

Opening my eyes, i looked at her lips. Asking again for confirmation.

“ So you just didn’t want fuck up ?”

“ I always want you, Roseanne.”

“ but wait, what about you not kissing me ?”

She didn’t respond, instead she moved closer to me. When we were close enough to feel each
other's breath, she threw the blanket over our heads. Frowning, I looked at her confused.

“ What are you doing ?”

Again ignoring my question, she clumsy moved her hand up to the back of my head. Playing with
the hairs before leaning forward and kissing me. We stayed like this before I opened and let her in.
We kissed passionately before she pulled away. Looking directly in my eyes as we layed under the
cover. She repeated what she said earlier, as if she was trying to anchor the thought in me.

“I always want you.”

Chapter End Notes

Something short and sweet. top chaeng coming next chap.

Please comment more :) i like to interreact and get ideas.
sorry for typos.

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