Do you love me ?

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/39159864.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/M
Fandom: Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn, Bridgerton (TV)
Relationship: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton & Penelope
Featherington, Pene - Relationship
Character: Penelope Featherington, Colin Bridgerton, Marina Thompson, Anthony
Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Eloise Bridgerton, Portia
Featherington, Felicity Featherington, Prudence Featherington, Violet
Bridgerton
Additional Tags: Polin
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-10-26 Chapters: 5/8 Words: 10202

Do you love me ?
by Jaylove22

Summary

Penelope tells Colin how she feels about him after trying to warn him about Marina's true
intentions.Things become spicy yet complicated and Penelope wants to know if Colin
Bridgerton truly loves her...Colin leaves London in search of the answer

Notes

This is my first Polin fanfiction. Some events will be out of order from the book and or
show for this story line. I hope you enjoy. :)
 Chapter 1

"Her heart belongs to another, Colin I'm sorry but I have seen their love letters and I thought you
should know before it's too late.” Penelope stressed.

“You really are very good you know that, but trust me Pen, do not fret, I know my mind and
Marina's we understand each other.” Colin replied.

Penelope back away from him and put her head down. She groaned painfully. It hurt for the man
she loved to be so deeply in love with another.

"Penelope is there something else you wish to tell me. Why are you so against the union of Marina
and I? I must know at once."

"Because I love you Colin." Penelope blurted out. "I have since I was 5 and 10." Penelope
admitted.

"I- she started but her words were drowned by Colin who stalked over to her hastily and cupped her
face.

His deep green eyes gazing into Penelope's piercing blue orbs. Colin stared and he could not
understand where the sudden lustful thoughts came from.

His eyes casted down to her lips and the thought crossed his mind about how plump, thick and
succulent they were. Were they always so tantalizing? Did they always look so kissable?

Good God in heaven, he wanted to kiss Penelope Featherington.

Penelope Featherington.

Colin stole plenty of glances and he couldn't ignore the fact that she looked fetching, uncommonly.

Why hadn't he noticed before?

"Colin." Penelope whispered.

Colin still stood very still until the mere whisper of his name left her lips again. "Colin?"

Colin leaned down and he heard the slight gasp leave her full lips. He leaned in closer and used his
hand cupped to her face to tilt her face up. Their lips now only a centimeter from touching.

Their breathing bathed each other's lips before finally there lips connected and it was glorious.

Colin kissed her softly at first, trying to be gentle despite everything in him wanting to ravage her
like a mad man. He did however realize that this was her first kiss and it should be cherished. Not
that she asked him to kiss her anyway. This was pure need. Need that he didn't even know existed.

This kiss was unlike any kiss he have ever experienced. This kiss was in fact a kiss, a real kiss and
right now it meant everything to him.

He was in a daze, as was Penelope. Her one and only true love kissed her and very much still was.
Colin's hands began to roam from her face down to her body. He appreciated all her curves with his
hands. Reaching down to her derriere and grasping two handfuls pulling a subtle moan from
Penelope lips.
Colin stepped back drunkenly and
stared at her. That sound, that wonderful sinfully carnal sound that came from this newly
seductress lips. He wanted to hear it again and wouldn't mind hearing it forever.

Forever? He didn't know where that came from but it did not sound un appealing at all.

What he knew for sure was that he wanted to bury himself so deeply inside of her. He wanted his
name to fall from her lips in ecstasy as she writhed underneath him. He wanted to give her so much
pleasure and that would bring him his own.

He never knew that he would want Penelope Featherington so desperately.

"Pen, I want you so violently."

Penelope’s eyes widen. "Colin, you can have me." She replied gently. "I want you too." She added
and she knew that more than a kiss, is what she was about to experience.

Colin pulled her into his bedroom and Penelope stood nervously as he lit a candle.

He looked at Penelope's swollen kissed lips and he moaned before swooping back in to kiss her
again.

Penelope's heart raced as Colin's hands pressed into the fabric of her dress. She couldn't believe
this and every time, she tried to fathom it, she came up short.

But something was happening, something was stirring inside of her. Her body felt hot all over and
tingling began to course in her stomach. There was a flame that was starting and Colin Bridgerton’s
kisses was the fan. Perhaps in this situation, she was simply the moth, that couldn’t help but be
drawn in.

Colin drew her closer to him drawing her soft moan into his mouth and he reached for her bodice
and loosed the ties in the back. His tongue lightly traced her lips before darting his way inside and
dancing with hers. He lowered her to his bed carefully and his hand swiftly slid under her dress and
fisted her skirt as he pulled it down her legs until it was off. Penelope soon kicked off her shoes.

He kissed her once more and this time Penelope was sure she had gotten the hang of it. She kissed
Colin back with every ounce of passion she had inside of her.

Colin moved to the back of her gown and he fiddled with the buttons until Penelope felt the fabric
of her dress give way at the top and Penelope's full beautiful breast presented themselves.

Colin's breath hitched as he continued until the dress gave away all together. Penelope was
intimately bare before him and Colin was very very pleased.

"You are so beautiful Penelope." Colin declared.

"Thank you." She whispered.

She watched Colin's every move as he swooped down and brought her right nipple into his warm
wet mouth. "Colin." She moaned loudly arching her back, feeding him more of her breast.

Colin was in heaven. He was rock hard and didn't think he could get any harder but leave up to
Penelope to go above and beyond. He palmed her other breast with his hand before switching the
attention of his mouth to the other.
Penelope gripped his shoulders tightly in pleasure and she felt Colin push her back until her back
was against the bed.

Colin pepper kissed her neck, collar bone and traveled between the valley of her breast before
kissing down her fleshy stomach.

"God I want to taste you." He whispered biting his lip.

"What does that mean?" She asked urgently. What did he want to taste?

Colin smiled wickedly at her before his mouth reached her most intimate area. Penelope was
waiting in anticipation. She did not know that men did this. Did they feast on your private area and
if so, she didn't know why but she desperately wanted him to. It seemed right...fitting.

Colin rubbed her thighs and down to her knees covered with sheer stockings and he slowly took
those off too. He now rubbed her bare legs and looked at her heated skin that suddenly reminded
him of peaches and cream. Delicious.

Penelope looked delicious.

Colin spread Penelope legs and he fit right between them. He looked at her center that was
glistening and pouring out with her silky goodness.

"Penelope." He groaned in satisfaction and he reached out and rubbed his finger in her wetness.

"Colin!" She gasped in shock and this caused a light chuckle to escape Colin.

His finger danced across her clit and Penelope gasped once again and arched her back off the bed
in need.

Colin removed his saturated fingers and he moved them to his mouth. Tasting Penelope for the
very first time. Penelope watched as she blushed and her mouth gaped in disbelief.

"Mmmm." Colin appreciated before lowering his mouth closer to her core.

Penelope trembled when Colin placed a kiss on her clit. "Oh my god." She moaned.

Colin couldn't help but to do it again. Her puffy lips were begging to be feasted on.

He kissed her center as passionately as he did her mouth. Penelope's back remained arched and she
realized that she truly was wanton at heart because she wanted more, so much more.

Colin's tongue joined the session and he found himself licking her like she was vanilla ice cream.
Penelope's hand found its way to the back of Colin's head pulling him into her.

He slowly added a finger inside her core and he felt her body tense at the very foreign object. He
moved his finger at a come hither motion and continued licking and sucking until it felt good.

Colin could not ignore the way she felt around his finger. So wet and so tight. He had to tell him
self multiple times that she was a virgin and to not pounce on her and take her wickedly when he
finally moved to that portion of the session.

Right now everything was about her and her feeling good. He wanted her to orgasm. Soon Colin
was adding another finger and he enjoyed the wet gushing sound her honeypot produced.

"Colin." She breathed in-between her heavy panting breaths.

"Colin...oh my god. Something's happening I don't....ohhhh."

"Let go love. Let it happen." Colin encouraged as he flicked his tongue across her clit faster and his
two fingers moved at a velocious pace.

Penelope sat up on one of her hands while the other still clawed at his head. Her stomach was
tightening in knots. Her breathing was quick and heavy.

Suddenly pleasure filled her body from her brain down to her toes and swirled all around.

"Colin." Penelope squeaked as she came hard. The sound that Penelope made was the sweetest
sound that Colin has ever heard. His eyes were focused on her as her body shook beneath him and
his tongue never faltered producing jerks and twitches from Penelope.

After a while, her whines and withering signaled he needed to let her officially come down.

Colin came up licking his lips, his eyes never leaving Penelope's as he began to undress. When his
bare chest was revealed, Penelope bit her lip and that made Colin want to kiss her senseless again.

He pulled his breeches down along with his drawers and Penelope's eyes immediately shifted to
his penis. It was poking out and curiosity got the best of her. Penelope sat up and reached out
sliding her hand across it.

Colin moaned and swayed at her touch, so she continued, loving the reaction she received. Her grip
became harder and Colin reached out to stop her.

"Pen I can't take it. "

"It doesn’t feel good?" She questioned.

"No, love it does. I just don't want this to be over quickly. I'm just getting started."

Penelope nodded and Colin knew she still didn't quite understand.

He eased her back on the bed once again and crawled over top of her, leaning down to kiss her lips.
Penelope felt his member right at her center and she arched trying to get closer. Colin hissed at the
wet heat that rubbed across him.

"Penelope." Colin called out. He could not believe how sensual she was. She was so innocent yet
so seductive.

"This will hurt a little Pen, but I will go slow and be gentle...okay"

Penelope nodded embracing herself. "I want you." She told him. Colin lined himself at her
entrance and he rubbed up and down wetting himself in her juices before pushing in. Penelope
stilled beneath him and he waited a little before adding another inch.

"God Penelope." He moaned as he was engulfed in her heat. He pushed forward a little more and
he swore to God in heaven he felt dizzy.

When he reached the barrier of her for sure innocence he sighed. "This will hurt but I promise it
will eventually feel better." He breathed before pushing home being completely embedded inside
of her.

"Oh!" Penelope yelped digging her nails into his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" He quickly questioned.

"Just give me a minute." She responded breathing heavy. Colin nodded and began to lay kisses
over her lips and face before poking his lips out and urged her for a kiss which they both relished
in. After a while Penelope didn't know what came over her but she began to move her hips beneath
him and Colin was exceptionally glad because he didn't know how much longer he could wait.

Penelope wrapped her arms around his neck as Colin starting moving in and out of her slowly. He
kept up the same pace and rhythm and he watched as she bit her lip and he did the same.

"You feel so good." Colin told her in a moan.

"You do too." She responded firmly.

"So are you feeling better?" He questioned.

"Yes splendid." Penelope answered.

"Good." Colin replied as he picked up the pace. His hand gripped her waist as he pull her into him
and down on his penis. Loving the sound of their skins slapping together and echoing off the walls.

Penelope was in absolute pleasure, this felt so good...too good. She wanted more of him, more of
this.

"Colin I want more." She moaned.

Colin looked down at her strangely at first. Most women during their first time didn't ask for
harder or faster thrust.

"Please." She whimpered.

Colin obliged her and moved faster and harder. "Yes Colin." Penelope moaned loudly.

Colin was running out of time, he could feel his orgasm coming. They were soon about to reach
the point of no return, so he knew he needed to hastily get her there.

Colin grabbed her leg, raised it and plunged deeper and it took Penelope's breath away.

"What was that?" She asked quickly in pleasure.

"Hmmm?" Colin asked.

"You touched something glorious inside." She commented. She wanted that again, it almost made
her delirious.

Colin smirked knowing it was her spot that he thrust against, so he did it again and again and
again.

Penelope choked on her own moans and she clawed at Colin's side. "Colin...Colin...Colin." she
chanted and it was music to Colin's ears.

Penelope's leg rested on his shoulder as his hand laid fat against her stomach and occasionally
caressed her breast as he thrusts into her.

Her lips were parted and hushed moans were continuously falling out. Colin didn't know where to
keep his eyes, her beautiful face, her full breast bouncing rhythmically at his thrust, or between her
legs were they were connected.

"You can touch your self too." He encouraged as he reached down and grabbed her hands, placing
them on her breast, he watched as she palmed and played with her nipples.

Colin strokes became sloppy for a moment watching the redhead beneath him. Her playing with
her own breast teased him and he enjoyed the show.

Penelope felt that same familiar tingle except she knew this one would be bigger.

"Colin it's happening. I’m--Colin I'm about to." She didn't know exact what it was she did the first
time but she knew it was exhilarating.

Penelope reached out and grabbed his hand that was pressed against her stomach. Her other hand
pushed against his stomach, the pleasure was becoming overwhelming.

She didn't know if she was trying to get closer or get away from him.

Colin removed her hand from his stomach and he pushed it above her head intertwining their
fingers. Penelope closed her eyes from pleasure.

"Look at me baby. Please look at me Pen." Penelope eyes immediately fluttered open and she
stared into his perfect green eyes and Colin's last hard thrust broke free her orgasm.

"Colinnnnn." Penelope screeched as her walls collapsed around his penis. Her sweaty body
convulsed. Feeling and looking at Penelope's orgasm caused Colin to orgasm.

"Penelope." He called out as he emptied himself inside of her.

He was breathing heavy as he stared down at her for a while before pulling out and rolling to the
side.
“That was amazing.” She smiled.
Colin smiled hard and nodded her head as he pulled her body flush into him and stroked her body
lovingly. He thought about Penelope and how caring, beautiful, smart and witty she was. He wasn't
for sure if he loved her but he knew that he liked her. Maybe he did love her.

He loved being around her and talking to her. She was so consistent in his life.

But what he knew for sure was after tonight, he could never let her go. She was his. He hoped she
knew from this act, now that their sweaty spent bodies were close together, he hoped she knew that
she belonged to him.

Colin played in her sweated out hair before snuggling into her neck. "Thank you Penelope." He
mumbled before closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.
 Chapter 2

Colin rolled over and reached for Penelope wanting desperately to do it again.

Feeling the empty spot on the bedside he cursed. "Bloody hell Penelope."

Penelope wanted to say that she left because she didn't want her mother to think she was hurt or
kidnapped. She wanted to say she left, so the house maids and butlers wouldn't catch them with the
rising of the sun. God, she even wanted to say that she got up after Colin fell asleep and quickly put
her clothes on then fled because she was saving them from a horrid scandal.

Truthfully, the only reason was simple. Penelope Featherington was avoiding, rejection and a
broken heart.

Colin, not once in the throws of passion pronounced his love for her. No matter how glorious the
carnal act was, she simply couldn't let her heart believe that it was love. There was no love,
therefore no love was made.

Or maybe, Penelope made love to him because she loved him. She loved him with everything she
had. If this was her only time, that she would ever give herself to a man before she was whisked
away into a life of spinsterhood, she was glad she put her all into loving Colin.

She would never forget his touches, the grips, and caresses. Those wonderful sounds of desire he
bathed into her ear with his heavy breath. The call of her name and the sinful dark eyes that held
her captive.

She did not regret what happened under the candle light in Colin's bed chambers.

It was the situation now with Marina that she regretted to the upmost. He was betrothed to her
cousin and Colin didn't show any restraint as a noble man, he did not have any reserve to stop what
they were doing.

Penelope supposed that is what she liked the most. The passion Colin Bridgerton displayed was
enough to fuel her fantasies forever.

" Her love was just unrequited fantasies." Mirana's voice echoed in her head.

Penelope went home and she tried to rest but her brain and heart wanted the opposite, both raced all
night long about the events that took place.

The hand maids knocked on the door ready to assist Penelope with her bath the next morning.

Penelope answered and she cleared her throat. "Can you draw the hot water for me, but I can
handle my own bath this morning." She told them.

"But- " one of the women started.

"I would like to do my own bath, surely you can understand. " She replied sweetly and the two
women nodded.

After changing into her night gown last night she saw all the marks Colin left behind on her peach
white skin. She didn't even remember these happening but so much happened last evening, most
she would never forget.
Penelope undressed and she got into the hot water to soak. If she was honest, the bath was relaxing.
Her body was a little sore and she had an ache between her legs.

After her bath, she donned her light yellow day dress and allowed the maid in to put her hair in a
half up half down style.

Penelope walked down for breakfast and she sat in her usual seat.

"Morning mama." Penelope greeted when she walked into the room.

"Good morning Penelope." She replied taking a seat.

Marina and her sisters walked into the room and Penelope's eyes immediately casted away from
them.

It was rather silent at breakfast, except for Portia and Marina making quick wedding plans.

"Colin wants a grand wedding. He is a Bridgerton after all. I am trying to sway him for quicker
nuptials." She chuckled.

"Remember what I told you. You need to seduce him hastily. In order to keep this secret." Portia
nodded.

Penelope's stomach churned. The thought of Colin doing what they did with another woman made
her sick almost.

"Penelope are you well? You look ill." Felicity pointed out.

"I'm splendid." She chirped quickly.

She caught Marina's eye as she looked at her strangely.

She quickly ate her breakfast. "If I may be excused I'm off to the drawing room to read a good
book."

"If you put more time into courting and aligning yourself to be a wife. You would be planning
nuptials like Marina here."

"Excuse me mother but I also do not believe in deceiving a suitor for marriage either. I believe in
marrying for love." Penelope found her self saying. She didn't know where the sudden urge of
confidence came from but she loved it.

In the drawing room Penelope sat in the window reading, more so thinking. She didn't know where
her and Colin stood. She confessed her love to a betrothed man. But the betrothed man kissed her
and they were a beautiful mess of tangled limbs.

After Colin discovered Penelope was gone, he realized it was probably best this way. He didn't
want her to be ruined In the eyes of the Ton nor did he want a scandal. But, still he wanted to talk
about them and what they did.

He liked her and now he wanted to be with her because he wanted to explore more of their
relationship. Penelope was a good friend but he now could see her as a wife.

He hated that last night was the moment he realized it. It was the moment that he didn't see her as
his sister's best friend. He saw her as a woman and indeed she was. She was a blessed, full and
curvy woman.
Colin was extremely quiet during breakfast as he listened to the banter between his siblings.

Colin finished breakfast and he stood.

"Where are you off too?" Victoria asked.

"I'm-

"He's going to see Marina." Hyacinth teased and that made Colin winced. He hasn't thought about
Marina since the conversation with Penelope last night.

"Actually I was going to talk to Penelope." Colin replied.

"Well do give them our regard. How about invite them both over for tea later." Victoria said and
Colin nodded.

If they were invited, he surely wasn't going to be in the room or any where near. The woman he
loved and was marrying and the woman he made love with, together in the same did not seem
right.

God how was Penelope managing now. This had to be terrible for her.

Colin walked over to the Featherington's home and he knocked on the door.

"Ah good day Mr. Bridgerton, here to see miss Marina I suppose." The butler greeted.

"Good day and I would love to speak to Miss Penelope Featherington." Colin replied clearing his
throat.

"Alrighty then, miss Featherington is in the drawing room. I shall lead you up."

"Ms. Penelope Featherington. Mr. Colin Bridgerton is here to see you." Briarly informed.

Everyone turned to Penelope who looked just as shocked. Penelope inwardly groaned, why would
he come and ask to specifically speak to her when his bride was sitting right in the same room.

"Hello everyone...Ms. Thompson." Colin greeted trying to play it cool.

"Mr. Bridgerton may I certainly ask why the surprise but lovely visit." Penelope gritted and he
could tell she was trying to keep her face from turning embarrassing red.

Colin stared at her thinking. Her fiery red locks casting down her back. Her sitting in the window
and the sun was shinning on her. God, Penelope was an angel.

"Oh right. Eloise asked if I could be a fine gentleman and even special brother by escorting you to
tea. She has something important she wanted to discuss with you."

Penelope knew the lie. She knew well enough that the something important was exactly what they
needed to discuss. "Is it alright if I go mama."

"Certainly, I would hate for Mr. Bridgerton to feel as though he wasted a walked."

"A view of Marina certainly paid the price of the walk." Colin threw out.

Penelope looked at Colin and Colin stared down at her and he knew that comment hurt her
feelings but he was only trying to not look suspicious.
Penelope closed her book and she got up walking with Colin out of the door.

"Pen- Colin started and Penelope quickly shook her head pointing to the door signifying that he
needed to wait until they were out of the door.

Once they were outside Penelope took a deep breath. " I take it there is no tea time, is it not?"

"Not until this afternoon." Colin commented and Penelope nodded.

"Penelope last night."

"Was an unfortunate mistake." She finished for him.

"Pen is that what you think of it?" Colin asked hurt.

"Considering we both were just in the drawing room with your bride. I would like to think that's
what you thought." Penelope whispered.

"Well I'll have you know that is not what I thought.”

"Mr. Bridgerton." Penelope gasped. "If you think we are going to start to make a stitch then you…

"Of course not. I'm an honorable man...well ad least I thought I was. I'm going to marry you." He
clarified.

"Just because we committed the carnal act with each other doesn’t mean you have to render a
proposal. We can put it behind us."

"I'm not rendering a proposal because I have to, I rendering one because I want to." Colin
whispered argued.

All Penelope could do was chuckle.

"What could possibly be humorous Pen?"

"Because you are already betrothed. You announced to the entire Ton that you were taking Marina
Thompson as your bride."

"But that was before...

"Before what? You don't want to marry me Colin and I'm fine with that. Don't make yourself feel
guilty and pity me."

"How do you possibly know what I want Penelope. You can't read my mind."

"I know what you want because you were vocal about it only months ago. You told your brothers
that you will never marry me. You practically shouted it to the roof tops. I've been here pining
after you for years. I was in love with you for years and you never noticed me that way, you saw
me as I am and you only regarded me as just Eloise's friend. You will never see yourself with me.
My love for you is nothing but a childish fantasy. You see Marina as a woman and as a wife. You
don't see me." Penelope argued and tears were welding in her eyes.

Colin stared at her and he could see the hurt written all over her.

"Penelope I'm sorry. I didn't see you before but I see you now. You are beautiful, smart and witty
and everything a wife should be. My wife should be. Do you think I would have done those things
to you if I didn't see you as a woman or if I didn't want to. Penelope Featherington, I can't get you
out of my mind. I can't forget about your lips and your body and how you drove me insane with
desire. Your taste, it was the most sweetest taste, I declare you taste like peaches. One very night
and you have turned my world upside down. I don't want you just for those private moments. I
want you for every thing."

"Colin it's too late. If you are the honorable and noble man that you strive to be. You would not go
back on your word with marriage to Miss Thompson. It would ruin her chance with other suitors."
Penelope stressed.

"Ughh Dammit to hell I don't want Ms. Thompson. I just want you and all of you." Colin snapped
and reached for her. Penelope felt chills flow down her spine from his grasped and she moved from
him and shook her head.

"Good day Mr. Bridgerton."

"Wait can you ad least walk with me. It would look crazy to come back after I said you were due
for tea. "

Penelope nodded as she continued walking with him to Number 5.

 Chapter 3

Weeks passed and all Colin could do was think about Penelope. He dreamed and even day
dreamed about her.

He didn't know what to do because he didn't want Marina to be ruined in the Ton because he called
off the wedding but he did not want to marry her any longer.

He realized that it was only simple infatuation with Ms. Thompson and nothing more. He knew
very well that if he was to marry her he would be unsatisfied.

He had a thirst for Penelope that would not be quenched. He hated that he spent all this time away
from her because all he wanted to do was be around her. He wanted to hear her laugh or her witty
comments. He missed dancing with her for those shorts moments.

After their conversation, his heart was slightly broken when she turned down his proposal but he
understood. He understood they were trying to avoid a scandal and Penelope was simply protecting
her heart from him.

He realized that he'd broken her heart and ad least stepped on it multiple times. Still he had done it
unconsciously and only hoped she truly could forgive him.

The God honest truth was, he wished he could go back in time and notice her before. He wished he
would have noticed how perfect she was.

Penelope deserved the world and Colin wanted to be her world or ad least be in her world. But,
sadly he was neither.

He thought of still calling off the wedding and running off with Penelope to France or maybe Italy.

Penelope walked around her house on egg shells. Mirana knew that she loved Colin but she didn't
want her to put together what she did with Colin and what she wished she could do again with
Colin.

She would be a liar to say she didn't think about it and how glorious it was. Colin gave her a little
piece of heaven that night.

Penelope listened to her mother talk to Mirana again about her plans with Colin and Penelope
shook her head. This was wrong, what they were doing to him was wrong. It was all wrong and as
his friend she could not allow it.

Penelope decided that she couldn't let this go on any further. Even though she was not going to
marry Colin, she knew that he should not marry Mirana either. She couldn't just stand by and watch
him be deceived and tricked into a marriage. He needed to know that she was lying to him. So she
did the only thing she knew to do.

Penelope picked up her quill and she began to write her newest issue of her column.

"...As if The Featheringtons did not have enough to be dealing with, Ms. Mirana Thompson is with
child and she has been from the very first day she arrived in our fair city."

Colin was honestly elated when he got the news that Marina was pregnant and he could call off the
wedding. When his mother gave him the article he quickly walked to his room with smile on his
face. He was free to do as he pleased and now all he had to do was to convince Penelope to marry
him.

A few days passed and Colin stood with a drink off to the side of the ball.

He was talking to his brothers when Penelope caught his eye and he gasped. He missed seeing her
face so much. She was a sight for sore eyes and extremely beautiful.

Penelope caught Colin's eye and her heart immediately raced. She didn't think that she would ever
not love him.

They stared for a while before she decided to look away.

Colin took this as the opportunity to walk over to her and he smiled looking her up and down. "Ms.
Featherington." Colin greeted.

"Good evening Mr. Bridgerton." Penelope replied before biting her lip. Colin's eyes instantly drew
there and he stared for a while before licking his own.

"Colin." Penelope gasped her cheeks tinting in a light red.

"I'm sorry, would you do me the honor in allowing me to escort you to a dance. " Colin asked
hopeful.

"That sounds lovely." Penelope forced a smile. She honestly didn't trust her self to be that close to
him.

Colin lead her to the floor and they began to dance as the music started.

"I have missed you." Colin admitted.

"As did I." Penelope replied truthfully.

"When this dance is over may we talk."

"Sure." She agreed and when the dance came to a close Penelope followed Colin outside into the
gardens.

"I'm sorry about everything with Marina." Penelope voiced.

"that was what you were trying to warn me about is it not?"

"Initially yes."

"I was a fool." He replied.

"You were not a fool you were in love." Penelope replied.

"I've come to new recollection that I was not in love with Marina. Just a mere infatuation."

Penelope nodded slowly.

"Pen are you going to marry me now?" Colin asked.

"Colin things just ended with you and my cousin. What about the Ton and what people will think.
They will think it is a scandal and you and me had relations with each other all along."

"I don't care what anyone thinks Penelope. I know what I want and it's you. It will always be you,
surely as the sun will rise and then set." Colin proclaimed as he stepped closer and pulled her body
into him. Penelope gasped and she looked up at him with her piercing blue eyes.

Colin couldn't help himself. He swooped down and kissed her lips. Penelope sighed contently, she
yearned for this man and she couldn't help the feelings she had for him.

Her hands hung around his neck before she pulled at his hair kissing him just as passionate.

They kissed for a while and not before long their tongues were mingling with each other.

Colin's hands roamed her body and snaked down to her bottom as he caressed and palmed. This
made Penelope think of the night they shared together and she gasped pushing him back.

She paused trying to catch her breath and wiped the corners of her mouth.

"Colin, I won't marry you." Penelope told him firmly and she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Why Penelope. Why?" He asked urgently, hurt laced in his voice.

You're impulsive Colin. Stop jumping on to things with out figuring it through. You was just for
sure weeks ago that Mirana was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. You loved
her or you "thought." You told me that you know her and that you both understand each other and
now suddenly in the middle of that. Only after I confess my love for, you wish to marry me.
Suddenly you understand me. It's preposterous and down right insulting if you ask me."

"I'm not impulsive. I want to marry you. I know that for sure."

"Do you love me?" Penelope asked quickly.

Colin's eyes widen staring. "Pen-

"No, Colin Bridgerton do you love me? You were so sure that you loved Ms. Thompson and
realized it was infatuation...am I just an infatuation?" Penelope asked and she honestly thought for
sure that she already knew the answer and the cold silence was speaking louder than his words
could ever.

Part of her wanted to run and jump into his arms because for the love of God it was Colin
Bridgerton, her Colin Bridgerton and she was truly flattered that he desired her. It made her feel
good inside and out but how much better would it be if he loved and desired her.

Penelope couldn't help but to let a few tears fall. She could tell that he was silent because he
needed to think and you shouldn't have to think about if you loved someone.

"Colin you don't marry someone you can live with. You marry someone you can't live without."
Penelope whispered. "So I have to turn down your proposal once more. I want to marry for love.
Good Night." Penelope sniffled.

"Good night Penelope." Colin uttered, he figured it was best to let her go. She was right. He didn't
know if he loved her or not and the crazy thing about it was. He wanted to, he wanted to love her.
He loved so many things about her but was that the same as loving her?

The next afternoon Colin found himself in the study with his brothers.
"You don't look as down as I thought you would be still...in fact. You have not looked somber
about Marina once." Benedict commented.

"I'm relieved actually. I didn't want to go back on my word because if I went back on marrying her
nobody would want to marry her because they'd think something was wrong." Colin admitted.

"Why did you not want to marry Ms. Thompson?" Anthony asked.

"I realized after being engaged that I love, well I think I love someone else and I Issued a proposal
to her as well."

"Colin." Both Anthony and Benedict gasped.

"And what happened with this other woman?"

"She turned down my proposal. More than three times." Colin sighed.

Anthony then chuckled.

"May I asked what did you find humorous?" Colin asked quickly.

"Of course she turned you down while you were betrothed to another. Do you love her?"

"I really don't know if I love her."

"You can't ask someone to marry you unless you are for sure." Benedict responded.

"But Anthony didn't want love he wanted a good wife for his kids and such."

"But I realized that was stupid. I love Kate so much that I wish to die before she does so I don't
have live a day without her." Anthony replied.

"How do you know that you truly love someone and it's not infatuation. I love her smarts, her
laughter, and her voice is melodic. Her beautiful eyes. She's soulful and caring. Her body, God her
body. Her lips....I could go on and on." Colin voiced ultimately getting distracted.

"Well who is this woman you speak of." Benedict asked.

"You will know in due time."

"Colin my advice is to take some time and learn yourself. Once you discover who you are you will
know."

Colin nodded his head. He figured that was right. He did need to find himself and hopefully that
would lead him to Penelope.

"You're right I shall leave for France in a fortnight."

 Chapter 4
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Colin was set and quickly set sail for France. He hoped this trip or trips gave him the clarity that he
needed.

Penelope was at home in the drawing room when Briarly announced that Eloise was visiting.

She smiled when Eloise came through the door. "I thought I was meeting you for tea." Penelope
said confused.

"Colin's gone." Eloise rushed out.

"What!? Gone where?" Penelope asked quickly.

"France, it was random. He said he needed to get out of London. My guess is because of the
Marina ordeal."

Penelope was hurt at the news. She knew it had nothing to do with Marina but in fact everything to
do with her.

It hurt that the man who claimed he wanted to marry her and the one she was truly in love with
could leave with not so much as a goodbye.

This let her know that he truly did not care for her how she did him.

Penelope blinked back her tears and put her head down to try and recollect herself.

"Colin left you a letter. Out of the whole family you were the only one he wrote." Eloise stated.

Penelope's eyes widen and she could hear the suspicion laced in her voice.

"Really?" Penelope questioned.

"Yes." She replied pulling a letter out of her coat pocket.

Penelope grabbed the letter and her hand was itching to read the contents inside.

"When did you and Colin become so close?" Eloise questioned.

"I beg your pardon...What ever do you mean?"

"He came to see you last week instead of Marina and now he has written you a fair well letter. "

Penelope couldn't hide the red tints of her cheeks if she wanted too.

"We are friends is all. Same as I am with you. I have no other explanation." Penelope responded.

Soon Penelope changed the subject and listened to Eloise go on and on about the rights of women,
but her mind was else where. Focused on Colin. Always focused on Colin.

He left her something to say goodbye above anybody else and that made her heart soar.
After Eloise parted, Penelope quickly walked to her room and shut the door, hastily opening the
letter.

My dearest, Penelope

Because you have gotten this letter, I am sure Eloise has already broken the news of my sudden
travels. I am going to Paris, France. The city of Love seemed fitting enough to discover if one truly
loves someone. I have left to do a lot of soul searching to truly figure out who I am. I wanted to
give you a proper good bye but soon after, I realized that looking into your beautiful face, I would
never want to leave. I owe this to not only you, but to me to figure out who am and hopefully grow
into the man that you shall want to marry. Take care of yourself Pen.

Yours truly, Colin.

Ps. Tell me something Pen, what is your favorite color?

Penelope smiled before she grabbed a piece of paper and her quill.

Dear Colin,

Thank you for the goodbye, it means everything to me that you thought enough to consider me.
Your words do flatter me Mr. Colin Bridgerton. However you mustn't do soul searching for me.
You do that for you and you only. Colin if you must know it is not your attributes as a man that
makes me not want to marry you. I assure you that you would be a fine husband. You are a fine
man; it's the love that concerns me. Do your best to find out who you are and worry about love
later. The city of love sounds amazing. I do trust that you will share all of Paris' attributes and
attractions.

Colin Bridgerton you are a man of wonder. What on earth would my favorite color have anything
to do with your travels but still if you must know it's green.

Take care of yourself too Col

Yours truly Penelope.

Penelope reread her letter and then his a dozen times over smiling idiotically.

It took a while before Colin arrived at the docks of France. He got off and he looked around at the
city.

He thought of Penelope the whole ride over. He didn't know how long he was staying in Paris but
he certainly hoped that what ever he was looking for, he would find.

Penelope and Colin wrote each other back for a month. It took two weeks for them to receive a
letter. She loved when her letter came from Colin. He described Paris in the most beautiful way.
She could really picture everything down to the stone streets and side walks. Colin was a fantastic
writer and she praised him for it multiple times in the letter she sent in return.

They were embarking upon a new month and Penelope sat in her room at her desk writing in the
candle light

She flipped the letters over at the knock on her door.

" come in" Penelope called out and she watched as the door opened revealing her mother.

"Good evening mama." She greeted wondering why the night time visit was necessary.

"Penelope your courses." Her mother stated with questioning eyes.

"My courses?" Penelope repeated confused.

"Oh God my courses!" She gasped in realization that it didn't come. She looked into her mother's
eyes as her face turned beet red in embarrassment.

"Tell me who did this to you at once." Portia fumed.

"What ever do you mean?" Penelope tried to play if off to buy herself some more time.

"Don't play coy Penelope."

"Mother I can assure you that it's just late and maybe skipping, I don't know."

"This family can't afford another scandal." She replied still looking at Penelope inquisitively.

Penelope stared her mother down before her mother walked out of the room not before saying.
"You have until the end of the week."
She knew that when your courses did not come it meant that you were expecting. She never really
knew exactly how babies came about but she knew that it had to be because of what her and Colin
did together.

Penelope's mind raced and she couldn't bring herself to finish the letter she was writing. She
decided to just lay down and shut her brain off to find some sleep.

The end of the week came and still nothing. She always hated when her courses came but now it
was like praying for a miracle.

"Penelope it's time to talk." Her mother sternly said walking into the office.

Penelope followed her and she listened as her mother went on and on about being ruined. She
asked her several time about the man who was responsible for this but Penelope kept her mouth
closed and it wasn't because it was such a big secret. She just wanted to tell him first before his
family and everyone else knew. Also a part of her felt like it wasn't news to tell yet. Plenty of
people missed their time of the month and then it showed back up. Also it just didn't seem like her
and Colin were making a baby.

Her mother told her at the very age of 16 what it meant to lay with your husband. You lie still and
let him have his pleasure and bare him a child. But being with Colin was so different than what her
mother described. It wasn’t still, it was a lot of moving, as mess of tangled limbs and it wasn't just
for his pleasure. His pleasure brought her pleasure and it looked as if her pleasure brought his. It
was just a big boomerang of pleasure that took her breath away but was this the part where she was
suppose to bare him a child.

This part really frightened her, was she carrying Colin's child? She was so worried about the Ton,
Marina, and her mother that she didn't ever consider this. She placed her self in the very
predicament that Marina was in.

Would Colin be upset with her because she was carrying his child and now they really had to go
through on a marriage and he hasn't discovered if he loved her yet. He liked Yes, but love?
 She needed him to come home quickly because he was the only person that she could talk to this
about.

Her mother discussed with her options and ideas to cover this up and Penelope didn't really have a
choice in the matter.

She sent Penelope to her room and told her that's where she would stay until one of her plans were
in the works.

While in her room it gave Penelope more time to think and she picked up her quill and began to
write Colin once more.

Dear Colin,

I hope that you are doing well and that Paris is still as lovely as you described it before. I really
hate to give you this request, especially since you are enjoying your time there but It's urgent that
you return home to London at once. For my wellbeing, virtue and reputation is at stake. One of the
maids discovered that my courses has not shown up and reported it back to my ma-ma. All the
while I'm still really trying to wrap my brain around everything and what exactly everything means.
I wish there were books and things that women could read to be more informed. Nevertheless, my
mother is having conversations about sending me away to a distance "relative." Or arranging a
quick marriage with another man. I'm nervous, frightened a little, and a bit overwhelmed but what I
am the most is needy. I need you Colin.

Sincerely Penelope.

Chapter End Notes

Sorry for being so behind in writing. I am in summer school, about to go into my

senior year of college, so as you can imagine I am engrossed in school work. I hope
you all enjoy this update. I also enjoyed reading you alls comments. You all were spot
on the nose in the direction I was heading with Polin...stay tuned !
 Chapter 5

Two weeks passed and a smiled reached Colin's face when the mail deliverer came up with letters
in his hand.

Colin took the letter and went right to Penelope's beautiful hand writing. He tore the letter open
and immediately began to read.

Colin gasped at her words and he read them several times. "Oh my god what have I done." He
asked himself as he ran his hand across his hair.

"We need to pack up. I have to get back home immediately." Colin announced to the crew
members.

In two days Colin was home in London. He hired a hack to drive him into town from the docks.

It was late in the evening and he just needed to get over to the Featherington's residence.
Thoroughly glad it was night time. That way his family wouldn't know of his arrival just yet.

Colin set his bags on the porch of house number 5 before walking around the block.

Penelope was sitting in the window. She hasn't left her room in so long. Sitting close by the
window made her feel like she was outside and not stuck inside.

Her eyes squinted as she focused in on the man walking down the street. It looked like Colin. Was
that him? Was he finally back to see about her?

The closer he got, the more she could tell it was him for sure. She needed to stop him before he
walked to the front door.

Penelope quickly opened the window and called out quietly. "Colin."

Colin looked around, he was certain someone called his name. "Colin." She said once more.

Backing up to the side of the house, he saw Penelope sitting in her window.

"Penelope." Colin smiled glad to finally lay eyes on her.

"Don't go to the front door. Briarly knows that I can't have visitors and it would look strange for
you to be a night time caller. I will come down through here." She said looking at the tree.

"Oh you most certainly will not. That's too dangerous Penelope. You have to be extra careful now."
Colin chastised.

"Oh right. Give me five minutes and I will meet you across the street in the gazebo" She
whispered.

Penelope closed her window and she quickly put on her shoes and her dark black coat with a hood.
It was easy for her to get out of the house undetected. She had achieved it many times before while
being lady Whistledown.

Penelope made her way out of the house and across the street and saw Colin sitting down inside.
He stood when she appeared.
"I've missed you." Colin declared.

"I missed you too." Penelope replied and she sighed when he pulled her into a hug before ushering
her to sit.

"Penelope first I just wanted to say I am so sorry."

"Sorry?" She questioned.

"I know what you are thinking and I'm not sorry because I don't want to have children with you.
I'm sorry because this is my fault. I didn't consider this and I should have protected you."

Penelope didn't understand what he meant. "Colin don't apologize I was there that night too and if I
would have known that it equals this." She stated pointing to her stomach. "I would have tried to
prevent it." She voiced and it was then Colin knew that she really didn't understand how children
were made.

"Penelope I don't want to seem like you don't really have a choice in the matter because your voice
and feelings matter but you can not go away and you will not marry anybody else. You have to
marry me. It's my baby and my responsibility and I will make sure that both of you are taking care
of."

Penelope looked into his eyes and nodded. "Okay." She agreed. "I will marry you." Penelope
added.

"Okay." Colin gave her a small smile. "First thing tomorrow morning I will come and get
everything straightened out."

"Okay." Penelope nodded, she was honestly sad. She didn't want to be married because it was the
right thing to do.

"Other than that how are you feeling?" He asked.

"I am feeling okay. I've been a bit nauseous but other than that. I think it's the overwhelmed
feelings that makes me feel off. Plus my mother won't let me leave my bedroom chambers until
one of the plans are in the works and a go." She answered. "How about you?"

"I'm feeling alright, a bit tired from traveling but I knew that I had to come see you and I still
haven't wrapped my brain around being a father."

"Tell me about it. Me...Penelope Featherington....a mother." She replied sitting back.

Colin grabbed her hand for reassurance. " I believe that we can do it and we will be the best
parents."

The next morning after breakfast and getting reconnected with his family, who was glad that he
was home, Colin found himself in his brother's study.

"So what brought you back to London so quickly?” Benedict asked and Anthony nodded.

"I have an important situation that I needed to discuss with you all...remember the woman I was
telling you all about."

"The one who you weren’t for sure that you loved...did you figure it out?" Anthony asked.

"Not quite...she is pregnant and I am the father." Colin admitted.

"Colin." Both Benedict and Anthony gasped at the same time.

"Yeah I know. I am going to marry her because it's the proper thing to do and I wanted to marry her
before we even knew about the baby."

"Please tell me this woman's name." Anthony gritted.

"Penelope Featherington."

"Colin out of every woman's virginity and reputation you could have jeopardized...you picked
Penelope Featherington. She's like a sister to us and Eloise's best friend."

"She's not like a sister to me. I mean I looked at her that way once but when it shifted...it shifted
and I realized she's much more than that. She's a woman, she's beautiful, kind, so smart and witty. I
really like her. I proposed to her more than once already and I need to go over to the
Featherington's and asked for her mother's blessings and of course we have to plan a quick
wedding. I just wanted you to be informed." Colin voiced.

"Congratulations on both the wedding and the baby." Benedict smiled.

Colin left number five and walked to Penelope's house. He knocked on the door 3 times and
waited.

"Ahh good afternoon Mr. Bridgerton."

"Good afternoon. I came here to talk to Lady Featherington. Could you tell her that it is urgent?"

"Most certainly, I will go talk to her to see if she is accepting visitors, come in."

Colin stepped inside and watched as Briarly walked off.

"Okay Mr. Bridgerton follow me to the drawing room."

Colin walked up the stairs and entered into the drawing room.

"Would you like me to prepare tea and cakes?"

"Yes please.” Portia replied.

"The third Mr. Bridgerton, how good to see you. Have you enjoyed your time in Paris?"

"Yes ma'am." He answered looking around.

"What brings you by?" She questioned.

"I was actually hoping to talk to you and Penelope."

"Oh I'm sorry. Penelope is not accepting visitors." Portia replied her lips held firm together.

"I want to marry Penelope." Colin informed.

"Excuse me?" She questioned.

"I want to take Penelope's hand in marriage and I have for sometime." He responded.

Portia was trying to think. Colin was slow to marry Marina when they were trying to cover up a
pregnancy and the news still got out. She didn't know if she could risk this public embarrassment
with Penelope.

"Um Penelope can not take any suitors."

"I know that Penelope is with child." Colin added and Portia gasped.

"It's my child and I want to do the right thing by her and my baby. They are my responsibility and I
want to take care of the both of them. I can and will provide for Penelope and our baby and she will
have a happy life with me, now can you please call her out of her bedroom chambers so we can all
discuss the matter. My family was already informed this morning."

"Penelope." Portia called out loudly.

Penelope was sitting on her bed reading when her mother shouted her name.

"Coming." She informed loudly opening her door. She knew that Colin had to have arrived and
told her mother everything.

Penelope fixed her hair in a half up half down style quickly after putting on an orange day dress.
She slid her feet into her slip on shoes and she was out the door.

When Penelope entered the room she saw Colin leaning by the window with his arms cross and
she could feel that it was tension there. Her cheeks immediately tinted because it was no secret to
her mother what Colin and her had done.

"Good Afternoon Penelope you look beautiful as always." Colin complimented with a bright smile
looking her up and down.

"Thank you Colin." She whispered back.

Portia looked between the two still quite confused as to how this pair came about. Penelope was so
quiet and stayed in the shadows. She thought she never really had to worry about Penelope. She
was positive that Penelope was going to live a life of spinsterhood and they would live together but
some how Penelope caught the eye of a Bridgerton and he fancied her. He fancied her enough that
he de-flowered her.

What were the odds that the wall-flower would be de-flowered. It was enough to make Portia
chuckle.

"You both do realize that me and Lady Bridgerton will have to put together a quick wedding to
hide you all's little scandal growing."

"I am fully aware, but please do not refer to our child as a scandal. I trust that this is the last time
those words or anything in the sort will leave your lips especially in reference to our child and our
marriage." Colin corrected.

Portia nodded and Penelope cut her eyes to Colin with a slight smile. It felt good to have him stand
up for their child and marriage.

"Could you send word to your mother about an evening tea or dinner, so we can handle and iron
out everything for you all’s wedding." Portia requested.

"Yes I think dinner is a lovely idea that way Penelope will be in attendance and she could choose
the things that she would like."
"No Colin that is not necessary."

"But It is necessary. This is our wedding. Your wedding and even if it is quick. You should have
everything that you desire because it's ours. You only get married once and you deserve the
wedding of your dreams. I will help pick things out as well."

"Okay." Penelope relented and she bit her lip to hide her smile. Colin's eyes drew there and he
stared for a while. Why must everything this woman do be pure innocently seducing.

"I will see you both for dinner tonight. I have to go handle somethings but I look forward to seeing
you tonight."

"Good day." Colin added.

"Good day." Penelope bided him fair well.

"Oh and Penelope do take a walk around in the square. Some sun would be good for you." He
winked at her. Penelope giggled at his jab to her mother who was keeping her locked away.

Penelope did take a maid out and went for a nice walk in the square. She enjoyed the fresh air and
sunshine and it gave her a chance to gather her thoughts which always seemed jumbled lately.

When she arrived back home Penelope was set for the drawing room so she could finish her book.
She walked passed her mother's office and heard her talking.

Penelope stood off to the corner to hear and be out of sight.

"That third Mr. Bridgeton really wanted to marry Penelope so much so that he sealed the deal."

"What do you mean?" Penelope heard.

"Colin and Penelope had sex. He didn't pull out and she became pregnant with his child. He didn't
want to prevent that. He wanted to marry her. He liked her so much that he couldn't control
himself."

Penelope took in what her mother said. He didn't pull out...she didn't quite understand that part and
she also didn't know that he could have prevented the pregnancy during the carnal act and he chose
not to...he forced her hand.

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!