1/1/24, 11:25 AM It's New Year and yet again, we're being bombarded with self-improvement guff

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It’s New Year and yet again, we’re being bombarded with self-

improvement guff

There’s more to a successful year than upping your productivity and diversifying your gut

bacteria

SUZANNE MOORE

29 December 2023 • 6:00pm

94

t’s so interesting, isn’t it, to meet someone who not only navel gazes but gets right in

I there? Beneath the navel. I mean the type of person who thinks you might be enthralled

to know all about their intestinal flora, the good and bad bacteria in their gut, how they have

improved their microbiome by eating horrible mouldy foods and now avoids anything

actually delicious.

This is what I leave my house for these days. To meet people who are better than me in every

possible way and want to tell me about it.

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1/1/24, 11:25 AM It's New Year and yet again, we're being bombarded with self-improvement guff

In fact, I cannot avoid it because the entire culture of self-improvement seeps out of every

Instagram post, every other article or TV show. There is not one part of me or my life that

could not be improved – as anyone who knows me will attest – but then I have an allergy to

the banal solipsism that passes for “advice”.

Half of the inspirational quotes I see on Facebook inspire murderous thoughts in me as they

are often attributed to the wrong person. Education, truth and accuracy do not seem to

figure much in the current avalanche of self-help bunkum.

It is the season, of course, in which everyone will be making resolutions that they will

inevitably break. Did you know about Dry January? Gosh, I had no idea about that though the

born-again zealots are preaching the benefits of sobriety 24/7. Clear skin. Clear heads. Clear

hearts. They are now so pure that they don’t even think about drinking anymore. Except

when they are chastising the rest of us about it.

Life is simply wonderful since they have given up sugar/dairy/wheat /something you have

never heard of but have possibly eaten. Seaweed is the secret. Or some kind of seed or just

not eating for long periods, intermittent fasting. You are now what you DON’T eat.

Few celebrities are honest about their gastric sleeves or Ozempic, their facelifts and their

surgeries. These are the role models of selfie culture which is indeed global and does require

a focus on the body to some insane degree.

Seemingly every TikTok account has a series of exercises which will change everything. If

you are not already getting up at 5am to go to the gym or on your Peloton, are you even alive?

Those of us who think 5am is the middle of the night would prefer to be dead. Only young

people think they will live forever, the rest of us know a lot rests on luck and genes no matter

how much wall pilates we do. Look, I am aware that this stuff is to help us with ageing but,

again, there is dishonesty about what ageing is. Above all, it’s not dying.

You can have as many tweakments as you like but in the end, your face will crumble so look

outwards at the world instead of mourning your reflection.

It is said that each generation gets the self-help it deserves. In times of economic crisis, for

instance, there will be a lot of ‘personal finance’ marketed mainly to men. How to make lots

of money, triumph in Crypto and become the boss. Less of these books and podcasts are

aimed at women because we are more prone to spiritual nonsense when we forsake material

goods for some higher value of self-worth. Remember the whole Marie Kondo era of sock

arranging and throwing stuff out? Really what was that all about? Is having less clutter

genuine enlightenment? Or basic spring cleaning?

When I was young, all self-help was of the Women Who Love Too Much variety but a whole

new market is now tapping into the ‘women who love too much stuff ’ genre. It’s the same

with fashion. Buy/don’t buy. Just a few very expensive things from designers who are

concerned about the planet.

Often I can see why there is a generation that rejects a crazy work ethic and would rather

have a nicer life because these messages are so schizophrenic and take no account of the

actual circumstances of the average person. If people cannot afford homes, then their bodies

may well be not just their temples but the one thing they can control and take care of. DIY

and loft extensions are the stuff of dreams for many. Learning Mandarin is more in reach.

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1/1/24, 11:25 AM It's New Year and yet again, we're being bombarded with self-improvement guff

The project that used to be a home and family is now the self-actualisation of the individual.

That background noise that throbs away telling us that we can become better people, live

our best lives and be our best selves, exists almost in isolation from others. The goal is control

in a time of chaos which explains the pull of Andrew Tate and his like, who hand out rules to

live by. That those rules may be regressive and harmful does not stop their popularity.

Self-reflection is a great thing, please don’t get me wrong but self-reflection without

challenge morphs into narcissism. The creep of therapy speaks into everyday language – and

I have just done it with narcissism – the disorder du jour – is part of the problem with all this.

Actual therapy or indeed any actual faith means doing “the work”, it means looking inward

and it’s a difficult and ongoing process. There is never a simple solution to a problem but the

self-help world encourages self-diagnosis, so everyone is on the spectrum, traumatised, has

low self-esteem or is controlled by a narcissist. These terms are thrown about and self-

improvement is achieved by categorising oneself as though that in itself is the answer.

It isn’t.

There are so many ways in which we might improve ourselves not by simply being better at

something: being thin, being fit, being productive but by being better to other people. This

competitive optimising of selfhood feels desperate, lonely and, of course, impossible.

So please don’t tell me what you are giving up this year. I really don’t care. Instead, what will

you give to the world? Beyond a kefir starter.

Related Topics
94
New Year's resolution, New Year's Day

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