EPIC Fight Scene

Chad:
Do you bite your thumb at me, sir?

Kacy:
I do bite my thumb, sir.

Chad
Do you bite your thumb at ME, sir?

Kacy:
No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
bite my thumb, sir.

Chad:
Have at you!(as I attack or maybe as I initially go to en guarde)

Away with you!(as I push you back)

Kacy
You painted maypole!(as you come back to meet me)

(When I lunge at you before the circle parry, I shall say "Though she be but little, she is
fierce!" LUNGE!)

Chad
You acorn!(as either our swords touch or as you are walking to me)

I'll probably just let out a yell as I molenay(sic) into the running lunge.

Kacy:
You can call me a "rat-catcher" if you want as you tap my blade.

Chad
With God(raise my blade to the heavens) as my witness, your life will end today.

Kacy:

What wouldst thou have with me?

Chad:

Good King of Cats, NOTHING(slash as you dodge left) but ONE(slash as you dodge
right) of your nine LIVES(as I slash horizontally).

I make whatever sound for the crotch kick.

Drop into the rotten mouth of death. Muahahaha!(raise arms)

Kacy:
Fit to govern. No, not to live.(as you die)

Scene End.

TYBALT:

Thou art a villain. Therefore turn and draw.

MERCUTIO:

You rat-catcher, will you walk?

TYBALT:
What wouldst thou have with me?

MERCUTIO:
Good king of cats, nothing but one of your nine
lives.

ROMEO: (HAHA! How fitting!!!)

Put thy rapier up.
---------------

I also found some Shakespearean insults we could use if need be:

1) You are a fishmonger.

2) Drop into the rotten mouth of death.(I think I could say this after I stab you as I
raise my arms)

3) You painted maypole. (I could call you that since you are tall. hahaha)

4) Thou odiferous doghearted foot-licker!

5) You cankerblossom!

6) You acorn!(used by Chad)

7) We leak in your chimney.

8) O illiterate loiterer.

9) Thou venomed tickle-brained barnacle!

10) Thou errant hasty-witted clotpole!

11) Thou saucy swag-bellied harpy!

12) Thou vain onion-eyed measle!

13) Thou rank clapper-clawed hugger-mugger!

14) Why, he's a man of wax.

15) You egg, you fry of treachery.

16) You Banbury cheese.

17) Thou disease of a friend.

18) King Urinal.

19) Fit to govern. No, not to live.

20) You should be women and yet your beards forbid me to intepret that you are so.

21) Thou unfit for any place but hell.

22) She is spherical like a globe, I could find countries in her.

23) Thou lump of foul deformity.

24) I do not like your look, I promise thee.

25) You have such a February face, so full of frost, of storm and cloudiness.

I definitely dig the biting thumbs at people. As that was a pretty grievous insult back in the day.
A perfect reason to fight. Also, didn't Shakespeare come up with the first "your mother"
joke/insult?

Yes, he used a form of a "your mother" joke/insult:

In Timon of Athens the dialogue in Act 1, Scene 1:

Painter: "Y'are a dog."

Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

And it's used in Act 4, Scene II of Titus Andronicus:

Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"

Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."

Chiron: "Thou has undone our mother."

Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother."

We could just jumble all of this stuff together and go with it. It's going to be hilarious. The main
thing is to be totally serious about it and not laugh. I think we can do it. hahaha! YES!

I'm down with whatever. I can be serious, when I need to be. My poker face is better than Lady
Gaga's. lol