It's so funny that I know so many people

Yet none except for that person

Has any good nickname for me .
No one has called me by my pen name
Except for that idiot.
I still eagerly wait and feel so excited ,
Everytime I hear being called" Ko:kan
", Every morning.
I wish I were not that foolish
And submitted like a humble devotee
To the worship of my idol .
Yet I believe in my moments of transgressions
and tribulations ,
A certain period does come ,
When I reminded of the idealness and
perfection ,
Which is embodied by that fool
And I see my degradation and console
My heart, " You were never enough to
deserve such a gem. "
And curse myself .
In those cursing of mine , I realise I still
Admire that buffoon a lot
And won't forget so easily .
T e ragrance o your o y as merge
in my soul,
And it's been , yet I remembe r it so
freshly in my memories ,
How you smelt intoxicatin g , just like
The leftover malt of the millet oppo
Brewed in your home , the smell of poka.
Like the mysteriou s sweet odour of Night
Queen , which blossoms in dark and
falls in day,
Whose plant grew near the room you
rented ,
And by whose side I would pass every
Sunday morning ,
Just like the devouts go to church
And the deviants to charlatans ,
Only difference being
Mine was never to be known unlike
theirs .
 There's no freshly brew millet ,
There's no Night Queen.
You are there and I am there ,
Yet there's so much distance between us
As if we are from different ages ,
And there's centuries between us .
I wish one day , I can lean on your shoulders
And cry and laugh and smile and talk,
Looking at those green fields of paddy,
Besides the flowing Subansiri,
Under the shade of that old Orange tree
Or under the constant watch of that bird
Who's build her nest on the branches of
That long, old , brown chestnut tree .
And will remember old days .
But I know , that it won't be true ever ,
Because I will go ahead of you ,
And I'll never get to go back there to
Collect tl1e fallen seeds of Ambrosia .
So you be there and wait for me ,
As I have done all this while ,
For last 14 years ....
Like the patient subjects of Ayodhya ,
Come back , you to me , in your Pushpak viman ,
And I'll celebrate Diwali tl1at day and
Burn Lanka of all my sorrows .
Hope you'll .....