Samantha Gonzalez

Writing Composition Professor

ENC1101

Dear Professor Gonzalez,

Subject: Submission of Revised Major Assignments 1 & 2

Thank you for the feedback on my assignments. I have reviewed the comments and have

revised them. My responses are given in a point-by-point manner below. Changes to the

manuscript are shown in both Major Assignment 1 and Major Assignment 2 papers.

Both of my major assignment papers have received critiques on needing more supporting

details to make my points more clear. For example, I received a comment on this section of my

first paper: “As I began my high school journey, I was unsure of what my future in writing would

look like” (Dallas, p.1). The feedback I received for this was suggesting that I go into greater

detail about why I felt uncertain. I changed this section of my paper to include more explanation

about why I was unsure of what my writing future would look like in the beginning of high

school. I used to fear adding too much detail to my writing, as I didn’t want to bore my readers.

However, after receiving multiple critiques suggesting more examples and explanations, I see

how details are essential to making my writing more clear for readers. I feel that by revising this

section of my paper, I have addressed the lack of detail.

Another part of my first paper that received a critique is the multimodal project. My feedback

stated that my paper didn’t provide a suffice explanation of the pictures I represented and why. I

 have added further details in my paper about my literacy sponsors and how my multimodal

project represents them.

Finally, I gained feedback on my thesis from my second paper. In attempt to provide a thesis,

I wrote, “All of these features assemble together to create a discourse community” (Dallas, p.1).

After practicing thesis writing in class, I can clearly see that this is not a sufficient thesis for my

paper. I adjusted this part of my essay to hopefully include a better thesis to shape the goal of my

paper. I think that removing this sentence and replacing it with a more accurate thesis addresses

the critique I received. Thank you again for the feedback.

Sincerely,

Skyler Dallas