20 Topics you can talk

about in therapy
Conversations for healing, growth, and self-discovery
at any point of your journey

By Dawn Ferrara, Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) x Calmerry

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Table of contents
Intro 03
Start where you are. Share your “why.”
Your past therapy experience 04

Your current relationships. Sex and sexuality 05

Life changes and challenges. Your mood 06

Current job/career. Personal strengths and weaknesses 07

Grief and loss. Traumatic experiences 08

Childhood experiences. Generational patterns 09

Medical history 10

Life goals. The things you don’t talk about 11

What to talk about when things are going well 12

Where you started and where you are now.
The little things. What comes next 13

Silence is therapeutic, too 15

Let the conversation and exploration begin + Bonus 16

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Intro
You’ve made the decision to go to
therapy. That’s great! Now, you’re
wondering just what to talk about in
therapy when the time comes.
Within the first session or two, your
therapist will ask you a lot of questions
about yourself, your history, and what
brings you to counseling. A conversation
will probably come easily. As you get
further into your journey, talking about
the deeper issues may take more effort.
So, we designed this comprehensive
guide on the various topics you can
discuss with your therapist and feel
comfortable with: from relationships,
childhood experiences, and life goals
to those difficult topics you don’t feel
quite ready to share right away.
We hope this guide will serve as a
helpful resource in your mental health
journey!

But actually, finding things to talk about

in therapy isn’t always easy, even if
you’ve been in therapy for a while. And
sometimes, a little inspiration can help
start the conversation.

Please note: this guide is for educational purposes only and not meant for diagnosis,
treatment, or to provide or replace medical or psychiatric care.

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1. Start where you are
It sounds almost too easy, but a good place to start is to
simply start where you are that day:

• How are you feeling today?

• What has been occupying your thoughts lately?

2. Share your “why”

What prompted you to seek out a therapist? Was there an “a-ha” moment for you,
or have you considered therapy for a while? Why now?

Exploring your “why” for coming to therapy can help you clarify what you want
to explore and help guide your journey. It also helps your therapist to understand
what’s important to you.

3. Your past experience with therapy

If you’ve been in therapy before, you probably have some feelings about the
whole process. What worked for you that you’d like to try again? Were there things
about the experience that you didn’t like?

It’s OK to share the good and the not-so-good with your therapist so that they
understand where you’ve been.

The good news is that even if past experiences weren’t ideal, you can have a
successful therapy experience!

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4. Your current relationships
We have relationships of all kinds in our lives, and they can have an effect on our
mental health and sense of well-being.

What are the significant relationships in your life, both the healthy ones and the
ones that are more difficult? How do they affect your well-being?

5. Sex and sexuality

Yes, you can talk about sex and sexuality in a therapy session. It’s part of the
human experience and can profoundly influence your mental health and sense
of well-being.

It’s OK to talk about it all. Some therapists even specialize in working with issues
of sex and sexuality.

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6. Life changes and challenges
Changes and challenges are part of life. Some are welcomed. Some are dreaded.
Others are just minor bumps in the road. Still, they all touch our lives in some way.

Marriages, divorces, births, deaths, major moves, school or job changes, illnesses,
or just about anything that creates change in your life can rock your world.

What are the significant changes and challenges you’ve experienced? How have
they affected you?

7. Your mood
Your mood is an indicator of how you’re feeling at any given time. And it can
change over time too.

If you’re experiencing changes in your mood, especially between sessions, it’s

important to share that with your therapist. It helps them to be aware of your
symptoms, changes over time, and how best to guide you.

You can talk about the positive changes you’re noticing, too!

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8. Current job/career
Is your job a source of stress, or is it the best thing ever? Are you facing a career
change or searching for the right fit? Maybe you’re having coworker issues.

Whatever is happening, jobs and career issues can be the source of a lot of stress
in other areas of life, even if you love your job.

9. Personal strengths and weaknesses

Every person has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses, but probably, you
don’t give them much thought:

• Weaknesses are vulnerabilities that can get in the way of progress.

• On the flip side, your strengths are those qualities and abilities that you can
draw upon to manage issues that arise.

For example, you might struggle with expressing your feelings but have a great
capacity for empathy for others. That’s a strength that you may be able to draw
upon as you learn how to express yourself.

As you progress in therapy, you may discover additional strengths or needs.

Sharing those new discoveries can help you progress in your journey.

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10. Grief and loss
Grief and loss aren’t something we are usually prepared for. For some, it can get
complicated and adversely impact mental health.

Have you had a recent loss that you just can’t seem to move past? Was there a
significant loss in the past that remains unresolved?

Sometimes, the impact of a loss doesn’t become apparent until much later.
Your session can be a safe space to explore the impact of your loss.

11. Traumatic experiences

Addressing trauma can be hard, even in therapy. Many people avoid talking about
their trauma because it’s painful, and they don’t want to have to recount every
detail. The good news is, you don’t have to.

When you’re ready, you may choose to share a little information at a time. You
might tell your therapist that there is something you want to share but are afraid
to.

A trained trauma therapist can help you unpack your trauma in ways that feel
comfortable and safe.

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12. Childhood experiences
Childhood experiences profoundly influence physical and mental health
throughout our lives.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), in particular, can have a negative

impact on mental health as we mature into adulthood. And our Positive Childhood
Experiences (PCEs) can positively affect our physical and mental well-being.

What experiences did you have that stand out? How do you think they impacted
you?

13. Generational patterns

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I sound just like my mom” or “My dad does
the same thing”? If so, you’ve caught a glimpse of the generational patterns we
all have.

Some generational patterns are awesome and carry a lot of tradition and valuable
generational knowledge. Others may not be as useful or helpful.

There may be patterns in your own behavior that you’ve noticed. It’s OK to share
your observations and experience. You and your therapist can decide whether
delving deep into your family of origin would be helpful.

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14. Medical history
It might surprise you that your physical and emotional health are interconnected.
Your medical history can be a source of important information needed to guide
your treatment.

Positive mental well-being has been shown to positively impact physical health
and reduce the risk of heart attacks and strokes. Poor mental health has been
linked to many health issues:

• Stroke

• Heart disease

• Chronic pain

• Sleep disorders

• Gastrointestinal problems

• Diabetes, etc.

Conversely, physical illness may

lead to mental health issues, such
as increased stress and anxiety, poor
sleep, and depression.

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15. Life goals
When you think about your future, what do you wish for yourself? Where do you
want to go?

Some people seek therapy to help them clarify just where they want to go. Others
have an idea but no clear plan or path for getting there.

Sharing your life goals with your therapist can lend insight into them and aid in
setting treatment goals that can help move you in the direction you want to go.

16. The things you don’t talk about

Of all the things you could talk about, there are probably things that you guard and
protect too. You just don’t talk about them. Most people don’t tell their therapist
their deepest secrets right away, and that’s OK.

What you can do is be open with your therapist and let them know there are
some hard things you want to be able to talk about but don’t feel quite ready for.

If there’s something your therapist can do to support you in sharing, it’s OK to

ask for what you need. For example, “There’s something hard I want to share. It
would help me if you could support me by…”.

They can help you from there and move towards talking about those deeper
issues.

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What to talk about when
things are going well
Sometimes, things are going really well in therapy. You’re making progress and
feeling stronger. The problems that brought you to therapy might seem small or
are improving.

You might even start to think you’re done. Not so fast.

Instead, use this time in therapy to reflect on where you’ve been in your journey
so far and what might be your next steps. If you’re still learning and growing, you
may not be quite done yet but rather poised for the next steps.

Here are a few topics that might help you

explore this place you find yourself in

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17. Where you started and where
you are now
This is a great time to take time to reflect on where you’ve been and where you
find yourself now.

Talk about…

• What you’ve learned about yourself

• What new coping skills you’ve gained

• What breakthroughs you’ve had

• What you’re still working on

• What issues have arisen since you first started

18. The little things

Even though you work hard in therapy, every session
doesn’t have to be about the hard stuff. You can talk
about whatever you want.

Sometimes, it’s the little things – the everyday annoyances

– that create stress and frustration. Your session can be a
great space for that, too, because life happens.

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19. What comes next
Therapy has a beginning, a middle, and an end. But there’s no timetable for
beginning or ending therapy.

Sometimes when it feels like you’re in a good place or you feel like you’re not
getting as much out of your sessions, it can feel like an ending. But it might simply
be an indicator that it’s time for a change.

That change doesn’t mean you have to abruptly stop therapy. On the contrary, it
could mean that you’re becoming better at using what you’ve learned and that
you might not need to see your therapist quite as often.

Gradually spacing out your sessions gives you time to use what you’re learning
but still have the comfort of knowing your therapist is still there to guide you.

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20. Silence is therapeutic, too
Sometimes you’ll encounter moments of silence in your sessions. Yes, those
awkward silent pauses can be uncomfortable. You sit there, waiting for your
therapist to say something. Why don’t they say anything?

Your therapist is quiet for a reason: some of the most profound insights in therapy
come from moments of silence. Part of therapy is finding your own insights and
solutions.

Silence facilitates introspection and awareness of your thoughts and feelings. As

these come up, you may choose to explore them.

Don’t feel like you have to fill every empty space with talking. Don’t be afraid of
the silence. Give yourself permission to sit in silence for a few moments and see
what comes up for you.

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The fact is, talk therapy is a two-way process that will ebb and flow. Sometimes
there are awkward silences. Sometimes people struggle to find the words. Other
times the conversation flows effortlessly.

Above all, take your time. It’s all OK, and it all has meaning and value.

And whether you’re dealing with mental health issues, feeling stuck, or simply
looking to understand yourself better, you can find a safe and supportive space
to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences – at your own pace – with an
experienced therapist at Calmerry.

Online therapy offers a convenient and accessible way to connect with a

professional you can talk to. With the option to communicate via text, video, or
both, you can choose what and when feels most comfortable for you.

We can match you with the best-suited

professional to your needs within 1 Apply your code
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