Anglo-Chinese School (Independent)

English Language and Literature Department

YEAR 3 INTEGRATED PROGRAMME

PROCESS WRITING EXERCISE: SAMPLE ESSAYS

Instructions: Read the sample essays and evaluate the strengths and areas of
improvement.

- What are your impressions of Rochelle and the situation she and her children are in?
- How does the writer build tension and suspense in the reader?

Sample Essay 3

The extract, taken from A Place of Safety by Tony Earley, narrates the story of an American

mother separated from her children amidst a deadly tornado. This essay will discuss how

Rochelle is presented as foolish, the situation she and her children are in is initially

presented as dangerous before progressing to lethal, and how the writer builds tension and

suspense with foreshadowing and visual imagery.

Firstly, this essay has the impression of Rochelle as foolish, and this foolishness

foreshadows a turn of events for the worse to build tension and suspense. The extract starts

off with Rochelle contemplating whether to leave her home to journey to the supermarket,

and she eventually decides to do so, leaving her children alone in the process. Although the

tornado warning sirens had “been going off all morning”, and the weather was “too hot, too

humid, too still, the air singed with ozone”, Rochelle mistakenly believed that she could make

the journey “there and back, five minutes flat, ten tops”. The writer describes the sight of

“low, black clouds roiling by… but not a breath of air stirring on the ground”. These are clear

signs, both to Rochelle and the reader, that a tornado is imminent. The kinesthetic imagery

of “roiling” depicts an image of the clouds moving in a turbulent and chaotic manner,

indicating that the oncoming tornado will be violent and deadly. Yet, Rochelle dismisses

these signs and proceeds to the supermarket anyway, leaving her vulnerable children alone,

© All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced without the permission of ACS (Independent).
Year 3 Language Arts / ACS (Independent) / 2022 Page 1
and readers clearly get the impression that she is a foolish woman. Because of this, the

author has made readers acutely aware that Rochelle is making the wrong choice. Poor

decisions can only result in harsh consequences, and readers begin to worry for the safety

of Rochelle and her children, and there is tension and suspense and tension as to whether

the children will emerge safely from this situation. Thus, by presenting Rochelle as foolish,

the writer creates tension and suspense by hinting that her bad decisions will eventually

cause harm to her or her children.

Secondly, the situation Rochelle and her children are in is presented as dangerous, while the

use of visual imagery to present the situation in this manner also raises tension and

suspense. After Rochelle arrives at the supermarket, the tornado arrives in full force,

unleashing a whirlwind of devastation. The author describes how a “a hive of queasy, green

clouds hunkered over downtown”, and “a crooked finger of smoke wobbled to the ground”. A

collapsing telephone pole is likened to “an old man”. The visual imagery of “queasy”, “green”,

“crooked”, and the metaphor of “an old man”, conveys to readers that the natural

environment is sick and unwell, as if the tornado is a disease wreaking havoc on mother

nature. The situation is thus presented as dangerous, as Rochelle and her children are

caught in the midst of this horrific, unnatural sight that the tornado induces. Even indoors,

the illusion of safety is quickly shattered, as the supermarket suffers a blackout. This greatly

raises the tension and suspense in readers, as readers get the sense that nowhere is safe

for the characters, not even inside a building, which is supposed to be a firm and secure

structure. Thus, the presentation of the situation as dangerous, through the use of visual

imagery, raises the tension and suspense.

Finally, the situation that Rochelle and her children are in escalates from dangerous to lethal,

and tension and suspense over the safety of the characters is built up through a variety of

literary devices. In the second half of the extract, the point of view switches from Rochelle to

her children. Tina searches the house for Rochelle, looking in “the living room”, “the
© All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced without the permission of ACS (Independent).
Year 3 Language Arts / ACS (Independent) / 2022 Page 2
basement”, “inside the bathroom”, and “behind the shower curtain”. This section of the story

employs short, staccato-like sentences, with many punctuations, to mirror the rapid thumping

of one’s heart. The irony here is that while the readers know that a tornado is approaching,

the children do not have the slightest hint of this. The tension and suspense here is at its

peak; readers see that the children are alone and vulnerable, with no warning of the

imminent disaster. When the tornado hits the house, the writer likens it to a lion that “jumped

on the roof of the house and roared and clawed at the shingles and shattered the windows”.

The zoomorphism of likening the tornado to a lion illustrates the sheer violence of the

tornado; the kinesthetic imagery of “clawed” is a deadly method that a predator uses to

quickly kill its prey, while the auditory imagery of “roared” connotes an aggressive and

belligerent noise. The situation that Rochelle’s children are in has now escalated from

dangerous to lethal, as the tornado is likened to a ferocious beast about to devour the house

and its inhabitants. The children are not merely at risk of injury anymore; the threat of death

looms over them. The tension and suspense that the writer has gradually built up throughout

the story is now bordering on fear, as readers cannot help but feel emotions of dread and

uncertainty as to the fate of the children. In the final paragraph, Mrs Chandra inquires as to

the whereabouts of Rochelle’s children, before the story ends abruptly. The suspense that

readers feel is now not as to what will happen to the characters, but what has happened,

and the cliffhanger ending leaves readers with a lingering sense of suspense and a lack of

finality. Thus, the writer uses a variety of methods to escalate the situation of Rochelle’s

children from dangerous to potentially fatal, culminating in the suspense as to whether the

characters will survive reaching its peak.

In conclusion, the writer has effectively used tension and suspense to keep readers invested

in and hooked on the story. Although it is difficult to pinpoint a particular message that the

writer ultimately attempts to convey to readers with the use of tension and suspense, given

the short length of the extract, this essay believes that the overall theme is the importance of

family, and how one should never leave their side in dire situations.
© All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced without the permission of ACS (Independent).
Year 3 Language Arts / ACS (Independent) / 2022 Page 3
 Comments:
A: Understanding and interpretation

B: Appreciation of the Writer’s Choices

C: Organisation

D: Language

Total:

© All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced without the permission of ACS (Independent).
Year 3 Language Arts / ACS (Independent) / 2022 Page 4