BEGINNING OF THE JOURNEY

Whoever takes the road to self-knowledge, expects it

to be a hard and difficult journey to overcome and
accept. Your past, your present, your friends,
everything you've done and what you don't define
who you are. But you've never asked yourself this
question:Whoam 1? Is being loved by everyone the
most important thing, or loving yourself? Those who
loved me, did they really love me or did they love
what they saw reflected of themselves in myself?
And those who disliked me, was it me that they
didn't love, or the fears within themselves?

Slowly, those questions begin to be obvious, once

you have decided to find yourself. It is the most
complicated question in the world: "who am 17 And
it's necessary for us to pass all these tests, to get to
the truth.

And the truth is far from being a revelation that will

make us exclaim: "so this is the person I am! This is
the meaning of my life!" Maybe the truth we face
when we reach our destination is another question
mark. A giant question mark at the end of the road.

But at least we know the rest.

PARIS
A RAINY DAY IN PARIS

"When 1 looked into his eyes, I

realized I could never part from
him
The Italian businessman asked where we met. We both
stayed silent. Then we answered at the same time. I
said Kayseri, he said Paris. And then, he told the most
romantic anecdote that had never really happened. A
rainy day in Paris.

"Rain. It started to rain suddenly. "An incredible rain in

Paris.' "It rains often in Paris. At that time I was passing
in front of a movie theatre. He loves movies. You can
tell he loves art. True. went to the movies and
stood in line to buy tickets, next to a girl who was in
front of me. She smelt incredible. The most wonderfu
perfume had smelled in my life. It was dark, of course,
she had her back to me, so I couldn't see her. I was s0
nervous that I couldn't even move. And then, she slowly
turned her face to me. I looked at her. Sanem.
When I looked into his eyes, I realized that I could
never part from him.
THE EYES ON OUR HEART
Our eyes fool us most of the time. The truth can be
very agile and deceive us. Our eyes see only what
they want to see and forget what they want to deny.

The difference between seeing and looking is what

brings us to the truth. Therefore, things only makes
sense when we look with the eyes on our hearts.

The eyes on our heart show us what lays behind

what we see. They show us that we're wrong. They
tell us: 'what you see is not real" what you hearis
not real'. What you feel is real. Believe in what your
heart tells you. Follow your heart

And him leaving me never goes away from before my

eyes. The last time my eyes were able to see him, it
hurt so much. I couldn't see beyond my tears.

So I sat down. Waiting for his return. Until my heart

turned into a rock.

And my eyes hurt even

more
HOURS, DAYS, MONTHS
Slowly, I became the girl in the story of the bride
who couldn't stop crying, waiting for her captain to
return.

He said he would never leave me. Never, he said.

But now he's not here, walked out of my life forever.

It took me a couple of minutes to run after him, a

couple of minutes to recover from my anger, my pain
and my confusion and go after him.

But I lost him in those two of minutes.

He abandoned me and my life, forever, If he had

waited for me, if he had kept his promise and hadn't
left, if he had given me those two minutes to come
back to my senses. I would have begged him not to
leave
was told he had sailed away. For good.
I waited for hours, days, months.

I waited on the rocks that we said were cursed, on

the shores that we used to walk together, on the
beaches where we kissed, fished and took pictures of
the two of us.
AN UNFINISHED POEM
Every night, for months, when I went to sleep. I
asked myself the same question: What did I do
wrong? What kind of mistake I made?
I kept coming back to the day he left. Time and
space are lost. Only him and his words remain. Did I
let him slip through my fingers? Did he decide to
leave?

I wrote a 1001 scenarios, each of them different. I

asked him to leave. He left. l asked him to stay. He
left. I didn't trust him. He left. I trusted him. He left.
All scenarios ended the same way: "he left.

He left and left nothing behind him. A poem that

remains unfinished.

He's my other half. The fire in my heart, the question

in my mind, the butterfly in my stomach
How can you be chained to the place you belong to?

With such a link that you can never give up.

BY THE FIRE
"Simurg was the king of all the birds. He knew
everything. But for many years, no one had ever seen
him. And so the birds lost hope,
One day, in a distant country, a phoenix feather was
found. So all the birds in the world fiew to the
mountains of Kal to search for him.

There were several tests along the way. One bird for
hunger, another for fatigue and a third because he
lost hope, they all gave up and went back. Others
just disappeared.

Only 9 birds remained. The path they had to walk

was the one made of their own truth. Through this
path, they'll reach it.

And the fire?

The phoenix is born again every day. How many

times would he burn? How many wounds would he
get? But everytime, he gets up and starts again.

Like you'.
TVALLEY OF FAITH
FEELINGS

Even if we don't believe in fairy

tales..

The birds begin to pass the Valley of Faith,. At this

moment, they don't believe in anything. Only in
what they see.

But the thing is, they could believe without seeing

Without understanding. Without knowing. Because
the feelings that rules all of us, the ones that make
us who we are, we don't see them, we dont touch
them. But we still believe in them.

Even if we don't believe in fairy tates, it's as if

they were true.

In the most miserable and hopeless moment of our

life, a word, a look, a caress, can be the medicine
that cures all of our sickness.

The birds will not overcome this valley unless they

begin to believe. Otherwise, they will be trapped in
there for eternity. Afraid to go back and afraid to
move on.

Until they begin to believe in their feelings.

 VALLEY OF STRUGGLE
a
After the Valley of Faith, the birds moved into the
Valley of Struggle. They got there to face their
deepest issues and problems.

This pain is much greater than any physical pain. A

broken heart. Those who could not reach the depths
of their heart, would stay forever or disappear.

Some saw loneliness in the depths of their heart,

some saw that they had been unfair, and some saw
hundreds of words that they had never said and were
solidified and stuck in their heart

The birds that were able to cross this valley

experienced great pain. But it was worth it to be
able to know yourself, face yourself and thus
continue the journey knowing what the most
precious thing in your tife is."
VALLEY OF TRUST
THE WIND FOR HIS WINDS

They needed to trust each other

to pass the test".

The rest of the birds arrived to the Valley of Trust.

Either they passed this test together, or they would
disappear. They needed to trust each other to pass
the test. And also trust themselves.

After everything he had gone through, it was very

difficult. He was wild. Lonely, had no one to talk to.

With a broken heart, the wings forgot the wind. Who

would help him to fly? Where could he find his
strength again?

And it turns out, that if waiting for him, maybe he

could see it. The wind for his wings. The solution to
his problems.

But he didn't turn to look.

VALLEY OF COMMITMENT
The birds were now flying through the Valley of
Commitment. When flying through the previous
valleys, they were more enthusiastic. But this time,
the flapping of their wings has a special and much
deeper meaning.

The Valley of Commitment put the two souls within

one body. and the two bodies merged as one spirit.

Now, wherever they go, they know they'll never be

apart. There is no reason or issue that can break
their connection. Two souls joined by invisible
threads, tinking each other with more force than any
steel.

Time and space mean nothing to the birds that have

passed this test. From now on, they live only in the
present.

For thousands of moments together

VALLEY OF DENIAL
THAT SOUVENIR OF THE LOVED ONE

Even if we deny it, our eyes

always tell the truth
Now the birds are in the Valley of Denial. They fly
over the valley, constantly denying everything: what
they love, what they can't forget, the mistakes they
made. Regret. How easy, or not, is it to deny the
courage for regret?

But even if we deny it, our eyes tell the truth. Our
behavior gives us away. We deny it, we say we have
forgiven.

But that object that once belonged to him, may now

hold the meaning of life. We're willing to give our
lives to protect it. That souvenir of the loved one,
which we always carry with us.

Going around in the Valley of Denial, denying that

you love with all your heart. And denying the fact
that you cannot exist without him.

Until we renounce and leave behind denial, we

cannot cross the valley
VALLEY OF SEARCH
This valley is the most mysterious of all. You can't
stay in this valley, you must go through it. Those
who are slaves to their desires, and those who are
not. Isn't man always struggling with his desires,
anyway?
I choose the path of losing myself in my desires.
Dreams, wishes, caresses. I leave myself in the hands
of the aromas.

It is said that desire is the enemy of the soul,

because it traps the soul in its own hands.

Let desire keep us trapped in his hands. Let our

bodies speak at least once, let logic stay mute... Let
the whole world remain silent at that moment when
we look at each other, we touch each other. Let our
bodies come together like a tree, carrying water
through its roots.

Actually, when has the mind been able to deal with

the heart? What kind of logic can slow a crazy
heartbeat? My heart craves it like crazy. My body
beats for him.

Tel me, who, except myself, is going to stop me?

TWAS HIS AND HE WAS MINE
ONLY HIM

"He my reason for existing, my

was

soul, the blood in my veins

And 1 said: There's no single word left inside me.
Because the truth was, words were not necessary. I
was his and he was mine
He was my whole world. In the sound of the waves, in
the shadows on the street, in the starlight, in the
beauty of the flowers, I saw him. Only him.

He was my reason for existing, my soul, the blood in

my veins. It was every beat of my heart. And it should
have been the last.

There were no words to say. Because he was all the

words.

His name.

Only him.