Noisy Oxford

A Short Story
by John Doe

Albert Thornton was thinking about Susan Torrance again. Susan was a patient gamer with brunette
fingernails and pink warts.

Albert walked over to the window and reflected on his dirty surroundings. He had always loved noisy
Oxford with its broad, brainy beaches. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel concerned.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a patient figure of Susan
Torrance.

Albert gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a cowardly, tight-fisted, cocoa drinker with
beautiful fingernails and fragile warts. His friends saw him as an alive, adorable academic. Once, he
had even helped a jolly baby cross the road.

But not even a cowardly person who had once helped a jolly baby cross the road, was prepared for
what Susan had in store today.

The sun shone like skipping horses, making Albert sparkly. Albert grabbed a squidgy sausage that had
been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Albert stepped outside and Susan came closer, he could see the nice smile on her face.

"Look Albert," growled Susan, with a sweet glare that reminded Albert of patient dogs. "It's not that I
don't love you, but I want a resolution. You owe me 6715 gold pieces."

Albert looked back, even more sparkly and still fingering the squidgy sausage. "Susan, what a spiffing
dress," he replied.

They looked at each other with cross feelings, like two tan, tricky tortoises cooking at a very gentle
snow storm, which had reggae music playing in the background and two kind uncles partying to the
beat.

Albert regarded Susan's brunette fingernails and pink warts. "I don't have the funds ..." he lied.

Susan glared. "Do you want me to shove that squidgy sausage where the sun don't shine?"

Albert promptly remembered his cowardly and tight-fisted values. "Actually, I do have the funds," he
admitted. He reached into his pockets. "Here's what I owe you."

Susan looked sleepy, her wallet blushing like a klutzy, knobby kettle.

Then Susan came inside for a nice mug of cocoa.

THE END