Savannah Jackson Jackson 1

Samantha Gonzalez

ENC1101-23Fall0024

25 November 2023

Response Letter

Dear Sam,

Thank you for providing me with feedback on Major Assignment Two. Seeing the suggestions

and comments you gave me was refreshing because although this essay scored well, you did not

claim that it was perfect. I knew it was not perfect as I was writing it. In addition to reviewing

your feedback, I also reviewed feedback from a peer on my first draft. After reading through

your comments, as well as my peers, I have made significant changes regarding my introduction,

thesis, and title.

The purpose of Major Assignment Two was to provide literary artifacts that I have produced

recently and evaluate the effectiveness of the artifacts using social actors and genres. Although I

understood the prompt of this paper from the start, I struggled immensely with this paper. I

switched my artifacts and framework twice before finding the best ones for me to use effectively.

My first draft opened with a long, satirical story about why I don’t listen to music before it

suddenly shifted to my experience as a graphic designer. Although my peer enjoyed the story and

thought it was hilarious, she asked me “Why did you start with music if your essay is about

graphic design?” Honestly, there was no real reason behind adding the story other than for

humor. This comment was hard to take in because the introduction was my favorite part of the

essay and I didn’t want to get rid of it. However, I am grateful for her comment because it

informed me that it was incredibly misleading to the audience.

Savannah Jackson Jackson 2

Samantha Gonzalez

ENC1101-23Fall0024

25 November 2023

From her feedback, I wrote a couple of introductions, none of them about music. Having to

rewrite the introduction felt like it was setting me back a little, but in the end, I am glad I did.

After revising, my introduction invites the audience to think how common it is for people to have

a strong fascination with something (like a television show or hobby) and it eventually evolves to

be part of their personality. Part of the revised introduction reads:

Children's bedrooms are often themed around something stereotypical, like mermaids, racecars,

princesses, or rockets and space. Personally, my media consumption is low, so I find it hard to

answer with a specific title to questions like “What’s your favorite movie?”. Although I don’t

have specific titles, I have specific genres that I enjoy in media like science fiction, true crime,

historical, and fantasy…Even though I do not have much free time, I love spending it doing

something artistic; drawing, painting, dancing, and my favorite, graphic design.

The original introduction that I had was entertaining, but it didn’t respond to the prompt. From

this revision, it is clear to see that it introduces the main ideas, genres, and graphic design, sooner

and more effectively. The introduction is no longer misleading, nor is it unnecessary. In fact,

without this revised introduction, the essay would be hard to comprehend.

One of the hardest parts of this paper was writing a thesis. I had a conference with my instructor,

in which they informed me that I had forgotten to include a thesis. I made note of this and

cleaned up my main ideas, but still struggled to write a clear thesis statement. My instructor
Savannah Jackson Jackson 3

Samantha Gonzalez

ENC1101-23Fall0024

25 November 2023

commented on this, informing me that they liked my introduction, but it was still missing a thesis

statement.

I have created and revised a thesis statement according to this feedback. It reads, “The varieties

of graphic design, and graphic design itself, have a clear pattern in the way they are created,

contributing to the rhetorical moves that make each final productive uniquely effective.” Not

only did I write a clear thesis, but I also introduced that my artifacts were graphic design, and

conveyed that I will be analyzing the patterns in genres to prove this. I also included the idea of

rhetorical moves, and how the product’s effectiveness is dependent on them in the end.

The last piece of feedback I received was concerning my title. Because I struggled with this

paper so much, the title was the least of my worries. This led me to come up with a very simple

title, “Genre Analysis of Socio-Cultural Practices.” I know that titles are supposed to be eye-

catching, but this one is not. After some brainstorming, it currently reads, “The Hidden Genres in

Graphic Design”. I included the word “hidden” because even as someone who has been doing

graphic design for years, I have never realized the patterns in graphic design, and the specific

genres they create.

Although my comprehension of the prompts was not a struggle for Major Assignment Two, I

made several changes including my introduction, thesis, and title. By using valuable feedback

from my professor, and some from a peer, I revised my paper to sound more confident and be

more consistent in its main ideas.

Savannah Jackson Jackson 4

Samantha Gonzalez

ENC1101-23Fall0024

25 November 2023

Thank you, and best wishes

Savannah Jackson