Fundamentals of Coaching Journal Editable

Certi ed Life Coach Page 1 of 73
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Table of contents
Welcome to The Fundamentals of Coaching 3
The Coaching Principles 5
Rapport 7
Intake form 9
Empathy 15
Awareness 16
Presence & Deep Listening 20
Creating Trust 22
Congruence 24
Neutrality 28
Powerful questions 35
Boundaries & Agreements 39
Coaching agreement template 42
The Structure of a Coaching Session 46
Pre-session form 47
Post-session form 49
Goals and Action Plans 51
Nurturing the Coaching Relationship 60
Personal Accountability and Follow up 62
Coaching for Challenges and Coaching for Growth 64
Coaching Through Thinking 66
Coaching Through Emotions 69
Coaching Through Behaviors and Habits 71

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Welcome to The Fundamentals of Coaching
De nition of coaching
“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is

helping them to learn rather than teaching them.” – Sir John Whitmore
As coaches, we must know that our clients already possess the answer to their
problems, what we do, is help them bring that answer to their awareness. This
empowers your clients, it creates ownership, and has better longer-lasting
performance results.
Coaching is not about hours, it’s about results.
Remember that individual change is a process, not an event, so it will take time. It’s
about helping people understand what are their core values, and discover their true
hopes and dreams in order to create intrinsic motivation and con dence to achieve
anything they want.
You have to invest in your ongoing learning and growth continuously if you want to be
a great coach. There is no way you can take someone farther than what you’ve gone
yourself!
As a coach, you always have to keep growing and learning.
And nally, you have to be very clear when something falls out of your scope of
practice, and know when to refer your client to another specialist (for example if your
client has a deeper psychological issue that can put their lives in danger).
What you will learn over the next 4 weeks

In weeks 1 & 2 you will learn the Principles of Coaching:
-Rapport
-Empathy
-Awareness
-Presence & deep listening
-Creating trust
-Congruence
-Neutrality
-Powerful questions

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In week 3 we dive into the Coaching Relationship:
- Boundaries & Agreements
- The Structure of a Coaching Session
- Goals and Action Plans
- Nurturing the Coaching Relationship
- Personal Accountability and Follow up
Then on week 4 you will learn Coaching in Works:

- Coaching for Challenges and Coaching for Growth
- Coaching Through Thinking
- Coaching Through Emotions
- Coaching Through Behaviors and Habits

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The Coaching Principles
Understanding these coaching principles will create a solid base for you to be able to
coach anyone!
When technique fails, these principles will guide you through.
We will expand more on these principles throughout this quest, but we want to start
with a general introduction:
Rapport: is creating an emotional connection between you and the person sitting in
front of you.
Empathy: is the ability to understand the thoughts, feelings or emotions of someone

else.
Awareness: is the ability to recognize your perspective not just in your experience, but
in how others see you as well.
Presence & deep listening: Presence is the ability to be fully conscious and create a
spontaneous relationship with the client. Deep listening refers to the ability to hear
behind the meaning of the words.
Creating trust: Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have
confidence in them and you feel safe with them.
Congruence: Congruence means having a consistent state of behavior. You do what

you say, think, and feel.
Neutrality: is the ability to view and experience a situation with a clear, unbiased
perspective.
Powerful questions: Powerful questions create insights, inspire creative & clear
thinking, and help people move past their limitations.
Your Notes:
Certified Life Coach Page 5 of 73

Action Steps
Rate yourself on the level of understanding of each principle.
The Coaching Principles rating sheet
Rate yourself from 1-10 on your level of understanding of each of the fundamentals.
1 being not proficient
10 being very skillful
Coaching Principle Rating

Rapport
Empathy
Awareness
Presence & deep listening
Creating trust
Congruence
Neutrality
Powerful questions

Rapport
Rapport is creating that invisible but important emotional connection between you
and the person sitting in front of you.
It is key to creating any relationship. Especially in coaching, where your client needs
to trust you so they feel safe in order to be open to working with you in all areas of
their life and business.
If this connection is not genuinely born out of love and service, your client will feel it,
and the connection will be lost.
You will know you have established rapport when you see your client feel more
relaxed, and they start to share their feelings and emotions, rather than just facts and
information.
How to create rapport with a new client
You can start building rapport even before your rst coaching session by taking some
time to get to know more about your client. This will make your session easier, as you
will already be aware of some ways that you can create rapport.
*You can use the Intake form for this purpose.
These are some important questions that you can ask yourself before your rst
session:
• Who are you meeting?

• What do you know about them?
• What are the biggest pain/challenges that the person is experiencing?
• Do you have any experience around those pains or challenges?
• How can you support them?
How to build rapport in a coaching session?
Although rapport builds over time, and it cannot be arti cially fabricated, there are
techniques that you can use:
• Keep your eye contact consistent (around 60% of the time). This allows your client to
feel seen and heard without feeling threatened.
• Make your body language open. Uncross your arms, avoid covering your heart and
turn to face the person you are talking to.
• Be genuine and honest. Smile.
• Mirroring: Match the client’s body postures and tone of voice - Not all the time!
• Celebrate small wins.
• Share personal stories, nd common interests.

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• Listen attentively and provide spaces of silence where the client can express their
thoughts and feelings, or reflect.
• Use non-threatening and ‘safe topics’ for initial small talk. Focus on what is going
right in your client’s life first.
Your Notes:
Action Steps
Try some of the tips for creating rapport in your next conversation (with a client or a
friend), and see if it increases the efficacy of the conversation
*You will find the intake form in a separate document inside your quest as well

Intake Form
Name: ___________________________ Date: ________________________________
Address: _______________________________________________________________
___________________________ Postal code: ________________________________
Phone: ___________________________ Mobile: ______________________________
E-mail: ________________________________________________________________
As coach, it's important for me to understand how you view the world in general and
yourself in particular. Each person has a unique way of thinking and a unique way of
interacting with those around him or her.
Answer each of these questions as clearly and thoughtfully as possible, expressing

the best of who you are. These are "pondering" questions designed to stimulate your
thinking in a particular way that will make our work together even more productive.
I suggest that you take several days to compose your responses to these questions.
Thank you.
1. What do you want to make sure you get from the coaching relationship? (maybe
write down 2 or 3 things that occur to you)
2. What are the main goals you want to work on?

3. What can I say to you when you are most "stuck" that will return you to action?
4. What do you want most from your career / job?
5. What skills or knowledge would you like to develop?
6. How do your career goals support your personal goals?

7. What support do you need most right now on your career?
8. What accomplishments must, in your opinion, occur during your lifetime so that you
will consider your life to have been satisfying and well lived?
9. What are you most passionate about?
10. What is the impact you would like to make in your community / your country / the
world?

11. Write down 2-3 things that are really working well for you right now.
12. What do you do when you feel pressure, anxiety, or stress?
13. If money and time were not an issue, what would you love to create in the next 5
years?

14. What’s missing in your life? What would make your life more fulfilling?
15. Who are the most significant people in your life?
16. What have been some of the most significant events that have shaped your life?
(Describe your top 3)
17. Tell me about a time when you were operating at "peak performance", when things
were going well for you, you were "on top of your game", you were pleased with what
you were doing or accomplishing. What was going on? Who else was involved? How

did you feel? (This is no time for modesty – share openly and deeply, like you were on
top of the world!)
18. Is there anything else you want me to know about you?
19. . What is your Love Language? 5lovelanguages.com
20. What is your Myers-Briggs? 16personalities.com

Empathy
Empathy is defined as the ability to understand the thoughts, feelings, or emotions
of someone else. This is where you lean into the experience of your coachee.
To understand their situation, perceptions, and feelings from their point of view, and
to be able to communicate that understanding back to the other person.
Empathy creates a real connection between you and your client, it allows you to
resolve conflict, communicate more effectively, and raises your client’s confidence.
Before any big breakthrough for your clients, there is always a space filled with
empathy that you have to provide, so they can express and process their emotions.
Ways to be more empathetic in your coaching sessions

• Look at your client’s life through their lens, by the way they see and understand
life.
• Use words of reassurance and safety.
• Keep an open mind, non-judgmental.
• Allow spaces of silence, where you are just being there for the person, holding
the space.
Empathy:
• Allows you to understand your clients better, and allow you to ask better questions.
• It helps your client’s development.
• Understand diversity of perspectives.
• Bridges all gaps born from biases.
• You become more service-oriented.
Your Notes:
Action Steps
Set the intention to be more empathetic in your next conversation. Check-in with
yourself if you are being judgmental or open-minded and curious.

Awareness
Awareness is the ability to recognize your perspective not just in your experience, but
in how others see you as well. It’s about understanding your needs and desires, your
habits, and everything that makes you YOU.
Awareness is about knowing who you are and how you are perceived.
Awareness covers your needs, your desires, your habits, prominent emotions and
dominating thoughts.
Self-Awareness
Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths,

weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. This allows you to
understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude, and your responses
to them in the moment.
You need to understand your physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual being.
We capture experiences in time: This means that whatever happened to you as a

child, if you don’t identify it, it’s going to a ect the way you respond as an adult.
This is the importance of being aware of the beliefs and stories that you carry with
you, and then see if they are serving your growth or not.
As a coach, you not only need to teach your clients to be aware of what’s going on
inside of them, but you also have to be aware of your thoughts and emotions along
the way. You need to become aware of our biases—how you listen and what you
listen for, so you can be more present for your clients.
This will allow you to nd the right questions to ask, know when to stay silent,
recognize when your client is having an insight, know when to dig deeper into a
subject, and it allows the coaching session to ow.
How to help your clients be more aware- Slow them down
When you slow people down they are able to develop awareness. Awareness of who
they are, what they want, how they feel, and what they think. Only when they are
able to stop and be aware of what’s going on inside, is when true insights will arise,
giving way to changes in mindset and behavior.

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How to recognize when someone is being aware?
You will notice when your client’s awareness is emerging, when they suddenly stop
talking, become more re ective, look up, say words like “hmmm” or “now I see!” This is
when you leverage the insight and allow time for re ection in silence.
Here are some ways for you to increase your self-awareness:
1. Ask yourself:
• What are your strengths?
• What are your core values?
• What do you really love doing?
• What do you tend to avoid?
• What do you want to achieve in your life?
• What do you want to leave as a legacy?
• How do you tend to manage your emotions?. Big emotions like love, anger,
sadness, stress, happiness, etc
2. Take a personality test:

• Myers Briggs Personality Assessment: https://www.16personalities.com/free-
personality-test
• Principle You: https://principlesyou.com/assessments/pdp
• Wealth Dynamics: https://wealthdynamics.geniusu.com/
• For more spiritual people: https://www.dharmaarchetypequiz.com/
3. Take some time to journal

• Who are you?
• Who do you want to be?
• Why do you want to be that person?
• Where are you going in life?
• What are your needs?
• What are your desires?
• What are your goals?
4. Ask your friends and colleagues for feedback
You can use this template:
Hi (name of person)!
I am working on discovering my greatest strengths. You as my (friend/colleague),

have known me for (amount of time), and can help me get to know myself better.
I would really appreciate your help in this particular exercise.

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Knowing what you know about me, what do you think are the 3 reasons that you
would call upon me when you need help?
Can you highlight 2 or 3 things that you believe make me extraordinary? Those things
that you believe are my bigger strengths.
Thank you!
In your session:
Focus on your breath and the sensations in your body. Ask your client to do the same.
More tools to increase self-awareness:
What are your unique strengths?

Take the free strengths test here.
Do you love using your strengths?
What do you love doing?

What do you tend to avoid?
How do you deal with your emotions? Anger, happiness, love, sadness, etc
Action Steps
• Take one of the suggested tests to know yourself better, and ask your coachees
to do the same
• Journal about who you are, where you want to be, what is working for you now
and what’s stopping you
• Ask feedback from your colleagues & friends

Presence & Deep Listening
Presence
Presence is One's ability to be consciously aware to what is happening in the
moment
You are present to your client’s needs and emotions as well as yours. Connected to
your body, rooted in the moment.
How to be more present in your coaching sessions:

• Turn off your phone, laptop, and any other distracting device (ask your client to
do the same).
• Leave your personal life outside your coaching session.
• Make sure you schedule enough time to be fully present in your session.
• Start a meditation practice, where you allow yourself to just BE and not DO
anything.
• When you feel your mind wants to wander, focus on your breathing for a while. In
the sensation of your heart beating, and in different parts of your body. Allow
the experience to bring you to the present moment.
Deep Listening
Deep listening is when you are deeply engaged in the conversation. Listening for
insights, not for agreements.
Tips for becoming a better listener

• Allow times for silence so your client can digest their insights.
• Don’t try to be interesting, be interested in what your client says.
• Don’t worry about what to ask next, let the session flow. Don't race the
conversation.
• Invite your ego out of the equation! Remember the coaching process is not
about you, it’s about your client’s insights.
Your Notes:

Action Steps
• Take 10 minutes to observe your thinking

• Observe yourself in a conversation

Creating Trust
Trust is when someone feels physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually
safe with you.
Trusting someone means that you think they are reliable, you have confidence in
them and you feel safe with them physically and emotionally.
It allows people to feel at ease with each other, be open and vulnerable
It’s a key factor in change.
According to Psychology Today, when you trust someone the levels of oxytocin
circulating in your body increases. The more you trust someone the more your
oxytocin levels increase. This hormone is known as the “bonding hormone”, and it is
associated with intimacy.
How to build trust?

• Establish boundaries - Make sure the distinction between agreements (what you
said you would do) and expectations (what other people hope you would do) is
very clear.
• Do what you say- Be reliable. If you say you are going to do something, always stick
to your word. If you cancel plans or break promises, it will be hard for anyone to
trust you to be consistent and keep your word.
• Apologize when you make a mistake
• Be vulnerable - Share your stories and experiences openly. This invites your client to
do the same.
• Get comfortable with the uncomfortable - Be ready to ask the big questions if they
serve your client, no matter how uncomfortable they might feel.
• Have an unbiased opinion - Know that everyone is doing the best they can with the
resources they have
• Serve more- Help others every time you can. Kindness builds trust, and leaves your
ego out of the equation.Focus on the wins of your clients
Your Notes:

Action Steps
Think about 3 people that you really trust, and list the main reasons why you trust
them

Congruence
Congruence means having a consistent state of behavior.

This means that you actually do what you say, think and feel.
It increases trust, self-confidence and intrinsic motivation. Your decision-making

process becomes easier, and you start to attract people and situations that are in
line with your beliefs and values.
Congruence is of particular importance when you are working on behavioral change.
Building congruency:
1. Help your clients understand when they are being incongruent through questions,
and help them discover their own patterns.
2. Find what they want to be congruent to. What do they really want to create for
their life?
3. Help your clients take small steps.
Your Notes:

Action Steps
• Write down your values

• Re ect on how you be more congruent with your core values and the way you
show up in the world
What are your core values?
What values represent your primary way of being?
Below you will nd a list of words that may be seen as a value. Highlight the ones that
pop out for you. There may be 5-10-20 words that may represent your value.
Accountability Courage Harmony Passion
Adaptability Creativity Health Patience
Altruism Decisiveness Honesty Persistence
Assertiveness Dependability Honor Playfulness
Awareness Discipline Hope Purpose
Balance Drive Humility Realistic
Boldness E ciency Humor Respect
Calm Empathy Individuality Responsibility
Candor Enthusiasm Inspiring Security
Charity Equality Intelligence Self-reliance
Common sense Fairness Justice Sel ess
Compassion Fidelity Kindness Service
Con dence Freedom Logic Tolerance
Connection Fun Love Transparency
Consistency Generosity Loyalty Trustworthy
Conviction Gratitude Openness Understanding
Cooperation Happiness Optimism Unity

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Choose the values that resonate with you the most. Then chunk them into categories.
From each group, choose the value that represents what you believe in the most.
Come up with your top 6. Now compare them with each other. Say if you picked
honesty and courage. If you could only choose one, what would you choose honesty
or courage? Pick one. Go across all the words you chose until you settle with the final
three.
________________________________ ___________________________________
________________________________ ___________________________________
________________________________ ___________________________________

Choose your top 3 values
How can you be more congruent with your values and the way you show up in the
world?

Neutrality
Neutrality is the ability of not emitting judgment in a situation. It provides a safe

place for your client to express whatever comes up without judgment.
This is about seeing yourself as an external observer of the situation.
The only way you can really serve your client is when you can understand how they
see their inner world. This allows you to detach from the outcomes of your client, and
hold them accountable for their results. It also allows the best outcome to be
revealed for your client, not based on what you think or feel, but what they actually
know it’s best for them.
Neutrality provides the ability to view and experience a situation with a clear,
unbiased perspective. It saves you and your client energy spent in overthinking or
assuming.
How to be neutral in a coaching session
• You can take notes during your session, and later analyze if they triggered an
emotion. If they did, ask yourself what it is in your experience that caused that
trigger.
• Notice your breathing. If you’re holding your breath, you are probably not being
neutral, there might be a hidden trigger to your thoughts and emotion. If you notice
this, make small movements with your body and bring your awareness back to your
breath.
• Get curious. Ask powerful questions instead of assuming you know what the other
person thinks or feels.
• Listen deeply. Hear the message behind the words, understand what really matters
to your client without judgment.
If you feel like you can’t stay neutral with a particular client, consider letting them go,
so you can work on yourself. Not being neutral will not allow you to serve your client
as they deserve.
Your Notes:

Action Steps
Take some time to notice what is going on around you, just notice, without judgment.
Then reflect on how many times your brain tried to judge or label what was going on.

Powerful Questions
Powerful questions are provocative queries that create insights, help our clients get
past their limitations. Inspires thinking creatively, clearly and critically to help our
clients be a better version of themselves.
Powerful questions are the greatest tools for any coach.
A single powerful question holds the

power to virtually transform a client’s life completely.
They are the base of transformative coaching experiences for your clients. The only
way to help them create long-lasting change and achieve their wildest dreams.
What asking powerful questions does for your clients:
Asking questions instead of telling your clients what to do elevates the coaching
relationship.
They increase your client’s autonomy
Your client’s life is a product of their own choices. By asking powerful questions, you
invite them to re ect and elicit their own insights, help them make the choices they
want, and take charge of their destiny, instead of telling them what to do.
Questions evoke self-discovery, develop intrinsic motivation, increase con dence and
help people take action. Action that is congruent with their autonomy.
They support your client’s competence
People are completely capable of changing their own behavior. Your clients are
capable of coming up with their own solutions! Your job is to help them discover what
those solutions are, and support them in the realization that they CAN.
Powerful questions challenge your client’s assumptions about the world, they help
people think in di erent ways and rewire their brain, also discover new inner resources
that help them get to where they want to be.
As a coach, you don’t want to focus on your client’s problems or challenges, but
rather on how they perceive them. Once they have this understanding, they can
choose what they want to do about it.

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They help your clients connect what they’ve learned to their personal lives
Through powerful questions, we help our clients realize how everything is connected.
The way they think, how they manage their emotions, and what motivates them to
take action.
When you help your clients connect the dots through questions, they will be more
likely to work holistically to improve all areas of their life.
They bring clarity
Questions help your client’s clarify the way the think and the way they feel. They give
clarity on the why behind everything they do, and provide clarity on the action steps
they need to get to their goals.
They also bring to the surface their biggest challenges and obstacles to overcome, in
order to get to their ideal life.
They increase creativity
Most people never question their status quo. It’s when you ask powerful questions
that your clients are able to nd new ways of considering a situation, of getting a
new fresh perspective, and nding an innovative solution to their problems.
As Einstein wisely said: “You can't solve a problem with the same thinking that
created it”. Powerful questions elevate the way we think, increases our curiosity to
nd new answers, and provides new ways to think about a challenge.
They help you get to know your client to the core
Most people will not disclose everything that they are just by sitting in front of you in a
coaching session.
Through questions, you’ll be able to really get to know your client, understand how
they think, why they behave the way the do, what really matters to them, and the
best ways that you can support their progress.
They let your client know that you believe in them
By asking questions instead of giving the answers to your clients, you are helping
them grow their con dence by helping them choose the reality that they want to
create, in their own terms.

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They help your client know that you trust them to take ownership of their personal
projects, of their dreams and of getting the life that they desire.
2 Basic tips about questions:
• Ask only one question at a time and wait in silence for the answer. Allow space
for your client to get an insight.
• You will know you have formulated a powerful question when your client stops to
re ect. They might even look up while doing that.
Types of questions
1. Open questions:
• They cannot be answered with a "yes" or "no" response.

• They encourage a deeper discussion.
• They require a person to pause, think, and re ect.
• Open-ended questions or statements begin with the following words: what, where,
who, when and how. They should all lead to an answer that requires re ection and
elicit insight.
WHAT? – This is a great way to open up conversations and start to draw out
important information from the client’s way of seeing the world. It begins to raise their
awareness
WHERE? - This is a way to help the client locate the origin of a problem or challenge,
and see new opportunities to apply new ways of thinking, new behaviors and skills.
WHO? - Provides relatability to their problem or challenge. Invites them to look for
models that they can follow or seek support from.
WHEN? - It invites to analyze the time of origin of a problem or challenge as well as
de ne the time to take steps forward and take action.
HOW? – This invites them to think about the ways they can implement their ideas or
suggestions around a problem or challenge with speci c actions. Avoids
procrastination and fear, and creates new solutions based on con dence and
possibility.
For example:
• Where did you learn that?
• When did you see that happening for the rst time?
• What does that mean for you?
• Who does that person represent for you?
• How are you going to create a strategy to solve this problem?
2. Probing questions
• Used for gaining clari cation.

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• Also to gather more information about something (Explore deeper into the meaning
of someone’s thought).
• It invites deeper re ection on a subject and nding ways to move forward through
action.
For example:
• How does this relate to what you just said?
• What did you mean by that?
• Is there an option that you have not yet considered?
• What are your options for solving the problem?
3. Hypothetical questions
They invite the client to consider an alternate scenario, creating more options when
they are stuck.
For example:
• Imagine you got that promotion at work, how would that change…?
• If you were able to purchase the house of your dreams, what would be di erent for
you?
• What would happen if…?
4. Funneling questions:
This technique involves starting with general questions, and then drilling down to a
more speci c point in each. Usually, this will involve asking for more and more details
at each level. You can use them when you need to dig deeper on a particular
subject.
For example:
• What is the behavior you want to modify?
• When did you start that behavior?
• Who did you see showing that behavior?
• What meaning did you give at the time?
• What new meaning can you give?
• What is the rst step you will take to move forward?
5. Paraphrasing
• Here you re ect back what your client just said, so they can re ect if that is really
true for them.

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• These types of questions also allow you to make sure you understand what the
client is trying to say.
For example:
• Client: “I can’t do that because I have no time”
• Coach: Let me see if I heard you correctly, you say you have no time to do that
task?
What to avoid when asking questions

#1. Ask Closed-ended Questions:
These are questions who can be typically answered with a “yes” or “no”, and as their
name implies, they close up the conversation between you and your client, along with
the possibility to expand on their thinking and introspection.
Without these elements, there is no way for them to get insights.
Closed questions also lead the answer that your client will give based on your own
assumptions, taking away their autonomy.
For example:
Your client wants to reconnect with his father
1. Does the decision you just made to call your estranged father make you feel good?
You can reframe it for something like this:

How do you think speaking with your father make you feel?
What do you expect to feel after speaking with your father?
Your client wants to feel more balance between his life and
2. Is nding work-life balance important for you?

What does balance look and feel to you?
How can you create more balance between your personal life and your work life?
#2. O er advice in disguise

I know that sometimes when having a conversation with a client, you might see the
best solution for them. The answer to their challenge might be on the tip of your
tongue. You have the best solution!
But wait. STOP.

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Remember that the only way for your client to get an insight that support their
autonomy and raises their intrinsic motivation is by getting to the solutions
themselves. You can give them a solution yes, but it will not be their solution, so it will
not work for them in the long run.
For example:
The client wants to increase their client list.
1. Have you thought about writing a blog about productivity to increase your client
list?

What are three options that you have considered to help you increase your client list?
The client wants to sleep better at night

2. Have you ever tried lavender tea to help you sleep better?

What do you think are some ways that you can incorporate in your daily routine to
help you sleep better?
#3. Asking questions without a clear direction or objective

This happens when the coach is so eager to help the client get to an answer, that
they keep asking random questions, without giving the client an actual space to
answer any of them.
This leaves your client feeling confused, and the conversation ow is lost.
For example:
Your client wants to get healthier
Coach: What physical activities have you considered?
Client: I enjoy walking outdoors, and I am nding out about gyms.
Coach: Have you tried meditating? Or seeing a holistic nutritionist?
Client: Well, not yet…
Coach: How can you design a strategy for your overall health?
Client: I still haven’t thought about the whole strategy
First stop, breathe, think, and then start with a question that opens up the
conversation. Then you let the conversation guide what you ask next.
For example:
Coach: What does being healthy mean for you?
Client: It means I feel good overall, I can sleep good at night and have sustained
energy throughout the day.

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Coach: What are some routines that you can incorporate in your daily habits to help
you feel good?
Client: I can go back to exercising in the mornings.
Coach: How would that look like for you?
Client: I enjoy walking outside in the morning, for at least 20 minutes, it helps me clear
my mind.
#4. Not allowing spaces for insight

One of the biggest mistakes that new coaches make is trying to ll every minute of
the conversation with questions. They think that when there is a space of silence it
means that they are not doing a good job as a coach, and they must formulate the
next question.
When the opposite is true! When a client is re ecting on an insight, silence is just
what they need to incorporate that new insight into their reality.
Silence is the best path to do so.
#5. Inserting your own assumptions

Here is when your client is expressing something that is going on in their world, and
you use your own world view as a lter to go deeper, incorporating your personal
assumptions in the process.
Remember that your role as a coach is to discover how your client sees their own
world, not to impose the way you do.
Staying neutral and objective in a coaching conversation is key.
Use the words that they use to describe their situation, not your own assumptions of
what they mean to say.
For example:
Your client comes upset to your session. They are having a challenge at work.
Client: I am feeling frustrated in my current role as a customer service agent.
Coach: Have you considered looking for a new role that you don’t hate?
Client: I never said I hated my job, I just feel frustrated!
What you can do instead:

Client: I am feeling frustrated in my current role as a customer service agent.
Coach: What is happening that makes you feel frustrated?
Client: I am having an issue with a co-worker. I feel like I do all the work, and then he
takes all the credit.
Coach: Tell me more about that.

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#6. To interrupt or not interrupt?
As a coach, you know that you should create a safe space for your client to express
the way they see their world, and voice out their challenges.
New coaches make the mistake of interrupting the client in the middle of an idea,
while others allow their clients to over-extend in rambling that don’t help them get to
any point.
But how do you know when to interrupt?
If you asked a question, and your client is silent for a bit, you don’t want to interrupt,
as they are probably re ecting on an insight and this is huge for them.
Also don’t interrupt when they are answering to a question that is relevant for the
goal of your conversation (If the answer is leading to a point of discovery).
If you feel like interrupting when it’s not the right time, or feel like talking over your
client, you can place your tongue on the roof of your mouth to remind you to give
time to your client to think and elaborate.
On the other hand, if your client starts to talk about a subject that veers o the
conversation away from the session’s objective, and it doesn’t add any value to their
self-discovery, or goals, you can redirect back the conversation. You are the leader of
the session!
You can say something like

As we were discussing X, I heard you say …, tell me more about that.
I appreciate that you want to share more about X, but I would love to go back to the
previous subject we were discussing, so we can make the most of our time today.
#7. The challenging WHY

While our intention when asking questions is to nd out more about what is going on
in our client’s life, the words that we choose have an impact in the way our clients
perceive and respond.
When you ask questions that start with What, Where, Who, When, or How, you invite
your clients for exploration. These questions refer to the situation or thoughts.
On the other hand, when you start a question with Why, it might make your client feel
uncomfortable and judged. Why questions the person, and they might feel judged.

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Feel it yourself!
• Why did you quit your job? (judging) vs What lead you to quit your job? (exploring)
• Why did you skip going to the gym this week? (judging) vs How dod you feel this
week without exercising? (exploring)
• Why haven’t you had the important conversation with your spouse yet? (judging) vs
When are you planning to have the important conversation with your spouse?
(exploring)
Your Notes:

Boundaries & Agreements
Boundaries and agreements might feel a little scary at first, because they have to be
predefined before you start the coaching relationship, but any experienced coach
will know that boundaries and agreements are a key pillar to developing a respectful
relationship.
Boundaries create a safe place for coachees to explore. They expand the limitations
of the relationship. They also define your coaching relationship.
Agreements are terms of agreement in the coaching relationship.
They are key to keep long-term healthy coaching relationships, because they protect
your energy and your time.
When you are setting boundaries, you have to be clear on what’s OK, and what is not
OK.
Define your boundaries & Agreements in your first session
• Some of the boundaries you have to set up with your clients before beginning any
professional relationship are:
1. Business is business - No mixing with romantic relationships.
2. Respect of time - What is your policy on tardiness or cancellations? How will you
receive your client’s calls?
3. Payments - How will you receive payments?
4. Refunds- What is your policy on refunds?
5. Expectations - What do you expect from your client, and what can your client
expect from you?
Your Notes:

Action Steps
Re ect and de ne your own boundaries

*You will nd the Coaching Agreement Template inside your quest
Coaching Agreement
Why is a coaching agreement important? - Not only establishes the details of your
coaching relationship, but also covers all the legal elements (payments, termination
policies, guarantees, results).
What information should it have?
Coaching relationship:
• Your client’s full information (phone, e-mail, contact number, etc) and your contact
information.
• What are the agreements and expectations from the coach and from the client?
(con dentiality agreement, desired outcomes, etc) *Your client must be
accountable for taking action.
• How is the communication going to happen between sessions? (will you have a
schedule to attend out-of-session inquiries? Will you answer Whatsapp, etc?)
• What are your policies around rescheduling and cancelling sessions?
• What are the ethical guidelines to be followed (by the coach and the client).
Services:
• Explanation of what the coaching process is about (creating insights) and what the
consulting process looks like (more strategic).
• Detailed description of what you will be providing for the client: What are they
paying you for?
• How will you measure success?
Time and place:

• How long is the relationship going to be? (start and ending date).
• When are you meeting? What is the frequency of the sessions?
• Where are you meeting?
• Times for the meetings and punctuality.
• Length of the sessions?
• How are you meeting? (virtual, physical or both)
Commitment:
• What behaviors and actions are expected from the client in order to make the
relationship successful? The willingness of the client to re ect, change, evolve and
act
• What is expected from the coach?

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Payments:
• How much is the investment for the coaching services offered in the contract?
• How and when you expect payment?
• Do you offer payment plans?
• Which payment options do you offer? (credit card, transfer, Paypal, etc)
• Refund policy: Set clear terms around if and when you offer a refund.
Termination:
• What can terminate the relationship? For example: the client misses X sessions or is
late, the client overstepped the boundaries, the client is not paying as agreed, the
coach overstepped his boundaries, there was a breach in the confidentiality
agreement, the coach is not delivering the expected results, etc.
Disclaimer: Coaching is not a substitute for therapy. If the client has special needs
outside your scope of practice, he must be open to seek professional advice.
Reflect on your boundaries & Agreements

*You can find a coaching agreement template inside your quest as well
Regarding time, payments, refunds and the scope of your coaching relationship:
What are your non-negotiables?
What are the boundaries that you are going to set up for your clients?

Contact information
*All information is strictly con dential
Client information
Full Name How you prefer to be addressed
Home O ce Mobile Other
E-mail Emergency contact
Preferred way to be contacted Best time to be contacted
Work Information
Occupation:
Company
Company’s address
Work e-mail
Coach information
Full Name E-mail
O ce Mobile
Preferred way to be contacted Best time to be contacted

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Coaching Agreement
Client Name: ______________________________________________________________
“This agreement, between coach _______________________ and the above Named
client will begin on _________________ and will continue for a period of ___________
months ending on _____________________.”
1. As a client, I understand and agree that I am fully responsible for my physical,

mental and emotional well-being during my coaching calls, including my choices
and decisions. I am aware that I can choose to discontinue coaching at any time.
2. I understand that “coaching” is a Professional-Client relationship I have with my

coach that is designed to facilitate the creation/development of personal,
professional or business goals and to develop and carry out a strategy/plan for
achieving those goals.
3. I understand that coaching is a comprehensive process that may involve all areas
of my life, including work, nances, health, relationships, education and
recreation. I acknowledge that deciding how to handle these issues, incorporate
coaching into those areas, and implement my choices is exclusively my
responsibility.
4. I understand that coaching does not involve the diagnosis or treatment of

mental disorders as de ned by the American Psychiatric Association. I understand
that coaching is not a substitute for counseling, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis,
mental health care or substance abuse treatment and I will not use it in place of
any form of diagnosis, treatment or therapy.
5. I promise that if I am currently in therapy or otherwise under the care of a mental

health professional, that I have consulted with the mental health care provider
regarding the advisability of working with a coach and that this person is aware
of my decision to proceed with the coaching relationship.
6. I understand that information will be held as con dential unless I state otherwise,
in writing, except as required by law.
7. I understand that certain topics may be anonymously and hypothetically shared

with other coaching professionals for training OR consultation purposes.
8. I understand that coaching is not to be used as a substitute for professional

advice by legal, medical, nancial, business, spiritual or other quali ed

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professionals. I will seek independent professional guidance for legal, medical,
nancial, business, spiritual or other matters. I understand that all decisions in
these areas are exclusively mine and I acknowledge that my decisions and my
actions regarding them are my sole responsibility.
Fees: All fees are paid for in full, unless speci ed by the prior agreement.
This is a coaching package for a period of _______ months including _________
sessions per month.
Additional appointments can be scheduled as needed. If you need to reschedule an

appointment, please provide at least 24 hour's notice. These fees will be paid in
advance.
Services:
The services to be provided by the coach to the client are face-to-face or zoom/
Skype-coaching, as agreed jointly with the client. Coaching may address speci c
personal projects, business successes, or general conditions in the client's life or
profession.
Other coaching services include value clari cation, brainstorming, identifying plans of
action, examining modes of operating in life, asking clarifying questions, and making
empowering requests or suggestions for action. Throughout the working relationship,
the coach will engage in direct and personal conversations.
The client understands that successful coaching requires a co-active collaborative

approach between client and coach. In the coaching relationship, the coach plays
the role of a facilitator of change, but it is the client's responsibility to enact or bring
about the change. If the client believes the coaching is not working as desired, the
client will communicate and take action to return the power to the coaching
relationship.
Prior History:
The client also agrees to disclose details of the past or present psychological or
psychiatric treatment. In entering into the coaching relationship, and signing the
agreement, you are agreeing that if any mental health di culties arise during the
course of the coaching relationship, you will notify me immediately so that I can
discuss with you appropriate steps and if any additional referrals are needed.
Privacy:
The client can, at any point in the coaching session, declare his/her preference not to
discuss a speci c issue, by simply stating that they would rather not discuss this issue.
The coach agrees to respect this boundary and will not attempt to forward the
conversation further along those lines.

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Con dentiality:
All information about the coach / client relationship will remain strictly con dential
except in very rare circumstances where decreed by law; ie. where the court might
issue a subpoena for the le or information.
If you wish for me as your coach to speak to someone outside our interactions, then
you need to give me written permission (original letter, fax or email) to do so.
Exceptions to con dentiality of course relate to circumstances such as intent to
seriously harm someone, child abuse etc. Otherwise, all your information is
con dential.
It is also important to note that in some situations, it is important to be aware of the

use of technology in that for some clients, there is a risk in using certain media such
as the internet, mobile phones and cordless phones. If you use these to communicate
with me, then I will assume that it is appropriate to continue to do so in my
interactions with you.
Termination
Coaching under the terms and aforementioned agreements will continue for the
duration of the contracted period. Only under extenuating circumstance can our
coaching agreement be postponed up to 6 months of the said agreement.
Our signatures on this agreement indicate full understanding of an agreement with

the information outlined above.
____________________________ ____________________________
Coaching Client Coach
___________________________
Date

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The Structure of a Coaching Session
Even though all coaching sessions will be different (based on your client’s needs)
there is a certain structure that most of them follow.
1. Rapport
2. Defining a clear goal
3. Coaching
4. Action steps
1. Rapport is all about creating a connection with your client. In the first session, you
might take 15 minutes to build this rapport. In the following session, you still want to
invest at least 5 minutes in it.
This will help your clients go from thinking about a problem to a better, more positive
state
2. Goal setting is setting an intention for the coaching session. What would they like
the session's outcome to be? Is there something on their mind?
3. Then comes Coaching
4. Lastly is action. Change starts at the coaching session but really happens with
consistent action.
*You will find the pre-session & post-session forms inside your quest
Your Notes:

Pre-Session Form
Preparing for the coaching session will allow us to optimize your results and our time
together. Please answer the following questions:
1. How was your week?
2. What do you want to get out of our session?
3. What actions did you take after our last session?
4. What were your wins & challenges?

5. What do you want to be held accountable for?
6. What issues do you want to deepen in our session today?
7. What else?

Post-session survey
What was your biggest insight after our session?
What are the actions you committed to take?
How are you going to take action?
How will you keep yourself accountable?

Was there something that you wanted to say or bring up during our session, but
didn’t?

Goals and Action Plans
Clients will hire you as a coach to either help them solve a challenge or ful ll a goal.
We can’t create goals based on what has worked for others. We have to create
goals based on what WE want to create.
Fundamental principles to set goals:
I have found three basic elements that separate common goals from outstanding
ones: PASSION + PURPOSE + PRACTICALITY
Passion: This is your driver, the "voice of your soul", and it evolves over the time of your
journey. But passion is only going to take you so far. This is where purpose comes in.
Purpose: This IS your compass, it's what gets you up in the morning and do what you
do each day. It is your higher vision - your ultimate WHY. It is essentially the world you
wish to live in. Your ideal.
However, if you want to be more than a one-hit-wonder, if you want to be here for
the long haul - you need one more thing in addition to passion and purpose. And
that is practicality.
Practicality: This covers your systems, your tools, and your power. It’s pragmatic, and
logical. A goal can be achieved if the right resources and strategy is put into it.
Two models to create goals
1. The 3 Most Important Questions: You can see the full video here
2. The AWESOME model of setting goals
This is one of the most e ective tools I have found when it comes to setting e ective
goals and creating results, both in my personal life and my business. This is designed
to keep your commitment going for long periods of time, building your motivation and
creating the needed actions you need.
The AWESOME model has 7 elements to ensure that you can turn your vision into your
reality:
• Ambition: This is about focusing on the future. On the ideal reality that you want to
create.
• Why: Your why will fuel your motivation and help you overcome any obstacle along
the way to your goal.

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• Executable: Your goal has to be big enough that makes you feel excited, but not
too big as to paralyze you with fear.
• Specific: Do I understand all the elements that make up my goal, so I know how to
measure if I'm on the right track?
• Objective: You have clarity on what are the steps you need to take to move
towards your goal.
• Measurable: You have to have ways to measure your progress on a monthly basis,
to know where you stand.
• Expiration: Your goal has to have an expiring timeline, because a deadline will
naturally move you into action.
Your Notes:
Action Steps
• Write down your own goals
• Set up an action plan using the HAAM approach for the next 3 to 6 months
The AWESOME model of setting goals
1. Ambition: This is about focusing on the future. On the ideal reality that you want
to create.
2. Why: Your why will fuel your motivation and help you overcome any obstacle
along the way to your goal.
3. Executable: Your goal has to be big enough that makes you feel excited, but not
too big as to paralyze you with fear.
4. Specific: Do I understand all the elements that make up my goal, so I know how to
measure if I'm on the right track?
5. Objective: You have clarity on what are the steps you need to take to move
towards your goal.
6. Measurable: You have to have ways to measure your progress on a monthly basis,
to know where you stand.

7. Expiration: Your goal has to have an expiring timeline, because a deadline will
naturally move you into action.
What is the big vision you have for your life for the next 5 years?
What do you want to create in these different areas of your life?
Health & wellbeing
Important relationships
Growth & development

Career & professional life
Finances

Now take your Big Vision from the last exercise, and let's start organizing your goals
based on the AWESOME model:
Repeat this for each area of life:
Health & wellbeing
Ambition: What do want? Why it matters to me Executable: Exciting & doable
Speci c & Objective: What do Measurable: How will I Expiration: By when do I want
I need to move towards my measure my progress every to achieve my goal?
goal? month?
goal? month?

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Growth & Development
goal? month?
Career & Professional life
goal? month?

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Finances
goal? month?
The HAAM approach to move towards your goals:
Now that you are clear on what goals you want, why they are important for you, how
to know if you are moving in the right direction towards your goals, how to measure
them, and the timeline they have, it's time for you to create an ecosystem that keep
the momentum going for a long period of time until you achieve your desired results.
• Habits: These are pre-existing habits that you have and want to build on, or
new habits that you slowly incorporate into your routine. They have to be easy to
achieve, and you develop them over time. It takes from 7-63 days to incorporate
a new habit.
• Accountability: You need internal or external accountability to keep you on
track towards your goals throughout the year.
• Achievement & rewards: You should celebrate each milestone that moves you
towards your goal and gives you a sense of achievement. Gamify your process!
Incorporate gifts and rewards that you can give yourself along the way.
• Motivation triggers: Find what motivates you to go forward, and make space in
your life to incorporate those triggers.

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What are the habits you need to have in place to reach your goals in the different
areas of life?
Health & wellbeing
Growth & Development
Career & Professional life

Finances
How will you hold yourself accountable?
How will you celebrate your milestones?
What motivates you?

Nurturing the Coaching Relationship
When you start a coaching relationship, focus on building it for the long-term. This
changes the way you approach your clients.
See yourself as a partner in your client’s lives, and help them create their future.
Ask yourself: What can you do right now to invest in that relationship?
You have to think about this investment like the stock market. Every little investment
you do will compound in gains for your clients over time.
This will make you more service-oriented, and help you focus on the ways to make
your clients win.
There is no reason why a client shouldn’t re-engage with you.
Anybody that works with us as a client should feel compelled to keep working with us
if we did our job right. If you demonstrate your value, then your clients will want to re-
engage with you.
It is harder to get a new client than to nurture an ongoing relationship. It takes 10

times more effort to find a new client, than to keep a client
Our long-term clients will make our best referrals!
After they experience the results from working with you, they will easily refer you to
your ideal clients.
How to nurture a coaching relationship

Serve more!
Some ways for you to do this are:

• Give them extra time in your sessions
• Create an intensive that will help them get a result much faster
• Send them a gift to celebrate their wins
• Record a meditation for them to relax
• Gift them a book about something they find interesting
Your Notes:

Action Steps
Reflect on the ways you can create client astonishment

Personal Accountability and Follow up
Since there will be a space between coaching sessions, you have to reflect about
what happens between the coaching sessions for your clients.
How will they keep the momentum going?

How are they going to keep themselves accountable for the actions they said they
would take?
How will they keep their motivation up?
Invite your coachees to write down the outcomes of the session and follow-through
actions they will take after the session.
It’s also important for you to give them tools they can use between sessions, and set
ways for your clients to reach out to you in case of emergency (be really clear about
this in your boundaries!)
Your Notes:
Action Steps
Think about some ways you can help your clients be more self-accountable between
sessions.

Tools to help your clients be more accountable
Journal:
Keeping a journal where your clients can record their goals, their emotions, the steps
they are taking forward and the challenges they are facing along the way, help them
be more accountable.
You can discuss your clients insights in your next session.
Set an accountability system:

Setting up their own accountability system will help them have ongoing support in
their process. It can be having one friend by their side, or they can choose to have a
group that supports them.
What your client needs to do is nd what works best for them, and then create the
accountability system that is highly compromised with their success.
Have your client share their intention publicly

When someone shares their big goal or dream with the world, it creates a sort of
personal responsibility. Going public increases accountability, because what your
client wants will no longer stay with them, it will be a shared goal.
This is also a great way for them to encourage sharing their progress, which increases
motivation, or nd support from others when they feel stuck.
Design a reward system:

Have your client think about their goals like a game. Then have them set clear
milestones they wish to attain in the process. Once this is clear, ask them to think
about the rewards they can give themselves after each milestone.
Gami cation makes every process more fun and sustainable through time. Getting a
reward will motivate your clients to keep moving forward.
Use technology
We can nd all sorts of interesting gadgets inside our smartphones that will help us
stay accountable for what we want to create. Ask your client to nd apps that will
help them get closer to their goal, for example Stickk (www.stickk.com) or Beeminder
(https://www.beeminder.com/)

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Coaching for Challenges and Coaching for Growth
When a person comes to you for coaching, they usually come for 2 reasons:
1. They have a challenge they want to overcome or
2. They want to grow. They might come with a goal in mind, something that they
want to achieve.
Sometimes your client may not have the awareness of what their challenge is, or how
they want to grow.
This is why you should focus your rst coaching sessions in getting clear what your
client really needs or wants.
As a coach, you will help them get clear on what that ideal outcome is, but as you go
deeper in your coaching sessions, you will nd that often your clients haven’t
achieved their goals because there is a challenge that they haven’t been able to
overcome.
Most of the time, there is something that your client needs to develop within
themselves in order to overcome their challenge.
Here are some questions that will help you in your coaching sessions:
For Challenges
• What is the real challenge here for you?

• What do you feel is your greatest challenge in this situation?
• What do you need in order to overcome this challenge? What do you have right
now in your life that can help?
• Who do you need help from to make this happen? What kind of help do you
need?
• What do you need to learn to help you overcome your challenge? Who do you
need to be?
• Why is solving this challenge important for you? What is the ultimate outcome
that you want to get after solving this challenge?
For Growth
• What is the experience of life you would want for yourself?

• What is success for you?
• What is the small step you can take towards this big dream?
• If you were to de ne your values across these areas of life, what would those be?
• What is your purpose?

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Your Notes:

Coaching Through Thinking
Our experience of life is viewed through the way we think.
An event happens, that originates a thought, which has no emotional attachment to

it. It’s just a fact.
Then the thought translates into thinking, which is formed by your perception of the
world and infused with emotions.
It’s not just what happens to us during an experience but what we think happens.
How we choose to think de nes what happens in our experience.
We need to understand what is happening around us and why so we can better

judge the e ect it might have on our lives
Our default thinking is the way we usually choose to think, and we tend to choose
what is “safe” (what we know from experience).
We have a hard-wired meaning-making mechanism that creates meaning and

beliefs to protect ourselves from perceived danger (for survival).
If we move away from perceived threat, it keeps us "safe", but also takes us away
from growth.
This is why we want to invite our clients to see their thoughts as something that
happens, without any added emotions or meaning.
Meaning exists only in our minds.
Meaning is created unconsciously & automatically, and most of us can’t tell the
di erence between a real event or an imaginary one. We believe it is true
Process to change your thinking
Part 1. Bring attention towards your thinking
This allows us to rst build an understanding of where you are operating from. Of
what your reality looks like. What you assume to be true about your problem.
Questions to ask
• What exactly do I think?
• Why do I think this way?

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• What does this mean for me?
• What do I already know about this?
• What do I think is the main issue with this?
Part 2. Challenge your Assumptions
This creates the dialogue against the otherwise assumed truth, that may have
originated from the past.
Here we identify and de ne what we assume to be true about the problem
Questions to ask:
• Why do I think this way?
• Is this true and can I validate it? How can I verify the truth of this?
• How did I come up with these assumptions, or did I learn them from someone
else?
• How can I be sure these assumptions are true?
• What if I’m wrong?
• How can I back this up?
• What are the consequences of that belief?
• How does this a ect me and others?
• Could that really happen or probably happen?
• If that happened, what else would happen as a result? Why?
• What is an alternative way to look at that?
• Is there any reason to doubt that belief?
• What other information do I need?
Part 3. Consider alternate options

Invite yourself to think outside your limiting beliefs. See yourself like a movie, a third
party observer
Questions to ask:
• What is an alternate theory/story/viewpoint for the way I perceive this
challenge?
• Can I explain it another way?
• What would happen if I change this assumption?
• What would happen if I thought the opposite?
• What is another way to look at it?
Part 4. Choose the most empowering thoughts
You always have the power to choose how you want to think and feel about any
situation. No one else can choose for you
Questions to ask:
• From the possible scenarios I reviewed, which is the most empowering story?

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• What is the story that will lift me up? BOTH are stories and it’s our choice to pick
the one we want
You are in control of your thinking! And you need to constantly check in with your
thoughts in order to create the reality that you want. Your stories can empower you or
hurt you.
*You will find more tools to help your clients get into a positive state inside your quest
Your Notes:
Action Steps
Observe your thinking. What are you choosing? What is an alternate way of thinking?

Coaching Through Emotions
Our emotions are a natural response to what's happening around us. They are the
way we relate to the world around us, and build meaning about our human
experience.
When we are experiencing a strong emotion, it can overtake our thinking. Emotions
are powerful, and act as our inner "GPS"
This is why it’s important to develop Emotional Intelligence & Resilience.
How emotions get created

1. An event happens
2. That triggers an emotion
Once you understand what triggers the emotional response from you, you can try to
regulate those triggers
How to regulate your emotions

1. Rewire your thinking around the triggering events
2. Emotional dissociation - Get to understand your emotions and triggers, watching
yourself as a third party. This helps you take a more rational approach, and be
open to understand the situation and the other people involved in the event
much better.
Long-term benefits to building emotional intelligence for our coachees

1. Increases self-awareness
2. Promotes self-management
3. Increases social awareness
4. Improves your relationship management
*You will find Additional Tools for Emotional Management inside your quest
Your Notes:

Action Steps
Observe your emotions today, and label them. Then find what triggered them, and
ask yourself what is the most empowered response you can choose

Coaching Through Behaviors and Habits
When we do anything for the rst time, our brains work at full capacity in order to
make sense of all the information. But after a few times of doing the same thing, our
brain memorizes these behaviors and runs them automatically in the form of patterns
or feedback loops.
This is the base of how we form habits.
Habits exist because our brain is constantly looking for ways to reduce e ort and
increase e ciency.
Habits operate as feedback loops that grow stronger with time.
Changing a habit
Our brain has the ability to change and grow (Neuroplasticity)

To change a habit we have to change our patterns on a daily basis, until our mind
incorporates the new behaviors and creates a habit.
Habits give us certainty & security, reduce mental e ort and create mental e ciency.
How Habits are formed:

James Clear, best-selling author of Atomic Habits talks about the 4 stages of
building a habit
1. CUE: At the start of a behavior, to deal with uncertainty, the brain spends a lot of
mental e ort looking for something that can serve as a cue - a signal that o ers a
hint of which pattern or habit to use. The cue triggers our brain to start a behavior, it
also predicts the reward we will get from the behavior, and this naturally leads to a
craving.
2. CRAVING: Cravings are the motivational force behind why we do what we do

(habits), it is what moves us into taking action and closer to our reward.
The thoughts, feelings, and emotions of the observer are what transform a cue into a
craving.
3. RESPONSE: The response is the actual habit you do, and it can be expressed in
thoughts or actions. It depends on your motivation and the amount of e ort it takes.
It also depends on your skills and abilities. If you set a task that you don’t have the
resources to achieve, you won’t do it (this is why taking small easy steps is key!)
And at the end of each response, there is an expected reward.

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4. REWARD:
The reward is the end goal of every habit
The cue is about noticing the reward.
The craving is about wanting the reward.
The response is about obtaining the reward.
Rewards serve two purposes: Satisfaction (they relief our craving) and learning (we
learn what actions work for us for the future).
How to change habits

1. Bring awareness to the habit
2. Show them how the habit is formed
3. Find the motivation behind changing the habit
4. Find a replacing habit
5. Define daily progressive action
6. Make change easy to implement
7. Find a reward for the new behavior
8. Start with small incremental changes
Identity-based change
You embody the person you want to become before making changes.
Questions to help your clients incorporate identity-based change

• How long do you want to live?
• Why do you feel you will live until that age?
• How would you like your older-self to look & be like?
• Do you think this ideal self can live longer than what you thought?
*You will find Additional Tools for Behavioral Change inside your quest
Your Notes:

Action Steps
• Write down some of the habits you want to change, and what is the new
identity you want to incorporate in context of those habits
• What are the small steps you are going to take on a daily basis?
• How will you self-reflect on your progress?

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Certi ed Life Coach Page 1 of 73

The Coaching Principles 5

Presence & Deep Listening 20

Boundaries & Agreements 39

Coaching agreement template 42

The Structure of a Coaching Session 46

Goals and Action Plans 51

Nurturing the Coaching Relationship 60

Personal Accountability and Follow up 62

Coaching for Challenges and Coaching for Growth 64

Coaching Through Thinking 66

Coaching Through Emotions 69

Coaching Through Behaviors and Habits 71

Certi ed Life Coach Page 2 of 73

“Coaching is unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance. It is

Coaching is not about hours, it’s about results.

As a coach, you always have to keep growing and learning.

What you will learn over the next 4 weeks

Certi ed Life Coach Page 3 of 73

Then on week 4 you will learn Coaching in Works:

Certi ed Life Coach Page 4 of 73

When technique fails, these principles will guide you through.

Empathy: is the ability to understand the thoughts, feelings or emotions of someone

Congruence: Congruence means having a consistent state of behavior. You do what

Certified Life Coach Page 5 of 73

Rate yourself on the level of understanding of each principle.

The Coaching Principles rating sheet

Coaching Principle Rating

Certified Life Coach Page 6 of 73

How to create rapport with a new client

• Who are you meeting?

How to build rapport in a coaching session?

Certi ed Life Coach Page 7 of 73

Certified Life Coach Page 8 of 73

___________________________ Postal code: ________________________________

Phone: ___________________________ Mobile: ______________________________

Answer each of these questions as clearly and thoughtfully as possible, expressing

2. What are the main goals you want to work on?

Certified Life Coach Page 9 of 73

4. What do you want most from your career / job?

5. What skills or knowledge would you like to develop?

6. How do your career goals support your personal goals?

Certified Life Coach Page 10 of 73

9. What are you most passionate about?

Certified Life Coach Page 11 of 73

12. What do you do when you feel pressure, anxiety, or stress?

Certified Life Coach Page 12 of 73

15. Who are the most significant people in your life?

Certified Life Coach Page 13 of 73

18. Is there anything else you want me to know about you?

19. . What is your Love Language? 5lovelanguages.com

20. What is your Myers-Briggs? 16personalities.com

Certified Life Coach Page 14 of 73

Ways to be more empathetic in your coaching sessions

Certified Life Coach Page 15 of 73

Self Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths,

We capture experiences in time: This means that whatever happened to you as a

How to help your clients be more aware- Slow them down

Certi ed Life Coach Page 16 of 73

Here are some ways for you to increase your self-awareness:

2. Take a personality test:

3. Take some time to journal

4. Ask your friends and colleagues for feedback

_ Postal code: ______

Phone: _ Mobile: ____