Women’s Patterns of Talk In The Third Wife Movie

CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTION

1.1 Background

Basically language and gender are two things that cannot be separated, language can

be judged by gender, and gender can be judged by language. Gender dominance in a

family can be seen from language, gender dominance is of course needed to provide

control in a family, the discussion of gender dominance in the family is discussed in

depth through an experiment by Tannen and summarized into a book entittled "he

said/She said : Woman, men and language, which basically concludes that gender

dominance in the family is shown through several way and one of them is 'mother

dynamic' and 'connection and control'. this is what is trying to be shown in a movie

entitled The Third Wife, The Third Wife is a 2018 Vietnamese costume drama movie

written and directed by Ash Mayfair, in her feature debut. Set in the 19th century, it

follows a 14-year-old girl who becomes the third wife to a landowner in rural

northern Vietnam.

This research will focus on three things, namely connection and control, meta

message, and mother dynamic. The three things above are women's patterns of talk,

therefore in this study the researcher will only focus on the main character, the other

two wives and the wife’s children, the reason is that the researcher only wants to
examine the women's pattern's of talking only at the smallest unit in the family which

usually only consists of husband, wife and children, and because this research only

examines women's pattern's, husbands cannot be included in the study. Connection

and control is a feature of gender in family, it talks about gender domination whose

assessment is based on perspective, it is possible for someone who cares and provides

a lot of direction for the good of a person instead is considered a person who regulates

and controls a lot. too motherly by people who are given attention. A metamessage is

a context-marker, a message which classifies actions or other messages. Not only is

playing a form of communication, it is a paradoxical form of communication. Mother

dynamic is another feature of gender in family, mother dynamic is a feature that

discusses the language and patterns used by family members towards family

members, gender and age positions in the This greatly determines the language and

pattern of each individual in the family.

The importance of this research is to describe how women's patterns of talk in the

wife movie and carry out elaboration because women's patterns of talk in the third

wife movie have never been studied before.

There are several studies that have been conducted regarding the women’s language.

Labotka (2009) studied about the assumption of Lakoff’s theory about woman speech

feature associated with lack of power rather than gendered indentity. Agustine (2004)

studied on how the female MTV VJs used Women’s speech features such as lexical

hedges or filers. Permatasi (2010) investigated the language used by main character
of Sex and City movie mostly relfect uncertainly and lack of confidence. The studies

above used the theory of Lakoff (1975) on women language feature used mostly by

women. Meanwhile the present study not only use Lakoff theory (1975 cited in

Labotka 2009) in women, but also investigates the use of women language used by

male character. Since there is previous studies verified about the use of women

language is based on social condition of being “male” and “female”, so the present

study tries to reveal the women’s pattern of talk in famiy.

The main reason the researcher chooses the topic of women's pattern of talk in this

study is because the problems presented on this topic are problems that can be

encountered everyday in a family. The reason why the researcher chooses the Third

Wife movie as the unit of analysis of research is because in this movie the researcher

wants to explore how women's patterns of talk are analyzed from the perspective of

talking at home, connection and control and mother dynamic. This research is

interesting because it focuses more on gender domination or gender control between

wives in cases of polygamy.

1.2 Research Question

Based on the background of the study above, the writer formulated the

research question:
“How are the women’s patterns of talk depicted The third wife movie viewed in terms

of connection and control, metamessagge, and mother dynamic based on Tannen’s

theory ?

1.3 Objective of the research

Based on research question above, the objective of this study is to describe

how the women’s patterns of talk are depicted in The third wife movie viewed in

terms of connection and control, metamessagge, and mother dynamic based on

Tannen’s theory.”

1.4 Scope of the Study

This research will focus on women's patterns of talk shown by the main

character (May), two other wives (Xuan and Ha) and children. the reason why the

researcher will only examine the women's pattern of talk shown by their wives and

children? because they are bound by a bond called family, so characters other than

them will not be included even if they are women because they have no family

relationship with the main character, the reason why the husband is not included even

though he is part of the family because what will be discussed is women's pattern of

talk. women's pattern of talk that will be discussed is connection and control, mother

dynamic and metamessage, and the reason the researcher choosees theory gender In

the family Tannen is because this theory is perfect in use to process problems in the

object that is selected on gender in the family that focuses on the Women Patterns of
Talk. It can not be denyed that there are other theory also discussing the language and

gender for example Lakoff's Women's Language theory, it is just that Lakoff's

Women's Language theory does not have features that can be used to discuss gender

in the family, especially women's patterns of talk in the family.

1.5 Significance of the Study

The writer expected that this study will provide theoretical and practical

significances.

1.5.1 Theoretical Significance

Theoretically, through this research the researcher can bring up new aspect in

language and gender research that have never been studied in previous research,

namely connection and control, metamessagge, and mother dynamic based on

Tannen’s theory.

1.5.2 Practical

Practically, this study is expected to be:

1. A reference for other researchers who want to make further study of

application of this theory.

2. Practically this research will contains information for a readers to understand

how women's pattern of talk work.

1.6 Definition of Terms

In this research there are some terms that are used. The purpose is to help the readers

to understand easily about the terms used. This part also gives brief explanation on

the terms that are used in this research to reduce some misconceptions.

a. Woman is an adult female person, woman belonging to a particular category

(as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation). (Webster)

b. Pattern of talk is a pattern that arises as a result of social communication that

is influenced by gender ,situation and position. (Tannen,2007)

c. According to Michael rabiger movie is something that is interesting and

entertaining, so that it makes the audience think more deeply.

 Chapter II

Literature Review

2.1 Sociolinguistic

Sociolinguistics is one of the primary fields of linguistics that studies language use in

a social setting. "A field that analyzes the relationship between language and society,

between the uses of language and the social structures in which the users of language

live," according to Spolsky (1998, p. 3). This branch of linguistics believes that

human civilization is made up of a variety of interconnected patterns and behaviors.

Sociolinguistics is a broad field that includes study in discourse analysis, interaction

studies, sociology, anthropology, cultural studies, feminism, and other areas.

Based on the results of the researcher's reading above, it can be concluded

Sociolinguistics is a branch of linguistics that explores how people use language in

social situations.

.2.2 Language and Gender

Too much abstraction is a concern in gender and language studies, as it is in

sociolinguistics and psycholinguistics in general. Abstraction of gender and language

from the social practices that produce their specific forms in particular communities

often obscures and distorts the ways they connect and how those connections are

implicated in power relations, social conflict, and the production and reproduction of
values and plans. Too much abstraction is typically a symptom of insufficient

thinking: abstraction should inform and respond to theorizing, not replace it.

Theoretical understanding of how language and gender interact necessitates a detailed

examination of the social actions that produce them together." (Oxford University

Press, 2011) Gender, Sexuality, and Meaning: Linguistic Practice and Politics Three

books, Male/Female Language (Mary Ritchie Key), Language and Women's Place

(Robin Lakoff), and Language and Sex: Difference and Dominance (Mary Ritchie

Key), kicked off the study of language and gender in 1975, the latter two of which

have continued to have a significant influence on sociolinguistic work (Barrie Thorne

and Nancy Hedley, Eds.). Gender stereotypes that are overly binary must be

challenged in Western society. Because it is critical that challenging exaggerated

notions of difference does not simply result in women assimilating to male, or

mainstream, norms, feminist scholars must simultaneously document and describe the

value of attitudes and behaviors long regarded as 'feminine.' In doing so, feminist

scholars challenge their exclusive association with women and emphasize their value

for all people." (Sandra Lee McKay and Nacy H. Hornberger, eds., Sociolinguistics

and Language Teaching, Cambridge University Press, 1996) "Language and gender

studies have expanded to include assessments of spoken, written, and signed

gendered identities, as well as sexual orientation, ethnicity, multilingualism, and, to

some extent, class" (Language and Gender, 2nd ed. Polity Press, 2010) [Deborah]

Tannen's (1990, 1994, 1996, 1999) writings on language and gender, in which he

examines interactions between men and women as a type of cross-cultural

communication and firmly establishes IS as a useful technique of gendered

interaction, validate IS as a useful method of gendered interaction. Her general

audience book, You Just Don't Understand (Tannen, 1990), offers insights into

common communication habits of both genders. Tannen's book has inspired scientific

and popular interest in the subject, similar to Lakoff's (1975) Language and Women's

Place. In truth, language and gender research 'exploded' in the 1990s and remains a

hot topic among academics from a variety of theoretical and methodological

perspectives (Kendall and Tannen, 2001)." "Gumperz and Interactional

Sociolinguistics." SAGE is a name used to describe a group of people. (Kendall and

Tannen, 2001)." ("Gumperz and Interactional Sociolinguistics." The SAGE

Handbook of Sociolinguistics, ed. by Ruth Wodak, Barbara Johnstone, and Paul

Kerswill. SAGE, 2011). Based on the results of the researcher's reading above, it can

be concluded that the relationship between gender and language can be seen in power

relations, in social conflict, in the production and reproduction of values and plans.

Research on gender and language requires an object in which both occur. Debora

tannen comes up with a research model that focuses on cross-relationships between

genders.
2.3 Critical perspectives on gender identity

This critical perspective on gender identity also has an emancipatory purpose. One of

the critical perspectives can be found in critical discourse analysis. The practical aim

of CDA is to stimulate a critical awareness of language, in particular an awareness of

how existing discourse conventions emerge as a result of power relations and power

struggles. This can be used in the exploration of the social construction of gender.

There are many branches of critical inquiry into issues of language and discourse that

are explicitly feminist. The stated aim of the feminist style, for example, is 'to raise

questions about our commonsense notions of gender and texts and to help create

productive suspicions of all processes of text interpretation'. Other distinct strands are

discursive psychology, feminist conversational analysis, performative theory, feminist

poststructuralist discourse analysis, feminist media studies, feminist pragmatics and

explicit feminist CDA. These critical perspectives differ in method and in theoretical

emphasis but they share the important insight that gender is not predefined or static

but is actively constructed and fluid.

Several gender construction studies place their emphasis on gender as performance.

Even when we are completely unaware of gender – simply taking it for granted as a

clear and unchanging part of our identity, as we often do – even then, we still engage
in gender routines. Critical perspectives share both the avoidance of gender

polarization and the perception of gender identity as dynamic.

2.3.1 discourse and discourses

the work of various discourse analysts, with a focus on research on how gender

interacts in several spoken genres, particularly storytelling and conversation. Most

discourse analysis concentrates on oral interactions, but discourse can be written as

well as spoken. This can be found in the work of the French philosopher and social

theorist Michel Foucault. Medical discourse defines health and disease.

What hysteria was has shifted from one century to the next. the exercise of social

power in and through discourse, through the definition of social objects and subjects

themselves. As Chris Weedon has pointed out, In Michel Foucault's work the post-

structuralist principles of plurality and the constant suspension of meaning and the

dangerous and discursive structures of subjectivity have been integrated into theories

of language and social forces paying detailed attention to the institutional effects of

discourse and social forces. its role in the constitution and government of individual

subjects. In his work, Foucault pays attention to the discourse of the social sciences,

which according to him have contributed substantially to making us what we are as

human beings. He writes about how the social sciences have afflicted humans

physically, constructing them as patients, as legal subjects, sexual subjects and so on.

In other words, he argues that practices and relationships between people come into
existence as a result of the socially constructed body of knowledge that we call 'social

science'. He shows that the fields of knowledge such as medicine and law – which

shape social subjects by making humans their material subjects – are not eternal

constructions but historical constructions. In The History of Sexuality, for example,

the focus is on the discursive constitution of sexual subjects in the juridical system,

medical texts and so on.

What Foucault does in his work is examine the social constitution, in language, of the

accumulated conventions associated with the body of knowledge. He does this by

investigating how power is exercised through these conventions, including how they

define social identity. The eighteenth century, Foucault observes, was a time of

population growth that brought with it problems of poor housing conditions, poor

health, and the like. Indeed, the idea of a country having a 'population' to manage,

care for and control dates back to this period.

In contrast to the 'people' – a relatively indeterminate mass to which a king can tax – a

population is an economic and political matter. It is only at this point that the ideas of

'sexual deviance', 'deviance' and 'unnatural acts' become possible. By the nineteenth

century, forms of sexuality and sexual perversion had been characterized and

cataloged as medical categories. Counterdiscourses proposes alternative versions of

social reality.
This has important implications for movements committed to bringing about social

change, such as feminism. The value of Foucault's conception of discourse lies in its

historical and social record of its definition, delimitation, and control. Discourse as a

social practice Critical discourse analysts use the term 'discourse' both in the

linguistic sense of social interaction in a given situation and in a Foucauldian sense.

One practitioner to combine the two is linguist Gunther Kress, who draws on

Foucault's work in the characterization of discourse as a sociocultural practice.

It provides descriptions, rules, permissions and prohibitions for social and individual

actions. Discourse is historically a collection of knowledge and practices that shape

people, giving positions of power to some but not to others. But they can only exist in

social interaction in certain situations.

It encapsulates the different meanings of discourse, presenting the use of language as

a form of social practice. How a particular listener or reader actually reads or hears a

text depends on what resources he or she has to interpret it. The point of emphasizing

this need for resources is that it stops us from thinking of texts as if they actually had

a fixed meaning independently of the social world in which they circulated. The

meaning of the text is not there yet, except as a potential meaning.

In CDA, textual analysis has linguistic and intertextual components. Intertextual

analysis requires a focus on the genres and discourses drawn. As understood in CDA,

intertextual analysis was influenced by Foucault's work on discourse, as well as by

Bakhtin's theory of dialogueism. A text is part of the discourse activity on certain

occasions, therefore it is represented in Figure 7.1 in discursive practice.

Discursive practice involves texts and the processes by which people produce and

interpret them. The type of discursive practice they engage in effectively imposes one

meaning over another. This is to show that discourse is a form of social practice, that

the use of language is not just an individual activity but a social act. Seeing discourse

as a social practice makes commitment to the wider social context important, because

it means discourse analysis must involve attention to 'the relationship between texts,

processes, and social conditions, both direct conditions from the situational context

and institutional and more distant conditions. social structure'.

This means paying more attention to the society and history in which discourse takes

place than discourse analysts usually do. From the position of the feminist CDA,

discourse is articulated in a patriarchal institutional and social structure. The

conceptions of discourse developed in this CDA provide a valuable framework for

studying language and gender. A perennial problem for language and gender
researchers is overcoming the sense of familiarity and clarity that so much vernacular

provides, and the accompanying danger of treating everyday experiences as if they

somehow occurred independently of society.

2.3.2 Gender identity and subject and position

This is known as the subject position. Consequently, each individual can be

considered as a constellation of subject positions conferred by different discourses.

Social subjects take positions in activities within social institutions and formations.

People enter into different subject positions in discourse.

This can change in a person's life, or even within an hour. Consider the stress

experienced by a woman who is responsible for the day-to-day care of an elderly

relative while at the same time being the full-time breadwinner. What he expects, and

does, as a person of a gender is definitely not constant. This generates tension, as

conflicting values, assumptions, and goals overwhelm us and shape us.

These contradictions are part of our gender identity. We all have conflicting desires

and goals. Consider the contradictions surrounding the demands of the body on

women as workers. As social subjects of the household – as wives, mothers,

daughters – women are expected to do whatever work is necessary to maintain their

families, regardless of how difficult and unpleasant the work may be.

But when it comes to the job market, difficulties and inconveniences are used as an

excuse to exclude women from doing what is traditionally men's work, on the basis of

beliefs about femininity. Contradiction is not only in the minds of these women.

People come into existence as social subjects whose identities are clear to them. It

may conflict with the desire to think of ourselves as processes, constructed by

elements most of us are not even aware of. But we are aware of it, because we are

defined and constrained in discourse both by spoken and written, and as speakers and

listeners, writers and readers.

Our sense of self, our autonomy as thinking individuals who master language, is

formed in discourse. They are busy involved in the construction of gender identity,

especially their own identity. They display their gender identity. If we think of gender

as performance, it can help us to avoid the mistaken impression that people are only

passively held together by discourse, like robots on a production line.

Gender identity is,, 'performative achievement' . The concept of subject position is at

the heart of all discourse analysis approaches influenced by poststructuralism. This

study looked at the language patterns of the two African-American women who were
the panelists. The panel discussion was broadcast immediately after, and in direct

response to, the national civil disturbances in the United States in 1992.

Mary Bucholtz argues that panel discussion, as a genre, is itself a combination of the

interview and conversation genres. The two women defied convention like interviews

forced by moderators. They do this in a variety of ways, including by breaking the

one-way question-and-answer format. The short excerpt below shows one of the

women who started this disorder.

In this epistemology knowledge is acquired through open discussion – something that

is not possible for panel moderators. The two women also used some elements of

African-American language in place of standard American English, the last of which

is a variation that is conventionally used in formal settings such as TV panel

discussions. They sometimes use phonological features typical of African-American

variations of English, such as the simplification of consonant clusters. They also used

some vocabulary elements recognized as African-American vernacular forms, such as

brother and cold in the meanings of 'black man' and 'withdraw' respectively.

Through this and other strategies, women impose their own kind of cultural space.

'These strategies', Bucholtz observes, 'allow speakers to subvert their own imposed

positions in interaction by constructing social identities and patterns of alignment for

themselves that are inconsistent with the roles assigned to them by the institutional
norms of discourse'. Both women act politically. By doing so, they affirm their social

identity as African-American women.

They openly display this social identity. The discourse study in education conducted

by Victoria Bergvall explicitly rests on the performative view of gender. He looks at

verbal interactions among engineering students, examines how gender identities are

constructed and enforced and focuses primarily on discourse in class and on small

group discussions. Engineering has traditionally been a masculine domain and,

although women are now studying to become engineers as well, it is still a very

androcentric field, both in education and elsewhere.

Traditional notions of gender identity apply. Bergvall observes that this creates major

problems for engineering students. It involves assertive competitive behavior, which

is perceived as 'masculine'. So these engineering students appear 'feminine' to their

fellow male students – conforming to the expectation that they should use speech

patterns that are supportive, cooperative, tentative and the like – and also present

themselves as assertive and competitive.

Bergvall observed that the fixed categories of masculine and feminine did not help at

all in calculating the speech patterns of engineering students, a pattern indicating that

they responded to stereotypical gender roles that competed for affirmation and

facilitation. Within the framework of 'difference' we examine in Part II, these women
can only be considered deviants. Such a range of 'masculine' and 'feminine' behaviors

of women can only be described in terms of gender as performative. The performance

model does not focus on 'the expected dichotomous differences under polarized,

feminine and masculine categorical roles, but on the enactment of gender roles in

specific social situations'.

Engineering students seem to respond to conflicting pressures by creating new gender

identities for themselves, apparently without them realizing it. Before moving on to

the lengthy examples in the next section, I will end this one with an observation on

the expression of gender ideology. The details vary from society to society, but the

«gender-gender» system is always related to the political and economic factors in

each society' . The ideology of gender and the hierarchies it employs generally seems

natural, clear, and a matter of simple common sense – that is, hegemonic.

2.3.3.The discursive construction of maternity

As an example of a study that takes a critical perspective, this section examines the

discursive construction of maternity. When a woman becomes pregnant, she is drawn

into the discourse of antenatal care, part of a larger medical discourse. The recognized

aim of antenatal care is to provide care to pregnant women and their unborn babies

during pregnancy so that they are both healthy at the time of delivery. Antenatal care
involves routine testing of the woman and fetus, screening for defects, diseases and

other possible hazards.

Discourse on antenatal care takes place in a variety of genres. The genres that women

in industrial society become involved in when they become pregnant include

antenatal classes, consultations such as interviews with doctors, midwifery checkups,

hospital checks, midwife visits. Language plays a more central role in some of these

genres than in others. Well, discourse is a social practice that contributes to the

construction of knowledge and identity and community relations.

Like it or not, women's social identity is tied to the capacity to bear children. Medical

discourse is an important site for the struggle for the domain of childbirth and the

formation of women's identities as mothers. Medical discourse about pregnancy and

childbirth is not the only one, but it is stronger than the others, and more widespread.

The discourse of antenatal care is held in high esteem by the forces behind medical

institutions, the forces exercised by the medical profession.

An interesting study of the discursive construction of pregnancy was carried out by

Sarah Kiær, a Danish scholar, when she was a graduate student at the University of
Lancaster and an expectant mother. The contrast between her identity as a scholar and

as a 'mother-to-be' is quite surprising. She has an uncomfortable feeling of being

turned into someone else by the social interactions side of pregnancy. In her studies,

she examines the articulation of antenatal care discourse across various genres, both

oral and written.

Her main sources were the antenatal classes she attended and the meetings with her

doctor during her surgery. She also referred to various printed materials, such as

pregnancy books distributed at antenatal clinics. Her work covers the history of the

medicalization of childbirth, an important component in her critical study of antenatal

care. What Kiær focuses on is the space that pregnant women take up in the discourse

of antenatal care.

He is concerned with the way pregnancy is constructed as a disease, the woman is

considered a patient and childbirth as a series of medical procedures. He investigates

the power relationships that occur in different genres, the attributes assigned to

mothers in antenatal care discourse, and how these contribute to the perpetuation of

unequal power relationships. This kind of depersonalization talk establishes them as

patients 'suffering from the pathology of pregnancy' and as objects carrying the baby

and a set of symptoms. In antenatal classes, mothers are instructed.

Instructors describe childbirth as a series of actions performed by a medical

practitioner, not by the mother herself. The focus is on hospital procedures, which

expectant mothers need to prepare if they are to run smoothly. In other words,

antenatal classes are women's 'ideological programming' for hospital care. In fact, in

the antenatal classes Kiær noted, they failed to adequately inform women about

choices and rights in childbirth.

These two oral genres articulate antenatal discourse. Kiær points out an interesting

difference between them. In doctor-patient interviews, pregnant women are

constructed as patients. The conversation will likely remain medical in nature, of the

kind you might encounter on every visit to your GP.

In the antenatal class, pregnant women are constructed as prospective patients. The

class seemed to be an initiation to patience using a combination of medical discourse

and maternal and family discourse. Routine medical procedures – including doctor-

patient interviews – emphasize the assumption that something is wrong. Pregnancy is

a medical condition, built up as a disease.

Women in labor were interpreted as patients. Emerging medical professions,

including midwifery, were exclusively male. Since the eighteenth century, the basic

assumption of the medical profession has been that women are not good at giving

birth. Delivery is carried out by a trained doctor, not by the pregnant woman herself.

The medical profession has the right to define what it is to be a good mother and to

determine what women need to know about childbirth. Kiær found that, apart from

telling a pregnant woman how she felt, these printed materials tended to assume

certain types of households and traditional conjugal relationships. For example, the

flyer she received at the Royal LancasterInfirmary had the title 'Can my husband

watch the scan?', which of course assumed that the mother

2.3.4 Examining constructions of genderidentity

This can be used to examine common understandings of gender identity in the

cultivation of 'productive suspicion' about texts. Why was this topic written?2. How

was this topic written?3. In it, I do not examine what women do and what men do, but

the production of human beings as men and as women.

In this chapter and in Part III as a whole I pay a lot of attention to CDA, but I do not

attempt to impose a single approach to examining the construction of gender identity.

Within this framework there are several common goals, namely the aim of

uncovering power relations, attention to the wider social context and, particularly

with regard to gender studies, the absence of polarization into 'men do this, women do

that'. A person's ethnic identity does not exist separately from that person's gender or

age identity. It highlights the way in which identity and oppression are intertwined

and the complexities of identity and the operation of power, thereby explicitly

addressing multiple subject positions.

Review

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reproduksi, jenis wacana ini sering dijumpai di sekolah kedokteran dan pada sekolah

tingkat dasar hinggah atas, jenis wacana ini memerlukan pemilihat kata yang sangat

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jenis ini terlepas dari ikatan etnis, agama dan budaya

Based on my reading above, it can be concluded that the purpose of critical discourse

analysis is to stimulate critical awareness of language and also many critical

investigations of feminist gender, DCA is here to expand the area of research, where

previously research was limited to spoken things, now through CDA research has

been developed to cover the area of literary writing. DCA generally has the same

goals as the emancipation of feminism. In the gender subject position, women do all
housework such as cooking, taking care of children and cleaning the house regardless

of whether the work is enjoyed or not and how difficult the work is, but when it

comes to the industrial market or the labor market women use discomfort as an

excuse to avoid jobs that Literally it is actually done by men, this is of course

contrary to the emancipation of feminism which at one point demands to get jobs that

are equal to men. The position of the gender subject does not only depend on gender

differences but also depends on age, therefore the position of the gender subject in a

community can change. In discourse research, there are many types of discourse that

will appear, for example discourse that discusses maternity, in this discourse it is

written about the procedures that pregnant women must go through, both before

giving birth, during childbirth and after giving birth, this discourse contains a very

detailed explanation To help prepare for the birth, of course this discourse is directly

related to the topic of gender discourse.

2.4 ‘‘Women’s language’’ and gendered positioning

There were other elements in the picture she painted of ''women'slanguage,'' but the

main focus was on its ''powerlessness,'' seen as de-riving from the ''weak'' stance or

position those women were assuming . Overall, Lakoff proposed, a distinctive part of

speaking ‘‘as a woman’’is speaking tentatively, side stepping firm commitment and

theof action. Women are disempowered by being constrained to use ‘‘powerless’’

language, ways of speaking that sim-ply are not very effective in getting others to

think or do what thespeaker wants them to. She was arguing that in positioning
themselves as women, in taking up a certain place in the gender order, those who

made use of the various resources she identified were also positioning them selves as

powerless, were rejecting positions of authority from which they might successfully

launch their meanings into discourse with a reasonable hope for their success.

Reading Lakoff's work, many drew the moral that women could beempowered by

changing their modes of speech, assuming more au-thoritative positions as speakers.

As Mary Crawford ex-plains, lots of people jumped on the ''assertiveness

bandwagon" dur-ing the late 1970s and the 1980s, proposing to train women to

speakmore assertively, to move away from the positions Lakoff had identi-fied as

constitutive of powerlessness and of ''women's language." Butas Crawford and others

have argued, such moves wrongly assume that it is deficits in individual women that

explain their relative power-lessness. Promoting compensatory training for individual

women, they suggest, obscures the social arrangements that keep women's wages far

below men's and assign disproportionate social and political power to men. 3Other

readers of Lakoff pointed to the fact that the positioning de-vices she described as

constitutive of ‘‘speaking as a woman’’ are actu-ally multifunctional.

As we have already stressed, the multifunctionality of linguistic formsis an important

theme in language and gender research of the pastcouple of decades. Lakoff's

proposals had the salutary effect of directing attention to ahost of linguistic minutiae

that usually are at best minimally noticed in the flow of conversational interaction.

They suggested that what Lakoff had identified as ‘‘women’s’’ lan-guage really was
‘‘powerless’’ language in the sense of being used bythose with relatively little power,

but it was not necessarily gendered. They also tested Lakoff's claim that many of

these linguistic strategiesmight rendering language ‘‘powerless’’ in the sense of

rendering it ineffective.

In the remainder of this chapter, we will say something about how gender interacts

with the production and interpretation of these and other positioning resources.

Based on what I read, I can conclude that the results of research conducted by Lakoff

show that there are many weaknesses in speaking for women, which means that this

research is contrary to or against the feminist emancipation movement. language

weaknesses in women. According to Lakoff, women always position themselves as

people who are not authoritarian in speaking, in the sense that women are always in a

lower position when speaking.

2.5 Gender and the use of linguistic varieties

Speakers will not accept the linguistic influence of people they don't respect -- their

linguistic variety indicates a movement toward the desired identity, the community of

practice in which they wish to participate. Given that our lives involve participation in

various communities of practice, our linguistic practice involves a certain amount of

heterogeneity. Depending on where we are, what we're doing, who our audience is,

what we're talking about, how we feel about the situation -- and a few other things --

we need resources to adapt our diversity to our immediate needs. An important aspect

of using gender-based varieties is the relationship of language to opportunity

structures for material success, which notably includes work outside the home and,

for some, marriage to a spouse with good economic prospects.

Employment structures develop gender-based language in subtle ways. Jobs often

require certain types of language skills -- whether it's simply because of the

community they're in, or because of the type of work they actually do. And the jobs

themselves may attract women or men differently because they are gender-specific or

because there are local or temporary reasons for women or men to be attracted to

them. Job availability by gender works on linguistic norms in more ways than one.

On the one hand, actual work may not require specific language skills, but being in

the workplace can make provide greater access to certain varieties. On the other hand,

the different linguistic requirements of jobs that attract male or female employees can

motivate men and women to develop different linguistic skills. In either case, the

effect on community norms can be profound, as the anticipation of entering

employment by gender can motivate the development of different languages in

childhood. The role of industrialization and urbanization is very strong in language

change and language shift, as people have moved from their local farming

communities to large cities, leaving small farms for paid jobs, especially in factories.

This usually requires a shift from one's local variety to a more global variety -

whether regional or national standards. The gender pattern of these shifts depends on
the local details of social change, but a common development is for women to leave

agriculture at the earliest, and thus lead the shift away from vernacular languages. Gal

found that women's linguistic choices in the Oberwart community were influenced

not so much by availability, but by preference, for jobs that required a standard

language, German. In this community, Hungarian is the language of peasant life that

does not offer women the same benefits as it does for men.

Men inherit and control the household and land, while women do farm work and all

household work on their husbands' property. Modernization tends to affect

agricultural work before it affects household work, tying women in farming

households to heavy physical labor hours while their husbands' burdens in the field

are lightened by modern farming equipment. Gal found that women led the men in

the transition from Hungary to Germany in these communities, as many of them were

attracted to the factory jobs available in nearby German-speaking cities. In these two

cases, one would not say that the jobs that attract women to the standard language

market are themselves gender-specific.

Women, on the other hand, find the best jobs as teachers or asthmatics in wealthy

homes or hotels -- all places where they are expected to use more standard language.

In this case, it is the position of gender in the language market that causes gender

differences in speech. argues that gender roles in western societies tend to involve

women more than men in the standard language market. Women in their traditional

work roles are often what Sankoff et al.

« have been called '' language technicians. » Jobs as private caregivers and tutors

were an early extension of the domestic role of middle-class women into the

workplace, enabling educated women to earn a living, while distancing them from the

public sphere. Some caregivers teach academic subject matter, but all teach manners

and subtlety, of which linguistic propriety is an important component. While

caregivers provide private instruction to elite children, other women play the same

role as classroom teachers of somewhat less fortunate children. As primary school

teachers, women are responsible for providing children who do not have access to

private instruction with “moral” and intellectual education, including access to

“correct” or standard grammar. »

« This job requires a language technician not because language qualifies a person to

directly handle the practical demands of the job, but because it serves

as the cultural capital needed to become the “kind” of person who is qualified to

occupy that position. In this case, mastery of the standard receptionist language is not

only part of the individual's cultural capital but is also part of the company's cultural

capital. In her study of the language of corporate managers in Beijing, QingZhang

examines prime examples of women providing cultural capital for their companies, as

different work trajectories shape the use of Mandarin by women and men. In state-

owned businesses, the career trajectories of women and men are the same.
However, in foreign-owned businesses, men move directly into sales positions and

quickly become management, while women are initially given secretarial jobs, and

they only gradually move into management positions. Hired primarily for their

linguistic skills, these women's initial value to their companies was their ability to

represent the company in other languages as well as in other Chinese languages, and

to present a cosmopolitan image for the company. Thus, these women developed a

more ''cosmopolitan« -- less localized ''Beijing'' Chinese style - as befits a global-

based company. This variation is very different from that of employed by men in the

same business, whereas the remarks of managers in state-owned businesses show

very small gender differences.

Work is only one way in which gender activity leads to gender differences in the

development and use of linguistic varieties. For women who do not work in the

public market, linguistic needs and preferences will depend on the nature of their

private lives. Building on a tradition where women do not compete in financial

markets, a woman may use standard language in social markets. The social networks

of women and men can also cause differences in linguistic patterns.

In a study of English spoken in Belfast, LesleyMilroy found that vernacular language

use was reinforced in close local-based social networks. Milroy found that due to

poor work situations for women, women's networks tend to be less dense and multi-

plexed than their male counterparts. In that situation, women's use of vernaculars is
many steps ahead of their male counterparts. In a study of migrants from rural

communities to Brazil, a satellite city near Brazil, Stella Maris Bortoni-Ricardo found

that men more easily adapt their rural dialect to urban variations than women.

The obvious reason is that men find job opportunities in Brazil which give them

access to social networks where variations of the city ban are used. Women, on the

other hand, are constrained by the environment in which they live. Because these

neighborhoods are inhabited by other people migrating from the same rural area, they

have little access to urban variety. He found four exceptions to this pattern, which

turned out to be four women who came from large nuclear families, and who were

exposed to a lot of interaction with school-age people at home, providing

considerable exposure to urban culture and language.

Based on the results of my reading it can be concluded that, women do not have too

many job choices because, women use discomfort as an excuse to avoid menial jobs

which are naturally men's jobs, therefore women must be more proficient in language

in order to get jobs that are only rely on speech and not use too many muscles

2.6 Gender and Family InteractionIn

In recent years, discourse analysts have also conducted language studies in the

context of family interactions. Drawing on an ongoing research project in which

multiple career couples with stay-at-home children record all of their interactions

over the course of a week, as well as video footage of naturally occurring family

interactions that appear in public television documentaries, I examine how patterns

Gender-related interactions influence and illuminate family interactions, and what

light does this insight shed on the ideology of our language within the family as well

as on theoretical approaches to discourse. In particular, I question the prevailing

tendency to approach family interactions as exclusively, or primarily, a struggle for

power.

2.6.1 Power and Connection in the Family: Prior Research

Researchers routinely interpret family interactions through family ideological

templates as the locus of power struggles. Discourse within the family can be seen as

a power struggle, yes, but it's also - and equally - a struggle for connection. Indeed,

the family is the prime example - perhaps the prime example - of the need for power

and connection in human relationships. Among recent research on discourse in family

interactions, three book-length studies stand out.

The earliest, Richard Watts' Power in Family Discourse, is unique in analyzing the

conversations between adult siblings and their spouses rather than nuclear families of

parents and children living in the same household. Although Blum-Kulka does not

directly address the relationship between power and connection, he does address the

dual and sometimes conflicting needs of parents both to socialize their children in the

sense of teaching them what they need to know, and at the same time to socialize.

with them. in the sense of enjoying their company. This perspective indirectly
discusses the relationship of power and connections in the family. Psychologists

Millar, Rogers, and Bavelas wrote about the «control maneuver» and noted that in

family therapy, «Conflict occurs in the dimensions of relationship strength.» I'm not

questioning or denying this assumption, but I'm going to complicate it.

2.6.2 The Power/Connection Grid

In conventional wisdom, as well as in research that retraces Brown and Oilman's

classic studies of power and solidarity, Americans have a tendency to conceptualize

the relationship between hierarchy and connection as unidimensional and mutually

exclusive. Family relations are at the core of this conception. For example, Americans

often use the terms «sister» and «brother» to denote «close and equal.» So if someone

says «We are like sisters» or «He is like brother,» the implication is, «We are as close

as siblings, and there is no status game, there is not a single improvement between

us.» On the other hand, the hierarchical relationship area is considered to be a barrier

to closeness. I suggest that in reality the relationship between power and solidarity is

not one dimensional but a multidimensional network.

In the same way, sibling relationships are viewed as inherently hierarchical. Wetzel

points out that in the Japanese cultural conception, power is understood as the result

of the individual's place in the power network. alliance.

2.6.3 A Paradigm Case of the Ambiguity and Polysemy of Power and Connection

The family is a key locus for understanding the complex and indivisible relationship

between power (negotiations along the hierarchy-equality axis) and connection

(negotiations along the proximity-distance axis). And nowhere does this connection

become clearer than the role of a key family member, mother. For example, Hildred

Geertz (1989 [1961]: 20) writes that there are, in Javanese, "two main levels of

language, respect and familiarity." (I will point out that, in light of the grid presented

above, these are two distinct dimensions: respect lies on the hierarchy-equality axis,

whereas familiarity is a function of the proximity-distance axis.) Geertz observes that

children use the familiar register. when talking to their parents and siblings until

around the age of ten or twelve, when they gradually transition to respect in

adulthood. However, she adds, "Most people continue to speak to mothers in the

same way they did as children; some turn to respect in adulthood" (p. 22). This opens

the question of whether mothers are addressed in this way because they are less

respected than fathers, or because their children feel closer to them. I suspect both at

once, and trying to separate them might be futile. Although the linguistic coding of

respect and familiar registers is a linguistic phenomenon not found in English, there

are also phenomena in English that parallel those described by Geertz. Ervin-Tripp,

O'Connor, and Rosenberg (1984) looked at forms of "control measures" in the family

to measure power in that context. They found that “effective power and rewards are

age related” (p. 134). Again, however, "mothers in our sample are an important
exception to the ..." pattern (p. 135). "In their role as caregivers," the authors note,

mothers "receive commands that are disrespectful, indicating that children expect

obedience and trust their wishes to be sufficient justification." As with Javanese, one

could ask whether children use the bald imperative more when speaking to their

mother because they have less respect for their mother, or because they feel closer to

their mother, or both.

2.6.4 Power Lines - or Connection Lines – in Telling Your Day

Much of the research done on family discourse has focused on conversations

produced in the context of dinner table conversations. The dining table is a favorite

place, no doubt, both because dinner is the main time family members usually get

together and exchange conversations, and also because it is a limited event where

speakers gather around the table and are therefore relatively easy to record. This

happens not only to mothers who are at home with their children during the day, but

also to mothers who work full time, because in general they come home from work

earlier than fathers, and they ask their children about their day during working hours.

the time they had with them before Daddy came home. Dad might ask "How was

your day?" like Mom did before dinner.

But in this family, he usually doesn't. Ochs and Taylor identify roles in this narrative

exchange as «problem solvers» and «problem receivers.» «problematizer» reacts to a

family member's account of an experience in a way that is critical of how the speaker

handled the situation. For example, when a child is eight years old. Just as a mother

usually encourages a child to tell Dad what happened, an older sibling is more likely

to urge a younger sibling to tell a story about something that happened than the other

way around.

In this sense, siblings treat their younger siblings more or less the way parents treat

their children - something, I've noticed, siblings often see and hate, especially if the

older brother or sister isn't much older. Ochs and Taylor found that children were

most often in trouble - those whose behavior was judged by others. Rarely do they

create problems—those who question other people's behavior as problematic. As

Ervin-Tripp, O'Connor, and Rosenberg found, mothers are not up there, as parents,

along with fathers.

Mothers find themselves in the position of problematizers as often as they are

problematizers. Thus, fathers are in a position to judge the actions of their wives in

addition to those of their children, but mothers only judge the behavior of their

children, not their husbands. In other words, the dynamic of storytelling places the

mother at the center of the family hierarchy - above the children, but below the father.

The author also observes that mothers often question their own actions.
For example, a woman named Marie owns and runs a daycare center. At dinner, he

told me about a client who took his son out of the center, and paid his final bill. The

client handed over more money than needed to cover the time her son spent in

daycare, so Marie returned the excess. In this revealing study, Ochs and Taylor

identify an important dynamic in middle-class American families in which the family

is the power structure with the father at the top.

When a mother asks her children what they do during the day, she creates closeness

by exchanging details of daily life, a verbal ritual often performed to mark female

friendship. In other words, it's a connection maneuver. It just means that she doesn't

assume that closeness is created by verbal rituals of telling the details of someone's

day, and she probably doesn't think of closeness as the most important barometer of

her relationship with her children. When Mother encourages a child, "Tell Dad what

you did in karate today," is true, starting a dynamic where the father will judge the

child's actions and thus be appointed the judge of the family.

But I'll bet that the goal is to involve dad in the family, bringing him into the circle of

intimacy he feels built up by such talk. Similarly, mothers who encourage their

children to tell their fathers what they did that day, or who talk about their own day,
are trying to create a relationship. But the father, unaware of the ritualistic nature of

his comments, thought he was being asked to judge. In this view, it was not the

mother's initiation of the «Telling Your Day» routine itself that established the father

as the judge of the family.

On the other hand, the «dad knows best» dynamic is created by the interaction of

gender-related patterns. Fathers act as judges of the actions told in the story because

they think that is why they are told. Dads tend not to talk about their own work

problems because they don't want advice on how to solve problems there, so they see

no reason to talk about it. On the few occasions where Ochsand Taylor finds dads

"matter" themselves, it's no surprise that mom throws no further at them - not because

mom feels they have no right to judge, but more likely because they took this

revelation in the spirit of trouble. speak rather than as an invitation to give an

assessment.

This clashing ritual results in mothers finding themselves at the bottom of the family

hierarchy without knowing how they got there. I have discussed this example from

Ochs and Taylor at length to show how gender-related discourse patterns can explain

phenomena observed in family interactions in previous research, and how what has
been accurately identified as a negotiating power issue is also a concurrent and

indivisible problem. negotiation connection.

2.6.5 Self-Revelation: A Gender-Specific Conversational Ritual

Here too, the conversations that take place within the family reflect the different

expectations of family members of different sexes. In this example, one of the project

participants recorded a conversation with his unmarried brother. The older brother

asked his brother about his girlfriend, whom I will call Kerry. It was clear the older

sister was looking for some kind of exchange that her older sister didn't provide.

The conversation takes on an almost comical character, as the sister becomes more

and more probing in reaction to her brother's minimal response. In this example, the

sister asks repeated and more probing questions because the brother's answers are

minimal, and the brother's responses may become more guarded as the questions

become more pressing. The quote comes from a documentary made by filmmaker

JenniferFox called "An American Love Story." The documentary was shown in five

two-hour segments on the US Public Broadcasting System in September 1999. In

preparation for the documentary.

Fox follows Karen Wilson's family, BillSims, and their two daughters, in Queens,

New York, for two years starting in 1992. In this episode, her youngest daughter,

Chaney, anticipates her first «date» - a day out - with the boys. -male, even though his

parents were worried. After the whole family had spent several hours waiting for him,
Chaney got a call explaining that his grandmother had denied him permission to

leave.

2.6.6 gender difference between parents

The significance of this gender pattern in the definition of closeness, and the

significance of closeness in women's evaluations of family relationships, appears in

the discourse recorded in another public television documentary, "An American

Family," which was shown in twelve hourly weekly segments in 1973. For the series

During this time, filmmakers Alan and Susan Raymond filmed the William and Pat

Loud family and their five children in Santa Barbara, California, for seven months.

My student Maureen Taylor examines conversations between parents about their

children, and in particular their teenage daughter Delilah. Pat Loud takes Delilah on a

trip to New Mexico.

Delilah came home early - and Pat, on her own return, tried to get her husband to tell

her what Delilah had said when he got home. Because Pat had devoted her married

life to caring for her children, she experienced their departure as abandonment. The

growth of his children freed him from that burden. So Bill and Pat's different

reactions can be explained not only by the different roles they take in their families,

but also by the differences in what women and men tend to focus on in relationships

in general and family relationships in particular.

Bill and Pat Loud's example, then, shows that the family's vessel of joy is a complex

fabric of relationships and power, responding to and interpreting these patterns of

power based on gender, and that an understanding of these patterns is necessary to

understand what goes on in family interactions.

2.6.7 Balancing Power and Connection in a Family Argument

In this final section, I examine several examples of family discourse recorded by one

of the couples who participated in the research project described above by recording

their own conversation. In each of the following examples, mothers and fathers use

complex verbal strategies to balance the need to negotiate power and connection as

they perform the tasks necessary to sustain the daily lives of their young families. The

couple, under pseudonyms Molly and Ben, have a two-year-old daughter, Katie. At

one point in the tape, Molly and Ben, both at home, get into an argument about

making popcorn.

Molly replied, from the kitchen, "I'm making popcorn." And then he added, «You

always burn it». Obviously what is at stake, and what happens next, can be

understood as a series of control maneuvers. Ben wants to switch roles with Molly, so

Molly will take over the daycare and Molly will take over the popcorn preparation.

Molly refused this switch.

At the same time, however, doubting Ben's ability to make popcorn, he puts it down.

Here, again, Molly's story is a blend of power and connection. To the extent that she

is trying to get what she wants - taking back control of the popcorn preparation -

Molly is involved in a control maneuver. All of these are connection maneuvers,

although they create a connection to Katie rather than Ben. From the kitchen, Ben

overhears this conversation and in turn refuses.

2.6.8 Gender and Family Interaction: Coda

In all of these examples, I've tried to show that while family interactions are, as

researchers tend to assume, an ongoing struggle for power, it's also an ongoing

struggle for connection. Furthermore, family interactions constitute an ongoing

negotiation of gender identities and roles. Alexandra Johnston, a member of the

research team who spent time with Molly and Ben and transcribed their

conversations, observed that one way Molly positioned herself as the primary

caregiver was by frequently correcting Ben's parenting. On the other hand, Ben rarely

corrected Molly's upbringing. In this way, the last example, like all the previous ones,

illustrates that we need to understand family interactions - like all human interactions

- not only as negotiations for power but also as negotiations for connection. Linguistic

strategies that can be identified as control maneuvers should also be examined as

connection maneuvers.
Based on the results of my reading, it can be concluded that the discourse that

discusses family interaction has been carried out and is more focused on the struggle

for power, in this case the object of the family is a dual career partner. apart from

being a place for power struggles, the family is also a place to build connections

between individual families, the two things must be balanced in order to create a

harmonious family. There are some words that should only be found in exclusive

family conversations used as terms to show the level of closeness of a person in

general. That there are two levels of language, namely respect and familiarity,

language at the level of respect is usually shown for older people, while familiarity is

shown for people of the same age or under age. In the power lines in telling your day,

the father occupies the highest place and acts as a judge who not only judges his

children but also judges his wife, the mother's position is in the middle, which is

higher than the child but lower than the father, the mother's position is tasked with

getting children to talk and give advice but cannot judge the opinion of the father, the

position of the eldest child is under the mother, this position gives the eldest child a

little power to make the youngest child do something, the position of the youngest

child is the lowest position that only ready to accept judgment and advice. Gender

differences in families always expect different things, for example, older sisters

expect their younger brothers to be more open and younger brothers hope that their

older sisters do not interfere in their affairs. gender different between parents is a

discussion about the difference in the relationship between father and child and
mother and child, both have different attitudes towards one case, for example when a

23 year old child has to leave home to look for work, a mother tends to be sad

because she is separated from her child. but the father figure will tend to be proud

because his child has grown up and is responsible. power and connection is

something that will be found in everyday arguments in the family, the use of power

and connection can only occur within the family environment and also couples who

are dating and friendly relations.

2.7 Talking at home and gender in the family

The family is a microcosm of gender relations. In order to understand talk in the

family, we have to first understand gender patterns in talk. And the family is the

training ground on which we learn to inhabit, express, and manipulate the patterns of

behavior, the ways of talking, that are associated with gender. In this lecture, we’ll

examine how gender patterns emerge as family members negotiate the dynamics of

power and connection. It brings together my work on gender with my work on family

interaction, as laid out in my book I Only Say This Because I Love You. We’ll also

introduce a concept that is crucial for all communication but which has special power

in the family—what Dr. Tannen calls “metamessages. ‘Metamessages,’ from

anthropologist Gregory Bateson, refers to two levels of meaning in what we say.

What it says about the relationship that we say these words in this way at this time—

our emotions are usually reacting to the metamessages. The meaning of

metamessages comes from the way something is said, the fact that it’s said, and
meanings already on our mind from previous conversations. An example of this is a

woman who points out salmon that her husband might like on a menu after he has

already chosen steak, which leads to an argument.