Scene1 - Introduction of the royal family

Stage: I want two pillars on stage - > resembling the court. Props needed: A smaller table/pillar
with a red cloth

Steward: Welcome thee, welcome thee! The royal family is blessing us with their appearance on this
gay day!

Áron/Jacque: Their blood so clean: Keeping it in the family!

Steward: Pardon you? The court jester shall not speak now!

Jacque: But I shall! My words are the justice that no man dares to speak!

Steward: (rolls his eyes and begins reading) First! His royal highness! King XII Louis Francois King of
France Prince of Bretagne!

King: (comes on stage, drunk)

Jacque: (sniffs around Csaba) He reeks of the smell of alcohol to me!

King: (drunk) Are these my people?

Steward: Yes, your royal highness

King: Well… They do not seem the brightest…

Queen: (from off stage) Not surprising! They are your people!

Steward: Now comes the Queen! Queen Isabella Maria la Castilla!

Queen: (comes on stage and stands next to the king. After a few seconds slowly turns to him) are you
drunk again, my lord? (in a mean tone)

King: Shut your mouth, woman! A king drinks as much alcohol, as he pleases…

Steward: The princess of the royal pair! (rolls the tekercs out as we discussed) Princess Marionette
Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le Valois!

Jacque: (gasps, turns to the audience, and as Eleanor is making her entrance) There she is…the love
of my life… The angel that has descended on earth. The angel, amongst the demons of earth….

Eleanor: (comes on stage, stands in front of her parents, in the middle, smiling)

Steward: Uhh… next…. What was her name again? Oh right! Princess Padme le Valois

Padme: (comes on stage)

King: Padme? Who’s that?

Padme: Your second-born child, my highness/father

King: Ah the failure!

Queen: You’re the one to talk, my lord….

Steward: Last but not least.. now comes the beloved whore-se of the family, Donatus
Donatus: (comes on stage, nyihog and stands next to the family)!

Jacque: (starts to play with the horse)

King: Why are we all here again?

Steward: Your highness wished to announce something…

King: Ah…. Another tax?

Queen: The Tournament!

Jacque: The… what?

King: As my… Steward has spoken! I have an announcement for thee! My one and only daughter…
Uh… (looks at the Steward) You may repeat her name…

Padme: (makes faces while the king says this, as she is also his daughter… or not?)

Steward: Princess Marionette Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le Valois!

Donatus: (kicks Jacque who kept on playing with her)

Jacque: Ah! Your royal highness, you must teach your horse some respect

King: (ignores Jacque) Yes, yes… My daughter is in need of a husband and I am in need of
entertainment…! I have decided to hold a Jousting tournament! Those who’d like to participate must
put their name in the goblet! Steward! The goblet!

Steward: (runs off stage and comes back with a goblet and places it on the table / carries the table
with him)

Jacque: Oh, I’d love to participate! (gets closer to the goblet, trying to touch it but the king slaps on
his arm)

King: You! You cannot participate!

Jacque: Why not?

King: Because those are my orders! Anyone, other than the Court Jester or the commoners… Shall
put their names in the goblet…

Jacque: That is one stupid rule…

Steward: What the King says are orders that must be followed…

Jacque: (rolls his eyes) Orders given, orders received… Just like taxes…

King: That reminds me! My people! A new tax has been put into action in order to finance the
championship.

(Everyone leaves the stage , Jacque stays and lurks around the goblet)

Jacque: Jester's privilege is the ability and right of a jester to talk and mock freely without being
punished… This means… I shall place my name in the goblet! (places his name in the goblet, and runs
away laughing, giggling)

King: (comes on stage with the Steward and Eleanor)

Steward: His royal highness! King XII Louis Francois King of France Prince of Bretagne! He shall
announce the participants of the Tournament!

King: As that gent has said…: The participants! (reaches into the goblet and pulls out a piece of
paper) Uhhh…. What is this

Jacque: (walks on stage) Oh, your highness! Did you drink too much to read? I shall help thy
highness! (goes up to him and takes it away and hands it to the Steward) Here! You shall read it!

Steward: (takes the paper from Jacque and begins reading) IV. Philippe Prince of Burgundy…

King: Shut your mouth,i’ll handle this reading some names with numbers isn’t that demanding!
Percival le Orleans!

Jacque: Oh, he is going to solve mysteries!

King: What?

Jacque: Percival means to pierce the vale! Like piercing a veil of mystery!

King: I thought I was the drunk, not you… (scoffs) I am tired of reading names…

Steward: Your highness… Let us continue reading the names…

King: Jacque Condom.

King: Jacque, Condom? CONDOM!!! Did you put your name in the goblet?

Jacque: The king said calmly.

King: How dare you disobey the only order i’ve given you. We took you from poverty and gave you
the opportunity to have the greatest life imaginable to a peasant?

Jacque: No! The Fool does as he pleases! I am participating and I will win the hand of the princess! I
am going to become the next king.

Eleanor: No! That cannot happen! You cannot take part in this! (goes up to Jacque) You’re going to
lose your life!

Jacque: For you, I’d even die…

Eleanor: (starts tearing up) You mustn’t… Please, do not participate! We can find a way!

Jacque: No. I must. Goodbye, Princess… My angel… (exits the stage)

Eleanor: (starts sobbing and runs off stage)

End of Scene 1
Scene 2- The preparations

Jacque: (on stage, trying to get on Donatus the horse, carrying a blade and is in armour, that he is
not wearing correctly) Come on! You vain horse!

Donatus: (angrily tries to get rid of Jacque)

Padme: Is in search for Áron while wearing a black hood.

Jacque: (hears the sounds of footsteps) Huh? Is someone there?

Padme: (deepens her voice) To your left!

Jacque (looks to the back of the stage)

Padme: Your… other left…

Jacque (Looks to the audience)

Padme: Or maybe right behind you!

Jacque: (jumps) Who are you stranger? Are you a beggar or just a strider who can’t find a place to
sleep?

Padme: Uh…My name is erm… Amidala!

Jacque: Amidala… I have never seen you here… Are you a part of the court?

Padme: No… I’m a…. A knight-errant!

Jacque: Huh? What is that supposed to mean?

Padme: I am a knight who travels the world… I have heard about the joust! And thee! Thee, the
king’s fool who decided to take part!

Jacque: Really? I… I have become famous!

Padme: Yeah, yeah you did, you did but…. Do you plan on winning or just… Being the fool?

Jacque: Of course, I plan on winning! Isn’t that obvious?

Padme: Well… The way you hold your sword… or how you wear your armour is enough to see how
clueless you are! How do you plan on winning like this?

Jacque: Thee could be right… OH! You’re a knight! You could teach me about fighting so I could win
her hand!

Padme: Well… I suppose you’re right… First, fix your armour! You look rather lumpish.

Jacque: Lumpish? Me? (looks at himself)

Padme: Yes you! Ugh, this isn’t even the right size… Where did you get it from?

Jacque: Oh, from the armoury! I also got my sword from there!

Padme: (takes a closer look at him) The sword must be sharpened , and the armour… Hmm….
(walks around him to observe him) Oh, you just mixed up the sides… (helps him fix the armour he’s
wearing) Okay, that should do…
Jacque: Wow, this feels less restricting already… Can thee teachest me now?

Padme: Aye, I can… Let’s find thy horse first.

Jacque: I was thinking of going with the royal horse! It’s so majestic!

Donatus: (nods in agreement)

Padme: No, no that just won’t do. (shows him another horse) This will do just fine for you!

Jacque: But why can’t I ride that one?

Padme: The royal horse is too majestic for such violence. This horse will be yours for the joust. Can
you get on it?

Jacque: Well…. I cannot be sure.

Padme: I will help you then (takes the sword from him and helps him on the horse) Now, when
you’re jousting… You’re not going to have a sword. You’re going to have a lance, which is like a really
long spear.

Jacque: Then maybe I should be practicing with that!

Padme: No! First you have to learn to keep your balance while being in the saddle.

Jacque: Oh about that…

Padme: You can’t ride horses, can you?

Jacque: I can’t…

Padme: (sigh) Wonderful… Just wonderful… We have to start from the very bottom then…. Enow!
Go around the stables with the horse.

Jacque: How?

Padme: Tap the horse on it’s back and then guide it with the reins…

Jacque: (starts going around the horse) Like so?

Padme: Like that. Keep your back straight! And use your legs to stay in the saddle. Now go faster

Jacque: (starts going faster with the horse) Whoa! I feel like I could lose my balance any moment
now…

Padme: Just remember what I said. Faster

Jacque: (the horse starts galopping) Uh-oh! (falls down)

Padme: You lasted longer than expected…

Jacque: Really? (sits up) I want to try again

Padme: That’s great, because you’re going to. Get back on that horse!

Jacque: (gets back on the horse)

want you to start where you left off. But this time you’re going to... Hm... You’re going to ride in a
straight line. You start riding as fast as you can get the horse to and slow down when I tell you to.
Jacque: What?? This sounds Greek to me! I’ll fall off again!

Padme: You won’t. Just don’t forget to keep your back straight, and keep holding on with your legs
(smacks him or the horse) Go!

Jacque: (starts again and as the horse gets faster he’s struggling to stay on)

Padme: Good, good, keep it up! Three... Two.... One! Start slowing the horse down!

Jacque: How?? (rides the horse off stage and a loud noise can be heard indicating that he fell down)

Padme: Well, not like this.

Jacque: (comes back from the other side of the stage with the horse NOT ON THE HORSE, WITH THE
HORSE) I’m hopeless. We didn’t even start the fighting training!

Padme: (sighs) Indeed you’re... Having difficulties... But it’s going to be fine... I hope so, at the least...

Jacque: And I didn’t even try it with a lance. What if I can’t support it? What if I can’t even lift it?

Padme: That is something we need to figure out... How about doing it with a lance now?

Jacque: What! I just fell down the horse because I don’t know how to stop it! I’m going to fall again!

Padme: You won’t! Get back on, without help! I’ll look for a lance in the mean time.... (hurries of)

Jacque: Wait, Amidala! Amidala? Ugh! (looks at the horse) You’re worse than that other one! How
do I get you to stop?? ( gets on) Okay! Horsie, when I say go, you go. When I say stop. You stop. Got
it?

Padme: (gets back with a lance or something like a lance) This will do for now.

Jacque: Is it a dagger I see before me?

Padme: (stands next to him)No, it is a lance. Okay, you hold it... (gives it to him but doesn’t fully let
go of it)

Jacque: (takes it) Huh. Not as heavy as I expected.

Padme: I’m still holding it... (lets go)

Jacque: (almost falls down the horse) Ough! (Padme pushes him back)

Padme: Hold it. Just keep it straight.

Jacque: (sighs) Why must everything be straight?

Padme: Stop puling and do your thing! Just as before. (tries to smack him)

Jacque: Go! (the horse starts)

Padme: Raise the lance and keep it straight!

Jacque: It’s heavy! (raises the lance but he is really off-balance)

Padme: Keep your back straight! Okay, you can start slowing down…

Jacque: Stop! (the horse halts and he falls off)

Padme: Well. This was your best one so far

Jacque: Why must be this way? This is so….Diffcult… I wish I could just…

Padme: Disappear?

Jacque: No! I wish I didn’t have to fight… I wish I could just sway her off her feet and marry her…

Padme: It could be done…

Jacque: What do you mean? How can I make her fall in love with me?

Padme: I don’t think you have to or even could do much… You have to win the Tournament but…
Most women love… serenades? I believe.

Jacque: Hmmm…. Ah! A serenade! (gets up quickly and takes his armour off then throws the lance
on the ground) Could you put these away? I have to serenade! (runs off)

Padme: But the practice! Ugh….

(stage changes, Jacque comes on stage with the instrument (idk what he is going to play)

Jacque: (kneels down and starts serenading)

Serenade: Feelings wash over me as I see,

The beauty of yours, standing before me.

Kindness of a fae, your innocence shines

Smile of an angel, my heart aches;

For you it pleads; just to be around.

I just wish to be loved by you

I wish to show you a new world

Just us, between you and me, Eleanor,

My dear-

King: (in the middle of it) What on earth is happening?

Jacque: Your majesty! Where… Where is the princess?

King: ...Condom what are you doing?

Jacque: S-serenading sir!

King: Cut it out then. I wish to continue drinking in peace.

End of scene 2

Scene 3 – The Royal Dinner

Props: a table, chairs, and food, goblets, grape juice

Stage: I want the table to be sideways like in the Mikszáth play. At the ends of the table the king
and queen, facing each other.

King and Queen: (angrily looking at each other,, something is wrong)

Eleanor: My good Father and Mother… Where is my sister?

King: What sister?

Eleanor: Your… Other daughter…

King: Ah, yes, yes… Well, no clue. She doesn’t matter. We cannot wait any longer. Let the dinner
begin, with a prayer… Actually, the pope is not around… No need for that now

Padme: (arrives in a hurry) My condolences for being late! (sits down next to Eleanor)

Queen: Padme! Look at yourself! You looks so… Not ladylike!

Padme: I am sorry, Mother.

Queen: (sighs) join us….

Eleanor: Forgive me father, but I have a question I have been meaning to ask you?

King: What is it my daughter. (looks at the sides for help)

Steward: (comes on stage) Princess Marionette Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le Valois?

Eleanor: (sighs) Father, why cannot I choose the one I be wed to? Why must there be such
bloodshed for my hand? Why can’t I marry the person I love?

King: (takes a deep breath) I have discussed these matters with you. As a member of the Royal
family… You have duties, just like the rest of us. You cannot marry out of love. Love makes people
blind, love is worthless. You need strength to keep my legacy pure and royal. That is why you will
marry the one who comes out on top.

Eleanor: But this is my destiny! I simply won’t marry someone I don’t love!

King: (decides not to listen) Wine!

Eleanor: Mother! You must convince him!

Queen: Wine…!

Eleanor: (stands up) Father explain once again!

King: This world doesn’t care about love. Love is… a lie, anyways You shall marry the winner, give
him a male heir. That one you can do, without love.

Eleanor: Well, mother doesn’t love you and you didn’t get a male heir!

King: You’re better than your mother. And our case is very much different

Queen: (rolls her eyes) Besides..After you have married him you do not have to share a bed with
him…

King: Oh, you woman! Do not talk about such things in front of her…

Queen: Oh I’m sorry, my dear lord. It’s not like you stay in your bed either… Its not like it was your
idea!

Jacque: (appears suddenly) Did I hear correctly? The Royal Pair wishes for wine?

King: Yes, yes…

Jacque: I have some! (pours wine for them) This is the most exquisite young wine! Do the princesses
wish for something?

Padme: No thank you…

Eleanor: Me neither…

King: he takes a sip from the wine then slams on the table) Condom!

Jacque: (immediately stops,jumps and turns to the king, saluting) Y-yes your majesty?!

King: What is this? This isn’t wine!

Jacque: It is young wine, my sire. More known as…Grape juice.

King: (scoffs) Grape juice?

Queen: I can't believe that some people actually drink grape juice... if they had a little more
patience, they would find that it ferments into the most exquisite wine. Hmph! Away with you!

Jacque: I am sorry for disappointing you, my lady (starts walking away)

King: Hold on! You can’t dismiss him! You’re just a Queen!

Jacque: (stops in his tracks) Oh, thank you, your highness…

King: But I can dismiss him. Away with you!

Jacque: (heads off)

End of scene 3
Scene 4– the first day - jousting

Stage/Scene: (trombones play as the royal family get on stage)

Steward: Welcome his royal highness, King XII Louis Francois King of France Prince of Bretagne!

King: Peasants, nobles, people across the land! I announce by my supreme power that today the
Championship for my daughter’s…

Steward: Princess Marionette Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le Valois!

King: hand in marriage! The champions shall fight fiercely and entertain all of us! (turns to Steward)
You may continue now.

Queen: A word, my lord!

King: Denied

Queen: It is very important! (stands up) My people! The king… only wishes to hear and see what
pleases him… The Royal guide will help you keep his temper… I wish to ask of you, when you see the
cheer sign… Cheer!

Fruzsi: (comes on stage and holds the cheer sign)

Queen: And when you see boo… Just boo, act angry! Disappointed!

Fruzsi: (holds boo up)

Queen: this is all I wished…

King: Making them act like clowns… Clever of you,… Were you dropped on your head as a small
child?

Steward: (pins up a piece of paper) Here are the rounds of the tournament… We will be starting in
an hour!

Jacque: (walks up to the board with the others) Oh sweet heavens... Come what come may, but I will
be even more of a laughing stock… I’m going first!

Prince Philippe/Jeanne of Burgundy: Do not fret! I am sure you will do your best…

Jacque: (looks at the events) I have not practiced most of these… My master forgot to teach me!

Philippe/Jeanne: Your master? How does a jester have a master?

Jacque: I was out practicing and a knight-errant helped me out… His name is Amidala… I
unfortunately cannot see him here…

Philippe/Jeanne: Amidala??

Jacque: Yes! You know thee?

Philippe/Jeanne: No, no I do not, hah! Such a strange name, he must be…from very far far away…
Hah-… (obviously knows Amidala)

Jacque: Huh… Shame… Well, I shall prepare for my first round…

Philippe/Jeanne: I wish you good luck and fair play… (everyone leaves the stage, the royal family sit
at the table used for scene 3.)

Jacque: (at one side of the stage)

Prince Karl of Luxembourg: (at the other side)

Steward: Day one, round one, battle one! Jousting on horseback! Jacque Condom versus Prince Karl
of Luxembourg!

King: Ah, the fool’s tournament will be short lived (sips wine)

Eleanor: That is not right father! I think he is capable of lasting more rounds!

King: He is going to fail!

Steward: Are the competitors ready?

Jacque: I am!

Karl: (doesn’t reply and simply falls of the horse)

Jacque: He does not seem to be ready

King: Get him on the horse! What is this??

Steward: (runs to Karl) Sir, I am afraid he cannot compete! He could not bear the sunlight and the
heat!

King: I do not care! Wake him up!

Queen: It is no use, my dear lord… I suppose the fool wins this round!

King: (scoffs and sits down) I suppose too…

Crowd: (boos, nothing happened)

Jacque: (leaves with the horse)

Steward: Very well then… Now for the fourth battle of the day! Percival Le Orleans versus Duke
Ludwig of Saxony!

Percival and Ludwig: (they stand at the sides of the stage, like previously seen)

Steward: Are the competitors ready?

Percival: I was born ready!

Ludwig: (stuttering) Me too (clearly afraid of Percival)

Steward: May the battle begin! (trombones play)

(Percival and Ludwig do 2 rounds of jousting. The crowd boos, nobody died. In each round, Ludwig is
more and more unsure. He fall of the horse in round 2.)

King: Ah, a true battle, finally…

Queen: Percival looks promising…

King: I think he would be fit for a king!

Eleanor: I think not, father!

King: Shut your trap! Like it or not, we are finding you a husband! Just watch the duels.

Eleanor: (sighs) You are cruel, dear father.

(end of their first duel, they preapare for a next battle)

Steward: Duel 2! (Trombones play)

Queen: (when Ludwig falls off) Pathetic!

King: (starts laughing) Now I call this entertainment!

Crowd: (cheers)

Eleanor: I wish I could marry out of love…

King: Bring some wine! I cannot deal with this… Her whining hurts my ears…

Steward: The seventh round of the day! IV Philippe Prince of Burgundy versus Franz of Bavaria!

(they get on stage like previously)

Steward: Are the competitors ready?

Philippe/Jeanne: Yes.

Franz: Bring it on!

Steward: May the duel begin! (trombones play)

(They do one round, Philippe/Jeanne knocks Franz out of the saddle, right away)

Crowd: (cheers)

King: Who is this Prince? I have never heard of him…

Queen: My lord you have fought together against those filthy english..

King: It is him?? I thought.. I thought he had quit his search for glory… I shall make his time easier
then, I suppose

Steward: End of the first day!

End of scene 5
Scene 5– the second training session

(stage: resembling the stables again)

Jacque: (looking around the stables) Amidala? Amidala are you here? (with a sigh he sits down) I
hoped he would be here… I have to train again; I don’t know half of these events! What am I
supposed to do?

Amidala: (approaches him from the other side of the stage) Fret not! I am here, just as last night! I
just decided to gather your weapons and armour before you pick the wrong things… (puts them on
the ground)

Jacque: Amidala! Ah, my saviour! What do you mean gather?

Amidala: You won the armour of your defeated opponent… You didn’t know?

Jacque: No, I didn’t know… How was I supposed to know?

Amidala: (sighs) I could have expected… Okay, listen… Tomorrow you’re going to duel with
shortswords, after that archery, and on the day of the final round the King decides…

Jacque: Huh… So I have a lot of training to do.. Are thee free tomorrow night too?

Amidala: No. I have… Other matters to attend to. So, here comes the deal. You’re going to learn
both tonight. Starting with the shortsword. (helps him to get in the leather armour and then hands
him a sword) First, you’ll practice on… Hmm… A tree will do.

Tree: (Fruzsi, walks on the stage and stands in front of them)

Jacque: What a strange tree… (takes the sword with one hand) Huh… This is heavy. Am I supposed to
hold it with two hands?

Amidala: Only during combat, and not all times

Jacque: Oh… (holds it with the other hand) So, what am I supposed to do now?

Amidala: ...Fix your hands. Your right hand on top, the left one under. (Jacque fixes his arm) Good..
Keep your elbows bent and closer to your body…

Jacque: For once something doesn’t have to be straight…

Amidala: Stand in a slanted position, your knees slightly bent… No, no, less bent…

Jacque: Less bent is straight!

Amidala: No! Less bent is less bent… next… Hold your sword upright

Jacque: (holds it so upright that the sword is linear)

Amidala: (fixes it) And put your left foot forward… Yeah, just like that… Now, let’s practice the eight
angles of attack…

Jacque: The eight what?

Amidala: These are straight down from the top, straight up from the bottom, diagonally down to the
left, diagonally down to the right, diagonally up from the left, diagonally up from the right, and left
and right strikes horizontally (guides his arm and sword through the angles, hitting the tree) And now
on your own
Jacque: (does it on his own, clumsily) This is really difficult! But I’ll get to it!

Amidala: I sure hope… Now, if your opponent is attacking… Step back and raise the edge of your
sword to block… Or you can parry

Jacque: Sounds Greek again…

Amidala: Parry is a block that you can turn into an attack. When the opponent attacks you, redirect
their attack by pushing their sword out of the way with yours. Then you can move in to attack them!

Jacque: Ahh! I still don’t understand.

Amidala: You will during combat… Now, comes the don’ts… Don’t try to stab your opponent. And
don’t raise your arms over your head.

Jacque: Got it!

Amidala: Now, attack the tree.

Jacque: (immediately stabs the tree)

Amidala: No stabbing!

Jacque: Ugh! (starts attacking again)

Amidala: Fix your posture… Be more straight!

Jacque: What’s wrong with not being straight??

Amidala: Right now, everything! Continue!

Jacque: (continues attacking the tree)

Amidala: Okay… This will do… Now, for the archery. (takes the sword away and hands him a bow
and arrows) Now… Does this tree have apples…?

Tree/Fruzsi: (raises her hand with an apple, or holds out one)

Amidala: Perfect! You’re going to aim for the apple. Line yourself up like you drew an imaginary line
from yourself to the target, the line would go across your feet. Hold the bow with your left arm.
(Jacque does so) And point your elbow to the target… Now, keep your back and left arm straight…

Jacque: With the straightness again…

Amidala: Place your feet shoulder width apart.. Raise your left art and pull the string.

Jacque: Like so? (he lets go of the string)

Amidala: Right so, but don’t forget to aim… Now do it with an arrow…

Jacque: (repeats it, with an arrow and hits the apple) Huh… That was easy…

Amidala: How?

Jacque: I know how to aim… A fool throws and aims a lot in the court!

Amidala: At least you know how to do this… Oh, keep in mind! Never face the sun! It could blind you
during combat, especially if it reflects from the blade..
Jacque: Understood!-

Queen: (from the castle) Padme? Where is Padme?? She has melted into thin air!!

Jacque: Huh? A princess is missing? I shall find her! (runs off)

Amidala: Wait! Doesn’t matter… (runs off too)

Queen: (enters the stables with Eleanor and a guard (who is going to be one of the competitors
actor) Padme! Where could my sweet Padme be?

Eleanor: Sister! Sister where are you?

Padme: (comes on stage) I am sorry mother! I was… Hungry for apples! (takes the apple from the
tree)

Eleanor: Was that tree always there?

Tree/Fruzsi: (shrugs) Oh yeah, I always was, totally… Don’t mind me

Queen: You’re grounded, young lady! You dare to scare me and your father like this! Escort her to
her room!

Padme: He doesn’t even care if I’m dead or alive!

Queen: Don’t you dare to talk back!

(The guard takes her away and the Queen leaves with Eleanor)

Jacque: (runs through the stage shorty after) Princess Padme?? Where are thee?

End of scene 5
Scene 6 – day two

Steward: Day two of the tournament for Princess Marionette Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le
Valois! round two, battle one! Dueling with shortswords! Jacque Condom versus Baron Antoine of
Avignon!

King: This must be the day the fool loses!

Eleanor: That is not right father! You know he has potential!

Queen: Eleanor, my dear. Keep quiet.

King: See, you’re even brothering the hobby horse that is your mother…

Queen: (rolls her eyes) You are as fat as butter…

King: If I were in your place, I would keep my mouth shut… Just like I do

Steward: Are the competitors ready?

Jacque: I am… Even though I hadn’t slept one wink…

Antoine: I am too!

Steward: Then… Let the duel begin! (trombones play)

(they duel, it’s mostly Jacque blocking Umberto and backing away. Umberto gets blinded by the sun,
falling to the ground and Jacque doesn’t stab him, but hits him with the edge of his sword)

King: Go Antoine, go!

Eleanor: Keep on fighting, Jacque! I know he can’t tear you apart! He can’t make holes on your
pride!

King: (when Antoine falls) The fool might actually be him, not Condom… (sighs)

Crowd: (cheers)

Steward: I declare that Jacque Condom has won! Does his majesty agree?

King: (sighs) Yes…

Crowd: (cheers again)

King: Condom! Do you spare him, or slay him?

Jacque: I spare him!

King: Ugh Weak! But alright let him leave.

Crowd: (boos)

Jacque: (to Elanor) I’ll continue winning! I hope I already have your heart! And soon, I will have your
hand too! I wear my heart upon my sleeve when it is about your angelic being! (he and Umberto
leave)

Steward: The third round of the day! IV Philippe Prince of Burgundy versus Prince Umberto of
Naples!
(they get on stage like previously)

Steward: Are the competitors ready?

Philippe/Jeanne: Yes.

Umberto: I will slay this man in half! Of course!

Steward: Let the duel begin! (trombones play)

(Umberto starts aggressively making moves (3), Philippe/Jeanne hits him with his sword so hard that
Umberto’s sword flies away and Philippe/Jeanne stabs him in his throat)

King: Uh… That was… fast… I declare IV Philippe Prince of Burgundy as the winner!

Crowd: (cheers)

King: Get rid of the corpse!

Someone:( comes on stage and takes the corpse away)

Steward: Very well then… Now for the last battle of the day! Percival Le Orleans versus Friedrick of
the Palatinate!

Percival and Friedrick: (they stand at the sides of the stage, like previously seen)

Steward: Are the competitors ready?

Percival: I always am!

Friedrick: Just like me!

Steward: May the battle begin! (Trombones play)

Percvial and Friedrick: (their duel is long, at the end Percival wins by knocking his opponent’s sword
out of his hand and stabbing him)

King: This duel is promising…

Eleanor: I hope nobody else dies today…

King: What do you mean? Stop with your nonsense! Death is what makes this enjoyable!

Eleanor: Death is a horrible thing!

Queen: Only for those who die…

Eleanor: And for those who watch!

Friedrick: (dies at this moment)

Crowd: (cheers)

King: (laughs) Ah, sorry what did you say, my daughter?

Jacque: (at the other side of stage, with the crowd) And he told me not to stab… But stabbing proved
them winners…

Eleanor: (starts crying and runs off stage)

King: Women… Never understood them… Her brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage
Queen: You didn’t say anything new… But do not say that about your own flesh and blood!

King: As if you could scold me, woman… Uh… I declare Percival Le Orleans as the winner of this
round! End of scene 6

Scene 7 - day 3 +The Le Orleans siblings

Steward: Welcome, welcome everyone to the third day of the Tournament for Princess Marionette
Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le Valois! Today, Archery is waiting upon our dear contestants!
And the King wishes to make an announcement!

King: Those who come out on top, during today’s battles, will be invited to a feast in my humble
castle! I shall invite six people, who earn the most points during the archery! May you give your best
today, and earn this prize of mine. Now, I hereby announce that the third day has begun!

Crowd: (cheers)

Steward: The scoring will be simple. There are five different colors on this mound… If a player hits
white, they get 1 point. Black is three points, blue is five, red is seven and yellow is nine… There will
be no duels today… So I call the first competitor… Vladyslaw of Moravia..

Vladyslaw: (comes on stage, prepares to shoot)

Steward: You may begin

Vladyslaw: (shoots three arrows)

Steward: (pulls them out) four points!

Crowd: (boo)

King: How blind can someone be to achieve only four points.How fool someone has to be to come
here in my presence to just Humiliate himself ?! I shall… Tax him for his clumsiness

Queen: (sigh) You can only tax the commoners. (just shakes her head)

Steward: I call the second competitor… Duke Lance of Mackva!

Lance: (comes on stage, shoots the arrows)

Steward: Seventeen points!

King: (scoffs) Better than the last one…

Queen: Shut up, will you?

Steward: I call the third competitor… Percival Le Orleans!

Percivel: Hah… Piece of cake! (shoots the arrows)

Steward: Nineteen points! I call the fourth competitor…. Konstantin of Rhodes!

Konstatin: (shoots the arrows)

Steward: Nine points! I call the fifth one… IV. Charles of Burgundy!

Charles: (shoots the arrows)

Steward: Nine points!

King: Nine points, nince points… This is getting boring…

Eleanor: At least nobody is dying today…

Steward: I call the next competitor… IV. Philippe Prince of Burgundy…

Philippe/Jeanne: (shoots the arrows)

King: There goes my favorite! The highest score so far! He is going to win this wretched tournament!

Steward: Twenty-five points! Now for the next one… Prince Felipe of Aragon!

Felipe (shoots the arrows)

Steward: Eleven points! Next one…. Jacque Condom!

Jacque: (comes on stage) Huh…. I hope… I’ll do good….

Eleanor: Jacque! I know you can do it! I believe in you!

King: Shut up, you!

Jacque: (shoots the arrows)

Steward: T-twenty…twenty seven points!

King: What?? Condom! Did you cheat?!

Jacque: N-no, your royal highness!

Queen: Look at him! He is just a fool. Even if he wanted to cheat… He wouldn’t be able to…

King: …Fair point… Very well then… The Steward will announce the lucky…winners who will attend
our dinner tonight…

Steward: Jacque Condom, IV. Philippe Prince of Burgundy, Percival Le Orleans, Prince Felipe of
Aragon, Duke Lance of Mackva, Konstantin of Rhodes!

King: I will welcome all of you, tomorrow evening!

(stage gets dark)

Percival: Josephine…? Josephine, are you here…?

Josephine: (enters the stage in a cloak) I am here, my brother… What do you wish from me?

Percival: I have… Ran into a problem today…

Josephine: What is it?

Percival: I think… I fear two of my opponents…

Josephine: Which two..?

Pecival: IV. Philippe Prince of Burgundy… and… That Jacque Condom…

Josephine: (scoffs) Philippe? He isn’t even a man…

Percival: What are you speaking now?

Josephine: That woman… Or whatever… She used to train us… Padme was always her favourite.
Padme this, Padme that, Padme is a true soldier.. And I was always told to hold myself back!
Nonsense… She always spoke of me as if I were a killing machine

Percival: My dear sister… You are an assassin…

Josephine: But I only became one after her hurtful words!

Percival: Not even because that… that woman killed our dear brother…?

Josephine: That soldier was her?!

Percival: If Philippe and Jeanne are the same person as you say… Then yes.

Josephine: (grins) I make sure to end her then… I will try my very best, brother. I will end her life and
avenge our dear brother Francis.. But what about Jacque? Why do we have to kill him? He is going to
die on his own, I don’t need to waste my time on him when I have a real target on my hands.

Percival: (sighs) That fool could kill me on accident… The way he swings his sword and falls around
the tournament… He is dangerous … We should find a way to get rid of them… Quietly.

Jospehine: Not into fair play, huh, brother… Well then… I suppose… We shall be sneaky, slippery
with this, like snakes… We should use poison, so they can’t suspect your doing in this…

Percival: You are right… If they find out I’m behind it, they’ll castigate me.

Josephine: When should we murder them…?

Percival: We should murder them during the dinner… So everyone can see their dead bodies…

Josephine: Hm! Let me poison their wine!

Percival: No, no that won’t work… You can’t come to the dinner…

Josephine: I’ll sneak in,. act like a maid… I’ll hand the wine to Jacque Condom and then he hands it
to Philippe! And they both die!

Percival: I have such smart sister! My own flesh and blood…

Josephine: We will come out on top.

Percival: As we always do!

(Director’s notes:
Ezt magyarul, mert komplikált. Szeretném, ha itt átjönne az, hogy ez a testvérpár a
főgonoszok. Mint az előző darabban is, de itt egy nagyobb revealt. Kicsit túlzó
testbeszédet, ami nyitottságot, magabiztosságot sugároz. Küldök majd példákat )
End of scene 7
Scene 8 – the dinner

(stage: everyone sitting at the table)

King: Has everyone arrived?

Steward: Your majesty’s younger daughter is… Not here yet…

King: My what?

Queen: Padme is still grounded. We may continue with the dinner.

King: Very well then! I announce that the royal dinner has begun!

(directors note: there will be multiple conversations happening here, we’ll have to figure
out how much to show from each, how to time them)
Conversation 1:

Eleanor and Jacque: (sitting next to each other)

Jacque: Princess… Your eyes are doves behind your veil…. Oh, how I adore thee… I cannot wait for
the day, thou become mine…

Eleanor: Jacque…

Jacque: In my hearts of hearts… I pray to god that we won’t become star-crossed lovers…

Eleanor: I must admit…. I feel the same.. I wish to be with you, for the rest of my life… I wish to wake
up to your smile, and laugh every morning…

Jacque: I always will treasure you, my dear Eleanor… I always will embrace you, and be with you… I
want to hear your beautiful voice, the angelic choir that’s within you…

Eleanor: Jacque… You’re the sole reason, I believe in love…

Jacque: And you’re the only reason, my beloved Eleanor, that I keep on breathing and fighting… If it
weren’t for you…

Eleanor: I wouldn’t be able to exist anymore…

Jacque: Me neither… My love for you is stronger than the Pope’s will in god…

Eleanor: My love for you is more honest, than a fairy’s words… (they get closer to each other)

Queen: Leave room for God and Jesus!

Conversation 2:

Percival: Your desires to marry the princess are not more than thoughts of nonsense my friend.

Philippe/Jeanne: I’ve got no such desires. I’m simply here for Glory it’s something you might never
experience..

Percival: (kurva szar kamu nevetés) You are a funny guy Philippe such a shame i’ll need to cut your
throat. Why would one come here just for Glory?

Philippe/Jeanne: as i said as someone who has never experienced such things, you’ll never be able
to understand it.
Percival: and how do you imagine this whole Glory thing. Both of us knows it well that Glory simply
isnt enough. Look at you. You lead the siege at Castillion with his Majesty and no one remembers
you. Is this the glory you desire being forgotten? Once i marry her royal highness i’ll become the Heir
to the throne. Meanwhile you. You’ll be lying 6 feet deep in the ground.

Philippe/Jeanne: those who have heard of it still remember it well. I wasnt forgotten. Perhaps I’ll
never be forgotten. You may be crowned King of France King of Aragon and the king of Naples . It
doesnt matter how many crowns you have. You’ll never be a competent ruler. Both of us knows that
too. You were never meant to be a king, it’s unfortunate that your brother died in his wounds. He
could have made a proper ruler…

Percival: Don’t bring him into this, you didn’t even think about sparing his life.

Philippe/Jeanne: It was his majesty’s order. Not win or lose but to live or die. He was weak and he
died, your fate will be the same, maybe with a little bit more elegance.

Percival We’ll see which one of us will be able to talk about future. At least I am an actual man…

Philippe/Jeanne: (mysteriously) In that case being beaten by a woman will cause you excruciating
pain…

Percival: Think again, woman… You won’t even come near me… Your dispicle will soon end you
Conversation 3
Felipe: Those two got a problem….

Lance: I do not understand why they act like their only opponent is each other… We are here too!

Konstantin: Oh, I understand them in some way… Everything is about those three…

Lance: Nonsense!

Konstantin: Just think about it… What if none of us is real. What if we are just characters, playing our
roles in a story and after we die, nobody remembers us. What if we are here to be slaughtered by
them… What if we’re only here to serve a role while everyone only cares about them? What if we’re
actually not ourselves? What if we’re in a play and share actors with other people? What if none of
this is real? We could be… Meaningless. Our judgement is as our existence… Unsubstantial… We’re
all meaningless. We don’t even exist…

Felipe: Are you… okay my brethren?

Lance: I think he… Might not be…

Konstantin: None of it is real. Nothing is real. One day, we’ll wake up, realising we never actually
existed… One day… Everything is going to fade to black and an endless void …

Lance: Uh… The princess looks beautiful as always.

Konstantin: Oh you’re right…

Felipe: Finally, he stopped…

Konstantin: Like a blooming flower…. But as times change, the flower slowly starts to fade away,
loses it’s petals, before its inevitable death…

Lance: Not again!!

During conversation 3

Jacque: (walking around the side of the stage) Should I… do a surprise performance for Eleanor? Like
a dance? Or singing...?

Josephine: Good evening, my sire… Would you like to have a cup of this exquisite wine…?

Jacque: Sure. Why not!

Josephine: Give one glass to Philippe too… I am certain, he’d like it… (hands him two glasses)

Jacque: Understood! This definitely isn’t something really shady and dangerous! (walks to the table)

Conversation 4

Jacque: (hands Philippe the glass) A maid asked me to hand this to you… (sits back down)

Philippe/Jeanne: (smells it) Hm… It has… An interesting aroma to it…

Percival: Must be delicious… Give it a taste!

Philippe/Jeanne: I will… Later…

Percival: Come on! Just a taste! (tries to lift the wine glass)

Philippe/Jeanne: (spills it) Oh, such a tragedy… This fine wine… Spilt all over the place…

Percival: Indeed a tragedy…

King: Ugh! You! Maid! (shouts to Josephine) Get a floor cloth and clean the juice up!

Josephine: Me..?

King: Yes! So hurry up, before I leave you hanging!

Josephine: Understood, your majesty! (goes away and returns with Fruzsi and starts to mop the
floor, using Fruzsi) It is done, my lord… (goes away with Fruzsi)

Queen: I wonder how that wine tasted…

Jacque: I didn’t drink from mine yet…

Queen: Give me that, then! (takes the wine)

Percival: Y-your majesty wait!

Philippe/Jeanne: That wine could be dangerous!

Queen: Quiet!

Percival: Are you sure it is a good idea to drink from a fool’s glass?

Queen: I said quiet! (drinks from the glass) This… Tastes funny… (drinks more and then falls to the
table, face first, in her food)
King: Ugh, you silly woman! Get up!

Eleanor: Are you fine, mother?

Philippe/Jeanne: (gets up and looks at her pulse) Your majesty… I think she… got poisoned…

King: Nonsense! Get up, you woman! I am tired of your tricks! (shakes her and her crown falls to the
ground) oh.. she… she really passed…

Eleanor: (screams) Mother!!

Konstantin: We all die in the end.

(stage gets dark again)

End of scene 8

Scene 9 – The funeral

Stage: (queen’s corpse somewhere, we’ll figure this out together. Everyone is standing next to te
Queen)

Pope: Let us pray. We commend unto thy hands of mercy, most merciful Father, the soul of our
sister departed, and we commit her body to the ground, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
O merciful Father, for the sake of Jesus Christ, our only Savior, Mediator, and Advocate. Amen.

(The King, Eleanor and Padme throw flowers on the Queen)

Eleanor: (crying) Who could do such cruel thing?? Who would try to poison my dear mother and
Jacque Condom at the same time?

Padme: We are going to find the culprit! And make them pay!

King: (sighs) This isn’t the time to think about that. Let us mourn her passing now… People! I
announce that the tournament will be on the hold for three weeks…

Steward: Uh. Your majesty…

King: Yes?

Steward: The commoners are…. Revolting…

King: Huh?? What do you mean revolting??

Steward: They are fed up with the uh… Taxes…

King: Then we simply shall end their lives.

Steward: But your highness! If the commoner’s are gone, your source of money will be too…

King: Hmm… In that case…We won’t be mourning her passing and we’re going to continue with the
tournament! The day after tomorrow, we’ll continue!

Eleanor: Father! We mustn’t! This is unethical!

King: What does the Pope think?

Pope: (stays silent for a minute and acts like he is listening to something) God didn’t show any sign of
disagreement…
King: In that case! The tournament shall continue!

End of scene 9

Scene 10 – Training, Le Orleans siblings and the mother of Jacque

Stage: parted in the middle. The scene will be shifting back and forth. To make the shifts
clearer, the right side of the stage will be in italics , the left side will be bold and when the
whole stage is used it will be normal. On stage the shifting will be shown with the lights
shifting
Amidala: This is your last training, Jacque…

Jacque: I cannot believe that… I am so close to winning the Princess…

Percival: We were so close to poisoning both of them! I cannot believe this!

Josephine: Next time, we will get them brother… I am sure of it…! Did she recognise my poison?

Percival: Looks like it!

Josephine: Fret not… I am going to kill her one way or another…

Percival: But how?!

Jacque: But how am I going to win a duel?? Especially if its… Freestyle?? I am… Incapable of such
thing…

Amidala: Worry not! Do you know who’s going to be your opponent..?

Jacque: (starts to think about it) I think… Iv. Philippe… Prince of…

Percival: Ugh, and don’t even mention that Prince of Burgundy! (imitates “ with his hands)

Josephine: You mean Jeanne??

Percival: Yes! Any more of her conversation would infect my brain! She is only fighting for glory!

Josephine: She was always like that… Her tricks are going to be more and more of a problem.

Amidala: Oh… That could be a problem…

Jacque: I am terrified! What if I can’t defeat him? He is far stronger than me!

Percival: She’s dangerous! And way stronger than me! A mere woman…

Josephine: Don’t care about that! She is going to meet her inevitable death…

Percival: How?! How my dear sistder?!

Josephine: Hmm… What if we use arrows? This time?

Jacque: The only weapon I can handle is a bow and its arrows… But that is useless for a duel…

Amidala: It will be fine! Let me think…

Percival: Let me think… Hm… Those two are actually going to duel against each other… Yes! Try to
shoot Jeanne, and we’ll handle Condom later…
Josephine: See, brother? The two of us can get through any obstacle!

Amidala: This duel is nothing more than an obstacle in your journey… I think you shouldn’t use the
arrows… Make him unable to fight with your sword, be defensive.

Jacque: Would that work…?

Amidala: Of course! But let us practice… (hands him a sword, Fruzsi as the tree comes on stage and
Jacque starts to practice)

Percival: Of course! The world is our oyster!

Josephine: And once you marry the Princess, it will be a brave new world! And once I end that
woman, I will be freed of my past!

Jacque: (still practicing) I hope so… I want be in a brave new world with my one and only Eleanor…

Amidala: You will be… Hey! Back straight, legs more apart!

Jacque: (fixes his positon and continues) But… I fear that… I am going to fail… Maybe this isn’t for
me… Percival and Philippe are more capable of marrying her…

Amidala: That doesn’t mean a thing. Don’t let Percival’s green-eyed monster of jealousy towards you
scare you away….

Jacque: I shall… melt into thin air… I am so sorry, Amidala… I am grateful for everything you’ve done
to me… (runs away)

Josephine: After we’ve got rid of Jeanne… We’ll poison Jacque and he’ll melt into thin air!

Percival: That is an amazing plan! (they leave)

Stage: (it gets fully dark, Jacque’s mother (MARION) gets on the left side then the right side lights up)

Philippe/Jeanne: (gets on stage, while Padme is still disguised as Amidala) Padme… You wish to talk
to me?

Padme: (takes her cloak off) I do, master…

Philippe/Jeanne: Did something happen my pupil? Is there a problem, Padme?

Marion: (Jacque runs in her house/on stage) My… my son… is there a problem?

Jacque: Mother… (runs up to her and hugs her)

Marion: (hugs him back then quickly, pushes him away in a gentle way, and holds his shoulders)
My son… Is there something wrong? Jacque, did something happen?

Philippe/Jeanne: Did something happen, Padme? Answer me please!

Padme: No… Nothing actually happened…

Jacque: Yes…. I am afraid I… Cannot continue living in the court…

Marion: But Jacque! You fought so fiercely! I saw you competing!

Jacque: You did??

Marion: I did… And I am so proud of you… So what is it you came here for?
Philippe/Jeanne: So what is it I had to come here for…? Your master isn’t exactly in a place to meet
anyone she pleases…

Padme: It’s about Jacque Condom… I know that this will be a big thing to ask from you, since you
adore glory and fair play and wish to show that a woman is capable of winning…

Philippe/Jeanne: Let me guess… You want me to lose the next round…

Padme: Please let him win! I am asking you this as your sworn sister, your pupil, as another woman
on the battlefield. Jeanne, my master! Let him win! My sister is madly in love with him! As any good
sister, I shall help her achieve this marriage but… He isn’t capable of everything…

Jacque: I just… I… (takes a deep breath) I am not capable of doing this. I am not fit for a king, I am
not… A champion. I cannot win this tournament…

Marion: Jacque! You’d be an amazing king…

Jacque: No mother… I wouldn’t be…

Marion: Oh come on… You’d be such a nice king, you wouldn’t even tax your poor mother…

Jacque: (chuckles, but his face turns serious) I mean it… I am just a fool… A commoner, without a
father…

Marion: (sighs) My son… There is something… Something I need to tell you…

Philippe/Jeanne: There is something I need to tell you… I’ve actually…

Padme: Don’t tell me…

Philippe/Jeanne: I’ve been actually planning on losing this next round. I have merely come here to
find Josephine again. This tournament seemed like a good place knowing her family… I must make
my mistake right. I should have kept her on the right path

Padme: I understand. In that case… a weight has been lifted…

Marion: I can finally let go off this heavy weight that’s been on my shoulder… (she takes off her
necklace) Look at this my son…

Jacque: What is that…?

Marion: This. This is a proof….

(stage: Padme and Philippe leave the whole stage is Marion’s and Jacque’s)

Marion: This is proof that you’re the son of his majesty. You’re not Jacque Condom. You’re Jaqcue Le
Valois Prince of France…

Jacque: What??

Marion: Your father left this for me… In case I gave birth to a son… So I could prove that the son is
his… Even if he is just a love child…

Jacque: Then.. I have rights for the throne!

Marion: You do my son, you do… But you shall continue fighting! To prove that your father’s blood
that runs through your veins is one of the kings… To prove that you do not fret when seemingly all
hope is lost…
Jacque: (nods) I will continue.

Marion: (puts the necklace on him) Wear this… So it gives you strength… I’ll pray to god, so you have
all the support, we can gather…

Jacque: Thank you mother… (he hugs her again) I will see you, when I become the king.

End of scene 10
Scene 11 – The tournaments continue

Marion: (around the stairs on her knees, praying)

Steward: Welcome, welcome all! I announce that the fourth day has begun! Today our warriors will
be dueling against each other, but they get to choose their own weapons!

Fruzsi (comes on stage as the wind and starts walkin around)

Steward: Despite the wind! The tournament for the hand of Princess Marionette Delancy Nicolette
Sandrine Eleanor le Valois in marriage will continue!

Fruzsi: (walks up to the Steward and takes his roll and hat)

Steward: Sometimes I despise my job…

King: I have been waiting for this since the tournament begun! You too Eleanor, right?

Eleanor: (completely traumatised at this point) Yes father… Of course…

King: Shut up you!- Wait what did you just say…? Is my… little princess finally accepting how the
world works…?

Padme: (hugs her sister) It will be fine, Eleanor… Soon, all of it is going to be over…

Steward: The first duel of the day! Felipe of Aragon versus Duke Lance of Mackva!

(they get on stage)

Steward: Felipe of Aragon, what will be your choice of weapon today?

Felipe: I will be fighting with a mace! (swings it)

Steward: Wonderful. Duke Lance of Mackva, what will be your choice of weapon for the day?

Lance: My weapon of choice will be a shortsword.

Steward: Very well then… May the duel begin! (trombones play)

Lance and Felipe: (they start to duel, details will be done by csaba thx. They both die at the end)

Crowd: cheers

King: Yes! Bloodshed! Finally!

Eleanor: (mumbling to herself) Soon it will be over… Soon it will be over!

King: (laughing) Look, my daughter! All this for your sake!

Padme: Father, I don’t think she likes this..

King: You may follow your mother’s steps

Steward: I announce that both contestants lost their lives… (someone takes the corpses away) For
the next duel of the day… Konstantin of Rhodes versus Percival Le Orleans!

(they come on stage)

Steward: Konstantin of Rhodes… What will be your choice of weapon?

Konstantin: A shortsword…

Steward: And what will be your weapon of choice, Percival Le Orleans?

Percival: (with a grin on his face) A mace.

Steward: (nods) Then let the duel begin!

Percival and Konstantin: (they duel but Percival hits Konstantin in the head. He falls to the ground
and before Percvial strikes the final blow he starts speaking)

Konstantin: Just like I have said. We’re nothing but tools for them. We are used for slaughter… Our
existence is like a mere bug’s… We end up crushed, smushed under someone’s boot on their way to
victory… We’re useless. Nothing more than useless…

Percival: (strikes him in the head again)

Konstantin: Please… the audience that is watching me… do not forget my death…rather… deaths….
(dies)

Crowd: (we will be playing the sound of crickets)

King: I… did not know such melancholy exists…

Eleanor: He is right… I, myself…. I am also nothing more than a tool for the rulers of the world and
for the contestants… Soon I’ll also end up killed…

Padme: Do not think about such things, my dear sister! You’re not a tool. You’re a human! With a
heart so big, with a smile so bright… Do not lose yourself…

Eleanor: Ah… I am deeply sorry… I may have gone… too silly…

Steward: I…uh…announce Percival Le Orleans as the winner of this duel and one of the contestants
of the final round…! Now, for the last duel for the day… The duel that decides who will be taking the
third place and who will be making it to the finals! I call… Iv. Philippe Prince of Burgundy and Jacque
Condom!

(they get on stage, Jacque is shaking)

Steward: IV Philippe Prince of Burgundy… What weapon will you be fighting with?

Philippe/Jeanne: A sword

Steward: And uh… you, fool?

Jacque: I… also will be fighting with a sword…

Steward: Fantastic. Begin the duel!

Jacque and Philippe/Jeanne: (they start the duel and Philippe is obviously not fighting fiercely)

Josephine: (jumps on stage in a cloak and shoots an arrow)

Stage: everything turns into slow motion)

Fruzsi, the arrow: (while holding the arrow she starts walking in a line towards the fight, but ends up
hitting the Steward’s leg who collapses and screams)
King: Quit screaming! I’m watching them!

Philippe/Jeanne and Jacque: (the fight continues and Philippe drops his weapon)

Philippe/Jeanne: Oh I have been… disarmed… looks like I cannot continue fighting

Jacque: (his eyes lit up in excitement) I spare you! You have my mercy!

King: (jumps up) That cannot be! My eyes must be deceiving me! My favourite cannot lose against
him,how can you be such a disgrace my former general lost to a fool that doesnt even know how to
hold his sword! Condom, You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you
stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you
vile standing tuck!

Philippe/Jeanne: My king, it is alright… He fought fiercely…

King: But you cannot lose just yet!

Percival: They cheated! He helped that fool!!

Philippe/Jeanne: I have not… I have achieved the glory, that is all…

Percival: Ugh!! You liar!

King: With a… heavy heart… I announce Jacque Condom…as the winner…

Eleanor: (runs up to Jacque) You did it! You only have the finals left, my love!

Percival: Where I will be taking his life! (storms off)

Jacque: Do not worry, my dear… I will win this forsaken tournament…

Marion: (goes up to him) See, my son…? I told you you can do it…

King: Ew, enough of the… love… I announce that the two contestants who made it to the finals are
invited to a dinner in my palace! Steward uh… Please inform Percival too…

Steward: (sántítva) yes my lord… Yes… (goes after him)

End of scene 11
Scene 12 – The kings death

Stage: (everyone is sitting at the table)

King: Let us have one final feast, before my daughter gets wed…

Eleanor: I wish mother was here…

King: I wish she was a better woman… We don’t get what we wish for…

Percival: I certainly will get what I wish for (winks at Eleanor)

Padme: (kicks him under the table) I don’t think so

Percival: ’ll beat thee, but I would infect my hands…

King: (scoffs) I think much worse things would happen.. (drinks from his wine, but he is already
drunk)

Padme: May I ask you why do you hate me?

Eleanor: Sister, leave him be…

King: Who are you again?

Padme: (stands up, frustrated) Your daughter? You know, my mother just died!!

King: (starts laughing) Oh, you actually aren’t… (drinks again)

Padme: What?

King: (drinks again) Your mother was like a glove… She easily went on and off…

Padme:…What??

King: Your mother slept with other men. That is it. You coming to lie ruined our love, but I decided
to…raise you…

Jacque: Sounds like her majesty could have earned the money she spent by doing her hobby…

King: (drinks more wine) Where is the pope?

Steward: The Pope has arrived! (comes on stage with the pope)

King: Ah! I am so happy to see you! Sit… There!

Pope: (sits down) My condolences for being late… I am delighted to be here…

King: Would you pray with us?

Pope: Certainly

Everyone: (signs the cross)

Pope: Father of us all, This meal is a sign of Your love for us: Bless us and bless our food, And help us
to give you glory each day Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen!

Everyone: Amen! (they sign the cross)

King: Let’s begin the feast then! (they all start eating)-
King: Condom, please! Entertain us all!

Jacque: Me? But…

King: Even though you’re in the tournament, you’re still my fool. So keep on doing your job…

Jacque: Okay, your highness but… What exactly should I do?

King: Juggle! With knives!

Pope: This sounds… dangerous….

King: It is! But it is entertaining you’ll see….

Percival: (his eyes lit up) That sound amazing… Let’s hope he… doesn’t stab himself… Are there any
maids around? They should see this! (he says this really loud)

Jacque: (gets up and gathers some knives) Alright… (starts juggling)

Josephine: (after hearing what Percival has said, she comes on stage and watches Jacque)

Percival: Ah, a maid! Please come… closer… To see better…

Josephine: Certainly, lord… (she starts walking towards Percival and pushes Jacque who drops his
knives)

Jacque: Ah! My knives! (runs around the stage to gather them) I can’t find one… Has anyone seen
one more knife? I have lost my knife!

King: What kind of knife was it?

Jacque: It was made from metal, it was narrow…

King: I think I know where it is…

Jacque: Where?

King: In my back

Jacque: Ah! (pulls it out and the King immediately collapses on the table)

King: (dead)

Eleanor: Father! Father, no! (gets up and starts shaking) Is father dead??

Percival: The fool! The fool murdered him! Guards! Guards get him!

Jacque: What?? No, I didn’t!

Guards: (they take Jacque away)

Percival and Josephine: (they do a discreet high five)

Jacque: I didn’t! Stop!!

Eleanor: (crying) Father… I have… been orphaned…

End of Scene 12
Scene 13 – The king’s consultants

Stage: Resembling a court, the pope is in the middle with two consultants on his side. Jacque is
facing them, on his knees, his arms tied together. Jacque is NOT facing the audience, he is showing
his back. The Princesses are on the side of the stage with Philippe and Marion. Percival and
Josephine are on the other side, resembling the differences between them.

Steward: (walks on the stage) We have gathered here to convict Jacque Condom of assassinating the
King during the feast yesterday….

Pope: As the Pope and the voice of God and the holy spirit… I have the privilege to judge this young
man’s case instead of the King, until a new King takes the throne… On my left we have… Simon
Delafosse and on my right, we have Noé Archiviste. They are the King’s main consultants.

Noé: Jacque Condom. Please present your profession to the court…

Jacque: I am the King’s fool…

Simon: Wait, you’re? Weren’t you off duties?

Jacque: I wasn’t! (turns to the audience) A fool stays a fool… Even if he is fighting for the Princess…

Simon: That complicates things…

Percival: Why would it? He murdered the King! He must be punished!

Noé: The law… doesn’t quite apply to the Jester.

Percival: What?!

Eleanor: J-just like he said… The court jester has the right to do anything in the court during his
duties…

Josephine: That is foolish! He murdered the king!

Padme: It was an accident, if you didn’t see! He tripped during juggling…

Josephine: He just made it look like that! A jester know’s how to act and lie!

Philippe/Jeanne: So do you.

Padme: As he said. I don’t remember you and I know all the maids… Could it be you… pushed Jacque
Condom?

Pope: Let us not jump into conclusion. Everyone shall tell the truth as our saviour is in the room with
us…

Simon: Jacque. Speak your truth.

Jacque: I was merely following the King’s orders… I juggled with knives, as he asked me to… Then I
felt something, which… made me lose my balance and I dropped my knives… And one landed in the
King’s back…

Percival: Do not forget the part where you pulled the knife out! Killing the king! That was a
deliberate act!

Eleanor: Leave him be! It was an accident! I am mourning my mother and father I will not mourn my
lover! Jacque Condom is innocent!
Josephine: He took the life of the King!

Padme: Accidentally!

Noé: Enough! I cannot hear my own thoughts… I propose a solution…

Marion: May… May I have a word?

Simon: Who are you commoner?

Percival: We do not need to listen to a mere commoner’s words!

Marion: I am the mother of this poor boy… And there is something that must be discussed.

Simon: (sighs) Alright. I suppose we have time to listen to you…

Marion: (signs the cross) Forgive me father for I have sinned… But this boy… This boy was never my
husband’s child… He is the King’s one and only son.

Percival: Nonsense! Stop lying woman! You’re only after the King’s money!

Marion: I am only telling the truth, as the Lord and his son are watching us from above… My son is
the King’s son, and I have proof… Jacque, my dear… Show them your necklace…

Jacque: (shows them the necklace) Yes! The King gave this to my mother… I wished to show this to
the King yesterday! But… he died before I could…

Marion: Why would a son, kill his own father…?

Percival: That is just some cheap iron! It cannot be real!

Marion: It is made from silver…

Josephine: Cannot be! Cannot be!

Jacque: This necklace means… I have rights for the throne!

Noé: I am afraid, no

Percival: Hah!

Noé: Only the King is allowed to authorize such… Objects… And now that he has passed away, it
cannot be decided if it belonged to him, or not. I am afraid, you still count as a commoner now.

Marion: I am sorry, my son… I should have told you sooner…

Josephine: So, as far as I am aware, he is guilty and must be charged!

Philippe/Jeanne: No. He has rights to do anything in the court…

Eleanor: Plus, it was an accident!

Padme: Which was caused by you! Shall we talk about what was a woman, disguised as a maid,
doing in the court?! Hmm, Josephine?

Josephine: Lies! All lies! I am a maid!

Pope: Enough! Silence. The holy spirit is talking to me….

Simon: What does it say…?

Pope: It is saying… That many people in this room are guilty… So, to decipher the next King… The
tournament shall continue and winner gets to rule this nation and marry the Princess…

Percival: He is a murderer!

Eleanor: So are you! You took the lives of many in the battles…!

Percival: That is a different case!

Eleanor: Murder is murder. It doesn’t matter why you did it.

Simon: I’d like to add one condition as the King’s consultant…

Josephine: H-hold on! Jacque Condom also poisoned the Queen! He handed her poisoned wine!

Noé: We have discussed that with the King before his passing. The Queen took the wine herself,
meaning someone was trying to poison the Jester, but the Queen saved him. He is innocent in that
matter. It was just a tragic accident.

Philippe/Jeanne: But if you happen to know the culprit, feel free to speak up.

Percival and Josephine: (they stay silent)

Padme: That’s what I thought… Cowards…

Simon: So… The condition that will be added… The final round will be life or death. The one who
comes out alive will win the tournament. The weapon will be swords.

Percival: I’ll end this fool’s life! Just you see!

Jacque: This fool will win the Princess somehow…

End of scene 13
Scene 14 – the final round.

Marion: (at her spot praying)

Steward: Welcome all, welcome all! Today is the fifth and last day of the tournament for Princess
Marionette Delancy Nicolette Sandrine Eleanor le Valois’s hand in marriage! Today, the Court Jester
Jacque Condom and Percival Le-

Percival: (rushes on stage, in armour) Shut up and let us begin!

Steward: (throws the roll on the ground) Fuck this! I am done being used! The King is done and so is
my paycheck! I’M quitting! (rushes of stage, but he is still limping)

Stage: (everyone is silent)

Fruzsi: (rolls through the stage as the ördögszekér)

Eleanor: Uh… Ohm..

Padme: Percival! You cannot be this disrespectful!

Percival: I do not care! Jacque Condom! Get up here and face me like a man! Show me that you’re fit
to be a king!

Jacque: (arrives on stage) Come what come may… (screams in surprise as Percival starts to run up to
him to murder him. Jacque runs away) Percival, this isn’t in the rules!

Percival: Get back here! Face me like a man, if you are fit for a king! Defeat me in a duel! Defeat me
before I slice your head off, lowly jester!

Jacque: This isn’t the duel I anticipated! (Continues running)

Percival: This isn’t the enemy I anticipated! (stops and turns around)

Jacque: ( when he arrives in front of him, he quickly turns and starts running again) I am terrified!!

Percival: You better be, blinking idiot!

Jacque: Eleanor my dear, I may be defeated today!

Eleanor: I believe in you, my love!!

Percival: Shut up! He is going to meet his end today and become laughing stock! (tries to stab him
but Jacque dodges)

Jacque: Percival! I plead to thee, calm down!

Percival: I will once the life leaves your body!

Jacque: (stops and in a panic puts his leg out) Percival, let’s stop and start the duel again! Peacefully!

Percival: Never! (he trips in Jacque’s leg and stabs himself with his sword)

Jacque: Uh… Are you alright…?

Pope: I-is… Is he dead…?

Simon: I… suppose…?
Pope: Then… I announce Jacque Condom as the winner of the tournament!

Crowd: (cheers)

Eleanor: (runs up to him and hugs him, he spins her around) You did it my love! You did it!!

Jacque: I did it my dear! We can be together! Finally!

Padme: I told you, my sister! I told you, that he can do it!

Marion: (walks up to Jacque) I am proud of you my son… I am sure your father would be too… In his
own ways…

Jacque: Words cannot describe the feelings that are within me…

Eleanor: Words do not need to describe it. You only need to feel them… It’s all over…

Together: Our time has come. We can be together…

End of Scene 14
Scene 15 – the wedding and the end

Stage: (Every single character that’s alive is present., except Josephine, They are standing in the
sides, the pope is in the middle. Trombones play)

Jacque and Eleanor: (from the audience, walking to the stage)

Pope: We gathered here on this glorious day to witness the bond of two people’s true love… They
fought and prayed to see this day of their life… God of loving devotion, may this couple be filled with
love for each other that reflects your love for them. Your love always trusts, may they always trust
each other. Your love always hopes, may they always be filled with the hope that is found in you.
Your love always perseveres, may their love for each other endure through the difficulties of life.
Your love never fails, may their love remain strong until the end. Fill them with your love, that they
may love each other in the same way. Through Jesus Christ, our Lord, Amen.

Jacque and Eleanor: (they arrive on stage)

Jacque: Are you happy my love…? My… love?

Eleanor: (crying) I am, I truly am…

Jacque: What is the problem, dear?

Eleanor: I’ve lost so many people! My mother, my father! M-many people died during the
tournament! Such bloodshed for this day! (starts crying more) And my ring isn’t even a real
diamond!

Jacque: But love… We are finally together! We survived through these hardships, because we had
each other…

Eleanor: But there was still far more life lost than what should have been! Oh, Jacque…

Jacque: I know my dear, I know… And I am deeply sorry for your losses… But we’ve got to keep
going… So, after this point our lives can be perfect…

Eleanor: (nods) O-okay… Let us continue…

Pope: Jacque Condom, do you take Princess…Marionette… uh… Ugh, do you take her as your lawful
wedded wife, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you honor, love comfort, and cherish her
from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto her for as long as you both shall live?

Jacque: I do

Pope: Princess… do you take Jacque Condom as your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy
estate of matrimony? Will you honor, love, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward,
forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?

Eleanor: I do.

Pope: Married life is a mutual enrichment, a mingling of two lives, which diminishes neither, but
enhances both through a give and take between two personalities. As much as you have both
consented to be together in the union of matrimony and you have pledged your faith each to the
other in the presence of God, your family, and friends, may you continue in this manner as long as
you both shall live. And by the authority vested in me by our saviour and God, I now pronounce you
both husband and wife… King and Queen of France… (puts the Crown on Jacque and then on
Eleanor, but just before people could start clapping and cheering)

Josephine: (runs on stage) Hold it!

Jacque: (steps forward and pushes Eleanor behind himself) What do you want, maid?

Josephine: Oh, you really are a blinking idiot! I never was a maid! (gets a dagger out) I shall avenge
my brother’s death! (tries to attack Jacque)

Padme: (steps in) Pipe down! Let them be! Josepine, this isn’t you! Why did you change like this?

Josephine: If you stand in my way, I will kill you too!

Padme: I’d like to see you try!

Josephine: You lump of foul deformity! (puts her dagger away and takes a sword out and starts to
attack Padme)

Padme: (takes a defensive stance, her movements are limited because of her dress)

Josephine: You can’t even fight like this, stupid Princess! (looks at Philippe/Jeanne) I was always
better, see master?! See??

Philippe/Jeanne: (joins the fight) I will not have my students duel against each other!

Jacque: (puzzled) Students???

Josephine: (has difficulties defending herself against two people) And I will not let my brother’s
death be for nothing!

Padme: But it will be for nothing! (hits Josephine’s arm)

Josephine: (her sword flies away from her hand, hitting Marion)

Marion: (collapses immediately)

Philippe/Jeanne: (pushes Josephine to the ground and Padme hols her down)

Jacque: M-mother?? (Rushes to Marion, kneels down and holds her)

Marion: (dying) Jacque… You have become King…

Jacque: Mother! Somebody help her!

Marion: It is alright… God wanted my story to end here… You have achieved your glory my son… A
true glory… My last wish for you is to live happily ever after…. (passes away)

Jacque: (sighs) All this… All this bloodshed and suffering… Just for me… (looks up to the sky) God… if
you are there… If this is your way of asking me to be a better King than he was… I shall be… (lets go
of his mother and stands up)

Stage: (everyone starts leaving, someone take Marion off stage and escort Josephine away. Eleanor
stays)

Eleanor and Jacque: (they hold each others hand and walk to the stage front)
Eleanor: The chapter of my life as Princess has ended… I shall rule as the Queen of France and serve
my husband

Jacque: My life as the Court Jester has ended… And my life as the King of France starts… (they leave)

End of Scene 15

Scene 16

After a few minutes of silence, when the audience stats clapping

Josephine: (runs on the stage) Those fools… They will never catch me with dogs and arrows…

Philippe/Jeanne: (from behind her) But I certainly will….

Josephine: Jeanne?! (spins around and turns to face her)

Philippe/Jeanne: Josephine… I have not seen you in so long…

Josephine: (grabs her sword) Don’t come any closer!

Philippe/Jeanne: Listen! I may have been harsh on you… I was merely trying to make the best out of
you… You were never destined to go down a path like this..

Josephine: You can’t feed me with your lies anymore… I will end this for once and for all! (attacks
Philippe/Jeanne)

Philippe/Jeanne: (only defends herself for a while) Josephine please! Let us leave the past behind!
You’re still young, you have much to live for… You could come with me and walk the path of light
and glory again!

Josephine: No! I am going to end you, so I will be free and happy for a change! I will avenge my
family, I will make my life right!

Philippe/Jeanne: I see… Your soul is beyond saving by my hands… Let god decide your fate then…
(takes on offensive positions and attacks)

Josephine: (struggles to keep up with her attacks)

Philippe/Jeanne: You are not the only one who got stronger!

Josephine: No! I mustn’t lose!

Philippe/Jeanne: Then fight like I taught you! Or realise our mistake and give up! Become my
student again!

Josephine: (cuts Jeanne somewhere on her body)

Philippe/Jeanne: I see… So you leave me with no choice…

(they fight fiercely and Josephine gets a fatal wound(not dead yet)

Josephine( falls ont he ground) No… I must… avenge..

Philippe/Jeanne: May god have mercy on you. May you find your brothers in the afterlife… (kills her)

End of scene 16

End of the play