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HANNAH GRACE

ICE BREAKER
Icebreaker

PASSION
SELECTIONBy Hannah Grace
The original title of the work: Icebreaker

Translated by: Orsolya Sujer

Editor: Gyöngyi Vajna

Language proofreader: Sára Valuska
Technical editor: Edit Daróczi

© Hannah Grace
© Orsolya Sujer
© Maxim Könyvkiadó Kft.

The publication was made with the permission of the author.

Cover illustration: Leni Kauffman

ISSN 2676-9875
ISBN 978 963 499 689 7 (paperback), publisher code: MX-1727

Published by: Maxim Könyvkiadó Kft.

Address: 6728 Szeged, Kollégiumi út 11/H; Phone: (62) 548-444
e-mail: info@maxim.co.hu, web: www.maximkiado.hu
Responsible publisher: Norbert Puskás
Printing house: Generál Nyomda Kft., responsible manager: Ágnes Hunya

All rights reserved, including reproduction, the work expanded or

also the right to publish an abridged version. Without the written
permission of the publisher
neither the whole work nor any part of it in any form – even
electronically or mechanically, including photocopying and any
data storage - cannot be duplicated.To Erin, Kiley, and Rebecca

Thank you for believing in me.

This book is for you guys.Lejátszási lista
CRUEL SUMMER | TAYLOR SWIFT 02:58
KISS ME MORE (FEAT. SZA) | DOJA CAT 03:29
TALKING BODY | TOVE LO 03:58
SHUT UP | ARIANA GRANDE 02:38
IDGAF | DUA LIP A 03:38
ENERGY | TYLA JANE 03:20
MOTIVATION | NORMANI 03:14
ONE KISS (WITH DUA LIP A) | CALVIN HARRIS 03:35
DANCE FOR YOU | BEYONCÉ 06:17
NEEDY | ARIANA GRANDE 02:52
WHO’S | JACQUEES 03:06
LOSE YOU TO LOVE ME | SELENA GOMEZ 03:23
KISS ME | SIXPENCE NONE THE RICHER 03:29
BOYFRIEND (WITH SOCIAL HOUSE) | ARIANA GRANDE 03:06
RUMORS (FEAT. ZAYN) | SABRINA CLAUDIO 03:46
MORE THAN ENOUGH | ALINA BARAZ 02:31
YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN | BILLIE EILISH 03:01
I’M F AKIN | SABRINA CARPENTER 02:55
MAKE ME FEEL | JANELLE MONÁE 03:14
CAN 1 / KEHLANI 02:48It was his skates
into which I could pour my heart and soul.
- Peggy Fleming, American Olympic champion
figure skaterFirst chapter

ANAST ASIA

– AGAIN, ANASTASIA:
If they are together again, I can hear again and Anastasia in the same
sentence
words, I will most likely deviate from my faith.
Since this morning, I've been wracking my last remaining nerve,
after which he sent me straight from the deepest pits of hell
I woke up with a hangover, so I don't need it in the least right now
for Coach Aubrey Brady to punish me.
I focus on suppressing my annoyance as I do
during each training session, when you make it your sacred goal to
push my limits. As I tell myself, this is it
his dedication is what makes him such a great coach, I come to the
decision that he better
if I only think about it with my skates.
"You're inaccurate, Stas!" he shouts at me as we slide past him. - THE
inaccurate girls do not get medals!
What did I say about not cutting my skates?
"Come on, Anastasia!" For once, push yourself a little
Aaron chuckles, and when I give him an ice-cold look, even the
he sticks his tongue at me too.
Aaron Carlise is the best male figure skater to come out of California
at Maple Hills University. When I was offered a place
university, but not my partner, Aaron luckily
he found himself in the same situation, and so we became a couple. This
third year that we skate together - and the third year that
mop the floor with us.
I have a theory that Aubrey is a Soviet spy. Let's say
my evidence is nil and my theory is not really developed.
That is, not at all. But sometimes, when she yells at me about how
pull myself out and lift my chin, I dare to swear that
his Russian accent flashes a little.What is quite interesting is a woman from
Philipsburg, Montana
case.
Comrade Brady was a real figure skating superstar in her day, a
and her movements are still delicate and deliberate, such grace
it's hidden in them that it's hard to believe at first glance that it's capable of
such volume
to shout
She always wears her graying hair pulled back in a tight bun, which makes
her look sharp
his cheekbones and his ever-iconic black faux fur coat
wraps up - Aaron often jokes that it hides the
secrets.
Rumor has it that she is making it to the Olympics with her partner,
Wyatt-
winter. But then Wyatt and Aubrey practiced those a little too much
certain raises until Aubrey ends up with a baby and not one
became richer with a medallion.
And that's why he's been in such a bad mood since only twenty-five years
ago
he started coaching.
"Clair de Lune" ends with him and Aaron facing each other
we finish our routine - our noses almost touch, our chests go wild
it ripples as we try to catch our breath. When we finally hear
the lonely applause, we pull away from each other and go where we are
will undoubtedly be the source of my next headache.
I haven't even stopped when the Brady is already nailing me tight,
green garbage.
"When will that Lutz finally get together?" If it doesn't work, you have to
get out
let's take it from you.
Besides Brady, what makes my life miserable right now is
to pull off a four-turn Lutz without falling on my ass.
Heaven knows how long I've been practicing, but somehow it doesn't want
to come together.
Aaron is doing flawlessly, which is the primary reason I convinced him
add our choreographer to our list.
Pride is a crazy thing. And then in the case of figure skating
especially crazy, because if you screw it up, you face the hard ice
it clicks. But I'd rather lick the ice than watch Aaron get annoying
his mock-disappointed image whenever it comes up to take him out.
"It's getting better, coach," I say, forcing his so much faked enthusiasm
my voice as much as I can handle. "I'm improving." Not perfect yet, though
I practice non-stop.It's a tiny, completely harmless lie. I am really
improving. What
however, I forget to mention that this development is only on ice for the
time being
it is visible outside, especially when I am attached to it
to the tools that help you develop.
"It's really improving," Aaron lies, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. –
Just a little while, A.B.
Nice of Aaron to stick up for me and act like a team
we would be KGB before Aubrey. If only because he saw it face to face
he says Lutz will only come together if I start doping and
i'm building a time machine to get my pre-puberty body back.
Aubrey mutters something unintelligible, then nonchalantly waves,
how can we go
"I'll be waiting for you at the same place tomorrow, and I'd appreciate it if
none of you did."
would have a hangover. I'm sure if you stuff yourself before training
at Kenny's, it's not going to help either of you get into the Olympics
into a team. Did we understand each other?
Fuck it.
"Yes, coach," we say at the same time.
When I finally walk out of the women's locker room, Aaron is waiting,
staring at his phone
at me at the door.
"I fucking told you he'd know." "As soon as I get close enough."
to hit him, I swing my bag towards his stomach with a loud groan. –
I didn't even eat anything!
Aaron groans at the impact, then grabs my bag from my hand and the
he bends it over his shoulder.
"That woman has the smell of a bloodhound."
As is true for most areas of life, figure skating is also much easier,
if the person is a man, since then no one lifts him up and throws him
through the
room twice a day.
In my first year of university, I managed to pick up that particular one
seven kilos typical for freshmen. Well, in my case, it's more like two and a
half
was a kilo, but according to Aaron I was getting too heavy for him to lift,
so since then I haven't gained a single gram.
I try to stick to my diet with almost religious devotion, if only because
a party slips in here and there to keep me sane. The best
my girlfriend's twenty-first birthday was the perfect occasion togo a little
wild, even if it meant a hangover afterwards
I had to face Brady.
We get into Aaron's brand new G-Wagen, the latest guilt-
a calming gift from his sloppy but rich father, and we head home.
At the end of the first year, Aaron and I decided that it would be a good
party in threes
to hang out with my best friend, Lola. Our schedule is similar, that is
and our life revolves around the skates, so it's so self-evident
it all seemed.
Aaron turns onto Maple Avenue and gives me a look as he
I rummage through my handbag in search of my most prized possession.
– What does your diary say, what is the program for tonight?
Rolling my eyes, I let go of his accent that was pinching next to my ear.
- Sheet acrobatics.
"Blow," Aaron says, the tip of his nose crinkling as he grimaces. –
It's already bad enough to plan in advance when you eat and sleep, but
now
do you really have to fix in advance when you're going to have sex?
I don't talk about sleeping and eating - my life is everything
each minute I have carefully allocated in my faithful appointment diary,
which
my friends think it's equally funny and ridiculous. No
i'd say i'm a control freak, but i still need it
to control things.
There is undoubtedly a difference between the two.
I shrug my shoulders and suppress the urge to get under his nose
rub it, unlike him, at least I have sex.
"Ryan's a busy guy and I'm a busy girl." So much time
I want to spend as much time with him as possible before the start of the
basketball season.
Ryan Rothwell's six-foot-tall, dry-clean athletes
perfection. The manager and captain of the university team is just like that
he takes his sport seriously like I take mine, which makes him perfect
subject to the just-no-emotions situation between the two of us. The extra
is
plus Ry is an incredibly sweet guy, so we became great friends as well
based on our mutually beneficial agreement.
"I can't believe you're still messing with him." You are that guy
she's twice your size so she doesn't flatten you into a pancake? Do not wait!
I do not want
to know."I know how big it is." "Giggle, I pinch his face until."
he doesn't push my hand aside. - That's the point.
Most people assume there's more to me than Aaron
a working relationship, but our relationship is more brotherly. Not that
there isn't
handsome, just never developed any kind of romantic attraction
between the two of us.
Aaron is much taller than me, with a well-built, muscular and lanky body
reminds me of a dancer. He wears his black hair cut short and swears
I dare you to use mascara as your sky blue eyes are the darkest,
framed by the most enviable eyelashes that contrast sharply with her pale
skin.
"I now officially know too much about your sex life, Anastasia."
Aaron can't decide if he can handle Ryan or not. Sometimes they get along
well and
then Ryan can see Aaron as I do—someone with
it's fun to hang out with. Every other time, however, one already does it
you'd think Ryan personally ruined Aaron's life or something. Aaron
tends to be embarrassingly abrupt and rude. Pretty unpredictable, but Ryan
up
he doesn't take it either, and he doesn't think I should worry about it.
"I promise, I won't bring you all the way home again, if you promise to,
that you'll drop me off at Ryan's later.
Aaron thinks about that for a moment.
"Okay, we've agreed."
LOLA LOOKS UP FROM HER SALAD, WHICH IS BEING
AGGRESSIVELY PICKED AT
with his fork and puffs out the air.
"I just want to know whose tail Olivia Abbott is after all."
does he suck that he gets the main role for the third year in a row?
I can't stop myself from hissing at his harsh words, but
I know you don't mean it. He was already feeling pretty hot today
in the morning, thanks to the massive amount of alcohol we downed last
night
for his birthday, so today isn't exactly the best day to
to find out he didn't get the role he coveted.
I've seen every single show over the past two years and Lo is just as good
she knows as well as i do that olivia is an amazing actor.
"Couldn't he just be very talented?" And no one's tail
doesn't suck either?"Anastasia, you wouldn't just be petty for five minutes
and you would."
like I don't know Olivia is better than me?
Aaron throws himself into the chair next to me and grabs a carrot stick
from my plate.
"Why are we petty?"
"Olivia Abbott," Lola and I answer at the same time, albeit in the tone of
my friend's voice
dislike just burns like that.
"Sexy chick." Maybe the sexiest on campus, Aaron says
casually, clearly not noticing Lola's jaw dropping. "Single?"
"How the hell am I supposed to know, anyway?" He doesn't talk to anyone.
Just
he walks in, grabs the role I'm applying for, and then continues
he lived his life as an anomaly.
Lola is studying performing arts, where there may be an unwritten rule
one must have a huge personality as all
all the colleagues I've met are just like him. To be with them still
an exhausting battle for attention as an outside observer, but for Olivia
herself
it's real, and that seems to bother people for some reason.
"I'm sorry, Lols." But there will always be a next time - I console you.
We both know it means nothing, but Lola still throws one at me
kisses "And if that makes you feel better, the Lutz still won't work."
Aubrey will soon find out about this and exiles him to Siberia.
"Oh, no." You are officially bankrupt, but how are you going to be able to
do it?
ever step on ice? – grins Lola with sparkling eyes as I look at her
a piercing look. "It'll work out, dear." You work so hard.
His gaze wanders to Aaron, who doesn't care one bit about the
our conversation, so he presses his phone instead. "Hey
Ice princess! Don't you feel like helping out a little?
"If?" Sorry, yeah, you're hot too, Lo.
I'm surprised I don't see smoke coming out of Lola's ears as she bellows
Aaron's head for not paying attention.
I slowly retreat to my bedroom, as I don't want to be alone
attracting attention and being in the crossfire of my roommates' arguments.
With Aaron
and living with Lola is like having siblings who are always the same
they wanted to be.
Aaron, like me, is truly one. Two aging Midwestern parents
prodigy who are desperately trying to hold together the
their marriage. Living with others, after eighteen years of being thethe light
of his parents' eyes, it was a big change for both him and us,
who are forced to put up with him and his mood swings.
Now that she's no longer in Chicago, her parents' relationship isn't exactly
best of all, we always know when things are going to turn for the worse
because
then Aaron gets some ridiculously expensive and unnecessary gift.
Like the G-Wagon.
Unlike the two of us, Lola comes from a large family. After he is a
the youngest and the only girl, she was guaranteed the first place at home,
so he has no problem fixing Aaron.
I'm still hiding in my room when my phone starts vibrating and
Ryan's name flashes on the screen.

RYAN
The guys want to have a party tonight. Do you prefer it?
It was like going to some pep rally or something
they go to shit, but now they would rather stay at home.
I just want to be with you.

Of course, although my roommates are at home.

We will have to be quiet.

If.
You could say that to your reflection.
Are you free now?

Yes, come over.

I'm leaving. I'll bring you a snack.

"Everyone made up?" I ask cautiously as I walk out of my bedroom

I venture into the living room. They both stare blankly at the TV in which
Murderous Minds is playing on repeat, but I still get a weak "yes".
in response, indicating that I could safely approach them.
Leaning over the sofa, I grab onto the one resting between the two of
them,
into a bowl full of popcorn, and then quickly in my mindI make a note to
myself so I don't forget to add this
to my food monitor when I go back to my room.
"So the basketball team is having a party." I thought…
"Should we go with you?" Aaron snaps at me, his voice full of emotion
with unusual hope.
- No?
Lola suddenly turns to me, her red locks bouncing around her shoulders,
off her face
that's the only way the joy shines.
"Would we mind if Ryan came over?"
"Yeah. From where…?"
"Here he is, Carlisle," laughs Lola, holding her hand out to Aaron. The guy
he crams a few twenties into his fist, then mumbles something under his
mustache,
while the girl counts the money. "We heard about the party and I didn't
think
that you would like to have sex while drunk freshmen are banging on the
door
on the other side. We'll walk over there.
One of Aaron's father's better gifts of forgiveness is shared
our apartment. It was either after he had an affair with his secretary, or
before deciding to sleep with the interior designer. Maple Tower is one
beautiful residential building on the edge of the campus, and the view from
our apartment is great,
and we also get a lot of natural light.
Not only students live in the building, so it's quite a peaceful place, but
it's close enough to everyone that it's easy to stumble home
after a party.
Aaron and I shouldn't go to parties, but whatever
Aubrey doesn't know, it doesn't even hurt her.

I'VE ALREADY WATCHED Lola TRY ON ten different outfits when

Ryan
he writes to me that he is coming up, giving me the excuse that he is on his
own
let me leave Lola and her ten almost identical black dresses.
The butterflies that pop up in my stomach every time
they knock on the door and now I know it's Ryan on the other side, for the
first time
they were strange, but now I find them quite sweet.
Ryan's shoulders are almost jamb to jamb when I open the door,
to let me in. Her messy blond hair is still wet, strong orange, and more
it gives off some other scent that I can't identify, but for nowI find it
strangely comforting. He leans down to me and gently pecks his lips
touches my face.
"Hello, my beauty!"
He hands me a bag of rice, insisting at all costs that it's all the time
bring one with you as I am supposed to not eat enough and have none
nothing fancy when it comes through. Ryan eats more than anyone
I know him, and he thinks the only good ones are those full of pressed
sugar.
For some reason, Aaron and Lo seem to be staring at us from the living
room
they had never seen a human being before. When Ryan notices
them, he laughs. Fortunately, by now he's used to their quirks,
and quietly greets them as I lead them to my bedroom.
"Hey Rothwell?" Lola shouts as we reach my door.
Ryan lets go of my hand and turns to my girlfriend.
"Yes?"
Lola leans over the sofa, and I know the fake look on her face
with a smile that I don't want to hear what he has to say.
"After all, my room is next to Stassie's and your moans all night."
and I will be able to listen to the clicking of your balls... - My eyes widened
circles behind Ryan. "...would you give me the code of your room so that I
don't have to?"
do I have to fight for a shared bathroom?
In the campus dormitories, for security reasons, the
there are electric locks. Ryan's room has a private bath, so
Lo's request isn't even a bad idea considering how much they drink
people, the more ridiculous is the line in front of the bathroom.
You should seriously work on your wording.
"Sure, I'll send it to you in a message." Just no sniffing, Mitchell!
I'll know if you try it.
Lola raises her hand in a peace sign with her fingers.
"Scout's word." Good prank!
"Jesus, Lols," I moan loud enough for him to hear.
as I drag Ryan into my room away from Lola. - Sorry!
- I like. Funny girl - Ryan giggles, taking my face in both hands and
he turns my head so he can kiss me.
His kiss is soft at first, then becomes more urgent, as is his tongue
straining for mine. His hand gently glides over my body until he finally
reaches the
up to my thighs, then picks me up with one quick movement. My legit
automatically wraps around your waist - after doing this so many times,
my body already knows his well.
I hear a thump from outside, which I think is my roommates
the sound of him leaving, but every hot kiss Ryan placed on my neck
let it distract me from it. I should see if they are really gone
however, it goes out of my mind the moment Ryan is on the bed
lays down and leans over me.
- How was your day? he mutters in my ear.
He always does this. He kisses me perfectly, hides his body between my
legs,
it bothers me enough that I can't handle myself, it confuses the
my thoughts, and then you ask a completely mundane question like
for example, how I had a day.
The moment I try to answer, his fingers are under my shirt
they slide, running the tip of his nose along the curve of my jaw. My skin
every square inch of him is tingling, even though he hasn't done it yet
nothing.
"It's like, ah, ahm, it was good, I, mhmm, I skated..."
Her body shakes as she giggles.
"Mhmm did you go ice skating?" It sounds interesting. Why don't you tell
me more
to me Allen?
I hate him. I really, really, really hate it.
Until he takes off our clothes, until only our underwear remains
on us, I mutter something incomprehensibly about the ice and the
Russians.
Ryan's body would make even a Greek god scream. His skin is brown from
Miami
after the summer spent in their summer house, and his stomach has more
dice than me
i could count
Let's forget about the Greek gods, even I would prefer that
I would kill myself.
He grabs my panties on both sides of my hips, waits for me to nod,
then he slowly pulls it down my leg, throws it behind his back and stretches
the
my thighs.
- Stas.
"Yes?"
His forehead creases.
"Can Lola really hear my balls?"Second chapter

NO THAN

THERE'S A HAND ON MY TAIL that isn't mine.

The girl is fast asleep and snoring loudly while her arm is around my waist
it wraps around him, and his hand slips under my boxers. I pull it out
carefully and
I scrutinize it—long false nails, Cartier rings, and a
Rolex on his graceful duck.
Who the fuck is this anyway?
Even after a night spent in heaven knows what, it still smells expensive,
the
and long, golden brown locks fall on my shoulders, as they are next to me
lies down.
I shouldn't have gone to that party last night, but Benji
Harding and the other basketball guys are unstoppable little beasts. No
matter how much
I also like to have parties, there is nothing better than going somewhere
one goes elsewhere, and then returns home to one's quiet home, which
it is not full of other people's couplets.
Unless, of course, you're talking about this kind of couple swarm. About
when
you wake up next to a woman and have no idea who the hell she is.
The saner part of my brain tells me to turn around and take one
look at the girl, but another part that remembers all the stupid
situation in which we managed to get ourselves into reminds him that
drunk Nate is an asshole.
That part of my brain is genuinely worried that the chick will be found out
someone's sister, or worse, someone's mother.
"Will you finally stay calm?" - snaps my mysterious guest. - What the
do you have a problem with athletes and early mornings?
That voice. What I wish I didn't recognize.
Oh fuck it!
I turn slowly to confirm my worst fear: that
that I slept with Kitty Vincent last night.
And I will.He looks quite peaceful when he's trying to sleep – his features
are soft
and her tender, puckering lips are ruddy. Based on what it's like
he seems calm now, you wouldn't think he was one anyway
nervous cu…
"What are you staring at, Nate?" "His eyes pop up, then it's like a fucking
one."
a pet dragon, he will tear you to pieces with a single look.
Kitty Vincent is the textbook example of insufferable, daddy
to rich girls playing with their credit cards, women found on campus
one of its subspecies, of which I am a ready expert due to the fact that
that I have slept with almost all of them.
Except for this one.
I was like, I'm never going to beat this here.
There is nothing wrong with him on the outside. To be honest, the girl is
crazy
hot. Only in the meantime you have a terrible time.
- Are you okay? I ask cautiously. - You need something?
"Yes, to stop staring like you've never seen her before."
a naked woman in your bed - he retorts as he sits up and leans against her
bed support. "We both know you've seen it before and you're about to."
hang out.
"I'm shocked, Kit." I, um, I don't remember how that happened
the whole…
I remember trying to get Summer Castillo at the party to-
West to enter his number, which he has used every September
I tried, but tragically, for the fourth time in a row
he sent me to hell. I also remember playing beer pong Danny
With Adekele, and I got out, which I would rather forget, but for that
I still don't remember how it happened.
"Oh shit." Wait, aren't you dating Danny?
Kitty rolls her blue eyes, then rests on the table next to my bed
she reaches for her bag and curses herself when she sees it's her phone
drained. After brushing her hair out of her face, she finally looks at me.
Not so far
I knew that a woman could be so disturbed by my existence.
"We broke up."
"True, true." The suck, I'm sorry. What happened?
I try to be a polite, courteous host - at least to others
I'm sure they'd see it that way - but Kitty was just one of them perfectly
picked
he raises his eyebrows and gives me a piercing look."What the hell do you
care?"
I nervously rub my chin with my palm as I try
come up with an excuse. You're right - I don't care. I just hate it
those who cheat on their partner and I panicked, but after a while
they broke up, nothing to worry about.
"I'm just trying to be nice."
Kitty flashes me the worst fake smile I've ever seen,
then she swings her leg over the edge of the bed, and the new mother starts
naked
to my bathroom. It's hard to focus on how crazy it paints because the
he gives me one last, indifferent look over his shoulder and nudges me
annoyed:
"If you want to be nice, call me an Uber."
Thank God!
- Easy.
"Just Exec, Nate." It's already bad enough that everyone will see it,
to leave here. Don't let me suffer any longer something decrepit
in the car!
When the bathroom door slams shut and I hear the shower running,
I know, I can now safely shout my entire vocabulary of swearing at
into my pillow.

Standing IN FRONT OF THE FRONT DOOR, I watch Kitty get into the
Uber – which
an Exec of course, lest he should be embarrassed.
I run my hands through my hair while I'm just unable
figuring out how I got here after I swore this year would be different.
I distinctly remember that it was on the way back from Colorado to
California
on our way i told my best friend robbie that a
quarter will be different. I could have told him twenty times over the
course of two days, with coffee
during our full trip.
I lasted three weeks.
Then a person quickly pulls me out of wallowing in self-pity
a mumbling voice coming from behind me. Robbie and my other two
roommates, JJ and
Henry, they're all sitting in our living room drinking their coffee like a
Cast of The View.
"Just look over there," Robbie says smugly. "Well, here we are."
what happened you little rib?Robbie has made my life miserable since we
were five years old. His father, whom even today
sixteen years later I still call you Mr. H, there was the local hockey team
coach in Eagle County, where we grew up. That's why we met and became
friends, and Robbie has been a hump on my back ever since.
Ignoring him and their searching eyes, he headed straight for the kitchen
I go in the direction where I pour myself a cup of coffee, and then instead
of
to give Robbie the pleasure of answering, simply
I will introduce him.
As I down my coffee - which feels like two seconds
I can feel their eyes on me all the time. This is the worst in if
you live with your teammates - nothing is a secret.
JJ, Robbie and I are all grads and have been living together ever since,
that we lived in a dorm room as freshmen, but Henry was a sophomore a
from team.
The guy is a really good hockey player, but he still needs to get used to the
whole social thing
pressure that comes with being on a sports team. He hated living in school
and he found it difficult to make friends outside the team, so we offered
him
move here.
We always had a free room, because the garage became a barrier-free net
was made for Robbie, and Henry was extremely grateful for the
for opportunity.
Although it's only been here for three short weeks, we can already see it
starting
to be more confident - which is probably why he doesn't anymore
I find it hard to help JJ and Robbie with my revenge.
"Why did you knock Kitty Vincent?" Henry asks his coffee mug
above the rim. "Not exactly a nice girl."
Oh yeah, and the kid has no filter whatsoever.
"I'm gonna pretend it never happened, man." Neither does Kitty
he was very excited about it and I don't remember a second of it, so
it doesn't even matter. "I shrug, then walk into the living room and."
I sit down in one of the armchairs. "You three, what the hell."
could you let this happen?
I'm old enough not to put the blame on someone else
for my mistakes? Of course. But will I still try? Nah.
"We tried to stop you from going with her, bro," JJ lies
cheekily, raising his hands in front of him defensively. "You said it was
delicious."smell, and how good it is to hold her ass. How can I stand
between you and the truth?
between love?
I groan loudly as my head begins to throb from the sound. If Jaiden that
claims he tried to stop me from leaving, then he probably called him
the Uber and put me and Kitty in the car.
JJ is a one-eyed kid from somewhere in the middle of Nebraska where the
bird isn't
goes, so when he was young, his only entertainment was to
inspired others.
Her parents always visit here in June so we can join together JJ-
at the Pride parade in Los Angeles, where they always proudly wear the
their pansexual ally badge. Thanks for the time in our house
spend, I managed to get to know them quite well, and that's how I know
that he is also JJ's father
exactly like his son, to the point where I have no idea he's his mother
that he could bear both of them in one household at the same time.
Mrs. Johan is a great woman with the patience of a saint.
Before he leaves, he always fills our fridge with all kinds of curries and
with side dishes, and also has great taste in horror films -
maybe that's why I love him so much.
He might be the only reason I haven't cut it out yet
Jaiden.
Robbie rolls over next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, which
I assume is
intended as a comforting gesture.
- Your decision that you will only focus on school and hockey,
it took longer than i expected. Now pull yourself together because
you have to take us to class!

WHEN I WAS HIRED AT MAPLE HILLS, I had no idea what I wanted

to learn. I'm less than a year away from graduation and I still haven't
is quite sure that it was a good decision to choose sports medicine.
When I finished high school, I was drafted by the Vancouver Vipers,
and it was difficult to prioritize my studies, especially as
I dreamed of joining the NHL since I was a kid
{*}
. Something else
I don't want to either, just play, but I'm aware that hockey always
accidents happen – a more serious injury or unavoidable accident and
so much for your career.Although, as soon as I graduate, a place in my
dream team is waiting, but still
I just want something to stick in my head for the past three
from what I have learned this year, so that I feel it was worth choosing Plan
B.
My father was not very happy that I decided to have another
I'm going to university in the state, especially not because I signed a
contract
with a hockey team, and also in Canada. He wanted me to learn about the
family
business and run the ski resort until I get old
and I'm gray like him. The danger of turning into my father is always there
encouraged me to pull myself together and achieve my goals.
I would have a better chance of understanding the mysteries of cell
structure if I wasn't
constantly exhausted from training, and if not constantly for me
I'm supposed to keep my idiot teammates from getting into trouble.
When Greg Lewinski graduated last year and handed me the captaincy
post, it didn't prepare you for how much babysitting is involved
keep everyone else's asses on the bench ready to play.
Robbie helps out a lot since he is Coach Faulkner's assistant. Robbie is one
after a skiing accident in his third year of high school, he was paralyzed
from the waist down and
he now uses a wheelchair. His ability to yell bullshit
to me on the ice, he transformed it so that the ice would yell nonsense at
me
from the side.
There's nothing he loves more than swinging it at me
your oversized pin board and make me do better. THE
guys in the team are to the point that I get Robbie's abuse
the lion's share, because it is easier for them.
Days like today are perfect examples of this. Every Friday JJ-
me and i have classes in the science building so
we have developed the habit of dropping Dunkin' on the road and carrying
it away
our asses on the field, quickly grabbing a donut before training.
It's our little secret, but JJ knows that if we get caught, that's it
they're going to blame me, so he's not keen on the risk. The last class on
Friday
low point in my life, so I don't mind the risk either.
Waiting for JJ in front of the lab, I was lazily checking my message board
when
I hear his pleasing, cheerful voice getting louder and louder as he walks
towards me
approaching.
"Are you ready to get your hungover ass kicked?"
"There's nothing wrong with me that a rainbow ring can't."
side. And anyway, it's good if you sweat out the alcohol. It willrefreshes you
for the evening.
JJ frowns.
"What the hell are you talking about, anyway?" Didn't you see the group
case?
The last message I saw was that Robbie decided tonight
we are having a party. There are still two weeks until our first game, and
it's a tradition
for us, to greet the season with one or at least five parties.

HOCKEY BUNNIES
BOBBY HUGHES
I think I'm dying.

CHRIS HUDSON
Rest in peace, mate.

ROBBIE HAMLET
Are you drinking with us tonight?

BOBBY HUGHES
To quote Michael Scott, I'm ready for more pain.

JOE CARTER
I'll bring the tequila roulette.

HENRY TURNER
Faulkner e-mails us to go to the awards room, not the field.

JAYDEN JOHAL
what the fuck

HENRY TURNER
He sent it an hour ago.

The prize-giving hall is a room used for events in the sports building
in the middle part. Most of us don't go there much unless we're in
troublewe are - the coaches work there when there is no practice or game
and the year
the celebrations are held there at the end. If they call us there, that's it
means that someone really fucked something up and I really hope
that this someone is not me.
"I have no idea what it could be," JJ says as we get into the
to my car. "Do you know Josh Mooney, the baseball guy from my class?"
That
he said, their training will also be canceled. They also need to go to the
awards hall
to go, but half an hour after us. That's fucking weird, man.
It's only been three weeks since the semester started, but what a mess
can we be

WE ARE SITTING WITH NECKS IN THE SHIT.

The coach doesn't even look at us when we walk in the door. The team
half of them are already sitting in front of him, and all of them have the
same familiar expression on their faces: a
of fear. JJ sits down next to Henry and gives me a look that says:
Find out, Captain.
Neil Faulkner is not the kind of person you want to piss off. Already
was a three-time Stanley Cup winner when he was hit by a drunk driver
off the road, breaking both his arms and his right leg into pieces, ending it
instantly
of his NHL career. I have watched the tapes of his old matches countless
times,
and it was a horrifying piece of shit—well, it still is.
So the fact that he's sitting there on a chair facing the team is so red
with an image as if he were about to explode, but still he doesn't say a
word,
it turns on my fight or flight instinct. However, for my team
he needs me, so reluctantly I just start poking the bear.
"Coach, he loves..."
"Put your ass down, Hawkins!"
"Wh..."
"I won't say it again."
With my imaginary tail between my legs, I trudge back to the team
– the guys are even more colorful than they were a minute ago. It spins
my mind, I'm trying to figure out what we could have done, because it can't
be
that he is angry because we went to that house party last night.
Except for Henry, most of the juniors weren't there either. They're not old
enough
to drink, so we don't even invite them to parties with us. This
of course, it does not mean that the student union will not help
insteadhouses, but at least I'm not the one giving them the beer when it
suits me
I would be their responsible leader.
When both Joe and Bobby arrive and sit down, the coach finally moves
– or at least makes you blow angrily, but at least that's something.
"I've been here for fifteen years, but I've never experienced anything like
this before."
in shame like this morning.
Fuck it!
"Before I go on, does anyone have anything to say?"
He looks all over us like he's waiting for someone to stand up and
he confesses his sins, but honestly I have no shot, what should we confess
anyway.
I've heard it countless times I've never had such a shame before -
speech—it's Faulkner's hit—but I've never seen him so angry.
Crossing his arms over his chest, Faulkner leans back in his chair and
shakes his head.
"This morning, when I arrived at the track, I found it in ruins." So,
who made the trouble?
University sports life is full of traditions. Some good, some good
bad, but still traditions. Maple Hills is no exception and
each sport has its own stupidities and superstitions which
they move from one grade to the next.
The jokes are ours. The irresponsible, childish jokes. Against each other,
different
against teams, against other sports. Over the years, just enough of these
Faulkner-
I had a lot of fun to decide, not me as a captain
I will allow these jokes. The egotistical guys keep trying until then
outdoing each other and even themselves until they finally reach that a
to the point where even the school is forced to intervene.
So if they screwed up our arena, that means someone didn't
he listened to me.
Stealthily, I lean forward a little to get a better look at the
my teammates and it takes me about 0.2 seconds to spot Russ, one
sophomore, who already played with us last year, and who now paints like
who
he saw a ghost.
Faulkner's volume rises to a level that fills the entire room
it loads and bounces off the walls.
"The institute director is furious!" The dean is furious! Fuck me too
I'm raging! I thought we were done with this joke bullshit! It was about
that you are men! No pee puppies!I want to say something, but my mouth
is as dry as the Sahara.
I clear my throat, which doesn't help at all, but at least
draws Faulkner's attention to me.
"We're done with him, coach," I finally manage to moan out after drinking
one
sip of water. "We didn't do anything."
"Then someone suddenly decided to crush the generator."
and the cooling system? My ice rink is about to become a swimming pool,
and that
do you want me to believe that you clowns have nothing to do with this?
We are really, really in trouble.
- The director of the institute will hold a meeting of all student athletes in
five minutes
for. Buckle up, gentlemen! I really hope it's one of them
he didn't want to make a living from hockey either.
Did I say how the hell?Chapter Three

ANAST ASIA

MY DEADLINE DIARY IS A TOTAL, untidy mess, and so am I

i'm nervous i'd rather rip out all my hair.
It's the exact opposite of the Friday feeling that people do
they are famously in love. Today was supposed to be a problem-free day -
one
I woke up next to the right guy and the rest of my day went perfectly
was designed. Gym, classes, workout with Aaron, dinner, then dance until
only my legs can take it at the party that promises to be the best fun.
I even had a chance to see Ryan again and
let's scratch each other while there's still time.
However, according to a terribly passive-aggressive email I received,
David Skinner, Maple Hills' athletic director, says it all
about my schedule and training schedule, not even about my sex life
speaking.
For no other reason would he cancel every single workout today and be
dragged away by it
all student-athletes into the most hideous corner of campus?
This is the building where all the trainers are hiding and planning to
how to make our life miserable. When I posted a picture this morning
with the inscription "Just enjoy where you are now", I had no idea
that I will find him in the long line of students heading to the prize-giving
hall
myself.
He is about to be swallowed by the angry, almost already glowing with
murderous desire
my thoughts when two muscular arms wrap around my waist from behind,
then
I feel someone press a soft kiss on the top of my head. Because right away
I know it's Ryan, I sink into his embrace and tilt my head back
let me take a look at it. Then he kisses my forehead, which makes, well,
I might feel a little better.
"Síoka, you beauty!"
"I'm out," I grumble, glancing towards the door and watching the queue
cam forward. "You just stood in the middle of the line." You're gonna get in
troubleto avoid
Ryan grabs my shoulder and spins me around my shaft to
face him. He slides his long finger under the chin and tilts it up
my head so that I could look into his terrifyingly high eyes. When you have
that
I think it can't be cuter than this, it blows my hair away
from my face and smiles at me.
"You rule the deadline, Stas." You are not ruled by the deadline diary.
"But you still got in line."
Ryan shrugs with a chuckle.
"You saved the place for me." At least that's what I told everyone who
I passed by. Come on, what a gut-wrenchingly motivating quote
did you post today? Need I remind you?
Ryan and I started dating last year when we met
at a party where we became beer pong partners. Of course we won, since
the
Within a hundred miles of Maple Hills, we are the most stubborn and
most competitive people. He texted me the next day, joking that he didn't
you would have thought that someone who pushes drinking games so
aggressively would
meanwhile, he constantly preaches on his social media pages that only a
you can focus on positive thoughts.
Since then, every time I'm in a grumpy mood or freak out
something, Ryan always reminds me that I need a ready ray of sunshine
I would be
Asshole!
"Well?" - he asks, leaning forward as we get closer and closer to the
to the entrance.
"It was about stopping and enjoying the moment."
His smile widens as he realizes he's caught.
"Okay, well, I can handle that." It's a pity that training will be missed, but
that if you want to enjoy the moment, then you hang out with me, and I'm
cool
I'm.
I cross my arms in front of my chest and do my best
I try not to smile as I continue to pretend
like it doesn't affect my mood.
"Hmm."
"It's a tough audience, jesus." I'll take you as soon as we get out of here
to eat, later there will be a hockey party, where we can visit
get rid of all that stress-induced energy.- What else? "Now that there are
finally only a few people standing between us and the door."
in between, I let him spin me again and then his hand on my shoulder
relaxes.
"I'll take you home and let you release any remaining stress."
on my body, okay?
"With a baseball bat?"
His fingers dig into my tensing muscles, rhythmically working out the
knots as I turn my head from side to side.
"Sexy." Do you even dress up as Harley Quinn?
He moans loudly as I press my elbow between his ribs, which
a ridiculously exaggerated reaction, after which I'm sure it's mine
my elbow hurts more.
After waiting what seems like an eternity, we finally walk into the
at the door of the prize-giving hall. Instead of the usual round tables, the
room is
it is filled with chairs arranged in rows facing the stage.
What the hell is going on here anyway?
Never mind the immediate anxiety that flared up inside me, Ryan
insisting that I enjoy the moment, which pretty much means
that I am forced to sit next to the basketball team. So soon Ryan
and his teammate Mason Wright, next to whom I find myself
with my respectable height of one hundred and sixty three centimeters I
look like
a grown up toddler.
"Tweezers?"
It's hard not to look at the bag of lays under my nose, but it is
it smells like barbecue, and Ryan knows that's my favorite.
- No, thank you!
He leans forward and rummages through his bag noisily, not caring how
several people are staring at us. Exhaling loudly, he throws himself back a
into his chair and hands me a bag.
"Cookies?"
- No thank you! I'm not hungry. "I'm trying not to hurt myself again."
attention, but it's hard to ignore the disappointment on his face. "Don't."
look at me like that! The regional championship is almost here. I can't gain
weight.
Ryan slouches in his chair so our eyes meet,
then he leans closer to me so they don't hear us as much. His breath
he tickles my skin as his lips are sensitive almost below my ear
it gets to the point where goosebumps run all over my body."As someone
who throws you around a lot, I guess it's fair."
to say this: if that trash can't bear your weight
fluctuates by a kilo or two, which is completely normal anyway, then you
shouldn't
to be your partner.
"We're not going to argue about this again, Ryan."
"Sta..." he begins, but then stops when Principal Skinner a
squinting from the spotlights, he finally steps onto the stage. Ryan pulls it
out
he places himself and his hand on my thigh and gently squeezes it. - Maybe
we'll still need a baseball bat later.
The room is filled with the sharp screeching of the microphone being
turned on, and everyone
wince. Skinner took his place behind the podium, but still in his face
he couldn't force a smile.
He has aged a lot since I studied at this university. Earlier
he seemed approachable and enthusiastic, but now, as contempt
he deepens the wrinkles on his forehead, he seems to be anything but
not approachable and enthusiastic.
- Good day everyone! Thank you, no matter how unexpected
this is the meeting, they all came. I'm sure all of them
they wonder why they are here.
I don't know why you're pretending it wasn't in the email
in all bold capital letters that the meeting is mandatory.
Skinner takes off his jacket, spreads it on the chair next to him, then big
sighing, he turns to us again. He runs his hand through his balding gray
hair, which
I swear it was thick and black when I was a freshman.
"You have a certain idea when you're at university."
it's about students. It's a given that it comes with some chaos as they begin
to grow up
their lives away from home. He sighs again, almost exhausted
palpable. – When competitive sports are also added to this, it's a balance
it tilts as you simultaneously try to polish your knowledge and
live the authentic university experience.
Well, that's condescending. It's as if he wrote it with his secretary
he rehearsed the entire speech in front of the mirror. If
Lo would be here, making countless comments about Skinner's
performance.
– Some of them indulged a little too much in the university experience.
Here we go.
- In the last five years, since I have only been the sports director, there are
countless
I had to face an unavoidable situation. With rude parties, amedical
following the reckless actions of students on campus
with bills, more pranks than I can count, unexpected
with pregnancies, a…
The creaking of Michael Fletcher's chair cuts into Skinner's words, as does
the guy
jumps to his feet.
"Mr. Fletcher, please sit down."
Fletch doesn't make a case for it, but simply bends down and picks it up
bag off the ground, then storms to the exit, both sides of the door
rips it up and leaves.
I don't know much about football, but everyone says Fletch is the best
linebacker this university has ever seen, and practically as soon as
he graduates, he has a sure spot in the NFL
{†}
.
However, what is even more important is that he is a proud father to his
little girl,
To Diya, who was born last year by his girlfriend, Prishi.
Prishi was my teammate before she accidentally got pregnant in her third
year
at the beginning. When I asked if he was coming back, he said his bladder
was gone
he's as good as he was before he was squeezed by a four-pounder
child, and would rather not pee on the ice in front of an audience.
They live with their friends and everyone helps take care of the baby,
so that Fletch and Prishi could go to their classes. That Skinner is right
there with them
it is exemplified in the speech of the little student-slap, quite rubbish on his
part.
Twenty minutes go by and he's still saying it. I rest my head on Ryan's
shoulder
and I close my eyes as I accept the cookie in my palm
slide.
– …To summarize.
Well, finally!
- From now on, we will treat the campus with zero tolerance,
abuse of status.
I feel like I'm missing a major piece of the puzzle,
because—despite his damn long, still-not-ending speech—
I have no idea what brought about this wretched position of mine
disruption.
– For graduates hoping that the academic year
can join professional teams at the end, it would be a wise decision if
would carefully consider this message.
Ryan snorts next to me and stuffs another cookie into his mouth. When
I open my mouth to ask what's so funny, into mine tooI put one in, and
then he just grins like a wild apple because there's nothing else to do
my choice than to eat.
Skinner is finally running out of steam. He leans against the podium,
shoulders
you bend forward.
"I don't care what potential you have." But also
they behave, they sit on the bench. I would like the figure skating and
hockey teams
he would still stay, but the others could leave.
Ryan picks up his bag off the floor and stands up, followed by an
exaggerated yawn
he stretches out his limbs with his accompaniment.
"I'll wait for you outside." Food?
I nod, then stand on tiptoe to thumb
I can sweep the cookie crumbs from the corner of his mouth.
"Hopefully it won't be long."
Everyone, with the exception of about fifty of us, leaves the room.
Ironically, it's about five times faster now than it used to be
we came in.
Brady and Faulkner, the coach of the hockey team, join Principal Skinner
on the stage.
"Everyone come closer, I've had enough of the microphone."
As we comply with the request and walk to the front of the hall, I notice
the
I find Aaron in the crowd with an annoyed look and I lean next to him.
- Are you okay? I ask quietly as we take our seats in the front row.
"Yes."
I don't need to be a genius to see that it's not exactly good
please, but it seems to be directed at me and not at Skinner.
- Are you sure?
She purses her lips and still doesn't look at me.
"Yes."
Skinner steps out from behind his podium, puts his hands in his suit pants
pockets,
while he carries his exhausted, sunken gaze across the room
on the rest.
- I will be fast. Thanks to something that could only be a colossal disaster
can be called, the Kettes Aréna will be out of service in the near future.
Oh my God!
- An investigation is underway to find out exactly how the
significant damage, but I received the information that the repair
workregarding this, we can expect a significant delay, as there is currently a
shortage
is from the parts of the machine in question.
Not only does the realization wash over me, but I'm literally suffocating.
About the hockey team
it is known that they like to suck the rival teams and such
usually each other. The spoiled, rich-guy-turned-hockey assembly line
it works great at this school and I'd bet it's one of them
the game was hockey.
"That means to you," Skinner continues, "that until you're in."
the repairs are finished, they have to share the track and I expect that
everyone should work together to make a given situation livable.
Knowing clearly how many questions we would have, Skinner
demonstrates
in fact, he doesn't care about us at all, and he's already taking us for
granted. Yet
he didn't even get off the stage when I stormed over to coach Brady.
"But there are only five weeks until the regional championship!"
"I'm perfectly aware of the race calendar, Anastasia," he replies
Coach Brady slowly, drawing out the words as he motions to a few of us
juniors so they don't come closer. I'm very, very close to one
to a complete nervous breakdown. "We have no other option, so nothing."
it makes sense to be angry about it.
Are you serious about that?
"How are we going to qualify if we can't train?"
Three meters from me, Coach Faulkner is surrounded by his own team - for
sure
I'm sure he has similar concerns to dispel. No
as if you care - it's clear that they caused this whole mess, and
and we are the ones who suffer because of it.
In my mind, I try not to think of the worst possible case
to visualize and make a bigger deal out of it than it is. The out and
I focus on breathing in and not crying in front of strangers,
while listening to my teammates share the same concerns
they make a sound. When my eyes drift back to the hockey team, I see
that most of them are already gone. There's only one guy talking
Faulkner, and he must be able to sense that I'm watching him because of
the look in his eyes
meets mine. He looks at me with a strange expression on his face - like
with a forced, pitying grimace, I think.
Now honestly, take your feigned sympathy and shove it up your ass!
"We'll talk about this at practice, Stassie," Brady says with a twinkle
towards me a rare, even almost friendly smile. "Enjoy the rarehave a free
friday evening. See you on Monday!
After another feeble protest, I finally bow to Brady
before her plea to leave her alone and head for the exit.
I shuffle along behind Aaron, actively feeling sorry for myself when
someone
he suddenly speaks to me, and a hand touches my bicep.
Mr. Compassion is the one who is still and – you guessed it – pitied
he purses his lips.
"Listen, I'm sorry." I know this sucks for all of us.
I will do my best to, as much as possible,
let me make it easier.
He lets go of my arm and takes a step back, giving me a chance that this is
the first time
take a good look at him for myself. He's at least a foot tall
above me, his broad-shouldered, buttoned T-shirt stretched by bulging
muscles. Even the little one
you can see the sharp curve of his jaw through his beard. I'm just trying to
figure out how
have we met before when he speaks again.
"I know, it must be getting on your nerves, but we're having a party
tonight, just in case."
you like to come
"And who are you?" I ask, trying to calm my voice. That's why
a drop of satisfaction washes over him when his eyebrows meet his
forehead for half a moment
jumps to the middle.
But then he pulls himself together just as quickly, his dark brown eyes
and she glistens as if she enjoys it.
– Nate Hawkins. I am the captain of the hockey team. – He hands me the
hand, but I only glance at it, and then it is my gaze again
I turn him on his face and put my hand on his arm.
"Weren't you listening?" According to Skinner, the parties are over.
The guy shrugs and half-heartedly rubs the back of his head.
"People will still come because of that, even if I tried."
to stop them. Look, come over, bring your friends, or what do I know.
Good
if only we could get along and I swear we have good tequila. Thee
do you have a name
I refuse to let myself be charmed by a proper pout. Yet
not one with dimples and beautiful cheekbones. More than that
this whole thing is a disaster.
"Do you meet a lot of people who don't have names?"
To my surprise, the guy laughs. I blush at the deep, balmy voice.
"Okay, that was nice."His gaze wanders behind me as an arm rests on my
shoulder. to Ryan
I look up knowingly, only to find myself facing Aaron instead.
I shake his arm off me, because that's what they think
people, how are we doing when, honestly, I'd rather eat the
my skates.
- You come? he snaps.
I nod and take one last look at my new track friend. Nate
she doesn't bother to introduce herself to Aaron, just instead
he's just waving at me Don't forget the party.
God, Lola is going to love this drama!Chapter four
NO THAN

THE ENTIRE HOCKEY TEAM FLOWS through the front door and
immediately the
towards the bar cabinet.
I wait until Russ is almost walking past me when
I grab his arm, forcing him to stop.
- To my room! Three-nine-nine-three.
His eyes darken, and then he squeezes out a nervous laugh.
"You're not exactly my case, Captain."
When he tries to go after the rest of the team who are drinking beers
they distribute in the living room, I squeeze his arm even more.
"Today was a fucking long day." Don't want it in front of the whole team
i have to do this.
His shoulders fall forward in defeat, and then, lowering his head, he raises
the
on the stairs like a misbehaving student. I mean, well, practically
now he's really a bad student.
Directly before the start of the season to share on the field a ready
a fucking logistical nightmare - not to mention that there will be a few
domestic ones
our match too. Bass. I can already feel the migraine coming on me, and
more
we didn't put together a schedule for him either.
That brown-haired ice dancing girl almost had smoke coming out of her
ears
earlier. He was surprised he didn't pop a vein on his forehead when he did
his coach told him not to worry about it. I tried to be discreet
to interrogate them, which wasn't a difficult task since she was yelling.
In my heart, I would do the same whenever I can think of “no
worry about him,” so at least we have something in common. Her
boyfriend
it didn't seem to bother him at all, so maybe it would help him
to calm down—or maybe not, based on the way the girl shook him off
about yourself.
Funny little creature. He immediately spoke up, keeping his head down,
but
in the meantime, I think it was as if he had already begun to open up to
me.Minutes earlier, he was clearly on the verge of tears. I hope
he accepts my invitation and we can have a drink, so that it develops
between us
something friendly. It would make the whole situation easier.
I decide to let Russ wait for me for a good twenty minutes, in that a
in the hope that the guilt will consume him a little, and so it won't be like
that
it's hard for me to find out what happened. Then you can listen from above
as the
his teammates laugh and joke without him, but he won't know that a
guys are laughing about how fucking crap this season is going to be.
I feel sorry for them.
So much so that I don't even kick the newbies out like they do in beer
they drown their sorrows. I feel like I should give something motivational
speech, or what I know what to cheer everyone up, but first who
I need to find out exactly how we got into this mess.
When I finally join him, Russ is sitting in the wheelchair and here—
he goes there with him. I expect you to make some pointed remark,
and he will complain that he had to wait so long - because I did
that's exactly what I would have done when I was a cocky little asshole -
but not a word
speak. He sits quietly, waiting for me to make the first move.
"What did you do?" He rubs his palms together, then leans forward and
onto his knees
supports his elbows. It's tense. His face is pale, he mostly looks like he is
he is about to throw away the tac. "Dude, I can't help you if you don't tell
me."
what should I help you with?
- I did not do anything.
I run my hand over my face trying not to lose it
my patience.
"I know you did something and I can't fix it if you're lying."
me.
When I started playing hockey at Maple Hills, our captain was a true
he was an asshole, and everyone hated him for it. I never expected it to be
one
day I will be the captain, but I knew that if it turned out like this, I would
not be like
He. Things are pretty bad for Russ at home, and I know that's not why he
worked
out of his gut to escape from there, and then come here to do it again
treat him the same as his parents at home.
With another member of the team, I might not be so patient, but good
being a leader also means that you know how to achieve that your people
open up to him.I take a place on my bed across from him, watching him at
the same time
or ten different feelings run through him.
"It wasn't a joke, I swear."
"Alright, go ahead!"
"There's this girl at UCLA."
{‡}
. We met at a party a few weeks ago.
We hung out, and then he showed up at every single party I was at. That
I thought he was single, but…” He looks down and the one on his palm
it pokes calluses.
"But?"
"But she has a boyfriend." The guy somehow found out and sent a message
that
I'm going to fucking regret ever looking at that chick. Then
all this came, so this must be revenge, right?
"Are you still in touch with this girl?"
Russ shakes his head.
"As soon as I found out that she had a boyfriend, I blocked her from
everywhere."
"Don't tell anyone about this, okay?" That's why they would be kicked off
the team. Seriously
I say kid! If they ask you what you were doing up here, say that
something is wrong at home or what do I know and you wanted to talk to
me.
"Okay, get it."
I nodded towards the door.
"Go get yourself a beer!"
I'll wait until he leaves the room and stumbles down the stairs before, that
day
for the second time, I would scream my entire swearing dictionary into my
pillow.

A FEW HOURS AFTER I DID EVERYTHING TO

to be a responsible captain, the house is filled with people, it is empty
with bottles and red plastic cups. Part of me is waiting for David
Skinner, or worse, Faulkner, walk through the door.
I doubt the coach would be bursting with joy that we decided to have one
we end the worst day of our lives with a party that we were warned about,
not to keep it. Friday parties are usually full of tired people
with athletes who are totally out for Friday's practice or game, and barely
they are waiting to deflate and watch others
they make questionable decisions. Tonight, however, feel something
different
in the air. As if being reminded of it doesn't make us feel bad about it
on fire, everyone would have gone wild.I spot Briar, Summer's roommate,
pouring herself a drink
at the kitchen counter, which immediately makes me feel better. Those
two girls together
she's grown, so if B is here, Summer must be around.
You just can't give away a basket twice a week, can you?
Summer keeps making fun of it, but I'm only going to get into it because I
don't
i am interested and because she is the only woman who has ever said no to
me.
Saying I don't care just makes me want her more
so if I look at it logically, you're probably right.
As much as I want him to give me a chance, we're good friends,
which makes his rejection hurt a little less.
I fight my way through the crowd and pose as the friendliest wife
I want to buy your best friend's face. Briar is so obsessed with random
cocktail he's mixing, not even noticing me leaning against the counter
beside him.
"You look like you want to throw up on my lawn, Beckett."
Briar lifts her head, her long blond hair fluttering as she notices
me by your side.
"Then it's a good idea that I don't drink it alone, eh?" he snarls
with his usual British and American English accent.
His green eyes sparkle glassy, and his smile is more of a lazy, drunken one
a half-smile as he winks at me and pushes the glass towards me, then
immediately one
reaches for empty.
"I hear you had a bad day." Me too, so we can fuck together.
I'll wait for him to mix up another disgusting concoction, then head over
I raise my glass.
"For useless sophomores!"
He snorted.
"For useless ex-girlfriends!"
I put the drink down, and damn it, it has a draft.
"Jeez!" – I start to choke as the booze eats my throat. –
Who the hell taught you how to mix a cocktail?
"My uncle James." He calls it the magic cocktail. Are you looking for
Summer? "Briar."
he rolls his eyes when I nod. - He's playing beer pong with Cam in the
lounge.
"I will remember this wonderful moment when you spoke."
I say at our wedding with Summer. "I down my poisonous drink."
the rest, and I try not to choke on it, but it doesn't work out."You won't!"
Briar calls after me. "You know last night."
you fuck kitty!
Fuck it!
Summer is leaning over the table preparing to roll when
I push through the crowd and stand next to him. The basketball player
plays against Ryan and CJ in the
with her other best friend, Cami.
"Are you going to win?"
"Get out of here, Nathan!" - he laughs, not even bothering to tell me
look.
"What rudeness!" What if I'm the mascot... - More
I can't even finish the sentence because Summer accidentally throws the
ball over the
room, denying my words.
She finally looks up at me - a murderous lust in her eyes, which is strange
I find it terribly attractive. I clear my throat.
"I'll cheer from the back."
Summer rolls her eyes and mutters something under her breath,
which you know I won't understand anyway.
"Tienes suerte de ser guapo."
Scanning the lounge to see who had come, right away
I spot Miss Nameless. It seems significantly more relaxed than
earlier. Her long, curled, light brown hair sways merrily
around his face as he tilts his head back and laughs at something his friend
says
said. Her face is flushed, her sea blue eyes are sparkling. He seems happy.
I like this.
He notices before I even get to him, and maybe I'm just faking it
myself, but as if he was checking.
"Well, you came!" I say cheerfully, but she doesn't respond. So
I'd rather try with his girlfriend, who is curious. "Nate."
I'm.
"Lola." – Passing his finger between the ice dancing girl and me, he narrows
his eyes. –
Do you know each other?
"We ran into each other earlier," I nod, watching his reaction
ignoring my efforts to get him to look at me. He takes a sip
from his empty glass - and I can see this clearly from my elevated position.
"Although the."
unfortunately I still don't know your name.
He finally stops pretending to drink and looks at me. Now
he just looks a little like he wants to hit me in the face with a hockey stick,
whicha significant development compared to the previous ones.
"Anastasia." Or Stassi. Either one will do, I don't care.
"Can I get you something to drink?" - I ask.
"I can get it myself, thanks."
Lola huffs and rolls her eyes at her friend, then smiles
he looks up at me.
"Never mind him, he doesn't know how to get along with other people."
It's like that
one thing.
"Jeez." Okay, but I'll still help you, Anastasia says as she does
dragging his girlfriend with his free hand, he starts towards the kitchen.
I trot after them and grab the empty glass from his hand. "Not a drink yet."
it will charm me so that I won't be angry about the course, you know that.
I believe that. There is nothing about this girl that suggests
that it won't be a tough nut to crack, and this whole track thing a little bit
makes it more interesting.
"You haven't even seen how charming I can be," I giggle
with a wide smile as I notice the corner of his mouth twitch. "Down."
I will impress you!
He takes the glasses back from my hands, then steps in front of me and
puts them down
to the counter and starts mixing two drinks.
"I'm immune to the charm of hockey players."
Robbie rolls next to me and pokes my leg, then behind the girls,
he stares at me with wide eyes, "What the fuck?" It makes you sad
throat before turning to both girls.
"And what about the charming assistant hockey coaches?"
"Oh, Stassie is definitely immune to them, but I'm not."
Hi, I'm Lola.
"Robbie."
Lola elbows Stassie in the side, and she mumbles a "hi."
"This is Stassie." Now it looks like a ready-made horse blanket, but it's still
very cute.
"Thanks for coming to my party," Robbie thanks, not even taking off his
clothes
rubbish about Lola. I don't know if I should break the water now or fly
impressed by the way she giggled and fluttered her eyelashes at Robbie
in the direction of.
Incredible.
Anastasia's face is a mixture of confusion and amusement, as is her gaze
chatter among our friends."Lols, I'm going to line up in front of the
bathroom." You come? - Lola's eyes first
He flashes to Stassie and then to Robbie again, then shakes his head.
"Alright,
then we'll meet here.
I extend my hand towards him to guide him towards the stairs.
"Come on, you can use my bathroom!" He takes a quick look at the
at my hand, then glances at my face again, his eyes suspicious
narrows. "I have a password-protected door and a private bathroom." But
in
you can also stand in line if you want - I say, lounging on the stairs, drunk
pointing to baggage.
Stassie sighs in defeat, then places her hand in my palm and
links our fingers.
"That doesn't mean I've forgiven."
- Naturally.
Keeping his body close to mine, I navigate through the crowd—
while his free hand rests on my waist—until we reach the stairs.
Here it turns out that he goes up first, and I am immediately surprised,
mistake
was to let go, because as soon as he leaves a few steps behind, every single
one
her gently swaying ass on the steps is right in line with my eyes.
I'll knock you through the door and show you where and how to find the
bathroom
I look at him, after the morning mess, I get a strange feeling of déjà vu. But
At least Stassie is dressed. Wait, why am I saying that
like it's a good thing?
A few minutes later he walks out of the bathroom and stops when
he notices me sitting on my bed waiting for him. I raise it in front of me
defensively
my hand.
"I didn't want you to get involved."
- I'm fine. – He crosses his arms in front of his chest and decides
head to the side, which seems almost teasing. "It's a shame you're here."
I wanted to sniff around.
It's nice to see a different side of you after the one I met this afternoon.
Not that there's anything wrong with showing your feelings,
I just see it as more relaxed.
Now, for the first time, I take a close look at what's on it. Tight
leather pants that look like, seriously, they've been painted on, and a black
one
a lace corset that accentuates her body in a way that I'm not even sure
that I could write around. What I want to say but won't say is,that she is
sexy, and that getting to know her a little better might not be so
it's horrible.
"Don't let my presence deter you from sniffing," I joke.
"I'll wait here."
The room is filled with the echo of the tapping of his heels as he slowly
he starts towards my desk, not taking his eyes off me for a second.
He runs his finger across the pile of biology textbooks on my desk.
- What are you studying?
"Sports medicine, you?"
- Economics. "He picks up a picture from my desk and carefully."
he examines it before turning back to me. "West Coast kid."
obsession?
"Mountain."
"Wyoming?" he asks as he puts down the photo and picks up the one next
to him.
"Close." – I stand up and walk over to the table, I take it from his hand
picture and I'll give you the one in which Robbie and I are the first
at our hockey game, when we were five years old. "Colorado." Eagle
County. You?
"I'm from Seattle." That's Vail over there, isn't it? Rich boyish hockey star
Eagle County is a bit predictable, isn't it? - I sit down on the table
so that our eyes are aligned and imitating his defensive posture
I cross my arms too. "A bit cliche?"
I can't stop my lips from twitching
half-smile as his sea blue eyes look directly into mine.
"Do you think I'm a star?"
Snorting mockingly, he suddenly turns around, crosses the room and sits
down
on my bed. Like some puppy, I want to follow him, but with the strength of
strength
I make myself stay where I am and just watch
she leans back with her hands behind her, and her silky brown hair falls on
her shoulders
collapses
"I've never seen you play," he says a little more cheerfully than he did
I would like to. "I really don't like hockey."
"I am offended, Anastasia." For our next domestic candlelight vigil
I'll get you tickets right next to the track.
"I don't need a ticket to an event like yours."
they keep me in my arena. That is, if you guys don't screw me up before
then
something and disband your team.When he talks about disbanding the
team, almost a little
there is too much optimism in his voice. It's like a human
A jingle would chime in.
"But who did you fuck so much that you screwed it up in return?"
arenas?
This won't be the last time I'm asked this question,
so I have to get used to it, even though I hate lying. That's right, it's a
blessing
a lie, but even then I don't like to start a friendship with insincerity.
"We didn't do anything, so I have no idea." – Contracts the
rubbish, as even the blind can see that he doesn't believe me, so I panic. –
I swear, Anastasia.
His gaze softens, and I immediately feel like crap.
What the hell did I swear?
"Shouldn't we go back downstairs?"
"Yes, of course." Robbie has probably charmed her panties by now
about your girlfriend.
Anastasia starts giggling and it's almost embarrassing how happy it makes
her,
that I finally managed to make him laugh.
"Trust me, Lola really likes to be charmed by one."
sexy guy
This time I have enough sense to go down the stairs ahead of him, tied up
resting our fingers on my shoulders so he wouldn't lose his balance. For
today
I'm on the bottom rung when I spot her boyfriend - about whose existence
I forgot - who stares at me like he's about to meet me
rain down the fire of hell.Chapter five

ANAST ASIA

NATE SUDDENLY STOPS IN FRONT OF ME before I nearly roll down

the stairs.
- What are you doing? I ask, confused, as he practically rips his hand off
from mine. He steps out to the side and as soon as his huge body is no
longer covered by the
view, I glimpse what he saw.
"Your boyfriend looks like he wants to get into it."
"Well, that's strange," I muse, stepping forward to be on the same level
let's stand "Because I don't have a boyfriend."
Let's just say he's right - Aaron really does look like a hair
separates you from killing someone. And it doesn't change a bit as it is
she comes over to me and Nate as we step down the stairs.
"Hali," I chirp. "I thought you were staying home today."
Aaron is still staring at Nate, even as my hand is a
I place it on his arm and squeeze his biceps. Aaron finally towards me
he turns his gaze as his eyebrows run to the center of his forehead.
"What did you do with him up there, anyway?"
I feel Nate next to me, the spirit of his touch lingers on my waist
around. I decide instead of ripping Aaron's head off - which
I would like to - why he behaves so strangely and rudely
in front of an audience, I'll be nice.
"Aaron, this is Nate." Nate, this is Aaron, my skating partner.
You can almost feel the testosterone emanating from the two of them as
they shake hands,
before their fingers turn white as they try to crush the other
his bones. Pathetic. When they finally let each other go, and the blood
flows back into their fingers, I turn to Aaron and, though he doesn't
deserve it,
I force a fake smile on my face.
- Are you okay? Where have you been?
"I asked you first."
"I was peeing, is that a satisfactory answer?" I snap, finally just hatched
of myself.It's been a hell of a long day and I've had to put up with Aaron for
once
his stupidity when he decided after the meeting that Ryan was number one
close enemy.
Ryan wanted to take her out to dinner, which is totally normal, friends
between. Aaron reminded him that he had to be involved, sucking his
teeth in annoyance
I can fit into my clothes made for the regional championship. As if this ever
happened
I could forget, especially around him. Of course, Ryan freaked out and told
him
With Aaron, if he can't lift me, maybe he should be harder
work in the gym.
Aaron didn't like that, of course, so he talked back, and to the end
she was so exhausted by the drama that Ryan had to drive her home.
Unfortunately
knowing that Ryan would have gotten me a hamburger or something
eat, my chicken salad was not nearly as delicious.
So now I'm annoyed and hungry and a little drunk and that's it
again i have to watch aaron fuck his ass and embarrass me.
Aaron raises one eyebrow - he clearly can't believe it
I was just in the bathroom.
"I thought you collected team captains like they were Pokémon."
they would be Where is Rothwell? He's usually the one you can't even
scratch off of you.
His words hit me exactly as he intended, and everything
despite my efforts, a lump grows in my throat. Nate's hand on my back
he hums as he takes a step towards Aaron.
"If you're going to be such an asshole, you better go, buddy." The baggage
just
try to have fun.
"You're poking your nose into a private conversation, man," he replies
Aaron bluntly.
"You're in my house and you're being rude to my guest." Obsession
calm the fuck down or get out of here!
Nate is a big guy, much bigger than Aaron. Half a head
taller, wider, more muscular. Not to mention that he's French
hockey player. Aaron's body is like that of a ballet dancer, strong but
muscular.
Moreover, he had never wrestled in his comfortable, privileged life
with no one, which makes me quite surprised that it goes like this to people
who
but they were already wrestling.
"Sorry, Stas," he says, although my name is a little blurred. "I'll guess who."
I'm stuck now that I know why the track was messed up.
"Nobody knows what happened," Nate snaps.Too fast.
Aaron chuckles, but there isn't an iota of amusement in his voice.
- I know. A rookie couldn't keep his dick in his pants.
He fucked someone's little sister. Then he stepped down. "He's turning
towards me."
the shock on his face is clearly fake. "Still, how bad is this?"
Stas? Wear down a freshman you've done? And now what about us
we suffer.
"That's not what happened," Nate says coolly.
God, I feel so stupid right now. Should not have been
I believe his oath. Of course he knows. My body is tensing up Nate
under his hand, before he quickly catches it and steps aside to give him
some space
me.
"Well, it was fun," I say, almost bored, trying to say nothing
showing no emotion, as it was clear that this was exactly what Aaron was
driving at. –
I'm going home.
"King, we can go together." I'm going to find Lo.
In no time, it's like he's a completely different guy. sometimes it's
like I'm friends with Jekyll and Hyde - the jerk side especially after some
booze
appears. It's an annoying thing, because in most cases it's great anyway
guy, but he's damn good at hiding his sweet side.
As we watch together as Aaron is taken into the crowd, Nate
pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out a frustrated sigh.
"I didn't mean to lie to you."
Putting some distance between the two of us, I turn towards him. He
paints like he does
he's carrying the weight of the whole world on his shoulders, and that
might as well be true.
But I also have my own goals. I love my sport and the ice
my time is just as important as his.
He strokes his face with his hand, then pulls his mouth into a forced smile.
"I don't want it to affect our friendship—I mean, well,
well, for the friendship that could be between us.
"Do you think good friendships start with lies?"
"Well, no," he croaks. "I didn't mean to lie to you." But even the
neither does my team, and I swear it really didn't happen. So is your
partner
lie.
I wish I hadn't come to this party!
"Great, then everyone's lying to me." Fantastic, I say
sarcastically. "Forget it, okay?" The hockey team is about to lose
somehow,the rest of us will, I don't even know, fuck ourselves or
something.
I highly doubt Dr. Andrews, my therapist, who has been around for a long
time
I am happy, I would be impressed by my current behavior. Communication
is a
most important, he says at every meeting for ten years now.
I practically communicate, even if not very well, but it still counts.
I don't know how to tell Nate how stressed he is
for me it's all without seeming like I'm overdramatizing it all.
Maybe I'm not trying hard enough not to react the way Aaron did
wants to, but I blame alcohol and the lack of normal food for that.
As I turn to walk away, Nate grabs my arm.
As I glance back at him over my shoulder, I see his gaze soften.
"I swear, the guy in question just slept with that girl
who, on the other hand, has a boyfriend, which the guy didn't know about.
There is no mention of pregnancy.
It seems sincere, but it seemed so before. Turning towards him, I take a
step back
step to keep the distance between us, but his hand is still a
resting on my arm.
"I don't mean to offend you, but your swearing doesn't give a shit." Your
concept
I don't know how much pressure I'm under and what sacrifices I had to
make
to bring You can't understand how it feels to know that everything stands
or falls
that some kid doesn't know how to pull a tire.
He furrows his brows—perhaps in embarrassment.
– “Stand or fall”? You're exaggerating a bit. If we don't respond
get over it and get it together...
It's like I can literally feel my blood boiling. Clearly a concept
nor what are the consequences of the mistakes made by his team.
He has a whole team behind him who help him win, but only for me
It's Aaron. If we don't practice enough, we won't win. If we don't win,
then we won't make it to the Olympics. If we don't make it to the
Olympics,
so what the hell is the point of it all?
Maple Hills has two arenas for a reason. With a reason from this university
the best athletes come out. And this is that the school has enough space
ensures that we can practice as much as we need to
to be the best.
"Do you think I'm overdramatizing?" You know what, Nate? I say sharply,
as
I shake his hand off me. - Forget it! Don't stand in my way and I won't
either
into you
"Stassi!" he shouts after me as I throw myself into the crowd.But I don't
give a damn about it - which is the beginning of what promises to be a very
long one
for a period when I will not even make a case about it.
At the end of probably the worst day of my life, my annoyance is almost
rises even further, as finding Lola in this house is
as if the man's daughter was looking for Waldo.
I don't see Aaron anywhere, although I'm not quite after his little private
number
not sure if this is good news or bad news.
Ryan is not hard to find - if only because he is still the
he is in the lounge with his basketball buddies. But I didn't expect that
I find him sitting on the couch whispering into Olivia Abbott's ear.
Strangely, my first thought is whether Lola knows it is
his archenemy is here too, but once I shake that off, I'm totally shocked.
I don't think I've ever, like at a single party before
I would have seen Olivia. Even more beautiful up close than on stage -
long,
golden blonde hair shot in like an old hollywood diva's, a
eyes drawn out in a way that wouldn't look right to me even after three
weeks of practice
put together, red lipstick on her perfect lips. She looks like she belongs on
the red carpet
his place, not at a college party.
"Hey, sorry to bother you," I say as I walk up to them. Ryan
he stops whispering and looks up at me. "Didn't you guys see Lola?"
Ryan's face immediately shows concern, although he has no reason to
to worry. Well, except I'm going to babysit Aaron tonight and
you have to help me hide the corpse.
- Everything is alright? Ryan asks cautiously.
"Only Aaron is very Aaron." We are going home.
"It's been a while since I've seen him go into Robbie's room," she says
Olivia quietly. "I can see to it that you get home at once."
if you have to go. I haven't been drinking, my car is parked here in front of
the house.
"Need some help with Aaron?" Ryan softens.
"Olivia, if you do, I will love you until the end of time," I promise.
as I heave a sigh of relief now that I know Lo
it will be fine. "Once he's pissed himself off, Aaron won't be a problem
anymore."
I'm sorry we couldn't chat, Olivia. You are very beautiful. Then
next time we will meet properly. But my Uber is waiting outside
so i have to go.
Olivia flashed me a shy smile.
"That would be great." See you soon!"Text me when you get home, okay?"
Ryan calls after me as I walk away.
"I'm serious, Stas." Do not forget!
I know, it might be weird to think that the guy you're with
he sleeps every now and then and is the enemy of his best friend
they can get together, but a Rothwell + Abbott couple is exactly that kind
of relationship
would make teenage girls cry their eyes out because it's so perfect.
This whole thing between me and Ryan works so well because I don't
I want a relationship and he's not interested. If you could find someone to
be with
he wants to date, I would never stand in his way. You deserve to be loved
like
as well as to make him happy because he's such a great guy.
He would be Olivia's biggest supporter and might even know it from her
armor
to lure the girl a little. I don't know Olivia yet, but even if she does
the roles she longs for, Lola can't deny that either
Olivia seems like a very cute girl.
I can't wait to see what comes out of this.

I STARTED WORKING AT Simone's Skating Rink IN MY FIRST YEAR,

when
Rosie, a friend of a friend, mentioned that her mom was looking for a
helper.
The price of textbooks kept rising, and I couldn't ask my parents
money since they already paid for all my skate stuff. Simone, the owner,
he paid for the course to get me the coaching qualification, which it
meant that on Saturdays I could teach classes for children under the age of
ten.
- Everything is alright? Simone asks as she enters the lounge where it is
sitting at the table, I'm just trying to decide what to eat.
- Yeah, of course. I think I'll get some lunch before my next class.
"There is a very handsome young man at the door who is interested in you"
he says with a wink. "I saw that he also had food with him."
When I venture out to the reception desk, I see that it's Simone's
he was right - there really is a very handsome young man there.
Ryan screams terribly at the roaring six-year-old energy bombs surrounding
him
of. The moment he notices me, his tired gaze softens,
and the corner of his mouth curls up. He lifts it in both hands
paper bags.
"Would you like a lunch date?"
"I'll have another lesson one day." You can eat it all in thirty minutes
under?"I can do a lot in thirty minutes, Anastasia, and this."
you should know by now.
We settle down at a quiet table in the corner by the buffet, Ryan
unpacks the food.
"Before you start yelling at me, I brought you chicken and eggs."
salad... and also bacon and cheese fries and chicken nuggets,
because I saw you posted this morning about how important balance is.
I just roll my eyes at that, since I don't even know which of us is going to
start
becoming more and more predictable.
"Balance is really important, don't mess around!" Thanks anyway. No
you should have brought lunch—well, two lunches—but I appreciate it.
Finally
where did you end up last night
Ryan bites into his cheeseburger and stuffs some fries into his mouth,
and moans happily.
"In West Hollywood, at the Honeycomb." I went a little overboard.
"With Olivia?"
I could swear she's blushing a little.
"No, unfortunately Liv went home." Stop looking at me like that!
"Oh, so you're 'Liv' now?" I'm excited for you too. I have every right
you've got it to get me excited, so you can't stop me. It already is
You haven't dated anyone in a long time, and although I don't know you
very well, based on what
I saw her, she seems like a nice girl.
"I'm not dating him, you drama queen!" We just exchanged numbers.
"That's the first step on the road to marriage."
Ryan huffs, then shrugs and wipes his hands on a napkin.
- We'll see. Why can't you come to me, Allen?
"Why did you skip me being your girlfriend and come straight to the."
for marriage?
"Why are we dating when we're already best friends?" The dating
scary. It's lavish sex and someone who doesn't throw tantrums
because of my schedule? I bought it by the kilo, I'm already putting the ring
on it. Maybe
would you accept an onion ring instead of a diamond?
"I'm not throwing a tantrum about your schedule because I'm too busy."
to even notice that you are busy - I say as it is
I lean forward and nudge his arm. "Olivia's a good girl, Ry." Take it
go on a date and see how it goes. In the worst case, it willyou can tell your
future children that you dated a Hollywood
or a Broadway star, whatever Olivia ends up being.
"Do you think it's a good idea for me to take advice from you?" The biggest
from a commitment-phobe?
There is something in this.
"Okay, I'll ask you out, but if things go horribly wrong,
Anastasia, then I will hold you responsible.
"That's fair."
"You don't want to tell me what that whole thing was with Aaron?" "I hear
the."
in his voice that he's trying really hard to sound calm, like it's all one
I wouldn't care at all. In fact, however, based on the twelve SMS that it is
sent to me at various points of the night yesterday, precisely aware
I agree that your side is really full of curiosity.
"He made a comment that I collect team captains by
like other Pokémon, I say slowly, stretching out the words while
I open the box of my chicken nuggets and pop one in my mouth. - Saw,
that I was coming down the stairs with Nate Hawkins, and he immediately
assumed that
I slept with him.
"What the hell is wrong with that guy anyway?" mutters Ryan as
aggressively thrusts his fries into the ketchup. "I have no idea how."
or able to spend that much time with him. Even if you had slept together
With Hawkins, no one would have anything to do with him either. Single
woman
or who does whatever he wants.
- I know I know. But then Aaron revealed that he found out what
happened to the
with a messed up course, when Nate and a few minutes before him back
and forth
swore that neither he nor anyone else knew what had happened, so from
that
there was a minor dispute.
“Aaron is an ass, Stassie. It's not nice that Hawkins lied,
at the same time, you must put your team first. It's not the same as me
I would lie to you or something, there is no trust between you yet. Sure
I'm sure you understand, right?
"Yes, of course I understand, but when I tried to explain it to him,
no matter how much the case affects me, he acted as if I was
overdramatizing the
thing. And it doesn't matter whether he's right or not. But how
let's be equal partners when the self doesn't even try
see things from my perspective?"Being a captain is no small task, I already
know it."
You have to think about twenty-one people, not just yourself.
They all expect you to stick up for them, no matter how stupid you are
they also practiced nonsense. But Hawkins is a good guy, so don't hold that
against him!
I have a fierce wolfeye duel with nuggetseye as he is unable to
I'm looking Ryan in the eye while talking about logical things like that
explain.
Ryan chuckles a line, then leans forward to pull the
my attention.
"You're going to hold this against him, aren't you?"
"Of course, without a doubt." For eternity. Even longer if you get together.
They threw us a huge curveball, so all of them
I will avoid it like the plague.
Ryan laughs before he can say anything.
"You know there's a curveball in baseball, not the
in hockey?Chapter Six

NO THAN

THE PAST THREE WEEKS have been one of the most stressful periods of
my life.
Aaron Carlisle - God, even his name sounds so dopey -
he was talking to everyone who was willing to listen to him. Into this
including his coach, who told our coach, who told this
he started threatening to rip our limbs off if anyone
don't explain it to him fucking fast, but what the hell is going on here.
Lately I've been spending more time being yelled at and the
with a team, like on the ice. The guys who trashed the field are UCLA
members of his hockey team, which university is our oldest rival. Aaron
didn't
he completely lied: the girl is really pregnant, but that has nothing to do
with it
To Russ.
The poor kid didn't know anything about it all - just that
he thought he had managed to knock over someone's girl. Then when his
brother about everything
found out, she panicked and blamed Russ for what happened.
I guess it was easier to blame a stranger, and I doubt that the
she would have thought her brother would come and screw up our arena.
Russ has aged about ten years since this all started. THE
relief that crossed his face when I told him what we were
actually happened, it was unbelievable. Faulkner and I had a meeting at
With UCLA's coach and team captain, who shared with us the full
story. I've known Cory O'Neill, the captain, for a couple of years now, and
the guy just
he was as stuck as I was.
It was like when Dr. Phil announces the paternity test
result - although in terms of style this band would be better suited to Jerry
Springer.
Perhaps I don't need to say that we are all on thin ice right now
we dance at Faulkner's. He said that the next idiot who is anything
he does nonsense, benching him for the whole season. He said,
cuts off our post-college options - giving up every single game,
until we learn to behave.So for the rest of the year I'll be a ready fallen
angel,
because I'm not sure if Vancouver would need me even if
if they knock me out, or if they tear off a few of my limbs, that's out of the
question,
to go back to Colorado after I leave this behind
place.
Well, what a cliché it is for the guy who has enormous privileges
grew up, do you have a father complex? Yes. But excuse me, father
a huge ass. I'm sure they haven't been hugged enough
in childhood, and now makes it a problem for me and my sister.
Fortunately, I've already managed to drag it a thousand miles away, but
poor Sasha still has to put up with our father since he's just
sixteen. Although I don't think it will drag you away from home even if you
load the
eighteen. The underrated, overworked skiing wonder remains.
Dad is willing to pay serious money all over the northern hemisphere
to her coach if it means Sash could be the next Lindsey V onn.
Ideally without damage, although I'm not sure
our father is very worried about Sasha's safety. All she wants is her
daughter
win.
Fortunately, Dad hates hockey. Careless, violent sports they are
for those who lacked self-discipline and long for chaos, he says
always. So many years ago, Mom signed me up for Mr. H's team. Just then
she got pregnant with Sasha and needed something to wear her out
ever-moving five-year-old.
Contrary to my father's hopes, skiing did not work out, and proudly
I can say that since then I have disappointed him every single day. Not
even that
he wouldn't be surprised if I told him what's going on around here now, but
this
it would only work if I answered his calls, but not very often
I used to.
Besides, he would find a way to blame it all on me.
Robbie's stare is so intense I can almost feel his gaze
burning my skin, pulling me out of my thoughts.
Cuddling him is one of my favorite pastimes, and that's why
they realize why JJ likes being an asshole so much. Robbie in line
he throws things on the floor, taps his phone against the TV remote, and
after a good ten minutes of doing so, he could not get any reaction
squeezes out of me, starts coughing loudly.I stare stubbornly at the TV and
suppress the urge to
I grin. Mike Ross is about to win another case when
Henry nudges him in the side with his elbow.
"Robbie is trying to get your attention." You right now
do you do it from above?
"Great question, Henry, thank you!" Robbie shouts dramatically. - Direct
are you coming at me nathan
When I finally turn to her, she looks at me like a grumpy mom.
"Sorry, buddy." Did you say something?
Robbie mutters something under his mustache, then exhales loudly.
"Have you organized my birthday party yet?"
"You mean your surprise birthday party?" The one about which specifically
did you say you don't want to know anything? That, you know, a real
surprise
be?
Six weeks ago, Robbie said he had a surprise party for his birthday
asks, as party planning is said to be very stressful and time-consuming
up. He didn't want to mess with the logistics of his own birthday, so this is
the
task fell on me. I told him that if it's such a big deal, so be it
you don't have to organize our parties anymore. Then they're an asshole
called me and told me to grow up.
"If the surprise is that you didn't organize any shit, then thanks,
I do not need it.
Henry immediately jumps up, his eyes dart between me and Robbie, and
then
he starts running towards the stairs. Robbie follows with narrowed eyes
his receding form, then turns to me again. I don't care about the whole
thing
and I pretend I have no idea that Henry has been here for weeks
trying not to spoil the surprise. The kid has no poker face
there isn't, and he managed to convince himself now that there were only a
few days left
until the party, he will fail at the last hurdle.
"Calm down, Robert," I say, fully aware that
by using his full name, I'm only going to draw him up even more. - THE
stress is not good for your old heart.
I would have thought we were done with this, but instead Robbie scratches
him
his chin and hums a line. It is not typical for Mr. Self-confidence
it was difficult for him to express himself, so now he managed to do it on
his own
to attract my attention, as he wanted so far.
"Perhaps…perhaps you invited Lola?"Oh, this is going to be fun.
"Who?"
I just manage to dodge the pillow thrown at me.
"Don't be an ass, Nathaniel." You know exactly who I'm talking about.
Three weeks ago, while I was on that unimaginable way
I'll screw it up with Stassie, Robbie is her best friend
met. He refuses to say exactly what happened, saying he
that he is a gentleman, but it is not difficult to conclude after Lola
Saturday afternoon he left in one of Robbie's T-shirts.
I haven't seen her since then so I thought it was a one night stand
just between them, but judging by Robbie's nervous look, maybe not.
"Would you like him to come?" In the hypothetical case that there might
be
party?
"We keep in touch, so yeah." Theoretically.
Robbie has no trouble getting a girl, but I can't pretend
as if he wouldn't change them if he got bored of them. The fact that they
talk and don't
they're just having sex with Lola, a good sign.
- I bought. Are you ready to workout? I ask, carefully changing the subject.
before I divulge the secret details of the party.
"Yeah, just wait, I'll get my warmer first."
Fuck it. Now I have to find a way to get it here
Lola.

JJ RUNS ACROSS OUR STREET as I put Robbie's chair in my car

into the trunk. After I press the button to lower the
hawk-wing doors, I get behind the wheel, I put the car in reverse,
thereby automatically locking the doors.
JJ bangs on the window, panting and mumbling unintelligibly
I open a crack to hear.
"Don't you dare leave me here, you filth!"
"Hurry!" - I stare back as I watch in horror as the
heads for the front door to pick up the stuff. I would even regret
if I didn't know that since last night with one of the cheerleaders of the
soccer team
stirred.
Having to share the field means every day
there is training at a different time. Because it's practically their arena,
Coach Bradyhe insisted that we train, the figure skaters were fixed in
advance
for your schedule. Many of them will have a competition soon, and the
coach
stated that our total cooperation and submission
except that he refuses to accept anything.
Aubrey Brady is a fucking terrifying woman with an iron fist
clutching Faulkner's balls. As soon as he found out why the
our track, he used this information to corner Skinner,
and get the director to bow to all his demands,
so now we are practically his slaves.
Let's say I can't condemn him for that, since he is only for his own
competitors
he has his own interests in mind, but I soon got tired of everything
Someday I'm half-heartedly going to fuck Stassie. As in as in
to see how sexy she looks in her skating outfit. So what
watch him banter with that asshole's skating partner - oh well
you think, I'm tired of that too.
And pretty quickly.
Most of the time, Stassie looks at me like she likes me the most
he would set me on fire, or the other possibility is that he doesn't even look
at me. The girl is very
he can hold a grudge professionally, which, as it turns out, is for everyone
but Henry
goes out
Last week, Henry saw Anastasia studying alone in the library. Bought
bought him a coffee, explained the whole Russ thing, apologized profusely
asked, told her that she totally understood why he was so freaked out
so now the kid is the only one of us that stassie isn't in a meatloaf with.
"Why do you always need girls who don't like you?" –
Henry asked me one day after Stassie stormed past us,
while he still managed to flash a sweet smile. – Summer,
Kitty, Anastasia… Why?
"Shit, Hen," JJ sputtered as he managed to swallow his water. –
Just kick the guy some more while he's on the floor, huh?
"I don't know, kid," I admitted as I put my arm around his shoulders
I twisted as his face flushed at the laughter of the guys. "Find it."
a decent girl for me, who I like and I'll give her a chance.
JJ snorted.
“The guy's not some fucking miracle worker, Hawkins.
Robbie claims that if he wanted to, he could be good with Anastasia,
Jaiden
to which he said that he prefers to play the mysterious one anywaythe role
of a bad boy. As for me, I would be willing to kneel on his feet
before and to plead for his forgiveness, but I have a sneaking suspicion that
this
he would use it as an excuse to kick you in the head.
As I park next to the track, I tell the guys what's going on
I'll meet you inside, then I quickly jump out of the car and towards the
entrance
I jog. Anastasia drops her skates into her bag just as
I open the door - he looks up at the noise, but then his face
he grimaces when he realizes it's just me.
Charming.
I sit down on the bench next to her bag and clear my throat.
"Anastasia?"
His eyes meet mine and he immediately purses his lips in annoyance
makes you happy.
- What do you want?
- I would like to ask a favor.
- No.
"You haven't even heard what it's about."
"I don't even need to hear it." My answer is no.
"What if I said the matter is terribly important to both of us."
your best friend?
He sighs – which I'm quite used to by now – and then on his hips
puts his hand
"Okay, I hear you." Tell me.
“Robbie's twenty-first birthday is this Saturday, and
I will throw him a surprise party. He would like Lola to come too… maybe
could you give him the message? Of course you are invited too.
"Okay."
Victory, maybe.
"Great, thanks." The theme is Vegas, so come in the evening. free booze
poker tables, all goodness. I hope you come. You would make me very
happy
with Robbie.
- Okay. – He starts towards the door, which opens just as it does
guys flock to it. As he passes by, Henry pats him
his arm and shouts a "Hi!" before the kid blushes again.
When Stassie is officially out of earshot, JJ goes into a vise grip
he grabs my neck and starts laughing evilly as I try to shake him off
about me."You're getting out of shape, Hawkins." The kid is doing better
girls like you.
"I don't want to go with him," Henry snaps quickly, nervously
scratches his chin. "I'm just trying to be nice to him, you know."
like us again And she has a boyfriend anyway.
"That's just her skating partner, not her boyfriend." He doesn't have that,
he himself
He told.
Henry shakes his head.
"Not him, but Ryan Rothwell." I saw them hugging last week.
"Hugging isn't exactly a sign that two people are dating, Hen."
Kris and Mattie would walk half the campus if that were the case, says one
Robbie
accompanied by snoring.
"They just smacked me, the guy rubbed his ass," adds Henry.
Great.
When we all finally got ready to train, Aaron still
he's messing around on the ice. You cocky little prick, I seriously can't
stand it. And this
Nothing to do with Stassie - the guy is the worst energy imaginable
he oozes it and that's enough to make me hate him. Of course, that's not
the case either
it helps that he fucked us all with that lousy mouth.
I know I said it had nothing to do with it, but one thing
what I can't stand about the guy is the way he talks to Anastasia when he's
on the ice
are. I didn't want to call him an asshole at the party because
he was clearly fired up, but due to their schedule, their training in many
cases
they are either before or after ours.
When we either get here earlier or we're packing, I usually do
to hear him tell him not to be clumsy today or the world
he tells her in the most condescending tone that one day they will just get
together
for him this and that.
It sucks, but it's none of my business. Anastasia is not the kind of girl
it must be protected, and even if I tried, it would probably only do so
I'd be high on your list of people you'd most like to set on fire.
When he hears us coming, Aaron finally derails to the sidelines.
When he notices, his mouth pulls into the most cocky grin possible.
Already
now he's testing my patience and he hasn't even spoken. Sure
I'm sure that if I punched him in the face, I would already feel much better
myself. But as I recall what Faulkner told us about howlet's behave, I'd
rather take a deep breath. Do you see? I can
behave like an adult.
"He won't take me to his bed." You're just wasting your time.
"Come on?"
Don't cut it in the face. Don't cut it in the face. Don't cut it in the face.
"You heard me right." - He sits down on the bench, not caring about my
shocked face
starts to lace up his skates.
The guys are carrying the goals onto the ice, Robbie with Faulkner
talking, otherwise I would expect confirmation from them that he is really
fine
Have I heard this shit?
"You think he's just playing hard to get, but he's not." The iciest
his heart is in it. It will drag you along like Rothwell-
he does it too, so don't worry.
This is a fucking asshole.
"You're a big ass, you know that?" I tell him cheekily.
He throws his skates into his bag and starts to lace up the other one,
while looking up at me with a grin.
"The truth hurts, man."
"I'm not fucking your friend." "I clench my fists and."
while trying desperately not to lose my mind. "Ha."
but once again I hear you talk about it like that, about the track
pick your teeth.
Aaron flashed me a sweet smile. I squeeze so hard
I put my hands together so that my fingers crack, but Aaron is like that
he does so that he even bumps into my shoulder as he walks away
next to me. When he reaches the exit, he turns back to me for a second.
"I will be delighted to watch him turn you into a finished slipper,
to then dump him just like he does with everyone else.
Have a good workout.Chapter seven

ANAST ASIA

TEAM-BUILDING.
A word. Twelve letters. Two hours of hell.
– We will do some simple exercises to break the
ice, Brady announces to the crowd. He sounds so enthusiastic.
as I feel. I know you're not in the mood for all this,
since he complained about it all the way here. Coach Faulkner is by his
side, and so is he
at least he looks like he'd rather be anywhere else.
David Skinner - who is becoming a significant hump on my back - wants
some
to see an improvement in the dynamics between the two teams. Brady told
me it was Skinner
he jumped in just when Ruhi, one of the younger solo figure skaters,
he was just arguing with one of the hockey guys for disrupting his practice.
Skinner was thus able to witness Ruhi's very creative hockey words
user's offences.
So now we're doing team building.
What a great way to waste two hours of literally anything
I could spend it with someone else. With that much force, I could even
throw the
my deadline diary, as it seems everyone is busy these days
he sucks at my routine.
Faulkner clears his throat, then looks at Brady for guidance.
Outside of the ice rink, he looks so half-assed, out of place, and
if I didn't wallow in self-pity, for again a
stuck in an awards hall, I'd probably even find it funny.
"I'm sure you've heard of speed dating before-"
says Brady. – My skaters will all sit down at a table.
Hockey team, and you will switch tables every five minutes.
"For the record: this is not a real date," Faulkner finally says. - THE
the goal is to get to know each other a little better. Talk to the
about your plans, your hobbies, the name of your dog, I don't care, but be
yourselfthey are respectful. Hughes, Hudson, Carter and Johal, just to
clarify, that's you
it's for the four of you.
The four guys pretend to be shocked as their teammates
they laugh.
"It's a joke," Aaron groans. "We are not children."
As much as it pains me to agree with Aaron,
it is still so. In the last three weeks, he has given himself and
he behaved so it was a dream to work with him. He even took me out to
dinner
us with Lola to Aiko, a fancy Japanese restaurant, which we don't have
anyway
I could afford it.
He seems to have pulled himself together, and for that I am beyond
grateful.
I haven't seen Ryan much lately as he spends a lot of time with Olivia, but
whenever he comes over, Aaron is always terribly polite to him. I'm trying
to notice the positives so that Aaron doesn't start nagging.
"It might be fun." Some of them are quite good.
Henry Turner, one of the sophomores on the team, really snuck into the
to my heart. One day last week it was about the social responsibility of
companies
I was stressing on my solo essay in the library when she is terribly anxious
came to me with a picture. He introduced himself, said that he was a
member of the hockey team,
and that he heard what happened. He said he couldn't reveal too much,
but that's about it
still want to explain.
And then he managed to tell everything about everyone.
Henry started with Nathan ending it at that moment
to all the funny traditions that he became a captain. Heaven and earth
he swore there was nothing the team, including Nathan, could have done
to prevent this disaster.
To Russ, who set that girl up—well, as it turns out, he didn't
he made it up - things aren't going well at home, and that's the only way he
could do it
to step from that he worked incredibly hard to complete
receive a scholarship.
Nathan knew that if they found out what had happened, Russ could lose
him
his scholarship, and since his parents would not be able to pay the tuition,
he is forced to
would be to return to the life he had worked so hard to
get out. Nathan didn't even entrust the information to his own team—
he is so protective of Russ, despite his wrongdoing.
Henry wanted me to know that Russ wasn't some cocky, rich guy
she is short, but quiet and tries not to get into trouble, and that Henry is
doing thishe can sympathize a lot because he is like that himself. Not much
in the first year
was a friend of hers - even though she's from Maple Hills, the university is
terribly overwhelming
was for him.
He hated coli, but since he had no friends to hang out with
would have been forced to either stay there or move home. To this Nathan
offered him a room in their house, although it is almost unheard of in the
team
it is considered a thing to live with a second-year graduate. From this fact
starting out, he explained to me what a good face his captain is, and
although now
I'm mad at him, I could really give him a chance.
After sharing about all the team members I don't even know yet
some gossip with me, he ended his little speech by saying that I am the
the most beautiful figure skater you've ever seen. After which he quickly
clarified,
that he thinks about my performance and not my looks, and when he
doesn't
I fall on my ass or move like a baby giraffe, my performance
impressive.
And if I hadn't liked him enough after that, he brought me coffee and
helped me learn.
Brady claps his hands to let us begin. The room from Aaron
I sit on the opposite side. Maybe, lately
he acts friendly, but even then I don't want him to interrogate the
my conversations.
These five-minute conversations will work, right? It's only half past two
minutes per person. I can talk about myself for two and a half minutes.
This will work.
I think.
My first "couple" sits opposite me and immediately relaxes me with the
with a big smile. His short-cropped hair bleached the golden brown skin of
his arms
he is decorated with detailed black tattoos, which I can see because of his
sleeve
at that moment he put up with sitting down, then he winked at me.
His jaw is covered with a short beard, and a small silver ring glitters in his
nose.
He seems like the kind of guy you can get into a big fight with.
but in the best sense of the word.
He holds out his hand to me, which seems strangely formal.
"Jaiden Johal, but you can call me JJ."
This is all so embarrassing, but I'm going with it anyway.
"Anastasia Allen, but Stassie will do, too."
"Oh, I know exactly who you are." I consider it my personal mission to
to know every single woman who takes down Nate Hawkins. LargeI'm a
fan of you.
I'm blushing already, so great.
"Thank you?" I think. Tell me about yourself! We have to fill it somehow
these five minutes.
The room is filled with the noise of people talking, which seems like a good
sign. JJ's leg
he stretches out and makes himself comfortable in his chair.
"I'm twenty-one years old." Scorpio Sun, Moon and Ascendant.
I'm from Nebraska, and if you've ever been to Nebraska, you know
that you can't fucking do anything there. He rubs his face
to give yourself time to think about what to say next. "Defensive."
I play position and after graduation I will go to the San José Marlins.
I hate pickles. Faulkner said about sexual things
we can't talk so I have no idea what else to say.
I take a quick look at my phone - ninety seconds so far
volt.
"I'm twenty-one too." I'm from Seattle, I'm single, and
I work at Simone's Skating Rink. I've been figure skating since I was little,
always in pairs, and we've been partners with Aaron since freshman year. –
I start to squirm uncomfortably in my chair, wishing JJ
he would still be talking about himself. – Our goal is to enter the American
team and make it to the next Olympics. "Why is this so hard?"
whole? "I'm studying economics." You want to know my big three
my ticket?
He nods enthusiastically.
- Of course.
– Virgo Sun and Ascendant, Cancer Moon. – JJ immediately hisses and
shakes his head
shake it. - What's wrong?
"Cancer moon." That's a big red flag.
"Tell me the triple scorpion?"
Jaiden raises his hands defensively, hazel eyes widening.
"I'll let you know that we are completely misunderstood."
Glancing at the clock, I see that we still have a minute left.
"Sixty seconds." There's something else?
Then he starts rubbing his palm in such a way that I start to worry, but
what?
is about to ask.
"If you could choose, you'd rather have a fish head, but a human body, or...
would you rather keep your head and have a dead body?I just stare at him
for at least thirty seconds because
I am unable to formulate any kind of answer. It knocks the
a watch on his wrist.
"Tick tock, Stassie." Time is about to expire.
- I do not know.
"Ten, nine, eight, seven..."
"Fish head and human body." I think. God, this is so undi
to think about it.
"It's a great choice," he praises. He seems satisfied with my answer.
Brady blows his whistle to signal it's time to change. JJ winks again
towards me, which will undoubtedly make me blush. "I hope we'll see each
other again."
Time just flies as the guys at my table follow one another.
Three freshmen asked for my number, a guy named Bobby in five minutes
through he was talking about a girl instead of him, when a girl named
Mattie
guy realized that we have an hour together, our whole five minutes with
that
spent that he asked me to explain to him our latest house, the
and he wrote my answers in his mobile phone.
The next time the whistle blows, Robbie rolls over to my table,
and finally it's nice to see someone I know more or less.
"Anastasia."
"Robbie." I'm surprised to see you here.
There might be something between Lola and Robbie, but I'm not sure
in it. Even Lola herself isn't entirely sure. The moment that
found out we were going to have "team building", I was given strict
instructions to find out
Who.
- How are you?
- I'm fine. I hoped that the next four minutes and—
glance at your watch - you'll spend twenty-eight seconds
that you are telling me about your roommate.
Lola is going to blow her brains out when I get home. This is my life
four minutes at best. Lo is an open book - what you see is what you get.
Easy
to tell someone else about it, as he loves everything and he is all time
his most loving and supportive friend.
I'm almost ashamed to say it, but Joe and Kris are dead funny, so
that I am forced to press my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing
out loud, which is annoying since I couldn't think of more
add a hockey player to the list of people I don't consider a hump on my
back.It was just that Henry would be on that list, until the end of time.
The ten minutes of laughter came just in time, since I am in such a good
mood,
when Russ sits down at my table.
At this point, it seems unnecessary to describe hockey players,
because the only word that comes to mind when I look at them is big. This
is Russ
is no exception, but the only thing that makes him different from his
friends is his baby face.
Unlike the others, he doesn't have a beard. Her eyes are large and soft—
like a puppy.
I've never noticed this before, even though I haven't seen him yet
from close. On top of that, he also seems nervous as hell, when I can think
of what
said Henry about being a quiet guy.
"I'm Stassie." And you're Russ, right?
He nods as the tips of his ears turn red.
"Yes." Nice to meet you. Would you like to tell us about yourself?
something? I can't tell you anything interesting.
Oh Russ, why do you have to be such a shy puppy when I want to be angry
be on you?
I start doing the same crap that all the other guys do
I performed. Russ asks questions to get me to talk more and what
the whistle blows and he continues standing, I still don't know anything
about him
neither.
- Nice to meet you! he says gently to me
let.
The task is almost over, and it's terribly annoying that
practically achieved the desired effect. After I listened to it
the desires and goals of all of them, it's hard to be grumpy about having to
to share the field with the guys.
I mean, I said it was hard. It is not impossible.
I know on an exclusive basis, only two are back. The social
my battery is starting to give up the fight, but I'm still trying to get it
together
myself because I know it will be worth it when Henry throws himself a
in the chair opposite me.
"There's no need for that, is there?" he mumbles as he puts his elbows on
the table
supports him, and puts his head in his palm. "Why should I know what his
name is?"
someone's childhood favorite, or when the
their birthday? Only hackers are interested in such things. Me too
I just don't like computers.I am shocked.
In the few face-to-face meetings we have, Henry is always like that
he was calm and relaxed, as if he had just come from a massage. Seems,
Skinner has managed to find the one thing that hangs him: it
forced socialization.
"Please don't tell me about your pets, Anastasia," she begs.
as he runs a hand through his short auburn locks and sighs. "There isn't."
I can pretend to care.
"Would you like to sit quietly?" There will be only one person left after me.
You can have a little rest before the finale.
"That's a great idea, thanks."
Henry closes his eyes and I have no choice but to
I watch him take a little rest. This makes me feel so weird
at the same time, what else could I do? Henry could even go as a model if a
hockey would not suit him. Perfectly symmetrical face, smooth, radiant
brown skin and the sharpest cheekbones I've ever seen on a guy. Beautiful.
"I can feel you staring." Would you stop please?
I'm glad she keeps her eyes closed so she can't see what it's like
my face also turned terribly red. Brady's whistle blows and Henry
with just one fleeting glance in my direction, he catches me.
There's only one person I haven't faced yet, and that's it
the person I fear the most. It takes forever - or
at least it feels that way - when it takes up space. A Maple Hills Titans t-
shirt
and he's wearing gray sweatpants, and I'm hating myself for it
I'm a woman who is turned on by a guy in gray sweatpants. THE
damn it. No, there won't be any dizziness here.
"Hali," he says cheerfully. "I'm Nathan Hawkins."
"Now you're going to play the idiot here for me, huh?"
Ignoring my question, he raises an eyebrow next to his ear.
- And you?
"Nathan, what are you doing anyway?" I ask as I put my arm around her
my hand and lean back in my chair. Nathan imitates exactly. From the
outside
it may seem that we are the least approachable table, which is that
let's be honest, maybe it is.
"Let's start over!" Everyone likes a fresh start, right? Well
then let's do the same. You can't be mad at me forever."I plan on being
mad at you for more than eternity, so there you go."
I feel like you are grossly underestimating me. "He laughs at that, but I
don't."
I know what to do with myself, because I want to smile too
song.
Fuck it.
"Your dedication to the cause is commendable, Allen," he coos. –
I already know you're a figure skater, studying economics, and Seattle-
you come from I also managed to find out that sometimes it is a nightmare
come true
or, at the same time, you can be very sweet. "Immediately at that."
My eyebrows run to the middle of my forehead from confusion, and
Nathan quickly
he adds, "In Henry's direction, not me."
"Henry is nice to me."
His face becomes a little gloomy at this, his charming mask cracks a little.
"I want to be nice to you too." Look, I'm sorry I lied.
My hands were tied and I had to put Russ first. Honestly
I want to be your friend, Anastasia.
"I know and I understand." You don't know me, you can't trust me or what
and that's okay. I understand that, but when I tried to tell you,
how I feel so you can be aware of my point of view, all of it
you settled it by saying I was overreacting.
I feel so naive for sharing this with him, but enough is enough
I've had therapy in my life to try
to communicate my feelings. Everyone keeps saying Nathan is good
guy, so now I'm giving him a chance to prove it.
"I can understand why you wanted to avoid me after that." "With his
hand."
he digs into his hair, pulling the strands as if he is angry with himself. –
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have acted like that. Can we start over?
Then Brady's whistle blows for the last time, but Nathan doesn't move.
He waits for me to answer, his brown eyes almost straight into my fucking
soul
see.
"This puts you on probation." "I sigh."
As he grins widely, the heat floods my cheeks again.
"I'm going to do damn well."
"You do better."
Shit, shit, shit.Eighth chapter

NO THAN

ROBBIE WAS RIGHT: PARTY ORGANIZING is hard work.

However, the most difficult part of today was what to do with him
let's start. He was greased to keep Joe and Mattie occupied all day until
the rest of us are here waiting for them to bring everything out and prepare
the place.
It was a perfect plan.
Until Robbie found out that it was him
you have to stay at home because today the courier will bring what you
ordered. It wasn't enough
that I stay at home - he had to take care of that himself.
After Joe, Robbie is the smartest guy I know, that's why
i know he did this 100% to set us up. Finally
then he just left with the guys and thirty seconds later he was gone
the van arrived with the tables. The courier Robbie was supposed to be
waiting for,
there was no news or ashes.
Dirt.
Every time I think I know everything about my friends, we start
something like turning your house into a casino and you realize
how annoying they really are.
The house looks fantastic. I didn't skimp on anything, not even a drop
sorry No matter how big the hump is on my back, Robbie deserves it.
The best decision I ever made was renting one outright
equipped bar, including mixer. The bar has been moved to the back
terrace, which is a
it can be accessed through double doors in the kitchen and is lavishly
painted.
Bobby and Kris had great fun naming the cocktails and
I think when Robbie hears you're a Mezbubus
order a judge Judy, she will like it very much.
We all agreed not to explain to anyone where it comes from
Judge Judy. It's more fun to leave the guests to guess, but a
the real reason is that when Robbie was in the hospital for weeks after his
accident
he only looked at Judge Judy through.Now, whenever he's hungover, he
sprawls out on the couch in the living room
and watching your favorite show. No one is allowed to talk during it, and
no one should ever oppose the judge's decision.
When he moved in with us, Henry had no idea what it was all about—
let's say I don't think it's there yet - but he knows just like we do
in such cases you must remain silent.
"We're painting sexy," notes JJ as he looks at the
in a tuxedo-clad gang. For the guys right before the party starts
have to get back so they have time to shower and put on the
their tuxedos. We all wanted to be ready as soon as he got back.
let's give Robbie the full Vegas feel.
"Do you think Lola and Anastasia will come?" asks Henry a
showing off his bow tie.
"I hope so, mate." Robbie wants Lola here and I don't want to
to disappoint him on his birthday.
"Then it has nothing to do with you wanting to make up and."
getting into a kissing fight with Stas, huh? laughs Bobby.
I raise my eyebrows.
"Since when do you call him 'Stas' anyway?"
"We're friends now." That team building crap worked.
I like him.
Well that's great.
Fortunately, the guys make it back in time, and not long after
the party is going on big, thanks to which I don't have time to digest myself
that my friends are supposed to be Anastasia's friends.
One of my smartest ideas was invite only
let's go to the party. For starters, just because you're only human
then whisper those words on this campus that free booze if
wants to go bankrupt.
And secondly, this way, with the guest list in hand, I was able to set up
Tim, that is
one of the newcomers to the door. So now I don't have to worry about him
running away
something that causes trouble and messes things up.
Tim's success as a doorman depends a lot on actually being at the door
stand, so the fact that I can see him right now with his little clip board a
to cut through the lounge in hand, does not promise much hope
regarding security.
- What's wrong?"Nothing, kapi." I mean, well. The girls you told me about
have arrived
let me listen Lola Mitchell and Anastasia Allen.
Thank God.
"Alright, and what's wrong?"
"Well, I told them to come and find you like."
as you commanded me, and…
"Moan it, Tim."
"Lola, well, she told me to tell you how to order."
if you want to hand it out to him, then with this much power you can even
join the lousy team
you can take it.
"I got the message." Where are they now?
"At the bar, kapi."
After sending Tim back to his place, he led my eyes to the back garden
I keep it at the door while I continue my poker game.
The house is full of people gathering around the various gaming tables,
they drink, they laugh. I tried really hard not to make anything kitschy, yet
even when JJ tried to get me to rent an Elvis
an imitator - one that can swear. Because I felt that this is it
in this case, the risk of accidentally marrying JJ is too high,
I was stubborn and said no.
I still haven't seen the girls come back from the yard and you are already
an hour has passed. When I finally make my way to the bar, Henry, Robbie
and Jaiden
he has already overtaken me and is currently making the girls happy.
- You are very pretty today. You look nothing like a baby giraffe
I hear Henry complimenting Stassie as I walk up to the five of them. JJ
she swallows her drink to the side, but doesn't look like Stassie cares that
she's one
it is compared to a huge animal standing on wobbly legs.
"Now that you can no longer spoil the surprise, you feel better."
yourself? - she asks, looking first at me, then at Henry again
he flashes towards me as I stop next to the guy. I feel like except for Robbie
everyone is aware of how worried and cheering Henry was
him.
"I feel much better, thank you."
This way I can see how fucking breathtaking Stassie is up close
paint. Her hair falls down her back in perfect coils, her navy blue silk dress
it has a low neckline in the front and back, and the skirt goes all the way to
the thighit is split in the middle. But what's more important than that, his
grin is ear-to-ear. Just
he exudes happiness as he chats with my friends.
I can't stop staring at it with an idiotic grin
on my face, and I know you can tell by the look in your eyes
he makes mistakes towards me every now and then, but I'm too afraid of
what if
I will speak, I will spoil the moment.
Watching me makes me want to be the funniest guy in the room
I can be the one to make him laugh. But for now, I'll have to say
he doesn't throw lightning at me with his eyes.
The whole point of this was to bring Lola Robbie here
for the sake of it, and I managed to achieve that. Lola pulled one next to
my friend
chair, and they are just whispering, immersed in their own little world.
I'm happy for Robbie's happiness, although I'm also a little jealous.
Anastasia rubs her arm before they realize it's someone who
there are not many clothes, it can be a bit cold out here.
"Here," I say as I take off my tuxedo jacket. "Take it."
just up.
He opens his mouth, and I immediately recognize this look - one
I have a fight in the very near future. But then to my surprise
close and accept my offer. He folds the jacket over his shoulders and then
pull it tightly in front of your chest.
"Thank you, Nathan!"
"Come on, let's get something to drink, Hen," JJ says as he pats her
guy's back.
"But I have booze, and so do you."
JJ sighs then drags Henry over to the nearest waiter,
while muttering something about discretion.
I've never been nervous talking to a girl before.
I know I have to push myself hard if I want to
Anastasia and I should ever be friends. I wouldn't be able to bear it
may the next few weeks or months pass with such strange tension
between us. Especially now that all my teammates are getting closer
to it.
Plus he said I'm on probation so I have to
to try something.
- You are beautiful. "Poor start, Hawkins." - Having fun?- Yes, well. It's a
shame that you had to organize it yourself. All that is a
my problem with the whole thing is that I'm forced to admit it now, good
job
you are done
His words seem harsher than they really are. They are defiant, though
what is not felt in them is how his eyes sparkle and how his teeth
he licks his bottom lip as he waits for my answer.
Heaven bless the Patron.
"I thought there was a ceasefire between us." I'm on probation, so
you should be nice,” I giggle as I watch him try
stifling a laugh.
"That's how nice I am!"
"Is that what you call cute?" Well, that's not good for you, Allen.
"I said you were on probation, not me."
I clicked my tongue teasingly.
"I'll teach you how to be kind."
"I'm sure there's a lot you could teach me."
to me, Nathan, but how to be nice is not among them. Ready fairy
I'm.
"Mmm." I think "fairy" is a bit of an exaggeration. He smiles. And this
then a sincere smile, the kind that makes his whole face light up, and
finally
I feel like I've made some progress. "What do you want me to teach you?"
He nods towards the house.
"How about we start with poker?"
Before I can answer anything, Henry appears next to me, now
with a drink in each hand.
"I'm into poker."
"Great." "You force a smile on my face, and I try really hard to be."
my face should not grimace for disturbing us like this. "Let's go"
let's prepare a table.
Everyone takes a seat around a table in the lounge, and then we share.
THE
it takes the birthday boy record time - roughly twenty minutes - to shake it
off
us and spend your time with Lola instead.
That's why I'm grateful, because that way he doesn't witness the way
Anastasia does
deprives you of two hundred dollars. Even for me to teach him how to play
poker, my ass!
I'm also going to add acting to the list of his skills, because honestly
I believed him that he had never played before. The clover of trefettcalled
it, for God's sake - it was very convincing. Well, at least
until he spread his cards and mopped the floor with me.
- Where are you going? I ask Stassie as she gets up from the table.
"To the bathroom." I'll be back.
I stand up too and give my chips to Bobby.
"The line will be huge." You can use mine, come on.
He accepts my hand without hesitation, and it's like that
looks familiar. However, I hope that a few weeks ago
contrary to what happened, we'll be friends by the end of tonight.
However, it seems I didn't learn my lesson last time,
because now I'm staring at Anastasia's ass again, as we start the
on the stairs. The corner where you somehow don't break your ankle is
huge,
so she pulled my hand to the crook of her waist to help her to safety
get to the top of the stairs.
The silk of her dress is soft under my fingers, her body is warm. Her hair is
everything
with each step he swings back and forth in front of me, before his shampoo
has a strong honey and honey smell
the smell of strawberries fills my nose.
There are bigger problems.
When we finally get to my room, I punch in the code and it's my room
at the door. It's good in its own way that I can be alone with him, as it is
hopefully we can talk a bit. Guys are like golden
retriever puppies, all fighting for his attention.
This must be tiring for him after a while. At least it's tiring to watch,
moreover, he is also a total sucker for me, since in his eyes, I am without a
doubt
I'm the cutest member of the litter.
Anastasia stops when she comes out of the bathroom and sees my bed
sitting while putting his hands on his hips.
"I didn't want to snoop."
"I just thought it would be nice to have some peace and quiet, away from
the."
from your fans.
His shoulders fall forward, the tension leaves his body.
– I like them, but social events like this are sometimes completely
they suck.
"I'm cutting." They can be a bit much. But they get used to it over time
man, if not, I can always help you escape from them.
"What if I just want to run away from you?""Then you don't need my help
for that." He's a professional by now
or in it.
He laughs, and oh my God, that voice! I've never enjoyed it so much
I can make someone laugh like with him. This is because each one
I have to work hard for a laugh and a smile - the competitive part of me
but it just tingles when it comes together. As he sits down at my desk,
he tells me about the performances he attended when he was younger and
how
how exhausting it was to be among hundreds of other children jumping
with excitement.
I just sit and listen, nod and laugh, and in between
I am completely amazed by his confidence and dedication, the way he sees
things and
as he explains them.
When he finishes, he doesn't seem to know for sure either, but from where
all this came. He turns his attention to the stuff on my desk and then
he pokes a who knows what textbook.
"I don't mind if you sniff, you know." You didn't look at me last time
everything.
"I don't need to sniff." I know everything I need to know about you.
I can't stifle a sigh as he gets up from the chair and begins to walk
towards the door of the room. He stretches his hand towards the
doorknob, and instinctively
I lean forward and gently grab his arm.
He spins towards me, his back against the door.
"Will you ever forgive me?" I ask hopefully.
"I told you, you're on probation."
I run my hands through my hair, then groan in sheer frustration.
"That's not a yes." I'll be forced to beg you on my knees
Anastasia? Do you want that?
He shakes his head and laughs.
"The only time I want a grown man in front of me."
get down on your knees Nate is when your face is between my legs. so no
I don't want you to beg me.
Oh, screw it.
I can see the change in her the moment I get out of bed. THE
his breathing deepens, he squeezes his thighs together, his tongue sticks out
to
wet your lips. I can't stop myself from smiling like a commissar,
as in this holy moment they realize that he has feelings for her
maybe my attraction is not as one-sided as I thought."You don't really hate
me, do you?" If you want me on my knees
Anastasia, we can line him up.
I rest my hands on the door on either side of his head. I bow down to a
our eyes should be in the same line - his sea blue eyes have completely
darkened.
From the way he swallows, I have a sneaking suspicion that if my mouth is
a
I would press him on his neck, I would feel the intense beating of his heart
on my lips.
"You didn't do anything."
"Of course." "Watching him fight with himself is the sexiest thing ever."
I just saw it. Even if he does not give in his waist, he is still happy as a
person
I will leave this room. Leaning forward almost to the curve of her ear
I touch my lips, my breath tickles his neck. "Ask me nicely."
Let me show you how much I love it when you're kind.
"Why would I do that if I don't like you?" "His words."
they are harsh, but he says them so tensely and weakly that it betrays him
himself.
"You don't have to like me to scream my name, Anastasia."
I gently run my nose along the curve of his jaw, enjoying it,
as his breath catches for a moment.
"I could even give you a map to my g-spot, but not then."
can you make me enjoy myself Hawkins.
"I don't need a map."
"Of course."
My number is millimeters from hers, and I won't be the one to do it
the first step. I don't even have to be - if you want me, you'll be right now
shows.
The idea that I would need a map to reach
enjoy, it's ridiculous. That you think I wouldn't give my life away
every single second to be even better than my own
let me get to know your body is also ridiculous.
What I really like about him is that he is a competitive spirit, but I am too
I am - always have been. This is how I got really good at winning,
and now we are competing to see who can last longer.
Lowering my voice to a whisper, I give him one last chance.
"Let's put this theory to the test, what do you say?"Chapter Nine

ANAST ASIA
HE HAS THAT tiny, but real chance that at any moment
I spontaneously burst into flames.
Nate's voice is barely above a whisper as he suggests, let's test his theory,
me
however, I can feel each syllable on my skin as goosebumps run over my
skin
first on my neck, then down my chest. My body in that moment
I was told by Nate placing his hands on either side of my head and leaning
in
Shall I bring it.
He's barely touched me and I'm ready to turn him into a puddle
melt at his feet.
I don't know if it's the proximity, the pure adrenaline, or the
tequila, but every single sane thought I have is lost and I get it
myself to press my mouth to his.
Without wasting a second, he ran his hand through my hair falling on the
back of my head and
it grips. His free hand glides over my body, then his palm on my ass
he smooths, making me moan into his mouth.
Nate is everywhere at once - I can't help it
hold on to him and let him do it, and when his mouth is sucking
and nibbles and migrates down my neck, I'm practically in a hurry
air.
I swear when I followed him up here I had no idea this was going to
happen
the end. But he looks so damn good in the tuxedo and that all night
I watched him, as he kept nervously checking to see if the party was going
well, he stole a bit
yourself into my heart. And she's fucking sexy too, did I mention that? All
of it
dark hair, dark eyes, and muscles on the back of muscles.
He kneels in front of me, loosens his bow tie and unbuttons it
the top button of his shirt. Messy - because I got into it first - and
he looks up at me with a flushed face. He runs his hand from my ankle to
my knee and then
back down, and yes, I'm still about to melt.
- Are you sure?"Do you have pen and paper so I can draw you a map?"
Just kidding. Why am I kidding? Why do I find it looks that way?
at me, like I'm not impressed at all, so funny? And it is
sexy?
"I'm not kidding about consent, Anastasia," he says softly.
as he leans forward to plant a kiss on the inside of my knee.
- I'm sure. "I don't even know why I'm sure." But in that
I'm sure I shouldn't be sure. Would not be
I'm allowed to like the way he lifts my leg over his shoulder. That's for sure
I shouldn't be enjoying the way he runs his tongue along my thigh.
It pulls the fabric of my dress aside, and when I put this dress on earlier,
I didn't expect the evening to end like this. I can hear you
he moans in pleasure as he nears the base of my thigh and realizes
that I'm not wearing panties.
The wait is completely exhausting. I know he's doing it right away, as he's
getting
it gets closer and closer, but still doesn't really do anything.
I'm about to open my mouth to lash out at him, try
as his tongue slips between my labia, circling my clit.
A loud, lustful moan fills the room. I don't even notice
this voice came from me until I feel him move
his shoulder as this filth laughs at himself.
Fingers creep up the back of my thighs until they can't
where to go. Huge hands slide on my ass and squeeze it,
as he sucks my clit into his mouth in a way that makes me feel
as if I were floating.
I'm totally done. A writhing, groaning, trembling mass of bankruptcy. THE
damn it. I don't even need to look at his face to know what he's like
he was smug, not that I could look at him at all - because he was present
in a moment he digs it deep between my thighs.
I run my hands through his hair to have something to hold on to
a satisfied moan erupts from his throat, making my stomach churn
butterflies multiply.
I want to say something clever to him, to talk him out of it somehow.
Not to give him the satisfaction of knowing he did it in minutes
turning me into a whining mass of failure.
He lets go of my butt with one hand, and when I look down, one
a pair of brown eyes looking back at me. Almost scorching all the way
through, every little thingwatching me for a reaction, he slides two fingers
into me and 2.5
it finds my g-spot in seconds.
The game is over.
He moves it in and out faster and faster, in perfect coordination with his
tongue
his fingers in me, and if he didn't hold my whole body with his mouth,
I would probably have collapsed by now.
The feeling is getting stronger and stronger as I pull harder and harder
her hair as I scream, my stiletto heels straining against the hard muscles of
her back as
I desperately try to move my hips to ride it
fingers.
"Nathan…" I whimper. My body tenses up like I can't breathe
I get. "Nathan, I'm about to…"
I can't even finish the sentence when I have every bit of it
I'm already convulsing and I cry out, everything is tingling and throbbing as
it is
twitching and squirming, I tighten around his fingers and my whole body
beauty and heat overwhelms me.
Pulling his fingers and mouth away, Nate leans back to get a good look
to take, and then with the most smug expression I've ever seen on his face,
a
he puts his fingers in his mouth and kisses them without even one
would break eye contact even for a moment.
Oh, screw it.

IT'S BEEN SEVERAL DAYS since the party and I'm learning something
new every single day
thing about myself.
A disaster does just that to a person.
The first thing I learned is that it works well in high heels
running—I found that out when I ran out of Nate's room. Then
I learned that I can't pull myself together, even then,
when I'm actively trying to avoid someone. And also that
I'd be a horrible criminal - I'd be caught right away. He is also overly
excitable and
I'm paranoid. Thanks to that, when I wake up to someone loudly
knocks on my door, my first reaction is to immediately panic.
Ryan's arm around my waist tightens and his head sinks deeper into the
he digs into my neck as his annoyed moan makes my skin tremble.
"Mute it already."There is only one person in this house who is confident
enough
to pound on someone else's door so early in the morning.
"What the hell do you want, Lola?"
"Are you going to fuck, or can I come in?"
Ryan and I didn't even have sex the night before, we just filmed,
after that we fell asleep. We agreed, now that Ryan is about to propose
Olivia, don't date other people, the "extras" part of our friendship is over.
I am not saddened by it, as I have always known it to be
it will end someday. I'm glad I got a best friend
from this whole, otherwise wonderful thing that was between the two of
us.
Ryan pulls his limbs off of me and turns onto his back with a loud
exhalation.
"If we had fucked, you would have ruined the mood right now."
"Okay, I'll come in!" Shut up, Rothwell.
With two boxes on her hip, Lola bursts through the door, then takes it
down
himself on the bed. He covers his eyes dramatically when he sees Ryan
bare chest.
The guy looks at me in disbelief as he pulls up the quilt to
covers himself. Whether we hang out or not, I'd be happy to wallpaper the
my bedroom with a picture of Ryan's naked body. Lola is ridiculous.
"How's my favorite non-love couple doing this morning?" he asks
cheerfully as he throws one of the boxes to me. "We received a gift!"
Ryan yawns and, making sure to keep his body covered,
stretches his limbs.
"I'd rather you woke me up with breakfast instead of a headache."
Ryan's favorite thing about sleeping here is when Lola makes breakfast.
Charming, isn't it?
Lo clicks her tongue disapprovingly.
“Nobody likes drama queens, Rothwell.
"Who did the gift come from?" I ask as I examine the box
he wrote my last name on it in big letters.
"From Nate." – Lola is typing something on her phone, then the phone
rings
video call start indicator, familiar voice. – We have to unfold during a
video call.
Video call?
"Lo, wait…"
- Good morning! says Robbie. "You're beautiful this morning."
"He also has an audience," I grumble before he can even begin
phone sex."Me too," the guy replies. Lola turns to have her back to me and
To Ryan. He holds his phone up so all three of us can see each other.
Robbie does the same, showing Nate and JJ sitting on either side of him,
who
as if they were eating cereal. JJ turns it from his bowl to the camera
looks away and swallows. Nathan also looked up, but nothing could be
read from it
from his face. Robbie doesn't care, he just continues to make noise. –
Open your gifts now!
"Here you go, Rothwell," Lo says as he turns to us again and leans in
to Ryan to hand him the phone. "Make yourself useful and."
be the cameraman.
Finally—feeling like hours after Lo burst into my room—
I tear open the box. It's a strange feeling to open one that was supposedly
given to me by Nathan
gift while sitting on my bed with Ryan. I have no reason to, though
I feel weird.
Oh wait, maybe that's because I've been avoiding Nate since he was five
days earlier he gave me the best oral sex of my life, after which
the first time he sees me in the same bed with someone else.
Maybe that's why. Reaching into the box, I pull out its contents -
a Titans hockey jersey.
Lo squealed excitedly as she held up her own. At the back of it there
it says mitchell and when i turn mine over its the big white one
the name Allen, spelled out in letters, glares at me.
"Thanks, Nate!"
"I heard that's what it takes to get you to listen to me." Welcome to
in a team!
It seems the poor newbie at the door delivered the message at Robbie's
party.
"Pick it up!" Ryan says from behind the camera. "I can't believe it."
I'm in the same bed with two hockey stars. I'm such a glaze list.
"It could have been three if you had said it in time," JJ snorted.
"Shut up, asshole, you're talking about my girl."
Before pulling the shirt over her head, Lola winks at me. Both are enough
we read romantic novels and watched some pretty crappy romantic movies
to know that my type of guys really like the girl.
"I love it."
"We have to go to training." Talk to you later, okay?
"Sure, bye."
- Hey guys! Ryan and I add.Before Ryan hangs up, we hear Henry
speaks:
"Is it Anastasia?" I thought she was avoiding you, Nathan.
Although, apart from a long, loud, mental scream, it doesn't work
to react to Henry's words, immediately two pairs of eyes are fixed on me.
It was funny at first when Lola and Ryan both started staring
to stare, but now, minutes later, it's starting to get a little mean.
"What aren't you telling me?" Lo asks as seriously as he can
in voice.
I thought what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas-
perception is a really existing thing. Okay, I know it's basically Maple
We were in the Hills for a Vegas themed party, but still the rules
they should be valid. It should be a bit irresponsible and risible
to be without having to share this with my friends. Regrettable
way the keepers of Vegas' secrets didn't meet Lola.
"Tell me or I'll call Robbie back and ask."
I sink into my bed and pull the duvet over my head so that no one is
around
I don't even have to look at it.
- At Robbie's birthday party, I ran away.
"If?" they both say at the same time.
I let out a loud breath and grab the comforter to keep Ryan from
he can pull me off. However, he is stronger than me, so I eventually give
up.
"He licked me at Robbie's birthday party, blah blah blah." "No matter what,
Lola."
it's honest and Ryan played with his shocked face to play on my girlfriend
its drama. "It was an accident, a weak moment, and I've been avoiding him
ever since."
"Don't blah-blah-blah here to me." That was almost a week ago! –
screams Lola while flailing her arms wildly. His eyes on Ryan
translates. "Did you know about that?"
"No, I just had a date with Liv on Saturday, so I didn't know."
to go to the party - he says, completely not noticing how Lola's face
twitches
At the mention of Olivia. "Though I would like to know how a person is."
engage in oral sex by accident, Stas. Just share it with the class!
"Fuckhead." I groan and hit him in the chest with my pillow. - THE
I used his washroom. He tried to get me to admit that I wanted to be his
boyfriend
to be and asked if he should beg me now on his knees.
"Classic," Lol says, rolling her eyes.
"He said I just pretended I couldn't stand him.""Yeah, that sounds like the
beginning of a good bit of trouble," says Lola
sarcastically, wrinkling his nose grumpily. "Jump now."
to part.
"Well, when you asked if you should get down on your knees now,
I was honest with him. I told him I only want one
get on your knees if your head is between my legs.
Lola is laughing so hard she can't breathe and Ryan is almost as bad
like him. I'm surprised Aaron hasn't joined us yet,
because that would be absolutely perfect.
"You're unbearable," I mutter as I kiss them both again
I hit him with my pillow. "So he practically took it as an invitation."
waltz. He said, please, and pressed a little speech,
that "we don't joke about consent, Anastasia", but it's so cool
sexy, and seriously, and yes, I practically cut my vocal cords
screaming.
"Did you take it as an invitation to a waltz?" Ryan repeats with his jaw
dropped. - Stas,
you practically announced to him that you wanted to ride his face.
"Not at all!" "There is absolutely no question of that." Just simply
I explained that I don't see anything appreciable in the fact that a guy is my
leg
kneel before him and beg. I don't know how it happened
twisted out during our conversation.
Now, honestly, I blame Ryan for this whole ranking. If he was there
when Lola walked out with Robbie, there would have been someone to do
it
about not doing anything irresponsible with irresponsible, sexy hockey
players.
"Anastasia." - He takes my face between his hands and turns my head so
that
to look at him and not at Lola, who is currently wiping her tears. "If it's a
woman."
he tells me the only time he wants to see me kneel
me when my face is between your legs, then with all due respect,
I move on it. I would have kissed you too.
"Well, practically," I mutter as I free my face, "ha."
you want to go into details, I kissed her.
"You little fish!" Lola says cheerfully. "I can't believe he can."
you should have kept this from us! His eyes flicker to Ryan as he
he's wrinkling his nose again. "Well, in front of me." You two are weird. No
I know what you tell each other, but I can't believe you did it
would have kept this from me!"This will never happen again, Lols, so take
it easy."
yes.
Ryan moans next to me and runs his hand over his face.
"Stas, you know I love you, but you have to stop being like that."
be fucking stubborn. Hawkins is a good guy, screw him or don't screw him,
but
yet since when do you avoid those you mess with?
"You should fuck without a doubt," says Lola a lot
more enthusiastically than I would like.
- I agree. I think you should drop a line on him at least once, Stas. THE
for the sake of science.
Performing arts and English literature are the two least STEM
{§}
person I only know looks at me at the same time and nods in sync and
says:
"For the sake of science."Chapter Ten

NO THAN

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A WOMAN SPRINTING IN PINES? I have

seen.
Last week. I hadn't even gotten up from the floor when Anastasia already
he also adjusted his clothes and reached for the doorknob. He gave me one
last look
– her face was still glowing from the orgasm, then she ran out like a fucking
woman
The Road Runner Show.
He was moving so fast I almost expected him to be fuming
leaves a mark. I was forced to let him go, as the
another alternative was to march out full of people with a standing cue
to the house.
Did I know this was going to happen when I took her upstairs? No. THE
it seemed like the best possibility, and then he sees that I'm paying
attention to him, and finally
he agrees to be friends. I would have thought that he was on it anyway
even a tiny chance that he'll end up calling my name and I'm the
will I suck your juices off my finger? Not under the circumstances
I believe that there would be such a normal man who plans such things.
I play this memory over and over in my mind whenever I can
knock me out? Naturally.
Anastasia clearly regretted it, as whenever
sees him, immediately pulls him in the opposite direction. At first I thought
he was ashamed
himself, but after I saw him yesterday in a bed with Rothwell, again
I'm starting to think that the attraction between the two of us is one-sided
after all.
I thought maybe she was dating Rothwell like Henry thinks.
Maybe I was just a wrong step, a weak moment, but at this point down
I had to stop because I started to feel sick. I hate those who
cheat on their partner, and my instincts told me that wasn't the case with
Stassie
the situation. Then I instantly felt better when I spotted Liv
Ryan messing with Abbott.
I don't know what kind of relationship Stas and Ryan have, but whatever
be that as it may, I'm clearly not monogamous.I've decided, we're going to
talk about it today. Stassie is good at being different
he makes his feelings known - he has already managed to prove this a
couple of times. The
but apparently she can't face those guys
whose faces he enjoyed.
The plan is to catch it right after training, since it's on Fridays
we have training ahead of us with the Butthead. JJ is furious that we won't
have time to stop
at Dunkin', and his mustache mutters something about his constitutional
rights
under. I promise him that I will buy him two donuts next week
seems to be coming to terms. He can't wait for us to run down - he said so,
not me -
Stassie and then watch her send me to hell.
It's a bold assumption on my part to even get close enough
and then to send you to hell.
Focusing on how to charm Anastasia was pretty much tied up by the
my thoughts so that I don't click on why my father keeps calling me
for three days now, with which he apparently has no intention of stopping
for the time being.
Because I have a hunch, I'm calling because it's in my bank account
money dwindled considerably after I paid for Robbie's party, not anyway
i want to talk to him I'm sure someone to whom it is normal
he has a father, you would assume he just wants to wish you good luck,
because tomorrow
let's play the first game of the season. But unfortunately my father is not
normal.
Mr. H has always been more like my father than my own, and it was a good
thing
The Hamlets visited for Robbie's birthday. At least for me
certainly, maybe less so for Lola, since it was done on Saturday morning
to unexpectedly run into them in a T-shirt worn by Robbie.
Mrs. H almost jumped out of happiness, while Mr. H and both
gave a thumbs up. Lo looked like a frightened fawn
in the spotlight, and Robbie didn't look much better than him.
JJ cut a picture I'd never seen before - it looked like
as if this was the most wonderful moment of his life, which could only be
further
intensified when Henry asked Lola out loud if she regretted
e that he didn't wear pants.
Seeing the Hamlets reminded me of home, but only the good
moments before mom died. About different strategies
talking to them reminds me why I love hockey and how
I'm looking forward to the start of the season.
I know I've said this before, but I mean it this time
I think. This year will be different.I ALWAYS KNOW WE ARE IN SHIT
when my phone vibrates incessantly.
Released by my ear, Professor Jones is painfully boring
summary of the metabolism of macronutrients, I highlight the
my phone from my pocket.

HOCKEY BUNNIES

ROBBIE HAMLET
I died.

BOBBY HUGHES
It's weird to just announce it like that, but just say it.

CHRIS HUDSON
can i have your room

JOE CARTER
Can I have Lola's number?

ROBBIE HAMLET
Shut up, Carter.

NATE HAWKINS
RIP

ROBBIE HALMET
Well, it has arrived. Our guest of honor today.

NATE HAWKINS
What the hell are you smoking?

ROBBIE HAMLET
Did you know that Stassie, Summer and Kitty alldo they live in the same
building?

NATE HAWKINS
Now you're just kidding, aren't you?

ROBBIE HAMLET
I wouldn't joke about something that's inherently so ridiculous.

JAYDEN JOHAL
In Maple Tower? Fuck it. I might have to move.

HENRY TURNER
I don't care what the problem is.

CHRIS HUDSON
Neighbors, Hen.

HENRY TURNER
Yeah... But none of them want to fuck Nate anyway,
so why is this a problem?
It's not like there's any danger of being called over.

MATTIE LIU
Shots fired.

CHRIS HUDSON
I feel like Hawkins is totally out now.

JOE CARTER
Oh, because he's waiting for Turner to say he was just kidding.

JAYDEN JOHAL
Does anyone else hear the burp?NATE HAWKINS
I'm transferring to the basketball team. More assholes.

HENRY TURNER
If you switch, you might have more chances with Stassie.

NATE HAWKINS
But why?

HENRY TURNER
She sleeps with Ryan Rothwell.
Maybe the basketball players will come to him.

NATE HAWKINS
You can't know that.

HENRY TURNER
But I know. Said.

NATE HAWKINS
And why the hell would he say such things to you?

HENRY TURNER
Because I asked?

TAIDEN JOHAL
Not that I want to rip the last one off
your nerve, Kapi… But Rothwell knows how
He also fucked Summer.

NATE HAWKINS has left the HOCKEY BUNNY group

JOE CARTER adds NATE HAWKINS to HOCKEY BUNNYto group

NATE HAWKINS has left the HOCKEY BUNNY group

MATTIE LIU added NATE HAWKINS to HOCKEY BUNNY

to group

NATE HAWKINS
Assheads.

I've always liked Ryan Rothwell, until now.

Making a strategic but easy decision, I slide my phone back to the
in my pocket and try to focus on learning something -
or at least not to learn new things about Ryan Rothwell and
where the f... let's leave it at that.
Actually, paying attention helps the clock almost fly by, but
as soon as I see JJ, I wish I had stayed in the room.
From the moment we meet in front of your lab until
until I park in front of the track, he laughs at me the whole time.
Fortunately, however, he chooses to let me fail without an audience,
and promises to wait in the car until the others get here.
“Clair de Lune” blares from the arena speakers as I enter the
double door. There are several skaters lounging here and there, but there is
only one pair
on ice, which means I arrived just in time. After I drop the
my hockey stuff on the bench, I start towards the side of the field, throwing
one there
a polite “Hello!” to Brady when the coach notices and is annoyed
he furrows his brows.
I had never seen Anastasia skate before. In general
one of us arrives just as the other is about to leave, so
I never see him at work, but today twenty minutes later than usual
I arrived earlier.
It's fucking impressive. I've been on ice for as long as I can remember
I am, but I have never in my stinking life moved like he does now.
It looks like it's not skating, it's floating - I can't
take my eyes off her.He reaches for Asshead with his arm. They don't even
look at each other
yet their meeting is perfect. Before I know what's going on, Stassie
he is already in the air, the guy is holding him with one hand, spinning, and
meanwhile the
he grips the blade of his skate to keep his leg above his head.
Ass-Head lowers it so fast that for a second I think it's gone
will drop it, but then moving his limbs in such a way that I can't even
follow,
Anastasia just keeps spinning in the air. When his skates are on the ice
again
I wipe the sweat from my forehead and exhale that breath
which I didn't even notice until now that I was holding back.
The duo moves faster and faster, flying perfectly across the track.
From the way Brady's posture changes, he squeezes the barrier and
holding his breath, I know something is going to happen.
Stas and Aaron move in perfect harmony, as they both do
they turn and glide backwards. They hit the ice with the nose of their
skates,
they spin at such a speed that my brain can't even keep up. THE
my eyes don't even realize what's happening as Aaron hits the ground, his
feet gracefully
reaches out to finish the move, but Anastasia's body
it slides across the ice and slams into the railing with a loud thump
beyond.
Fuck it.
I've been smeared on the railing more times than I can count,
but it was always done covered from head to toe in hockey gear. Anastasia
however, she's wearing cat shorts and a long-sleeved, short sports top that's
a little tight
nor would it protect him, even if he hadn't slammed into the wall with all
his might.
The music suddenly stops as Aaron pulls her to her feet and horrified
he checks every single square centimeter of his body, then throws one
glance at the top of his head as Stas points there. When Aaron tries
to be caught in her arms, she pushes him aside, but still takes his hand,
letting
for the guy to lead her as they start to where Brady and I are standing.
I have a feeling that I shouldn't be underfoot, but my heart is
it's about to burst out of my chest. I need to hear that Anastasia is okay.
even if he doesn't tell me.
It takes forever for them to cover the short distance
through the ice. Finally they reach the railing and Anastasia looks at me,
but as if he doesn't recognize him, since no emotion is visible on his face,
not even disgust.He really could have been seriously hurt if he wasn't even
bothered by my existence.
Fuck it.
Brady grabs her face—almost protectively, motherly, here—
turning it around until he finally saw enough.
"We'll take it out, Anastasia." You stay with the triple.
- What? Stassie chirps, genuinely confused. - I'm fine!
Just give it a minute, we'll try again. He will go. You know you do
I can do it.
"Anastasia, I just watched as you slammed into him with all your might."
to the backboard! The matter is not a matter of debate.
Stassie looks at Aaron, jaw dropping, tears in her eyes
they sparkle. The guy wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to
his chest,
as she begins to sob.
"The triple is also difficult, Stas." There is no shame in leaving out the
four-rounder... so many people don't have a triple, but yours is perfect.
His whole body trembles as he brings a hand to his eyes to wipe the
tears, then hisses as he raises his left arm—with that side
he crashed into the railing.
"But I can do the quadruple." It's been so long
I am working on it. I'll have to try again. I didn't start well, but hey
i can fix it.
His gaze wanders once more, as he wipes it off with the finger of his shirt
tears. I try to flash him a comforting smile, which
however, it ends in a horrified grimace, as does a streak of dark red blood
it emerges from under his hairline and runs along his temple.
It's as if we all notice this at the same moment. All
we catch him at the same time, and Stassie's face only increases even more
confused as the three of us examine him.
"Coach, I'm ready for first aid," I say quickly. "We have to bring in the."
to the ER, but before he goes anywhere, we need to clean the open wound
and we have to bandage it.
Brady purses his lips into a stiff, worried line, but then nods stiffly.
"Stas," I say gently. "Now I'm going to take you in my arms and."
I'll take you to the emergency room, okay?
"Why do you talk to me like I'm a child?"Standing next to her, Aaron
snorts, then runs a hand over his face and
he turns it toward the ceiling with a mixture of disbelieving glee and
despair
his gaze. The guy may be an ass but nobody can deny it now
that he genuinely cares about Anastasia. He looks like he's about to get
sick
from worry and doesn't even object to me wanting it
examine the girl.
"I'm glad he's charming even after you beat him in the head."
you haven't lost your nature - I say playfully. "I will."
to carry, because there is no edge protection on your skates. Besides, I'm
afraid of you walking
and you collapse when I catch you, I will hurt you where that mighty one is
you will be bruised. can i pick you up
He mutters a few swear words that cannot stand printing ink under his
breath, then the
rolling his eyes, he nods weakly.
"I'm heavy," he mutters as he wraps his arms around her knees and waist
I slide it around.
We'll leave Brady and the Asshole behind as I get going
towards the changing rooms, where the first aid room is also located.
"Shut up, Anastasia." You're not half as hard as a
my warm-up weight.
He starts squirming in my arms before I realize he's trying
elbow to the side. But I'm too busy to open the door a
with my ass, rather than worrying about going to his brain. After
I place it on the examination table, take a step back, and then as soon as
we are between us
some distance, Stassie punches straight in the arm.
"You can't tell me to screw up, I'm hurt."
"Now I'm fucking hurt too." "Squeezing my biceps."
I moan. "Jeez." Who taught you to hit anyway?
"Lola's father." Boxing instructor.
I gather from the cupboard what I will need – saline, gauze, and
an ice hose. This will last until you get to the hospital. Thoroughly
I wash and dry my hands and after a pair of medical gloves
I'm reaching out.
"You're not allergic to latex, are you?"
He narrows his eyes, his lips tighten into a thin line.
"No, Nathan." I'm not allergic to latex.
Suppressed, I don't even make a single snort, clearly for what
he thought immediately upon hearing my question, thanks to which he is
now scattering sparkshe looks at me.
- I'm glad to hear that. I would hate to add the swollen face a
for your list of injuries.
As if that would earn me a small smile, but maybe just
I'm imagining it.
I start with the half-dried blood on his face, thoroughly cleaned
the area towards your hairline. I will certainly reach for the cut,
because Anastasia hisses and suddenly grabs the
my thermal top.
- Sorry! – I hum as I try to go as fast as I can and
to do my job in the most gentle way.
The blood soaked his hair and every time I wiped it, the gauze still
absorbs more. He continues to squeeze me, his legs go up and down the
in the air, and it's clear that he doesn't like being groomed like that.
I need to distract him with something, but I can't think of anything
with which I wouldn't remind him that he's avoiding me anyway.
"You're a phenomenal skater, Stas." I couldn't take it off you
my eyes.
"That is, until I whizzed through it like a bowling ball."
track and I didn't try to break the barrier with my own body?
He looks up into my eyes and now I'm one hundred percent sure
in him that he is smiling at me - now he knows that I am not imagining
things.
"Yeah, you were breathtaking until the human bowling ball part."
"Thanks," he mutters, then stares at his hand again. "What are you doing
here?"
early?
Now that I have managed to clean his wound as best I can,
I collect the used gauze and throw it in the medical waste container.
I don't know how to answer your question without spoiling it
this pleasant, more or less normal moment between the two of us.
"I wanted to see you." You've been around lately and I just wanted to
know, ok
are you Could you raise your left arm for me? With that page of yours
you're hooked, aren't you?
"Yes," he answers, ignoring everything else I said
next to. He hisses a bit, but he can move his arm well anyway, so
I don't think anything is broken. I hook the ice hose over his shoulder,
where it is
there is a focal point of inflammation, and then I will take one last,
thorough look at it."Don't wear the ice for more than ten minutes at a
time, okay?" No
are you dizzy He shakes his head. "Aren't you nauseous?" Don't you have a
headache? No
or confused? – He shakes his head again, but this time also his eyebrows
he pulls it up next to him skeptically.
I bend down, lace up and pull off his skates one by one, then
I put them behind.
"I want you to go to the hospital." It's to be safe
the people there should take a look at you too, and rest on the weekend.
He snorted loudly before bringing a hand to his mouth to suppress the
sound.
"Sorry, that was stupid." It's just that I have a competition tomorrow, don't
I
i can rest
"Anastasia..."
"I will." Are we done, Dr. Hawkins? he asks as he lets go and
tries to jump off the examination table. I instinctively grab it with my hand
his hips to keep me in one place, but then I immediately let go, as if
only his body would be made of hot lava. His gaze meets mine and
there is some uncertainty in his eyes. "Nate, I…"
The door opens behind us and Asshole, holding a pink
with a gym bag, walks into the room. As if it wasn't enough
my reason for wanting to wring his neck. He places the bag behind Stas,
then he puts a pair of trainers in her hand, which she quickly puts on.
Aaron examines her head as if he has any idea
what you see
Passhead. I think he's studying history or something.
For Stassie's sake, I will temporarily put aside our differences and
I am polite to him.
"Can you take him to the hospital?"
Aaron nods and lets out an indifferent hum of agreement, though
meanwhile he doesn't even bother to look at me like he did again
she reaches into Stassie's bag and pulls out a college sweatshirt. –
Don't let him fall asleep before I get to the hospital and tell Lola that
look at him later when he sleeps.
"I'll look at it," he says carelessly as he throws the skates into the
into a bag and zip it up.
"No, I mean at night when he goes to sleep.""Yeah," Aaron says, dragging
his feet as if I don't understand him. –
I'll look into it. You know we're roommates, right? My bedroom right now
it is as close to his as Ló's.
What the fuck is life?
"Okay." "I'm trying not to let my shock be heard."
in my voice. "Get well, Stas." And good luck for tomorrow guys.
"To you too," answers the Asshead.
Strange.
Anastasia glances back over her shoulder and carries him through once
more
his eyes on me before he leaves. When I clean up after ourselves and
I join the guys waiting out there, they are clearly all of them
they know what happened, and they all look at me with a fake, pitying
expression.
"Poor girl would rather give herself a concussion than
to have to talk to you, Hawkins. That's rough, man, he says
Robbie, as the rest of the team begins to giggle in unison.
"Hey, funny boy," I retort. "Did you know that your girlfriend's father is a
boxer?"
Robbie goes pale.
"Please tell me you're just kidding."
"Oh, I wouldn't joke about something that's so ridiculous."Chapter Eleven

ANAST ASIA
IF THERE IS ANY DAY I am exceptionally grateful for Aaron, these are
the days
the competition days.
Unlike my restlessly squirming, panicking self, Aaron
he is calm and relaxed and gently reassures me that everything will be fine.
This
during this time I throw up from nervousness.
Unsurprisingly, he thought we were good and would make the district.
Brady even made a joke that I skated better than him
usually, which can be attributed to my severe head injury.
Of course.
This is exactly how I act every single time. The older he is
I am, the higher the stakes and the more nervous I get. Aaron right
as calm, if not calmer, than when we started in freshman year
to skate together. I think the difference is that with Aaron, I never have
it didn't fall so it wouldn't get further, it never fell and flew through the
on the track and, luckily, he never dropped me.
He never gave himself a reason not to be confident.
We will get through today, but thanks to next month's district
championship
the pressure is even greater now. If we get past that, it can come in January
National championship.
Brady has been blowing me from day one for not having me when I was
younger
I went on. He says I have the talent for it and he doesn't understand
why haven't I participated in international competitions before? That's
honest
answer is that my partner at the time, James, was not at that level, and no
I wanted to find someone else instead because I loved him.
"Absurd" is Brady's favorite word to describe the case.
"You were amazing today," Aaron says as he glances at me
behind the wheel. We usually ride with Aubrey, but today Aaron drove
because
the competition was held nearby. "I can't wait for Lo to see the tape."After
such occasions, Lola is always forced to go from square to square
to watch our performance. He said earlier that he would like to see it
us live too since we were so close but Robbie asked him to leave
for the Titans' first home game of the year.
When Lo brought it up this morning, I expected Aaron to
he begins to heat up, but my partner remained surprisingly cheerful and
he declared that it was okay, Lola would be able to come to the next
competition.
- You too. It wouldn't have worked without you.
"We're a good team, Stas." Sometimes we argue, but not with others
we could get it together. It wouldn't be the same.
He's annoyingly right.
- I know.
"We will get to the top." I feel it in my bones. If you continue
we can get back in shape, you stick to your diet.
This will work.
"Would you like to grab something?" I don't think Lola is back yet
about the Titans game.
"It doesn't work, sorry." We meet up with Cory and Davey and go out for
drinks
one.
My phone starts to vibrate in the cup holder when I pick it up and see
that Lola's name flashes on the screen.

LOL
Your boyfriend is fucking sexy, geeeeeek.

Not my boyfriend.

It should be. He just anointed someone

on the backboard, and I swear my vagina twitched.

What's happening?

Dunno. I still don't understand hockey.

But Robbie wears a three-piece suit and shouts with others.Oh my
goodness. Are they in for a win?

Yes! Nate slips in goals with such ease

like he did with your pussy.

I hate you.

Let him slide it in your mouth too, Stassie.

I'm deleting your number.

Do you want to come celebrate tonight?

Not if the hockey team is coming.

I can't wait for you to change your mind.

I know Lola well enough to know it makes no sense

try to avoid guys tonight. Let's just say it's fun
will be, since, unfortunately, I like many of them.
I told him last week, not under any circumstances
going to Robbie's birthday party with him, and then I got to sit at the end
there and I could stare at her smug grin as she did my makeup
to the party I had no intention of going to.
If both she and Aaron are going to the party, there's no point at home
to stay, right?
- Nothing wrong. Lo just wrote that he wanted to go somewhere anyway
I tell him as I put the phone back in the cup holder.
"Of course, Lola had to meet a hockey player." –
He clicks his tongue nervously as he glances at the
in the rearview mirror before turning onto our street. "At least not
Rothwell."
a total ass.
I make a mental note of this. Ryan will be overjoyed
that it's just a bit of an ass, not totally.Regardless of what emotions you
cherish or have cherished
towards the hockey players, Robbie is great with Lola. Attentive and kind,
but
most importantly, he is treated with the same respect as Lola
he deserves it. And even his parents were incredibly cute with him
upon their meeting, proving that Robbie was raised well.
Unlike some people I know.
"It makes Lola happy, and it's none of our business anyway."
"But it will be if the guy does it and then leaves it alone."
"It's not that..." It's not worth arguing with him about. - I'm sure,
that everything will be fine.
"You'd better stay away from them, Stassie." Bipedal
danger signs. You don't always have to go where Lola says,
you know?
The answer is already on the tip of my tongue, but I'd rather swallow it
because
I don't want to ruin this otherwise great day.
- Okay.
I'd rather not even say that I'm going to spend the evening with those
whom he wants me to avoid. Although he himself does not want to spend
it with me
time, he doesn't want me to be with other people either.
"I'm just trying to take care of you, Stassie." You mean a lot to me. Partners
we are, and that means more than skates. I know you do too
would you do it for me
I look up to Aaron a lot and cling desperately to those a
to lovely moments we share. They really mean a lot to him and
this is also true for Lola. But sometimes, like now, he says something that
makes me feel
I question what his real motivation might be.
There are moments when anything about any of us
say wrong, it seems entirely impossible. When
staunchly loyal and protective, and when all three a
we curl up in our living room, watch movies and laugh.
And then there are those like this now, when the hidden in it
malice flashes through the cracks. Sometimes at such a level
it comes out of nowhere that it's like being slapped in the face, and in this
case
I wonder if I know him at all.
I wait for the car to stop in front of our building, then I lean over
console and hug him.
"You mean a lot to me too, Aaron."I'M HALF DONE WHEN I run out of
beer and Jolly Ranchers
an excited Lola storms into the living room.
"I love hockey!" "And in his Mitchell jersey, with a tie on his head."
With a Titans cap, he really looks like he loves it, and he gets a little bit of
it
jealousy because I couldn't go to the game. "Of course not that much."
like figure skating. But there is more drama in hockey. It was like one
opera, only with percussion. I'm all for it. He looks around and realizes
that I'm alone here. "Where's the ice princess?"
"He went out drinking with his friends." I asked if he wanted to come with
me
to have dinner, but he said no. Oh, and hockey guys are gross, and you
don't have to be all the time
to go where you say, which is damn good news.
Lola moans, then throws herself down on the couch next to me.
"I swear, there's a diva in that guy." To the Honeycomb
we're going, we're not getting married.
The Honeycomb is the hottest nightclub in Los Angeles. Super
it's exclusive, and we only get in because Briar, our neighbor, is there
is working When she found out we live in the same building, Lola is
personal
he made it his mission to befriend her.
Lo hates working out. No, that's too mild a term. Lo every single one
he hates to train, but regardless, he did it every single day
gym until he managed to charm Briar.
He was honest about his goals from the start and, fortunately for us,
Briar thought it was funny. Every single time
we go down to the club, Lola invites herself to have a drink with me, so
with that
thank you for your sacrifice.
"Isn't there going to be a wedding?" Shouldn't I even wear my bridesmaid
dress then? –
I coo as I poke in the side where I know it's tight.
- Do not do it! he begs as he rolls away from me. "Too full."
I'm with beer to be poked. – He stretches out, kicks off his shoes,
then reaches for the blanket spread over the back of the sofa. "I'll start right
away."
to prepare as soon as I held a micro-pihi. I swear.
Lola's micro-pee then turned into a regular one, and it's been forty-five
minutes now
I listen to him running up and down the apartment cursing while
frantically trying to get ready.
He blames me for everything, but he doesn't remember what he cut
to my head all five times I tried to wake him up.As I wait for him, I am left
alone with my thoughts, and so I cannot
to escape the realization that I'm a little nervous about being seen
I'll take Nate. In the morning, he asked Robbie to make a wish through
Lola
good luck to me, which was cute of him.
It's time to bury the hatchet. He's definitely a decent guy, as he is
everyone said that before. And now that I had a week
to process, I no longer feel so awkward after that the past
week, my willpower was shaken like this.
We are both adults. Adults sometimes let others
adults to prove they don't need navigation
tools to find a g-spot. This is completely normal.
"Okay, I'm ready!"
Lola is overwhelmingly painted by the black, strapless, braced Max Morgan
in her midi dress. She always wears this when she can't decide what to
wear
she says after costing so much, the dress has to work
the price. He bought it last year for one of his rare visits to Rodeo Drive
at one time. It's a beautiful piece, but her father wasn't there for the
pleasure when
received the credit card bill.
Unlike his usual curls, his hair falls in straight locks
on the back and eyes perfectly painted, bold eyelid line
frames. He looks at me and smiles.
"I know I'm sexy, but we have to go." Steve has been waiting for five
minutes already
on us.
As we walk through the gate to our waiting Uber, Lola
he starts chuckling under his breath, which is always suspicious.
- What is that?
"Nothing."
"Lola..."
"I was just wondering if you'd be able to keep me in your pants today,
but then I realized you're not even wearing pants.
"You're so childish."
- I'm sorry?
"You're not sorry at all."
He winks at me as he opens the car door for me to climb in.
"Would you like me to fall on my knees before you and beg for your
forgiveness?"
- I hate you.- Of course. Just like you hated Hawkins when you enjoyed
him
on his face.
Steve, the Uber driver, begins to choke, but doesn't say a word, which is
enough
also a reason for me to give it five stars when it hangs up
U.S.
The Honey Cup is just as crowded as one would expect
Saturday night. We chat with Briar for a few minutes, then someone
speaks to her
about a problem in his ear before he runs off to sort it out.
The guys have reserved one of the boxes in the VIP section and are ready
to
to celebrate their first win of the season. Meeting Henry
I'm most excited about - I don't think it needs it at this point
explanation.
Looks like we're not the only ones special
they receive treatment from Briar. When Lola mentioned it to me earlier
the boxing, he also said that Nate arranged it, no one should check Henry
personal. Nate knew Henry wouldn't want to go to a party a
on campus without them, she didn't want Henry to be alone
at home.
I'm trying not to get over how cute that is of him.
I buy Lo's drink, thanking him for the thousandth time
week spent doing cardio. As we head towards our box, a
my stomach just tingles with nervousness.
Bobby notices us first, then both of us so close
hugs you that it even squeezes the fluff out of us.
"I'm so glad you came!" he shouts over the music.
Mattie is next to proudly show me her swollen eyes,
which is already starting to take on a darker shade of purple. Shouting, he
tells the story
details of the fight, while waiting for confirmation from Lola that it is real
he was as cool as he says.
Most of them are sitting in the box, while the others are talking here and
there -
apparently they have no intention of going home alone tonight. Someone
however, I miss it, not that I care. The only person
the one I'm going home with tonight is Lola - I've already said that
him in Uber. At this he gave me a sarcastic "Ok",
then continued texting with Robbie.
I'm just in a quieter corner of the club with Joe and Kris and that
let's watch how Henry chats with two girls. The only good word is thatlet
me express how I feel, shocked. Both chicks
amazingly hot, with their hair tossed back and forth and their heads
thrown back
they laugh at everything Henry says. What can you tell them? Where is the
quiet and shy Henry I know and love?
Seeing my shocked face, Joe chuckles.
"Wherever we take it, it's everywhere." The girls are simply up to it
there are for him.
Well, that's it.
Kris huffs, then downs his whiskey and coke.
"I just want to know how he does it, so that it works for me too."
I love listening to them discuss their theories when it's a hand
slides to my waist from behind, then a breath tickles my neck.
"You shouldn't be drinking." You have a head injury.
I spin towards him as he pulls himself out, and I immediately notice the
ugliness
a cut on his face. Stepping closer to him, I raise my hand high and
I carefully run my thumb under it.
"Have you tried a four-round Lutz?"
Nate starts to giggle, making mine's tense body almost vibrate
start.
"Yeah, it looked so easy when you did it that I decided to."
I will try it too.
My body tingles from his closeness. No, only alcohol can do that.
Without a doubt, alcohol is the culprit. It has no effect on me at all
proximity. Neither does the way he smiles down at me.
Anastasia Leszarom Allen.
- What happened? I ask, pushing the conversation forward so that it
doesn't happen
time to freak out.
He raises his glass to his lips and takes a sip with a fake smile.
"As it turns out, the people of Washington State aren't very nice."
“That's a disgusting lie, Hawkins. We are famously friendly.
Still smiling, he shrugs.
"You will have to demonstrate this, as I find it difficult to believe you."
"Prepare to be amazed."
"I'm already in awe of you, Anastasia," he says, then winks
one. Then he walks past me and heads towards the box.
What the hell happened anyway?Chapter Twelve

NO THAN

NOTHING gets you pumped up like the first win of the season
home game.
We played phenomenally. It felt good to go out on the ice again and
to lead the boys to victory. Even Faulkner was happy, and he was
never happy so we must have really played so well
as far as I feel.
We desperately wanted to prove to the coach that we were the last couple
despite the bullshit of the week, we all deserve our place in this a
in a team.
The coach and Robbie immediately sat us down around the table
we take out the match while the memories are still fresh in our minds. This
I usually can't stand it, especially when we're winning, and I don't want
anything else,
just so I can celebrate with a beer or ten.
I don't want to recall the adrenaline going through my body locked in a
room
all passes and goals. The guys felt the same from the moment that
they took a seat - I could see this exactly from the way they drummed their
fingers
on the table, they danced, and obediently dangled each one of them on the
coach
at his word.
Now, for once, there was perfect calmness.
I can't make mistakes this year - every move has to be perfect.
Robbie wanted to finish as soon as possible, and his gaze was constantly
he wandered over to his smartwatch every time its screen flashed.
I knew Lola was somewhere in the building wearing the jersey proudly,
that I sent him.
The parties after the games are always the best. The student unions in the
evening
we start on the street, which is not my favorite place, but after that the
team
half of them have not yet turned twenty-one, and so they are not allowed
to enter the
clubs, it's nice to have a couple of drinks together before we part ways for
the evening.Then we head to the Honey Cup, which, in my humble
opinion, is the
best club in West Hollywood. B, Summer's roommate, who is also a
he's the dumbest mixer ever, he works there and always organizes for us
table.
Now that Henry is living with us, B has made a secret agreement with me
that
let's get the guy in without checking his profile after even
there is no twenty one. I had to promise never to tell anyone about it
I won't say either, lest it end with half the university on his doorstep
ends up, and in return I get him, Summer, and Cami the best
places in our home games.
It's easy for me to keep that promise because if the rest of the team
if he found out what I wouldn't do for Henry, I'd never have peace again.
Minutes after our arrival, the box is already full of bottles, and no
surprisingly - since quite a few drinks had already gone down by then - half
of the team
ass drunk.
JJ and Robbie seem to be pouring each other out with great enthusiasm
their hearts - they pat the other's back and hug each other lovingly
his arm. They toast over and over, even though I have no idea what they're
celebrating.
Joe and Kris continue to stare at Henry as if he were the guy
Discovery Channel, and they are desperately trying to learn how
does it.
Bobby, Mattie, and a few other guys pulled away
make friends with the guests of a bachelorette party on the other side of
the dance floor.
JJ and Robbie finally stop and turn to me as I
I'm still watching people while sipping my drink. JJ laughs,
then he pokes his head towards the dancing Anastasia and Lola.
"Have you managed to screw things up with him yet?"
- Maybe.
I won't even bother to mention how I plan
charming Stas, or how surprised she looked when
I walked past him earlier, leaving him with my friends. From now on
he will be forced to approach me.

HOURS HAVE PASSED AND I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING BUT

SIMPLY,
on her tanned, glowing skin. She is wearing a purple dress that is
fucking tight, which is so fucking perfect that her body melts every single
one
per square centimeter, as if it were your second skin.The neckline cuts
deep between her breasts and ends there
my ability to circle what she's wearing because at that moment that
my gaze wanders to the fabric stretching across her breast, all the blood in
my body
it flows straight to my cock.
Her wavy, light brown hair falls down her back and almost reaches her ass,
which I know how fucking good it feels to hold. He moves it at once
her hips to the beat of the music as she lifts her lips to her lips with a smile
he was holding a drink.
The song finally ends and the next one begins. I can see how
taps Lo on the shoulder and points in the direction of boxing, which finally
means
that I no longer have to stare at him like some fucking satyr.
I'd love to stop dancing with her, but I'm not going to be the guy who
he crawls into a chick's privacy when she just wants to have fun
himself with his girlfriend. I have to stick to my plan and I can't let
to be diverted by anything. Not to mention that I can't
dance.
When the guys realized that most of the bachelorette girls were already
married,
with their tails between their legs they returned to the box and the bottles
now
they empty even faster than before.
Lola bursts into the box first, her face flushed, her lips
drunken smile. He looks at Robbie like he's the guy
the most wonderful thing he had ever seen, then thrusting himself forward
with his mouth
he kisses her and falls into her lap.
Robbie gently strokes her leg up and down, then whispers something to her
Lola buries her face into his neck.
Anastasia comes up behind him and paints even more beautifully up close.
His gaze
he walks around the box looking for a seat, then when he finds it,
that it's full of ninety-pound hockey players, he shrugs in annoyance
eyebrows, but then he notices me, and without any shame
is studying
He sinks his teeth into his lower lip and flicks a line in his hand with his
finger
on the side of the glass while taking another look at the box. Right now
I would tell him to sit next to me, but then he leans down and whispers
something to JJ
into his ear.
When I notice Kris pounding Mattie's chest, onto himself
drawing her attention, then pointing towards Anastasia, I throw one in her
direction
a look from which you know that's why I'm done with him.Stas's clothes
barely cover his ass, and for about 0.1 seconds
I'm afraid to put my jacket over it. He pulls himself out, laughs
at something Jaiden said, then tucks her hair behind her ear and throws it
at me
a glance over his shoulder.
JJ spreads his legs, allowing him to step between her and sit on her lap.
Stassie wraps her arms around the guy's neck, and I'm surprised that the
the glass I'm holding doesn't explode into pieces - because it's so powerful
anyway
I squeeze
Fuck the plan. I'm going to suffocate with jealousy. I turn it down, which
it still remained in my glass, allowing the cold drink to cool the
tension burning in my chest.
Even before that, I jump up and drag myself in front of the feet of my
teammates
I could have a chance to think about this irresponsible, drunken flaunting
of envy.
Anastasia is either trying to make it up or she's just giving me shit, but
that's how you are
so, I'm already within arm's length.
I lean down, my mouth millimeters from his ear.
- Do you want to dance?
Heat runs through my whole body as Anastasia shakes from the cold,
because I love the way he reacts to me. I step back to give him room to
stand up.
But instead, he merely glanced back over his shoulder with the tip of his
tongue
she wets her bottom lip and looks up at me with her sparkling blue eyes.
- It is possible to talk about. Just ask nicely.
Stas grins as shocked laughter rises from my chest. Towards
I extend my hand, which he accepts and allows me to pull him to his feet.
I know the team is staring at us like we're alive
we'd be a soap opera, but I'll screw it up. Stas's body tightens against mine,
his face a
it is much closer to mine than usual, thanks to the twelve centimeter
stiletto heel. I'm pretty sure it's the same shoe that's red
left marks on my back, however, when my tail twitches,
I realize that maybe I shouldn't think about it now.
"I just asked you nicely." Would you dance with me?
"Only because you won today," he replies with a cheeky glint in his eyes.
Take our fingers together and my hand directly above the curve of her ass
places and then leads us through the crowd to the dance floor.
I can't fucking dance. All I can do is feel
I want his body to touch mine, and how to feel like one more
for the moment I have to watch him hold JJ, I'll rip the guy's head off.We
reach the center of the dance floor, which is illuminated by flashing lights,
but Stassie just keeps going, dragging me through the drunk, clumsy
dancers
between, to a part of the parquet that the lights barely reach.
– Our viewers will be forced to look for other entertainment.
In vain, the massive amount of alcohol flooding my bloodstream, painfully
I'm aware of the way his body tightens against mine.
- I can not dance.
"I'll show you."
A new song starts, something slower, darker, dirtier. Stas
she turns around in my arms, pressing her bottom against me as if it were
one
there is not even a hair's breadth between us. He leans his head back on
my shoulder and then my hand
trailing along her body until my fingers finally settle on the
on his hip.
Rocking left and right to the beat of the music, he rasps and stretches me
ass, until I'm so painfully hard, it's impossible not to
feel it. My head falls on his shoulder and I immediately inhale his sweet
scent.
"You're fucking me, Stas," I moan into his neck. He raises his arms to this
and he clasps his hands behind my head, and when I look down, I see him
her hardened nipple almost pierces the thin fabric of her dress.
I wish we weren't in a crowded nightclub. I wish
we would be at home where I could pinch her nipples and thighs between
my fingers
I could slide my hand in between, hopefully making the discovery that
she's not wearing panties again.
I'm almost gasping for air, my heart is pounding, my body is on fire. No
I thought I would feel even better after today's win,
but I can hear Stas' satisfied sighs as I run my hands along his waist
along as I whisper in his ear how fucking good he is
his body touching mine, better without a doubt.
I act like I've never been touched by a girl before
like I was never that guy in the dark corner of the club who was one
he holds a beautiful girl in his arms. Regardless, Anastasia's attention is
ready
it feels like a reward.
The song ends as Anastasia pulls her body off of me. when it turns around
his face is flushed, his chest heaves wildly, his skin glows.
I run my finger along her cheekbone and feel the heat
walks through it, and I see Anastasia's eyes widen as she does so
our eyes meet.I place my palm on the side of his throat, my fingers on the
nape of his neck,
I place my thumb on his wild pulse. I'm totally addicted to it when
such. When you forget about the game we're playing, when it's so complete
he looks at me with devotion as he grabs my shirt with his hands, as if out
of fear
I would like to leave you alone.
Our faces are coming dangerously close to each other - I can feel his breath
on my lips.
"Hey, pigeons!" We can go? Lo shouts from behind me. THE
I rest my forehead against Stassie's, regretting not
I captured the moment hanging in the air.
Stas lets go of my shirt, takes a step back, then taps it with his finger
his lips.
"Yes, let's go."
If Anastasia was in a nightclub, mine had a tight body
my reward, then, is that he sits on my lap on the way home in Uber a
my punishment.
I gave the driver an extra fifty to let the girls in too
with us, otherwise we would have had to call another car only two
to a person. Henry and Bobby are in the front with the driver, JJ, Kris and
Robbie are in the
in the middle row, Lola opposite them, and me in the back seat, with Stas
on my knees.
He wanted to sit on Henry's knee, but the guy politely said no.
So now he's fidgeting back and forth and leaning forward so he can talk
with Lola sitting in the row in front of us, I can stare at the narrow curve of
her waist
over the ass while trying not to think about how well it would fit there
my hand, if it's from behind... we'd rather leave it.
"Stassie, you need to bend over so I can tie you up," I say softly.
as I gently pull his shoulders back.
He doesn't fight me - he leans against my chest and lets me pull him away
his in front of his chest. I don't know where to put my hand, so
I end up gripping the seat so I don't make this situation worse than it is
now
even more of a challenge.
- What are you doing? asks Anastasia, tilting her head back until her nose
is
it doesn't touch the curve of my jaw.
- What do you think? "Although the car is full of people shouting and
laughing."
with people, we whisper for some reason.
I nudge him with his nose again."You can't touch me..." He grabs my
forearm and then my hand
slides it down to where my fingers dig into the seat, then pulls it away from
there
he wraps my hand around his body. A giggle bubbled from his lips. "You're
stiff."
I can't swallow the painful moan that erupts from me.
"Yeah, it's hard for my dick to understand all this fiddling."
it is not for our liking.
If that's even possible, relaxing her body, she leans into me even more,
then he laces our fingers together and places our hands comfortably on his
thigh.
This seems tolerable. No fiddling and nesting - that's how he can do it
I will get back to Maple Hills. Handshake and relaxed bodies. Pleasant
position, nothing to worry about here.
"If that makes you feel less awkward," Stassie whispers as the
he pulls our right hand to the inner side of his thigh until I can already feel
his leg
heat emanating from - and I'm fucking wet. "Legs."
spread out, pulls our joined hands even closer to that certain one
to point. "And I'm not wearing panties."Chapter Thirteen

ANAST ASIA
THE DARKNESS IN THE BACK OF THE UBER gives you more
confidence than you should.
Maybe the alcohol could be the reason, maybe the joy of getting into the
next race, maybe the way Nathan's body reacts to mine and
as he actively strokes my ego by saying over and over
I'm the sexiest creature you've ever seen in your life.
His hand is about two centimeters away from the fact that this trip home is
more interesting
so be it, but excuse me, I tried to avoid that. I
I tried to sit with Henry, who I knew would do his best to a
our bodies should come into contact as little as possible.
Hell, the guy probably would have insisted I sit down
on the floor in front of the mother-in-law seat, which would have been
perfectly fine for me.
But now I am forced to face the consequences of my actions,
and I have no one to blame for the state of my poor aching wet vagina,
only myself.
My vile, treacherous hips move completely on their own, wide open
and a longing moan escapes my lips as Nate slowly and
judiciously thrusting her hips forward as her hands intertwined with mine
still holding it between my legs.
His other hand slides down my thigh as my arm instinctively reaches for it
he rises to run my fingers deep into his thick, dark hair. My breathing
he slows down as he presses his palm on my stomach, and then starts with
it up, through the
on my belly, then on the curve of my breast, when he runs his finger
around my nipple,
though not decidedly enough to give any real pleasure.
"Nathan," I whimper impatiently. Her chuckle is dark and devilish,
from which I know even without words that he is doing what I do from
above
I want. His hand wanders to the other breast, and with the same ease
he tortures me with his touch, after which my back is bent into an arch in
his palm
I strain just to feel him a little better. "Nathan, please…"I give him a gentle
tug with my hand still gripping his hair,
trying not to notice the goosebumps running all over my body,
every time his hot breath touches my neck.
He finally pinches my tight nipple with his fingers while pointing his nose
to the side
he pushes my head, the beard covering his jaw throbbing wildly
he rubs my pulse point, his teeth nibble gently on my earlobe.
"You only like me when you're drunk and high," he whispers.
- Not true. "I finally let go of the hand between my legs, which was then
there."
I stay as Nate gently rubs my inner thigh. My chest
I twist and look at him over my shoulder, his eyes are dark, his lids are
heavy, as
our eyes meet. "Never, under any circumstances."
I like you.
His lips press against mine as he grabs my throat with his hands. THE
kiss rough and passionate, overwhelming and fiery, and a bunch of others
a word that my brain cannot even recall at the moment. It tightens the
my throat as his tongue explores my mouth, then he moans as my teeth
deep into his lips.
It is not enough. I want to know it closer to me - it has to be closer
be with me He relaxes his grip, his mouth wanders along my jaw
along, kissing and sucking my neck, his voice hoarse, as the
moving my hips rhythmically, I tighten them against his.
"Don't tell me you don't like me when I feel it on my thigh
how wet you are, Anastasia.
"You could feel it on your hands if you finally did something."
I'm so close to taking matters into my own hands
although I don't know where masturbating on his lap would get us anyway
on the bar/curse scale. A normal person would be concerned about the
viewing public, but
I could scream until the windows break, and we
our incredibly drunk friends wouldn't even notice. And then the
beyond drunk, Taylor Swift's “Cruel
Summer" before Kris turned the volume up to max.
We're in our own little world back here - the air is hotter and denser, the
tension steals the last drop of oxygen from my lungs.
I couldn't even tell you how far we are from Maple
From Hills, or how long has it been since I climbed in here and
I settled into Nate's lap. He spreads my legs wider with his knees,as he
presses his lips to mine again, this time even more possessively, more
more commanding. His nose touches mine.
"Can you be a good girl and keep quiet?"
I nod, ready to finally feel his long, thick fingers
they relieve the throbbing between my legs. Instead, however, one finger
delicately
he drags it along my clit until I can't stop myself from blowing it
one from frustration.
"I'm this close to doing it myself." tell me now
if you don't know what you're doing Nathan.
The last time I ranted about his inability to satisfy a woman,
proved me wrong.
His free hand slips into my hair at the nape of my neck, then tugs on it
look up at him. He rubs my clit more and more decisively before one
a contented moan escapes my throat and my jaw goes slack,
as the pleasure runs through my terribly tense and sexually frustrated body.
As his fingers are replaced by the edge of his palm, even more so with his
other hand
he squeezes my hair.
"One day I'm going to blow that pretty little mouth of yours, and then I
won't."
you will be such a demanding, impatient little bitch.
He presses his mouth to mine, silencing my moans of pleasure.
as he sinks two fingers into me, dilating me madly.
I shouldn't have promised to be quiet.
I don't even have to speak, just the cupping of Nate's fingers-
his smooth voice as they come in and out of me would be enough for
anyone to know
what we do. The music continues to blare, our friends for everything
they are paying attention, but not to us, and the familiar, red-glowing
delight runs through them
on my spine.
"Your pussy is so perfect," Nate hisses into my ear. "So wet and."
narrow.
My hips move wildly against his hand as he pulls away from my lips
incomprehensible pleas and moans ring out. My knees are trying to close
and my body would pull away from the feeling that was increasing inside
me.
Nate is holding mine open with his own leg and I'm about to
I fall headfirst into ignorance.
"Are you enjoying yourself for my pleasure?" Enjoy it on my fingers,
Anastasia, just show me
and for me, how it will feel when I stick my cock deep into you.He lets go
of my hair and puts his hand over my mouth to stifle my screams,
as the orgasm goes through my body and I do my best
I will do it to break the window with my voice.
Every part of me trembles, and the pleasure goes through my body as it
does
my eyes widen and my back arches away from Nate who
he moves his fingers in and out until the spasms stop,
when I lean against his chest like a boneless, sticky, satisfied mass.
He carefully pulls his fingers out of me, then his lips to my wet forehead
press
"Open your mouth!" he says to me, and when I look up at him in
confusion,
a strange light shines in his eyes. I take my word for it as it is too satisfying
I'm not ready to argue with him, and I'm just waiting with my mouth open.
Two
he presses his wet finger against my tongue, and I immediately feel the
intoxicating, salty taste.
"Suck it!" Feel how fucking delicious you are! he whispers.
- Well... - The music suddenly stops, and my whole body freezes,
and my eyes widen as Nathan quickly pulls his fingers out of the
from my mouth and releases my legs so that I can close them.
"Does anyone want to make out?"

I PROMISE MYSELF THAT the trip to Maple Hills is ten to go

minutes will be uneventful.
As she rolls down the window, Lola gives me a suspicious look
over his shoulder.
"Um, it's too hot." I need some fresh air.
Feeling drunk, sleepy, and satisfied all at once,
I look up at Nathan, and when he looks down at me, I ask in a whisper:
"Does it smell like sex?"
The guy snorts, and then lovingly touches his lips to my nose.
"I can only smell your shampoo." From now on, the honey will stand up
and the smell of strawberries, because that's what it will remind me of. This
is not very practical,
Allen.
Nate is right - it is indeed very impractical, but present
I don't mind at the moment. Nate hugs me and that's it
you chat and laugh with me until we reach their house.
Everyone heads for the door, some with small bags full of food
while others try to carry each other.I follow Lola into the house as Nate
pulls her out of the car Robbie-
t and JJ, who are so drunk that they fell asleep. Hardly the guys
we get out of earshot, Lo grabs my arm and pulls me away
in the corner of the kitchen.
"Did you guys have sex in Uber?"
Although there is anger in his voice, his face radiates pride. It's that big,
but
such pride.
- No, of course not! "I don't really lie."
"But you did something, Anastasia Allen."
Thick arms wrap around my waist from behind, and then I feel Nate
he presses his lips to my shoulder.
"Lo, Robbie's texting you to go get your chicken nuggets."
Lola's eyes widen as, knowing her, she probably totally does
he forgot his food. As she runs off toward the living room, Nate turns the
between his arms to face each other. With a self-satisfied half-smile a
tucks my hair behind my ears.
"Would you like to go to bed?"
"Terrible."
After grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge, Nate laces our
fingers together and a
slaloming towards the stairs among his teammates lying back and forth in
the living room
starts driving.
He lets me go first, then grabs me tightly with his hand
my waist so I don't lose my balance in this ridiculousness
in high heels.
"Stop staring at my ass, Hawkins."
"Then don't have an ass worth staring at."
We finally get to his door, where I punch in the code, then grumpy
I frown when the small light turns red instead of green
it flashes. I repeat. Red.
"Your door is broken," I grumble after trying one more time
with him.
"It was still working a few hours ago." Are you sure you entered the right
code?
"Yes!" "I punch in the number line again." - Two-five-three-nine... And
red.
"That's not my code," he says as he pushes out of the way and slams into it
four other numbers. The keyboard immediately turns green."What do you
mean it's not your code?" Did you change it? "It shakes the."
head, and then knocks on the door. I'm totally into it
convinced I was right, but then the tequila haze for a moment
takes off, and they realize it's not there yet. "Oh, sorry, tequila brain." This
is Ryan
the code of your room.
It's like the temperature of the room suddenly drops under the frog's ass,
as Nate's face shows almost all the emotions that exist before my eyes
flashes simultaneously. He unscrews the cap of one of the bottles and takes
a big sip
out of it, then he nods as if he's just having a conversation, to which
I wasn't invited.
He kicks off his shoes, pulls off his socks and unbuttons his jeans, then
he pulls the material down his muscular thighs, then reaches behind his
back and his t-shirt
off his body.
It doesn't seem fair to start this show not completely sober
I see. I'm afraid I missed a muscle, or at least one
from a freckle on his chest. He's an incredible guy, and he doesn't even
realize it
I stare blankly as he walks up and down in a pair of tight boxers
in his room.
He pulls out a black t-shirt from one of the drawers, which is blooming by
the neck
the Titans hangman and hands it to me. He sighs and finally speaks:
"Ryan, yeah, I kind of forgot about him." The guy you're flirting with.
I really should have expected this conversation.
"We don't brush."
Following him with my eyes, I watch as he sits down with tight shoulders
to bed.
"You told Henry you were brushing him off." I even saw him in your bed.
He doesn't seem angry. But rather... I don't know. I do not know,
what it sounds like. I have no idea what's going through his mind.
"For a while we had this thing with friends-extras." But now
he wants to go out with Olivia, so we stopped. "I shrug my shoulders,
hoping my fleeting explanation will be enough, but I can see it on his face
that
this is not the case. "We didn't even do anything that night." We watched
one
movie, then we went to bed, he's my best friend, Nate, and you
you have nothing to do with it. Why are you jealous?
Letting go of my question, he grabs my hips by his ear and
he pulls me closer until finally I'm standing right in front of him. To that
I expect him to say something now, but he continues to listen.He bends
down at my feet, takes off my shoes, then tells me to get out
from them. The relief as my soles after hours of agony a
Stretching against a flat, hard floor is almost even better than the orgasm
you have
I just got it from Nate, but I don't think it's the one for him
this is the best time to mention this.
Nate runs his hand gently along the back of my thigh.
"I'm jealous because I want you all to myself, Stassie."
so I'm jealous of every single guy who has even a drop
gets out of your mind. I'm even jealous of Henry, damn it
i love the kid
"The reason Ryan and I worked so well was because we weren't."
they are jealous. We didn't care what the other did on our settlement
outside…
"That's great," he says sarcastically. "I'm not Ryan, though."
He grabs the back of my thigh and pulls me forward so that my knees are a
slide on either side of his hips and I sit on his lap. In that moment
I am painfully aware that I am not wearing panties, that my dress
he starts to slide up and only stops when Nate's huge hand
he squeezes my ass, then takes advantage of the situation and squeezes the
my pussy
"I don't want to share you with other guys." You know that
I can satisfy you perfectly on my own, in any way you want
you need.
This feels dangerously close to monogamy, which it isn't
I want. I brush her hair out of her face, then gently put my lips on her
mouth
I touch her heel.
"Don't overthink things, just go for it." It's not that big
thing.
Laying me on my back, Nate climbs between my legs, right there
putting pressure where I want it. My fingers glide over his back to his body
to pull her to me and feel her every breath. More
I need friction, more pressure, more Nate.
"Do you have tires?"
His nose touches mine, once, twice. A rumbling moan escapes from his
throat
up as I tighten my hips against his cock, which is erect under his boxers.
"I fucking hate myself right now, but we won't."
to go to bed.Of all the things I expected from him, this is somewhere on
the list
it was at its lowest.
- What?
"I don't want to sleep with you." That is. Fuck it. I want to, but I don't
now. He rests his forehead against mine and continues more quietly.
"That."
I want you to wish me sober, Anastasia. I can't take another one
why are you avoiding me? I fucking hate it.
Rejection punches me in the stomach and I feel like I'm not getting it
air.
"Oh, okay." All right. Would you get off me, please?
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded." I'm sorry. I just don't want one
to be another drunk number. Put on the shirt! We can talk or
we can sleep or do whatever you want.
There is reason in what he says, but somehow it doesn't silence the passage
me
shame. Even though I try to focus on that
he wants me anyway, my lips tremble. It sounds like it is
he would want me if I could give him more than sex, which I can't
going The desire to please him and to escape from him
they tighten together in my mind, almost suffocating me.
"Stassie, please don't cry, fuck me." I want you terribly… but no
I want you to regret our first time the next day.
Without another word, I reach for the Titans t-shirt and head for the
to the bathroom. By the time I get changed – my face is still pink, my tears
and they could pop out at any moment - Nate already in bed
he's lying down, so I crawl in next to him.
He leans over and presses his lips to my temple over and over again
kisses me
"Do you want to cuddle?"
I lay my head on the pillow.
"I'm not the hide-and-seek type."
Nathan chuckles and kisses me again.
- Good night!
I wait until he falls asleep and call an Uber.Chapter Fourteen

NO THAN

SOMETIMES I DON'T USE MY BRAIN RESTING IN MY SKULL.

It's embarrassing, but I'll tie my pants and admit it: I deserve it
listening to me.
I'm a fucking asshole. Probably the biggest asshole there is
ever existed. After all, what kind of person literally climbs on top of a
woman - one
woman he's been dreaming about for weeks - and when the girl asks if he
has one
she has rubber, she says she doesn't even want to fuck me?
I couldn't have turned him down in his most vulnerable moment - and
I didn't even intend to. I hope he is aware of that.
However, even if you are aware, despite all my good intentions, still
I hurt you.
I was just drunk and jealous after Ryan tried
enter my room with your code. I fucked everything, simply because it's
petty
I was
Nice job Hawkins.
I wanted to show that I didn't just want him drunk
always, all the time. I like the spark in her and I want to get to know her
but now I was clever and totally messed things up.
I only noticed that he had stepped down when I half-comatosely turned
over
to my other side and tried to wrap my arms around his waist.
He clearly waited for me to fall asleep and I don't even blame him for that.
Since I woke up, I have called several times, but it goes straight to
voicemail
up. He only gave his number last night before he practically had a heart
attack
I was shocked. After cumming, she became so cute, sleepy and obedient,
he just sat there curled up in my lap and talked about everything,
he asked, looking up at me with those big blue eyes.
I took my phone out of my pocket to check the time, for this
Stassie mumbled something about me not holding the phone well and so
on
you don't see the pile of nude photos that other girls send me. To thisI
unlocked the phone and handed it to him to take a look.
whereupon he immediately opened the phone book and punched in his
number.
"How do I save myself?"
"Your name is usually a good starting point," I cooed.
Anastasia just giggled as she fingered the back of my phone
drummed.
"Mmmm." The ugly... I'll be more... bitch from Uber... No, that's one
a bit too long. Uber Ribs. Perfect.
I didn't stop myself from snoring.
"You can't be serious, Anastasia," I countered, but he did
by that time he was already happily tickling.
So now I'm trying to reach Uber Ribi.

UBER FISH

Pick up the phone Stas

Please
Pick up the phone or I'll transcribe your name
Then you become something boring, let's say you're Stassie
Anastasia
Just nothing Uber Ribi
I hope you were sane enough to remember
for that conversation.

All that's missing is for her to think I cheated on her.

After staring at the ceiling for an hour or so and no calls,
I don't get any messages, so I finally crawl out of bed.
When I finally make it downstairs, JJ, Robbie and Lola are just a
breakfast in the kitchen - they look like hungover piles of shit, but that's all
they laugh. Well, at least until I show up, when I do
Lola narrows her eyes.
"Is your bed cold, Hawkins?"
I half-heartedly shuffle over to them, rubbing my face.
I rest my elbows on the breakfast counter and prepare for the torture.
"I know, Lols, I know." How did you already know that? Not yet
you were at home"Since I saw you sneak out of here in your T-shirt about
an hour after
to sneak upstairs.
For once, neither JJ nor Robbie say a word - they just stare
their bowl of cereal like it's the most exciting thing they've ever done
have ever seen.
"I tried to call him, but he won't pick up." Which apartment do you live in?
I'll skip
to it.
"Have you been hit in the head too many times, hockey guy?" It's upstairs.
"In his hands."
he takes his coffee mug, raises it to his lips, and continues with his gaze
it throws lightning at me over the rim of the mug. "It wasn't even in my
mind."
to let one get in drunk, sad and in a t-shirt
Uber. He slept in Henry's room.
"And where did Henry sleep?" I ask as calmly as I can.
"No, probably hiding with Stas." – His smile is wide and almost
already evil. "They haven't come down yet." You know what guys say about
breakfast
performance. Henry is such a sweet and elf guy…always the quiet one
guys are the wildest in bed, you know? Henry will treat him well.
Even halfway upstairs I can hear his evil laugh, though it's clearly beyond
I'm too hungover to rush anywhere.
"You're not funny, Lola!"
Henry's room is next to mine, so the fact that it's one
I didn't even hear a peep from there, a good sign. I knock on the door and
wait
someone tell me, I can go in. Now that I'm standing in front of the door, I
can hear Stas
his laughter. I knock again but get no answer.
Fuck it.
Four nil as Henry is too afraid to exclude himself from the
from the room and can't get to his stuff.
Stas is sitting in bed covered, his face bare, his hair wet, in his hands
holding a coffee mug. She chuckles at something Henry said, but when
sees him, he becomes sad for a moment, then forces a smile on his face.
To my great delight, Henry is sitting on the floor on a half-inflated guest
mattress.
He looks at me, then at Stassie, then stands up.
"I'm going to get some breakfast."
He shuffles past me half-heartedly, then when I hear that the
he walks up the stairs, I enter the room and sit down at the end of the bed.
Stas pulls it out
himself and leans against the headboard of the bed. I still have my t-shirt
on and
damn, she's beautiful."Stassi, I'm sorry."
He flashes me the same forced smile.
"There's no need to apologize, Nathan." Anytime
you can withdraw your consent. I would never, ever regret
because you changed your mind. – He takes a deep breath, then to the side
he leans over to place his mug on the bedside table. - Just…
"Stas, stop it," I interrupt as I move closer to him.
"I'm glad you're aware of that, and you're right, but not here now."
this is the case. I didn't withdraw anything, I'm just jealous
I was "Yes, but it feels bad to admit it." "I thought that when we went to
bed,
then you wake up in the morning and disappear. I hate it when you're mad
at me
and every time I break into this fucking ice fortress you have around you
you raised, something happens, then I'm back on the starting line.
He listens patiently - no arguments, eye rolls, nagging.
"I hate rejection," he says quietly. "I never handled it well."
not even as a child. Then last night, your refusal completely fell through.
I just wanted one number, and you started talking about it,
that you don't want to share me with others.
She squirms a little in bed, then starts playing with the ends of her hair,
and I see
how uncomfortable this whole situation is for him.
"I feel like you want a relationship, or at least something."
more than what I offer. I'm really attracted to you, Nate, but just barely
do we know each other. I'm sorry I left you alone. Just simply
I didn't feel good and because of that I wanted to run away from the
situation.
You're right. I like him and I didn't even think about what he wanted.
"I like that you know how to talk about your feelings."
Anastasia snorted, then bends her knees to her chest, pulls the
my t-shirt and hugs himself tightly.
"I've been to therapy so damn much." It took me years to find out
to say "I don't take rejection well". Dr. Andrews will
to be happy that I was able to apply it in a real situation.
"You might end up being his best patient." listen i'm sorry
that you felt I was rejecting you. That was not my intention.
"This is all so fucking embarrassing." I wanted to ride you Nathan
don't start drama. I have to be honest: I'm not really there
for this whole monogamy thing. I don't like commitment.
I don't have time for that. My calendar is already full.He could not express
himself more directly and clearly than this. One
I don't like it at all - that is, except for the part that he wanted it
riding, because I really like it - but I can't say that
does not communicate.
"I understand perfectly what you're saying, Allen." You have commitment
phobia
i cut However, I would like to note that now that we have clarified this
you can ride whenever you want.
“Oh, Nate,” she coos in the cutest and most condescending voice as she
does
he flashed me a big smile. "I'm not drunk anymore."
You're back on the list of humps on my back, dude. Maybe later
I'll take you off if you give me back my track.
"I thought I was on probation." When did it become such a list? And
at least I'm on top? Am I number one?
"Undoubtedly the number one."
***

BEING ON THE TOP OF STASSIE'S “HUMP LIST” is the easiest job of

my life.
Every day this week we trained in front of him and Aaron, Brady
something
because of their shit, to learn from their mistakes in the regional
competition.
The only problem is that we started late every day of the week and
we finished practice late because Faulkner was always talking about
something.
Anastasia just stood there fuming silently, hands clasped tightly,
like someone trying to skewer you with his gaze.
"Stassie…" I tried to tell her as I got off the ice and left
I had to walk by it.
"Don't even start, Nathan, if you don't want me to beat you to a pulp."
with your hockey stick - he said so calmly that it is even more terrifying
it was like he was yelling, and goosebumps ran all over my body.
Yesterday he booked us to win our game in San Diego,
so Stas didn't have to share the ice with anyone, but not today
I think I'll get out of here in one piece. I see him out of the corner of my
eye
as I glide up and down the track. She's wearing a baby blue dress today -
nice and soft
the color is a strange way, it doesn't suit someone who is so seething with
rage.
Although I can't see her body, I'd bet that the dress is every single one
it just sticks to its shape, so at least it will be the last thing you do
see before you finish me off.I notice she's fighting with Aaron, which is
bigger on the one hand
it fills me with satisfaction, as it should, but on the other hand, it is so
engrossing
I notice that JJ is coming for me as I hit the railing.
"Listen, asshole!"
Glancing at the clock, I see that we should have finished a good quarter of
an hour ago
would be. Faulkner declared that we would end when he said,
and is ready to pull the strings until Brady shows up upset
drumming with his feet.
Every muscle aches as the trainer works us
like we're fucking marines and…
What the hell is this chick doing anyway?
With an unwavering determination on his face, he glides towards the
center of the track and so on
it seems... Are you serious about your choreography now? They will be
flattened.
Where the hell is Aaron or Brady?
"Stassie, get off the ice!" "He doesn't even look at me, just."
he introduces and then continues what he started as the guys slip away
around him.
Bobby comes over to me.
"He's going to get hurt, kapi." You have to do something.
Stassie glides effortlessly on the ice between the guys and I feel like
I'm trying to catch a fucking butterfly. The vision dressed in blue
it just spins and glides and looks down on the danger around it. The guys
half of them didn't even notice him so they didn't slow me down
to my shame, it is difficult for me to reach him.
I'm the captain of the hockey team and I can't keep up
with a one hundred and sixty-three centimeter figure skater - I never wash
this
about me.
He finally slows down to do some flaky, fast thing by the time I get to it,
and regardless of his terrified squealing, I get it on my shoulder. With his
fist a
it beats my back, so it's a good thing I'm wearing protective gear.
I didn't say a word, but you know it's me.
"Nate Hawkins, put me down, right now!"
I grip the back of her thigh with my hand to hold her in place,
then I'll squeeze it for a moment.
"Shut up, Anastasia!" Want to get another head injury?
He tries to pull me off, but I'm too strong for that, so that's it
he can hit you, and seriously, I've been in worse situations."No. Tell me."
Me. That. I'll take it. On! Put me down, Nathan! "His anger."
it permeates every single word, and I know hell is waiting for me there
the moment I put it down.
When I put it on the floor behind the slats where it is safe, the
his eyes are on fire, his face is red, and his fingers are clenched into fists
clutching at his side.
He puts a hand to his hair, laces his fingers together, and just shakes his
head
fully grown out of himself as his chest heaves wildly. I'm trying
to focus on her anger rather than her breasts, but this is not an easy task.
"Anas..."
"If one more time..." He looks me straight in the eyes, and then there
I freeze immobile. His voice is dangerously low and deep.
"If you ever dare touch me again, Nathan Hawkins, I will
that from now on you will only get on ice while sitting behind the wheel of
a road surface finisher.
Did you understand?
I bite my tongue because, damn it, so, so much
i want to kiss you He put his hand on his hip in the meantime and so
fucking
she's sexy when she's mad at me.
- I understood.
"You should have finished a long time ago, so fuck you."
my schedule. I have plans for the evening, and if you don't pull me off the
ice, what
let me practice, I'll be late!
"What are your plans?"
He puffs a line, then crosses his arms in front of his chest.
"Nothing you have anything to do with."
"Hawkins!" the coach shouts, drawing my attention to the ice again. –
Stop it already!
"I take one last look at Anastasia."
"Anyway, you're very pretty today."
He opens and then closes his mouth - he didn't expect that. On his face
anger starts to dissolve, his gaze softens, then, as one
magically, half a second later, it's all gone.
"Oh, screw you, Nathan!" he shouts and storms off.

I FEEL LIKE A Sleuth trying to find out

where is he going in the evening?"The cops would rather call you a bully,
Nate," Henry notes
from the far end of the room. I wouldn't be surprised if he knew where Stas
was
going - he probably asked, she told him. That way
things work between the two of them, don't they?
I grab my phone and hope now that it's drained
the workout, you'll feel sorry for yourself.

UBER FISH

Where are you going tonight?

Who you are?

You know who.

I think it's a wrong number, sorry.

Hmm.
I don't think he's wrong.
Are you going to a party?

He is kidnapped by a couple of bikers.

They're big.
All bull.
{**}

Great movie reference.

What a bitch.

You know what, Hawkins? If it's before midnight

you find it, then you can finally fuck the
"pretty little number". And then it won't
I will be such a "demanding, impatient chitri".
Is there a deal?You will look so good
with my cock in your mouth.

Have a good hunt!

Anastasia has a great sense of how to use against me

my own words, but now he gave me a great incentive to
find me
Fuck it.
Henry is right - I really do sound like a bully.Chapter Fifteen

ANAST ASIA
I AM UNSPEAKABLE AT THIS MOMENT.
Nate is ten minutes away from me when I'm only fifteen minutes away
back to midnight. All night he kept writing and begging for clues,
where am I? However, I didn't give in my waist like I did
no one else after I swore them to secrecy.
The more parties he goes to where I'm not there, the angrier he gets
on yourself. He wasted too much time checking student union parties,
which
it hurt his chances, and now I'm just waiting for the minutes to pass.
Twelve more minutes.
I answer the incoming video call and smile when his face is grumpy
loading my screen.
"You're still in L.A., aren't you?"
"Tick tock, Hawkins." You're running out of time.
He runs a hand through his hair, then sighs in defeat.
"This is my punishment, huh?" Why it dragged on every day all week
training? You're still mad, aren't you?
I get up from the bed and walk around the room while the phone is on the
holding it from my body, I keep my eyes fixed on his face.
"What do you think?"
"Of course you're still angry." He sighs. - I know.
I walk around the edge of the room and watch the recognition
it floods his face.
"You should know not to talk about my time on the ice, Nathan."
Nine minutes.
"You're in my fucking room," he says without any emotion. –
Why the hell did I have to run all over Maple Hills if once the
are you in my room
"Didn't anyone tell you there was a party?" But it's weird.
"I'm going to skin them.""But it's too bad you're so far away and won't be
back by midnight." –
I sigh dramatically. I'm enjoying every second of it. "That."
I think I'll go down and find someone else to give the chit to. Be careful
to you on the road, Hawkins.
"Anastasia, wow…"
It was pretty easy to convince Nate's friends to drink one
a bit.

JJ

I have a favor to ask.

It will make Nathan's night.

IM listening to you.

I may have mentioned to him

you can do this and that with a certain part of my body
With a body part that you really want
to do this and that
But only if it's before midnight
can be found on campus.

And how do I come into the picture?

How about,
if you were having a party
after you leave?
Which is only after midnight
find out

You are evil.

I'm in
He is writing in the common chat right now,
whether anyone wants to goto have fun in the evening Imao

JJ and I have developed a strange partnership, the root of which is that

we both love to get on Nathan's nerves. It was all last week
it started when I didn't know where to sit. Nate watched from a distance
and
he practically undressed me with his gaze, so I decided, a little
I suck it up.
Jaiden let me sit on his lap and jokingly told me if it was Nate
he doesn't show up next to me within ninety seconds that night
he pays for all the booze. Nate was there within twenty-seven seconds.
And he was also the one who prevented me from running away from the
house
after the whole jealousy episode and took me up to Henry's room to be
there
sleep myself He said if Nate found me in his room,
he wouldn't stop for a second to use his brain, but he would give it to the
kid
a chance to explain.
Since JJ is such an unconscious lover—she said so, not me—Nathan
sees him as a threat.
Sleeping in Henry's room was fun. Lasts with women's products -
with shampoo, facial cleansing cloth, hair band and tampon - full box a
in his bathroom. I asked him if one of his exes had left them here,
to which he replied no, each lady took them herself
for anyone who might spend the night with him. He wanted to make sure
that the
a girl should have everything she could possibly need, especially
if only because women never have their own socks.
I wish I had a sister I could persuade to marry
To Henry, because I love the guy.
As I go down to the kitchen to join the others, I hear
as the party rages on. It's a wonder they managed to keep it a secret. Once
only Mattie walks up to me with a bottle of champagne in her hand.
"Three minutes!" – Robbie hands out some plastic cups while Mattie
opens the bottle.
"One minute to midnight!" Henry says looking at his watch.
Although it is October, the inexplicable excitement and the clock is
continuous
his stare makes me feel like it's New Year's Eve.
The air in the kitchen just glows while our little team
except that no one has any idea what is going on. For this
I'm glad too, because it's all so stupid, but the guys are up to it.I notice that
they are very tired of Nate being any girl
you can get whoever you want.
Three.
Two.
One.
The guys start cheering, popping champagne and drinking. THE
a heavy arm is on my shoulder and I look up and JJ is grinning
I find myself facing his image.
"We're a good little team, Allen." Nate is about half a minute away.
Are you ready for the fun?
Bobby and Kris were on “Hawkins Watch” all night, and undercover
they sent information about where they were going and how Nate was
stuck. Apparently he's not interested in my offer - he just doesn't want to,
to win, because then I would be unbearable.
Which is probably the only thing we've ever agreed on.
From the front door straight to the breakfast counter, where all
we gathered. When Nate walks in the door, the first thing he does is to
he shakes his head and looks around the room full of people.
"He looks angry," Lola giggles.
"Yeah, that's for me," JJ says as he takes a single drag
his glass while unable to wipe the grin off his face. "If you don't respond."
as it is, then I wouldn't suck it either. You make it so damn easy
his business.
I decide to go ahead of Nate and meet him halfway, partially
because I'm afraid he'll kill Jaiden if he gets to the kitchen,
when a girl steps in front of him and wraps her arms around his waist.
Nate looks surprised—even more surprised than we are. Lola
he leans forward squinting.
"Summer Castillo-West?"
Summer lives in our building and works at Mézesscupor
with our friend, and at this moment he is whispering something while
standing on tiptoe
In Nate's ear, who looks at me, and after giving me a sneer
a half smile, a wink.
I drink the rest of my booze.
"Yeah, it's Summer."
An unpleasant, hot burning sensation runs along my spine,
although I don't recognize what it could be. I don't feel like itI feel it again
– it also spreads to my stomach, which makes me somersault as I do
I see Nathan take Summer's hand and lead her towards the stairs.
I don't feel anger, but something deeper than that. Excruciating and
maddening,
and burst into flames. I think it could be jealousy. Damn it!
JJ scratches the back of his head as he probes the soft features of her face
play. Expecting support, he glances at the guys, but they all have their
glasses
they scrutinize and avoid his gaze. JJ clears his throat, then back at me
glances.
– Nate has been chasing the girl since freshman year, but she has never
turned in the a
waist. I, um, have no idea what the hell is going on here.
That makes two of us.
I doubt I'll even blink once while Nate and Summer are up
they are upstairs. About ten minutes later I finally spot the chick a
on the stairs, but he is alone. You simply rejoin your friends and
he continues to drink - he doesn't look like he's just had one
fast march.
As I head for the stairs, it occurs to me that this might not be the best idea.
Drive it
alcohol, jealousy, and maybe some disbelief. What the
worst that can happen?
Part of me expects to stumble into it like I do the slick
comes down the stairs wearing a pull-up or something similarly disgusting,
but
that's not how it happens. I punch in the code—the correct one this
time—and the dial
flashes green.
Nate is sitting on the bed, right where I was sitting before our video call
under. He looks significantly more cheerful than when he walked in the
door, which
pulls it up immediately.
"What the hell was that?" I ask as calmly as possible
it only takes me, which, I realize hearing my voice, is not calm at all.
"Aren't you just jealous, Anastasia?"
"I'm grumpy." – As I approach him, he pulls out in his seat, a
and his mouth stretches into a half-smile. "You made me look like a
complete idiot."
in front of our friends.
He snorted.
"I ran around the campus because of you, literally all the way."
you were where I wanted you to be. Now think about how big I am
I feel like an idiot."You fucked another girl upstairs at a party where I was
there."
I'm!
Stand up. His body immediately towers over me, everything from the sweet
scent of his cologne
my senses are steaming. He stretches his hand towards me and tucks my
hair behind my ear, what
not even caring about me as I try to push his hand away.
"I don't even understand." It came to him and he had to go out urgently
to the bathroom. I just sat here and waited for you to come up and rage
a line for me. – He gently takes hold of the chin and pulls it along the
thumb along my lower lip. "I was wondering how it works."
this whole just-nothing-jealousy thing you were talking about.
"I..." "Fuck me." "Well, I'm mad at you, Nathan."
"That's right."
"I'm so fucking angry."
"It's perfect."
Our mouths press against each other, madly drunk and desperate
expressing the sexual frustration accumulated in us. Nate grabs the
the back of my thigh and picks me up, letting my legs wrap around his
waist
I'll lock it. My hands slide into his hair as both of our bodies slide over it
working to get as close as possible.
There is nothing romantic about what is happening. My body is his and the
door
sandwiched between our tongues fighting each other and his fingers a
they sink into my butt. A tortured whimper escapes my lips as
he presses his hips against mine and I can feel how hard he is.
Dragging his mouth along my jaw, he bites that one
point under my ear, into which my whole body trembles.
"Tell me you want me to fuck you, Anastasia."
"You tell me." "My words lose all their power as my heart does."
one on my neck, which makes me literally moan them. Before
I could understand what is happening, he puts me on the edge of the bed,
crouches down in front of me and
takes off my shoes.
It's absolutely amazing how it can go from rough to tender in seconds
to change. When the shoe comes off, I bury my foot under my butt and
I watch him stand up. There is a moment of silence as we just watch
each other. My heart is still racing, my blood is glowing under my skin, and
every ounce of me is hypersensitive.
His eyes are fixed directly on mine, so he doesn't avoid the
the surprise in his eyes as I reach for his belt catches my attention."Are you
free?"
"Fuck it, yeah."
She helps me get rid of her clothes until she has nothing left on her,
only his boxers, by the time they hit you at this holy moment, there's no
chance
to fit into my mouth, or, for that matter, anywhere else.
Nate just smiles while I sit there slumped over. But then I shake it
myself, because I'm not in the habit of giving things up, and then I won't
to give him the pleasure of starting to brush him, how huge he is.
"I recently tested myself and everything is fine, but I can pull."
rubber if you want? he asks as I run my hand along his thigh.
I shake my head and watch him take out his cock and squeeze it
its base and run your hand along it a few times. He bends down and on his
forehead
kiss
"Tell me to stop if I'm being too rough, okay?"
He holds the back of my neck with one hand, while pointing the other
towards me hard
tail.
"Stick your tongue out, baby." "I do what you say and, huge and."
to his immediate pleasure, I draw small circles with it on his glans, feeling
conquering, salty
taste on my tongue. "What a good girl."
I place my lips around the tip of his cock and gently suck on it.
He immediately lets go of my neck and runs his hands through my hair.
"Screw it, Stas."
He moans loudly, and in that moment I lose my ability to
to wait for instructions.
Placing my hand on the front of her thigh, I lean forward, taking her so
deep in the
I realize that the tip of his tail is touching my throat as I gasp for breath
to hurry.
A barrage of curses echoes through the room. Nate's other hand in my hair
as well
it slumps on the other side as I take over. My fingers around the base
I key it and start moving my hand in sync with my mouth,
while I moan and choke and watch with teary eyes
up on it.
Nate tilts his head back, his abs tense, his throat deep, satisfied
moans erupt as he thrusts his hips forward, pushing even deeper
himself into the mouth.
"That's so fucking good, baby." You are so fucking good.His movements are
getting rougher and clumsier, which I know he's like
is close to completion, and when I take hold of the with my free hand
he enjoys his balls.
"Oh, fuck you, Stassie." – As his body convulses, more
he grips my hair tighter and I swallow everything he gives
while my eyes continue to water and my throat to scratch.
I wipe the corner of my mouth with my thumb and lick it.
"I'd still be in a commanding mood," I gulp. "And."
I'm also impatient.
His laugh is deep and affects me in a way I'm not used to
used to it. It was flushed with a satisfied, post-orgasm glow
her face, her eyes glassy and wildly glittering, she paints so beautifully.
"You're incredible."
Nathan reaches under my arm and helps me to my feet, then tugs on my
clothes
strap.
"This has to come off."
"Who's in charge now?" "I'll turn around so he can take it down the back."
pull the zipper. His lips touch my shoulder, kissing back and forth as he
does
he pulls off the strap as the material falls to the floor.
I feel as if my whole body is filled with wild, unbridled power.
Nate tortures me with such low-key and slow, deliberate intent, he delays
me
the inevitable pleasure. When his palm touches my breast from behind and
he pinches my nipple between his fingers, I instinctively rub my bottom
against it.
- Ask nicely! he whispers in my ear. "And then I'll fuck you good."
The more Nate tells me to please, the closer he gets
I'm going to get in his picture, fuck you. I sweep it off
the hand exploring my body from me, then I climb into bed
in the middle and lean against the pillows. He places one knee on the
mattress to
follow me, but I put my foot on his chest to hold him back.
"Just stand at the end of the bed!"
He looks confused but curious as the bed narrows his eyes
walks to the end. My fingers slip under the material of my panties, then
I take the garment off myself.
Nathan's eyes widen when he realizes what I'm up to
he leans forward and grips the bed. I spread my legs so wide
as much as I can, giving him a perfect view that ison my unimaginably wet
pussy - so you'll get a great view of how two
I stick my finger in myself.
"Mmmm, Nathan…"
Except for my screams and moans, and Nate's once-
"My lord, my father!", the only noise is the wet, gurgling sound
in the room.
His tail is stiff again, thrusting proudly forward from his crotch at its tip
a drop of semen glitters. I alternately rub my clit and move it
fingers in and out of my vagina while Nate looks like he's about to
explode.
I think it's the way I moan his name and the way the
my back arches as I stretch my groin against my hand.
- Ask nicely! I mumble. "And then I'll let you fuck me."
"You're a bad woman," he grumbles, rubbing his face. "Let me."
indulge me, Stas.
He goes to the drawer and takes out a rubber, rips open the packaging and
pull it on you. Slowly crawling towards me, he places himself between my
thighs, then
he reaches for an unused pillow and instructs me to lift the
my hips so he can put it under my waist.
I can't concentrate on what I should be doing with myself because a
kneels between my legs, his body is as if it was carved by real gods, a
and his tail is thick, long and stiff.
"Would you like me to fuck you, Anastasia?"
"Yes." Yes, very much so.
Nathan leans over me, putting his weight on one hand and the other
gently holding my head. I reach between the two of us and the tip of his
tail
I start rubbing my clit, before we both get chills, and then
I point him in the direction.
"I'll be gentle," he murmurs as he gently nudges him
my nose with his.
I sink my teeth into her lower lip, and then immediately pull it along
my language in the same place.
"Don't be gentle." Fuck me like you hate me.Chapter Sixteen

NO THAN

From now on, this will happen EVERY SINGLE time

are we alone in my room?
I mean, I don't have a problem with it, it just looks too good
to be true. I've been fantasizing about what it feels like for weeks now
will lie on top of naked Stassie.
I was already thinking about how it would feel to be fucked when
He called me a "rich kid hockey star" and explained how much he was
cutting off the
hockey.
Even then I should have guessed what kind of trouble I was facing.
I have no idea how I'm going to make it out alive as it's my imagination
it's not even close to reality. I'm sure she'll be a different woman after that
I won't need it, but right now I can't even think of anything else
to his guard.
The moment Summer stepped in front of me, I knew who Anastasia was
will be stuck. He rightly put me down for being jealous of him before,
so when the opportunity unexpectedly presented itself to do without
hang the executioner, that I would really refuse him, I could not fail
away that.
I know how it all must have looked from the kitchen. I saw
as the faces of all of them look horrified. Guys know how
I've been scouting Summer for a long time, but this is the first time
I wasn't interested in the girl at all. Yes, I was shocked too. I gave him a
couple
tampon from the box under Henry's sink, then I returned the
to the ground floor.
I expected Anastasia to drag it on. Summer right now
only to get to the bottom of the stairs when Stassie was already storming
up.
Maybe he didn't like Rothwell as much as he did me, and he does
me, even if you claim the opposite.It's perfect that it was here the whole
time, as I can now keep it here in my room
all night and I can brush the jealousy out of him. Kindness
I poke him in the nose with mine.
"I'll be gentle."
His teeth bite my lower lip, which surprises me, and then he runs his
tongue over it
at the same point.
"Don't be gentle." Fuck me like you hate me.
Oh my god.
"I won't pretend to hate you, Anastasia."
He starts to squirm under me as he desperately searches for something that
it could dampen the pain. He narrows his eyes and leans forward to see
that it is
let our noses touch.
"Why?"
"Because I would never be able to hate you." "My hand on the back of his
head."
I slide to keep his mouth on mine, suppressed, loud, satisfied
her cry as I sink into her, slowly expanding her. "I'm going to fuck you like
like this little tight pussy is mine. And you like a good girl
you will wear it, right?
With this, I shocked both of us so much that we couldn't even speak, and
the only sounds are our rhythmic panting and Anastasia's soft moans when
I move my hips. It's freaking wet and it's so fucking great
it grips me that it's hard to believe I'll ever be forced to do anything else.
It takes every ounce of self-control I have to stay still
stay and give him time to get used to the feeling - I know there is
imperative that he will tell you when he is ready. Just like that, bent over
they are shocked at how much bigger I am than him.
"You just had to stuff it all into me, huh?" Fucking
boastful. – He runs his fingertips along my back while his hips
starts to move. I don't need any more signs - I pull back my crotch,
then I push forward again.
"Only half." – His eyes, lowered to half-mast, suddenly jump up, then up,
to be able to look down to where our bodies connect. "But."
I think you can handle more.
I pull back and then push my hips forward until
I meet no resistance. Anastasia's nails dig into my shoulder and back
she bends in an arch, thanks to which her belly tightens against mine.
- Oh, my God."You're so fucking good Anastasia, your pussy is so perfect." -
Leg a
he wraps it around my hips, crosses his ankles at my waist and squeezes
to keep in one place, deep inside.
“Nate,” she whispers like a prayer, “this is so big. I'm full. Ah.
Try to get me to simply enjoy your words, and fuck you if you do
he continues, he may even succeed. My head falls on his shoulder. My lips
a
I touch her collarbone, then kiss her neck until our mouths
finally not straining against each other, our tongues and lips desperately
clash.
He is stroking my hair with one hand and clawing at my back with the
other.
He's getting close - I can feel it from the way he squirms under me, from
the way his breath
she gets stuck every time the tip of my cock hits her g-spot, the way it is
the ecstasy on her face as I penetrate her even deeper.
I pull my hand away from the back of his head and slide it between the two
of us, and then until
I rub that little swollen nerve with my thumb while it is
his whole body does not bend into an arch, and his jaw is relaxed.
"Enjoy my cock, Stas." Give it your all.
His whole body tenses as he presses his face to my shoulder as he says my
name
she shouts, digging her nails so deep into my skin that I'd be surprised
if my blood doesn't come out. As her pussy pulsates around me, I slow
down,
I press my lips to her forehead, then pull Stassie with me on my back
I turn - his body lies soft and weak on my chest, while the
my cock is still deep inside.
"That's..." he gasps. "And you... Did you enjoy yourself?"
- Not yet. I want to see you ride me.
The number one thought of all the showers for the past week is over me
it was rocking Stassie. Since he just said it out loud, I didn't know anything
else
to think. From the way his eyes and lips sparkle when he looks at my face
he pulls on a fake smile, I know I can't expect any show.
He pulls himself out in his seat and slides down my cock until it's all over
not one centimeter of me disappears in it. I look at the corner between her
legs, there,
where our bodies touch, and I see that there is not even a hair's breadth
left.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
"Like that?" she asks gently as she brushes her hair from her face. His hips
I nod in awe, unable to form actual words.
She thrusts her hips forward and starts rocking, and I catch my breath. -
Obsession
rather like this?"Yeah, baby, that's right," I tell her in a strained voice.
After seeing her skate, I know Stassie is flexible. So
I have no idea why I'm so surprised when you put your foot to the side
stretched out and goes down into asparagus.
"And what about that?"
I can neither speak nor think. I slide even deeper
into it. I fucking don't know why or where it's coming from or where
lasts Anastasia places her hand on my stomach, lifts it, then lowers it.
The lightning of pleasure hits me with great force, and I squeeze the
his hip, that he will bear the mark of it for days to come.
"You're amazing, fucking amazing."
Every moment of his hips beats a perfect beat, I begin
lose my mind As Stassie lets go, I push up the
with my hips as his head tilts back.
"Right there, yes, right there..."
He falls on my chest and grabs my hair. Still at the same time
rocking with my thrusts to the joyful sound of skin slapping against each
other
fills the room, and I'm suddenly terribly glad that it's the door
a loud party is going on on the other side.
Stassie's body is perfect - strong and flexible, round, fleshy ass and big
with breasts. Of course, that all pales in comparison to how damn good it is
it's a feeling when you have an orgasm.
"Will you please me one more time, Anastasia?" - I giggle, as the
her legs begin to shake and her fingers dig into my flesh.
He mumbles something incomprehensibly under his breath, his tanned skin
glistens
in the bedroom light, her baby hair clinging to her forehead and face
an exhausted, satisfied expression stands out as every inch of me
he takes it in like a fucking champ.
I wrap my arms around his waist to hold him in place,
while I slide my other hand between our interlocking bodies.
I gently rub her clit with my fingers before it falls to pieces.
I really deserve a prize for not enjoying myself in this holy
moment, as his whole body tenses up - as he did a few moments before
I would have said it was impossible. Shaking, her hips moving wildly,
as he rides the wave of his orgasm calling my name.
"You're a complete demon." "Above, exercising his lips on mine."
experience while our bodies continue to fit into each other in the best
possible wayis holding on. "A real, sleazy demon."
"I never thought you'd be someone to give things up,
Allen. – I put the hair hanging in her face behind her ear and then take it
in my hand
his face. I'll take another look at it. Her face was flushed and her lips were
limp
she smiles as she turns her head to the side and presses a kiss to my palm.
"You're so fucking beautiful, you know that?"
"You're already brushing me off, Hawkins, you don't need to stroke my
ego."
Here we go.
My post-orgasm submissive babe there, the usual,
and his pompous self is back. I slap her ass, then again
I turn it on its back. I pull my cock out of him, then his disappointed moan
and
– as I turn him onto his stomach – I giggle hearing his surprised squeal.
"It won't work again," he moaned. "I just don't."
I tug on her hips until her bottom is up in the air and
this is the sight I will dream about every night from now on.
"Do you want to stop?" He glances over his shoulder at me and
shakes his head. "Right, then hold on to the bed."
Raising his hands, he clings to the bars of the back of my bed,
while resting his head on one of the pillows he tries to watch as
I position myself behind him.
I honestly doubt I've ever been this stiff before.
I rub my cock up and down, making sure it's enough
pay attention to her oversensitive clitoris, and the cold shakes her out.
When
he's already whining impatiently, I finally direct myself to his opening and
I penetrate her again.
Stretching her hips back, she responds to each of my thrusts, her bottom to
me
it crashes, thanks to which I can pound it even harder. My hand
it fits the curve of her waist perfectly, and the sounds it makes, I know it's
not
I will last a long time like this.
"I told you I was going to fuck this pussy like."
it would be mine, Anastasia, because it's fucking mine too.
"Nathan..." He moans, but still manages to speak. - Just that
in your dreams.
"Let go of the bed." "Satisfaction bubbles up under my skin, as
he immediately obeys me and does what he does for once
they tell him. Pulling her back against my chest - I want to know her
closerto me, it must be closer to me - I run my tongue along it
along the curve of his shoulder, tasting the salty steam covering his skin.
I slide one of my hands up her body and grab her breast, while the
I put another one between her legs - I can feel my cock moving in and out
of her
it bounces on my groin keeping a wild beat. His whole body trembles, his
chest
she waves, her pussy pulsates around me.
"This is too much, Nate." Too good, it doesn't work.
"Don't give up, Anastasia." - I slowly stroke her clit with my fingers,
firmly and restrained, when I feel that it is getting close. Mouth to me
he stretches, his hips twitch and tighten against mine, his eyes widen.
I put my finger on his as he screams and so fucking
it squeezes my tail that I am unable to restrain myself and
I enjoy the rubber.
It feels like fire is going through my whole body, consuming and
surrounded as if the flames were suffocating. Even long after that
I wince at the fact that we freeze into motion, while everything
I am filled with pleasure.
"Well, was that better than hate sex?" I growl as I hit his shoulder
I fold my forehead.
Anastasia giggles as her body squirms in my arms.
- HE. Sweet. My God. Shut up, Nathan.

The downside of A HOUSE FULL OF PEOPLE - I mean, beyond being

the house
it's full of people - that it makes it very difficult to sneak around.
After I finally manage to convince myself to slip out
out of it, I get rid of the elastic and put on a pair of sweatpants.
Anastasia glances at me from the bed and scrunches up her nose as she
realizes
I'm going on a mission.
"You melted all my bones," says Anastasia. Naked
she lies on my bed, her stomach twitching as she takes deep breaths.
It paints amazingly. It's unbelievable after what just happened, but my dick
he twitches in interest, but if I pick it up now, let's press it again
one round, Stas will finish me off. He watches me with interest as I cross
the room
towards the door. - Where are you going?
Not caring about his grumpy face, I press a kiss on his forehead and
I pull the blanket over him."I'm going to open that door now." You want to
risk that, anyone
also stand behind him, see you totally naked? He shrugs. –
Here are some things from Henry. I'll be back.
Henry is tonight's champion and I think I'll have to hit the road tomorrow
Target to buy a bunch of girly shit. I'll punch in the zeros, then
I burst through the door, when I am faced with the biggest shock of my life,
as Henry in a pair of boxers makes out with a shirtless chick on his bed.
"Oh shit!" I exclaim, covering my eyes. "Sorry, buddy."
damn, I need this box full of things from your bathroom. Sorry…
"Daisy," says the mysterious girl.
Holding my hand in front of my eyes, I head towards the bathroom and
close it
the door behind me, and I immediately find what I need
there is I steal some shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, a rubber band, and
a
hair brush. Then, taking one last look at the set, I grab a pair
socks too. Balancing the booty in one hand while the other
I cover my eyes, I venture back to what is really nobody
should be his land.
"The girl is gone." You can take your hand away, Henry says all kinds of
things
without emotion.
"I'm sorry, kid." I didn't think you'd be up here. Who was the
girl?
"Just someone I know." Briar's sister. – He sighs, what a terrible thing
I feel guilty. "Next time you have a girl, kapi, don't leave her."
yourself or I will kidnap you.
That's great.
"Probably would, buddy." I won't come back, I promise. Go,
find your girlfriend.
When I return to my room, Anastasia is right where I left her.
"Just now I accidentally ruined Henry's fun." Not more
you can talk to him, Allen. He said that if I leave you alone, he will kidnap
you.
He laughs even after I put his swag in the bath and by the bed
I will pick him up when I come back.
"He'd go for it, you know." She has that mysterious-but-cute charm.
How could I not know. Women are all for Henry. I turn on the shower
for the right power and temperature, I will set up together with Anastasia,
and then
I put him down carefully. I reach for the shampoo when it starts puffing.
"Nathan, he's going alone.""Why would you do it when I'm here too?"
should I do it for you? "He doesn't fight me like he does with my fingers."
I massage her hair methodically, each strand thoroughly
shampooed and then rinsed.
My fingers glide over his shoulders, and his body relaxes and heaves a
contented sigh
leans against my chest. It is so quiet and peaceful here, creating a strong
contrast with the
with previous ones - well, at least until I get my hands on the
bottle of hair conditioner, and squinting I don't take a look at the
on a text written in letters the size of an anthill.
"Where the hell is this going?"
Anastasia bends over with laughter.
"For the ends of the hair."
I clean it from head to toe, and when we're done, I screw it in
into my biggest, fluffiest towel. Stassie became more peaceful and faster
from passive to grumpy like anyone else I know, but from the way a
he's hiding on my chest, you wouldn't even know it.
I pull a Titans t-shirt out of my drawer for him and pull it over his head,
then I also put on a pair of boxers before I put him in bed and next to him
i climb
The raging party outside the door couldn't be less interesting. I'll push it
down
I turn on the light and position myself next to him, wrapping my arms
around his waist
he immediately pulls closer to me. He lays his body on mine and
he falls asleep almost immediately, his gentle snores caressing my chest.
Instead of falling asleep myself, I just lie in the dark and listen
her breaths as I try to come up with a plan to get her to
not to desire such a thing with anyone else.
And I can't think of anything.Chapter Seventeen

ANAST ASIA

IT'S HARD to have the BEST SEX OF YOUR LIFE when the guy you
thanks to that, it's unimaginably annoying.
"Look at my neck, Nathan!" – I fume when I get out of the shower
I see my reflection. It didn't even occur to me last night
let me check, but the suction marks are pretty damn spectacular this
morning and
they have become ugly, they almost jump off my neck. "I look like one."
I was attacked by a leech! Who are you? The fucking Dracula?
"I'll buy you a scarf when I stop by Target," she says
in a nonchalant tone as he examines his masterpiece. In the mirror
I see the unmistakable pride flashing on his face. "Don't be anymore."
such a drama queen.
"Shouldn't I be a drama queen?" If you give me a scarf, I swear
I'll choke you with it - I retort as I roll the towel off myself,
to dry off. "I'm teaching a class for children this morning." You know that
what do the children notice? Fuck everything.
"Compared to how small and cute you are, there's a lot of anger hidden
inside."
in you - he coos, then presses a kiss to the ugly wounds on my neck.
- I hate you.
"You don't hate me." - His hand slides on my bare stomach, then my body
pulls him to his. The towel hanging from his biceps doesn't hide one bit,
how excited he is at the thought of not going to work. THE
his voice is deep and dark as he whispers in my ear: "I wish you again."
"Mmmm." I feel.
"Give it up so we can go back to bed."
Why am I getting wet from two little words?
Why did I hesitate for half a moment to quit?
Is this what it's like to be charmed?
"Not everyone has daddy's money in their account, Hawkins"
I tell him coming to my senses as I slip away cursing under my breathfrom
his arms.
Even then, muttering, I threaten that next time it will be me
I hug him when he gets into his car - and he still does
grinning like a wild apple.
Last night was nothing. I don't know how it all accumulated
could it have been sexual frustration or the excitement of the game, but
the guy
he knows how to use his tail for the greater good.
I don't think I slept. It's more likely that it's simple
I passed out from the exhaustion caused by being brushed so well. Today
in the morning when I stepped into the shower and mentioned it to Nate
between my legs
throbbing, dull pain, he asked if he could give him a healing kiss.
Then he gave. Even twice.
"Would you like me to go upstairs?" he asks as he parks at my building,
so I can change before work.
I shake my head.
"You're just distracting me." I will be fast.
My real reason is that I don't have the energy to handle Aaron's reaction
to the way I show up on Nate's page with suction marks on my neck.
Fortunately, Aaron is still asleep when I enter the apartment. THE
reaching my bedroom, I decide that only turtlenecks are acceptable today
clothing. As soon as I had sufficiently covered the abominations on my
neck,
I head back down to Nate's.
"I wouldn't be able to concentrate if you were my skating instructor." -
THE
reaching over the center console, Nate puts his hand on my thigh and his
fingers
it draws patterns on my skin, right up to the track of Simone. When finally
we stop in front of the track, he turns to me with a hopeful expression. "I
can watch
how do you teach
"It's out of the question," I say as I jump out of the car and
I grab my bag. "Thanks for the ride!"
"Stassi!" - he shouts after me, just as I was about to close the door. "Later."
we could meet?
I pull my deadline diary out of my bag and turn the page to October 23rd.
Work, study, training, dinner.
- I am not sorry. I'm busy. Hi Nate!
- Stas! he shouts again, before I stop. "What about tomorrow?"
My eyes glide over October 24th."No, I have a plan." I have to go, and if
you call after me again,
I'll kick your car. I can't be late, bye!
I haven't even walked in the door when my phone starts vibrating
in my pocket.
NATE

Monday?

I'm busy.

Tuesday?

I'm busy

Wednesday? You're totally killing me, Allen.

You have games in Arizona.

I'm fucking
How do you know this?

Lola - The Hockey Scientist - by Mitchell

Thursday? He will be after us

your training. I will wait for you?

I have to go to the mall on Thursday

to buy a Halloween costume.

Ditto.
Strange coincidence.
Let's go together.;) Of course.
Strange coincidence, my ass.
The little ones seem extra excited today, so by the time I sit down for
lunch, already
I'm totally tired. I'm just trying to decide what to eat when the
my phone vibrates on the table and Nate's name flashes on the screen.

NATE

Can I pick you up after work?

No need, I'll call an Uber.

This does not make sense.

Let me go get you.

You don't make any sense.

Just because you blew my mind.

Ffs

3?

Yes. Don't be late!

You have to take it straight home.

No offense.
Scout honor on my word.

There's no way you ever will

you should have been a boy scout.I was, but I was fired.

Why?

I accidentally set Robbie on fire

when we were 8 years old

As he promised, when I leave the building at three o'clock sharp, he is

there
he's waiting for me in the parking lot.
"Hey, you little pyromaniac," I coo as I get into the mother-in-law seat.
He leans over, takes my face in his hands, and gives me a toe-curling kiss
he says hello, which makes my whole body run cold.
I try not to overthink it. I wouldn't buy that one bit
if Ryan kissed me and this guy did dirty things a
with my body last night… and this morning. Probably shouldn't be a little
I'm worried about a kiss.
"Hali," he chirps as he starts the car and rolls out of the parking lot. "Ha."
it's pyromaniac, give me your diary, Allen.
I clutch my bag to my chest and push aside the person approaching me
hand.
"No, I won't." How can you even joke about that?
"Like that thing is ruining my week." Why are you so busy? –
He places his hand on my thigh, distracting me for a moment. - In spite of
that
what are you doing that you don't have time for me?
I can handle it with a thigh grip. However, what I can't stand is a
pattern drawing, and the fact that he sometimes squeezes my legs. From
that
then my vagina starts screaming, and I don't think the girl can take it
with the consequences of being a picky little rib... again.
"I don't know, Nate." Maybe I'm learning? I train to fulfill it
my dream and make the Olympic skating team? Homework
am i done I'm cooking? Am I working? - His fingers playfully dig into my
thighs,
before I start fidgeting in my seat. "You can see me before or after training,
and
Thursday night is free, I usually have time then... then I have time a
to my friends.
Don't say 'numbers,' Stassie."I think if it's all about helping you achieve
your life is great."
dream, I will be able to find a way to put up with it.
When did you start planning your life in such detail?
"When I was about nine."
"Nine?" he spits. "Seriously with a color-coded appointment diary."
were you a crawling nine-year-old?
- Not quite. – It is difficult to decide when one should start dosing
the details of his life in a friendship. It's not a secret, and I'm not ashamed,
but
even. "I can explain if you want, but maybe it's a little deep."
so Saturday afternoon.
He squeezes my thigh again and glances at me as we come to a stop
at a stop sign. He gives me an encouraging nod.
"The penetration is going well." He narrows his eyes. - Not so
I understood.
Trust me, I know, but that's a very, very different conversation.
Focus, Anastasia.
"Okay, so I always knew I was adopted." My parents
very loving people. They always wanted the best for me. "Good."
start. – I was enrolled in every single specialization because it is the best
possible
they wanted to give me opportunities. I started skating, and a lot
I was good at it, and then I got better and better until finally someone did
came to say aha, the girl is a figure skater.
I stare at my hand as I pinch the edge of my nail.
"My parents told me every single day how proud they were."
on me. That I will become a star, a famous skater, an Olympic champion.
Nate starts rubbing my thighs gently.
"That sounds like a lot for a little kid."
"I felt a suffocating pressure all the time, which I now know with an adult
head,
that it was severe anxiety, but I loved skating so much, and as much as
possible
I wanted to do my best for my parents. "It ties it together."
our fingers. "I thought if I failed, they wouldn't need me anymore."
"Oh, Stas."
"When I think about it as an adult, I see that it was stupid, because it was
so much."
I really want to. But I was afraid of not being good enough for their liking,
they will push you away, and it all ends in a violent mania.
He doesn't say a word, which I appreciate."I couldn't explain what I was
feeling, and he was always angry and frustrated."
so my parents took me to therapy. They had a good reason for this: I
started
ready to become a nightmare. Dr. Andrews taught me how to express it
my feelings.
"And the appointment diary?"
- It started as a therapeutic session. I felt I had no power over it
over my life, which sounds incredible for such a small child.
Every Sunday night I had to sit down with my parents and write down
what I needed
i will do it that week.
- Clever.
– There were three categories. What I have to do is what I want to do
to do when I have time, and what I will do for myself, for which
nothing to do with school and skating.
I start to squirm in the seat tensely, as there is no doubt that this a
At this point, I'm starting to exaggerate how much I share
about my past, but Nate just glances at me and nods,
encouraging me to say more.
– When I was little, it was just a small one decorated with shiny stickers
it was a table. It made me feel like I could do anything
without collapsing, and as time went on and I got bigger,
the table has been transformed into a deadline diary.
- So…
"Please don't ask me if I know my biological parents," I snapped
in his word. "I'm perfectly happy with my parents and I don't need them."
I don't feel like regurgitating my past.
"I didn't mean to ask, Stassie." - I raise my hand to his lips,
and presses kisses on my cams. "I wanted to ask if those a."
ridiculously positive quotes you keep posting for therapy
does it have anything to do with it, or are you just trying to lull everyone
into believing that
that you are not the most volatile, the most commanding, the most
terrifying
female person you have ever met?
"Excuse me!" I am neither quick-tempered nor commanding.
Seeing my shocked face, he laughs and kisses my hand again.
"I'm afraid the evidence is very much in my favor." - Finally
we reach my building, where Nate finds a parking spot with the usual, “just
I'll throw you out" - a little further from the point. "Thank you for telling
me that."
me!"Thank you for listening." I know it was a bit… a lot.
"I can handle a lot." Anyway, I'd love to hear how it works
your brain. It is important for me to be able to support my friends, and in
this
it helps if I know about such things, I guess. "I'd say something, but
Nathan."
he puts his huge hand on this number. "Don't say we're not."
friends. Yes, we are.
I gently bite into his palm, and he grabs his hand with a laugh.
"That's not what I meant." He gives me a skeptical look. –
Okay, I didn't just mean that. But that your friends are not small
they put effort into convincing you that you're a good guy, so
whatever you do, it works.
His mouth stretches into a wide, self-satisfied grin.
"Didn't you just admit that I'm a good person?" just don't
did you just… compliment me?
- Oh, my God. I'm not even here anymore. Thanks for the ride.
Nate won't let me leave. Instead, he leans over the console and the
he also kisses the heck out of me.
I'll leave it to him. For a good twenty minutes.
I spend the entire short elevator ride trying to sort out the
my picture, because I never look so cheerful after work. When I enter the
apartment, Aaron and Lola are home and, as usual, something
they argue about unbakedness.
As Aaron notices me and immediately throws a strange one at me
glance, my nervousness skyrockets. I drop my bag on the floor
then I reach for a glass to drink a little.
"Hello."
Letting go of the greeting next to his ear, Aaron starts towards me, and
then
he pulls the material covering my neck aside a little with his finger. It's this
small movement
he was shocked that it had slipped off. Fuck it.
"You'll have to tell Rothwell that next time."
you'll let him near you if he eats something good first, Stas. He snorted.
"That's right."
you paint like a tramp. I refuse to go on the ice with you a
with these around your neck.
"Get off the girl's tail, Ice Princess," Lo calls out to her from the sofa.
"Don't be a little brat because you don't have anyone to take to bed, Stassie
at last."
experiencing the hockey hangover."Hockey addict?" - His gaze is frantically
running between the two of us, what
my heart sinks. "You're dating Nate Hawkins, huh?"
Lola's eyes widen as she realizes what a mistake she made.
- None of your business. "It really has nothing to do with it." I am a grown
woman
and I do whatever I want, but I still know it's Aaron
he is about to distribute, which fills me with dread. I've learned over the
years that it is
Which of the battles with Aaron can I win? Those at which
he already decided from the ground up that he hates someone, they don't
stand a chance. - Let go.
"Why do you make such fucking horrible decisions." Jesus. As if
he doesn't even respect...
"Just finish that sentence," Lo growls as he storms over
to us. "Fuck it, Carlisle." Finish and then
you will see what decisions I make.
Aaron huffs and rolls his eyes, then stomps off towards his net,
while muttering something under his mustache about how he is with
women
to live.
As the door to her room slams shut, Lo throws herself at me and
gives you a bone-crunching hug.
"Sorry sorry sorry sorry."
"Mmm." You will, Mitchell.

THURSDAY ARRIVED AND FIVE DAYS AFTER Aaron started

pouting, I can say that he is still pouting. Ever since I got home
from work on Saturday, he barely said two words to me, which I don't even
have
my problem, it just makes the atmosphere in the apartment quite cold.
I kept myself busy and some "deadline journal magic" - just me
that's what I call it - after that I even managed to work ahead and until
Sunday
to free myself.
"Put the phone down!" "Henry gives me his orders without
to look up from his sketchbook at all. "Or I'll lose it again."
Reluctantly, I obey and slide the phone back
in my pocket. Henry was my study partner all week - he settled next to me
don't be alone and took my phone whenever I was distracted by the
messages from some annoying hockey players.
Hockey players, plural, since JJ writes more than anyone else.So far, Henry
himself has learned nothing - he claims that he loves the last one
to drag out time for a moment, and then tensely, under the weight of the
destruction that awaits him
hunched over to study, but he drew me a giraffe, which was nice
from him.
I'm almost done with my task when I hear Henry
his pencil hits our library table.
"You know Nathan would never leave you alone, right?"
"Huh?"
"Yesterday." You said you'd love to be into me, because I'm not
i would leave you Neither would Nathan.
As is the case with most of the conversations with Henry, a
his words are still slurring, as evidenced by his suffocating laughter,
that leaves my lips.
"It was just a joke, Hen."
In exchange for a hot chocolate sprinkled with marshmallows, Henry
yesterday
he shared with me in detail how he was going to make me fall in love with
him,
if Nate stops him from taking someone to bed one more time.
Of course, my immediate reaction was to tell him, a thousand
I would love to fall in love with him, I stupidly added, and he never a
he wouldn't leave me alone in a stinky life, so just tell me if that's it
would occur. Apparently, this has been on his mind ever since.
"You don't have to lie to me, Anastasia." One like you, dear
girl is single for a reason - you don't have to talk about it, I just wanted to
so you know he wouldn't leave it to you. "All this with such fierce
honesty."
he says I almost cry. "He never left me either."
to yourself, even though I'm just your friend. He can see you naked, and
that's it
much higher pulling power. Before you even say no no
you see, I want to remind you that my room is right next to his
yes, you're fucking loud when you leave.
I can feel the blood draining from my face.
"That's… good to know." And with that brilliant closing statement, I think
it's time
to go to the track.
Henry and I pack our things and head to the arena a
across campus. We chat easily, thank heavens, about topics like
which have nothing to do with the sounds I make during orgasm.
It's easy to be Henry's friend - you know he always tells the truth,
and there is not an iota of deceit or meanness in it. This is the filter of the
weekThe honesty between me and Aaron gave me great comfort
in the midst of tension, and I lose a little when I reach the field
leave me alone
Why didn't you go figure skating instead?
I try to focus on the warm up, not the how
How sexy Nathan is when he shouts instructions to his team. What I
I step onto the ice myself, I'm already quite flushed, but Aaron for that
it ends immediately, as its unbearable attitude is as if it is
one would step into a blizzard.
"He's distracting you, Anastasia." You are clumsy. Don't waste it
my time if you can't put yourself out there, Aaron Nate complains
pointing to the person watching us from the stands. Today is her day with
Nate
we go to the mall and i told him he can watch my workout. Already
then I knew I was making a mistake when I said yes to him, why
i expected aaron to act like an ass but so nicely
he asked that I couldn't say no to him.
"It doesn't even distract me!"
Right now, the only thing distracting is Aaron's attitude.
His movements are stiff and sharp, we're just out of sync,
and when you try to lift it, it squeezes you a little more than
usually used to. It's all frustrating and confusing, and by the time we're
done,
I would prefer to lock myself in a room and kill myself.
No sooner had we finished than Aaron stormed off to the locker rooms and
Nate
he walks awkwardly towards me. I don't even have to tell him—
everyone could clearly see how much of a disaster this training was.
We were horrible.
"I can kick your ass if you want." "He takes my face in his hands, why?"
I hide in the warmth of your palm.
"If you hurt me, I won't be able to leave the district in two weeks."
"I bought the broadcast."
"But if we can't get any further from there, you would definitely hit the."
with your car, that's not my problem anymore.
"I bought it too." – He starts giggling, then leans forward to kiss
press on my forehead. I'm sure Brady is in here somewhere
he lurks nearby and judges me, but as my arm wraps around Nathan
I weave and let his calm come through, I just can't
worrying about what my coach thinks.Following Nate's example, I take a
few deep breaths, and immediately the a
urge to burst into sobs.
- Thanks for waiting!
"May I make a suggestion regarding our plans?" he says carefully as he
he turns my face towards him. "I don't want to tease a."
with a deadline diary, but I feel that your current mood justifies something
change.
He is so careful with me, so gentle that in the end he even cuts me to
pieces
Turkish. He leans forward, his face inches from mine, waiting for me
cover the remaining distance.
"I won't kiss you until you hear my offer."
Her smile is so beautiful that I'm about to die, but I just hold on,
while focusing on moving the air in and out of my lungs,
and thus make me seem like a normal human being in front of this
painfully attractive guy
before.
"Instead of going to the mall, we'll stop by for a meal," he said
to your place, then we will order a costume online. You can sleep with me
because after
on saturday i took you to work and bought a bunch of girly crap at target
and
I think you need a little Aaron relief right now.
"You assumed you'd be able to convince someone else to go to bed."
with you? – I gulp as I already feel better.
"You haven't even seen the cool stuff I got." Henry's box
he looks like a pure amateur next to him. You will beg to sleep with me.
“What a well thought out plan, Hawkins.
"It's a great plan." And I'll even take you home in the morning so you can
get through it
get dressed, then drop me off for class. I'm Amondo, this is the best one yet
my plan.
Closing the distance between us, I press my lips to his.
When his tongue is pressed against mine, it's hard to remember that it's
public
we are in place. Finally he pulls away from me.
"Then can I take this as a yes?"
"Yes."Chapter Eighteen

NO THAN
We've been parked in front of the house for three minutes now and still no
sign of Stassie
indicated that he wanted to get out, so we'll just sit here any longer-
less comfortable in silence.
Clutching the strap of her bag, she stares into the distance, her body with
eyes
he visibly tenses up. I know you're lost in thought right now
he overthinks things, and since I don't want to disturb him, a little more
I'll let him wallow in them.
A few more minutes pass and her lips are still drawn into a thin line,
so I extend my hand towards it and run it gently with my finger
on his face, then I clear my throat to attract the
attention. I wrap one lock of her hair on my finger before she turns to me
listen to what I have to say.
"Would you like to play mom and dad?"
- What? He sounds confused, which I can't blame. His eye
small wrinkles appear next to him as he gives me a strange look. –
Daddy-mama?
"Like the one you played as a child."
His face slowly smooths out, the corners of his mouth just turn up.
"And what does that include?" We'll pretend to be us
the boys mom and dad?
"We'll forget about the outside world until tomorrow." I mean, if it's JJ's
mom
he calls me, I'll beat him, but besides that, how do you usually say when
are you posting all kinds of motivational crap out of the blue? - only
positive
energies.
"I'm not even kidding!" I really am such a positive personality - he says
the ebet to the stake, lying to us. Puffs a line and arms
defiantly crosses it in front of his chest, but then is unable to hold on and
his played-out grumpy image softens. "Have you always been this cute?"
You're not at all what I expected."Yes, exactly as my mother raised me to
be." If I like you, I like you.
I'm an all-or-nothing person, always have been.
A small spark of panic ignites in me when they realize that
maybe you'll misunderstand my words after that, like last time
we talked about what he was looking for, but then luckily he laughed.
"Based on your status on campus, I thought so."
you've already covered half of Maple Hills by now. The title of captain
practically guarantees you can get anyone, right?
"I really brushed it off, and yes, that's pretty much what it means."
I'm not sure he expected that answer because his eyes
he turns around and just stares at me.
- HE.
"Are you seriously condemning me for my male promiscuity?" You, the just-
nothing-
queen of commitment? "His jaw drops and he's about to try."
stuttering to argue with me, but I don't give him the chance to do that,
because
I enjoy that you don't get to talk. "Sleeping with someone and liking
someone."
two different things. If I like someone, I want to be near them
and I want to know him. It's not often that something more happens
I want from someone, however, when it turns out like this, I make him the
most important.
"God, you're so clingy," he grumbles, his face flushed. One
he reaches for the door opener with one hand, while he clutches his bag
with the other. –
Let's go inside the house before the kids start a fight.
It's a great feeling when your best friends like the girl you like
she likes him, but we've barely entered the house when she spots me
behind me
Anastasia, and they switch to golden retrievers again. If not your own
I would see it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. I've known these for
years
guys, and I've never seen them act like Stas and
With Lola.
Henry speaks first.
- What are you doing here? Don't you feel like going to the movies with us?
Are you staying for the evening?
Stassie wraps her arms around my waist, leans into me, then grins at me,
before glancing back at Henry.
"Nathan kidnapped me because he wants to play daddy and mommy."
"You can always call me daddy, Stassie," JJ calls out to her
from the couch."Head up!" – I gently push Anastasia towards the stairs
with my hip. –
Stop being such a scumbag, Johal. He doesn't need you.
JJ let out a loud snort.
"I don't think so." Everyone needs me.
As Anastasia heads for the stairs, Henry's brow furrows.
"Not for me, JJ," he mutters under his breath.

BEING TOTALLY SOBER WITH STASSIE is probably the new favorite

my pastime.
I love talking to him. Of course, this sounds obvious, and it is
too, but I love listening to how he just throws himself into a story.
I love how you have to hold yourself back from laughing
when he tells about something that Lola said and the sadness
also his smile when he talks about Seattle. Although I've heard it twenty
times, a
from his horrible Russian-accented Brady impersonation is still a
I will hold my stomach.
He has opinions and interests and he's all geeky
beneath his organization and competitive nature hides a woman who just
wants to
to perform well. This makes me feel like crap for being dramatic
I titled it because, don't get me wrong, it has its moments, but the day
in the end he simply stands by his goals and was horrified.
The other funny discovery I made about sober Stassie is that to
compared to how theoretically he is against excessive hiding,
he's actually pretty darn cuddly.
I mean, he literally snuggles up to me.
He doesn't even hide. He's holding on.
Like a koala bear.
Or a sloth.
He wraps his whole body around me. He buries his face into my neck, his
hair
he tickles my nose constantly, his leg wraps around my waist,
thanks to which I have no choice but to balance on my ass
my laptop while scrolling through the costume page with one hand, a
I rub his back with the other.
As much as I wish he wouldn't feel like shit, especially with what
Aaron is so out of it because of me, I'm glad he's with me and not me
pushes you away."Do you have any fat on your body at all?" he puffs as he
slides down
on my body, until finally he sits on my hip in a riding seat to face me
let's be with each other. "It's like lying on the pavement." You are totally
massive.
I close my laptop and put it on the floor to give my full attention to the
to turn it into a beautiful woman lying on top of me.
It almost gets lost in my t-shirt, which I also love. Weird, I know.
I wonder if there is some psychological reason for being so
the thought of her wearing my clothes turns me on.
"I'm sorry that the body I work so hard for is not comfortable."
mattress for you. – I run my thumb along her bottom lip,
and when he pokes his teeth, with a devilish expression on his face,
playfully into my fingertip
he eats deeply, every drop of my blood rushes to my cock. "But I'm sure."
in that you really love my body for another reason.
He tightens his hips against my stiff cock, which is just trying to come out
from my boxers, and, for heaven's sake, just a little wiggle and that's it
I'm losing my mind to this girl.
"Do you know what I want?" he murmurs as he points to my navel
he draws one by one around my abs with one finger.
"Tell me, Anastasia, what do you want?"
"For dinner." – He starts giggling, then rests his head on his forearm
lays back on my chest. - Starving.
I've been trying to get him to decide what he wants to eat since we got
home. Which
impossible and very frustrating, in fact, perhaps the most infuriating of my
life so far
proved to be his task.
I offered to order something. That I cook for him. That
then I will choose something for him, but all my suggestions are grunts and
head shakes
received it. So now I'm going to try it again, albeit first
I lean forward and plant a kiss on the tip of his nose, because he's like that
every second
it looks fucking cute.
"Hamburgers?"
"Too many calories."
"Pizza?"
– Calories.
When I pick up the Thai food for the thousandth time, it rings
his phone is next to us.
"Excuse me, let me put this on… Hey Ry!" - He keeps the phone away
from himself,
as the guy's face fills the screen.Great.
- What's new? Stas adds cheerfully.
"Hey, I just brought Liv back from rehearsal and saw Lo." He said,
Aaron hung you up so I just wanted to look at you. –
I try not to glance at his phone behind my shoulder because of the angle
based on that, I can't decide whether I'm in the picture or not. "We're
leaving."
throw a couple of chicken wings into the Kennys, if you'd like
to join?
There's some low muttering in the background and Ryan chuckles.
"Liv greets you." Looks like I'm too tall and I'm covering him.
"Hey, Olivia!" Yes, he just brings his usual charming manner, but nothing
gas. He's just out because he thinks I'm irresponsible… I handle some
things.
Me. I am the 'things'.
– And a horse blanket is always ready right before the races, but also on
the day
it will be okay and that's all i need. I could kill the
Kenny's for chicken wings, but it's not working now. Thank you for calling
me.
"I brought up the chicken wings, but you said no," I mutter
quietly.
He glances at me, rolling his eyes.
"Calories," he says quietly.
"Did you really say 'calories'?" Ryan snaps. –
Is Aaron trying to poke fun at what you're eating again? Wait… with who
or just?
"Nathan," Stassie says, then puts the phone aside to say it's Ryan
see her lying on my bare chest. "And no one makes fun of it."
nothing, so don't get involved. Two weeks until district championships,
Ryan.
We cannot all live on saturated fats and carbohydrates.
To my greatest surprise, when I look at the phone and
I give a polite nod to Ryan, I'm met with a wide grin
myself.
"Good to see you took my advice, Allen." I don't even bother
continue the evenings. Hey guys! Let me know if you'd like
to join.
Stassie hangs up and without a word puts down the phone next to us
phone.
"What kind of advice did you take?""Huh?" Oh, well, um, Ryan told me
not to be so relentless
against you and give you a chance. He said you're a good guy and don't
let me be so stubborn.
I've always said how much I like Ryan - ask him
anyone with courage. I've always said that he's incredibly smart, and he's
also wise
well, someone worth listening to. All other crap with that
I solemnly withdraw.
"And then he also said that science should sleep with you."
for his sake, Lo agreed with him.
I like Anastasia's friends. Good people.
"So that's how you give me a chance?"
However you are going to answer my question, I am ready for it. Whatever
he says, he'll still be here in my bed. I know where he pulled the
border, and at the moment I am very satisfied with which side
I stand by this limit.
- Yes I believe. Although, if you don't feed him soon, he might
I get hungry, and then who knows what will come out of my mouth,
or what I'm going to do with you.
"Then I'll order from Kenny's." If you want chicken wings, then
you also get chicken wings. – He buries his face in my chest and moans,
then
muttering some nonsense about getting fat.
"Oh, shut up, Anastasia." "I start laughing, then they hiss,
as he pokes me in the side because I told him to shut up. "In fictional
worlds."
calories don't exist anyway. And then it's just one meal, and you're a day
you burn hundreds of extra calories. OK?
Wrapping the end of one of her strands around her fingers, she plays
nervously
with her hair. Finally he nods.
"Okay."
"We don't need to talk about it now, but I want to know what Ryan
meant."
under Aaron making fun of what you're eating. Now what?
what do you want me to order for you?
An hour later I'm dealing with a much more cheerful girl.
A nice big bowl of boneless chicken wings and cheese fries, and the
his mouth is already stretched into a wide smile and he looks at me as if I
were him
I would have created the sun. However, all I did was submit the
order and went out to the front door for food, but that's enough for Stas
enough to be beside yourself with pleasure.Henry didn't even know where
to look when Stassie headed for the kitchen
he floated by in my t-shirt. And when biting the front wing
he moaned loudly, no one knew where to look. JJ opened his mouth, but
then even he came to his senses, which made me extremely relieved,
as we have a game on saturday and I wouldn't be happy if one of them was
eliminated
my protector.
However, Henry and his worried image can do nothing
stopped. He tries very hard not to let the first thing slip out of him
it just comes to mind, but it doesn't always succeed.
Stassie bites into the next chicken wing before Henry's forehead
wrinkles deepen.
"I know I'll be able to hear you moaning later."
Stassi. It doesn't seem fair that you torture him with this even during
dinner.
"Fuck me, Hen," blurts out JJ, spitting his drink on the breakfast counter.
Anastasia covers her mouth, and even I don't know how to do that
to answer. This is a sign to me that it's time to make him disappear my
friends
from nearby. As soon as he has finished eating and washed his hands, I
drag him back
upstairs.
The moment the door to my room closes, Stas pushes it
he wraps his arms around my body, and pulls my face down to his.
Stassie's soft body almost melds with mine as she fingers the
drills into my hair.
"Where's the hurry?" - I ask, while I push it down
my sweatpants because I'm not crazy enough to wear too much
ask me when you're kissing me like that.
"Henry told me I'm very loud when I'm enjoying myself."
so I want to know now before the guy goes to sleep.
Jesus Maria.
Countless things came to mind as to what he might answer, but this
it wasn't even on the list.
My hand under the thin material of the T-shirt he is still wearing, Stas's leg
it slides in between, then I run my finger along her panties. He is more
than that
she presses against my hand wanting pressure as she fingers my biceps
they squeeze and her tongue moves with mine.
The little sounds he makes and his movements drive me crazy. With a
groan
and squirms and just gasps for air when I kiss all over theneck and I grab
the back of her thigh so I can get her on my hip,
then I turn around and push him against the door.
I fucking want to sink into it. Almost nothing else since Saturday night
i can think Her rocking hips tighten against mine again and again, what is
it
goosebumps running all over my body.
"What if I like it when you're loud?"
"Then do something to make me scream, Hawkins."
I drop her back to the floor, grab her panties on both sides, and then when
he nods to me, I pull it down to his ankles. The panties are followed by the
t-shirt, completely
stripping her – rubbing her thighs together, her face rosy, her eyes
it shines like glass. She is the sexiest woman I have ever seen, and I doubt
it
would be aware of this. Leaving Stassie at the door, I throw myself down
on my bed and lean back.
- What are you doing? - He puts his hands on his hips and tilts his head to
the side,
while being equal parts confused and grumpy.
"I'm waiting for you to bring your ass here and sit on my face, Anastasia."
What else would I do?
I love playing mom and dad.Chapter Nineteen

ANAST ASIA

I LOVE HALLOWEEN SO MUCH IF I'm happy with my costume.

Although Nate and I ended up not ordering anything at that moment
I knew what I wanted to dress for when I woke up yesterday morning
in his bed.
When I opened my eyes, Henry was sitting there with a terribly repentant
expression
At the end of Nate's bed. Nate was standing next to him in a pair of
boxers, his arm around her
crossed in front of his muscular chest, a grumpy expression on his face like
of a parent disappointed in their child.
- Say it! Nate grumbled.
Henry half-heartedly moved a line while spinning the
your phone.
"I'm sorry, Anastasia!"
- What are you sorry about? I looked up at Nate, who was still oozing with
a
angry-daddy-energy that started me off on a low note.
"I'm sorry for embarrassing you about your sex life and
how do you eat chicken wings The volume is relative, I guess, and you a lot
you are quieter than Kitt…
"Okay, okay, shut up, we're done!" Nate cut in as he
he pulled her off the bed and pushed her towards the door. "Apparition!"
Out of the three of us, I was the most overwhelmed, as a result
I felt a desire for revenge against the overly fearful guy who was responsible
for all of this
volt.
Nate seemed unfazed, climbing back into bed,
his huge body covered mine as he settled between my legs.
Even then, I was thinking about how grumpy I am
when he started kissing my neck while rocking his hips.
"Still, how can you think about sex when you just had it."
embarrassed in front of your best friend?His body immediately froze, his
head pulled back so that I could see he was confused
his face.
"First of all, sex is always on my mind when I'm with you… ouch!" –
he whined. "Don't pinch yourself." I'm sorry if you were embarrassed, that
was not my intention.
I didn't like what he told you. I don't want you to tense up when
are you here.
"I'm not even tense when I'm here... That is, now I am." Now
I would like to hide forever.
Nathan's grin is from ear to ear.
"It makes me happy, except for the hiding part." Sorry to bother you
you came, but Henry can't get away with things just because he's cute.
"Really cute," I nodded in agreement. "I love her, Nathan, but."
so much so that it's starting to get confusing. I would tear you apart. I do
not want,
to think he was in trouble because of me.
"He's a very lovable guy." – Nathan pressed a delicate kiss on my nose
to his mountain, diverting my attention for a moment. "But if not."
he's learning, one day he's going to really piss someone off. I'm worried
about what will happen
with him when we all graduate, so now I have to teach.
"As much as I don't like waking up to Henry's repentant image,
the whole sexy-but-caring-dad thing is quite fitting.
"Don't even joke about that, Anastasia!" "Then that's it."
his demeanor changed and immediately he thrust his hips into me again. –
Because in the end, I'll put a doll inside you right now, and then you can
teach the
cocky little skaters like Brady.
- Get off me! - I told him playfully, as with his annoyed moan
not caring, I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away from me. –
I have to take my birth control.
Laughing, he climbed off me, then sat down with his legs tucked under him
one hundred and ninety three centimeter thick thighs and bulging muscles.
It would work out
some kind of award to me for knowing how unconsciously Nathan paints
naked and still able to leave her room. Collect the
motivation to push myself off was no small task. Mega
my ovaries were screaming too.

WHEN I walk into my room AFTER MY WORK ON SATURDAY, Lola

is just a pumpkin
rummaging through my closet naked."Hey, sexy," he chirps. "How was the
job?"
I drop my bag on the floor and sit on the end of my bed.
- OK thanks. Not that I don't enjoy staring at the peach flake
what the hell are you doing in my room?
"I'll rob your closet." I need something to wear for the evening.
The Honey Cup holds a big Halloween party and, thankfully, it's a favorite
our neighbor, all of us, have a ticket.
Since they want to keep their costumes a secret, the guys asked me to
us to meet at the club, which suits me perfectly,
as mine will also surprise you. I look at the time on my phone and see
JJ wrote that he was on his way.
– JJ is about to hand in my costume.
"Perhaps it would be best if you waited for him at the door," Lola says as
she does
she takes an emerald green dress from the hanger and holds it in front of
her. "If Aaron."
you find a hockey player in the apartment, he might burn the whole
building to the ground.
Lola is not wrong.
"He's not here." I don't even know where it is. He doesn't answer my calls.
Aaron's situation is worse than ever. So many years of friendship
I got used to his mood swings. Finally, always
shakes himself, apologizes, and then does nothing else for a few weeks,
he's just trying to reconcile us with Lola.
It's been a week since he found out I slept with Nathan and counting
he's always angry but I can't figure out why. Nate put me out yesterday
morning
at the track, but Aaron was late and wouldn't even speak to me. THE
to our afternoon practice, when he realized I wasn't going to leave with
Nathan,
as if he started to let go a little in my direction.
Every time someone brings up that it's all because of Aaron
he's in love with me, I'd like to scream, but I promise no one
nor can I convince you that you are wrong. Under "someone", Nate is
complete anyway
I mean his hockey team, along with Nate.
My theory is that Aaron never learned how
share, and the situation might even get worse now.

FINDING A PERSON'S FRIENDS in a late-night nightclub is impossible

it should be.Well, it would also be if you didn't see one from the balcony
piles of yellow-clad bodies around the private tables.
JJ is the first to spot us and Lola as we weave our way through the crowd.
Judging by the wild glint in his eyes, he's very much ready for what he is
now
follows. He hits the guy next to him, who hits the guy next to him,
until finally a dozen guys dressed in minion overalls are staring
U.S.
The last minion has her hood down, so I can see
It's Bobby. He pats Nate on the shoulder, confused by his relationship with
Robbie
his conversation.
Nate wore dark pants, a zip-up jacket, and a
wearing a striped scarf. Never taking your eyes off me, Robbie
towards his chest, who wears a white lab coat, a yellow T-shirt, and a thick
frame
wears glasses. My shrewd, vodka-fueled detective skills
whispers that the guys dressed up as the cast of Gru.
Nathan's eyes are completely on me as we do the last couple
meters to the pit, then we stop directly in front of its entrance. Nate
he looks all over me, starting from my feet, up the black,
on my thigh-high boots. From the way he swallows, what makes him
his Adam's lip twitches, and the tip of his tongue sticks out
wet your lips, I know it has reached the exposed skin.
His eyes continue from my thigh, past the hem of the Titans jersey, the
on the belt around my waist, and on my breast, until it finally meets the
our gaze. He lets out a long breath and runs his palm over his face.
It's fucking terrifying to have all these guys staring, but it's over now
too late to fight back. JJ is still grinning wider than any of them
his other teammate, and then he starts to squeal over the top of the music.
"Spin around, Stassie!"
Pulling my hair over my shoulder, I slowly turn around, then when
I stand with my back to the team, I freeze for two seconds. This
just enough time for laughter and cheers to erupt when
and I finish the turn, Nathan's face is frozen.
He grips his glass with such force that his knuckles turn white.
He hasn't said anything yet, so I haven't gotten confirmation yet, but I do
have one
I have a sneaking suspicion that it's because he didn't expect that JJ-
I dress up for Halloween."You were right, it really is fun." He looks so
angry, says Lola
cheerfully as he enters the pit.
Just when I was about to follow him, suddenly one hundred and ninety-
three
I hit a centimeter wall of muscle.
- Come with me!
I'm not quite sure I can call it walking
I do because my feet don't always touch the ground.
Nate pulls me through the crowd - very kindly - but he doesn't
tell me where we're going. He hasn't really said anything so far. In vain
angry, he continues to squeeze my wrist gently, his body human
he uses it as a shield as he fights his way through drunken Jokers and
Playboys
on the mass of bunnies, making it much easier for me to follow.
At least my costume is original.
Nate mutters a quick “Thanks!” to a terrifying looking security
to a guard, then leads me through a dark corridor, then a black door
stopping in front of it, he nods in its direction.
"Up there!"
Maybe he will kill me here, after which he will know about me until the
end of time
will be chomping at the bit on true crime podcasts.
"Take it."
- Your decision.
Before I even had a chance to think about my last words,
I find myself hanging upside down from Nate's shoulder. He walks in
at the door, then eat some more, and finally put it back on the floor.
While he closes the door, I take a quick look around and immediately see
how
we are in a very fancy washroom.
"Don't you like to pee alone?" It would have been enough if you asked me
nicely -
candy
"Take it off, Anastasia."
Right now I'm having a hard time not grinning like a
wild apple. I love pulling his brains out - I can see why guys do it
because it's damn easy and damn fun.
"What should I take off?"
Nathan started towards me and I followed each step forward
I step back until my back is against the wall. On his angry face
focusing i get more and more excited and for some masochistic reasonas a
result, no part of my body is as excited as the
in his leg, which is throbbing frantically.
A hand is placed on either side of my head as Nathan leans down,
so that his eyes are in line with mine.
"Take Jaiden's shirt off or I'll rip it off you."
"You look angry, Nathan," I coo as I run my finger up and down
I pull along her scarf. His face is inches away from mine
I rub my nose against his. I really enjoy the way he breathes
slows down when I continue in a whisper: "I think you should find the."
way to turn all this anger into something pleasant.
"I'm so fucking mad at you," he says in a low, raspy voice.
then he puts his mouth on mine. He picks me up and pushes me roughly
against the wall, and ha
I wouldn't have been wet before, but now I am.
I don't even know what to focus on as his hands roam my body,
and his hips tighten against mine. He thinks this is as sexy as
I think so. He stands like a cue ball, his tail straining against the slit of his
pants, and when
I rock my hips, a rumbling moan erupts from deep in his throat.
It was like I would have the power in this situation. But not like that
yes, not a bit. I desperately want it, and when the tooth a
it reaches my wildly calimating percussion, I start to moan.
"Last chance, baby." Which one of us takes it off?
"But JJ's favorite hockey is..."
Before I can even finish the sentence, Nate is already unbuckling my belt
buckle before it falls to the ground. In one quick motion, he pulls the shirt
over the
over my head and throws it across the room.
Like every square centimeter of my body is on fire - suffocating,
it's a crazy feeling. I'm not even drunk, Nate, his touch, his smell
it makes you drunk. The whole thing is unbelievable - the guy is dressed as
Gru, damn it
into it, but I swear, one more touch and I'll explode.
He glanced down at my body and snorted. Now that it's taken away from
me
my primary costume, you can already see the tiny Titans cheerleader outfit,
what I wore underneath. He takes the chin between his thumb and
forefinger and
tilts my head back.
"How insistent are you that you can walk straight?"
I squeeze his hips with my leg - my blood is almost boiling
from waiting.
"I've never been a big fan of it.""Great."
This is followed by moans and the rustling of clothes, the clinking of a belt
buckle and a piece of plastic
followed by the sound of wrapping being ripped open, then as Nate pulled
the rubber up,
he starts wagging with the tip of his tail.
I know what he's doing—he wants me to beg, but
he sucked it up, because I'm not begging for anything.
"Let me take the shirt back so you can see JJ's name while ke…"
I can't even finish the sentence, because then with one hard punch
he pushes his whole fucking cock into me, and I'm gasping for breath
the last drop of oxygen is running out of my lungs.
Nate's fingers dig into my bum as he grabs me
he can fuck harder, and I can't do anything but like that
I cling to it like my life depends on it.
Every single jab is just as mouth-watering and earth-shattering as it is
previous. The air around us is filled with the sound of skin slapping against
each other,
And Nathan's teeth gnaw at my lips, just like they did before
he presses harder against the wall.
My orgasm comes out of nowhere and hits me with a force like
a freight train, but Nate doesn't stop—he doesn't even slow down.
He lets me growl into his chest and claw at his shoulder when
and finally the pulsation stops, he hooks his arm on one of my legs and a
he directs it to his shoulder and then repeats this on the other side.
And with that, he bent me in half while holding my entire body weight
with both hands
holds. Where did this guy come from? At the moment, it's the only one
I can think that thank heaven that I am so flexible, and
because he is so strong.
"What a tight little pussy, Anastasia." And only mine - he gasps
number. "You think you can play with me, mhm?" You think I didn't buy it
notice what you are doing You enjoyed it around my cock. Even if it's
another one
you also want to put a guy's name on your back... you're fucking yelling
mine.
My grip is getting tighter with each word. The angle, the frustration,
the way he's handling the situation… completely destroys me. I'm wildly
excited and moving
I rock, thrusting my hips against him. Every cell in my body
tensing up and ready for this guy to tear me apart.
I try to keep myself from giving him that satisfaction and
believe that his little speech had any effect on me, but then his face
adigging into my neck, moaning and saying my name, and it's so fucked up
it's erotic that my body betrays me.
I swear I can see stars. My body tightens and melts and fucks
flames shoot out of it because it feels so filthy good. I dont even know,
what I feel.
Nate's thrusts begin to fall out of rhythm, his moans louder,
and when his mouth tightens against mine, he slows down, then shakes
and
she starts cursing as she starts throbbing inside me and enjoying the rubber.
He rests his forehead against mine and then lets go of my thigh and slowly
he lets me back to the floor, where I just stand there, weak and like jelly
on my feet. We're both gasping for breath. Nathan's lips a
he touches my forehead and takes a deep breath.
"I like the cheerleader outfit."
"Mmm." "That's not even a proper answer." Just something
incomprehensible
a sound that sounds a bit like agreement. He wasn't kidding when
he asked if I wanted to walk straight, but there was no question of whether
I won't even be able to speak.
Nathan wraps his arms around my waist tightly when I look up
at him, I see his lips curl into an annoying, self-righteous half-smile. When
we get back to the pit, Nate throws JJ's shirt right in his face
finding the guy.
"I hope you like penalty skates, you little bastard."
I have sex-smell and sex-hair, but I can't worry about it.
I tried to tidy myself up and comb the hair with my fingers
in the bathroom, but I gave up after a few minutes.
As we reach for our drinks, the guys become a couple of know-it-alls
glance.
All of them except one.
"You should have dressed as a minion too," Henry says as he does
he looks over her face with complete indifference, from head to toe. "Then
much now."
you would feel more comfortable and you wouldn't have to worry about
we'll see your ass.
You're right, and next year I'll be coming to the club in my minion overalls.
Nathan pulls me into his lap, hands me a glass of drink, and kisses me
press on my shoulder.
"No one can see your ass, Allen," he whispers in my ear, and I shake it off
cold. "I have a strong suspicion that you have the...my handprint.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lo walk into the pit, and when
I turn towards him, I notice that the person holding his arm is walking
behind him
Aaron. As soon as she sees me, Lola's eyes widen and she shoots one at me
a look from which, after more than two years of friendship, I know right
away
the crash hits.
I glance at Aaron and flash him a welcoming smile, but he doesn't
does not reciprocate.
"Hey!" I'm so glad you came. Are you okay? – My eyes are on his arm again
flashes towards what he's clutching and I literally get sick,
when they realize it's not part of his costume. "Aaron, what happened a."
with your arm?
Narrowing her eyes, she looks at me with such hatred that I don't get it
air.
"Just ask your boyfriend, Anastasia."Twentieth fee

NO THAN

I've had a horrible migraine for OVER TWENTY FOUR HOURS.

It all started when Aaron Carlisle stood up to me in the
with a twisted arm and a crushed hip and blamed me for the
for a thing. Then I felt the little arrow in the back of my skull that
followed almost immediately by a heat that spread throughout my head
until no more
it wasn't so painful that I could even feel it behind my eyes.
The whole thing turned into chaos. Lola yelled at Robbie, JJ
he called Aaron a fucking liar, and I was desperately clutching him
Anastasia, and I tried to make her believe that I never, with a single finger,
understood
to Aaron.
He hurried to Aaron without caring about anyone, carefully examined his
arm,
then in the saddest, most hopeless voice possible, he said the
name.
"We won't be able to start in the district like this."
I couldn't see his face, but I still knew. We all knew. The agony, the
realization, the pain. He was shocked when he collapsed onto Aaron's
chest
and started sobbing, I had no idea how they could get so bad
suddenly things.
I didn't know what to say. Although I was kidding her about Anastasia
who shared it, I never got to the guy. I would never jeopardize your
dreams.
Aaron stroked Stassie's head comfortingly. I wanted to drag him away
from a guy to convince me by swearing that I'm not the one
but then Aaron ushered her out of the pit, Lola close behind them,
I let them go.
The team was just as confused as I was and everyone else
he swore he had nothing to do with it. No joke, nothing
mess, they all stayed away from Aaron, just like I said
them. Nothing made sense.I called Anastasia the minute I got home from
the club, but
he didn't pick it up. Not for the first time, nor for the second time. The
third time, Lola answered and said,
Stassie went to sleep. I tried to explain to him that I didn't
nothing, but Lo replied that I didn't have to convince him of that.
On Sunday, Stassie sent a message saying she needed something
to be alone because you don't know what to think. Stuck between me and
the
between his partner, who both swear to him to tell the truth,
and you have to process the fact that you have to cancel the race.
I told him how much I missed him, but he didn't respond.
My whole Sunday was spent going from house to house and
I interviewed all the guys one by one who weren't there the night before
in the club, and they all swore to heaven and earth that they weren't the
bad guys.
Call me naive, but I believe them.
I was sitting on a disgustingly sticky couch in one of the student union
houses,
opposite me are three juniors. Their eyes were red and they looked like
out, as if the three of them slept together for a total of five minutes. Same
for me
I should have looked, unless my Saturday night had been pierced by the
in the worst possible way.
"We didn't do anything, kapi." Johal told us not to smoke the
figure skaters - even if they're assholes. He said we can't hang him
get your girl out or you and Robbie will put us on the bench.
Your girlfriend. At the moment, she couldn't be any less than that.
Last night it seemed like we got close enough to being my girlfriend
so be it, but for now I can't even say I'm back
to the starting field. I'm not even on the fucking board.
Now that the weekend is over, I've been trying to get him to do it for an
hour
myself to wander in for class, but still ruling in my room
not even darkness quiets the pain throbbing in my head. My phone vibrates
starts, but the team writes instead of Stassie.

HOCKEY BUNNIES

ROBBIE HAMLET
Email from Faulkner: awards hall at 7:30.

BOBBY HUGHESOuch. Nice to meet you guys. All the best.

MATTIE LIU
Damn it, I should have been a basketball player.

HENRY TURNER
You don't have hand-eye coordination
what you need for the basket, Liu.

NATE HAWKINS
I feel like my brain
would simultaneously try to transition into jelly and
would try to set himself on fire.

JAYDEN JOHAL
Need a painkiller, mate?

NATE HAWKINS
Better hit me in the head with a shovel.
CHRIS HUDSON
I'm sure you won't have to ask Faulkner twice.

It was expected, so I can't even pretend

I would be surprised. Aaron told his coach that there was something on the
floor
in front of his dressing room and slipped. The hockey team again
just kidding, he told Brady.
He told Anastasia that someone told him, he saw that I did it
there the one it slipped on, but Aaron claims he doesn't know what it's
called
witness and that he didn't tell Brady that I was the culprit either. No,
he kept this information from Anastasia as he allegedly does not want
to get me in trouble because he's worried about Stassie.
I only know about all this thanks to Robbie, who was forced to
he was completely out of his mind to comfort Lola. Poor girl stuck between
two chairs becausehe can neither stand up for anyone nor do anything to
improve the
situation. His friends are all suffering.
You know I would never do anything to harm you
To Anastasia.
It's all bullshit.
Seven thirty is fast approaching, and somehow I manage to drag it out
Faulkner summoned me to his meeting on the fly. The room is full
there is silence as Faulkner sits down and just stares at us, and for the first
time
I can't tell what kind of mood he's in.
I don't know what you're waiting for. A confession? For a look, that's about
it
does it reveal that it was me?
"Did everyone have a good weekend?" Faulkner asks slowly, pulling away
words.
I have attended enough of these meetings over the past few years to
to let me know what kind of weekend we had and that this question is not
requires an answer.
Henry glances at me, waiting for guidance, and I give him a gentle shake
my head.
"Mine was great," continues Faulkner. "Saturday is my daughter."
I spent it at a volleyball game, and then I was overcome with pride. They
won and
I couldn't have been in a better mood. We even discussed that it was
Sunday
the whole family goes somewhere to celebrate.
There is one thing that I learned very well in this team
spent, in my more than three years: don't confuse Faulkner with his family
spent time.
In his professional days, he traveled a lot - this job is just that - but
he found it difficult to be away from his wife and then newborn daughter,
From Imogen. The accident forced him to slow down, and now he hasn't
nothing is more important to him than the time he can spend with his girls.
"Then the dean called me on Sunday." – He raises his coffee thermos to his
lips,
and he watches over its edge as the team half-heartedly squirms. - Oh yes,
don't worry about it. Principal Skinner didn't call, oh
no, even for him it came from above. The dean wanted to know if it was
me
what the hell is my team full of highly qualified, first-class athletes
intentionally injured another student.
"Coach, we…""Shut up, Johal," Faulkner snaps and slams the thermos
down
on the table. – The dean was called by the mother of the student in
question and threatened
began to withdraw the significant donation that the new art
promised as a building. He's rightfully angry, not just because his kid is in
college
area, but also because the guy has a competition in two weeks
will be
You don't have to tell us. We all know the district
championship. Anastasia keeps yelling about it when she tries to distract
me
us off the ice.
Kris also told him that from now on he would always pull a half whenever
only Stassie says the word she circles, which the guys around her do
they had a good laugh too. I was about to interject at this point, but
Stassie then gave Kris a look so icy that even I did
it sent chills down my spine, even though he didn't even look at me.
Stas slowly moved his gaze from head to toe on the guy who
I saw him start to fidget tensely, but then she flashed him
a bright look and patted his arm.
"I'd be happy to throw one in every time you take one."
shot, but I don't have time this week for a good bit of alcohol poisoning.
That's why the guys adore him so much, even if he spends most of his time
with it
he spends calling us a hump on his back and telling us to learn
read the clock. He can stand up for himself and is funny when he's grumpy
there is
"Am I boring you, Hawkins?" - I hear from somewhere in the distance, but
only then
I catch Faulkner talking to me when Mattie pokes me in the side
with his elbow.
- No, sir. I have a migraine, but I'm paying attention.
Faulkner squints to see if I'm lying,
but I'm white, and I have huge circles under my eyes.
You can't really say I'm not sick.
When I was still living at home, I often had migraines with my father
from stress caused by time spent. They were unbearable, that's why I know
how
I take the painkillers normally, just barely, but I can do it
to function. If I let it bite, soon
I will throw up my guts and hide from the light like something
vampire."So you can see, we got into a very messy situation." And now
please tell me, who did it?
The room is silent because, as I said, everyone is
he stated it wasn't him. The normal course of action now would be to
communicate
With Faulkner, he's wrong, and then we work together to find out the
truth.
But that's just not how Team Titans works anymore.
Faulkner decided we were guilty because we didn't give it to him
reason to believe we would tell him the truth.
He's been suffering the petty, exhausting crap for years now, when
in the end, every single time it turned out that one of the team members
was the bad guy. Now
it won't even occur to him that we can be innocent, because never
we gave him reason to believe that.
"You're all out of the team until someone comes forward and."
does not admit the truth.
Chaos erupts in the silent room as each guy tries
talk him out of it. The noise is getting worse and worse, and my head is
getting worse
throbbing until Faulkner finally screams himself out, and everyone cheers
shuts it up.
"I hate that you have to give up your matches." If they haven't started
behave like a man, I will make this team finish last a
in the championship!
I've said it before, he's a scary guy. His anger boils over
on the surface, that it would be impossible not to notice, but that if the
person a
reddened face and looks behind the yelling, to see the disappointment.
Robbie already
she's been massaging the bridge of her nose and staring at her lap for five
minutes or so
frustrated at not being able to manage a team that doesn't exist.
"Hockey is a privilege!" University is a privilege! roars Faulkner. "As soon
as."
I get my answer, you can play again.
Avoiding the gaze of my teammates, I clear my throat.
"It was me, coach."

I KNOW THE MOMENT THAT THE PAIN-RELIZING EFFECT IS

WEARING
that you feel sick as if you were hit by a bus.
The coach is talking to the dean on the phone, humming and nodding, but
no
it tells a lot. I have already received about twenty messages in which he is
creative
they shower me with a multitude of insults, which, as I am, I
deserve.Faulkner doesn't believe me. I can tell by the way he looks while
the
he mumbles into the phone, but his hands are tied, and I gave him that a
the escape route he so desperately needed.
He could lose his team for who knows how long because no one will admit
it,
that he was Or the other option is that you can lose me temporarily,
only to get it back before the season is over
would start. It was a risky move on my part, I admit, why not
I know what punishment awaits me, but the longer we drag this case on,
the
the more my team suffers and the more I want to knock Aaron out of the
shit too.
At least if I knock Aaron out, I'll have something to be sorry about.
Faulkner hangs up.
"You can't play until the guy can step on the ice again." This
said the dean. You can come to the games in your gear, but you just sit in
the
on the bench and watch the game. You cannot train with the team and
outside of the trip
you cannot participate in any team-level programs.
"Do we know how long Aaron will be out?"
- No. He's seeing a specialist tonight, so soon
we will find out. But based on the bruises on his wrist and hip, it's a
minimum
two weeks. Nothing is broken, so some rest and musculoskeletal
therapy, and the dog probably won't get hurt, but his parents insist
to get a second opinion to be on the safe side. - Hand
runs across her face, and as I take a closer look, I see
that he looks just as sick and exhausted as I do. - Naturally
he lifts his girlfriend while skating, so they don't want to put her in danger
to push the girl, if she might not be strong enough for it after two weeks
can handle it.
"She's not his girlfriend." "The words are out of my mouth before I can."
I could swallow them back before Faulkner points them straight at me
his gaze. Fuck it.
"If I find out it's all about a girl, Hawkins, God a."
witness, I strangled you with my own hand. I'm not a complete idiot. I
know,
that something is not right, but what should I do if you say so
me, how were you?
Faulkner pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers while I pinch it
I wish I could somehow explain all of this to him."I don't have the strength
to scream your head off right now."
I was too disappointed. My advice is to report it to your guardian
about all this crap because I don't want to read angry emails,
why don't you play Now get out of my office - later this week
i call you
The walk to my car feels like a marathon, but in the end it's just that
I get there and straight away for the pain reliever in the glove compartment
and
I reach for mineral water.
My phone keeps vibrating and I finally pick it up
myself to open the chat because the guys deserve to
get answers.

HOCKEY BUNNIES

JOE CARTER
Hawkins, you fucking idiot. What the hell is going on here anyway?
BOBBY HUGHES
I haven't been so stressed since then
I understand that rubber does not protect 100%.

JAYDEN JOHAL
Let's stop for a word! What?

CHRIS HUDSON
How do we play without our captain anyway?

JAYDEN JOHAL
No, let's not get over this rubber thing yet?????????

NATE HAWKINS
Until Aaron can skate, that is
I can't train either, I can play.

MATTIE LIUHow long is that?

NATE HAWKINS
I go over to Stassie and
I try to talk to him.
See you later.

My head is still throbbing and I've never been so grateful

for self-driving cars like now.
JJ texted me Stassie's apartment number since I've never been called
through
there, so I didn't even know. JJ, on the other hand, was there on Saturday
to hand in his jersey,
so playing that Stas didn't drop her from the visitor list, it's her
I give my name to the porter. The thing works, luckily the guy does
it doesn't ask for my ID. He gives me a temporary code with which
I can use the elevator and it says it's open 24 hours.
I like that Stassie lives in such a well protected, safe building.
When he's not angry with me and I'm not cheating,
to get in, and then I mention to him that I managed to lie to myself
to it.
But now is not the best moment for that.
Maple Tower is said to be the best lodging in all of Maple Hills
on campus, and I can see why - the whole gorgeous block is full of luxury.
One
part of me wonders how Stassie can afford this because
i doubt your saturday teaching job pays well enough for that, and i know it
does
your scholarship does not cover accommodation costs. But then I get to his
door, a
to apartment 6013, and directly under the numbers, with chicory, italics
there
the caption reads. Carlisle Residence.
I take a deep breath and knock a couple of times, definitely, but no
in a hurry. I don't want you to think I'm here to fight, because I'm not
there is
I can't tell if my stomach is jumping because of nervousness
into a spasm, or because my body and brain are starting to give up. But the
nausea only increases when the door opens, and it's a thread
Aaron, wearing basketball shorts, appears behind him.
"I came to Anastasia." Would you challenge me? I ask calmly.
I would prefer to scream his head off, call him a liar, and cut him offI put
my fist in that bastard's face, but I won't.
He smiles at me. I swear I'm not imagining it - Aaron smiles,
then he steps to the side and opens the door wider, then his bandaged arm
holding it to the side, beckons me to come inside.
"He's in his room," he chirps as he closes the door behind me.
"I don't know which one," I say, raising my eyebrows. "Yet."
I haven't been here before.
Aaron shrugs, his mock smile fading from his face.
"Middle door." Next to the flower table.
- Thanks! - I answer muttering as I start towards the door. Aaron is over
he's kind, too calm, and it makes my every nerve strain. I'm waiting
to find out what makes him so happy.
I gently knock on the door, but I get no answer. So
I try again and this time I hear sobs.
"Get out of here, Aaron!"
Accepting the risk, I open the door and am immediately confronted
the reason why Aaron had so gleefully let me in. Ryan is the bed
he lies leaning on his back, one arm wrapped around Anastasia, while a
he strokes her hair with the other while she sits between his legs and
against his chest
hiding and sobbing. This is what Aaron wanted me to see so badly, but the
only reason
that the sight makes my heart ache, that Anastasia is so lost
it seems
They both look up at me at the same time - the expression on their faces is
stark
different, but Stassie's is unmistakable.
Betrayal.
- Go away! he says in a halting voice. She turns in Ryan's arms
and wipes away her tears with the palm of her hand. "You lied to me
again!"
You swore you did nothing and lied, Nathan.
"Stassi, please." can we talk I swear I didn't do anything.
"Stop swearing!" he roars as his whole body shakes
into sobs. Ryan buries his face in her hair and mutters something he doesn't
I hear, but Stassie is staring straight at me. "The dean."
told Aaron's parents, Nate! I know you got kicked out of the team! I know,
that was you!
I can not breathe. My head is pounding and all I want to do is say it
everything that happened today, but I can't focus on anything else but this
to a white-hot pain in my head and a burning sensation behind my
eyes.Ryan picks Stas up and places him on the bed next to him.
"Are you alright Hawkins?" he asks as he slides off the bed. You don't paint
too good mate. Don't you want to sit down? Would you like some water?
The world starts spinning around me as I feel Ryan on my shoulder
his hand, who starts guiding me backwards, until my legs are one
it doesn't hit a chair when I sit down.
- What's his problem? Stas asks in a horrified voice.
I raise my palms to my eyes, then my head between my legs
I drive and take a few deep breaths. I can't take any more
painkiller, so there is no need to ask.
Thanks to the fact that I ended up in the coach's office, the gap was too big
the passing of the effect of the previous dose and the time when the next
one starts to work, and
not only will I pay the price for this now, but I will even burn it
myself.
That's great.
Stas's soft hand touches my forehead and I don't stop myself from leaning
over
into his touch. He will never let you near him again. Only that
I wish the moment wouldn't be ruined by the hot pain that torments my
brain
pain and I wouldn't feel like I was being crushed bit by bit by it
my whole body.
"Migraine." I'll drive you home. Then I'll come back when we can
to speak - I manage to moan out in a whisper.
"He can't drive," is the last thing I hear.Chapter twenty one

ANAST ASIA

ALTHOUGH I HAVE ALREADY ADJUSTED THE iPad IN FRONT

OF ME FIVE OR TEN TIMES, I can't stand it
and not to push it a little more to the right.
Everything I need is prepared in front of me, it's important
in order: my appointment diary, water and tissue - the biggest box I have
you can only get it.
I've done this hundreds of times, so I have no idea why
I'm so nervous, but the unsettling feeling is lurking beneath the surface.
Lola
and Aaron went to Kenny's to get chicken wings and
leave me some space, and the silence in the apartment is just more
adding to my restlessness.
Then, just in time, the iPad starts to ring, and the screen starts to ring
Dr. Andrews' name flashes.
I answer the call and my heart sinks as the screen loads
the familiar Seattle skyline and the understatedness of Dr. Andrews' office
decoration.
Dr. Andrews himself is sitting at his desk, his journal crossed over
he balances it, a pen rests in his hand.
"Good morning, Anastasia." How are you feeling today?
I'm homesick, it's already on the tip of my tongue. For the first time since
i just came to college, i wish i could go back
to Washington State.
I have seen Seattle countless times in movies and series and never
had no effect on me. But from that window
I can see what I've been staring at for nearly ten years
I would hop on the first plane out of LAX.
Wiping my sweaty palms on my pants, I smile into the camera.
- I'm fine thank you.
"Are you sure you want this to be the answer I write?"Dr. Andrews is now
in his early forties, but when his patient
I became, just after he got his doctorate. Nothing
he's aged - his face is the same as it was, with the same small wrinkles a
around his eyes, and his hair is always light brown interwoven with such
gray strands
volt.
Medical school silver, he called it when he was about nine years old,
I probably asked what it was in a very rude way. One
in some ways I think the fact that it has stood the test of time,
it calms me down a bit. This seems like something you will probably do
once
I'll have to talk to him.
He doesn't say a word while I think about what to say now. Not like
I would think it would be a good idea to keep it a secret from one's
psychologist.
I just don't know how to put it into words right now
my feelings, and that's exactly why I came back to
for therapy.
"The view from your window makes me sad."
"Can you tell me exactly what bothers you about the view?"
The rasping sound of the pen gliding on the paper is heard, which is very
appropriate
I've gotten used to it over the past years.
"I haven't been home in almost a year." I miss Seattle.
Dr. Andrews pulls himself out of his seat and turns slightly to the side,
knowingly
or not, but slightly obscuring the view from me. I punched him
he squeezed my hand - anyway, I only noticed that it was my hand
it is clenched in a fist at all, when my palm began to hurt from digging into
it
from my nails.
"Do your parents visit you in Los Angeles?"
"Never." They used to ask me, but I'm always very busy, they
they don't like to fly, so I don't like to make them travel. Me
and I have too much to do to visit them.
"We talked a lot about your parents, Anastasia." You said mostly
you want to be successful because of them, not because of yourself, and
that's frustrating. "He pushes it up."
his glasses on the bridge of his nose and looks into the camera. "It's the
pressure, or it's the."
do all the oppressive feelings you describe ease when you can't see them?
"It never goes away completely." Whenever they call, it's always his skates
the first thing they ask about. "There's a lump in my throat."
I find it hard to swallow. "And when I don't hear from them, then, uh,
I'm relieved.Dr. Andrews nods and jots something down on the page in
front of him.
"And that relief makes you feel guilty?"
Oh, heavens. Why are my eyes wet?
"Yes."
"What interests you besides figure skating, Anastasia?"
I try to answer right away, but when I open my mouth, I realize
that I can't say anything - figure skating is my whole life.
"I don't care about anything else."
"And if you lose a race or decide not to anymore."
you skate, do you think your parents would be mad at you? On this
think for a while, don't answer right away.
I don't have to think. The answer struck me at that moment
in my mind that he asked the question.
"No, I think they'd be confused at first, but they'd want
to be happy.
– Based on the past meetings with your parents, and the meetings between
the two of us
I know how much you value them. I'm right when I say so be it
whether it's about therapy, learning, or sports, you find it very supportive
them?
- Fully. My parents are great.
"Parents, well, good parents like yours, who have such a
you have an oriented child with expressed interests, sometimes not
they know very well what to talk about with their child in these interests
outside of circles. – He laces his fingers and rests his hand on his stomach
while
leans back in his chair. - During our joint meetings, your parents
mentioned
they know that your skates are the most important thing to you. Maybe
you see, by being asked about his skates every time
they were just talking, expressing that even though they rarely see you,
they still do
are supported.
My chest tightens - the guilt comes. The guilt because I know
that my parents support me. The guilt, because it's been a while
we met The guilt of not appreciating them enough.
I keep my eyes fixed on the iPad screen and go straight to Dr.
I stare at Andrews' tie pin. If I look at his face, I'm going to roar
myself.
"I know they only want the best for me."– It is completely normal to
understand something logically, but still emotionally
to react differently to it. To love someone and yet feel relief,
why you don't talk to him creates a huge conflict in a person's mind,
but that in no way makes him bad, it simply indicates that he is human
obsession. - This is rough. “Back to the view, Anastasia. What do you
think,
the view may not make you sad because you miss Seattle,
but because you want to see your parents?
I nod while still keeping my eyes on the
about a tie pin when my eyes fill with tears.
- Maybe.
"Just like children, adults need it too."
to borders. I want you to tell your parents you don't want the
to talk about skating. If only about one conversation, one
it's also a visit, try it, how it feels to know, the thing is not
will be discussed. Can it be solved?
Blinking away the tears that were about to come out of my eyes again
I look up at him and force a smile on my face.
"Of course."
When I moved to L.A. two years ago, I stopped regular therapy.
I was so hooked on the whole university experience that I didn't need it.
But sometimes something happens that causes us to have a casual one
session, before I always promise myself that I will start again
to go regularly, which then never happens.
Therapy never gets easier. One simply learns it
accept that these difficult conversations are worth it when your emotions
they will be easier to handle. We're only halfway through the session and
already
I can breathe, but I know from experience that this can change until the
end.
– At our meeting last week, you explained that your competition is
surrounded
How much stress does uncertainty cause you? can you tell
how are you feeling this week
"Good," I answer honestly. It feels good that he can finally do it for once
I have something positive to say. "The doctor confirmed yesterday that it's
Aaron."
it's ok, so we can race tomorrow.
- I'm glad to hear that. That must have lifted a lot of weight off your
shoulders. –
Aaron and I hung out from classes to practice and thankfully everything
it went smoothly. "And how is your relationship with Aaron?" Last week
you mentioned
that you feel as if you are suffocating.Strangulation is almost too mild a
term. Aaron has barely moved for two weeks
beside me, and that's a bit much. I appreciate that in many ways
even though he was injured, he gave me time to grieve. Because it is
the last two weeks have felt like this: mourning. I mourned all that is
it could have been mine.
However, it is driven even by pure good intentions, sometimes by Aaron's
attentiveness
it feels like it wants to control you. My tears were understandable, but
only if I dropped them because of the skate. The worry I feel
it will get better, but only if you are there to help me.
"Aaron took me back a bit," I explain. "I told him I needed one."
a little alone time to process what happened, especially now that it came
up
I have some suspicions about how things happened. First
he was grumpy about it, but now that he's back on the ice, it seems he is
also forgot about it all.
"How do you feel, does he often get angry with you?"
"Uh, the fact that Aaron could use a little therapy is putting it mildly."
expression. "I swallow back a nervous little laugh, because where do I
start?" –
Aaron's parents are constantly manipulating each other. It's all pretty
unhealthy.
Aaron grew up always seeing that this is how you get it,
what he wants. He wants to be better than his parents, and that's why he
tries. The cases
mostly a great friend.
"But does he often get mad at you?"
"I'm clearly the one who suffers the most from his mood swings, though."
I spend more time with him than anyone else. Sometimes it's like
everything
it would be perfect, then suddenly it's not anymore, I have no idea
no, what did I mess up?
"That sounds difficult."
- It is also. He judges me differently than others, I mean, he doesn't
i know how to explain it. If Lola does something, that's fine, but
if I do the exact same thing, he may not like it.
"Do you feel like there are different rules for you?"
- Yes exactly. When he's in a good mood, it doesn't matter, but if
when things go wrong, it's hard to be around him. But not Lola either
I'd leave him alone if he had problems, so Aaron wouldn't either
I want.
"That is truly admirable, Anastasia." "Dr. Andrews jots something down."
sometimes I wish I could read your notes. "I would like you."to remind him
that although everyone has room for improvement, it is important that a
put your own well-being first. Friendships are important, but so is
live in a healthy environment.
- I bought.
"If it's okay, I want to talk about Nathan now." I would like to know him
how it affects your life.
I knew this was coming, but I wasn't prepared for it. Man
your psychologist will not forget if the person ends a session early because
unable to stop gushing over a boyfriend she's only had for two months
know.
Last week I summarized for Dr. Andrews the events that led to the
They led to my strange friendship with Nathan. Then I blew myself up
when I started talking about the daddy-mommy thing.
"I haven't heard from him in two weeks." I banged his head down really
hard,
and I think, well, whatever it was between us, I think it's over.
Dr. Andrews flips through the crisp pages of his notebook and then
flicks a page.
"You were angry because Nathan admitted he was responsible for Aaron's
accident,
after he swore to you that he had nothing to do with it.
"Yes."
"And he's sworn things to you before, which it turned out later,
it was a lie. To protect one of your teammates, right?
"That's right."
"But now you think maybe he's telling the truth, and that's why he's
bothering you."
talk about it?
Two weeks ago, when Ryan refused to let Nathan
drive him home, Bobby and Joe jumped for him. Nate by then, after several
times
he vomited violently, lost consciousness, and I wished I could too
I could pass out. Bobby took one look at my tear-stained face, then
she tried to convince him that Nate wasn't the jerk, even though
that he admitted this. Joe then came to Nate's defense and explained,
that coach Faulkner threatened the team that all their games
waive unless someone confesses.
They both swore to heaven and earth that Nathan would never do
anything like that
he would do things that would harm me, which was difficult for me to
listen to, and more
it's harder for me to digest.Dr. Andrews presses a finger to his lips and waits
patiently for the
my explanation. I want nothing more than to break the line, but
I pull myself together.
"Nate is the kind of person who fixes things." Takes care of
about his friends. I know how proud he is to be given the captaincy.
It seems logical to me that he plays the role of scapegoat, that his team
don't suffer.
"This sounds like a difficult time for all of you." what exactly is
what makes you angry That they lied to you again?
I've been asking myself this for a while now. I sigh –
louder than I wanted - and then I try to put it into words
my feelings.
- More or less. Mostly I just feel so naive.
There is no way that both Nathan and Aaron are telling the truth. Aaron
nothing
won the case - no reason to lie.
"And for Nathan?"
“Nathan…” “Oh, heavens. Why am I on the verge of roaring again?
"When."
I'm with Nathan, I feel like they care about me. They want me. No
I believe it would jeopardize my race, but I don't trust it
in my judgement, because I was already starting to have feelings for him.
"Did you tell him that too?"
Shaking my head, I finally admit defeat and head for the tissue
I'm reaching out.
"Like I said, I haven't heard from him in quite a while."
I've thought about calling her countless times, but I'm too scared.
- What are you afraid of?
"Because it's too late." That he will listen to what I have to say and
he rejects me in the same way because I didn't believe him.
It hurts to admit this out loud. To desire him when he may not
return this feeling, it hurts. Not trusting that I can fix the
things hurt. His absence also hurts.
In the last two weeks, I managed to avoid everyone by saying that a
I practiced at work. Brady wasn't bursting with joy, but no
I gave him another choice. Mattie waved at me sadly when
he spotted me at one of our shows together, but he didn't come to me. Lola
is strict
he was instructed not to report to me about the affairs of the team.–
Rejection is terrifying, but living your life like you never are
you know what would have happened if you were honest, that too. I think
he should
tell me how you feel A relationship, be it friendship or more
no longer survives so much dishonesty.
"It doesn't seem fair that I have to be honest." "My face."
I snort, wiping with a handkerchief. "I didn't lie." But also
everyone is different. I just grabbed it in the middle like an idiot.
Dr. Andrews smiles, then brings a hand to her mouth to suppress it
his laugh.
– Yes, I also see the irony in the situation, but no one thinks so
you would be an idiot, Anastasia. How do they say it? Be the change you
see
you want or something. Lead by example with your honesty. It's like that
for me
it seems you are surrounded by good people and it is important not to
forget that
people make mistakes.
"I don't have a problem with mistakes." I don't expect anyone to be perfect
be…
"Only from you."
I roll my eyes because he cornered me with this, but not anymore
there is enough time left in the session to take it out. It's been more than
ten years
let's do this and even that wasn't enough time.
"Only from myself, but definitely not from my friends."
The clock starts to beep softly, indicating that our session is coming to an
end.
It's always only during one session that I remember how tiring it is
therapy. You feel like you have a hangover afterwards. After
I always need to get a good night's sleep, but as soon as I wake up, I'll be
better.
– We discussed a lot of things, but just to summarize: what are
that this conversation helped you see?
It really feels like we've taken on a lot, but it is
the truth is that I would probably know about this for many hours
speak.
"I have to draw boundaries with my parents so that I can enjoy spending
time with them."
time instead of just worrying.
"That's right." What else?
"I have to put myself first when Aaron is trashing himself."
I can be a good friend even if I put my own well-being first.
"And?""I need to talk to Nathan." I have to be honest about what
sense.
- And finally?
"People make mistakes."
Dr. Andrews closes his notebook and flashes one at me
half smile.
- First class performance, nice work. Tomorrow is your race, right?
"Yes, at lunchtime."
"I've helped you through countless competitions, and I know defeat."
the possibility is not something you or any other athlete would like to be
involved in
he thinks about it. So how do you feel on the verge of competition
mentally? Are you prepared for the eventuality that you won't make it?
"Yes," I lie. "Because I did my best and."
I'd rather compete and lose than not compete at all.
"That's what I hear from you every single time, Anastasia, and I have to."
let me tell you, you are no more convincing now than you were when you
were nine. –
He places the notebook and pen on his desk and adjusts them with a
chuckle
his tie. "I sincerely hope you get the result you want."
you worked so hard, especially after so much sadness.
"Me too, doc."Chapter twenty-two
NO THAN

IT HAS BEEN THE LONGEST FOURTEEN DAYS OF MY LIFE SO

FAR.
For two weeks I sulked and grieved, unconscious
jealous of my teammates and then lusting after the girl who hates me.
In a nutshell: I was a total loser for two weeks.
I seriously almost passed out with joy when Robbie
called me to get my ass together and take me down to training, because the
Butthead
can skate again.
Not being able to play with the team helped me realize just how much
i love hockey I know this sounds ridiculous because you would think it is
man, I've been aware of this for a long time, haven't I? I thought so too.
But that
being banned from it for a while put things in a new perspective.
My next thought was Anastasia and her dreams again
have become available. Jeez, I fucking want to see it.
My bathroom is full of bottles that smell just as good as
him. I have never liked the smell of honey and strawberries as much as I do
now.
when I haven't seen you in a while.
But he doesn't want to be around her. That's what I saw on his face when
he thought
I lied to him again. I want to call you - or I remember a dozen times
I thought I'd call, but I'm afraid that would only make things worse.
Mattie told me how sad Stas looked when she saw him in one of the
classes,
and I hate that I'm the reason for this. At least he cares about me
a little, even if you don't realize it. When my migraines are like that
I felt as if I was on the verge of death, and repeatedly wild and
I threw up disgustingly, Stassie was right next to me and had my back the
whole time
he squirmed.
When I was sprawled out on his bed, he crawled over to see if there was-
this fever, and I, my life, my death, buried my head in his lap.
I just wanted to hide from the light burning my brain, but Stas did thathe
started stroking my hair, which he never seemed to want to stop.
I tried to stay awake to enjoy this, but it didn't work.
Lola is getting tired of me constantly asking how she is
her best friend. Every time I bring up Stassie, she mentions that
The LAPD has a lot of unsolved cases, of which
I can confess any of them and go to their brains instead.
That's quite a long rant, and you'd think after two weeks
shortens it, but no, Lola is terribly committed to her art
next to. However, as much as he enjoys playing tricks on me, I know
it is stuck between the two sides and is completely finished. Robbie said
that Anastasia forbade Lola to even mention us,
which only makes me feel worse.
I wanted to write to wish him good luck in the district, but then
in the end I gave up because I was afraid that I would just stress myself out.
Never before
I have never longed for anything as much as now for things to be
return to their usual routine.
Pulling away from Maple Hills a bit and beating UT Austin 8-3 is great
it was a way to forget about all this drama for a bit.
I thought I was rusty in the last couple of weeks, but then
everything went perfectly except that JJ and Joe spent so much time in the
on the penalty bench, that they almost had to pay rent. Then
I'll let Robbie sort them out, because I'm too good at it now
I like that.
At least for now - maybe it won't last long since it's two
I sneak through the hotel lobby with a bag full of booze in my hand.
I don't do anything illegal since I'm over twenty one,
but Faulkner won't think so if he catches me passing around the
Jägermeister bottles. They were appointed to this risky task as – a
guys say i owe them because i wasn't here robbie
he took all his pain out on them for me.
I touch my key card to the door, then when the light turns green
it lights up, I press the door handle. Most guys are already here with Robbie
and
It's in the room I share with Henry, where they make my bed
with sweaty feet.
It feels more like going to a funeral home than one
I would enter the room of a team that had just won their match.- Who
died? "They all turn towards me at the same time, their faces are the same,
with a downcast grimace. "I meant it as a joke, but I'm not anymore."
sure of it. Why are you all looking at me like that?
The guys look at each other, then Kris is the first to clear his throat.
"Faulkner's looking for you, man."
"I haven't even opened a bottle." – I laugh and put the
bags on the table. "How can I be in trouble already?"
"It's not about that," Robbie says as he runs a hand over his face.
"Aaron can't skate again, Nathan." You're back on the bench.
"How the hell do you mean he can't skate?" I yell.
I'm getting a fucking migraine again. "Did they participate in their
competition?" - Silence.
"Will someone finally tell me what the hell is going on?"
"Aaron dropped Stassie," Henry says without any emotion.
as he walks over to the bags and takes out a bottle. "His wrist gave it away."
himself during their song and dropped it.

I've been sitting in front of Maple Tower for OVER THIRTY MINUTES
and still no
I managed to get myself to go inside.
I spent fifteen of those thirty on the phone with Lola, as
i tried to get him to give my name to the porter to get a code a
to the elevator. In the next fifteen years, I mentally prepared myself for that
Throw Anastasia out.
When I found him, Faulkner confirmed what the guys had said.
Aaron's injured hand couldn't handle the load while they were on the ice -
a fall
in the process he tried to catch Stassie, but that only made him more
successful
break yourself.
"I'm sorry, Hawkins!" Faulkner said as he took a beer from the
from the mini fridge and handed it to me. "We'll know more on Monday,
but that's it."
by the looks of it, Skinner wants to put you back on the bench.
I don't care what happens to me at the moment. The
I'm interested, as always, in what's going on with the team, but mostly just
Stassie
in my head. I won't be able to knock him out of there until my own two
I can't see with my eyes that he is fine.
My stomach is in a painful spasm the whole time in the elevator.
Fortunately, Lo doesn't
he requested to be removed, so I entered the building.I knock three times
on the door and step back. It's sickening to my stomach
pain intensifies, and my heart seems to beat wrongly.
On the other side of the door, that typical, slightly raw Brooklyn sound is
heard
tone of voice, which I am so used to that it offends me, then
the door opens and Lola leans against the door frame.
"If you bang me, Nathan, I swear, your dick's in a snot bottle."
will do it in my room, and I will make it my holy mission never to
don't be happy anymore
- I bought.
Holding on to my sweatshirt, he stormed into the apartment, then huffed
close the door behind me.
"Stassie is in her room and doesn't know you're here." Be with him
patient. She's a tough girl, but she's really broken right now. - Behind his
back
Aaron peeks out of his room and when he notices me, it tricks him
door. “You lost control of everything, Nate. It's not like that
a girl who tolerates well when she is not in charge.
"I'm cutting." I want to see him because I miss him and because I worry
about him.
Lola gives me a careful nod and then gets out of my way.
"He misses you too."
At this moment I have no right to desire anything—
I'm just grateful that I've made it this far. But one
my tiny, selfish little girl really hopes that I won't
Finding Ryan Rothwell on the other side of the door.
I gently tap the door with my finger, then from inside
a soft "Free!" sounds, I press the doorknob.
Anastasia gives me a horrified look, then sits up in bed
hiss from the sudden movement.
He's wearing my shirt.
- Hali.
Great start, Hawkins.
Stassie blinks at me like she doesn't realize it's me.
I enter his room, closing the door behind me, while all the way
I keep a fair distance between us.
"Hi," he whispers.
"I know you don't want me here, but I heard what happened." Even
I had to see you if you're going to tear my head off for this, Anastasia. My
own two
I had to see with my own eyes that you were okay.He pulls his knees to his
chest, then pulls the t-shirt over his bare legs and
he nods. At the moment, he looks anything but well
there is
"You paint better than the last time you were here." I did not know that
you tend to have migraines. It was pretty terrifying.
I take a step towards her bed and when she doesn't react to it
disastrously, I'll do another one.
"I didn't mean to scare you, and, uh, sorry for throwing up." And
everything
for other things as well. I fucked up, but not in the way you think.
- I know.
- You know?
He rests his chin on his knee and sighs.
"I know, Nathan."
She looks so broken. His face was pale and puffy, his eyes red—
either from crying, or from rubbing it, or both. Her hair,
what usually tumbles over her shoulders in shiny waves is now a tousled
mess
it's tied up in a ball on top of her head and she looks like one overall
deflated balloon.
"Stassie, can I hug you?" You look like you could use a hug and,
well i missed you so much.
"That would be nice," he says so quietly I can barely hear him.
I kick off my shoes and climb into bed. Stassie stretches out her legs to
what
I immediately notice the fresh bruises from yesterday. Not knowing how
position myself, finally I sit leaning next to his million pillows, that's
enough
close to our feet touching.
It's as if we made it up during the two weeks we spent apart,
how can we be near each other, but when I put my arms around her,
Stassie a
he crawls between my legs and buries his face in my chest.
My body knows what to do better than my mind. Gently
I pull him closer and wrap my arms around him. Then in his body
all the tension goes away, and I can breathe properly again.
Until her shoulders start shaking and her fingers a
they cling to my sweatshirt. I press my lips to his forehead
while her sobs can be heard, then getting louder and louder
becomes
"Shh, baby." Nothing wrong.- Everything... - His voice cracks in the middle
of his sobs -... a big one
chaos.
I smooth my hand on his neck, then trace it with my thumb
her face until she stops crying and lies still on my chest
not limp.
I keep my arms around his body, I don't say a word, I just hug him,
until you are ready to speak. Just the soft sound of his breathing
I listen when he finally speaks.
"Sorry for the booing."
"Hey, I threw up and then I passed out in your bed, Stas."
I can handle a little crying. Do you want to talk about what happened?
He lets go of my body and for a moment I think he's going to run away
in front of me, but then instead facing me, he sits on my hip in a riding
position.
I rub her bare thigh while she wipes away the mess with her palm
tears from his eyes.
"Have you ever been dropped from a great height, hundreds of people."
in front of your eyes?
"I once fell off a ski lift."
Stassie snorts and shakes her head.
- Of course. "He's playing with the drawstring of my sweatpants and he's
not looking."
on my face. "Everything went great." We practiced and practiced and
Aaron was fine. We were nearing the end of our number, the raise came,
and the
his wrist simply gave out.
Saying this, his voice shakes, which feels like
they would have cut me in the stomach. He finally looks at me, tears in his
eyes
they sparkle.
"I-I thought my head was going to explode." Everything happened so fast.
Aaron caught me on the way down, but then I kicked him in the leg as
spun out. He has such horrible cuts and bruises, and so do I
I feel so damn guilty.
I trace a particularly angry-looking bruise with my finger
on the inner side of his thigh.
"It's not like you got away with it easily."
"I landed on my feet instead of my head, Nate." It could have been much
worse
would be. "His whole body is shaking over mine and I don't know how."
let me fix this. "Aaron managed to put my foot on the ice, that one."
he said keep skating and somehow we managed to finish."And then what
happened?"
"I threw up, then I burped." He snorted mockingly. –
We waited for our points and by some miracle we managed to get through.
We were perfect until that moment, or I don't know. - He laughs, but the
there is no joy in his voice. Her laughter slowly turns to tears,
until he's half laughing, half crying. Seeing my incomprehension, he shrugs
his shoulders,
because he doesn't know what's going on either.
I pull his body to mine and start rubbing his back, as I did again
bursts into sobs. He wraps his arms around my neck and rests his head on
my shoulder
drives it. His sniffles and sighs tickle my neck, and so much
I have no idea what to do.
His cheek presses against mine, his breathing deepens. Then it's his nose
he presses it against my nose, puts his hands on both sides of my face, then
holds it there,
until he puts his lips on mine.
Everything is so much slower than usual. I miss the usual urgency,
a sexually frustrated rush, as is a drunken, initiated fog. Just
it's me, and he, sober, his soft body under my palm and his tongue, which
gently straining against mine.
Stassie pulls away from me, then runs her hand lovingly along the
on my beard, and in the meantime I see that a thousand questions are
swirling around the beautiful blue
in his eyes.
"Nathan, do you want to play daddy and mommy with me?"
"Always."

I GUESS IT USUALLY DOESN'T TAKE THAT LONG TO WASH A

WOMAN'S HAIR BUT
I don't have the heart to stop.
I tried to stare with my mouth open as he took off his shirt and stood
under the running water. I saw the dark purple bruises on his ribs and
stomach,
caused by Aaron catching it and my stomach doing somersaults.
I'm used to the sight of all blue-green bodies. That's it
it comes with being a hockey player and your group of friends at the same
time
it's full of clowns. But not for this. Anastasia flashed one in my direction
he gave me a sad smile and extended his hand to me to join him in the
under the shower.
"It's not as bad as it looks, I swear."Playing mom and dad and practically
forgetting about it for a few hours,
that real life existed was the best thing that could happen to Stassie
he might have remembered. Recalling what Lola said about control,
I asked Anastasia what she wanted to do. To this he immediately replied,
she wants to wash her hair, as she claims she would be unable to face it
alone
with the tangles.
I am good at massaging all kinds of things into his scalp. It's a little rough at
first
I was, but I've gotten used to it, and I can rinse off the foam properly.
It's amazing to be with him in the shower. Much more smelly shit
there is, as I knew of its existence. As it turns out, there is such a thing as
body scrub and it totally blew my mind.
"Is that why your skin is always so soft?"
It feels so damn good to hear her laugh.
"Uh, yeah, maybe."
After we both settled under the water, his body relaxed against mine
it fell and then stayed there. There's nothing sexual about this shower.
and I don't want it to be. I want to take care of you and I'm grateful
because that's what he wants too.
Stassie turns to me, then stands on her toes and starts rubbing the
my head.
"Can I wash your hair?"
His eyes are now shining brighter, his cheeks are flushed, into his face
the color is back. I've spent the last five minutes trying
to set up her hair, as I decided, such a real punk-rock hairstyle
I do it for him. But her hair is too long for her and every time is enough
I put shampoo foam on her, her locks fall forward and cut her face. Then
to this
elbows him in the stomach while he spits out the shampoo.
"You don't even reach my head properly," I snarl as I catch him
brazenly extending his hand and I lace our fingers together. "I need some."
help?
He looks at me like he wants to be stubborn, but then he certainly is
he realizes that he no longer has the option, because he nods.
I lift her up as gently as I can, and she wraps her arms around my waist
twists his leg. I slide my hand under her bottom. Well, actually
i keep it like that to keep it away from my cue - my tail doesn't understand,
a
Why doesn't the naked, wet, giggling woman spinning around us want to
sit on it?Anastasia shampoos her hands and runs them through my hair and
I swear
I moan.
"Thank you, Nathan!" I really needed this.
- Me too.Chapter twenty-three

ANAST ASIA

WHEN I WAKE UP THIS MORNING, I made a promise to myself that

this week
I'm not going to brag.
I meant it. At that moment it seemed within reach—
I even posted that it's a new week, a new beginning. I was so sure
that things will turn out great. So much in the last two weeks
I boasted that I also wondered why I didn't flood the apartment. But the
last night signaled the end of the booming tsunami.
Or so I thought.
The trouble started right there, as I could barely get out of bed. Nate a
he buried his head in my neck, his warm body clinging to mine. Already for
that
I would have preferred to disown myself at the thought of it
to curl myself from his arms.
He was so caring the night before. No, he is always caring. To bed
snuggling with him after he washes and combs my hair, my life
it was the most relaxing experience. It was easy at that moment
to talk about everything that happened.
"I don't understand how you think I could ever do it."
to refuse you, Anastasia, he said in shock. "You have no idea."
about things, right? How far I would be willing to go if
would you leave it What I wouldn't do to make you happy.
My heart then did something strange that I had never heard of before
I read. It was somewhere between a big thump and a crack.
the kind of feeling that made me question if my heart would be able to
handle this
continue to function normally.
Being with Nate brings an overwhelming sense of security, like
whatever problem I threw at him, he could handle it
to cope. In a world where I feel like the waves
he could be taken away at any moment, he is my anchor. I appreciate this a
lot
- I appreciate him a lot."I'm sorry for yelling at you!" I muttered into his
chest, where the
I rested my head.
"I deserved it," he admitted as he placed a kiss on the top of my head. –
I could have done more. I could have called you before Aaron's parents and
I could have explained things. I could have done without knowing you
something I didn't even do - he laughed. - I am sorry to
just like for one second you thought I could do something with
I can put your dreams in danger.
"I like you, Nathan," I said, glancing at his face. - And more
it hurts on different levels that I am now a person who likes one
hockey player. But it's still like that. And it's all so hard because Aaron
and he is so convinced that it was you, but I trust him
in my instincts.
- I also like you. The last two weeks have been a colossal drag.
Our conversation was then interrupted by someone shouting loudly in the
apartment
Aaron, who certainly wasn't happy about Nate coming over.
Aaron is also suffering, tormented by physical and mental torment, but he
is not yet
he found a healthy way to communicate this to me.
He dumped me and he fucking hates himself for it. I can't count anymore
no matter how many times he apologized, his mind is constantly on that
one
he clicks on a small mistake that he couldn't have made, and I don't know
how
let me pull him out of this.
I don't blame him. It was all an accident that none of us could see
forward. Barring a few bruises, I'm safe. I told him,
how grateful i am that he caught me, but that's not enough for him.
I'm afraid of how this will all affect us when
he starts working out again, because at the moment he's fucking terrified of
that
the idea of being lifted up. Even as Nathan began to raise the
in the shower to be closer to his head, my heart for a moment then
also wanted to stop him.
I'm surprised I didn't crush her—I held her so tightly with my leg,
that I probably left a mark on him. He didn't seem bothered by the
thing. I think he was just focusing on not accidentally poking me
with his penis.
I'm used to worrying about Aaron, but you're only human
you can only properly help someone if that person tells you what's wrong
there isSlamming on the door this morning - for which no doubt it was
Aaron again
– I woke up, then instead of going back to sleep, I just lay there
in my bed listening to Nate's breathing.
"I can hear the gears turning in your head, Stassie." Tell me
but, what is your brain clicking so early in the morning? He yawned, then
he kindly pressed a kiss on my shoulder.
At this point, I've already decided I'm going to have a no-cry week, so no
I wanted to throw myself into the whole Aaron thing.
"I'm trying to decide if you planted a hockey stick between the two of us."
to bed, or are you just so happy that you woke up next to me.
Then he rubbed my ass while moaning into it
into my ear. He's not a quiet guy and that affects me. It's like
it would simply flip a switch in me, as soon as my feet were connected
it just goes over to Niagara Falls.
"If I say hockey stick, do you want to play with it?"
- Good Lord. You are so bad. I hate hockey, can you believe it?
"I could make you fall in love with hockey, Anastasia," he whispered.
before my whole body got goosebumps. – With the appropriate educational
tools,
of course, with enough practice.
I don't think he was talking about his tail.
As he kissed my neck, his hand under the waistband of my panties
he slipped and began to gently rub the material between my thighs with his
fingers.
I wanted to pant like a dog. Awkward, but totally understandable.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I had to get out of it
out of bed, not lying there with him.
"I'm a very practical student… but I'm afraid we don't have time now."
practice, captain.
"Oh, screw it." "He pushed my head back with his hand and immediately
took me prisoner."
dropped my number with his own. "Call me captain again!"
I pulled away from him and narrowed my eyes.
"I think it's something we should look into."
"I'm just checking one hundred percent."
"I mean, from a psychological point of view."
He grinned.
"He's a bit of a pervert." Like.
This was the moment I should have canceled Monday and
to stay in bed. I could have let Nathan climb over melet's show each other
how much we missed each other and that we are together
let's hide from the sun.
But I was stupid and naive and thought that Monday wouldn't happen
push me out colossally.

– COULD I HAVE ANOTHER Vodka with Diet Coke, please?

When you can't cry to deal with your problems, it's alcohol
the next best option. I never thought he would be such a person
I'll be the one who wants to get drunk alone, but the thing is, I'm gone for
eight weeks
his skating partner, that's the only thing he does with a girl anymore.
The bartender places a new coaster in front of me, then puts my drink on
it.
After muttering a soft "Thank you!", I raise the to my lips
straw, then squint my eyes as my mouth fills with the
concentrated vodka.
Eight weeks. And the worst? I don't even worry about that
How will Aaron be in eight weeks - just for me
I am worried. I'm worried about my new fear of raises and whether I know
to keep up with Aaron. He can afford even a whole
skip a year - I can't imagine it not being easy
phenomenal when he comes back.
The national competition is in eight weeks and I have no idea
whether we'll be good enough to go, and damn it
it scares me. No matter how hard I call, Aaron doesn't pick up the phone,
and he doesn't even come to practice
came, not even enough to talk, which is simply lavish.
The final straw was when Nate called to say that he was
can't play either until Aaron gets back on the ice and then as soon as I put
the
phone, I called an Uber.
I told Lo that I was going to the Simone track a little extra
for practice, but I actually ended up in a seedy bar
two streets away from there.
I've been sitting here for about an hour minding my own business,
and so far it hasn't been a problem, but a group of guys a few seats away
from me is everything
it gets louder and louder with each sip.
Every time only one of them goes to the bathroom, upon returning a
team always comes one chair closer to me. Then with this a
in the end, they end up right next to me using the snail method.Almost
feeling their desperation in the air, I down my drink
the rest and the bill, please.
"Let me invite you to something, my love," he mutters in flowing words
the one sitting closest to me as he leans towards me. "You're so sexy."
- No thank you. "I'm neither too nice nor too rude."
I act exactly like everyone blames women
according to a propaganda publication, you have to deal with intrusive,
drunk men. "I'm leaving."
too.
"Don't go yet!" The fun is just beginning...
"Can we go baby?" "I recognize your voice even before that."
I would see him when I looked up to see Russ's baby face
myself, an overwhelming sense of relief washes over me. He bends down to
pick it up
takes my gym bag from the floor, bends it over his shoulder, and then
hands it to me
hand. "Sorry I'm late!"
"... It's okay... muffin," I say as I take her hand. I do
some money on the counter, then I jump off the chair, not realizing it until
then,
how drunk I am until my feet touch the ground.
Unsurprisingly, after that, the drunken guys don't even say a word
they praise Russ has terrifying proportions - I'm guessing he doesn't
it would tickle him if they started messing around here.
He opens the door for me, and the cool November breeze hits my face
tap, as I step out onto the street, hiding under his arm.
"Well, that was weird."
"Sorry, I'm Russ." We met a few weeks ago at that team building thing.
THE
I am a member of the hockey team.
"I know who you are, Russ."
The tips of his ears turn red.
"Those guys are horrible." They are always here, drinking and harassing the
other guests. I heard you say you were leaving and I didn't want you to
start messing with you.
"I really, really appreciate that."
The tips of his ears turned from pink to dark red.
- Willingly! he mumbles softly.
"I have to call a ride."
"There's a cafe around the corner." I can wait with you if you want!
I'd offer to take you, but I usually run home."I'd love to see you if you want
to join, but don't feel like it."
would be mandatory.
Café Kinley around the corner is quiet, only a few people
he drinks and drinks in it. We sit down at one of the outdoor tables and
order
two coffees.
"So, Russ." What made you want to spend your Monday night alone
at a bar when you're a minor and live miles away? "I'll tie it together."
I place my fingers and then my elbows on the table leaning forward as if
we were about to be interrogated.
He scratches the back of his head and begins to squirm in his seat.
The waiter puts our coffee in front of us and then quickly leaves. Probably
we paint like a couple about to break up - my eyes
glassy, and Russ is visibly uncomfortable.
Russ takes a sip of his coffee and drags out the silence as long as he can
you know
"I work there in the evenings." In the kitchen and things like that, he
answers. Seems,
like he's confused.
- I work at Simone's skating rink, a few streets away. –
As far as I know, the other hockey guys don't have jobs. Like America
in each of its universities, the financial gap here is also quite deep. - No
I'm rich, but my friends are, so I need the money. They love you dear
places to eat, and the job helps me to pay my share. Damn
I'm lucky that my parents pay for my skating stuff, but a
I have to find the rest.
The tension drains from his shoulders as he slumps forward, and his
tension,
what I just felt also eases a little.
"Yes, the guys in the student union house all have a wealth fund." The
my scholarship covers most of the things, but the job helps me pay for it
my share or what. Kind of like you said.
"I'm cutting," I tell him honestly.
"And what were you doing alone in a bar on Monday?"
"I suppose you know Nate was benched?" He nods. - THE
my skating partner won't answer the phone and I've banned myself
to cry Alcohol is the next best thing, isn't it?
"I don't drink often." Only sometimes a sip or two of beer, but the... - A
he bites his tongue, then immediately reaches for his coffee and takes a
long sip
use it to silence yourself. When your mug is empty, againhe glances at me.
"I'm sorry about what happened to your partner, even if."
he treats you like an asshole. What are you going to do now?
"He's not even behaving like an asshole..." I narrow my eyes.
"You don't like to talk about yourself, do you?" You also did this on the
team builder.
You made me talk about myself all the time, and I knew nothing about you
yes.
"There's nothing interesting about me, Anastasia." "The way he says it,
my heart is breaking into small pieces. Confident, thoroughly rehearsed.
It's like he's said it a million times.
"I refuse to believe that." I would be interested in what you have to say
would be
"Did you call Uber?" he asks, suddenly changing the subject.
Fuck it.
"No, I forgot." "It's like he's tensing up again, and when the
his eyes flash to his phone, I know why.
"You told Nathan, huh?"
"I wrote him that I saw you at the bar." Sorry.
"He's on his way here, right?"
"In my defense, I didn't tell him where we were."
He made it mandatory for team members to have such a location app
use it - he says, so that if we get into trouble,
be able to find us.
"Oh, Russ." I'm just starting to like you. It's simple now
you had to dip it.
His face flushes again and he sinks back into his chair.
"You're less scary than the goalkeeper." Nathan's white Tesla stops
next to us as Russ puts some money on the table.
- I think.
It's going to take quite a bit of effort to convince Russ, let him
Nathan to take him home, but as soon as he finally gets in the car, Nathan
he stays quiet while I busily try to get Russ to
talk about yourself. When we park in front of the student union building,
in which
He gives Nate a half-hearted smile.
"Thanks for the ride, kapi."
"Nothing," Nate says coolly.
Leaning back behind my seat, I hug Russ.
"Hi Muffin." I'm sorry that our relationship has ended.The guy chuckles
nervously, his eyes darting first to Nate, then back to me
he blinks, then shakes his head.
"Hi, Stassie!"
After Russ got out and I got back in my seat, I realize
that Nathan stares with a terribly confused expression.
"Muffin"? "Your relationship"? Russ next time, I swear
you show up somewhere in your jersey, I'll transfer to UCLA.
– Our love was fleeting, but it meant a lot to me. "I sigh." –
The bond between Russ and I will outlive us, but I'm more than happy for
it,
that it happened rather than lamenting that it's over, you know?
- Are you drunk. He grins and brushes my hair out of my face. "Why."
drunk alone baby?
"I put the booing on the blacklist."
Nate nods, then rolls out of the parking lot and places his hand on my
thigh.
"I don't quite understand how these two things are related."
to each other, but okay. Do you want to talk about it?
"That's what I should be asking you," I mumble while pointing my finger
I circle his hand. "I know, you said everything was fine, but really."
that's right?
"I must face the consequences of my actions, Anastasia." Skinner
sets an example for me. Nothing wrong. The team can play without me,
and a couple
in a month I will be back on track. Come on, just tell me what's going on
in that great mind of yours.
"Aaron avoids me." You can't play hockey. I can't practice and
I'm afraid of being lifted up. - I bite the inside of my face,
reminding myself that I can't cry. "No one can jump in, Aaron."
instead, because everyone already has something else to do or a partner,
and I just…
"I'll be your partner."
The words are stuck in my throat. Literally - I'm suffocating. Nate
he pats my back gently while I try to convince my lungs to
work.
"You mean that in the most respectful way possible, huh?"
It's a short drive from Russ's apartment to mine, and Nathan is already
pulling in
to the parking lot. Turning in his seat, he glances at me, his face serious.
"I said I'd be your partner." I should skate anyway and
I have to train, so I'll just join you. A littlethen disappear when the team
plays away, but other than that it's yours
I'm.
I run my hands through my hair and just shake my head as I sigh
I can think of all the reasons why this is a terrible idea.
"Figure skating is nowhere near like hockey." You can't just switch
from one to the other. That would never work, Nate.
"It's eight weeks, Stas." Maybe I can't do it that way
jump like Aaron, but I can help you practice and I can
to raise.
"You can't lift me." You don't know how to.
He places his hand on my neck and begins to stroke it gently with his
thumb
my face.
"You'll have to show me what to do, but I'm quite capable of it."
to lift you up safely. – He sighs before that strange one catches him again
throbbing-trembling sensation. "I'm a great skater, and I'm also strong."
too. He is much stronger than Aaron. I would use myself as a human first
mattress rather than letting you hit the ice.
Biting my lip, I mull over what he said.
"That's very nice of you, but it would never work."
"Give me a good reason why not." – He raises my hand to his mouth and
he presses a gentle kiss on her, thus giving me the real reason. - Just
one.
"That's exactly why," I answer quietly. "I can't mix the skates, too."
whatever is between us. I like you and it's hard for me
to say this out loud, but you have wormed your way into my heart and
achieved that
enjoy my time with you. I'm even nice to you. It shows
just really, how deep I've sunk. A complete disaster, they would say
some of them.
Nate chuckles and looks at me with such adoration that it makes my a
my breath
"You talk a lot, drunk girl, but you don't say anything like that."
which would make sense.
That's fair.
"I need to focus, Nate." And that won't work if everything
Some nights I end up in your bed.
"And what about every other night?"I roll my eyes and try to suppress my
betrayal
grin in the making.
"Nathan..."
"If you think I can't keep my dick in my pants, you're wrong." Two
months ago I thought you were going to tear it off and then feed it
with me. Look how far we've come!
My eyes are watering. Traitor.
"You fucking love ordering me around." Just think what it's like
it will be fun to teach me how to figure skate. Please say yes!
"I don't think that would be a good idea..."
"But just nod at him."
I let out an exhausted, tense sigh and nod.
"Okay." Let's be partners. Yes.Chapter twenty-four

NO THAN

WHEN I WAKE UP THIS MORNING, to pick up Stassie and Russ the

cutie
after their coffee date, it seemed just as likely as getting laid
figure skater, but here I am.
It takes about thirty seconds to panic. Stassi
that little wrinkle appears between his eyebrows that always appears when
he's just thinking deeply about something.
"Figure skating can be hard work, Nate," he blurts out
in a trembling voice. "I know you think Aaron is walking all over me, but
he is."
not true. Sometimes we literally knock each other's heads off in the middle
of the pitch.
I reach out to him, tuck his hair behind his ear, then gently a
I hold his face in my palm.
"Why do you say it's hard work, like I don't already know?"
anyway?
The frown deepens, but then Stas laughs softly. It's Monday for me
it started off great and then went to crap and kind of looks wasted
will end. I don't even know where my offer came from. I think,
I just couldn't bear to watch him hang out.
I don't think it will go too well, but at least I won't
drop it and that's all you need.
"You have no idea what you're offering yourself." – He buries his face in my
palm and
he sighs. "What if by the time we're done, you won't be able to stand?"
"Anastasia, you really don't have to worry about eight weeks from now."
i won't like you But just so you know if one ever falls out
player, I expect you to pull yourself together and start playing hockey. I
think,
your hostile attitude would be great for the team.
I manage to catch the arm swinging towards me and give it a gentle tug,
until finally Stassie climbed over the console and rode into my lap
he is not sitting."When you get out of this car, we'll be partners, and I'll be
partners."
I won't be able to reach you until January, I explain to him, if this morning
I would have known that I could kiss you for the last time, better then
I would have put myself there. One last kiss?
"You can't be serious."
"Of course I'm serious." If you weren't drunk, you would
please let me fuck you in the back seat. So a kiss is nothing.
Rolling his eyes, he leans closer to me, and then he's only a few centimeters
away
you freeze from my lips.
“Your charm knows no bounds, Hawkins.
I slip my hand into his hair and kiss him with all my might. Strange
it's a moment, somehow the end and the beginning of something at the
same time, when
and she tightens her hips against mine, I don't know if I should cry or not
rejoice.
"But I can still think of you when I beat you up, right?" - I ask
quickly as he climbs off me to get out of the car. - Or this
is it against the rules? "Please don't break the rules."
Stassie snorted like a piglet.
"You can think of me if I think of you." I'm usually used to you. It stands
bargain?
Fuck it. I nod, unable to speak while it is
my mind projects a very age-restricted picture in front of me.
The next eight weeks are going to be hell.
By the time I get home, everyone knows what happened because Stassie
wrote it
For Lola. In the meantime, I called Faulkner from the car, who said a
considering my good news, he thinks the matter will be to my advantage,
and he will figure it out
a workout plan that helps me stay in shape. The figure skate
then it contributes to me being on ice, so I think you might like it
my plan for him. I just think, not know, because then the
he called me the most bizarre kid he'd ever had to put up with, and that
he said, have fun with the kitty pants.
Lo gathered all the guys around the table in the lounge where the
theater club folds flyers for the Hamilton adaptation. That way
it's easier to tell everyone the story at the same time, but it's ten times that
they also laugh out loud.
"When you're doing so well that you're helping others, just sit down."
"Lola."
he handed me a big stack of papers to fold, then Mattiepoints to the chair
next to him. "I can't wait to see your ass in stockings"
Hawkins.
"I'm more afraid he'll stand up to her," adds Henry,
while devoting all his attention to the fact that the edges of the flyer
fit perfectly. "He's like a horn around Stassie."
puppy.
- Well thanks. Anyway, there won't be any mischief. Stas for sure
he wants to go so that nothing will distract him. Just friends
we are
At this the laughter is heard again. I have a hunch that a
I will be laughed at a lot in the next two months.

THE FIRST DISCOVERY YOU MADE following this little figure skating
experience
I do, is that I have the same Tuesday schedule with Anastasia, and
we both finish at two. We should be learning, but we just ended up
at Maple Hills Plaza.
You know when a red button appears in a movie that no one can see
you shouldn't press it either, you'll find yourself with the screen
do you scream when someone just presses you at the end? Anastasia is my
red
my button. I know I shouldn't touch it, but I want it, and down
will scream my head off if I do.
Now she looks so cute, as she passionately explains,
how important it is to skate in the right clothes.
"Stop staring at my lips and pay attention!" he snarls.
"I'm listening." I still don't understand why I can't wear it
sweatpants.
"Just don't, okay?" We'll buy you kitty pants.
So cute.
- Yes, Madam.
The first store doesn't sell men's clothes at all, the second doesn't
nothing that goes up my thighs but the third one is perfect.
- What do you think about this? Stassie asks as she holds up one of the
in my size.
"It's leopard print, Anastasia."
"I see that." What do you think?
Raising one of my eyebrows, I lean against the hanger."You mean leopard
print isn't enough of an answer?" It will be the best
if we categorically exclude animal samples. At least this way we save time.
Just as Stassie is about to argue with me, my phone rings.
Father. I'll press it.
I put the phone back in my pocket and when I look at it again, Stassie
lifts another pair of kittens.
"Then the zebra pattern is also shot?"
- Exactly.
"Are you absolutely sure about that?" Because your thighs would look great
in this.
"If you want to see my thighs, I'll be skating Calvin Kline."
in my underpants. Problem solved. Food? "He doesn't even think about it."
bother to answer. "Then I'll take that as a no."
After scouring the array of black and non-animal print options,
I can find a few in my size. Anastasia grunts back and forth and
grumpily looking at my "boring" clothes as I pay, then we
we leave the shop behind.
I reach for his hand, then immediately remember and pretend
I would just stretch. As we walk silently towards the breakfast area, I see it
from the restless look on his face that something is bothering him. Just
when it's already
I'd like to ask what's wrong, my phone rings again.
Father. I'll press it.
We sit down at a table a little further away from the crowd, where the
silence while Anastasia continues to paint in the same way.
"What's on your mind, little pig?" I mumble.
"The NHL."
I didn't expect that.
– I wholeheartedly support diversity in sports, Stas, but
I'm afraid you're a bit small for hockey, I tease him. "Why are you
brooding?"
about the NHL?
"All I can think of is how peaceful my quarter will be, because of it."
you go to canada to wrestle moose or what do i know. –
He shrugs and forces a smile on his face. "It's all nonsense." Forget it
away!
"I'm impressed you think I could handle a moose, but."
I don't think they frequent downtown Vancouver. –
I laugh. "I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but."goes from L.A. plane to
Vancouver. If you ever feel like it
to disturb your peace and visit me.
He was about to answer when my fucking phone rang again
start. Dad, again. I'll push it, again. Anastasia runs through her hair and
he sighs.
"Since I'm here, you can pick up the phone."
- I know.
"I won't freak out if you talk to other girls." "He elbows me up."
on the table, he puts his head in his hands. "The fact that you can't fuck
me"
doesn't mean anything else.
Rolling my eyes, I push my phone towards him on the table.
"Three-nine-nine-three."
Stas immediately shakes his head and tries to push the phone back towards
me.
"Nathan, you don't have to…"
I punch in the code myself as it apparently wants to respect the
my private sphere. I see him waging a fierce battle with himself, and then
finally
glances at my phone screen and sees that my call list is practically different
is not listed, only Father.
"It's complicated."
"Ah, okay, well, uh," he stammers. "Anyway, I was serious."
I mean, I don't expect you to be celibate for two months.
I snort, then watch his eyes widen uncertainly.
"We're going to spend so much time together, Anastasia." Every
opportunity
I'm going to grab you to hinder your sex life. Naturally
you do whatever you want. But good luck getting one together
number with someone who is not me.
His eyes light up, his face immediately flushes.
"Did you mean this to be cute?" Because I'm quite possessive
sounds toxic.
The corner of my mouth twitches up - I love how my day takes a turn like
this
took
"Stop bothering me with this shit." I saw how dirty the books were
are on your shelf. He covers his mouth. "So, what do you want?"
- I am well, thanks. I'll eat it when I get home, but for you
just buy what you want.
"You have some objection to being away from home."
individual?"No, but I have to keep my diet."
"Your diet?" "For everyone who spends even a little time."
With Anastasia, it is clear that she has a very complicated relationship
is with the food. I swear, half the time it's because of his bad mood
hungry.
"Aaron and I have a meal plan together." During the week, I prepare the
food and everything. We have to organize it.
"It's cool that you're so disciplined," I say cautiously. - The correct
nutrition is in my curriculum, so a lot of that stuff
I deal with. I'd love to take a look at your meal plan if you don't have one
do you object to it?
He reaches into his bag and pulls out my archenemy: a
deadline diary. He flips through it until he finds a note that
then he handed it to me.
"If you really want to."
Oh, screw it. Vegetables. Vegetables. A little protein. Vegetables.
I pull out my phone, open the calculator, and that's about it
I calculate the quantities. "Who compiled this list?"
"Aaron."
His answer is not surprising, but still disappointing. This is the one time
I get speechless. My feelings for Aaron Carlisle are understandable
they are not very positive, and I think he deserved it. But that's fucking
weird.
Either he has no idea about proper nutrition, or he does it right away.
"Anastasia, you eat very little." You're not taking in enough
nutrients.
I'm trying not to sound like I'm yelling at him, or
I would downplay it - it's not his fault. He takes the note back and runs it
through
look at the list.
- What do you mean?
– Your body burns calories just by existing. So feed it
you need your body to live. For someone who likes skating and
strength training burns as many calories as you do, you need more
eat so that your muscles can regenerate properly.
- I'm fine.
"If you don't eat enough, you'll be more prone to injuries and serious
injuries."
for health problems. You've always made it so easy
bruises like lately?His brain must be spinning a thousand times right now.
He froze motionless and it seems
trying to understand what I said.
- Maybe? I'm not sure.
I noticed not so long ago that it is constantly full of blue-green spots.
Until now I assumed it was due to falls and similar things, but
now that I've seen them up close, I know how serious they really are.
- Ugly bruises can be a sign of nutrient deficiency. You are a lot
tired? Nervous? Are you irritated for no reason? Menstruation has changed
your cycle?
"Jeez, Nate." - He looked around, puffed up, to see if he was listening
someone us. "I'm tired, nervous, and irritated because I'm working hard."
he continues more quietly. "Then you probably know better than anyone
that this is."
it's just like that.
"Stas..."
"As for my menstrual cycle, which sucks anyway."
it's none of your business, I'm on birth control that stops it completely.
Already
I haven't had a bleed in years.
He crosses his arms in front of his chest and leans back in his chair.
Defiance, anger,
and a dash of uncertainty. I didn't mean to pull it up, but this
I won't let him eat like that either.
– There are hardly any carbohydrates on this list.
"And?"
"You need carbs, Stassie." I'm not asking you to gobble it up
from fast food, but you need more calories, baby. I can put it together for
you
a new plan. We'll give them both to Brady and let him see
which one do you like better.
"Okay." He shrugs. - Whatever.
"Did Ryan ever see your meal plan?"
He furrows his brows.
- What? No. Why?
I remember that phone call last month - I've had it on my mind several
times,
to bring up what ryan said but so much has happened that quite
so far I haven't had a chance to do that.
"Ryan once said Aaron pokes his nose in what you eat."
Stas rolls his eyes.
"Never mind Ryan!" If it were up to him, he would eat KFC every single
night
would feed me, and that is simply not realistic. I do not have anyI have a
superhuman metabolism like him. Aaron sometimes says that
he struggles to pick me up and Ryan gets grumpy.
What the fuck.
"You say you have a hard time lifting it?"
"If I don't stick to the plan, then yes." My weight sometimes yoyos
a little.
I rub my face and try to suppress the turmoil inside me
anger. The whole arena situation means not only on the field but
we also have to share the gym and I've seen Aaron with ease
lift twice Anastasia's weight. He might not be a big guy,
but strong.
"That guy is a total neurotic, Stas."
"Don't be so dramatic!"
"I don't want to fight about it because it's not your fault." But this guy
he's controlling you and I'm going to show Brady how
let me prove it.
Stas closes his eyes and blows and rubs his temples.
"You're giving me a headache."
"Because I care about you."
"There's no way you could take care of me in a way that doesn't hurt me a
lot."
problem?
"We'll solve it together, I promise."
Reaching over the table, he places his hand on mine and squeezes it
my fingers.
"I'm going to get us some food." I'll be back.
I try not to notice that his voice cracks when he says this
he says.Chapter twenty-five
ANAST ASIA

- WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG?

I can hear him stomping around on the other side of the dressing room
door, but still
he did not emerge from there. This is our first practice and we will be late
to the ice,
which does not bode well for the next two months or Nathan's survival
looking at your chances.
"Nathan!" I shout, banging on the door.
"I can't go out."
I watch the door with furrowed brows—ridiculous, I know
I paint, but unfortunately I can't look at him grumpily, after which he
refuses
to come forward.
"Why?"
"Because of the kitten pants." Too tight. Everything is visible in it.
"If you don't come out, I'll go in!"
He pokes his head out while still hiding his body behind the door.
- I'm serious. These pants, uh... You can see everything in them.
"Yes, we all understood that." You have a big dick. Blah blah blah, it's
pretty much done
stroked your ego? We are running late. Come on, let's get started! –
Brady is already on his way when Nate finally opens the door properly.
I don't think I've ever seen a pair of kitten pants that
she left less to the imagination than what she was wearing. It looks like
it would have been painted on and you can see its outlines in it. A very,
very well
visible outlines. - Oh, my God.
Brady looks him over, and then, just to be safe, that's it
repeats the entire test once more. Hands on hips
shakes his head.
"I'm sorry Mr. Hawkins, but I can't let you wear this." "Nate."
looks like a bunny in the car headlights while
he hid behind the door again. "Do you have anything else?""I have a pair of
shorts in my closet, maybe I could wear them over it?"
"I think that would be a wise decision." "Nate hides back in the locker
room, me."
I can feel the coach lurking behind me. When I turn to
shakes his head. "It's a slippery slope, Anastasia."
"I don't know what you're talking about." "It's a lie." Big lie. Powerful
lie. "Should I go warm up?"
"Defend yourself." Just ask Prishi. Your bladder will never be
as it was
- We do not…
He interrupts me with a single loose wave of his hand.
"We're both adults." Don't insult my intelligence.
I see him looking at you. I want to see my best skater on the podium,
rather than on the parent ball. Did we understand each other?
"Perfect, coach."
What he didn't consider in his little speech was the possibility of
that his best skater is about to die of shame.
And why does he only ever call me his best skater when
do I have no witnesses to this?
When he finally steps out of the locker room, Nate gently elbows him in
the side
me.
"Are you ready Allen?"
"No, and don't come to me."
"Don't let me go to you, don't tie me up at parent's ball... There are so
many rules,
Anastasia.
His eyes widen as I look up at him, seeing myself face to face
with a smug grin. Happiness reassures and serves as proof that
that he is not as nervous as I am. As proof that
that you won't realize that if this little experiment fails, I might end up
giving up.
I'm completely immersed in my thoughts when it suddenly entangles me
our fingers.
"Everything will be fine," he whispers to me as he heads for the warm-up
section. –
It might even be fun.
I clicked my tongue loudly.
"If you think it's fun, it means you're not working hard enough."
hard.
Nate chuckles, earning a hiss from Brady.
"You sounded like a real tyrant."Once we've warmed up, it's finally time to
find out what it is
Was it really a terrible idea?
"For this to work, you need to keep a routine in mind, Nathan—"
the trainer says, turning into a smirk as he pulls his faux fur coat together
and
he wraps his arms around himself tightly. It never even occurred to me that
maybe I won't be the one Nate can't stand. "I don't know what."
Coach Faulkner gives you a break, but in my arena you do
what i tell you
Nate nods. His former smug grin is a thing of the past.
- I bought.
"Both of you, go for a walk." "She's focused on Nate." "Pay attention to
to be graceful, not to be fast, but keep the pace
With Stassie.
"It's graceful." Slow. I bought it... Oops! Why are you always pinching
yourself? moans a
rubbing his belly.
"I'm not slow!" I've already proven that I'm faster
at you. Do I have to do it again?
Nate gags, but before he can retort, Brady
he claps his hands together.
- Based on "graceful", how did you think it was a competition?
do i want to see Do what I said, now!
We set off and Nate manages to keep up. When enough is enough
we moved away from the coach to make him feel safe, closer
pulls to me.
"What's all this applause?"
It's fun to watch someone face Brady for the first time
with his hepps. After working with him for more than two years, I don't
even notice anymore
I'll buy it.
"I like to imagine that he was a dog trainer in his previous life."
We get back to where we started, where I immediately notice,
that the coach doesn't like something. It's damn easy to spot
things you see six days a week. Poor Nate is like that
he seems pleased with himself, and to his credit, he kept it up all along
step with me.
- How was I? he grins.
Brady takes a sip through his teeth.
"Like a drunken deer that accidentally wandered into a frozen pond.""Are
there a lot of drunken deer in Montana, coach?" I ask, and that's all
at the last minute I remember Montana, not Russia
let me say.
"Just don't talk to me, Anastasia." Come on, do it again!
Gracefully. "I'll shoot a thousand rounds before Brady is finally satisfied
with Nate's."
with grace. "Much better, Nathan." You don't play hockey now. Nobody
will
attack on the ice.
- Sincerely, coach... - His eyes flash stealthily at me - ...I don't think
that you can be so sure of this.
As we get into the swing of things, I find myself wondering who knows
For the first time in a while, I'm really enjoying working out, and I think
with this one
So is Brady.
I slide to the center of the court and stand next to Nate to show him
the easier jumps for him. You don't have to do anything complicated to
help me but it's important to be in the right place and the right one
look in the direction while I do the really tricky parts.
And what is most important is to recognize each movement
my name so you know what I'm doing and don't accidentally get in my way.
"I'm going to make it very easy for you." Just watch my feet!
“Stassie,” he mutters. "I'm almost a hundred percent sure
that I could skate before I could walk. You don't have to make it easy
my business. I probably know a lot more than you think.
Arrogance. How much I love messing with it.
"Okay, great." Which blade do you jump from at Lutz? "He's standing in
front of me."
and I can see on his face that he has no idea what I'm talking about. "Well,
about that."
that's all, you've just proven that you're better off holding the
your mouth and listen to me.
"Come on, please," he snorted. "Let's start with the fact that I don't even
know what it is."
the Lutz.
"You're the most annoying guy I've ever met."
"I don't care what you call me as long as I'm at the top of the list."
Still, how the hell am I supposed to put up with this six days a week?
Even when it's so annoying, I'd rather throw myself at it.
The long-sleeved t-shirt we bought last time just clings to his muscles,
that's it
her face is flushed, and every time she looks at me, the corner of her mouth
twitches up,
everything is going out of my head.A guy turned me completely and totally
out of me. I'm disgusted
from myself, for being so scattered, for knowingly allowing myself to
may every drop of my feminism crumble and die
because of dimples and thick thighs.
"Why do you look like you're going through a crisis?"
Because that's exactly what's happening?
- Pay attention! I won't explain it again.
"Hey, I'm not the one daydreaming in the middle of practice."
– There are six types of jumps in figure skating: the toe loop, the flip, the
Lutz, the
Salchow, Rittberger and Axel. They are divided into two groups, there are
the stabbed,
and high jumps. Do you have any tips as to what the stabbing jump could
be?
"The ones that require this useless fucking knurled thing?"
The only thing Nathan doesn't like so far is the new
his skates. Unlike the hockey skates on which we
we use it, there are cracks in the front. After we finished at the mall, we
had a
a quick training session on Simone's track, and by the end I couldn't even
count,
how many times did he fall on his face? Not to mention what a fucking
sucker he is
break in your new skates.
"It's not useless, you'll need it." But yeah, you're getting away with it
first you put this "useless, fucking friggin' thing" on the ice. The high jumps
you either start from the inner or the outer edge. Simple, right?
He moans something that sounds roughly like "yes" and then carefully
watches my legs as I spin, stretch my left leg back, and then a
I hit the ice.
– Simple toe loop.
He imitates my movements - and to his credit, quite
he succeeds well, except for the uncertain landing - and then we go
next.
"What move did you make a few weeks ago when you were like a bowling
ball?"
did you hit the backboard? he asks as he stands up and dusts off the ice
about her ass.
"He wanted to be a four-turn Lutz." "That was meant to be the key word
here." –
The Lutz Stab Jump.
"It seemed difficult."
"It's hard."
"I feel like you don't want to talk about it.""I have nothing to say." "I sigh."
"After I cut my head,
Brady took it out on me. He is not a common figure in the women's singles,
nor is he in the doubles
almost unheard of. He felt it was an unnecessary risk.
"Then why are you doing it?" "He's not a jerk." I honestly think so
interested in the matter. "I'm just trying to understand what's on your
mind, Stas." It's not
my goal is to make you feel bad.
I don't know how to explain it. This seems to be the kind of topic
what I should unpack in therapy, not casually chat about it
right in the middle of training. But I owe him enough to be honest.
– I wasted several years skating with someone who
he couldn't match my level, simply because he was my boyfriend. –
Classic. "Don't get me wrong, we were very good, but we just weren't."
they are extraordinary. I might have achieved more with another partner.
Now you do
I don't want to do the same to Aaron.
"And it's going well for Aaron, isn't it?"
"Of course it's going." "I snort." "He spent countless hours doing
that he tried to teach me properly, even though he always said he didn't
he believes he will ever succeed. There's a reason why it's not common
movement, but I'm stubborn. I'll keep trying, though
will not be included in the program this season.
"I like that you're so determined," she says gently.
"If you want to stare at each other longingly, do so."
in your spare time! - shouts the coach from the sidelines, reminding him
that
we should be skating, not thinking.
Nate lets out a big sigh and puts his hands on his hips.
"This woman scares me to death." And what about that jacket? He is not
aware of
that we are in California?
- Szörnyella de Frász is a fashion model. You'll get used to it.
NATHAN GROANS ONCE, THEN gives a loud hiss as we get into the
to his car.
"You're so dramatic!" I laugh as I drop my bag at my feet
next to it. "It wasn't so bad."
"My body wasn't made for ballet and yoga, Stas," he mutters.
while putting the car in reverse. "My legs are on fire.""You're not flexible at
all, are you?" It was like chopping a log
I would have stared.
Raising one eyebrow, he glances towards the mother-in-law seat.
"I don't have to be flexible because you are flexible."
thank you, we are perfect for each other.
"You were good, Nathan." Seriously, I'm grateful. Thanks!
"I spent half the time falling on my knees and face." Never before
I didn't focus as much as I did during those fucking laps.
I was scared to death that I was going to fall. You sure don't
can i wear my own skates
"I swear you'll get used to it."
"Or you'll get used to me kneeling all the time."
- His forehead creases. - I did not mean. That is, I can also understand
if you want to. Honestly, I'd be more than happy with that.
"One day," I huff. "You lasted a day."
Nate makes me laugh the whole way to my apartment, mostly at his own
expense,
but it also matters. As I get out of the car and grab my bag,
I lean towards him.
"See you in the morning!"
"Bring coffee!" he shouts as I close the door.
I was secretly dreading coming home and now as I watch the elevator
getting higher and higher, I wish I could be anywhere else.
I didn't tell Nathan, but Aaron has been looking through me ever since.
that when I got home last night I told him about the new skates
about my training plan.
And if that wasn't enough, I haven't been able to get rid of it since the
afternoon
off the top of my head what Nathan said about my meal plan. Shame
indeed, though
I never bothered to blame myself for nutrition
regarding. When I was still living at home, my mother took care of my
meals, that's it
in college I let Aaron do this and trusted him, you know what
do.
I know Lola is on probation, so Aaron should be home alone
to be, which will hopefully give me the perfect opportunity to
let me talk to him. Emphasis on hopefully.
Entering the apartment, I immediately see him on the sofa in the living
room, as
he is watching a movie."Hey!" – He turns his head towards me, looks at
me, but does not return the
thank you I swallow the lump growing in my throat, the sweaty one
I wipe my palm on my stomach as I walk up to him. –
can we talk
Again, he doesn't answer, but at least he stops the movie and looks at me
when he does
dropping my gym bag at my feet, I sit next to him on the couch.
"Um, that's all I could think of... Do you think there are enough calories in
food?"
in my plan? And, I don't know, I mean, it's varied enough to
to be healthy?
"Why the hell are you asking me that?" he snaps.
I take a deep breath and shrug.
"It just came up today, and someone, so to speak, suggested that it wasn't."
I eat enough. I would also like to discuss this with you so that…
"Who hired him?" Hawkins? "As if the poison was dripping from his voice,
as he says Nathan's name. "You suck it a couple of times, and suddenly it's
better."
do you know what you need like me?
Hearing his words, all the air escapes from my lungs. Do not spit or swallow
I know the surprise. Shock is perhaps an even better word for what I feel.
As that feeling fades away, resentment takes its place.
- What? No! Why are you such a jerk? I just wanted this
to discuss with you that…
Again cutting me off, he jumps up from the sofa and runs his hand along it
on his face.
"You know what, Anastasia?" Fuck you. If Nate Hawkins is like that
he's fucking smart, then go ahead and rely on him for everything. - His
hands are shaking, a
his gaze is on fire as he stares into my eyes. "But when you find out, don't
come."
crying to me because you are the one who drops the panties of everyone
who just
wearing a sports shirt!
My heart pounds in my chest as he storms into his room and then
he slams the door shut with such force that the whole building seems to
shake. THE
sinking into the couch, I reach into my bag and pull out my phone.
"Miss me already?" Nate asks with a laugh as he takes the call.
I wipe my tears with my hand and clear my throat.
"Could you come for me?"Chapter twenty-six
NO THAN

- A PINCH OF SALT. No, a pinch. A pinch, Robbie! That's not a pinch!

–
Anastasia takes a deep breath and forces a smile on her face
fishes out the pile of salt that Robbie had just poured into the bowl.
"I'm sorry," the guy mutters as he actually bites me this time
a pinch of salt.
- Nothing wrong. Sorry for yelling!
Stassie set about teaching Rob to cook. That is, the expression that
"trying to teach you" is a bit more accurate. I bet with Stas for ten bucks,
that Robbie would convert him before the pan even got hot.
Stassie claimed it would all be child's play, but I think it's because of the
stress
he's sweating, and every time he says something, his eyes are on me first
flashes, and when he speaks, his voice is full of calm.
"You have to let them get to know each other in the pot," he explains
Stassie more or less patiently. "But you can't let them burn."
"Just no burning." Make friends in the pot. I'm cutting.
Avoiding the counter, Stassie sits in the chair next to me, her textbook
he reaches for it and, following my example, continues to study.
Oddly enough - and at this point I'm forced to bow my head a
in front of a diary - for the first time since I arrived at Maple
Hillsre, I'm not behind with the houses. We train together, next to each
other
we brush our teeth, we eat a meal.
I have no idea what we are to each other, but I like it. To another level
we raised dad and mom.
He doesn't say a word about my ten bucks as he sits next to me, but
focus on your work. All you have to do is let your feet take it easy
fall to mine.
Well, I've come to this point: I'm grateful that his feet are touching mine.
The,
that it is always here, but I still can't reach it, it was difficult, it still is
it's hard, and it's only going to get fucking harder.It's been two weeks since
Aaron in the most Aaronic way possible
he behaved and kicked Stassie down and practically whored her. Stas was
totally out
ready when I went to pick her up that day - clutching her sleeping bag,
she stood sobbing in front of their building.
Making him promise that it's just one night, pillow barricade
we built on the bed so that, respecting our agreement, we would not cross
the
the limits of our friendship. This was two weeks ago and still a
I sleep on the other side of your pillow barricade. On the other hand, at
least finally properly
to know each other. When we lie on both sides of the barricade at night,
we always talk about everything we can think of until
none of us sleeps. Although it's always him - I never tire of it,
to listen to him talk about himself.
In some strange, almost morbid way, I am happy about this. If otherwise
things would have worked out, then I've spent the last two weeks
wallowing in it
rather than by getting to know what triggers it. Nothing
we would have achieved. I could have left school to stay at home
and find out exactly how many ways I can get my name
shout out…
But I shouldn't even think about that now, because they're friends now
we are, and nowadays he only shouts my name on the ice.
"Stassie?" says Robbie. "I think they're friends." What am I doing now?
Stas jumps off his chair and runs his finger along the line as he passes
behind me
along my waist, which felt like lightning running down my spine. Wet
one look at the food, then nods proudly. - Looks good. Well done.
"And what are we eating, chef?" I ask him playfully as I close the
my textbook, which is now officially boring.
My calculations were correct and following Aaron's plans they really
weren't
ate enough. It was one of the few times in my life when
I was not happy that I was right. Brady approved of the plan, which I did
I put it together - he was even shocked that Anastasia at all
why has he eaten so little so far? Stas didn't want to drag Aaron into it
matter - he pointed out that he would have to deal with the guy later
to skate, and by dipping him into the coach, only his own life
would make it difficult.
Anastasia and Lo don't want to believe that Aaron is such a badass.
that he does this directly, and they argue that he is simply too
stubbornadmit, he has no idea what he's doing, but we'll discuss that at
some point
another time.
One of the changes made to Stassie's meal plan is that
I try to feed him more exciting things than chicken and salad.
We take turns teaching him new recipes, and sometimes he finds
something on the internet that...
he likes it, and I change the recipe so that it fits the
to your macros. I don't think any of us expected the fear,
caused by this disordered eating.
A "fraudster" in his own words can rationalize to a certain extent
meal, but understandably it was terribly difficult for him to process that
Change 99% of what you've been eating. I planned it that way
we are making changes slowly, but he said he doesn't have time for that
slow down and would rather just get into it. I recognize the warning
signs, once they are in front of my eyes, but Stas promised that he would
speak a
about the matter with his therapist, so I can't say anything else.
It's not that he doesn't like the food he eats - he just doesn't
it's just that there's this stubborn fear that it's going to get fat and it's too
heavy
will be enough to lift it, it won't fit into his skate clothes. This
it's terrifying - it's almost brainwashing and that's all I can think of, but still
how many times has he been told this.
– JJ wants to teach me how to make an authentic Indian curry.
I casually mentioned to him that I had never done anything that wasn't
one
came from glass, to which he said something about how with this
I insult your ancestors. He takes his phone out of his pocket and I don't
even have to see it
the screen so I know he's looking at the calorie counter. "It fits, doesn't it?"
– Traditional Indian food is good for you. It's all practical
vegetables, spices, meat, lentils, and whatever else you put in it. nutrient-
from a very complex point of view - I explain the most important
advantages
taking forward. "Only the Western, semi-finished version is full of all the
crap."
Then at a certain point the entire Indian kitchen was made a scapegoat.
Of course it fits.
"Okay, JJ should be home from the gym soon." "He'll put it away."
his phone and extends his hand to me. "In the meantime, let's stretch a
little, my little one."
my figure skater.
Groaning loudly, I take his hand and let him pull me through the
living room.It's been two weeks of aching thighs, knurled skates, and
fucking ballet
era. For the past two weeks, he's been proving that he's a better skater than
me on a daily basis.
Brady has been staring at me for two weeks like he can see into my soul
and know everything
some of my secrets. My fucking everything hurts: my ass, my thighs, the
foot traffic I may be strong, but now I know that I am not flexible.
I lie down on the floor and lift both legs. Stas to his chest
he presses my leg and then leans forward, using his own body weight
stretches the ligaments in my knees.
Of course, the most perfect moment for JJ and Henry
get home, the one with my feet in the air, moaning loudly
I lie on the floor. From my current situation, it is quite difficult to decide
what a picture they are making, but I can hear JJ chuckling under his
mustache.
"Then I'll come, Anastasia."
Henry stands next to us and tilts his head to the side to examine what is
happening
we do.
"Isn't it strange to be on this side of body bending, Anastasia?"
Stas pushes a little harder and my tendons start to scream.
I love and hate this in equal measure, but thanks to the awkward position
I only understand what Henry asked when Stas answers him.
"You know what, Hen?" A bit weird, yes.
As much as the whip usually cracks on me, I'm glad that the
guys distract Stas so much that it's not Aaron all the time
in mind. The guy keeps sending her apologetic messages.
The red mist lifted for just a moment, he wrote, convincing Stassie that
anyway, he didn't want to hang his head. But it still hurt Stas, and now
he begins to question his own judgment.
- Friendships are important, but so is living in a healthy environment -
I heard him talk to himself after he dialed Aaron's tenth call. –
Everyone has room for improvement.
I tell you every single day, you can stay as long as you want. Selfish
way, I really enjoy having him around me all the time, just like the
guys too. They are just as involved in having Stas here as I am.
and they even told me not to be sarcastic when I suggested that
I check into a hotel with him, they just don't want to
go back to Aaron like I did.
After Lola gets home and tucks into the food that Robbie cooked, she and
Anastasia
they declare, surrounded by so much testosterone, their brains begin to
struggle,so I take them to the movies for a girls night out.
I don't want to make things awkward by using your due date
scold me, but until now Stassie has been filling her time with totally
unnecessary things.
Living with us was a real culture shock for him, as there is nothing then
done when it should.
I can see how tense you are when you feel you're behind, so
I do my best to keep myself that way
to his schedule, while reminding him that sometimes it's good to deviate
from
from a plan - for example, when one just decides to go and have a look
some romantic movie.
As I pull into the driveway after dropping the girls off at the movies,
I notice that an unknown car is standing in my place. As I turn the
key in the lock, my phone rings, then as soon as the door opens,
I don't even have to ask who is calling and why.
"Nathaniel," my father says curtly. "Good to see you alive."
"What the hell are you doing here?" I blurt out.
"You mean the house I paid for, the one my only son lives in."
is he alive Or in California?
Bile floods my throat at the superiority in his voice. Honestly
I have no idea how someone could raise Sasha and me like that
he's a fucking obnoxious person and yet we didn't become like him.
Looking at my father is like looking into a mirror showing the future.
Same hair, same eyes, practically the same face. Regrettable
way, there can be no doubt as to whose son I am. But the
nature, jesus. It's like Aaron's personality
I would have, or what the heck.
- Both.
"You didn't answer my calls."
"You flew a thousand miles just because I was too busy to."
shall we chat on the phone? Seriously?
I don't even notice the guys are here until the
out of the corner of my eye, I don't see them whispering into the lounge.
It's always been quite embarrassing for me because their parents are all like
that
they are kind. Henry's moms live in Maple Hills and even they don't jump
just like that, without notice.
"I traveled here because I have business in California." Here's why
I am because I wanted to see you. "The role of caring father is always
great."enjoyed popularity. If I didn't know him, I might believe him. –
Like I said, you didn't answer my calls.
I sit down on the couch, in exactly the same position as he is sitting
opposite me
in an armchair. It's all so suspicious - my instincts tell me something is
wrong
ok
"What kind of business do you have in L.A., anyway?" You are aware of
that, right?
isn't it snowing here?
"Don't pretend you know anything about the family business." "His mask."
slips aside. "It's not against you that your tuition, your house, etc
spend the family's money on that hundred thousand dollar car you drive.
Just
you just don't want to contribute to anything.
I bend forward on my knees and sigh. I'm not
is willing to start again in the discussion that has been going on between us
since then,
that I dropped out of high school and announced to him that I wasn't going
to study economics
to study at Colorado State University.
"Why are you here, father?"
"Your sister is sad." - You do not say. "You need to talk to him." It says,
he wants to stop skiing.
Sasha doesn't want to stop skiing. But that's the only thing
to get dad to pay attention to him.
"What else did he say?"
Dad rubs his jaw, frowning. fuck you
even our gestures are the same.
- What do you mean?
"I don't think he just walked up to you and said,
stops. What is he asking that you refuse to pay attention to? What does he
want? skies,
I'm not supposed to teach you how to raise a sixteen year old.
"Watch your mouth, Nathaniel."
"Are you paying attention to him at all?" "I'm talking louder and louder,
like anger."
it's bubbling in my chest. "Sasha's not some fucking racehorse,
but a little girl. It doesn't exist to win you trophies.
You have needs! You're lucky you haven't applied for the
coming of age.
I want him to start yelling at me so we can have a good argument
on this, but he just stares at me without any emotion.
"He loves to ski, you know he does." He wouldn't be as good at it if he
wasn't
would love it. But you need some rest, Dad. It needs attention and carefor
him, and that he knows that your love does not depend on how good he is
times run.
"He wants to travel during the winter break."
I knew dad knew. I wouldn't be surprised if Sasha is already months
she would beg for it since then, but dad ignored it all.
- You see? Simple. Take her to St. Barts or something. Let the sun shine
on the beach, read something, down a virgin pina colada or two.
Without even missing a beat, my father lets go of the
next to his ear what I said and nods towards the stairs.
"Looks like a woman lives in your bedroom." Where is he?
This surprises me, and this was clearly his intention. This is usually the
only one
his purpose, which is also evident from the way he appeared here without
calling. When the
initial shock subsides, they realize what it means, and for the first time I am
happy
to him that Anastasia is not here.
"How did you get into my room anyway?"
He gets up from the armchair and adjusts his jacket.
"I just remember my own wife's birthday." - The air
will change. It's getting cold. It's suffocating. I do not know. "Well,
apparently a lot."
you are busy and you don't want me here. I stayed at the Huntington
and if you decide you can take it for a single meal
the man who gave you everything you ever wanted. Two days
I will fly home later.
And with that final twinkle of played-out self-pity, after
he got what he came for, I watch him walk out the door.Chapter twenty
seven

ANAST ASIA

WHAT IT WAS MADE FOR, make it feel better

man, positive reinforcement sucks. It doesn't even work. A little bit
I don't feel more positive either. Neither confirmed. Then why?
do I fight with him too?
Nate steps up behind me so that his body is towering over me and then
hugs me tightly
my waist, the heat of his fingers almost scorching the exposed skin of my
stomach. His body
holding it close to mine, he puts his lips on my ear and whispers:
"Are you ready for this, Allen?"
My heart is about to jump out of place, my thoughts are chaotic
chaos reigns. It's been weeks and I don't know if I'm ready. No.
I know you don't. I do not want.
"Three, two, one..."
"Don't!" "I'll grab your wrist and it won't take much."
get rid of him. "No, it won't work!"
Nate lets go, then lets me slide away on the ice, shaking me off
the uncomfortable tension that makes the back of my neck tingle. This
starts
to be ridiculous and I know that. I feel your frustration
every time I stop him before he picks me up. He never lets me down
he never says a word, but I still know he's there.
Nate slides in the opposite direction, hands on hips, and takes a few deep
breath.
"Nate, I'm so sorry!" "I'm already shouting for the regiment."
Nathan glides towards me and I want to give myself to him
my instincts. I want to let you take me in your arms, take me away from
here
and shower me with your care. I want to wrap my body around him and let
him
whisper promises into my skin that you will never let me down.
My face is held by two hands, gently bending my head back. That
I want him to lean down and kiss me, but he won't do it because he
I told him you shouldn't.One more thing to blame myself for.
- Why do not you trust me? "His voice is gentle, that's all."
makes this all harder. "Stas, I won't drop you."
"I..." I can't answer him. Every time it's just nervousness
my stomach starts to churn, I can't even breathe. We have already
practiced it
at the gym, and I know he can lift, but for some reason he's here
we're out on the ice and doing it live, it's just too much. "I trust you."
in you. I don't know what's wrong with me.
As we head towards Brady, we see his usual nervous look on his face
sitting grimacing.
"You have to solve this somehow." Anastasia, if you want a couple
to compete, you must be able to work together a
with your partner.
And he says all this as if this is not the next thing to do
my mania.
"I know, coach."
"The longer you let this fear rule you, the more."
you will suffer more. Get over it, and get over it fast.
Holding back my tears, Nate and I get off the ice and put it on
our defenders. The worst part is that it's so much fun anyway
Training with Nathan, and now that he's getting used to his new skates,
he learns quickly.
Even though he's here to help me, I'm strangely proud of him,
whenever he manages a jump. Don't get me wrong, you already are
landed on his bottom a thousand times and each time funnier than the last,
but now when he falls on the floor, every time I try to help him up,
he kicks my legs out from under me and pulls me into his lap.
My love for skating has been rekindled, and it's in large part to him
is due. Walking towards the changing rooms, he wraps his arm around my
shoulder.
"This will work." I'll come up with a plan for it. We'll get through it
together
on this.
He suddenly stops when I follow his gaze and catch a glimpse of him
the person I least expected.
"Aaron, what are you doing here?"
"Can we talk?" – His gaze wanders to Nate, before his whole body
he tenses up. "Face to face."
"No way," snaps Nate."Nathan..." "I don't need a fight." "I have nothing to
say."
to you, Aaron.
"Then don't say anything," he says gently. "Just listen to me."
then I step down.
Nate's arms tighten around me as the two of them tense
I was caught between. This has never happened to Aaron before
we haven't spoken to each other for a long time - it's not that we haven't
I desperately want him to say something that makes sense
of all this, but because I'm tired of being verbal
be his punching bag.
"Let me change first," I tell him. "I'll see you in a few minutes."
in the office.
"Anastasia," Nate says firmly, and I can feel his tension, but I don't
I can avoid Aaron until the end of time.
I squeeze the hand resting on my shoulder, trying to calm him down.
"There will be nothing wrong, and it will only take a few minutes."
Entering the dressing room, my mood immediately improves as soon as I
hear a couple, that's it
gossiping about younger skaters preparing for their training.
"He's such a fucking sexy guy."
"He's the captain of the hockey team."
"What a lucky guy."
"He can tell they're messing around behind Aubrey's back."
"I heard he made Aaron."
"I thought the girl was with that basketball player."
"Right, Aaron is pretty badass."
"No, I'm following the guy with the basketball and all the time about that
blonde girl
posting something about Olivia.
"They're really together." I bet Aubrey has already figured it out.
"I would face the coach's anger if the guy looked at me like that."
Did you hear that he had to wear shorts because his f… was so big?
- Girls? I say while trying not to laugh. –
Coach Brady is waiting for you.
It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. THE
no further squeals can be heard from the girls as she was horrified
they pass me by with a picture.
Neither half of me wants to rush getting dressed one bit because
dreading having to face Aaron while the otherhalf of me wants nothing
more than to get over it quickly. When finally
I trudge out of the dressing room, Nathan is waiting for me there.
"I don't like that," is the first thing he says. Gently a
he takes my face in his hands, and I don't stop to hide in his warmth.
"I want you to make your own decisions, but please remember how."
you don't owe him anything. Don't let it make you feel guilty.
"Will you wait for me in the car?"
He nods, then leans forward, but changes his mind, straightens up again,
and finally he makes up his mind and plants a quick kiss on my forehead,
before heading for the exit.
The drive to the office seems twice as long as usual,
because I know who is waiting for me there, but I collect it regardless
myself and open the door.
Aaron sits at the table with the wounded man's wrist strapped to his chest,
causing him to
this whole thing seems extra serious. I close the door behind me and then
I sit down across from him, concentrating on not gasping for air.
"I've been meaning to come here for weeks," Aaron says quietly across the
table
staring at his resting free hand. "But I was angry with you, and that's how it
is for one of us."
it wouldn't have been good either.
I'm surprised my state doesn't fall to the floor. Aaron practically
chased me, begged me to go home, but it seems that I did
was he mad at me?
"What reason did you have to be angry with me anyway?"
"Are you kidding me now?" He moves out without saying a word
you would have told me too, and then you're hooking up with the guy for
whom
can't I skate?
My chin twitches as I try to stay calm.
"He says he had nothing to do with it."
"You believe everything he says." This is your problem, Stassie. –
He snorts and looks me straight in the eye. "You're so naive." you pretend
as if you were Ms. Positive and want to communicate, but a big
it's all a pile of shit. You're just lying to everyone.
Is this a fever dream? It's impossible for me to hear what he's saying. Not
even
I know what to answer first. It would be best to just be here
I would leave it and never talk to him again, but unfortunately I can't do
that.
"If you're not going to do anything else but sit there and insult me, then
better."
counties."I'm not insulting you." I want to talk. I want to make things right
between the two of us.
"How can you not hear how you insult me?" You're mad at me for that
I moved out, but you told me to move away. –
I try not to let it finish me, but my brain prefers it
he would shout, my heart would skip a beat. "I haven't eaten enough until
now."
Aaron. For months I was at higher risk of injury and
are you the problem here? I trusted you!
"You're a fucking drama queen." Why are you pretending
would I have starved you? – He groans loudly, turns it towards the ceiling
for a moment
his gaze, then looks at me again. "I thought you were fine!" Never
you complained and you are a grown woman Anastasia. You can eat more
when you're hungry!
Why is it my fault that you don't listen to your own body?
"Oh, to remind you, do I still have to fit into my clothes?"
Or should I listen to you moan when you pick me up?
"So I'm the bad guy for watching him so you don't forget."
about your obligations?
"This isn't about my responsibilities, Aaron!" This is something of a mania
for you!
You care too much about what I do and who I do it with. - My voice
I hate what I hate. I hate that he knows what he's doing
with me. "You want to control me and you're ruining our friendship by
doing so, a."
our partnership!
- When are you coming home? he says suddenly. - I miss you.
The sudden change of subject is like a slap in the face and
she reminds him that deep down, Aaron is just a lost boy.
"I can't go home until you properly understand what you've done and."
I can't believe you can change. – I get up from the chair and the
I get my bag on my shoulder. "I'm not able to at the moment."
trust you Aaron. But whether I like it or not, partners
we are, so I have to figure out how to deal with this somehow.
He nods without any emotion on his face.
"I know you believe everything Hawkins tells you, but come on."
why would I deliberately risk you getting hurt, Anastasia? –
He sighs, his shoulders slumping forward. "If you don't want to believe that
I care about you,
so good. But you know I care about myself, so why
would I jeopardize my own goals if you got hurt?If this whole situation
wasn't so miserable, it would even be funny
would be what he said. He's not wrong: the number one thing Aaron
Carlise does
he cares, he is himself.
"I have no idea why you do so many things." But not yet
means you don't even do them.
"I didn't like watching you skate with someone else." Honestly
I want to fix this, Stas. I swear.
"I believe you, but swearing isn't enough at the moment."
***

WHEN NOT SO long ago I entered with adrenaline bubbling in my veins

Nathan's car, I asked him if he wanted anything
to cultivate irresponsibility.
Throwing a party a week before the semester final exams is my version of a
irresponsible, as is playing a drinking game with a guy who
he is a head taller and forty-five kilos heavier than me. That
let's even our odds, Nate's drink is twice as strong as mine,
not that he would notice. Lucky for me, we play Never and as
it turns out nate spent most of his time in college trying to be new
gain experience.
After it's her turn, Mattie clears her throat for everyone
listen.
"I never… I accidentally called Faulkner while I was having sex."
"Oh shit," Nate mutters as he raises his glass to his lips.
He doesn't even look at me. - You do not want to know.
"Okay, okay," JJ rubs his palms together. "I never... I came a."
from a club with an older woman... - Several guys raise their glasses to their
lips, but
then he freezes when JJ tells them to wait – …what then
the next morning, seeing the family pictures on the wall, I realize that
I also overthrew his daughter before.
Nathan curses himself under his mustache, shaking his head the best
he glances at his friend, then raises his glass to his mouth again.
- Oh, my God! – The chin could even be on the floor, Lola mockingly
he giggles next to me, and Jaiden looks incredibly pleased with himself. I
I'm coming and I can't think of anything as scandalous as the guys, butI
have something that I know you will need to drink. "I've never…I fell out."
from a ski lift.
Nate snorts and raises his glass. Sitting next to him, Robbie is also drinking.
- You too? I giggle as he nods, then hiss as he swallows
his drink. Lola mixed it, so heaven only knows how strong it is.
"Yeah, the little filth dragged me down."
The game continues and of course the guys use this to
to air each other's laundry. Lola and I pull away a little,
to discuss the day's events and after about an hour
we spend our time bringing up one theory after another, and that's all
scold Aaron, I'll find Nate.
I find him in the lounge, where he is looking through two girls who
they try very hard to engage in conversation with him. As soon as I get
there
he pulls me into his lap and buries his face into my neck.
- Where have you been? I missed you.
"With a horse." How could I have missed you? You see me every single day.
Not even bothering to answer my question, I can feel it
he starts biting my ear.
"I don't remember why I'm not allowed to kiss you anymore, but."
I really, really want you. "He's so drunk his words are slurring."
but I don't remember either. "You're so beautiful, Stassie."
I roll over in his lap to face him and he groans from what
I know right away it wasn't exactly the best idea. His hand on my face
places and puckers his lips.
"Sex is going so well for us." Come, I'll remind you.
I'm about to take her to bed, but clearly not for that.
"Come on, drunk guy!"
It's like wrestling with a freaking unruly toddler, like
I lead him up the stairs. Upon reaching his room, Nathan immediately
begins to undress,
throwing his clothes back and forth. While I'm picking up your laundry, I
hear that
turns on the shower, and a moment later, “Last
Christmas” very loud, very fake version, drowned out by the rushing water
his voice.
A few minutes later, she comes out of the bath smelling strongly of honey
and strawberries.
which is how I know she used my shampoo. The towel hangs loosely
drops of water trickle down his hips and tight chest.
Good Lord.Not caring in the least that the water is flowing over him, he
trudges through
room and stops in front of me.
"Would you like to dance with me?"
- No. I want you to go to bed now and take a nap.
He looks genuinely shocked.
- Why not?
I push him down on the bed, and he lies down in a normal sleeping
position
in a not at all similar body position.
- What do you think?
He ponders this for a moment, then realizes.
"You're drunk and I'm sober, which means..." he sings while
crosses his arms. "Just no naked cuddles."
This is not entirely accurate, but you managed to get the point across.
"Bingo." Now position yourself normally, please.
Letting go of my request, he yawns next to his ear and closes his eyes.
"Drunks can't agree on things, Stas."
"Of course, little friend." - Panting, I lift his terrifyingly heavy leg,
and I try to put him back to normal. "Nate, would you?"
that... Okay, you've already dozed off. That's great.
When I rejoin him downstairs, Lo looks on with a wrinkled nose
on me.
"Why are you so sweaty?"
"Nathan is drunk and heavy."
"Have you ever managed to realize that you're in love?"
"I've known him for about two minutes, Lols." I'm not in love with anyone,
yet
we're not even dating - I answer, looking back over my shoulder,
that no one is listening.
"This thing has been going on for almost three months now, and out of
those three
you lived together almost the whole time. I think that makes it a bit
redundant
the whole date.
Lola has been teasing me for an hour and making wedding comments,
when he suddenly squealed, but in such a way that they shuddered.
"I was in such a hurry that I forgot to tell you!" Aaron Kitty Vincent
pokes!
I feel like some cartoon character with eyes
pops out of his head.
"Tell me you're just kidding.""I would never joke about something so
terrible." With my own two eyes
i saw Regardless, as soon as you move home, we'll have to burn the couch.
Rosie is still the cutest, but Kitty is worse. Much, much
worse.
Kitty was our friend in freshman year, when she also had her roommate,
Rosie
we met. Rosie Simone, my boss's daughter, and she was the one doing the
homework
recommended.
And as Lola says, Rosie is a fairy, but Kitty is a loon,
conceited bitch, and I don't call another woman easy
whore with heart. Scientists should investigate their friendship, because
I've known them for two years now and I still don't understand them.
Annoyingly they live in our building so we see them sometimes and
I can't get to know Rosie better without avoiding Kitty,
since they are inseparable.
Before I could even process the information that Lo threw at me,
my girlfriend puts her hand to her mouth and it's weird, mostly a splash and
makes a sound that can be described as a mixture of a snort.
Looking for the source of the chaos, I turn and immediately spot Nathan,
who cuts through the crowd in a pair of boxer shorts. His friends, also the
noise
searching for its source, they emerge from the lounge and all reach for their
phones.
Nate cuts purposefully across the room, and I wish the
he would head towards his friends.
I really, really wish it would go their way.
But no - he stands right in front of me with pursed lips, sleepy,
with an eye at half-mast.
"You weren't there when I woke up."
- Oh, my God. where are your clothes
"Come back to bed!" he whines loud enough for others too
they hear. "Just no mischief." Just cuddle with me.
"This is deadly," says Lola behind me, and when I look back at the
over my shoulder, I see that he also has his phone in front.
The guys are all watching the scene, and several of them are bending over
laughing.
One looks like he's about to drown. I reluctantly let it
Nathan pulls me towards the stairs as I give him a devilish look
towards the team.
"Thanks for the help guys.""But if you're doing so well on your own!" he
shouts at me
Robbie.
Arriving in his room, Nate throws himself down on the bed and I see him
in the meantime, he decided to tear down the pillow barricade. What am I
preparing for?
I crawl in next to him, he's already snoring, but he still feels that I'm there,
and pulls him close.
After three weeks of pillow separation, it feels so damn good to snuggle up.
I don't even bother keeping my eyes open.Chapter twenty-eight

NO THAN

MY PHONE IS FULL OF MESSAGES THAT I DON'T EVEN NEED

open it, because I've already opened one, and the rest are a thousand
percent,
it's the same.
A video of me drunkenly and practically naked
in the living room, and then, like some whiny, drunken baby,
try to carry Anastasia upstairs.
Stas is still sleeping curled up next to me, his soft breath
he tickles my chest, his brown locks decorate my biceps. On the floor
I see the remains of our pillow barricade scattered.
Although I don't remember it, I have a strong suspicion that it was me
I'm in charge.
I'm Amondo, the fact that we lie together is also my thing, but
based on the satisfaction on his face as he sleeps peacefully next to me, that
I think he is just as happy about our closeness as I am.
I usually never get drunk because my friends are too
they are irresponsible to be around others without regular adult supervision
to be However, last night a female person, who I assume cheated,
he made me join a drinking game.
For once, he took care of me, not the other way around, and that's it
this alone justifies my suspicions. I decide even before that
I face the worst that Stas would wake up and open the
group chat.

HOCKEY BUNNIES

JAYDEN JOHAL
Nate, when Stassie dares someone like thatto speak who is not him.

JOE CARTER
:'(
When Stas isn't there, when you wake up.
CHRIS HUDSON
:D
When he says it's nothing but hide and seek.

The next message comes from my sister Sasha.

SASH HAWKINS

I know how bad you are.

I'm also taking Maple Hills off my list of possible schools.

How do you even know

I saw it on the Maple Hills Gossip Hat

I'm going to need therapy now, thanks.

Sumptuous.

I'm already grumpy at you for it

you leave me alone at Christmas

Oh, how horrible

it can be for you too.
How are you going to handle it?
on the beach in St. Barts.
You're welcome anyway.

Oh, well.Enjoy your lonely Christmas, you dilis.

My father took my advice and offered it for Christmas

during break he takes us to St. Barts for vacation. I don't know who was
shocked
better: Sasha for getting what he wanted, or me for being a father
he listened to me.
I would be happy to spend Christmas with Sasha, but honestly I would
rather
I would rather swim among sharks in a seal suit than spend two weeks
with my father in a foreign country.
My phone vibrates as another message arrives from the team.
Well that's great. I became a meme.
Sometimes I make it too easy for them, but that's "too easy"
another level. I haven't had a girlfriend since I got to university.
Not that Stas is. Why am I panicking as if you can hear the
my thoughts? When I told him that I was kind of all-
I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person, I was mostly just kidding. To that
I didn't expect him to take the plunge and move in.
Now the thought of not living with me and the boys
it seems terribly strange, and I'm worried about where we're going to go
from here.
He says he wants to move back into his apartment as soon as he gets things
sorted out
With Aaron. This is hard for me to fathom, if only because he calls this
home
the House.
Anastasia thinks that by throwing ourselves into it so fiercely
into our relationship—yes, he said our "relationship"—
maybe we are doomed. Then he reminds her that it's the school year
in the end, I will move to Canada, and he will stay here alone. Not in this
one
he's wrong, but he still can't convince you that again
You should live with Aaron.
He starts squirming in my arms, which indicates that maybe it's time
I start pretending to snore, but then his eyes pop up and
he immediately gives me a grumpy look.
"Why are you staring like that, you little satyr?" "He doesn't even give me a
chance to answer." "Don't."
also try to tell me how beautiful I am. I can feel it dried up
drool on my face.
"I love it when you say dirty things to me."
"He's in a lot of trouble, sir," he says, yawning as he does all his members
stretches it out. I'm not sure if it's the hangover or thatit might be the fear
that they're about to blow my head off, but I'm in a convulsion
my stomach churns. - How is your head? You want me to do it for you
pancakes?
Well, fuck it. I didn't expect that.
"I put you in an awkward position, and now you want pancakes for me."
do?
"You put yourself in an awkward position." He giggles a line. "And
complete."
I'm sure your friends will be raving about it all day.
In fact, if you think about it, maybe for the rest of your life. You could say
pity-
I recommend pancakes. Would you like chocolate chips?
Up next to me, his hair disheveled like a lion's mane, his eyes
dreamy, but warming. I will not stop not to extend my hand to him,
touch her face and stroke it gently with my thumb, she is flushed
his cheek.
"What did I do to deserve you?"
He presses a quick kiss to my palm and then crawls over me
get off the bed.
"You are very kind and very pretty."
"What if a cougar attacks me and takes my face off?" Even so
will you like me
I can see her trying to hold back her laughter as her lips purse
squeezes into a line.
"You spend too much time with JJ." He always asks me such stupid things.
Um, will you be nice even without a face?
I'll think about that for a moment.
"Yes."
"Then I'll still like you."
We then continue this conversation in the kitchen, where everyone is now
impatiently waiting for Stassie's pancakes to be ready.
"What if he gets bitten by a shark, survives, gets this cool scar,
but after that he turns into a shark every full moon? Will you still like it? –
JJ asks, then hisses as he tries to sneak a pancake a
of the pile Stassie is building, and she slaps his hand.
– When it's a shark, it lives in the sea or lies in the bathtub, which
do i have to keep reloading and stuff like that?
JJ answers without a moment's hesitation.- In the sea. You just have to
take it out to Venice Beach before it goes down
Sun.
"Yeah, I'll still like you."
He puts the pancakes on a plate and distributes them, then his own portion
covered with strawberries and syrup. Protein pancakes are his new
obsession, because so
you no longer have to endure the disgusting taste of protein shakes.
Henry is strangely quiet while Robbie, JJ and Lola are more and
comes up with new imagined situations to find out where the limit is.
Henry
usually doesn't stay quiet for long.
"So the way I see it, Stassie, is that as long as Nathan is nice to you,
until then, there's nothing you don't like.
Stas shrugs.
"Um, I guess?" I do not know. I'm not really worried about that
would join the mafia, or that he would have to do it for the rest of his life
wearing a clown outfit, I mean, it's all fiction, right?
"Sounds to me like you're in love with him." "Everyone's eyes."
rounds out, and the guys suddenly turn their eyes to Henry, who
with a mouth full of pancakes, he looks around at them in confusion.
"What?"
It feels good that Stas would like me even if my hands were sticky
in place? Of course. I want Henry to make her public
while eating pancakes as we try to drag this thing out until January?
No.
Henry takes a sip of water and clears his throat.
"From the way everyone is staring at me, I feel like it's something."
it might have been something I shouldn't have said.
"These pancakes are just divine, Stassie," JJ says aloud.
"The best," I mutter as I stuff a bite into my mouth.
Stas is very focused on his strawberries, but he doesn't know her reddened
face
hide.
Interesting.
***

– NATE, THE TRACK IS NOT FOR THIS.

"We're not even going to the field."
Brady said we need to do something about our trust issues,
so we will do that too. And we call them trust issues because they are
onewe are a team. When I say Stassie's fear is the problem, I mean her
I blame him and give him something to punish himself for.
"You can't miss training just because you're hungover"
crush it.
"I just ate three donuts with JJ, so I'm gone."
hungover. And we don't miss anything. Meg Brady took it too.
"What are we doing?"
"We learn how to trust each other."
The rest of the ride is silent as Stas just sits and sulks about it
I refuse to tell him where we are going. Not like
that would bother me - I like it when you pinch your lips and nose
frowns when something bothers him.
I immediately feel his eyes on me as I park at the university
at his swimming pool.
"Shall we swim?" Is this just a joke?
"The whole swim team is in Philadelphia for some kind of competition."
The entire
pool is ours. I'll prove to you that I can handle anything
that you just throw at me.
It's a great plan in theory, but the way his face turns,
my heart sinks.
"I don't even have a bathing suit."
"I took Lola home at lunchtime, and she gave me your stuff."
Everything you could possibly need is here and you'll be fine.
"You say so," he grumbles as he unbuckles his seat belt.
I've been waiting for him outside the dressing room for fifteen minutes now
and still no sign of him.
I'm just starting to worry that he called an Uber and got off when
he finally pops his head out.
"When you asked Lola to give me my bathing suit, you gave it to her."
any clues?
"I asked you to bring something you can go to the pool in,
Why?
Stas blows and rolls his eyes.
"Well, just so you know, this bikini for the last time on spring break."
I wore it in Palm Springs.
His head disappears, then he steps out from behind the door, and I start to
suffocate
nothing. In the air? On my own saliva? I don't know, but it sure is
I can not breathe.Calling what she's wearing a bikini is a strong
exaggeration. It's all just a couple
a tiny piece of material that then covers nothing. It spins and yes, it is
her whole ass is out, only a very tiny, pink string is hanging
between his buttocks.
"Did you seriously think Lo was going to give me something practical?"
My mouth is like the Sahara and I find it hard to swallow. The
since the beginning of our agreement, he always dresses in the bathroom,
so since then
I haven't seen this much exposed skin since the last time we showered
together.
Seriously, she had more clothes on the last time
we went to bed like now.
"Um." - Well groomed. "Um, why don't we go into the pool then?"
Stas tries not to laugh at me, and I try not to laugh
to stare, but that doesn't go over well with either of us. I'm so fucking glad
to him that the swimming team is not here at the moment. I'm not sure
that
could I mix one for all the guys who just look at it, but still
I would try very hard.
The swimming pool has a couple of different pools, and we went to the
shallowest one
we are heading. The goal is for Stassie to believe I won't drop her
while there is the knowledge that gives him security that he is the worst
just swallow some chlorinated water.
"Well great," he moans after I tell him my plan while
descends into the water from the side. "So now it's not just because of
that."
worry that you will drop me, but also that I will drown.
"I won't drop you, and I would never let you drown." This now
repeat so I know you listened to me - I say, stepping next to him.
"You won't drop me."
"And?"
"You would never let me drown."
"That's right." So, what do we do first?
I have never been so focused on anything in my life. Even the water
provided with extra help, so far all the movements that one by one
we all practiced about ten times, it was terribly easy.
The pool is deep enough to give Stas that a
sense of security you need while still being able to
we work together despite our difference in height. Exactly
he just informed me that then the more complicated movements can come,
why?
his enthusiasm immediately jumped."Lean forward and push my body
upwards starting from your hips"
he says as he places his hand on my hip bone. "My face will be on your
shoulder"
like this. Then clasp your arms under my ribs like this, and lean over
back. Almost like you're countering.
I do exactly as he says - I slowly lean back against his body
he emerges from the water, his legs perfectly extended. From this position
you get a great view of her ass, but I'm also happy with the lift.
He lowers his body while I hold the position until
until he says I can stop. His smile is almost contagious,
and I am so relieved that it seems to be working
the thing. We repeat the movement a few more times, until
Stas is not satisfied with it.
"And what comes next, Coach?"
He puts his fingers to his lips, his face flushes, then he shakes his head.
"I don't want to show you."
"I promise I won't drop you."
He slaps his hand on the surface of the water and looks everywhere but at
me
no.
"It's not just about that." Um, I'm a little worried about it
I will flash between my legs in front of you. Because I have to spread my
legs wide
while I'm over your head
I've seen him do this move before. I'm an Amondo, that's understandable
concern, considering how tiny the floss-like thing is
bikini bottoms.
"There's nothing you can show me that I haven't seen before."
earlier. You've already sat on my face, Anastasia. I'm a big fan of
of your work - probably your biggest fan.
"Oh, shit," he mutters under his breath, then turns to face his back
stand for me - Are you ready? – He clasps our hands together and counts
down
from three. I push it up into the air and then stretch my arm while
he spreads his legs. She wobbles a little before starting even tighter
to grip.
"Don't panic, I will." I'll catch you before you hit the water
baby. Concentrate! "I hear you muttering something to yourself, but I don't
understand
what does he say and then a few seconds later the shaking goes away and
so does Stassie
he starts laughing. He lowers his legs and I slowly lower him back into the
water.
"Nice job, you're very good."We practice this a few more times, until
Stassie doesn't
you see we've perfected it, and every time I put it back in the water,
I can feel his fear easing.
"You really are very strong, you know that?" he says as if he has
surprised by this. I won't go into the topic with him, because I know for
sure
he weighed himself in the morning and now is not the best time.
"Why don't we do the raise that was dropped?" that
which one worries you the most?
He floats in the water in front of me while he explains to me the intricacies
of the move-
his sin, but he won't let me touch him. I also sink that the water is the
up to his shoulders, and I listen as he explains which hand belongs where.
I can hear the nervousness in his voice, and I have some idea that it is
how much worse it would be if he had hit the ice too.
"Anastasia, listen to me!" I won't drop you, but even if I drop you, a
you will splash in the water. It's the worst thing that could happen—
is that your hair will be wet and you'll swallow some of that disgusting
Maple Hills
from pool water.
"I know, stupid, sorry." I trust you, I swear.
"Come on, enough of the nonsense." Let's do it! – we take the starting
position, then
before Stas has a chance to change his mind, it's already my head
it is also above and balanced on one of my hands. Although that's all
I have one hand on her hip, I can still feel her shaking and hear her
how quickly he breathes. "Breathe deeply!"
"Get off, I don't like that."
"Try to take it off, Stas." Make fun of us. move a lot
as much as you can.
"You're ridiculous!"
- Just do it!
He mutters a curse, then starts to thrash over my head.
It only takes me a second to use my other hand as well
put it on his hip, and from then on it doesn't matter how much he hobbles,
it's not going anywhere. I'll let him fumble for about ten more seconds,
trying to free myself, then I slowly let him back into the water in front of
me,
while still firmly holding her hips.
- You see? You are safe.
His belly is pressed against mine, he hugs my neck tightly with his arms, he
is in a hurry
the air."What did I do to deserve you?"
I press my lips to his forehead as I try to figure out what it is
is the best answer to your question. There isn't one, so I have to
settle for something else.
"I don't know, but I'd like you too, even if it was a cancer."
in the place of your hand.Chapter twenty-nine

ANAST ASIA

I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY to say goodbye to studying

and for the exams.
The guys' house is undergoing a transformation to make it so
The best Santa workshop in Maple Hills, which is Robbie's dream.
Compared to
in a basic situation, how relaxed, amazingly this whole workshop
thing... for which he alone is responsible anyway.
According to JJ, an old man trapped in a young guy's body and
because of this, he is free to have grumpy as his default setting. According
to Henry
Robbie needs an excuse to be outside of hockey practice
can also bounce them. According to Lola, Robbie has a dominant
personality,
and it's fucking sexy.
I'm not sure which one is right, but when
in the morning so much mistletoe arrived that it barely fit in the house, I
decided
I'd rather not be underfoot until they decide where to go.
Lola and I have been dancing to Christmas music for a while now, and our
heads off at the same time
we are scratching where to put everything. Finally I had to
to give up because it was simply too much. Rather, I decided to return to
the
to my other task, namely to stare at my laptop
trying to decide if I should book a flight to Seattle for Christmas.
Entering the front door, Henry stops and takes in the new and
perfected living room.
"You're both too slow." We would have finished with JJ.
Just barely, but managed to get away from the ornament he throws at Lo,
so that's it
He finds Robbie in the chest as he rolls over the threshold.
"Thanks, baby." I missed you too.
"Honey, I'm home!" JJ shouts as he bursts through the door
in his suit.
They were all in Utah for a game and had to sleep there. Come on
Nathan can't play, but he can still hang out with them and watch the
games. Although theended up in a room with Mattie and Bobby, so I guess
regretted leaving. The guys tried to smuggle some chicks into the
into their room, so Nate woke up to Faulkner screaming the
their heads.
Nate flashed me a beautiful smile as he slung his bag over his shoulder
he walks into the apartment. I miss having my leg on his shoulder. Wide
he has shoulders that look great in his suit. Every bit of it is great
he paints in his suit. What comes to mind is how tight the pants are
on his thigh when he falls down on the sofa next to me with a smile on his
face.
"Stop undressing me with your eyes, Allen."
You're right - I'm practically drooling, and not even discreetly
I do.
"I'm sorry, you just look amazing in your suit." From which
and interesting thoughts are running through my head.
"We can put your thoughts into practice if you want," he quips.
as he picks me up and puts me on his lap. Take a look at my laptop screen,
then he looks at me sympathetically. "You still can't get me to."
yourself?
"I've been trying for an hour." – Nate gently rubs my leg,
while I'm already explaining, I do want to go home.
You know how I feel about it because we talked at length
about him, and he knows I'm just wasting time, but luckily he doesn't talk
about it.
"Why don't you come with me to Colorado?" he asks when again
I start listing my objections. "My family won't be there."
You can skate on the lake in the back garden and you can use the spa as
much
in the resort as much as you want. Tell your parents that
competition preparation.
– Why are you looking for flights from Seattle?
"I thought maybe we could go up to your parents for a few days, and then
we did."
we could fly to Eagle County via Denver. Or you could go
alone, then you could come down to me, or what do I know. I think so
you should visit your parents. I honestly think you will be prepared if
the new year is coming, you haven't seen them.
The thought of taking Nate to my parents is terrifying
it seems serious, but somehow the raging inside of me dissipates
nervousness.
"Let me talk to mom first, okay?""Okay, but don't waste time." Santa is
coming after all.

ON THE LIST OF THINGS WHY my appointment diary is so great

the fact that I can manage Christmas in an orderly manner with its help,
the list
is near the top.
Throughout the year, I write down everything that only people mention
that
they want, then at Christmas I just narrow down the list. Well, this
it works for everyone, with one exception.
"What do you want for Christmas?"
- Nothing.
"Nate!" I snap. "Tell me what you want for Christmas or
you will get a stunner.
"I'm not asking for anything."
"Nathan!"
We've been arguing about this for days, I'm running out of time
whatever i buy. Everyone else was such an easy case, but Nate never
betrays
nothing, so nothing to write down.
I bought new pencils and paint for Henry and a couple for Robbie
hockey team stuff. JJ doesn't celebrate Christmas so I paid
ourselves to a Vietnamese cooking class, after which we enjoy it so much
cooking together, let's continue our culinary adventures in the New Year.
But I have nothing for Nathan.
We never rebuilt our pillow barricade, so it's not that hard
to climb on top of him and demand that he give me all his attention.
"Please tell me what you want!" I want to buy you something that
it makes me happy.
"You already make me happy." Let me only have you.
"But I'm already yours," I whine. "And not even who."
you can pack.
"I could unpack it for you if you let me..." he whispers in a raspy voice as he
does so
his hand slips under my shirt to tickle my belly.
I feel him start to harden between my thighs, and everything is confusing
the thought of factors and conflicts of interest escapes my mind.
If we look at things realistically, four weeks is not a long time at all, but
the more I get to know him, the more I want to climb him like onetree.
There's something about it when you find out that it's hard-bound,
muscular
hockey player's favorite movie is Coco.
It does such interesting things to your stomach.
When I hold my arm up, Nate sits up and pulls the t-shirt over the
above my head. His brown eyes darken, and the fire of his gaze sweeps
through
on me as my spine begins to tingle with anticipation. My shirt is a
my bra follows, and Nate immediately licks it, already tense
my nipple. Moving up my chest, he kisses my skin
up to my mouth while holding my face with both hands.
"Are we breaking the rules?" he asks, his mouth almost to mine
affected. There's barely a breath of distance between us, and I swear it has
been for weeks
I wasn't that happy.
- Of course.
His mouth finally touches mine, his tongue excitedly exploring mine,
while my hips, as if awakened to self-awareness, tighten against his. THE
every swing of my hips is so beautiful that it can
I would become your addict.
"Heavens, I missed you so much." – He playfully bites my lower lip, his
voice
quiet and tense. "I won't last long if you do this to me."
"Tell me what you want for Christmas or I won't get it at all."
let you enjoy yourself,” I coo as I reach between the two of us and grab her
him through his boxers. His shocked giggles immediately come from deep
within
she moans as I rub her up and down. "Come on, Hawkins, come on."
just a small Christmas present.
- I do not know! "My back hits the mattress as he turns us over,
and his hard body towers over mine. His lips are carried by the
on my body, he licks and kisses every part of me,
until he reaches that wet spot on my panties. His eyebrows furrowed in
annoyance
she looks up at me from between my thighs, pulling the lace down.
"That's on the way."
The moment his lips touch mine, I'm already flying, my back
he arches and rises from the bed, thrusting my hips into his face.
Desperate, demanding little screams fill the room, which Nate is one with
he doesn't care at all as he slowly, comfortably pleasures himself into her
mouth
sniffing my throbbing clit. I can not stand. My body is flooded with
pleasure,
while a satisfied, vibrating grunt erupts from Nate's throat as his tongue
he glides into me, and I fall into the depths, calling out his name.You'd
think that would be enough for him to give in, but no.
He wraps his arms around my thighs, immobilizing me while still
it tightens as I try to avoid the oversensitive and overexcited panting
to pull away from it. The feeling is too much and I swear if my back is even
better
rises from the mattress, my spine will break in two. For weeks, only the
I had fun with a shower head, so now it's like he's stuck his head between
my legs
and moaning merrily eats me up, more than I can handle.
"Just one more, baby."
And of course my body does exactly what Nate tells it to do.
"Good girl," he coos as he climbs up my body and sweeps my hair aside
from my wet forehead. I pull off his boxers, letting his tail show
jump up and I run my hand up and down on it while I watch it
his eyes widen.
"Just tell me what you want for Christmas, Nathan."
He slowly moves his cock back and forth in my grip.
"How are you still able to think about Christmas when."
did you just enjoy it twice in a row?
"So that it's important for me to surprise you with something nice."
"I only want you, Anastasia." You can't buy me anything like that
which would be better than these four weeks I spent with you. Give me
more of this
more and I'll be happy.
I pull his mouth to mine - I feel myself on his tongue. Not to mention
i get How could it be otherwise? This guy is every single one
dispels my negative thoughts about monogamy. Why would I want to?
to ever give myself to anyone else, why would I want to be with anyone
share it?
Nate kisses me, takes my face in his hands, and dedicates it to me
every drop of your care and attention. Towards the bedside table
reaches out before it suddenly falls out of me:
"You don't have to pull rubber... if you don't want to." I take a pill and
I don't sleep with anyone else. I trust you,” I take a deep breath
– and I hope you trust me too.
I don't think I've ever seen him fail to speak. Finally,
after staring at me with his mouth open for half a minute or so, he sighs
his throat.
- Are you serious?"Yes." I've never done it with anyone without rubber
before, but no
I feel like I'm being forced to do it.
"I haven't done it without tires either." Oh mom… screw it. "In the
direction."
he asserts himself, while I'm about to die of anticipation. "You sure are."
in it?
"Please, we've waited long enough."
The way Nate slides naked into me is second to none
I have been part of it so far. Everything feels ten times as intense and
everything
I can feel every part of it. Pressing her face against my shoulder, she gasps
for air,
letting me get used to the feeling.
"Oh, heavens." This is so damn good. Anastasia. jeez and you're wet
you are so ready for me
He pulls his hips back, then suddenly thrusts them forward again before the
room
the sound of skin slapping against each other fills it. I feel like I'm about to
burst into flames
I would explode and every nerve would tingle. I want more.
"Hard and fast," I whisper as I wrap my legs around him and
I lock my ankles at his waist.
"I won't last long." He groans. "It feels so good." Each
I need some self-control.
Using my legs, I lift my hips and slide up and down it,
jerking my hips every time I touch his balls.
I want you to press me into bed, I want to see you lose the
head, but Mr. Magnanimous is more interested in the shivering bankrupt
crowd
make me Again.
"I don't care," I tell him honestly. "Give it everything you can."
there is
He slides his hand under me, then digs his fingers into my shoulder and
holds on
into me I try to hide the look of joy on my face, but Nate
he notices as his lips curl into a sly half-smile.
"Put your arm around me and remember, you asked!"
No one can say Nathan Hawkins doesn't know how
to follow orders.
He pulls up with his hands as he thrusts his hips forward - every single one
I scream into his mouth from the thrust, and dig my nails into his shoulder.
My leg
he trembles, and every time he penetrates deeply into me, my back arches,
a
and my thighs tighten around his waist.
"Nathan...""I know, baby." I know. "He rests his forehead against mine, our
nose."
touching each other as our mouths desperately press against each other. -
Look
just for yourself, what a fucking good girl you wear.
"I'm so close," I scream with one hand on the back of his head
clutching while the other rubs wildly between my legs.
"Whose pussy is this, Anastasia?" he asks gasping for breath as the
his thrusts become increasingly rough and irregular.
- Oh, my God. Yours. Only yours.
"Enjoy it for me." Let me feel you!
"Nathan, oh shit…"
My whole body jerks wildly, tenses up, freezes and
melts - all at once. I don't know which feeling to focus on
so in the end I decide to waste it. Nathan's body on mine
he falls, his chest heaves wildly, his body trembles as I feel it pulsate
and it makes me cringe.
"Damn it."
We lie there for minutes, speechless in shock, while
he is still hard inside me and we kiss sluggishly. I don't know, it could be
anything feels better than this, how could I ever get better than this
with less.
When I can finally breathe normally again and have an orgasm
trailing fog begins to rise, I run my hands through his hair.
"I couldn't get you to tell me what you want for Christmas."
– I grumble because I'm disappointed in myself for letting him charm me
with his tail and forget about it.
Nate snorted, his breath brushing against my neck where his head was
he rests.
"I think you just gave me my Christmas present."
Merry Christmas, I guess.Chapter Thirtieth

NO THAN

"I WILL NOT BUY HER fucking underwear," I declare for the umpteenth
time.
"Good day, can I help you with something?"
We all turn to the polite voice that has confused the world
his most pointless debate. The salesgirl looks at us like she's a ghost
seen, and I think we're actually a little scary when we do
we stare.
The girl's face is flushed, but she does her best to cover her lips
maintain eye contact with a friendly smile. I don't envy anyone who
forced to work in commerce at this time of the year.
"Yes, he can." Help settle this dispute please! JJ says as he does
push me out of the way. "Don't you buy pajamas from time to time?"
Is it a fucking bad idea for your cork barn? The girl's eyes widen slightly,
but
he quickly pulls himself together. "You don't think she'd be any happier."
something like that? "He's holding up the lace that you've been wearing for
a quarter of an hour."
we argue and he just stares at her, waiting for her to come to his side.
I box with such force on my biceps that it is beyond me.
"Don't call him my scumbag." It's not.
"You're right, Jaiden," Henry says with a smug little smirk.
I know I'm going to be very angry with him.
"You can't call Stas your douchebag when it's been a month or so."
he doesn't even let her near him. At this point, it's just his barn.
Of course, I didn't tell anyone about the night before. Not today either
from the morning. Which I spent by putting my hand on his mouth
I squeezed her so she wouldn't wake anyone up while she almost flattened
her
my bare dick. Based on what Henry thinks I grabbed the
in the friend zone, we seem to be getting better at being discreet.
After all, we spent the previous evening - and this morning - thinking that
we make up for the weeks during which we behaved properly, I'm done
surprised that I even have the strength to walk around the plaza.The girl
snorts loudly and puts her hand to her mouth in shock.
After that, however, he quickly pulls himself together and charms the
customer service representative back
smile on his face.
"I'm sorry, underwear is a rather, um, intimate gift, so if not."
sure, I agree that pajamas are the safer option for you
for.
"How about I buy her some underwear?" JJ coos as he picks up the
panties that match the corset and holds them in front of Hen.
Henry has been staring at the salesgirl ever since she walked in,
and from here on, I think it will be difficult for the girl to beat the
from his head as Hen stands there with lacy underwear at her crotch.
Henry
she blushes and pushes JJ away while something is very wrong with
Christmas
with an appropriate epithet referring to him under his mustache.
I'll scratch the beard on my chin and give you a blow, mainly because
right now, I could be lying with my cock all the way into Stassie
in bed, yet here I am, at Maple Hills Plaza, with these two
with wild fowl.
"I'm afraid Faulkner will be even more mad at me if I rip the."
arms.
I look again at the hanger full of pajamas next to us, and that
I think the one in my hand is the best. Stas specifically said he wanted to
some nice pajamas to wear around the boys. It doesn't strain the
boys in my house, but sometimes it happens when a glass goes down
for water in a t-shirt, other hockey players he doesn't know that well are
there too
they are playing video games and it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
Besides, if I wanted to buy her underwear, JJ and I certainly wouldn't
I would do it with Henry.
I can hear Henry terrorizing the poor girl—accusing her of
flinched or something.
"Leave him alone, Hen!" I grunt as I grab something
floral print pajamas and I'm sticking to what I've already picked out.
I'll leave them to make fools of themselves, and I'll go
to take a look at the nearby offer. When I return I hear
as Henry tells her about the big red bow on our door,
and she brushes off that her roommates are attention-seekers, to which I
shrug
one, but Jaiden seems to be downright offended by it, which is all
makes it funnier.She lets out a heavy sigh.
"Okay."
"Okay, so I'll see you later then?" Henry says strangely
in a cheerful voice. I discreetly glance at JJ, who is already staring with a
surprised expression
me. We don't usually witness the magic or whatever
better, we're forced to simply watch the women throw it at Henry
themselves.
This girl is pretty, so I can see why Henry is interested in her—
tall and slim, long, silky brown hair, big brown eyes, full lips,
and has glowing, tan skin. I'd say it's just Henry's case, but really
I don't know what his case is either, because I never saw him twice with
the same a
with a girl, and each conquest looks completely different.
- What is your name? Hen shouts as she tries to run away.
"Uh." "Poor girl is probably figuring out what to say right now."
– Gen.
"Hey Gen!" – we shout with JJ, ignoring the other customers
how strange he looks at us.
Another ten minutes later, I decide I can't decide, so,
Much to JJ's annoyance, I buy both pajamas. The two guys
I'll send it to the front of the store while I pay, and as soon as we're done,
I'll go home. Stas
I already bought your main gifts, so I think I'm fine.
I walk up to the cash register and put the pajamas on the counter, then
immediately
they are shocked to see summer is the one serving.
"Hello, you stranger," he says politely as he pulls her closer
the pajamas and scan the barcode. "To your sister?"
- No. "What is he to me?" "To Anastasia."
- HE! I saw the video, but I didn't know you were together... - says a
tapping on a cash register.
"We…um, stunning girl." "I hand him my credit card."
while I still don't know what to call Anastasia
in front of others. "Are you coming to the party later?" I think Henry just
did
forced one of your colleagues to come.
"It won't work tonight, sorry." - He puts the pajamas in a bag,
then he hands it to me and it's all so awkward. Not that at all
Summer I know. - We are going to mass at Cami's church with her family,
Briar is flying to New York tomorrow for Christmas. Your plane leaves
early.
so we don't even drink."I thought Briar was from England?"
- Also from there, but his parents moved to New York last year. His two
brothers go there
to school. Her younger sister Daisy, on the other hand, is at Maple Hills.
- Wow! I had no idea that his family was so big.
Forcing a smile on her face, Summer nods.
"I put the block in the bag." I hope Anastasia likes them.
Merry Christmas, Nate!
"You too, Summer."
Well, that was unnecessarily embarrassing.
By the time we get home, the house looks like Santa threw up
would be.
I think Lola added extra alcohol to the eggnog because she's Stassie
he is in extra good spirits as he dances back and forth in the lounge a
in his leprechaun. Although she calls it a leprechaun, it's actually a tiny,
green dress with a pair of leprechaun shoes she bought at the costume
shop.
Robbie randomly stacked glasses and mugs with me in the Twister
carpet, and instead of helping, Henry has been with Stas and
He hangs out with Lola. I've done something before that I'm sure now
that it was a mistake: I told the girls that Henry was a Christmas present
tried on a girl while shopping. They are totally into this now
by clicking on this.
Anastasia immediately started asking about something Daisy was with
I'm supposed to have stopped Henry from having sex. Already that
afternoon
second time I heard the name Daisy. Henry just wasn't checking with
Briar's sister
add the juice? If so, I didn't remember meeting the
with a girl. Then it suddenly dawned on me—it was months ago when
Henry threatened to steal my girl.
JJ shows up with said new girl plus one of her friends and
I can see Stassie trying not to stare at them. Robbie
climbs onto the carpet and grinds the
throat to get the company's attention.
I take a sip of my beer - Robbie is in his element when he is
he can be the center of attention, I love watching him at this time.
"I welcome everyone to the first official drunken Twister game." THE
the rules of the game are very simple: if you touch it, you drink it.
Bobby elbows me in the side and then exclaims,
"The title of your sex video!" – Then Rob introduces him.– The game is
over when someone falls, takes off their hand or the
feet off the carpet or refuses to drink. Stassie, JJ, and Joe are already in,
we need two more people, Robbie continues.
Henry places his glass next to me on the windowsill.
"I'll play."
Stassie points at me and yawns that You, however, before voluntarily
could I apply, JJ exclaims:
"Gen plays too!"
The poor girl is completely distraught as she turns to face everyone.
I can hear Mattie and Kris gushing about how sexy Gen is
however, he sets his sights on one person who reciprocates this. No
i can tell if jj is playing cupid now or hoping gen
then she gets tangled up with him so that she can use it to pull Henry's
brain.
Robbie claps his hands together and fucks her like she's in training
I would be with Brady. Until I spent some time away from it, I didn't even
notice
I thought Robbie was a complete mini-Faulkner. And he was clearly stuck
in it
a dash of Brady too.
"Stas, Joe, you stand on this side!" Henry, you go there with JJ and
Gen. Everyone take off your shoes and, um, maybe stretch a little? No
I know too.
Stassie, with a wide, drunken grin on her face, lunges at me. He kicks her
his elf shoes, then wraps his arms around my neck and chuckles to himself
he presses his mouth to mine.
"Protect my shoes with your life!"
He won't even let me answer, but jumps back to the
to the mat and make out with Joe. If everyone didn't know by now, what?
is going on between the two of us, well, they will know after tonight. From
that moment on
since the party started, one way or another, we've almost grown together.
THE
our friends don't care about that, although I think some money has
changed hands a
following bets.
I turn my attention back to Robbie.
"Can you not be bossy?"
"Shut up, Hawkins," he retorts, rolling his eyes. Already
for about fifteen years my main entertainment has been to pull Robbie's
brains and
I have no intention of stopping this now.
Robbie finally stops arguing with me and starts the game. Business
it turns out that all the girls have to do is move their legs, but Joe and
JJvery, very confused.
"Stas, right hand is yellow!" Robbie shouts over JJ and Joe's fight.
The moment Stassie bends over, I understand why it started
all my friends at that moment staring at me that Robbie
he called out what he had to do.
As soon as Stas places his hand on one of the yellow circles, Henry blows.
"Anastasia, please get your ass out of my picture."
"It's not even in your picture!"
Her ass is definitely in her picture. And how the situation is still
to make matters worse, her clothes are just enough to cover her - if only a
little longer
it slides up, all the suction marks on her inner thighs will be visible
I left.
"Nathan!" Henry shouts as he stretches his neck looking for me
in audience. "What is your blood pressure at the moment?"
Yeah, the kid knows me.
"Pretty tall, man."
- You see? Because your ass is in my mouth. You will kill him.
The game continues until Henry raises his hand a
off the carpet to flirt with Gen, and Anastasia immediately
she bounces back to me to get her shoes back.
Standing on tiptoe, he gently touches his lips to mine, then softly like this
speak:
"My legs hurt, but I want you so much."
Yes, Henry is right. This chick will be the death of me.

I LOST MY LEFT.
While I went to the bathroom, the guys started sniffing Henry,
who disappeared into the laundry room with Gen. The indiscreet snooping
scared him
poor girl and dashed Henry's chances as he swore
revenge on all of us. I've never been so happy about that
I'm missing something.
I don't have what it takes to hook the
my horn with Henry because of Anastasia. If I had been there when the
guys
he was prevented from taking Gent upstairs and not after that
If I could find Stas, then Henry's room would be the first place I would
look.There's nothing sexual between them, but I seriously think
Anastasia would gladly marry him on a platonic basis.
Chatting with a few people I haven't seen in a while,
I do my best to avoid it
questions, why I didn't play, while I looked at the
I'm looking for my girlfriend.
Stas finally appears at the bottom of the stairs, where he stands and stares
in the room. His outfit is no longer visible as it is a Titans t-shirt
wears that almost engulfs his body.
It feels weird watching him from across the room, but he's so fucked
it's so beautiful that I couldn't take my eyes off it even if I wanted to.
Finally, he spots me in the kitchen, his mouth in a breathtaking smile
drags on, and the satisfaction I feel when I realize it, me
searched for, incomprehensible.
Stas is halfway across the living room toward me when a pair of arms
wraps around him, stopping him, and an unpleasant feeling begins to grip
the
my stomach
The guy buries his face into Stassie's neck and my blood pressure spikes
again.
Do I even have the right to be jealous? I mean, Stas is not my girlfriend,
but still there is something between us. I'll always be a little jealous Ryan
To Rothwell? Maybe, but I hope not.
I know Olivia broke up with him. Anastasia had coffee with Ryan
yesterday,
and the guy told him that Olivia had her own problems and a leg
he was always at the door. Do you think you can get it back now?
Anastasia?
I try not to disturb them, but it's hard for me to stay in one place.
It's hard for me to go against my instincts, but it never ended well if
I tried to force monogamy on him. I think Ryan is whispering in his ear
something, as Stassie suddenly takes her arm off him and backs away from
him
big step.
I can't hear what they're saying over the music, but I can see it's Rothwell
ass-drunk and take Stas wherever he can. Stassie gives him a friend
a hug, hopefully because that's the end of their conversation, Ryan
and leans down to plant a kiss on the top of her head. When Stas backs
down again
a step, Ryan looks up and notices that I'm watching them - half-heartedly
he scratches his chin and then gives me a shy smile.I'm still watching Ryan
half-heartedly shuffling when I feel
as Stassie wraps her arms around my waist.
"So you saw me." Why didn't you come to my rescue? _ grunts,
as he stands on tiptoe and presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth.
"I didn't know you needed rescuing." "With his big blue eyes."
he looks straight at me, furrowing his brows. "I know he's a good friend of
yours."
I didn't want you to think I was immersing myself in your stuff.
"Um, okay, Mr. Diplomatic." He wraps his arms around my neck. –
Save me next time. I love Ryan, he's a great friend, but he's the only one
the guy i want to hug you is you.
Fuck it.
- I bought.
"Ryan likes to pickpocket and he's drunk, but I put him in his place." Don't
be mad at him
that's why! I think he's sad for Liv.
I am so relieved. I would have been able to at that moment
to storm off that Rothwell has touched her—or worse, can
I would have stormed over to them and caused a scene. I could deduct
would have all kinds of stupid conclusions, with which I could then screw
everything up
would be. I brush Stassie's hair out of her face and tuck it behind her ear,
then I place my hands on both sides of his neck and start to stroke gently,
as he looks up at me.
- What did you say to him?
"That I'm with you, and you can't go back and forth, because you don't."
I want you to think bad. Is that okay? Sorry, I didn't know what
I could say.
He rocks nervously on his feet, still wearing the elf shoes.
I lean down to put my lips on his and enjoy it,
as his tongue rubs against mine.
"Sounds perfect to me."Chapter thirty one

ANAST ASIA

SITTING BY THE CAMP FIRE always reminds me of when I was little

we went camping.
My parents put every extra dollar they had into skating,
so when I was little, I never went on exotic luxury vacations. But
Every summer we went camping for a few days at Snoqualmie
Hell, and I loved it.
While I was helping dad light the campfire, mom was helping me
he prepared everything for the s'mores, and then we sat by the fire all night
and we played cards.
Not quite the campfire in the backyard of the huge Maple Hills house
it is like the wilds of Washington, but the company is pleasant. The party
of course it got louder the faster they got drunk
people, so the guys thought it would be a good idea to go out
to the yard, to sit in the comfortable camp chairs, to drink beer, and old
matrons
talking about stupid things.
Although it wasn't that long ago that I was rolling down the halves one
after the other,
by now I'm starting to sober up, thanks to which, however, I'm sleepy and
I lack love. Robbie is very pleased with his new toy, but
decided that next time he would take out the glasses filled with soda and
puts another person on the mat. I didn't even know there was a soft drink
there,
because all I got was tequila.
I'm glad Henry gave up on the game, because he's seriously sick
I was on the edge. When I managed to exchange a few words with him
after the Gen mishap,
said that he immediately took his hand off the carpet because he was afraid
that the
girl will randomly flash. I then asked what was going on with me,
and with me flashing by accident? To that he said yes anyway
it's only a matter of time until it happens, and it probably should
put on some pants.He is in a bad mood because when he tried to find his
mistletoe
daughter, the girl and her girlfriend didn't even have a cool place anymore.
Not even the
he couldn't even find out his number, or, you know, his last name.
The crackling of the fire calms me, but so much so that it is even possible
to imagine
that I will fall asleep here. Lying on Nathan's lap doesn't help either
curled up under a blanket while running up and down with one hand
he rubs my leg and hugs me like a baby with the other.
It sounds weird, but it's ridiculously comfortable. Nate is laughing with his
friends
and talks about sports while sipping his beer. It's constantly like that
mentions athletes I've never heard of, which helps that
turn off my brain.
Every now and then he glances down at me and kisses my forehead,
checking that I'm okay
I'm lying quite comfortably and I'm not cold. Then pull it tighter
puts the blanket on me and makes sure that nothing is hanging out from
under it.
Something warm, huge feeling fills my heart when this
I'm close to the team. It is both familiar and unfamiliar – which
I know it's a contradiction, but the feeling is just as precise as if
it would have been designed especially for me. It's a feeling you've never
had before
I knew I needed it until guys burst into my life
three months ago.
With each passing second, it's getting harder and harder to keep it open
my eyes. Nate's heart thumps like a hypnotic under my face, and then
comes the a
point when I am no longer able to fight against it and it closes
my eyes.
I don't know how much time passes, but suddenly a shout pulls me out of
the depths
from my sleep, but the only thing that really wakes me up is Nate jumping
to his feet.
My body is flooded with adrenaline and it's all the same as when
you are dreaming and suddenly you feel as if you are falling. My skin
it tingles as Nate almost throws himself into the chair he just stood up
from.
I take a quick look around the campfire to see all the guys
he jumps up and starts towards the house.
"Stay here and don't move!" - says Nate, and then he too starts running
around the house
towards.
I unwrap the blanket wrapped around my body and stand up to follow him,
but when he gets to the back door Nate turns and looks straight at me.
"Fuck you, Anastasia!"I would freeze immobile - one half of me would run
after him, the other would
he doesn't want to contradict Nathan and both are because
something terrible is clearly going on there. The bell starts ringing
phone, and I start searching frantically, and finally I find the
under the chair.
- Where are you? Lola shouts on the other end of the line.
"In the backyard." What's going on in there? I ask towards the back door
jogging.
"Someone is wrestling." Stay out there and I'll find you when it's over.
"Who's wrestling?" "Please don't say Nathan."
- I do not know! I'm in Robbie's room, I can only hear it.
When I walk through the door to the backyard, no one is in the lounge
– everyone gathers under the arch leading to the kitchen and living room.
The sound of crunching and yelling makes my stomach cramp as it does
also because I can't see the guys, which means the crowd is different
are on their side. It has the advantage of being one hundred and sixty-three
centi, but none of these help when one tries
fight your way through a drunken crowd.
I gasp for breath as I make it through the compaction. When I finally reach
the
to the source of the noise, my heart sinks to my stomach.
In one corner, Kris and Joe are pulling Bobby off someone while the
in another, Mattie and JJ pull Henry off someone else. Instead of my blood
acid to fill my veins while my heart beats wildly.
Looking around the room in horror, I notice Nathan,
as he smears someone against the wall by the throat. Both of their faces are
bleeding
covered, Nate's eyes are hard as he says something through gritted teeth
to the other guy. Only when JJ lets go of Henry to pull Nathan off the
about a guy, I notice that the guy painted on the wall is Aaron.
I can't even move.
Aaron's face is swollen and has a nasty gash. Never mind
takes me as the guy Henry was fighting with drags him out the door.
"Everyone out!" JJ shouts as someone turns off the music. –
Get the hell out of here!
As everyone jostles for the door, I feel like
like Mufasa when he was trampled by the wildebeest herd. I have to go, but
I can't do it. How the hell did this all happen? What at all
was aaron looking for you here?Someone pulls my hand, and I let Lola
know
take me out of the way to Robbie, who is sitting with his face buried in his
hands
in his chair.
I've never seen a party end so abruptly. Last
a guest also leaves, and then someone slams the door, which seems to give
it away
Robbie the privacy he was waiting for.
"What the hell was on your mind anyway?" he yells. "They're all lucky."
you know the fucking cops aren't here!
JJ shrugs his shoulders, then throws himself down on the sofa and wipes his
hands
blood from his lips.
"He deserved it."
It's too busy to stare at their shattered faces and hands
to notice Nathan walking in front of me.
"I told you to wait outside," he says angrily.
"I was worried." "This place looks like Santa's workshop."
he would have emerged from some nightmare. The tree is lying on its side,
the spheres are
instead of branches, they decorate the floor, and half of the string lights
hung on the walls have come off
torn. All of a sudden, Joe appears with a fat bottle of beer and starts
to distribute them, which makes me quite ready, because at the moment it
is not for beer
should be important here.
"Do you guys have a first aid kit?"
"You could have been hurt, Anastasia!" Nate yells as they flinch.
- That I? Blood is not pouring from my face! Please tell me
finally someone tell me what the hell is going on here? I yell back.
"Aaron was drunk and he was talking to some guys I don't know"
Nate replies as he takes a cold beer from Joe and presses it against his jaw
that. "Just his usual bullshit."
"So you even beat the crap out of him?" Seriously, Nathan? After
Skinner is already up your ass, you thought we'd screw it up
just continue this whole shitty situation? "Robbie rolls over next to me and
hands me the first aid kit. "Sit back!" I tell him
to Nate, apparently terrifyingly enough to go without argument
obey.
It seems that they are prepared for such situations well in advance, since
Robbie
he hands another set to Lola, who also goes to mop up the blood on Bobby
from his face. The guy hisses at every touch, while Lo just does
she clicks her tongue loudly."Oh, shut up, you giant baby."
"You're yelling at the wrong guy, Stas," Nate says, then hisses as he does
I smear the cut on his face with an alcohol solution. "I just stopped."
the wrestling. That's exactly why you should have stayed out there
i left you
"Then you have no right to be angry with me!"
"Yes, there are times when you don't give a shit about me and put me in
danger."
yourself!
I want to kiss you and strangle you at the same time. Put your head down
and
to take care of. Careless, irresponsible guy. He grabs it loosely with both
hands
my wrist and slowly pulls it off. Only when you hold mine in your safe
hands
I realize I'm shaking.
"I hit Aaron." You can yell with me, Stassie.
Maybe the only person I didn't expect this from is Henry, this one
here he is, sipping beer and pressing an ice pack to his head. It doesn't look
like
like he's guilty and doesn't have an iota of remorse in his voice.
He's just telling me he hit Aaron.
"What the hell, Henry?" I squeal as I shake off Nathan's hand.
as he slides it up my arm and tries to squeeze my shoulder.
I'm still mad at him and he doesn't get absolution just because
because Henry wants to play Muhammad Ali.
"I won't apologize."
"They crushed my face trying to stop the crap he was doing."
you caused it,” Nate yells at him as he puts a Band-Aid on his face. - If Stas
he wants an apology, then you're going to fucking apologize.
"You want me to repeat what Aaron said about him?" That
understand why he deserved it? Henry says, looking directly at Nate.
without any emotion on his face. "That guy is a biped."
a pile of shit, and I don't regret what I did. Now you're just mad at me
because
you should have done this months ago.
"Watch your mouth, kid!" Nate snaps, causing my stomach to cramp
twitches.
"Then at least it would have been worth it to be benched." That's why
Aaron came
here to stir up shit. It worked out for him. End of story.
"What do you mean what he said about me?" Would you do that
didn't they talk about me as if I wasn't here?Everyone looks at me, but no
one says a word. It's like the
I would yell at nothing. It's like there's some big secret here that I'm the
only one in on
I would not be initiated.
"It doesn't matter, Stassie," Robbie mutters. "Hen, you can't just beat me."
open the mouth of the one who has a mouth.
"I personally don't agree with that," says JJ as he stands up
from the sofa to get himself another beer. "Just tell me next time."
on time, okay, Hen? A number would have just come together, and your
little scene
he hit it home. Think we're at odds over the Gen thing.
"I'm begging you, someone would finally explain what the hell they said."
about me?! – I shout over the charm, as if somehow this is the whole
situation
would be normal.
Lola is completely calm as she checks the guys' injuries one by one,
carefully cleaning all scratches.
"Lols, how can you be so calm?" "It's adrenaline now."
officially cleared from my system. I'm just exhausted
all I did was become more and more confused by the minute and
I yelled.
Lola shrugs, then kicks Nathan until he's down
he picks up the broadcast and doesn't pull away a bit so that my girlfriend
can sit down
next to me.
"I have brothers." In most cases, our house is painted just like this - this
even almost peaceful. He glances at Nathan and narrows his eyebrows. -
Do
make yourself useful and get him something to drink, Rocky.
He wraps his arm around my shoulder and presses a kiss to my forehead.
"Sometimes it's better not to know what people are saying behind our
backs,
my heart. I think we both know Aaron is a mean little scumbag,
and when you come back from Colorado, I think it will be time to
let's talk about our housing. – Tilting his head to the side, he leans on my
shoulder. –
"Don't be too hard on him," he whispers. "He was only protecting Henry."
Nathan returns with two bottles of water, one of which he takes
hands it to me.
"Let's go to bed!" "He doesn't ask, he tells, and no matter how much."
I would prefer to stay here, I have a feeling that we are alone
more likely I can get some answers out of it.
Lo kisses my head again.
"Go, see you in the morning!"Chapter thirty-two

NO THAN

HOW THE HELL DID I GET IN MORE TROUBLE THAN HENRY?

Stas crawls up and down my room naked before going to bed
getting ready while pretending they don't exist. It's just pale
I have an inkling of how you might feel now knowing that
Aaron found himself in the middle of yet another fucking disaster.
I don't even know what he said this time. For Henry though
you're right, I'm stuck because it was really weeks ago
I should have done something. I understand why Anastasia wants a
best guess about Aaron why he wants to give him a chance to
change in a positive direction and be a friend who believes it can be.
Based on the stories about their friendship and shared experiences
she told me, I understand why she doesn't want to just dump the guy. The
problem
on the other hand, I know what Aaron says behind his back, and so does
Stas
no. I made a decision - whether it was the right one or not - and I kept it
this information for myself.
I'm selfish. I don't want you to associate the pain you did with me
you will feel it. I don't want to see her face fall when she realizes
what an ass the guy is.
Stassie was fast asleep on my lap when I heard the commotion
characteristic noise. We don't usually get into fights at our parties - from
that
we get enough in the games, so we don't need it
let's bother with such crap in our spare time.
Now that Anastasia and Lola are here all the time, the urge to
keep the peace even bigger. When I finally got inside the house, Henry
he was just enthusiastically blowing Aaron's face as Bobby and JJ tried their
best
to drag two other guys off him. I don't think Henry even noticed
they threw themselves at him, and the moment I got him off Aaron,
she already went to another guy like some fucking asshole.I picked Aaron
up off the floor - I didn't start anything, I just wanted to
to leave - and he waved his arm towards me. Hits like one
a kid who has never wrestled before in his life, but still
he managed to land a good punch on my face that even cracked my skin
a bit.
Even Lola cut me harder when I ate my favorite
the last of the cereal.
As I held him against the wall by the throat, the temptation was
overwhelming
let out all my hate on him. Feeling his pulse pounding there
under my fingers, I just squeezed him tighter while his gaze was
he burrowed into me. He tried to shake me off while I threatened him
that if he dares to come here again, I will do something to him that will
finally make him
reason to get me into trouble.
Even in the heat of the moment, I'm not so irresponsible as not to buy it
noticing the trap Aaron had set for me. Skinner's palm itched,
to blame me for everything - I can't give him any more reasons for that.
Stas was blowing the mat on my table in annoyance, packing it here and
there
my books. His evening routine is very specific, so I know just the
is looking for a hairbrush, as combing immediately follows brushing.
It's amazing to live with the most predictable girl in the world.
"I don't mind if you look like air, Anastasia," I tell her as I do so
I watch her cute little butt rocking back and forth. "Because I'm out of
breath too."
i'm looking at you
I hear him snort mockingly, but he doesn't take the bait.
"And I also know where your hairbrush is, but I can't tell you because."
I'm looking at you like air.
I expect that he will then turn towards me and throw himself at me, I press
down
on the mattress and demands that I tell you where her hairbrush is. Maybe
until then
will you kiss me until i give up? I do not know. They can be for a guy
though
his dreams. However, Stas doesn't do that, not even close - instead he
introduces me and
keep looking.
His frustration is building, so I'm patiently waiting
give up. He glances at me as I lay sprawled on the bed,
when I think he's about to give up, but instead he realizes where he is
the hairbrush and storms over to me.
Putting his hands on his hips, he pushes his buttocks to the side with a
sudden movement.
"Stop staring at my breasts and show me what you have in your hands!"- Hi
sweetie. Nice to hear your voice again.
"I know you're hiding it from me, and you've been watching it for a quarter
of an hour."
I'll look for it while you have it - he grumbles, although he's having a hard
time doing it
stop yourself from smiling. With the help of his frustration
trying to suppress his glee as he knows I'm out of my mind. –
I hate you.
- I can neither confirm nor deny the accusations brought against me,
because at the moment I see you as air.
He takes a step toward me—so close enough for me to tell
grab it and pull it towards me, while its body screams in alarm
falls on me.
"It's behind the pillow, isn't it?" – I stretch my fingers against his side and
I don't dilate until he's squirming and squealing and laughing, when
I also know that I got him back. "You're so annoying."
His body is warm and soft as he tightens against mine. He looked up at me
- it is
his face is flushed, his lips are drawn into a light smile. I sweep up the mess
hair from her face and kiss the tip of her nose.
Stas sighs and gently runs his finger along the band-aid on my face
under.
"I don't need you to protect me," he whispers.
I've already learned, in most cases, brash and stubborn
I can count on his nature, but sometimes he surprises me with his
vulnerability.
"I know there isn't, but it's still worth it to protect you." Each
cuts, bruises, every drop of anger and frustration is worth it. You
understand it all
worth it. I would be able to protect you until my last blood because
you deserve someone to do that for you and there's no one like me
would be better suited to the task.
Her eyes well up with tears, which are about to run down her face, but
then
he blinks a few times and takes an unsteady breath.
- Kiss Me!
You don't have to say it twice, and when my lips touch yours, a
things don't seem so dire anymore. Something has changed
between us - our bond became deeper, more real. I have no idea, Anastasia
how can he feel now knowing that someone who means a lot to him
thus he betrayed his trust.
"I promise I'll tell you everything in the morning, okay?"
- Alright darling.BY THE TIME MY EYES OPEN, he's already awake, and
I'm wondering why
I wonder how long his brain can spin.
Among other things, I have the promise in my head that everything
I will tell him. He buries his face in my chest, his legs are tangled in it
with mine, and I don't know how anyone can expect that ever
wake up alone again.
- What's on your mind?
"The shower head in your bathroom."
I raise my eyebrows.
"Why?"
"The water pressure is pretty strong." That's my favourite.
Finally realizing what he's talking about, I climb out of bed and him too
I drag it with me. While he giggles, I laugh out loud and slap him
butt. He finally didn't bother to get dressed last night,
so I just throw it in the shower cabin, under the warm water,
then I take off my boxers and stand next to him.
"Leg," I say as I tap my chest on my sternum
under. Stas leans against the wall, looks up at me with glistening eyes, and
then
he easily lifts his legs up. I remove the shower head,
I turn it on and then check that it is on the strongest setting. –
Are you ready?
He nods, his teeth sink into his bottom lip, and he runs his hand along my
chest. THE
I direct the shower head between her thighs, my chest heaving wildly
with anticipation as his eyes widen.
- HE! he moans as his fingers press into my skin. Does not last long,
because the pressure is so strong. His back begins to arch, and more and
more
squeezes I know it's close to completion, so I turn the
shower head and I watch the disappointment on his face as he orgasms
slips from his grasp.
After she lets out a little whimper - which I'm sure
that it wasn't direct - he doesn't say a word, so I put it back
shower head to where it was, but now a little further away from it and
gently moving it in a circular motion.
"Nathan..."
"Yes baby?"He claws at the part below my navel, and a shiver runs through
me
on my spine. His head tilted back, his lips seeking mine. Free
I grab his throat with my hand and pull on his lower lip with my teeth
one on it. He's almost cumming again, his legs pressed against my chest
he trembles, desperation in his voice.
"Please let me enjoy it!"
"Ah." "I pull the shower head aside again." - No.
"You're making me cum," she whines as I direct the water towards her clit
again,
allowing you to get closer to your orgasm. Finally, tired of the
in anticipation, I let him put his feet on the floor, and a whimper
shorts. "Nate, please fuck me."
"But I thought it was your favorite?"
Standing on tiptoe, she wraps her arms around my neck.
"There's nothing I like better than you." You are my favorite.
I take him in my arms and turn off the shower, then the towel
I wrap my arm around Stassie as I exit the cabin. In that
the moment I put him down on the bed, he turns onto his stomach and
lifts the
her ass while turning her head towards me and placing her face on the bed.
Still how
can i be so fucking lucky
"I'm about ten seconds away from going back to the."
take a shower, Hawkins. Alone. He almost purrs while
she shakes her bottom impatiently.
I slowly start to crawl towards him in the bed, not rushing things, nothing
caring about the arm reaching out to me, wanting to hurry me along.
"Your pussy is so beautiful, Anastasia," I praise as I stroke it
my cock between her labia and watch the goosebumps run down her back,
as my glans gently nudges him.
"Then go ahead and kill him." He sighs when
I adjust myself. - Please.
"You're so impatient," I coo as I grab his hips
I penetrate it, and then my breath stops because of how wet it is.
He grabs me with such fucking force that my eyes sting. Anastasia
she stretches herself for me, her round ass slams against my hip as she fucks
himself, lustfully moaning and exclaiming.
"Fuck, you're perfect," I moan as my head falls back.
I sit down with my legs folded under me, and Stas's body close to me
I squeeze, letting him take in every inch of me."You're too big."
"But you can still handle it."
I'm close. So damn close. In his voice, as in his skin
it's like mine, only better is the way it moans my name
while playing with her breasts. I slide my hand between her legs and
I start rubbing her swollen clitoris while using my other hand
I turn his head towards me.
"Are you enjoying yourself for my pleasure?"
"Ahh."
"Whose girl are you?"
He looks me straight in the eye, which takes my breath away.
- Yours.
"Sure baby," I coo proudly. - I am leaving soon…
He certainly sees this as a challenge as his movements then
They get unscheduled and rough as he thrusts into my crotch again and
again
himself. She shivers all over, her arms behind her back, her fingers in my
hair
he drills it and pulls it hard. Then every part of him tenses up and
practically screamed:
"Nathan, oh my, oh my…
That's all I need to follow him into bliss.
My balls are clenching and I'm practically exploding inside him as he
my sweaty forehead falls on his shoulder.
I don't want to let him go, but I have to, as incredible as it is
it's a feeling to enjoy, it's all quite dirty and can really spoil the
moment.
"You don't want to go for a warm rag like the romantic."
do they do it in novels? he jokes.
"I can offer some toilet paper, and maybe a wet wipe, now."
if there is.
With a playful click of his tongue, Stas stands up a little clumsily
off the bed and shuffles towards the bathroom while my cum drips down
the
on the inner thigh.
"From now on, I'm going to pull rubber with you again." You start
too far away from yourself.
"If you don't want my ego to be big, then don't say it."
how big my dick is all the time! - I shout after him, then I smile,
as I hear her laugh from the bathroom. After cleaning up, Stassiehe states
that he wants to get back into bed and snuggle for a bit. In spite of that
how could i say no to that?
"What does it mean that I'm your girlfriend?" he asks carefully
while drawing patterns on my chest with his finger.
I'll give it some thought as I know what it's like
I have to be careful not to screw everything up.
"Practically, you're still the same and doing what you've always done, just."
I can call you my girl without fear of scaring you away.
"And what do I call you?" I can't call you my son after all, that's how it is
strange.
"You can call me that… or your boyfriend." Or whatever you want
anything that calms your little relationship-phobic heart.
He listens longer than I would like.
"It doesn't matter what you call it, Stassie." Titles don't matter if
you can be mine in the meantime. I know, I'm a bit much, and all the time
just kidding, but I want you to know, even I haven't done this before.
I've never had a girlfriend and I've never committed myself to someone.
THE
three months doesn't seem like a long time, but I'm the kind of guy who ha
once he decides something, he is sure of it. But I'm sure
in you.
"I'm sure about you too," he whispers as he runs his thumb over it
along the cut on my face. "I know they're pretty confused and."
things have been chaotic lately, but I'm grateful for everything
you stayed by my side
I half scratch my beard.
"I, um, I think a lot of it, to be honest."
for confusion and chaos, baby. So I'm grateful that you stayed
beside me all the way.
Stas ponders silently, but I just let him, I give him time to a
immerse yourself in your thoughts. I was about to doze off when
clears his throat.
"I'm ready to hear what they said about me." We could talk
For Henry?
I was afraid of that, and that's exactly why I went into it in the first place
easy to have some fun. Stassie is clearly something too
he wanted something to distract him, but maybe do him some good,
if you find out."Of course, I'll go and tell him." In the meantime, maybe put
on some pants
you know, the kid doesn't get a heart attack.
He gently punches my arm and laughs.
"I think we all underestimate Henry."
I think you're right.Chapter Thirty-Three

ANAST ASIA

AS WELL AS HE GOT THREE GUYS YESTERDAY, Henry surprisingly

he's in good spirits and doesn't seem to have a scratch on him.
Shoveling cereal into his mouth, he sneaks into the room and takes it
down
himself to the end of the bed. A grimace appears on his face as he looks at
Nate and
between me.
"It smells like sex."
"You're on thin ice, Turner," Nate grumbles as he climbs back
next to me in bed.
"You'd think that sex relaxes you, but apparently you do."
no, you grunt,” mutters Henry as Lucky takes another spoonful
Charms.
"I assume you know why I asked Nathan to call me."
here - I cut in their words, stopping their argument before it ends
a pointless discussion could ensue.
Henry puts the empty bowl down next to him, crosses his legs and leans
into it
the bed frame.
"I hope it's not because you want a threesome, because you're not."
my case.
Nate's head tilts back, rubbing his forehead and staring at the ceiling
he groans. I hope he doesn't have a migraine, but if anyone can fix it for
him
one today, Henry. Nate glances at him again.
"Dude."
"What do you mean I'm not into you?" I hiss.
"You're too short," Henry says curtly. "How tall are you?"
One hundred and sixty? One hundred and sixty five? You must be at least
one hundred and seventy-five to
to board this flight.
A lot of bad things have happened lately, and this is by far the worst.
I mean, practically, I already have a boyfriend, even if it's from the word go
at the moment
my stomach twitches a little."I would like to file a complaint." This is
discrimination - I snap.
"Baby, I'm here too!" Nate says, raising an eyebrow.
Henry starts to chuckle and winks at Nate.
"Yes, thank heaven." I think Anastasia has a crush on me.
"Do you remember when you were quiet?" Nate says nicely, slowly. –
I miss those times.
Rolling my eyes, I nudge Nate with my shoulder.
- We deviated from the topic. Hen, you need to tell me what the hell
happened
last night.
My palms are sweating, my stomach is churning with nervous anticipation.
To know
I want to, but at the same time I really don't want to know.
"I don't want to tell you, Anastasia," Henry says. - No
not because I want to lie to you, but because I don't think that a
it would be useful if you knew. Aaron talked shit, I hit him
went. You never have to live with him again. Next year when Nate and JJ
then he pulls away, I'll still be here and take care of you.
I feel like the Grinch when his heart grew three sizes -
the love i feel for henry is overwhelming. I don't think you'll even realize
that
how cute. But sweet or not, my brain will produce the
theories about what might have happened until I know.
"I'd still like to know, Hen." "I sigh a lot." "I mean,
you went at it alone for three guys. It must have been pretty bad. Not even
i knew you could wrestle.
Wrinkling her nose, she looks at me as if I've grown an extra one
head.
"I play hockey, I study art, and I have two mothers." You think before
I've never had to hit anyone before?
"It's okay, tough guy," Nate mutters. "Let's not pretend."
you wouldn't have grown up in a comfortable garden town in Maple Hills.
Tell me
leave it to him, he has the right to know.
Henry sighs and then nods.
"I was just looking for Gen when I noticed Aaron coming in two."
with a guy. They were clearly drunk. aaron asked where are you
so i told him to get out of here. To this he stated that he did not
it goes, I pulled one in for him.
I narrow my eyes as Henry looks everywhere but at me
no.- You lie to me.
"I'm not lying, Anastasia."
"I know you're not used to it, so why are you lying now?"
Tell me what Aaron said!
Nathan sighs and pulls me closer to his side and kisses me
on my temple.
"It all started at the beginning of October, right after
I asked you to bring Lola to Robbie's birthday party. Aaron said
you will enjoy watching me fall like everyone else.
"And then what happened?"
Nate rubs my back gently, up and down. Henry sits with us in silence
against.
"Every time we just had training and you went into the dressing room, he
still."
he walked up to Brady and brushed him off that you're out of your mind
you go all out at parties, drink and sleep with strangers. This
it went on like this for weeks, then one day Brady lost his faith and carried
it off
to the yellow earth.
"We didn't hear what Aaron said," Henry interjects. "But."
Brady told him that if he didn't like the way you skated so much,
then find yourself another partner. This happened right before
injured.
Coach Brady was a lot nicer to me this year, but I thought that was it
simple pity after all I've been through. Still hellish
It's scary, but I've noticed that I don't like every single one anymore
for a trifle as before. But I never thought it would be this
it might be because he doesn't want to give Aaron any ammo.
"Okay, so she scolded me behind my back all the way up to Halloween."
Then he was stuck by my side for two weeks, I made up with Nate-
tel, and I stuffed it here. Christmas is almost here, so what are you missing?
Henry sighs and rubs his jaw.
"Tim, one of the guys on the team, was at one of the Titans basketball
games,
and sat behind Aaron. Tim said he thought the two guys Aaron was with
was, not going to Maple Hills.
"All of Aaron's friends are at UCLA, so he never bothered to
to make friends here, I explain. "It was like he was going there too."
with them, but then he was hired here. That's how we got together - we're
both in a coupleWe were skaters whose partner Maple Hills didn't do
offer.
"Maybe it was them, I don't know." But Tim heard that about you
they talk He said that Ryan dumped you nicely because
he realized that you are a simple jersey bus.
"How original," I snort. - What else?
Henry's gaze flickered to Nathan for guidance. Out of the corner of my eye
I see Nate nod. Henry starts squirming on the bed while
my palms ache as my nails dig into my flesh.
"Tim heard Aaron say your parents are burned."
so you're joining the ranks of those who become professional athletes.
He called me a whore, said you've always been one, and now you're with
Nate
you are trying to do the same.
Do not Cry.
- Okay. Are there any others?
Henry nods as my heart starts pounding in my chest.
"He said you were planning to trap Nate."
with a baby. You're not talented enough to make it to the top
in skates, and that way you would at least have an excuse to stop without
that you should admit you're not good enough. He said it was probably
Brady
coach did the same.
The words are stuck in my throat. I don't even believe what
I feel that would be an insult - Aaron has said worse things to my face.
It's more of a shame. Knowing that these people, Nate's friends,
people who respect him had to listen to him being so horrible
I am a man who wants to trap him.
"Have we finally gotten to last night?"
"Last night he said he came to take you home to where you belong."
I told him that you're not going anywhere, and he said yes
"So you brush him too?" I told him to get out of here, but he just did
he continued. Henry glances at Nate again as he pretends to
anywhere you'd rather be.
"Just keep going!" I mumble. Nate takes my hand and
with his thumb, he gently traces the marks made by my nails
left on my skin.
"He said you're just using us to have a place to live, period."
as you did with him. That Nate is out of his mind if he thinksyou really like
him because you're a complete con anyway. And then that
he said… fuck it. – Henry runs his hand over his face, then his eyes
he nails it to the bedclothes. "I'm sorry, Stassie." I'm so sorry you have to
let me say that again... He said no one will ever be able to love you
because how could they love you if your own parents didn't need you, and
they
and those who bought it, you just need to fill their trophy case.
"Fuck it," snaps Nate.
"And that's when I pulled him in."
"Nathan, you're causing me pain," I whisper, looking at my pinky fingers.
which he squeezes too tightly.
"Thanks for telling me, Hen," I say without my voice
would tremble. "And also that you came to my defense." I'm sorry it's like
that
I brought you drama.
Henry looks terribly tense, which I feel too.
"Lola said I can't talk about whether you love her right now."
each other or not, but I love you, Anastasia. I meant it,
when you said I want you to live here. Whether you're together
or not, if you get tired of Nathan, you can sleep in my room. See you again
I take out the inflatable mattress.
A loud, dramatic sob is about to break out of me, but I hold it back,
and I just nod instead.
"I love you too, Henry."
She grabs her empty cereal bowl and walks out of the room, then
as soon as the door closes, Nathan pulls me on top of him, then leans back
and puts my head in the
he rests on his chest as I wrap my limbs around him.
"Just let it out." You are safe. I'm here.
So I let the dam break and I hug her tight,
while all the emotions that I have repressed until now spread out at the
same time
under you.
Nathan lets me cry until I pass out, when I do
I finally calm down, he tells me what he has been patiently waiting for
I'm ready to hear.
"I know you're not using me." I know you're not trying
to trap. I fucking love living with you. Guys love you too
to live, we all want you to be here. I know you like me, but
there's no doubt you hate this,” he adds, then kisses her with a chuckle
mark on my forehead."I really, really hate it."
"I don't know how much you care about my opinion on the matter, but."
you are an amazingly talented skater. I fully believe that
you will achieve your goals. I wouldn't force my log-like body
fucking yoga poses if I didn't think you and your talent were worth it.
"Nate…"
"I haven't finished yet." You are a good person, Anastasia. I'm sorry for that
I don't tell you every single day. With you, I feel like they care
with me, they watch me, and even other things that I don't even know
about
how can I properly put it into words. With you, I feel respected
and for who I am, not as a team captain or what
I know.
"I really appreciate you."
"It's a feeling I haven't felt in a long time." Since my mother died
certainly not. I like guys, but it's not the same. I do not know,
how can I describe it... It's like there's a place in your life that
you keep it only for me. A place I don't have to share
where you expect nothing from me. You know what it's like
is that amazing? How lucky I feel to have it
can i know you I want to be the best possible version of myself with you.
- HE…
"You're smart and dedicated and you fucking deserve it."
love you, Anastasia. You deserve it so much. They are such people
surrounded by those who love you, we are all on your team. Aaron
no, and that's why he's trying to hurt you. I'm sorry you had to go through
it
listen to
"Thanks for telling me, well, all of that." With you, I also feel
to be appreciated.
"That's the truth, and I wish I'd said it before."
would be for you. Look, I don't think I have any right to a
to talk about your parents, but based on what you told me about them, to
me so
you seem to be the best thing that ever happened to them.
I nod but say nothing else. To each and every one of my questions and
answered my doubts. That's not enough to drown out the noise, though
turned down the volume a bit.
We lie in bed quietly for a while, when
I swear I'm a little better now, Nate gives me that athe space I crave to
process all of this. With Robbie and
She goes to the gym with Henry, leaving me at home with JJ and Lola,
who claim that exercise is for losers. In their infinite wisdom
they both decided to distract me by saying that
continue my culinary training.
Lola has been consumed by guilt over the whole meal plan fiasco for a
while now
because of - he keeps scolding himself for not paying more attention. Just
like
me, he doesn't believe that Aaron did it directly either, but in that opinion
there is that he should have had a better say in things, and he should have
prevent the whole mess.
Since then he has been teaching me how to make a pair
his favorite food. Well, at least it was, until it stopped
to criticize how I cut up the chicken when JJ banished him to the
from the kitchen and ordered him to sit at the far end of the breakfast
counter. JJ
told him that if he can't play well, then he can't play at all
you can play.
We do butter chicken because, to quote JJ, “the mean white chicks
they love butter chicken”. JJ already told me that it might be silly because
we didn't marinate the chicken long enough, but we will continue to
marinate it because a
The Johal-Mitchell-Allen trio does not give up.
JJ watched as I added the baking powder and our naan bread was dry
to your ingredients, just to check I didn't forget it after
she taught me the recipe last week. Now that I'm already translating the
fifth a
on the lake
{††}
, he is no longer interested in the matter and prefers to look at his dating
app.
Learning new recipes helps me improve my relationship with food.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't see the cream in the dish
my fingers were itching to open the calorie counter
my app, but I'm really trying to just enjoy the
moment.
Gaining three pounds last month was a big blow.
Of course I hummed a line, as nothing else seems to do these days
I do, I'm just rambling, but Nate quickly pointed out that that's all
muscle. I'm more skilled, and as I get stronger, I decide everything in turn
my personal records so far during some training sessions. It's been a long
time
this is the first time I'm feeding my body properly, and as hard as it is,
I try to forget about numbers. I never noticed that before
no matter how unhealthy I looked at food, but every single dayI try to
improve by giving my body what it really needs,
rather than what I think you need.
As I put the last naan on the plate, JJ finally looks up
from your phone.
"You two moved here?" he asks without hesitation.
"Where's your filter, Johal?" You don't think this was needed first
would you like to drive laughs Lola.
"I'm a busy man." I have to get straight to the point.
"I have no idea what we're doing." "I sigh." "I will."
we'll talk about it after i get back from colorado.
"Well, I'm sure Hawkins gave a whole speech."
to you, and swore to devote his whole life to you, or what do I know,
but just so you know, I'm perfectly fine with you living here. If it's about
guys
it comes down to it, my instincts are foolproof and I say, Aaron on two legs
accompanying danger sign.
The front door opens and sweaty and exhausted guys pour in.
"Oh, but it smells good!" Robbie exclaims as he joins us
in the kitchen and immediately reaches for a naan.
I knock his hand away before it even reaches the plate.
"Patience!"
After what seems like an eternity they spend one after the other
I slap the hands of the hungry boys who want to taste, I finally serve the
food and
you sat everyone down at the table.
"That looks great, Stassie," Henry says, all the more stinging
without comment.
"I'm so proud of you," Nate says as he leans into me and
he presses a kiss to my temple. "It smells divine."
Fuck you, calorie counter.Chapter thirty-four

NO THAN

I AM SURPRISED THAT MY GIRLFRIEND - yes, I can call her that -

the most annoying person ever to travel with? No.
Right now he's so fucking awake I'm about to get sick
from him. We're on the first plane in the morning to Washington, which
means yet
the sun hasn't even risen, yet Stas is jumping around.
On the one hand, it's good to see him happy after his recent post-Aaron
debacle.
On the other hand, we wake up together every day, and I've never seen
him like this before
behave before lunch, so I'm confused as hell. Present
right now I'm sipping my second coffee and it's still tormenting me
that little nausea that comes over you when it's too early
wakes up.
He's not so happy about us going to Seattle—anywhere, frankly
we could travel. But, as it turned out, he likes to prepare for the trip.
Commanding Anastasia is my favorite - assertive and sassy when
but I don't pay attention to him, it's fucking funny how he frowns. When
but he takes control in bed, jeez, what a lucky one
I'm also a guy. I would happily fight every single day Commander
With Anastasia.
There is nothing worse than traveling with Anastasia. Lists. So much
fucking list. You have to check everything I do - every single one
he has to check a bag himself, because I don't do it as well as he does
He.
Traveling Anastasia convinced me to use packing cubes
it meant that I played tetris with my suitcase for fucking hours.
When I argued with him for the third time and I still didn't know
to pack everything, I caught myself and threw myself across the room
useless dice. Feeling a little frustrated,
Anastasia knelt before me, reached for my belt, and showed mehow much
he likes to travel. It was the only thing that kept me from
to cancel our ticket.
I pour the rest of my coffee and sit back on the rickety airport chair,
when I immediately sense that someone is staring.
"You're very grumpy this morning," Stas chirps as he shovels it
the fruit salad, for which he paid about fifteen dollars in the airport store.
- It's early. I'm tired - I moan.
"My poor little one!" he says sarcastically, then chuckles
stings my face. "Do you want to fall asleep on my breast on the plane?"
"It's nice that I want to fall asleep on your chest," I mutter as I do
I lean closer to him and steal a piece of pineapple from his fork. "You."
yet how are you so alert? And so fun?
"I love airports." You can watch people, organize,
shopping and doing things like that. A lavish thing. Moreover, just for that
I'm getting ready to enjoy your undivided attention for two weeks,
so how could I not be cheerful?
Oh man. Like he knew exactly what to say to get me to ask him out
his hand. He holds out his fork to me and lets me steal another eye
pineapple. With a big sigh, I tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear.
"You're annoying, but still cute."
"Oh, I think our gate is opening!" he squealed. - let's go!
He jumps to his feet and frantically tries to pick up the
her bags, while balancing her fruit glass in the other.
We are moments away from a disaster.
- Keep calm! I tell him, then I take the bags out of his hands
and I bend them over my shoulder. Grinning wide, she watches as he does
I'm gathering our things. "Alright, we can go."
- Yes, Captain!
The moment the plane takes off, I fall asleep on Stassie's chest
leaning over. Three peaceful hours later, we land well outside Los Angeles
cooler in Washington state. We jump into a taxi, Stassie gives the
address, and we're off.
We only spend two nights here before continuing on to Colorado where
the
we spend Christmas and New Year's Eve. I can't say how much
I dread meeting his parents. Stassie speaks with immense respect
about them, and I only have one chance to make a first impression.Stas
turns his phone back on, and his parents jump up one after the other
excited messages. He laces his fingers with mine and then my wrist
he raises it to his lips and kisses it back and forth.
"Are you okay baby?"
"What if they don't like me?"
"They already like you, Nathan." And somehow it's bad
you would make an impression on them, I see them about once a year, so
no
it also matters a lot. I like you enough for everyone.
"You remember when you said everything a month ago."
will sleeping in my bed at night distract you?
"Yes."
"I'm glad you let it be like that." Thank you for not
you let me spend the holidays alone.
He flashes me that smile that I love so much. The soft, that
which makes his eyes start to sparkle, which I think he only has in store for
me.
"I think you helped him grow rather than distracting him."
my attention.
We spend the rest of the journey in comfortable silence, and I until then
I'm calm until we turn into a small dead end, where then
we stop in front of a house. Stassie squeezes her one last time
my hand, and then he opens the car door. There is no going back.
After spending the first fifteen minutes here feeling like
I'm about to pass out from nervousness, I can honestly say that Julia and
Colin
Allen are two of the kindest people I have ever met.
The whole encounter is very overwhelming, but in such a pleasant way.
Already
I already knew about them from Anastasia before, but it's really good to
listen,
as they talk about their family. The one thing that never, ever
they don't need to explain how much they love Anastasia, since this
it was clear from the way they looked at Anastasia standing in the front
door,
as we clambered up the porch steps. Julia not even five minutes
he let go of his daughter.
They quickly showed us around the house, then left us to ourselves for a
bit,
so we can pack it. The whole place is full of photos of Stas.
Birthdays, camping, Christmas, and every picture has the same a
a cute little face is blooming.
Yes, our children will be symptomatic.Julia hands the third gingerbread to
me and then to Stassie
he turns and clears his throat.
"After all, you didn't tell me when."
make an appointment for the track, baby. I don't know what to do...
The atmosphere in the room changes immediately - it seems cooler
would be, although I may just be imagining it, because I know that skating
sunshine and storm clouds at the same time for this family.
With the hand that is not currently holding a cookie, I grab Anastasia's
dick and
I squeeze encouragingly. He clings to me desperately.
"I didn't plan on skating, and, um, if that's okay, I don't."
I want to talk about it while I'm here. I had a few sessions last month
with Dr. Andrews and says it would be good for me to do other things
we would find something to talk about.
Colin leans forward, visibly shocked.
"Seriously?"
Stas nods and then looks from one parent to the other. Julia very much
he tries not to show his shock, but he doesn't quite succeed.
"It helps me withstand the pressure." According to Dr. Andrews, it is good
if one is not alone
he rests physically, but also mentally. So the fact that they didn't ask a
from the skate side, it helps. But I will let you know if something new or
interesting happens
in the future.
"Of course, Annie." We only ask about it because we know it
how important it is to you. We only care about your happiness.
baby. We won't talk about it anymore, will we, Col? Only if you do too
you would like.
I feel the tension leave Anastasia's body, her grip loosens,
then he calms down completely. To put this behind us
I change the conversation, the topic, and ask about the nickname I've
never had before
I heard it before.
“Annie”?
Stas looks at me seriously.
"Yes, I'm called Annie because I was an orphan."
Colin starts laughing as Julia catches her breath and crosses her
arms in front of his chest.
Anastasia Rebecca Allen! he hisses. "We call her Annie because."
when you were eight you couldn't spell Anastasia! Shaking his head
he glances at me. "Please don't even listen to our daughter!"I can't stop
laughing.
"I have to, ma'am." He can be pretty scary if he wants to be. The
my whole hockey team is terrified of him.
"It's always been that way," says Colin proudly. "She's thirteen."
when he was a boy, his classmate was bullied by a couple of older kids.
Then one
day we were called in to see the director, because Anastasia blew them all
away.
"Mhmm," murmurs Julia. "You somehow missed that."
After that, Anastasia had to go to penal servitude for two weeks,
because he told the director that a teenage girl should do it
instead of his work, then he is not capable enough to run a school.
Stassie blushes a little, but then pretends it's nothing
whole.
"But wasn't I right?" And then they weren't harassed anymore
guy.
"Brady has been bullying me for weeks and you never once stood up for me-
"
candy
He giggles and playfully pushes me.
"I may be brave, but not that brave."
A few hours after our arrival, Julia gets two Christmas overalls -
a reindeer case for me and a snowman case for Stassie – which is about it
the most comfortable thing I've ever worn. I feel now that
I've already heard all the embarrassing stories in your parents' repertoire,
I know Anastasia much better.
Since today was so relaxed, Anastasia suggested that evening
let's go somewhere for dinner so no one has to cook. You already are
it's been a thousand years in the making, so I've made myself comfortable
with it
on his bed, taking the huge bag of paper clips that Julia had given me.
I had a stomach ache once before, when it became Julia's personal mission
he made me stuff all the food in the house.
I love watching Stassie get ready. She curls her hair in curls,
paying special attention to each snail. so focused
so that his teeth almost skewer his lower lip. Sometimes he leans towards
the mirror,
as the light shines on his tanned skin. I can't stop that the
my eyes should not wander first to the curve of her waist and then to her
hips
along its contours…
"You're so sexy."
She glances at me in the mirror, smiling."Are you talking to me now or to
your chip?"
"To you." The pinch is also good, but you are clearly better. Would you
help me
get off the bed?
He narrows his eyes - he's suspicious for a reason.
"Why?" So that at that moment you can pull it on yourself
can i hold your hand
"No," I lie. After you turn off that hot rod thing, slowly the bed
walks next to him. - Why are you so far? Come closer!
The corner of his mouth curls up as he takes a small step towards me, but
this is just enough for me to be able to throw myself on it and put it on the
bed
pull. She squeals as my fingers slide over her waist, and then until
I tickle you until you can barely breathe.
She leans against my chest, her perfect locks adorning my skin.
"You should get ready too."
I know this too, but Stassie looks so happy that
I don't want to miss a minute of it.
"Can't we spend the next week like this?" Let's say naked -
I'll add it. "Well, you just be naked." I like this coverall, good
keeps my balls warm.
"As long as it's comfortable for your balls, of course."
"Can't we just play around for ten minutes?" Then I get dressed -
I ask as I twist one of her strands around my finger.
- No.
"Five minutes?"
He puffs and rolls his eyes.
– Second base for three minutes, but then he really needs it
get ready.
"The deal is done."
I MADE A MISTAKE earlier about romp time
I agreed. Actually, I should have negotiated rather that a
to wear my reindeer dress to the restaurant. A whole is complete
after an afternoon spent in comfort, this shirt feels like it's suffocating me.
The only thing going for it is that Anastasia looks at me like
as if second base was just a little more on his mind."Stop looking at me like
you want me to put you to bed"
I mutter as his parents walk in front of us, following the waiter
to our table.
"But if I wish you once." I think the rolled up sleeves can do it. It is so
you look sexy
Roaring laughter bursts from my throat, but I don't say a word. The
upturned
shirt is a JJ classic. It definitely claims to be the one
the most slutty thing a guy can do.
When we are at home, Anastasia and I don't often go to restaurants,
because we are working so hard on his new meal plan and a little
I feel like we would be working against ourselves by eating in the
restaurant, if only for once
Stas enjoys learning new recipes so much.
Today is clearly a special occasion, as Stas is one year old now
it's my first time here, so it's good to see what kind of restaurant is up there
to your favorites list.
The place is too flanky for my overalls, it's so sacred. Quiet environment,
low lighting, intimate. I glance at the menu, pretending
as if I were seeing it for the first time, without revealing to Julia and Colin
that
Stassie had me study it for fifteen minutes before
we came
However, despite all that preparation, he still doesn't know how
what to eat I lean closer to him and look at the menu with him.
"What are you going to order?"
"I don't know," he answers, confirming my suspicions while biting his lips
nibbling, he flips the menu over to look at the other side
buy.
"What are you vacillating between?"
He flips it again.
"Between the crab ravioli and the chicken pizza." Actually, I prefer ravioli
I eat pizza, is that weird?
His parents hear us and they both look at us
over their menu and nod at the same time.
"Yes."
"How about if I order pizza and you order ravioli?"
Then if they bring out the food and you change your mind, we can switch.
Putting the menu down on the table, he glances at me with a twinkle in his
eye
something."Have I told you that you are my favorite human being today?"
"Good and… Oh, hello guys."
Turning away from Stassie, I glance at our table
stepped in as a waiter. The guy looks strangely familiar, even though
I've never been here before.
As I look towards Stas for guidance, he has a look on his face
I can see from the tension that he clearly knows the guy. Julia stands up
from the table and kisses the waiter on the cheek.
"James!" he says cheerfully. "But I'm glad to see you, my dear."
I didn't even know you worked here.
It's funny to see Julia trying to force a smile on her face because she is
just like stassie's forced smile - horrible. In that
the moment he says "James" they realize who the guy is. Whole
in the afternoon I stared at his pictures, in which he was younger, but still
they had the same face and sandy blonde hair.
James was Stassie's skating partner before college. And besides
her first boyfriend, her first love, her first everything.
Sumptuous. I'm so glad you're here.
Colin shakes hands with James as they both look so half-hearted
they look like how I feel.
"I'm here for a couple of weeks, just for the holidays." "His look."
he glides past me, then settles on the woman sitting next to me, who is
James
he hadn't said a word since his arrival. "Good to see you, Stassie."
Just saying his name seems to pull him out of that weird haze.
which he got lost in.
"You too, James." This is Nathan, my friend. Nate, this is James. He was
the
my skating partner before I moved to Maple Hills.
My friend.
It was the first time he called me that, and he said it with such confidence.
Sure,
that I didn't imagine.
This isn't the best time to go all out, Hawkins.
I extend my hand to James, which is weirdly formal, but so does Colin
he did, so I follow his example.
- Nice to meet you!
"Same," James replies. It really doesn't suit him to act like
as if this wasn't embarrassing enough. "What can I bring to eat?"After we
order, my new friend James disappears, and so does our drink
it is brought out by a completely different waiter.
The food is divine, the conversation is easy, and I can hardly imagine how
much
it would be different if Stas met my father. Thanks to that
I'm damn glad we're going back to L.A. before that
my father would come home from vacation.
I wipe my mouth with my napkin and gather my courage,
which I've been looking for for five minutes
"Let me pay the bill, as a thank you for taking me in."
to their home. "Colin is about to open his mouth, but I'll continue before
he does."
he could say anything. "And I know they'll say no, but whatever."
you know, I'm totally ready to pretend to go out a
to the bathroom, so that I can pay in my scuttle. I felt great today
with you, and I want to thank you for that by paying the
invoice.
"Oh, father, let him!" moans Anastasia. - Seriously,
he is so stubborn that he will be able to argue about it for hours.
Moving our heads in slow motion, our faces are the same,
we all look at him in shock.
"Wait, I'm the stubborn one?"
He takes my hand resting on the table and interlaces our fingers, then
he laughs, his laugh soft and melodious. His eyes sparkle as he tries
to hide his smile. Impressive.
"Oh, clearly."
Fuck it. I am so in love with this woman.Chapter thirty-five

ANAST ASIA

- ARE WE THERE YET?

"God in heaven, I swear I'll leave you here at the airport," Nate grumbles,
as he slaps my ass and then laughs as an older couple approaches us
he shakes his head at the noise and I blush.
We're just rushing to our join in Denver, and Nate is on his way
in fact, he can hardly fit in his skin from the good mood after our early
departure from Seattle.
I didn't think I'd be sad when I left
Seattle, but I was. I still am.
The way Mom and Dad reacted to me wanting to go to a restaurant, no
and that I wanted to go skating and cook for them, he proved to me that
how strictly I took things on my previous visits.
Letting go of these problems, even if only for those two days,
what we spent there helped more than any therapy session. When in the
morning
we came, I promised your mother that I would come again soon, and this
I honestly meant it.
I spent all of yesterday playing tour guide,
and I showed Nate everything there was to see in town.
We stayed out until our noses were almost frozen to ice, and
we were simply unable to drink even a sip of hot chocolate.
I've been living in L.A. for too long now, because the suddenness has taken
a toll on me
temperature drop. Nathan joked that he was ugly
I will be in for a surprise when we get to their house and how
I'm learning what real cold is like. He promised that it was our time
at least 90% of it will be spent in front of the fireplace, so I think it's gone
I will be able to bear the other 10%.
I loved playing tour guide and by the time we got home,
we were really exhausted. Watch as Nathan gives his charming and
his caring form, and the way my parents are also faced with this, is one
it was a dream come true. Not to mention watching it happenhe fits his
one hundred and ninety-three centimeter body into a set of overalls
it was the highlight of my year.
Much of the journey was spent watching Nathan - which is not difficult,
because he is so handsome.
Last night, he talked to dad about hockey for hours - and down
they promised that he would join in the summer after he graduated
to the Vancouver team, which dad was understandably upset after hearing
impressed.
"I can't wait to see you play." Now, I can't promise that
I would switch to another team, but if you win the Stanley Cup, then
maybe I'll consider it - he joked.
I think this must have caused Nathan a strange mix of emotions. Never
he wanted nothing more than for his own father to take even a little
interest in the
after his career, and now someone who forty-eight hours ago
she was practically a stranger to him, genuinely excited about what lay
ahead
because of
Hockey aside, it could be that my mom has a crush on my boyfriend, which
On the one hand, I am happy, but on the other hand, I was a little afraid of
my father. I offered to
I cook biryani for dinner - on the one hand to help and on the other hand
to
to show off my new cooking skills. Mom just sat there
with slightly teary eyes.
- What's wrong? I asked, raising one eyebrow in doubt
raised.
"It's okay, baby," he murmured as he seemed to pretend
she was about to hold back her tears. "I'm so proud of you." You came
home,
you are happy and healthy. You have a wonderful friend. It's your mother
I am, so I have every right to be a little
to be sensitive when I see how well my daughter's turn is going.
He wanted to know everything - how we met, how we got together, what
we did
I had to, um, edit the truth a little creatively.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to talk about me and Nate as Aaron
should not be discussed at all.
"Those little filths," Mom fumed as she savagely chopped the
coriander. "Just wait until I meet him."
Aaron's accident and our fight weren't even the hard part—
mother clicked her tongue disapprovingly and rolled her eyes
parts, as he knows exactly what Aaron can be like sometimes. The
thingsthey started getting a little awkward when I got to the one with
Henry
until his wrestling.
"He said..." I paused here to see, at all
can i repeat it With a big sigh, I handed it to my mother
my hand and took the kitchen knife out of his grip. "He said never."
no one would be able to love me because neither could my biological
parents
I had to.
Mom's eyes widened, her face changed from one moment to the next
he turned white as he gripped the edge of the kitchen counter.
"And if that wasn't bad enough, he added that it's just for you too."
I needed it to fill the trophy cabinet.
I uttered these words without any emotion—it is
I already ran out of emotions when I cried a week earlier
Nate's chest. But from the sight of how the chemical cleaner came out on
my mother's face
horror, I would have liked to have shot myself again.
"I can't believe it," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.
I nodded and then let him hug me tight enough that it was
squeeze every last drop of air out of me. "However, how can anyone think?"
like that too? How? Why? But why? What the hell is wrong?
"He hurts others when it's bad for him," I explained with a sigh,
as I took his arm off me with great difficulty. To this, mother's hands
he took my face and pressed a loving kiss on my forehead. "No one."
tell! There's no need for it.
"But it is." You are the best thing that ever happened to us,
Anastasia. The very best. How talented you are adds
to what makes you so special, but complete long before that
I loved you with all my heart that you would have ever pulled on skates.
- I know. "I didn't even lie with that." Fears and myself
I know under forced pressure that my parents love me. Not in that one
they were jumped in front of them through the American adoption system
in hope
set up obstacles for them to have an athletic child. But also
they simply wanted to complete their family.
"What are you going to do about this Aaron thing?" - asked.
The impossible question I wish I had an answer to.
Understandably, Nate would prefer to shut it down, and not even that
would allow Aaron to ever look at me again and Lola
completewholeheartedly supports this plan. However, the sad situation is
that since he's my partner, I don't really have much of a choice.
I expected to hear from Aaron after the fight,
but he wasn't looking for it at all. Lola said she went to Chicago and that's
it
he won't be back before the new year, and I know that because of all the
time
he spends the holidays with his quarreling parents, only to be in an even
worse mood.
I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that it's with Aaron
my friendship has now been strained to the point where there is no going
back. Not anymore
I can be the doormat of a mentally damaged guy who blames all his
problems on me
he crushes her without any willingness to try to help
private.
Aaron is in an amazingly privileged position and all the possibilities
available to him. I really hope you take advantage of these
opportunities to be the man deep beneath the fears and rage
it's hiding, but I feel like it keeps getting further and further away from this
person.
It hurts to admit all this - that I'm giving up on him.
Or at least that's how he'll see things.
With his biting disposition and the way he gently tries to control me, even
I could handle it. But the time spent at home laughing and grinning from
ear to ear
we spend, when something succeeds on the ice, it no longer nullifies the
bad moments. All of this will never be enough, yet so much
nor is he able not to say obscene things about me behind my back.
However, these feelings rage in my body in vain, and it screams in vain
a voice in my head saying, That's enough, I can't be a pair skating couple
without. From now on I will be forced to strictly as a professional
relationship
to think about our relationship.
Co-workers.
Nathan of course hates all of this, but it's not about how
what he likes or what makes him feel good. I understand, of course I do.
The way Nathan cares for me gives me a strange, fuzzy feeling
in my belly - the kind I thought people were just making up.
He treats me with respect and kindness and in every way
support. I call him my boyfriend when, for God's sake, from that word
before I was filled with panic, but now I am filled with so much happiness.
We're inseparable, and we're both okay with that
satisfied.What Nate forgets, however, is that he will be gone in the summer
and
you will be moving to another country, so you need to make friends with
that a
with the thought that I could handle Aaron alone.
It's not normal to live with Nate, even though we both love it.
I've always loved living with Lo and Aaron and I want to go back to that a
to a level where Aaron and I are able to exist in the same space, then
even if we are no longer best friends. Let's talk about this more
I won't either, because Nathan hates the thought of it
move back to Maple Tower.
To put it simply, whatever Aaron is involved with
add, then Nathan hates it, but it's nice of him to at least
consistent. He is not tormented by the same fears that I am. He is not
questions whether our relationship only works because
because we are together twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and
how
will we be able to handle being away from each other when he moves
away.
I hope we can make it. I need it to make it through. Never
I would have thought that in the space of three months they would turn
from friends to lovers
we can be But despite my best efforts, I'm head over heels in love
into this guy.
- ARE WE THERE YET?
Nate pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a big sigh. One at the
moment
he doesn't find it funny at all, but the more annoyed he gets, the more I do
i am having fun
Would I have gone over to… JJ?
He lowers his head, his nose gently touching mine. I feel the
his hot breath on my skin, his lips are barely a few centimeters away from
mine
I even forget to think for a moment.
"As soon as we're alone..." He nods towards our driver, who is just a
he's minding his own business in the first session - ...I'm going to spank you
all
every time you asked me that.
My breath catches in my throat and something strange, a giggle and a
moan
I hear a voice between us, and then Nate cancels the distance between us,
and almost melts with his kiss.
He leans back to look at me, his brown eyes directly into mine
stare and I just know. I know it was the right decision herespend the
holidays with him.
"You're such a bad girl sometimes."
"But we're almost there, aren't we?"
He takes my hand in my lap and interlaces our fingers, then
looks out the window.
"Two more minutes." And that matters anyway.
"I hoped so."
It's the longest two minutes of my life, but then we finally hit a big one
to the gate. I try not to get impatient - or rather
I try not to show how nervous I am, because I know I am
foolishness. It's just an empty house, but how can I be upset with an empty
house
because of?
I take it back.
This is a mansion. A huge, snowy mansion with a good one at the door
long driveway leads. I don't even notice until then
I opened my mouth until Nate chuckled and flicked his chin.
to close it.
"You're damn rich," I whisper, not necessarily to him
addressing my words, but simply trying to grasp what I see.
I know Nate's family is doing well, but I never thought
that so well. The car stops in front of the front door, which is so big that
i think it was originally designed for giants.
"My father is rich as hell."
It all comes together a bit as we grab our bags and Nate walks in
through the door and then towards the middle of the room.
"Go on, sniff around, I know that's what you want."
You're right.
"I'm afraid I'll get lost." Would you mind showing me around?
We drop our bags next to the door, then Nate through an archway
leads into the kitchen.
"This is the kitchen."
"Well, seeing the stove, I kind of guessed it wasn't a bedroom." –
I haven't even finished rolling my eyes when he tries
grab. I run to the other side of the kitchen island laughing
I run away from him, and he shakes his head, frowning.
"You're so fucking annoying," he says with a big moan.
"You're slow." You should work on it.The tour doesn't take long after that,
because it's about that much
it says that I am running from one room to another giggling while Nathan
trying to catch me I know, he keeps letting me slip out of his hands
of, since while I take two steps, he takes one, but it's funnier that way.
I take in half an eye on the high ceiling and the abundance
natural light. Blah blah. All the things that befit a man
to praise him when he visits a beautiful house. In fact, it's the only one
in my head that thanks to these spacious arches it's damn easy to avoid,
to push the person to the floor.
Running up the grand staircase - the staircase for grand ball entrants
should be maintained,'' Nate slyly starts toward an express room
to herd.
Out of breath, pumped up and ready to admit defeat,
I open the door which leads to – what a surprise – his bedroom.
I stop in the doorway when Nate puts his arm around me from behind,
carries me inside, and throws me down on the bed.
After he also throws himself on the mattress next to me, he turns it over so
that he is on it
lie down
"What do you think of the tour?"
"That I need more cardio."
I feel his chest heave into his laughter beneath me, and then the next
sweeps my hair out of my eyes in no time.
"I was really nervous about bringing you here."
"Why?"
"This is nothing like your houses." There are no pictures, the only one
trophies belong to Sasha, and it's all so... not t'om. Cold.
Even as fast as I ran through the rooms, it was hard not to
to notice how sterile it all is. Shit, it's only Christmas
there were no decorations anywhere.
I know her father is an asshole, Nate made that clear in no uncertain
terms. But
what is it like to know that your son will be home alone, and that's it
don't you even put up a Christmas tree? And what about Sasha, who is
here all December
did he live What if I had stayed in Washington or California?
Then Nate would have been alone in this huge, empty house.
A lump grows in my throat, which I try to swallow, but it doesn't work.
Nate's eyes widen, his body freezes.
- What's wrong?- I'm sorry! I blurt out as I struggle into a sitting position. -
No
I want to be such an emotional wreck all the time, just… Fuck it. Just all
the time
I think about what it would be like to be here alone. He is so happy
I am so that I can be here with you.
- Me too.Chapter thirty-six

NO THAN

WHEN DOES THE TIME COME FOR A MAN TO TELL SOMEONE

HE'S IN LOVE
into it?
I didn't plan on falling in love with someone this year. I've never been
in love, so I have no idea how to tell Stas this
so that I don't chase him. Only a few days ago, in front of others
he said, I'm his friend, and suddenly all I can think of is,
how do I pronounce that particular word? I must be losing my mind.
But I can't help it, it's always on the tip of my tongue.
Perhaps my nervousness stems from the knowledge that he is unlucky
a series of events brought us to where we are now—a
into an amazingly lucky situation - something that doesn't happen often.
I feel lucky. It's the only word that seems to fit, because
things could have turned out completely differently.
I could rave about her beauty for hours. I could write everything down
every little freckle, every pale wrinkle, every single one of his body
square centimeter. Anastasia is like the sun, warm and dazzling
beautiful. But to be honest, that's not what makes it so important
for me.
I am in love with her determination and commitment, her tenderness
side, that he can always tell me exactly how
you feel and why, it doesn't matter how uncomfortable it makes you at first
himself.
He taught me that communication is not everything
it's perfect and we have no disagreements. It means we work together
on the imperfect part, and that even if we don't agree, at least we know the
other
why do you feel the way you do, even if it doesn't make us change our
minds.
We are still independent people, but together we are independent people,
and
i never knew a relationship could work like that.He cares about me and my
happiness above all else. You make me do it
to study, he encourages me to talk about my mother. I could just
lie here and list all the things you do in order to
to be the version of myself that I want to be. He is my best friend.
I need to stop waiting for it to hit
heaven stone because i know things don't have to be perfect and
we are both stubborn and determined enough to get it right
let's bring the parts that don't work.
I feel it is too early to make such statements
let me do Damn, it's too early to be in love. Three months
and not even a little long time, but when one spends so much time
together as we are, I think my confidence can be forgiven.
I should definitely just tell him.
Pulling myself out of the contagion of my thoughts, I stroke his face
with my thumb.
- We can pick up the Christmas decorations if the lack of them makes you
sad. Now
we can stand up to him right away.
- Its not about that. I do not care. I just hate the thought of
that you would have come here alone anyway, and not even with your
father
he bothered to put up a Christmas tree for you. Or to Sasha! Poor
Sasha.
"They're hardly here." They usually spend their time in the resort -
I explain. "I won't take it upon myself, I swear." But we can go and
we can buy a Christmas tree if you want. It did not even occur to me. I
know it is
it's not like your parents' home. I should have warned you.
I'm sorry.
- No no! Please don't apologize to me! I'm sorry. Then
I'll cheer you up, I promise. - He shakes himself and forces a smile on his
face,
then chuckles when I furrow my brows. Stas climbs off me
and falls back on the mattress. "Oh my God," he moans at my cock
he twitches in my pants. "This bed is divine." So hot! Yet how the
so damn hot?
“I asked Betty to turn on the electric blanket when
bring the food.
"Betty is your other girl?" – A raises his leg, pulls a
on his boot, then drops it next to the bed."Betty is our housekeeper." Va is
about a hundred years old and has been working for years
to my family,” I say as I watch Stassie try
to get rid of the other's boots as well, but he doesn't give up
easily. "He refuses to retire, and he does it the best in the world."
mashed potatoes. He is very nice, you will love him. However, not now
we will meet him - I told him to take some
freelance and spend the holidays cheating… Need a little help?
Stas gives up trying to take off his sweatshirt, which
it got tangled in her hair and caught in her watch at the same time. He
looks at me
above his arm.
"I'm just trying to undress to seduce you, but oh well, undress."
exhausting in this climate. I should have pulled my pants down
while leaning forward.
He continues to fidget until he finally breaks free, but that's it
it just reveals another layer. I also kick off my boots and
I pull on my zipper because I don't want to be left behind. One is big
the downside of being in the mountains is that it takes forever
to undress. In the morning, before we left for the airport, I got him
Anastasia to dress in good layers, because I thought that first the
he wants to see a lake, but I don't think that has even occurred to him yet.
"Done!" he exclaims. He's out of breath, but his mouth is in a smug grin
drags on. "I beat you."
Anastasia Allen is the only one who can do a pre-sex contest
from undressing to then declare himself the winner. The bed climbs up
at the end and leans against the headrest, then leaves with a comic half-
smile on his face
he watches me look at him.
After I finally kick off my boxers, I start to climb towards him and then
I stop when his foot presses against the center of my chest. I kneel down
I grab his leg and press my mouth to his ankle, and he giggles.
"What do you get for winning?"
She flinches as my teeth touch her skin, then purses her lips,
while pretending to ponder this.
"Um." Couldn't you be my prize? he murmurs, then his eyes light up,
when I nod. "I want to watch you come to your senses."
I almost choke.
He pulls his leg out of my grasp and places it back on the bed, perfect view
providing me with this pink, wet pussy. I could spend hoursspend it trying
to predict what Anastasia is going to do
to do or say without ever being right.
"Stop looking at me like that," I say as I lean over his body. "That's right."
you stare with those big doe eyes of yours, as if you didn't just say that
you want to watch me beat you up.
He turns his chin up, his mouth searching for mine. It smells so good.
How the hell does it smell so good all the time? Sweet and mouth-watering
and
maddening. I pull his body to mine, then we turn around to a
to lie on my back while I adjust him so that he is in a riding seat
sit on my thigh.
"Hands behind your back, Allen."
He doesn't even know where to look, the way his gaze is on my face, the
straining one
it jumps between my abs and the hand gripping my cock. Saying his name
I moan, enjoying the surprise on his face, which is quickly something
became darker.
She sways, longing for my touch, which she won't find like this,
with her thighs spread wide and fidgeting as her eyes follow him moving up
and down
my hand.
"You're so fucking sexy," he says in a raspy voice with dark eyes.
"Let me touch you, please!"
"But I'm giving you just what you wanted." "I'm giving you the freedom."
my hand and pinch her nipple, and she moans in lust and frustration
hearing. As I move my hand faster and faster, it's a pleasure to lick
it starts up my spine, tingling and growing stronger.
My eyebrows run to my forehead curiously as Stas pulls away
from me. Carefully placing his hand on the bed next to my hip, he bends
down and
looking straight into my eyes. He leans even closer, careful not to touch
her
Shall I bring it.
- What are you doing? I ask as I change to an excruciatingly slow pace.
"What if I didn't even use my hands?" Can I touch you then?
"Open your mouth, baby."
You'd think I'd be in control in this situation, but
would be wrong. I'm fucking fascinated watching him as he almost from
the base
he licks and kisses my cock all the way to the glans, then stops,
to watch me hold my breath, desperate for it
wanting him to take me in his hot, wet mouth.But he doesn't. I can feel his
hot breath on my acorns, finally fucking close
there is, but then he returns to my balls, kissing and licking them
starts sucking gently.
Blowing out the breath I've been holding, I run my fingers through his hair
as
he pampers me with circular movements of his tongue.
"Fuck you, you paint so divinely."
Stas continues to tease me, touching me everywhere, only the
not my acorns, which pulsate and glisten with pre-secretion. I know that
he's going to do it until i get to the point where he's fucked
I'm ready to beg him.
I'm ready to beg right now.
He takes one last look at my tortured face and smiles—
he's clearly pleased with himself and I'm ready to fuck him until
until that smug grin fades from his face.
Slowly - and I mean slowly - he takes me in his mouth, me
I don't stop to raise my hips, speeding up the
process. A satisfied mhmm tingles my cock, then sucks it in
his face and tries to suck my soul out of my body.
God in fucking heaven.
I grab her hair and wrap the strands around my wrist, impromptu
holding them in a ponytail, then I just squeeze them, moving together is
regular
with his movements as he moves his head up and down.
He runs his fingernail along my inner thigh, causing me to jerk forward
my cock tightens against the back of her throat. For half a moment I'm
horrified that it is
maybe it's too much for him, but then with tears in his eyes, on his thick,
dark eyelashes
looks over me. Even so, he looks awfully smug for saying it out loud
she is choking on my cock. So I just keep rocking my hips, deep
and precisely, while Stassie hums merrily, every single one
responding perfectly to my movement.
Don't confess to him that you're in love with him while
suck you, you fucking loser.
My whole body is shaking.
"Baby, I'm leaving."
It was as if lightning was running through my body from his moaning
Stassie accelerates, moves clumsily, madly, until a wild fire blazes a
in my blood, consuming my whole body.“Fuck meeeeg” my entire
vocabulary is reduced to this, as the
I shoot myself down his throat.
Dazed and a little dizzy, I watch as he sits up and gives his thumbs up
he wipes the corner of his mouth, which he then puts into his mouth. My
belly is rocking wildly
as I try to come back down to earth. We have sex a lot and all the time
I have an amazing desire to sink into it, but this... This then...
Heavens. In the end, I will be forced to propose.
I pull him towards me, and with a small squeal he falls on my chest,
then he snuggles up to my side and puts his leg over my stomach. My lips
on his forehead
I squeeze her, hug her to me, then slap her ass, earning it
another hiss.
"Why did I get this?"
"How many times have you asked, 'Are we there yet?' Huh? The actions
there are consequences, Anastasia.
"Really?"
"Yeah," I chirp as I wave my hand again.
He lies on his stomach and raises his bottom a little, which is faintly there
the print of my hand blooms. He turns his head back to look at me while
his face
she plays in the same pale pink as her bottom.
"Are we there yet, Nathan?"

ONE OF THE POSITIVES OF BEING ALONE IN THE HOUSE IS

THAT
we can walk around naked.
Until I go downstairs to rummage through the fridge looking for some food,
Anastasia
I leave him in my bed, where he snoozes peacefully. I have a cardboard in
my hand
with orange juice, I stop in front of the floor-to-ceiling kitchen window,
which is the
it looks at the lake behind our house.
The white snow stretches for miles, bright and pristine, and no
it shows where the lake ends and the land begins. But I know—
I know it like the back of my hand. I've spent quite a bit of time on it, in it
and in it
around him over the years.
The warm body wraps around me from behind, followed by the person's
affectionate kiss
pressure on the middle of my back. Stassie dodges me, takes out the orange
juice
he lifts it from my hand to his mouth, then leans towards me and we look
at the landscape together.
- This is beautiful! he whispers.
"Not as much as you.""You're drooling."
- Maybe. But I'm still right.Chapter thirty-seven

ANAST ASIA

SOMETIMES HE JUST LOOKS AT ME, I am overwhelmed by the all-

consuming desire to
tell him i love him and i don't know what i can do about it.
I'm afraid that it will eventually fall out of me by accident, and that's it
somehow I burst the bubble of happiness that surrounds us.
I'm sure every new relationship starts out that way
you think your partner is perfect, but mine really is. Attentive and
nice, next to him I feel respected, and he does everything to
make me happy. Not in a material or lavish way, but by
that he actively cooperates with me, hand in hand, thus trying to get better
make my life I don't think there are many guys like that, especially college
guys
there would be someone who sees the most ugly corners of your soul and
still desires you.
The irony of it all is that if I were to tell him this, he would probably snap
at it,
that there is nothing in me that is ugly.
But it is, and I feel like I've been part of it for weeks
they would be exposed to public scrutiny and constantly slapped in my face
that with this
ruin it. Now that I'm here with Nathan, everyone for miles around
from another, I feel I can finally breathe, knowing that he is not waiting for
me
no unpleasant surprises. Part of me wishes not to
I should go back to L.A. but somehow I have a feeling that the
bubble of happiness will pop the moment Nate's father—
my new arch-enemy - he's coming home.
I can't even imagine what it must have been like to grow up in such a
place. from
as I stared at the huge estate with Nate from the kitchen window, the
my breath It's all covered in snow, but you can still see how huge it is.
But as impressive as it is, it feels so empty and whatever
I would give it for a baby photo of Nathan. Anything.
The ski resort has been in his father's family for generations, from father to
son
flies Nate likes to be called Nate or Nathan, but the full onehis name is
Nathaniel, and he was named after his great-great-great-great-great-great-
grandfather, who
founded the resort.
Nate has no intention of taking over the family business. His thought too
he hates that it would fall on him simply because he is a man, and argues
that
why would he need a ski resort when his sister is a
skiing genius? He grumbled something about the patriarchy screwing him
up, then
he continued to do what he had done before.
The resort is just fifteen minutes from here, and you can even see the
buildings
top from Nate's window. Nathan forbids me to ski while I'm here
because I've never tried it before. He doesn't want to risk it.
to get injured when I hopefully have a race next month. That
he said, we can come back later, and then he will take me to the beginner
slopes
with small children.
It felt good to listen to him plan the future while I could
like I don't know why he does it, but denial is useless at this point.
Whatever he says, I melt, and half the time I don't even know
how do i react so i just kiss her and then things go bad
and before I realize what is happening, I am already screaming his name
and stars
they dance before my eyes.
I have to single out Nathan's tail in his list of positive qualities.
His mouth too, and his fingers. And did I mention her body? And his face?
Geez, maybe I should tell him all of this and then tell him,
that I love you, then look for the million rooms of this huge house
one of which I can hide in.
Or I could hide for two days before he finds me.
"How much are you willing to dress up?"
I don't answer him right away, but pretend to think about it,
and I wouldn't know right away that the answer is not at all.
"It's not even about getting dressed now." But about how
later you will have to undress.
"If I promise to undress you, then you're willing."
dress up and come somewhere with me?
I hook my little finger into his.
"But only because you promised."
Getting dressed is much easier than undressing, and ten minutes later
Nate, skates in hand, is already pulling me out into the backyard.
"I can't believe this is the first time you've done this!"When Nate said we
could go ice skating on the frozen lake
in their back garden, I thought it was a bit over the top and that it would
be something small
I'm going to skate on a fish pond, but I'm probably never allowed to
I would underestimate him, because this is not a small pond.
I can't see exactly where it ends because it looks like it's at the far end
it splits into smaller streams that meander through the trees. Nate until
then
he taps on his phone until "Clair de Lnne" comes on, then
he flashed me a smile that made me melt a little.
- Would you dance with me?
We'll practice my choreography until every last bit of me is gone
it hurts and I can't see anything but my own breath. There is something
different about it
and it's refreshing to be doing all this outdoors, but something seems to be
missing.
I rack my brain trying to figure out what it could be, then
they hit you.
Brady. Nobody yells at us.
"Just wait here!" Nate says, then glides towards the house again. When
he returns a minute later, holding two hockey sticks and a small net.
"Let's use all that rage, Allen."
Finding out I'm terrible at hockey wasn't exactly on the list
among my holiday plans, especially in light of my current company.
I'm not used to being bad at anything - especially
not on the ice.
"Stop sulking!" Nate coos as he buries his face into my neck, what?
his warm mouth contrasts sharply with the sharp wind.
I won't stop sulking, even when he lets two goals in
shoot at him too.
"You're such a bitter loser, Stas."
"You're literally a professional hockey player!" Plus, you're a fucking giant,
aren't you?
you cover the whole gate! I shout over his laughter.
He glides over to me, presses his chest against my back, then reaches
forward and
he grabs my hand where I grip the racket while his face is
snuggles up to mine.
"Practice makes perfect, Anastasia," he whispers as he picks up the puck
he shoots straight into the goal.
Okay, that was sexy.
"Let's go in!" Soon it will be dark and I can feel him getting grumpier
or from hunger. "He gives me a quick kiss on my temple and then takes out
the racket."from my hand.
"I'm beginning to think you know me very well, Hawkins." –
I sigh, then spin and wrap my arms around his waist. "That."
I think I'll stick with figure skating.
His face is flushed from the cold, the tip of his nose is bright red, his eyes
it sparkles. I love seeing her smiling and teaching in her childhood home
me to something he loves.
He leans down and kisses my head, which is wrapped in a woolen hat.
"Well, it's nice that I know you well, Anastasia." You are the favorite
my subject.

NATE INSISTED THAT he cook dinner, which meant

that I had nothing left to do but to sit in front of the fireplace
to sit in my snowman overalls, and he brought me from the wine cellar,
flancos
let me sip wine.
By the time we finish dinner and sit down on the sofa to watch the
Home Alone! 2, I'm already a bit squeamish. Pointed is good, a
spiky is funny, spiky means my phone gallery is full
with ambush photos of Nate walking up and down the reindeer
in his overalls, I can't stop giggling.
We're going to be in trouble when I get to the point of being drunk because
I'm in a terribly emotional mood, so the risk is pretty high
that a drunken Stassie will confess all her feelings. Very
I am aware of the irony that although I always use to
to encourage everyone to communicate and share it
their feelings, right now I am not able to admit to my boyfriend that
I love her.
Nathan raises his beer to his lips, tilts the glass gently, and so do I
I look like a voyeur. He must feel my gaze on him, because a
raising his eyebrows slightly, he glances at me, then continues watching the
movie. Her hair
now it's a bit long, which causes small brown patches to start at the nape of
his neck
to curl up. So cu…
"Why are you staring?" he murmurs as he pulls her closer to him. THE
his closeness is more intoxicating than wine. It smells so good. Amazingly
and
overwhelmingly good.
"Anastasia?"I sigh and then take a big sip of my wine, breaking the silence.
How do I put what's on my mind into words without sounding like
would it have become my obsession? It has become a bit like that, but I
can't let it
you will find out.
"You're just so fucking beautiful, Nathan." Sometimes it sucks
it's hard to concentrate from him, you know? You understand how difficult
a word it is sometimes
like to concentrate on anything when you're here by my side and all kinds
of things
are you so effortlessly beautiful?
His eyes widen upon hearing my confession, and his face blushes a little.
Oh heavens, I think I embarrassed you. Probably better for me too
I should be embarrassed as I am at the moment, but it's so good to see
as his blood rushes to his face, he avoids my gaze and half-heartedly
scratches it
the animal.
"Um," he mutters as he grabs the wine glass he's not holding
my hand and raises it to his lips. "Same with you, Allen."
The movie ends when Nate switches to some sports channel, crosswise
he stretches out on the sofa and stretches his arm towards me so that I can
lie next to him. THE
I get butterflies in my stomach as I look down at her - she's so relaxed and
calm. It's like getting a glimpse of my future, like
huddling together watching a hockey game, drinking wine surrounded by
snow
in the house.
"Do you think you'll ever want to move back to Colorado?" –
I ask.
"Heavens, no way."
"Why do you hate your father so much?" "Heavens, he's unstoppable
tonight."
I am, but what's wrong with me? "Excuse me, you don't have to answer
that."
I know you've already said this and that, I just feel like it's different
is behind it.
He tucks my hair behind my ear with one hand, then for a moment
he holds my face in his palm.
"You can ask me anything, Stas." I'm not sure that the
hate is the most appropriate word, he explains. "Mom was sick for a long
time,
before he died, dad hired all these private nurses to
take care of him, so that he was fully provided for, but father hardly saw
him.
He buried himself in work. Betty cooked dinner, father came out to eat,
then
lost track again. He saw Sasha on the slopes, but otherwise it was like
something
would have been a ghost.I take his hand and squeeze it consolingly. I
already knew that
that Nathan's mother, Mila, died of a rare blood disorder when
Nate was in eighth grade.
"In a nutshell, my father cheated on his dying wife with a twenty-five-year-
old."
with a ski instructor who worked at the resort. "My stomach turns as I
I absorb his words, and my heart immediately tightens, as the
I mean teenage Nathan. "I remember that it was all long before that."
it could have started that mother would have been ill. Then a few years
later,
when robbie had that accident it happened at the resort. The hospital
his bills have skyrocketed and the Hamlets are rich, that's good
their health insurance, but dad refused to help, even though that's why
the company insurance.
I already knew that Robbie was injured in a skiing accident, but
it never occurred to me that it could happen here. How at all
does a teenager process this?
"Dad was convinced that Robbie's family owned all the petas."
will sue him - he behaved so strangely. He stuck his head in the sand for
weeks,
until then Mr. H had no choice but to go to a lawyer
to turn, which he didn't want to do anyway. The Hamlets loved it
my mother and have always treated me as their own son.
"This is so horrible," I whisper as I squeeze even harder
hand.
"I will never forgive my father for these things." I think,
by now, so many years later, the guilt had awakened in him. I think,
i already mentioned that dad owns the house in maple hills - at the end of
freshman year
he took He paid for the garage to be converted into Robbie's room. That
have an accessible bathroom and everything you need. Strange
was, we didn't really find a suitable place to live, and then one day
only father calls to say that he bought a house on Maple Avenue and that
the place is up
will be renewed by the time the second year begins.
"I'm sorry, Nathan." This is too much.
He flashes me my favorite smile, then pulls me to his warm body,
he wraps his arms around me and presses a kiss to my forehead.
"It's okay, there are people who have a much worse line than me." No
I'm too narrow-minded not to realize how privileged he is
situation, and that this is the first world problem
textbook example. Dad taught me exactly what not to doas a father… so
our kids will be fine. Wait, no, wait, that's it
so it came out wrong. Oh, heavens.
Now it's my turn to blush. Nate freezes beneath me,
none of us speak. What the hell does one say exactly in this case? THE
wine drunk Stassie is not the right person for this conversation because
for some reason what's in my head doesn't come out of my mouth.
"I want to adopt forever."
Nate squeezes a little harder.
- I'm in.
"This is what I always wanted from the start, but it's huge to squeeze out of
myself."
your child would destroy my vagina. I mean, it would absolutely ruin it.
- I bought.

I'M STILL HALF Asleep when I turn over in bed and Nate
I reach for his side, where instead I find only a note.

I went to take care of something super secret,

but I will come soon.
Have a good sniff.
N
U.I.: I made you a smoothie, it's in the fridge

There are so many options that I don't even know what to start with.
Finally, I start with the smoothie, which, standing in my new favorite
place, a
I eat it looking at the back garden. It's as beautiful as it gets
it would have been copied here from some Christmas card. It doesn't seem
real.
It takes me about ten seconds to figure out what I want
do. I quickly find my skates and jacket and then
I head out to my new favorite ice rink.
I don't even ice dance, I just enjoy the spectacle when I can
I notice a deer watching me from the distant trees. Living in L.A
the last few years have been quite a drag, after all my life before that
I was able to enjoy life in Washington.
In Maple Hills, the closest thing to wildlife is the student union
quarter.The deer steps on the frozen ground, running through the trees, so
one
I glide a little closer. I forgot to ask Nathan where
leads this part of the lake, but as they bend over the trees while everything
small, frozen drops of water glisten on their branches, as if from a movie
would have been conjured here.
As I reach the edge of the forest, the deer is still watching me from the
trees,
but then my phone rings, which scares him away. I take off my gloves,
and I raise the phone to my ear a little grumpily.
"Hello?"
"Hey, where are you?" Nate asks. "I just got back and nowhere."
I can't find you either.
"I was just trying to make friends with a deer, but your call scared him off"
I grunt, scanning the trees with my gaze.
"With a deer?" Where are you?
"I skate on the edge of the forest." Just like Snow White
I would have had a moment and everything.
"Anastasia, it's not safe…"
But I can't hear the end of his sentence.
Because the ice cracks under my feet, and the water at that moment
it paralyzes my whole body that my head falls below the surface.Chapter
thirty-eight

NO THAN

I NEVER WANTED TO BE THE GUY who fights his way through

Christmas Eve
on business, but here you go, I'm here.
I'm surrounded by panicked men pointing everywhere in terror,
clearly now getting the things you've been wanting for weeks
they should have bought it earlier.
I ordered Stassie's main gift to the house so I wouldn't have to try
to travel with, but Sasha was not at home when the courier arrived, father
and he said it was a wrong address and he didn't take it.
So I've been arguing with different companies for two weeks now, but last
night
they finally sent me an email to go get the gift at the store, which it
means I reluctantly dragged myself here.
I know you're going to be stuck on how much an iPad cost, but
I thought about it. And you can't be mad at me for thinking it through,
right?
Your therapy sessions are done via video call because he is your doctor
He's in Washington, but he doesn't have his own tablet, so he always has
to
Borrow Lola's. I can't give him mine because
I take notes in class and my entire schedule is programmed into it.
Which brings us to the second bonus point: digital
for deadline diary. I already know that Stassie's deadline diary is one
it started as a table full of stickers, but I feel it's time
to move to another level. I think—no, I am convinced—
that you will be able to easily change your schedule - which is possible
With an iPad, you will be able to be more flexible with yourself.
It's such psychology bullshit, I know, but as soon as you don't stress you will
on it anymore and starts using it, this gift will help him a lot.
I understand your concern. Our financial situation is different, not even
that
a bit. He once said he couldn't miss work because “no
everyone has daddy's money in their account there", and he was right. But
notI expect you to buy me something expensive. I'm not looking forward to
it at all
away to take anything, because being here with me is more than enough.
She cried at the thought of spending Christmas alone. There is
a friend of mine who cries because of my theoretical unhappiness.
How can this be my life? I must mean a lot to him, right?
at least I managed to convince myself of that, so I'll let you know tomorrow
I will admit that I am in love with him. Christmas is a great time to
to give voice to one's feelings, right?
Right?
The drive home is taking much longer than I would like. There is nothing
traffic, I'm just impatient and can't wait to
to get home to my girlfriend. I wonder how much of the house he searched
while I was away. I fully expect to find it in the living room
on it, surrounded by a pile of objects, about which he wants an
explanation, as soon as
I'll be back. I know you really want to see some baby photos, don't you?
at least some proof that I was once a child, because
there is not a single picture of me in the house.
Fortunately, when I walk through the door, Stas is nowhere to be seen, nor
is he dead
I can put the bag under my bed to wait there until I come in later
I don't pack.
With my ears pricked, I crawl through the house looking for him, but
wherever
I look, Stas is nowhere to be found. Finally, when I have the last drop of
patience
sold out, I pull out my phone and click on his name.
"Hello?" he gasps.
"Hey, where are you?" I ask, trying to get his answer from his phone
beyond the noise of the howling wind. "I just got back and nowhere."
i will find you
"I was just trying to make friends with a deer, but your call scared him off"
he growls quietly.
"With a deer?" Where are you?
"I'm skating on the edge of the forest," he answers, and my heart is next to
my stomach
falling "I would have had such a Snow White moment and all."
The nausea escapes me as I rush to the back exit, and then
I quickly start towards the lake, as fast as my legs can take me.
"Anastasia, it's not safe." Carefully make your way back.
But I know he can't hear me, because the line goes dead, and then it's
blood-curdling
I hear screams in the distance.THEY SAY THAT WHEN something
traumatic happens, as if
time would stop, but I don't think they are right.
As my boots crunch on the snow, I feel them running away one by one
the seconds next to me. Every thought seems to slide through the
in my head and unable to concentrate amidst the chaos.
Stassie is strong, so fucking strong, and she can swim - with my own two
eyes
I saw him swimming. Heading towards the lake, the bright orange catches
my eye
on a life belt. Mom put him there with dad when Sasha started walking -
since we lived so close to such a large body of water, he was terrified that
it's only a matter of time before an accident happens. I'll take off the life
belt
from its stand and carry it with me further towards the forest.
The belt keeps hitting my hip as I run faster than
anytime ever, my vision is clouded by the vapor of my breath, but then
I'll take a look. There is a huge hole in the ice, the small, broken pieces of
the
they float on water. Each safety video, article, or presentation—
everyone with an iota of common sense - warns you not to rush a
on thin or unstable ice. However, I am not uncertain
I know this lake better than anyone else, and that's why I knew that Stas
in danger.
I drop to my knees where I know the ice is starting to thin, and then
I start to climb towards the hole. My heart is pounding like it's about to
burst
from my chest. All I can think is For heaven's sake please
stay alive
I am inches from the cracked edge of the ice when the surface of the water
it starts to ripple, then Stassie's head pops up, her eyes one of terror
it meets mine for a moment, then sinks again. Panicking. Me too
I'm fucking panicking as I dip my hand in the water something like that
searching for a part of his body that I can cling to.
Nothing.
I try to distribute my weight evenly, rather on my legs
heavy like my chest, I do everything exactly as it should be
as I throw the life belt into the water, hoping it will somehow find it.
Jumping after that isn't exactly the best idea - I might get a shock too, but
here it is
at the moment I have no better idea, so the best way to
to survive if my clothes don't come off.That we both survive.
I had already taken off my jacket when the life belt moved next to me
rope. Carefully, lest I crack the ice beneath me, I turn,
then my breath stops as soon as I see his little hand on the edge of the life
belt
to hold on to, her skin blue against its gaudy orange. The other hand
also appears, and then I see the top of his head, so I pull on the rope,
and I watch as his body pulls to the edge of the ice.
"Stas, are you okay?" Can you speak? You have to hold on, I'm about to
pull you out -
I tell him in horror, my voice cracking with each syllable
it shakes.
Nothing.
I climb back, pulling towards the safer part, and pull the
rope until I feel her body tighten against the edge of the hole.
I'm gasping for air, swearing, I'm about to cry, but I keep pulling
then finally, finally, his body slides out onto the ice. I pull until
I don't catch a glimpse of his skates, from which I know his whole body is
out
is from the water. When we are far enough from danger, I stand up,
I rip the life belt off him and flip him over onto his back.
Her lips were blue, her delicate face was frighteningly pale, her eyes closed.
"Anastasia?" - I shout as I press my ear to it, some kind of voice,
a breath, searching for anything.
He's not breathing.
My body moves by itself, I lift his chin and pinch his nose,
then I lower my mouth to his and blow into him until he's gone
his chest rises. I pull on the zipper of his jacket, but it's frozen,
so I pull it until it breaks, then my hand with laced fingers
I place it on her sternum and press rhythmically until it goes away
it's time for another blow.
His chest rises and falls, then rises again, and then
he begins to spit, cough and gag, ridding himself of the water he has
swallowed.
- Oh, my God. I already thought I lost you, I whisper
as I hold him in my arms. Anastasia closes her eyes again, but now
it's already breathing on its own, which gives me enough time to wrap the
into the jacket that I took off earlier, then start running back towards the
house.
I hurry up the stairs to the bathroom, because there is nothing
I desire nothing more than to put an end to his wild trembling. Yet
he always didn't say a word - I have no choice but to put him downto the
edge of the tub so I can pull off his skates. When you're sure
I'm sure it's sitting stable, I turn to the shower and turn on the
to a suitable temperature.
“Nate,” Stassie whispers. Her lips are now a bit more human in color,
like blue.
"I'm here," I try to reassure him while desperately
trying to prevent my emotions from coming out a
from my voice. I put it under the warm water, which is in the middle of her
body
i focus and then cringe when he hisses and starts to cry. –
I know it stings. I'm so sorry baby. "The shower is just that."
it's set to lukewarm, but to him it's like a jug right now
boiling water would be poured over it.
As I pull off his coat and sweatshirt, more than anything
I wish we could go back to yesterday when it was all about stripping
it was fun and laughter.
He slowly raises his hand, allowing me to free him from his underwear.
"You're so good, Stas, so good." I'm so fucking proud
to you Everything will be fine. We'll warm you up nicely, then I'll take you
to the doctor.
Everything is alright.
I raise the temperature of the water a little, then squat down to drain the
pants and socks until he is standing naked in the shower. His skin
still ice cold in my hand.
As the adrenaline starts to leave my body, I suddenly realize
what happened while Stas is standing in front of me sobbing and hugging
his body. I
I also strip naked, then I take a step towards him, his body against mine
I pull and turn the temperature even higher as I try
to comfort her as she cries.
Stas raises his head and for the first time properly looks me in the eyes – his
face
full of tears, but now the terror has disappeared from his eyes, and he is
confused
took over.
"I thought I was going to die."
I can't stop my eyes from watering too,
as I also thought he was going to die.
I gently press my lips to his, and when the kiss ends,
I rest my forehead on the top of his head.
"I promised that I would never let you down or fail you,
Anastasia. I will always be there to save you.His arms tighten around my
waist, and his breath hitches as it still does
I turn the water a little warmer. Color begins to return to his face and the
her tears start to dry up. He bites his lip as he bites my thumb
I draw it under his eyes.
"I love you, Nathan." He coughs a few times, trying to get rid of his voice
from his rough, croaking sound. "And it's not just something, I don't even
know
trauma response. I'm in love with you and even then it was on my mind,
when the ice broke under me. He is aware of how long ago
I'm with this and I haven't even told you. That I will
to die that you don't even have a clue about it and because of that so much
I am angry at myself. I love you and I'm sorry I didn't tell you
to you the moment I realized it.
He said it three times and my brain still didn't get it
to process.
"I love you too," I finally stammer out. "So fucking."
I'm in love with you, Anastasia.

I WAKE UP FROM MY NIGHTMARE WITH ALL OF MY BODY

CONSOLIDATED, then startled
I look around. Stassie is fast asleep connected to countless machines that
communicate
with me that he is well and not dead as I saw in my dream.
I didn't exactly expect that on the morning of Christmas Day the
I wake up at Vail Health Hospital, but I didn't expect it to be my girlfriend
almost suffocating, so I don't pull myself up on the unexpected road a
for emergency.
As soon as Stas stopped shaking, I dressed him again, that's all
layering as much as her fragile little body could handle, then I put her in
the
into the car and brought him to the hospital.
I expected to be yelled at for not calling an ambulance
I called, which I should have done anyway, but I think it was enough
to take a single look at my finished picture and rather ignore it
from this.
The doctor praised me for returning to normal so safely
I took Stas' body temperature, and after examining him, he declared that
everything is alright.
As soon as Stassie heard "everything is fine" she would have gone
home, not realizing that neither the hospital staff nor I would let him
gonowhere. I haven't left his side since yesterday - he can even do that
I used to swipe my credit card until the hospital got through
put him in a better ward and they didn't even bring me a bed to
I don't have to go.
That bed is still perfectly made as soon as you are alone
we stayed, I climbed in next to Stas. When the nurse came in to check
his vital signs, I pretended to be asleep so as not to disturb him from bed.
- Merry Christmas! Stassie whispers.
"Good morning, baby," I answer, then press a kiss to her temple. –
How do you feel?
"As if there was no need for me to be on an IV,
and as if I would much rather be at home with you in our little overalls.
– He playfully presses his fingers against my side. "I'm fine, Nathan."
seriously. It's Christmas, can we get out of here please?
"Not until they examine me."
"They've already checked." I'm fine, let's get out of here.
My gaze wanders to the infusion thrust into his hand.
"Yeah, you look like that."
"But at least I'm not dead." "Giggle seeing my shocked face."
start. - Too early?
"It will always be too soon."Chapter Thirty-Nine

ANAST ASIA

LAST WEEK ITSELF was the calm after the storm.

Our Christmas morning discussion about my medical condition
after that, Nate laced our fingers together and raised my hand to his lips.
"Shut up, Anastasia." Let me take care of you, please.
The hospital bed was not as comfortable as Nathan's huge, heated one
the mattress, the upholstery and the burping were not exactly the type for
which
I'm used to it. Everyone was very nice to me and no one
condemned me for my idiotic decision to venture out alone
into dangerous terrain.
I was physically and mentally exhausted, but compared to the
circumstances
I was in a good mood. Nathan practically forced the doctor to
check again while the nurse started my IV.
"He's quite protective, isn't he?" the nurse giggled.
"Very," I nodded in agreement. "But only because he cares."
so i don't mind.
"Ah, young love."
Even after the most traumatic day and night of my life,
when Nate glanced at me from the counter where he had collected the
my final report, his smile made my whole body hum happily.
The drive back to the house was quiet, with only George Michael playing
on the radio,
as Nate beat the beat on my thigh. When one stopped
at red, he looked at me.
"What are you smiling about?"
"Remember when you were drunk singing this song in the shower?" –
I ask, recalling when Nathan screamed "Last
Christmas" two weeks earlier.
"Hey!" he squeezed my thigh. "As soon as the night ends, holy."
it is your duty to forget all drunken madness. This is the rule
Allen. He gave me another look with a wide grin. - I love you.I placed my
hand on his hand warming my thigh.
- I love you too.
We got back to the house late in the morning and we were both too tired
to put any energy into Christmas, which is an attitude
then it defined the whole coming week. He felt about it
relief to be back in Nate's bed, it didn't last
longer than I had hoped, as I slowly began to realize what had happened
was real
weight.
It all started when I called my parents from Nate's phone.
I realized that since my phone was resting at the bottom of the lake, it must
be my mother's
they will try to catch up to wish you a Merry Christmas. Mother and father
he completely lost his faith and I had to swear to heaven and earth that he
was fine
I am, because there was no other way to talk them out of it
fly here.
The nightmares were horrible when in my own sweat
bathing, I woke up terrified, Nathan was always there to put me back to
sleep.
If hockey didn't work out for him, he'd make a pretty good nurse. Every day
he took me to the spa of the resort, where he signed up for the treatments
one after the other, that a
there must not be a single part of my body that does not loosen.
Even now, a week later, every fire in the house is burning because he fears
to make me sick. The advantage is that Nate is basically on two legs
running radiator is that he was forced to wear boxers thanks to the extra
heat
to undress so as not to be fried.
I really enjoy the sight and it has become a mania for me to stare at him
Nate is pacing up and down trying to help me get back to myself
let me feel myself.
"Stop staring at my ass," he shouts, leaning into the fridge. His head
it practically rests on the shelf and pretends to be something to eat
he would search for, when in fact he is trying to cool himself off. No
thought things through when he decided to make a stove
from the apartment, but he doesn't even hear me when I assure him that
I'm fine,
I'm not even serious now.
"The lake is cold enough if you want to cool off," I tell him.
The refrigerator door slams shut, and Nate turns to me with a grumpy face.
It is so
he's cute when he's grumpy. It should be scary now
with his lips and his furrowed brows? If it looks like this during the
matches,
then he won't scare anyone.- Not funny.
He grabs it under the arch that separates the kitchen from the living room,
then throws it down
yourself on the sofa next to me. I climb into his lap, brush his hair back and
I press a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"Hey, morcipophus." It's over, okay? I am safe.
You saved me and I am perfectly healthy. I'm dying to eat this
in the heat, but I'm fine anyway.
"An estimate?"
"It's an understatement." Don't you want to unwrap your Christmas
presents?
Maybe we should line it up before the new year. "None of us were."
just in the mood for the holidays, so our gifts are still the
they end up in a suitcase.
"I thought you had already given me my present."
I roll my eyes and climb off of him.
"You enjoying me isn't a fucking Christmas present."
Nathan.
"But I'll be in a very festive mood."
He just manages to dodge the pillow I pick up and throw at him,
while muttering something about how I won't get into the
to the throwaway team.
"Would you bring the gift suitcase here, please?" - you blew
hands on hips. "I have to do something upstairs."
Not caring about the strange look he gave me, I hurried up
stairs, almost flying over the steps, until I reach the door, which
I open it, then rummage through his closet looking for the bag that
I hid it there when we arrived.
I do what I have to do, grab a cloak, then hurry back to the
to the ground floor. Meanwhile, Nate unpacked the presents and arranged
them in piles
them, and now, with crossed legs, he is patiently waiting for his cup
next to.
- Are you ready?
We throw ourselves on the piles of gifts at the same time, almost drowning
in the
into the things we have received from our loved ones, until there is nothing
left but what we have
we bought each other.
"I didn't buy you much," I begin as I hand it to him
bag full of gifts. "Start with the one with the blue ribbon, but, um,
yes. It's so hard to shop for you, has anyone ever told you that?Nate
handed me an exact same bag and a nice kiss
mark on my forehead.
"You are the most wonderful gift, Anastasia."
I rip open the first gift that holds the two cutest pajamas I have
I've ever seen.
"You said you wanted something to wear around the house and you didn't."
I could choose…
"I love them, Nathan, thank you!" I say as I swipe through the
my hand on the satin. - Now it's your turn! He tears the paper until it's in
his lap
the leggings don't fall off. It is held in front by the leopard and zebra print
leggings and raises an eyebrow. "I couldn't choose either..."
We take turns unwrapping the presents, laughing merrily, until
Nate doesn't put his hands behind his back for once.
"I completely forgot about it, so I didn't have time to pack it,
so now close your eyes and put your hand here.
"If it's your dick, Well…"
"Shut up and do it nicely, please," he growls, squirming. The
following his instructions, I hold both hands in front of me before
something
puts weight on my palm. "Okay, you can open your eyes."
My eyes widen the moment I see the iPad-
box. Nate nervously gnaws at the corner of his thumb and his knees
bounce up and down
he jumps as he watches me expectantly. I don't know what to say
so I keep staring at the box.
"Are you angry?"
I quickly shake my head.
"No," I say in a halting voice.
"Do you like it?" I bought it to always be there for your therapy and
there is this cool app that I will download for you. Such a digital one
deadline diary, and you can also take notes in class and…
"Nate, I love it." I'm just amazed at how generous you are
obsession. I don't know what to say, thank you so much! "He bought me
one."
damn iPad, just so I can talk at any time
with my therapist. How can this guy be real? - Seriously,
Thanks.
"You're welcome, baby." I'm so fucking relieved to like—
he admits as he exhales. "Okay, the last gift, let's see."For the last time, I
watch him tear open the wrapping paper and take it off
gift box top. His mouth narrows into a thin line, and then he looks up
questioningly
towards me.
"Is it empty?"
I kneel down and slowly untie the cloak I'm wearing until it is
it slips off my shoulder and falls to the floor behind me.
"I cheated a little." It's more like a gift to me, but I thought so
you will like it too. – The Titans jersey is a bit big on me, but just right
it covers my upper thighs. Nate's eyes are practically black, as
he runs his eyes over me. "I haven't even shown the best part yet." –
I slowly turn my back to him and pull my hair over my shoulder.
“Hawkins,” he says with a tenderness in his voice that he's never seen
before
I heard from him before. "My name is on your shirt."
I lean forward so that the shirt slides up my bottom, just enough
revealing of myself to make me act.
"You look so damn good, Anastasia." Jeez. "After one."
week he treats me like I'm made of glass, it feels like his body is
it's tense for me, a terribly pleasant change. His mouth wanders along the
on the side of my neck as his hand slips under the hem of my shirt. "I want
you so."
fuck it while you're wearing it, okay?
- Yes, Captain. "He grabs my ass, and I get excited." - There is a
my idea. Could you lie down on the kitchen island?Chapter Fortieth

NO THAN

WHEN ANASTASIA POSTED a motivational picture in the morning

with the
captioned A day is only as good as you make it, I thought
this will be just another example of how my Morci girlfriend feeds it
internet with his feigned optimism.
But it seems that New Year's Eve puts him in a good mood, as he is naked
I'm lying on the kitchen island with my hands tied above my head
with a ribbon taken from a Christmas present.
To be completely honest, I have no idea how I ended up
in this situation. My girlfriend is a ready-made creative visionary - that's
what she claims
– so when he told me to get rid of my boxers and
lie down on the counter, I did so without any hesitation.
What can I say anyway? I am a weak man.
I doubt there is a guy who would stop to question what he wants
the girl, if she stood in front of him in his shirt, without panties. He is
completely helpless
I am terribly talented, but in his commanding hands.
I can hear him stirring something in the fridge.
"Stassie, what are you doing?"
"Patience is a great virtue, Hawkins," he chirps while playing a congo
a sound is heard, as if dirty bottles are hitting each other.
"I'm not feeling very virtuous at the moment, Anastasia—"
I grunt as I tug on the tape. "On the contrary."
His feet stomp softly on the tiles. Whatever it is that you took out a
from the fridge, puts it down next to me, so that I can't see it, then climbs
up first
on the counter, then on me, and sits on my hip in a riding position. He
hasn't done anything yet
no, I'm already stiff, my cock to the warmth between her thighs
tense up. Stas starts to fumble at this and moans softly, his eyes are fucked
she glistens as she looks down at me and runs her gaze over my body.
"You're so fucking sexy."Stassie keeps calling me beautiful, even when she
is
I just woke up. This took me a bit by surprise at first. At the beginning
I still didn't know what to think of this - it was somehow instilled in me
that it was for me
I have to compliment him, and believe me, I did, but as it turns out,
I also like to hear compliments.
And she doesn't just call her beautiful, she calls her kind and smart, too
to countless other things. To listen to him gushing about how
how much he likes me for me, how special I am
for him, more than I ever thought I could expect
in connection.
But hearing him call me sexy while I'm tied up is a
my hard cock is stretched between her legs, I fucking love it
a whole new level of my girlfriend.
He reaches for something I can't see, then I hear a snap
cap's characteristic sound. My blood is practically bubbling with
excitement,
when I see the whipped cream bottle in his hand. The nozzle to his mouth
he raises it, then his eyes widen as he puts some on his tongue.
"Mmmm."
My hips twitch and tighten with his wetness. Stas mouth to mine
folds it, I can taste the sweet taste of whipped cream on his tongue.
He sits up again and reaches for the whipped cream again, then
immediately squeezes one
strip into the hollow between my abs. Even before just like a complainer
I could talk about how cold it is, his lips are already touching my skin,
then he licks my belly. He even smiles comically when
she can feel my cock twitching.
Her hips are rocking back and forth as my cock is between her labia
shut up. My hand is stretching the tape, and my body is fidgeting
impatiently
under.
"I want to be inside you."
Stassie clicks her tongue and picks up another bottle.
"Only after you've begged me, Hawkins."
I was about to give him a snappy answer when suddenly the bell rang
alarm, indicating that the front door has been opened.
"Nate?" Sasha shouts, her lively voice echoing throughout the house.
Anastasia's eyes widen and all the blood immediately drains from her face.
"What the hell?"I tug on my hand until I free myself, then
we both quickly jump to the floor and I grab my boxers.
"Wait a minute, Sasha!" I shout as I pull him in front of me
Stassie. The kitchen door swings open, and Sasha runs it wildly
his gaze between me and Stassie.
"Blow!" he screams. "You two… Sigh!" Nate! I cook here. Oh sweet
My God! – He wrinkles his nose, his face twitches into a disgusted grimace.
His head
when turned away, the cold shakes. "You must be Stassie." I would hug
you, but because of that
I think it would be pretty cool for everyone.
Stas nervously shifts his weight and head from one leg to the other
she folds it down so that her long hair covers her reddened face, but still
he nods and waves to Sasha.
I really didn't want the two most important women in my life to be like this
get to know each other.
"What the hell are you doing here, Sasha?" It was like you were going to be
St. Bartson.
"I wrote, I even invited you, you asshole." You didn't pick it up - puffs my
sister.
He crosses his arms in front of his chest and still doesn't look at me. –
Do you want me to bore you with the details of our father's latest betrayal?
you'd rather let your girlfriend wear some pants, you know, more
before dad brings the bags in from the car?
Betrayal?
"Give me five minutes." We'll be right back, I promise, as the stairs head
that way
I start to guide the embarrassed Anastasia towards her, using what
we can avoid father seeing him.
"You're so rich you have two flights of stairs," Stassie whispers.
"For your sake, I will be modest and buy us a house that
which has only one staircase. Will that make you happy? - I gulp
while I grip her ass, which fits right there in front of me, as
we climb the stairs. "I'm so sorry about all of this, baby." Not even
I remember the last time I looked at it on my phone.
Arriving in my room, Stas immediately finds his panties and a pair of jeans,
and then
she ties her hair in a ponytail. I approach him from behind, my arm around
his waist
I weave, then I dig my face into his neck and take a big sniff of it
of honey and strawberry scent, which I love so much.
Stassie sighs and leans against my chest, then turns her head towards me
he kisses me.
"Your father is going to hate me, isn't he?"I can feel the nervousness
emanating from him - it shows on his face, in his posture,
she feels in his desperate kiss.
"Anastasia, listen here." You don't need that person's opinion
to worry about. I love you and I will count the minutes until you are gone
I can tell you from him.
"Then that's a yes," he says as he shakes my arm off of him. The
sitting on the bed waiting and watching me pull on a pair of jeans and a
sweater.
I hate that my father is here, that he managed to get away with it like that
our bubble. Going back to Maple Hills tomorrow night and so close
we were there to have a perfect week. No choking, nothing
discussion and nothing parents.
"Aren't you changing?" I ask, examining his shirt.
"Did your father ever watch a single match of yours?" "When I shake the."
nods my head knowingly. "Then no, they're not changing." Okay, let's get
over it
at work. And Nate, I love you too.
When we get back downstairs and walk hand in hand into the living room,
Sasha is sitting on the sofa munching on a sandwich while the TV is
blaring
Criminal Minds.
"Daddy went to the resort," he says, not taking his eyes off of her
about the series. "He's waiting for us there for lunch in an hour."
Sumptuous.
"Anastasia, this is Sasha, my little sister," I say, trying less
make this whole situation awkward. "Sash, this is my girlfriend, Stassie."
With this, I finally succeed in distracting him from the TV, which he does
right away
I regret it as soon as Sasha pulls on one perfectly shaped
his eyebrows.
"Why are you acting like we've never met?" Ten more minutes
it's not like I caught you cooking in the kitchen...
"Jeez, Sasha," I whimper as I run my hand along the
on my hair "That's not what happened." Can't you be nice?
– This is for the whipped cream, Nutella and strawberry ice cream sauce on
the counter
give it in - he answers with a mocking snort.
As he lists what's on the counter, I immediately get grumpier,
as they realize what exactly bothered them.
"And I'm really nice." Be glad I found you, not him
father. He turns his gaze to Stassie. "I'm really nice, I swear."I don't judge
you - well, I mean, just for being with my horrible brother
you walk
I throw myself down on the sofa opposite Sasha, while Anastasia
you are standing still. I'll pat the place next to me until
until he sits down, but his behavior is somehow off-kilter
would feel uncomfortable. I fucking hate that you're so embarrassed
after we had such a good time here.
"Why did you come back?" I thought you weren't traveling until the day
after tomorrow. That's exactly it
the reason is that we booked tickets for tomorrow.
"Lovely," Sasha moans, then turns down the TV and crosses her legs. –
He didn't take me on vacation, but for some kind of body conditioning
treatment
"get stronger" and, for all I know, some crap about being a better athlete
flies. I spent an entire hour on the beach. I told you yesterday
with dad that if you don't take me home right now, I'll never ski again,
so he reserved a seat for us on the next plane.
I wish I could pretend that I am
surprised, but I'm not - to tell the truth, just about that kind of crap
I would have expected it if I hadn't been distracted by other things
recently.
But foolishly I thought that perhaps father had taken it to heart
my advice.
My father always has his own plan. There is only one this afternoon
another twisted conspiracy, because why would people meet
with someone for the first time in a public place, if that someone is already
there anyway
in his house?
"What's your mood?"
"As usual." It's like someone stuck a big stick in the
in his ass, which he can't get rid of. One flashed at Stassie
an almost threatening smile. "Do you have any experience with such
parents?"
in a relationship who want to control every moment of your life?
Stas laughs at this for the first time since Sasha's arrival home.
"My parents are very nice, sorry."
Sasha sits down and begins to ask Stas about every little thing in his life
details, and to his credit, Stas answers everything honestly. For what
we arrive at the resort, we are already best friends. It helps a lot in this
they have something in common. Well, one would think that this is the
the common thing is that they are both sports phenomena, but they are not
- but rather
that they both find it great fun to dance on my nerves.I don't see Sasha
nearly enough without dad, and I miss him terribly. That
missing a person who hides from it when father is not around -
I almost feel sorry for Anastasia for the person she is with
he just made friends, at that moment he will lose track of being a father
sits down at the table. I hope you understand and know that it's nothing
personal.
- All right? I ask Anastasia quietly
glancing at our hands as my fingertips begin to pinch
blood circulation. The maitre d' escorts us to dad's favorite table and
he hands us the menu. Not surprisingly, Dad is late for lunch, which he is
he organized it.
"I'd like a glass of Dom Pérignon," says Sasha casually looking at the menu
studied.
The guy gives me a horrified look as he is clearly accurate
he knows who we are, but he has no idea what is right now
answer. I will put an end to your suffering in a short way - I will take out
the menu
From Sasha's hand and I nod her head.
"She's only sixteen." Get him a can of soda or something.
"Bring him water," says a deep, familiar voice from behind me. –
Hello, Nathaniel, he says coolly. "And who can I respect in the
lady?"Chapter forty-one

ANAST ASIA

WHAT IS MY NAME?
How the hell can I not think of my own name?
Ian Hawkins is standing next to me like Darth Vader, his hand towards me
outstretched, ready to introduce myself, not even my lame name
by the way. Nate squeezes my knee. It's meant to be soothing, but only that
it reminds me to listen when I should be talking.
"This is Anastasia Allen, my girlfriend." Stas, this is my father, Ian
Hawkins—
Nate says calmly as he laces our fingers together.
Nate's father looks exactly how I imagine Nate in his thirties
Later. He is tall, square-jawed, with dark brown hair and large brown eyes
there is If he wasn't my newest archenemy, I'd even say so
he's handsome, but that's out of the question.
"Mr. Hawkins, nice to finally meet you!" I squeeze it out
of myself accompanied by the most artificial smile in the world, while I
shake it like that
and his hands, as if we were politicians. He sits down directly with me
face, and I can't wait to spend the whole lunch feeling awkward
make eye contact with him.
Although at the moment he is more interested in Sasha's dress.
"You didn't even think to take off what you were wearing on the plane?"
says Ian
roughly. It would be impossible to say that he traveled for fifteen hours - a
there is not a single crease in her clothes, her hair is perfectly styled. But
that's it
from a single sentence, the only one of which is a sneer directed at the
adolescent's daughter
His comment tells me everything I need to know about Ian Hawkins.
Sasha's whole posture changes, she pulls herself together, her chin drops.
I can't watch this.
"It seems to me that you're comfortable in your own skin, Sasha." I wish I
did too
I would have worn sweatpants - I say as cheerfully as I can
it just blows my mind.That's enough to get Ian's attention again—a
our eyes meet, but as much as I want to, I don't
I turn my head. I feel like I just gave it to her
permission to criticize, to judge me. I can see how
takes a look, the way his gaze wanders first to my face, then
walking down, he inspects my outfit. His mouth tightens.
"Just tell me about yourself, Anastasia."
"What would you like to know, Mr. Hawkins?"
- Feel free to just call me Ian and let's get on with it, there's no need for
that
for formality. Judging by the way my son is about to squeeze your hand
circulation, I'm sure he's very attached to you—
he says accompanied by a small laugh that ignores all good humor. - What
if
shall we start with where are you from?
– Originally from Seattle, Washington, but now Maple for a few years
I live in Hills for school.
Our drinks arrive, the waiters work diligently and silently
in the presence of their boss. Nate can't seem to take his eyes off his father,
but
he mumbles a "Thank you!", as he does with the hand he's using
he's not clutching mine, he's reaching for his Sprite.
"You're welcome, Nate!" says a sweet voice. We both look at the same time
up, and just like that we see a beautiful blonde woman putting down a vase
Ian
edge.
He has pretty green eyes and a smile, roughly the same age as us
blinding. He looks at Nate as if he knows him, and there's something in his
eyes that
which makes my skin tingle. An unpleasant feeling settles in
in my stomach, and then it takes my breath away when I realize that this is
it
the feeling is jealousy.
"I didn't know you were in town," she continues, completely
ignoring my existence. "You should have told me."
Nate's grip loosens, and then my heart sinks as he lets go
hand, but then reaches towards my face and tucks my hair behind my ear,
then
he puts his arm on the back of my chair and tickles my shoulder with his
fingers.
"You asked for it without ice, didn't you?" he asks, nodding towards the
drink
someone put it down in front of me.
More like the ice cubes floating in the drink and the steam running down
the side of the glass
I'm focusing on the woman Nathan is definitely dating
he went to bed sometime.I have to stop, this is all pointless. I never feel it
in Maple Hills
like this. There it doesn't bother me who has visited her bed, but here, her
father and
in front of her sister, I feel the white-hot envy running through my body.
"Come on?" Um, yes, but it doesn't matter.
Nate takes my glass in his hand and holds it out to her.
"He didn't ask for ice." "His voice is sharp, much sharper than ever before."
I've heard it too, and it's strange to see him so measured.
She looks shocked as she takes the glass from his hand while
he's still not looking at me - but he's looking a lot at Sasha, who has his
palm
he tries to hide his grin behind it. Too long goes by without
anyone would speak up.
"That's it, Ashley," Ian says slowly as the weirdness sinks in
into a small scene. "Bring Anastasia a drink without ice, as she asked, and
tell me."
Mark that we are ready to order.
His sharp tone snaps Ashley out of her reverie.
- Indeed sir.
"And Ashley?"
"Yes, Mr. Hawkins?" - the girl answers briskly, as her shaft spins
around.
– Anastasia is a member of the family and also our guest. I will do
as if you had enough decency to look at him at all,
and apologize to him for your mistake as you would anyone else
you could also do it with a guest. Don't let this happen again, or a new year
you can spend it looking for a job.
I need every single muscle in my head to work
state should not fall to the floor. Nathan starts squirming in his chair and
again
grabs my hand. Ian pours himself a glass of water and takes a sip
one of them.
- So where were we? At school. What are you studying?
I tell him that I am a third-year business management major
I am the only one who has already turned twenty-one, because a year later
I started school after I was adopted at the age of five, and to my credit
saying, Ian nods in the right places and asks the questions in turn.
My new drink arrives as Nate and Sasha sit in silence -
they're probably grateful they're not in the limelight. I will get a
little rest when the waiter comes to take our order. Nate
he leans over and presses his lips to my temple.- What do you want? –
Then he continues in a whisper: – I'm so proud of you, baby.
You are so good.
I can't answer him as Sasha is trying to order one
chicken burger with fries, which her father says no to.
- He asks for chicken and cashew nut salad, the dressing to go with the
salad.
"But dad, I…"
"No, Sasha."
I hate this and every critical thought that has ever crossed my mind
on my mind about my parents, now it weighs on me and it's suffocating
I feel guilty because they never made me feel like shit
as much as I feel right now just watching Ian like that
deals with Sasha. The words are out of my mouth before I can
I could stop them.
"The world doesn't come crashing down just because he eats a burger."
For the first time since we sat down here, Ian feels some sort of emotion
constantly indifferent on his face. He raises his eyebrows, his lips
he squeezes it and suddenly he doesn't look like Nathan at all. Only
he doesn't have the soft eyes and comical grin that Nathan has when he
raise your eyebrows in surprise.
"Not that you had anything to do with it, but Sasha did."
you will have a competition soon. You have to stick to your meal plan, he
warns
Ian.
"Me too, but one burger won't ruin your career."
If you want to eat a burger, let him eat it. I want a burger too - I snap
me too.
I don't know why I behave like this, why I pull it up on purpose
the man I want her to like me, even if I don't
I like. I can't help it. I want to protect Sasha from all this
thoughts that will haunt you about eating for a long time to come
even after her father no longer tells her what to eat.
I don't even want that French burger. I wanted a salad
to order.
Nate squeezes my knee in support.
"Can we have three chicken burgers, Mark?" Just no salad.
Mark glances at Ian, who places his menu on the table, then agrees
he nods as a sign. When Mark walks back into the kitchen, at length
exhaling with relief, I immediately feel the weight ofwhich I just did. Sasha
keeps her eyes fixed on her drink, and meanwhile the
gnawing on the skin of his thumb.
"I don't like my staff behaving so brazenly."
before, Ian says in an emotionless voice.
"Dad..." Nathan interrupts.
"I'm talking to both of you," he grumbles. "Maybe you enjoyed being one."
you could pretend you were the boss here for a while, but as long as you
were in my restaurant
you eat and sleep in my house, until then I expect you to show me
something
respect. – Nate's body is tensing up, and I can feel it tensing up
the tension thickens, but before things can escalate further,
Sasha speaks.
"You're a figure skater, aren't you?" That's your sport, isn't it, Stassie?
And that's enough to get Ian's attention, so let's get started
in front of the whole dance.
***

RIGHT NOW, NATHAN'S ROOM seems like the only safe corner
throughout the house.
The lunch, I think, could have been worse, but let's say it was much better
too. According to Nathan, it went quite well, which is a rather strange
view for me
in the light of it, I am forced to seriously reflect on how much
things are going wrong here, if that's what counts as good.
Nate's father is throwing a big New Year's Eve party today, which the
resort is all about
year for the guests who spend the holidays here and
they count on our presence.
As Nate naps on my stomach, I can't stop thinking that the
don't let my thoughts wander Mila Hawkins, Nate and Sasha's mother
towards. Still, what a wonderful woman she must have been next to such a
husband
was he able to bring two such wonderful children together?
I remember weeks ago—before I realized
that I have no chance of getting away without humming into this guy -
Nate told me he was the way his mother raised him. Complete
he puts his heart and soul into things. Nate thinks his mom would have
loved it
me - and Lola too - because he adored stubborn and determined women.
He also raised Sasha to be like that before he died. When his father is not a
nearby, I can see the sparks of it in Sasha, and I wish it wasway to bring the
five of us back to L.A.
"You can think really out loud sometimes," Nate growls against my stomach
lying down. He looked up at me, his eyes dreamy, his face flushed. "What's
going on?"
in your mind?
"The party," I lie.
- We do not go. He's big and you'd hate him, he says, as he
he kisses my belly button back. "Anyway, this room can be the."
best to see the fireworks.
"Your girlfriend would probably spit in the drink anyway."
Nate lets out a big sigh, leans his head back on my stomach, and then he's
sad
he looks up at me.
"I wish no one had been there before you, but I can't change the past."
yes. But I can promise that there will be no one after you. But
Ashley was never my girlfriend. We were children. We went to high school
together and
we slept a couple of times when I came home for the holidays.
"I'm just teasing you, I swear." I'm sorry, I don't even know why
i am jealous I swear I don't usually feel this way and
I don't care what you did to me, I really don't. It is not even
I think it's about sex, I guess it bothers me more because she's a girl
it matches the version of you that exists here. With the one who wears
snow boots and the
he plays ice hockey on the lake in his backyard. You let yourself go so much
here, for me
I managed to pull together the most stressful situation ever and
simply…
"Anastasia," he says gently, cutting me off from my flurry of words. "That's
why."
I let myself go because you are here. I'm enjoying it for the first time in
years
that I can be here, and this is only because you are here with me.
I don't have a version that would be better without you by my side.
"Your parents were on my mind," I admit reluctantly. - What kind of
your mother must have been great if you managed to be such a great person
grow out of you.
He crawls up the mattress until his face is in line
with mine as I rub my nose against his.
"He was the best." I'm not even a bit like my father
Stas. I swear I'll be so good to you. You will never have to because of this
worry about it. – The seriousness on his face breaks my heart, and that's it
idea that Nathan could ever be mentioned on the same page as that
absurd with his father."I know, Nate." I swear I know, and not for a second
I doubt you. I'm so lucky and for a second
nor do I take it for granted.
He touches his mouth to mine, first gently, then more passionately,
more demanding as I run my hands through her hair and let my legs
place yourself between Love just oozes out of him, his every touch
tender and full of care, his every look and moment special
for me, for us. And when he penetrates me, which makes me squirm
underneath, he whispers in my ear how much he loves me, how perfect he
is
I am for him and how lucky he is.
I can't even count how many times my body squeezes his
how many times I dig my face into his chest, his neck, his pillow
how many times do I have to stop and tell myself, even before his name
I would shout. His fingers tighten against the flesh of my hips, guiding me
as it were
it penetrates deep into me that I feel him right in my bones. His chest
he waves wildly, his stomach tightens, his vein pulsates madly in his neck
as
I press my lips to it.
And when he shoots his seed into me, he hugs me so tightly that
I don't know how they can expect to ever be two separate again
let's be human.Chapter forty-two

NO THAN

I LEAVE STASSIE TO PACK OUR THINGS INTO OUR SUITCASES

AND
I go down to the kitchen to get him a drink, as I really don't want the
to be around so he doesn't guess I'm helping.
As I open the door, strangely, the person I'm not with at all
I expect to run into my father. It sounds so weird to say
that one runs into someone in their own house, but father simply
never at home.
I guess he didn't even notice me because he's too busy with what he's doing
he is reading, but then he speaks.
- When do you leave?
"In a couple of hours."
"I like Anastasia." She is a determined girl. This is good. You will also need
it if
wants to be successful. You love him?
"Yes."
He nods, then rests his chin on his clasped hands and finally looks at me.
"She reminds me of your mother from the time I met her." bold,
she's beautiful, she's not afraid of anything. He once called her a bigoted
misogynist
your grandfather, did you know? He smiles, and it's been a long time since
he smiled
at first it seems sincere. "Moreover, straight into his eyes." So much
I was shocked that I almost swallowed my drink, and then
we started arguing about it, and your mother said that I should prove it
then
that he's not a bigoted misogynist.
Devoting all my attention to him, I lean against the kitchen counter
I want nothing more than to hear from mother.
- I did not know that.
"Of course I couldn't prove it to him." Your grandfather was a scumbag,
it cannot be said better. He was very strict and your mother was not
he liked it. I think he might have been the only person who was whole
he stood up to the old man in his life. Or at least he was the only oneman
who has ever stood by me. – He takes the documents in his hands
he was just reading before I thought the conversation was over, but
then he puts them down again and sighs. "Anastasia loves you too, that."
clear. A woman like her, who was like your mother…
he will be unwaveringly loyal to you and will protect you. Lucky
obsession.
"If mom was so great, why did you do this to her?"
I don't need to clarify what this is. You know what I'm talking about, even
if
I won't say exactly.
"People make mistakes, Nate."
- Some mistakes are not forgiven.
He nods.
- I know.
Stassie bursts into the kitchen at this moment, then slows down when
he spotted us on both sides of the kitchen island.
"Sorry to bother you, I just…"
"What is it, Stas?" I ask politely, as I don't want him to panic
fall from actually having a conversation with my father.
"You have to come up and sit on the suitcase." It doesn't close, neither does
Sasha
not hard enough.
"I'm going now."
Stassie nods and leaves as quickly as she arrived.
I look at my father again, but he is in his papers again
buried.
Now, seeing his slumped shoulders and blank expression on his face in
defeat
they realize that despite all my faults, I'm not that capable
to hate him as much as he hates himself.
***

GOING BACK TO L.A. IS SO Bittersweet. Of course there are thousands

there will be kilometers between us and my father, the best possible thing
for everyone
for, but I couldn't get nearly enough of Stassie's full on
sister mode with Sasha.
I know I should be grateful for the day you had together,
since it was like we were not going to see my sister at all, butI am
insatiable. I have an insatiable desire to see him happy
them in each other's company.
Stassie's New Year's resolution is to read more, so that's it
the flight is spent almost hiding in the book he bought at the airport.
"It's such an upside-down What a woman-processing," he tells me
excitedly. –
The chick is autistic and hires an escort to improve in bed. It is so
good and Stella is very funny and cute.
I snatch the book from his fingers, inspect the turquoise cover,
then I flip the book on a random page towards the middle.
"Are you able to read porn in public?" What a shame!
Stas puts his hand on my mouth to silence me while I
I laugh and tilt my head back.
- Do not shout! - he whispers in a hoarse voice as he looks around
did anyone hear us? He lowers his voice even further and pulls her closer
me to you. "This is not porn." But a romantic novel in which
there is actually some sex.
He tries to hide his face, but I hook my finger under his chin and myself
I turn my face towards him. I gently touch my lips to his, then the
I lean into his ear.
"Whatever I'm reading," I whisper, "I'll do it with you as soon as we get
home."
As I lean back, I see a thousand possibilities flash across his face.
"It's not really a book... but there's something at home that..." is
her face blushes even more – … you might be interested.
"I love women who like to read."
***

"FUCK YOU, HAWKINS." It was only yours for weeks, now you can't
help it
to share it for a lousy minute?
I wasn't even doing anything when Lola suddenly
he started throwing insults at me. Well, more specifically, as I passed the
next to their partner, I leaned in to plant a kiss on the top of Stassie's head,
but
other than that I didn't bother them. However, Henry…
"You're not the only one who needs to talk to him, Lola," he grumbles
guy crossing his arms like a grumpy little kid and swinging the
boat-sized legs on the coffee table. "I have muscles too, you know
that."Cutting across the room and winking at Stassie instead of the
I would go near him because Lo scares the hell out of me, I'll take off my
clothes Hen
next to it.
"So what's up?" "I hand him a beer while the guy
he looks at me like I have two heads. "Yours?" I can help?
"I don't have muscles... but I could have muscles if I wanted to have
muscles." More
I could be like Lola. I could have more muscles than you guys
together.
"Nobody's got more money than Lola," Robbie whispers as he shrugs
glancing back above him, he checks to see if Lola is listening. "All of them."
metaphorically rather than in an actual sense.
When we got home, it took about fifteen minutes to discuss everything
with guys, but Lola can't do anything in fifteen minutes. THE
fifteen minutes is the minimum warm-up time.
After spending an entire hour whispering in the kitchen, Anastasia
she walks over to me and squeezes her ass between me and Henry.
"Did you have a nice Christmas, Henry?"
"You drowned," he replies.
This startles Stas a bit, and he turns his head towards me, then again
looking quickly at Henry.
"I know, but I'm fine now." Nathan pulled me out of the lake.
"You could have died." He stares at his hand instead of Stassie and no
I know why I'm surprised by this. Henry loves Stas like a
would be his sister, and he wrote to me every day to make sure
Anastasia is fine. I thought that would be enough to calm him down, but
I was clearly wrong.
"But I'm not dead and I'm here now," Stassie says gently,
as he rests his head on Henry's shoulder.
The guy suddenly gets up and storms out into the kitchen, where he stares
at her for a longer time
the contents of the fridge as it should.
"Can we go to bed?" I'm tired, Stassie tells me
quietly. I glance at Henry and nod, knowing that the
a kid needs some space.
I follow Stassie upstairs, we work together to do the laundry,
we undress and comb our hair until we are ready to
let's fall into bed. He snuggles up to me and runs his finger along the
on my chest."I miss your bed."
"Do you want me to buy the same mattress here?"
"No," he says, drawing out the e as if to say yes. "Nothing."
it makes sense, you'll graduate in half a year anyway. It would just be
another thing that
you have to carry me away from here.
"Yes, but you'll still be here."
I'm tempted to fail and have to do the year over again
then I can graduate with him. Strange? Yes. Are you interested? No. THE
However, I think Vancouver Vipers would be interested, and that's the
only reason
to attend classes.
Anastasia pulls away from me, then crosses her legs and looks at me.
"Nathan…I don't want to live here next year." Especially after you in
Canada
you will be.
- Why not? – An unpleasant feeling settles in my stomach and that
I wish I could go back in time half a minute to not start
into this conversation. "Why do I get the feeling you're up to something
like that?"
tell me what I don't want to hear?
"Maybe you don't want to, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't."
let's talk about it. – He chuckles and then places his hand on my thigh. "I
love it"
that you guys enjoy living here. Seriously, I have no idea what it's for
I would have started without you. But, as I have said countless times
to you, I want to go back to my apartment.
"Do you want to live with the guy who keeps insulting you?" - I say
rough, much rougher than I wanted.
"Look, I know you probably don't see much sense in this, but."
he doesn't have to be. Lo told me what I was missing until
I've been without a phone and I think Aaron is finally ready to
let's sort things out.
"Anastasia, he was disgusting to you." A lying scumbag.
You don't need it.
"Yes, I am well aware of that!" Over and over again
I can't imagine what he did, but I wouldn't say it's his kiss
I wanna be. And I do need it. He's my skating partner and ha
I just don't want to start all over again after two years of suffering
I'm really not ready, I have to find a way to be together again
we can work.
"I fucking hate this.""I know, baby." And I love that you're so protective,
but...
living here has always been a temporary solution. You know how hard it is
to spend every single moment with you while I know it's six months
will you get out of here soon?
"I'm not happy about having to move either, but you know there's nothing
else."
my choice!
"That's not what I meant, Nathan." Well of course I want it to be
play in your dream team. Even if you don't already have a contract
I would support you wherever you go. He sighs, and to this voice that
I hear it so often and I know how mentally draining it is
this is the whole situation, I hate to hear that our Christmas break is
coming like this
end "I mean six months from now I want to be excited."
because of the things ahead of you, not to cry because I don't want to
move away I think it will be much easier to be in my own apartment again
I live.
He touches his finger to his lips, and his legs start to bounce - he's nervous.
My heart
hammers wildly.
"What aren't you telling me?"
He starts caressing his hand on my thigh, comforting me even before he
does
you would tell me no matter how terrible the news you have.
"Aaron can go on the ice again." I just wanted to tell you in the morning
because that's how it is
we had a long day but i guess that means you can go again
to play hockey.
To be able to play again should be music to my ears,
but instead i feel like stassie is slipping out of my hands.
"So we're not going to skate together anymore and you want to move
out—"
I snap up. "Then from now on it's only the Thursday evening number."
I will be? When can you make room for me in your schedule?
I regret this the moment the words run out
number.
Anastasia's eyes widen and I see her body tense up.
"You're troubled, Nathan, but please don't talk to me like that."
I'm sorry, but the shame that fills me won't let me
speak louder than a whisper.
"You're my boyfriend and I love you." We will meet so often
as much as possible, but you have already decided what will happen. Just
I want to listen to Aaron, that's all."You have a big heart, Stas," I mutter as
I pull him back to me.
I immediately feel better as soon as he is in my arms again. - No
i want aaron to crush her even more than before. I don't trust the
however, I trust you and your judgment, man. Whatever you decide,
I will be there by your side.
Stassie falls asleep in no time, and I just listen
the soft breaths of his breath, letting them soothe him as much as they
could
may. The thing doesn't really work and I end up falling asleep with it on
in my head, how much I don't trust Aaron Carlisle.
***

THE FRAGRANCE OF FRESH FLOWERS overwhelms every single one

of my senses and I can't wait
to get back in my car. The florist wraps the flower very neatly
peonies I picked while painfully aware
with JJ wandering behind me and mumbling under his mustache
something.
"What are you grumbling about?"
He puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs.
"I also want a sexy guy to buy me flowers."
I just stare at him, waiting for him to flash his characteristic, comedic
a half-smile that lets you know he's joking.
- Are you serious?
"I'm just saying that sometimes a bunch of flowers would be nice, you
know?" The
people I date always expect me to buy them flowers.
They keep saying, "JJ, you have such a big dick" and "you're so smart
or" and "JJ, that was the best number of my life." But never, JJ, I brought it
a bouquet for you". Never mind, it doesn't matter. "Something kicks him
with his foot."
into an invisible thing, then he stands aside to take a look at the
for sunflowers.
When I turn back to the florist, I see that the bouquet has been abandoned
with his wrapping, and he also listens to JJ's flower tragedy. Shaking my
head a
I reach into my pocket for my wallet.
"Could I have another bouquet?"
The nauseatingly sweet smell of flowers fills my nose even on the way
home. JJ
grinning widely as she clutches her light blue peonies
Anastasia rests her wrist between her knees, so she doesn't get
hurt.Manipulative little nobody.
I would like to say that I only bought flowers for my girlfriend
because I love him, but to be honest, it's more of a bunch of guilt.
A beautiful, expensive bouquet of guilt.
I'm not happy with the way I spoke to him last night, and even though
right away
I apologized and regretted what I said in my mind
I meant much worse than that.
I wanted to shake him and remind him of all the horrible things
what Aaron had said to him, and all the things he had done, and from
which
Stassie felt terrible. I wanted him to understand that it was for Aaron
why should it play the smallest possible role in our lives.
But it's not fair, because Anastasia is aware of all this. In my arms
she sobbed at the guy's words. You know exactly why you should be away
keep away from him. I can't pretend that a big part of me is simple
he wouldn't want to share Anastasia with that scumbag.
Being with him practically every day for six weeks
I skated, I was completely spoiled. The fact that I woke up next to him,
with him
I cooked, I even trained and studied with him, he completely spoiled me.
What if she makes up with Aaron and doesn't need me anymore?
I want a life with him—one that will be there even when
Maple Hills is just a memory now - so it's all just like that now
we would move backwards. Every instinct tells me to hold on
into him, intervene, protect him, but I know that this is not right. No
I'm going to be that guy - I'm not going to just give in after
Anastasia has worked so hard to improve her life. As possible
he deserves the best version of me and this version trusts his girlfriend and
supports him.
And she buys him flowers when he acts like an asshole.
JJ and I went to see Coach Faulkner and thankfully found him in good
spirits.
He is always in a good mood after not even seeing us for two weeks. His
heart
he's a wonderful person deep down and despite how fucking terrifying he is
fazon, a real gentle, girly dad, loves to spend the holidays with them
can charge.
He doesn't talk much about his daughters. Imogen and Thea are everything
now
surely they can at least be in their late teens, but I'm too afraid of them
to ask - even if it's just out of politeness.Faulkner confirmed what Lols had
said, which made him at once
I was relieved and overwhelmed by stress. Aaron as perfectly healthy
announced while he was home in Chicago for Christmas. Brady in the
morning
emailed Faulkner that starting tomorrow everything
back to the old ways.
"Cheer up a little!" the coach said to me when I wasn't like that
bursting with happiness as he had expected. "When it comes to that girl,
Hawkins, I swear to heaven…
"That girl is my girlfriend, sir."
Then he sighed heavily and pinched it between his thumb and forefinger
bridge of nose.
"That was the only thing missing in your quarter: a girlfriend." The sky
for his sake, at least defend yourself. Seriously, both of you
in order to pull rubber.
JJ snorted next to me as Faulkner let him go
one of his famous piercing looks.
"Let's not even talk about you, Johal."Chapter forty-three

ANAST ASIA

NOW, FOR THE FIRST TIME, I AM RELIEF TO WAKE UP ALONE.

My conversation with Nate last night weighed heavily on that
on my mind as I fought for sleep. When he nudged me in the morning and
he told me he was going to see Faulkner, I didn't insist that he stay
in bed.
Even without us having a normal conversation, I could feel it
he's in a strange, grumpy mood, and that he's probably consumed by guilt.
Ever since he left, my phone has been constantly vibrating with his
messages -
apology, argument, apology, monologue, apology. Enough
exhausting. However, I now banish Nate and his to the back of my mind
his concerns so that I could settle the second - perhaps tied for first -
my favorite boyfriend.
After the "Hide in!" hearing her cry, I enter the code and find it on the
floor
Surrounding Henry with paints and a huge canvas. Taking care to
not to disturb her at work, but to be close enough to her that
he is forced to face me, I will sit next to him.
"Henry, is there something you want to talk about?"
He shakes his head in no uncertain terms. That's a pretty definite but
not a very convincing no, and he keeps glancing at me more and more
often, until
finally he puts the brush down.
"I can't get it out of my head."
"Tell me why!" It's been tested so many times that I promise it's good
I'm.
"I googled statistics on people who froze."
they fall into lakes, and then onto those who die in them. Then it kind of is
I ended up with people who get seriously injured figure skating
meanwhile, and I couldn't stop myself from reading those a
horrible things that could happen to you.
"Oh, Henry!""I can't get it out of my head, Anastasia." You almost died.
I don't know how to end it.
"I'm sorry I scared you." I was scared too, but I swear I was
I am healthy and that this will not happen again.
"Please don't skate on frozen waters outdoors anymore."
"I swear I won't, but then you have to promise
that you don't read such statistics anymore. Do you need a hug?
Biting her lip, she considers my offer, but then shakes her again
his head.
- No. I promise, I'll try not to immerse myself in such things anymore, but
sometimes I just can't stop. I mean, once there
I have the thought in my head, then just dig deeper and deeper
until I can't get rid of it anymore. I hate this
in myself and I don't understand how to do this.
"I love you, you know that?" And there's nothing I hate about you.
"I know you love me, and that's exactly why I'm worried about you." Never
yet
I had a part in what is between the two of us. "His testimony really touched
me."
chokes the word. - I do not want to lose.
I watch him paint until I have to
to start preparing for my meeting with Aaron, but it's still hard
to leave him alone.
***

AS I cut through the lobby heading TOWARDS BRADY'S OFFICE, I feel

myself as if I were going to a job interview.
Aaron looks just as tense and just as nervous as I am about it
I feel a little better. Brady's office is small, but the desk is enough
big enough for me and Aaron to sit on either side of each other
opposite, while the coach sits to the side, like some sort of divorce lawyer.
"Thanks for coming, Stassie." I know I don't deserve it
your time.
Brady immediately groans.
"Let's not make things so dramatic, Aaron."
I try to remain indifferent and not react.
"I'm listening." What do you want to say?"I treated you cruelly and you
didn't deserve it." "He pulls it out."
sits and stretches his fingers. "He's not a partner, he's a friend."
I was like you deserve it.
"You know what you haven't said to my face yet?" - Stay calm.
"You haven't apologized yet." You didn't say I was sorry, Stassie.
I'm sorry I screwed you over. I'm sorry for such a toxic situation
I created that you moved out. I'm sorry I took you away from everyone.
"Anastasia, please," Brady says, clearing his throat.
"We're here to make things right." I know that
the other means a lot to both of you, so let's focus on that now.
"He said no one ever..." My voice trails off. "That."
he said that no one would ever be able to love me once he was his own
neither did my biological parents. Did he tell you that, coach? When he
reported
how do you want to fix things?
"Aaron!" Brady turns pale, his voice straining. "Please tell me that—"
Aaron hides his face in his hands.
"That's right, coach." I really said that and worse. Very
I'm sorry Anastasia!
"I've protected you so much, Aaron," I say without any emotion. –
When people saw your behavior and thought you were toxic,
i told them they just misunderstood you. You are bad at the same time
you called me a skater and fed people to trap me
i want to dump nate with a kid because i'm poor. You get it
anyway, how screwed up is this? What did I do to make it so?
do you hate
That's enough to get his attention, and finally again
look at me Nothing can be read from his face. Try to figure it out, and so
do we
would be the appropriate reaction to this, because it is clear that he does
not have the faintest idea
I knew about that too.
"My father had another affair." He managed to get this woman pregnant,
so mom finally kicked him out. He's as old as us, Stas. You understand that
how sick is this? I'll have a brother with his mother
I could have dated.
"Your mother doesn't deserve to be treated like this." Never
he deserved to be treated like this, but I don't see what that has to do with
it
I have it.- You were not here! I needed you, I needed your support,
you were nowhere! You've been partying and hanging out with guys you've
only just met
you don't even like me. I felt alone and it made me so angry
to you
All this heartache, all these tears and agony. The feeling is not
I'm good enough that I was constantly wondering if I deserve what I have
there is, and it's all because he didn't tell me that something was wrong.
"I'm so upset that you're not acting like a good friend, are you?"
I became an even worse friend for that. I don't expect it already
I'm sorry, but I want to deserve it. I know there will be time for that
need, and I have an idea how we can fall for it.
Stay damn calm.
“They're just words, Aaron. They mean nothing.
"There's a therapist here in L.A., her name is Dr. Robeska." For couples
specialized, but not in a romantic sense, he quickly clarifies,
but for people like us. For partners and teammates. After
i told her what i did, mom said she would pay. That
he said, this could be a new beginning for all of us.
He knows exactly what he's doing, and that's what irritates me the most.
THE
knowing that he is presenting something to me that I will not be able to say
no to.
I've been praising him about how effective the therapy is ever since
i know him mostly to get me to go and work on the
problems. Even after everything that happened, he tries to manipulate
get him to do something.
"Lola said you can skate again." This is true?
He starts nodding even before I finish the sentence, even the injured one
he also raises and stretches his arm to show that he is fully recovered.
"I have a medical certificate that I'm perfectly fine." In that
I'm ready to get back on the ice at any moment, as are you… So, therapy?
"I'll have to think about that, Aaron." This is no small commitment, and a
lot
you hurt me You did a lot of harm to the people around me, those who
I love you.
"You used to love me too," he says in an empty congo voice. - And me too
I love you, I mean as a friend, of course.
"I think we'd be better off spending our time
to prepare for the national competition. I'm not sure thatdo i ever want to
be your friend again but our relationship is still professional
may.
"If I could take it all back, I'd do it in the blink of an eye."
Stassi. But I can't, but I still want to be your friend, just
like your partner, but I have to earn it the right way
your forgiveness. He takes a deep, dramatic breath. "Furthermore, with
to prove that I have become a better person now. I'll give you time to
think about therapy and I hope you make the right decision. Really
I'm sorry and I will apologize as many times as I need to.
Brady gives us both a speech about sportsmanship and why
we leave his office behind I'm already exhausted and grumpy and
I curse the day I decided to give the pair a chance
to skate. I feel like I'm about to drown in other people's problems and
into his feelings, which is difficult, since I myself have so many problems
and
I have feelings.
I'm not perfect. I'm so far from perfect that it is
it's almost ridiculous, but I'll do my best to be a good friend
flies. So it's hard to swallow that this is what we're supposed to be doing
to hell with me because I wasn't a good enough friend to Aaron.
Looking at things with common sense, I know that's not the case, but
Aaron
he will never simply admit that he didn't even try with me
talk about these things. On an emotional level, more and more
I ask myself if I could not have done more. And now
I'm angry at myself because this is what Aaron wants and I can do it
fall for him.
That's the problem with people. Nothing is clear - everyone has good and
bad side. Just take a look at the likes of Nate's dad: he is
the father that Nate and Sasha need? No. But still
evil person? Also not. It's the same with Aaron. A whole
I wouldn't be so bothered by a bad person, and I wouldn't even digest it
myself so much.
This is where we differ from Nate, because he only sees the good and only
the bad.
He doesn't care about the confusing, questionable, gray zone of the two
between. And what I've learned now is that if something bothers Nate,
then it takes the form of frustration.
When I get back to the house Nathan is with a beautiful bouquet of
peonies
it's waiting for me and I can't even pretend to be happy about it. Towards
meholds out the bouquet.
- How did it go?
"I don't have the strength to tell you right now, and then don't."
collapse when you reach to make me feel like crap for it.
Can I tell you tomorrow when I've managed to process it? I need a drink.
I think I'm going somewhere with Lola.
The surprise just flashes on his face, and then they take their cue,
then he leans down and plants a kiss on my temple.
- You deserve it. Yeah, um, no need to hurry, you have as much time as
you have
you just have to. I love you.
- I love you too.

I THINK I'M DYING.

When I open my eyes with great difficulty and reluctance, I see a red
cauldron
cover my face I am surrounded by a fresh orange scent, and although I
basically love the
oranges, now the thought of eating one makes my bile run
down my throat.
I cling to a small body with pale skin dressed in sequins and
I'm horribly and headache-inducingly confused about
where I am, because it's so holy that I'm not with Nathan.
Turning on my back, I undressed myself from the person who was very
I hope it's Lola, and then I'll take a look at the room around me.
For a moment I was filled with terror that we had gone back to the
apartment, but this is the room
too clean and orderly to belong to any of us.
A deep snoring is heard from the bed, and I suddenly sit up, then quickly
I put my hand in front of my mouth, because the motion makes me feel
nauseous. Robbie
the sight of his sleeping face only adds to my confusion, but it is
my alcohol-marinated brain deduces that I'm in Robbie's bed,
strangely enough, in the company of Lola and Robbie.
I don't remember how I got home last night. Well, just really
I remember vague details, which at the moment are a drop
they are not there to help me.
After yesterday's horrible day, I literally felt like a couple
after the stress and tension start to leave my body. Then I drank a few
more
half, and this is where things start to get murky. My body
throbbing painfully with every movement in the worst possible way,and no
matter how much I want to carry him upstairs and climb into bed a
next to my own boyfriend, I don't think I have what it takes
strength or coordination.
Reaching for my phone, I mutter a little prayer that Nate is awake
be.

NATE

Are you awake?

Hello drunk girl.

Yeah, I just woke up.
I think I'm dying.

That's just the way you go,

if you down a bottle of tequila.

Why am I lying in a bed?

With a horse and Robbie?

I tried to bring you up

into our bed, but to that you said
that I'm just trying to be between you and
To get between Lola.
You wanted to hide together.

Just the thought of it

I almost threw up
to move
I have theoretical motion sickness.
I'm also sick of it
I look at the words on the screen.
Help.Do you want me to carry you up the stairs?
But you shouldn't vomit.

Could you carry me very, very gently?

Does it even exist?
I can even taste the words now
I'm so out of it.

I'm going to really

I pick you up very gently.
First I hear the door to his room slam shut, then how
clatters down the stairs, and even then I can't bring myself to
to move. The door closes a little as he knocks on it
four digit code and then Nate enters the room and so easily
he looks beautiful in his boxers. I want to look, admire, but as much as
possible
moves, the worse I feel, so I squeeze the
my eyes.
"I'm trying not to be offended by your grimace."
"You're a finished work of art, baby, seriously." Absolutely, ten out of ten
sex deity. But you're moving so fast I'm about to puke
myself if I keep looking at you,” I mutter through pursed lips.
"Ten out of ten sexy deities?" I think someone is a bit snotty. –
He slides his strong arm under my body and with one light movement the
pulls him to his chest.
"Oh, heavens, don't move," I moaned against my mouth
behind my palm. "How can I be drunk and hungover at the same time?"
"You'll feel better after a little painkiller and a good shower."
yourself. I guess you don't want to work out this morning?
Nate tries not to laugh when I give him an angry look
towards his infuriatingly handsome face, which was a wise decision on his
part, since he was laughing
a walking movement could be enough, the end would be that I throw up
his chest.
He slowly walks out into the kitchen and gently puts it down on the
counter.
"You smell like shit and regret." - He pulls out the drawer and takes it out
a box of painkillers."What kind of food did I eat last night?" Or just
basically Big Mac-
do i smell
She sweeps my tangled hair out of my face, then like
he looks at me so lovingly that I completely forget about him for a moment,
that I just look like a goblin living in a dumpster.
"You produced twenty chicken nuggets in roughly four minutes." it was like
like you're at some eating contest where you're the only one
competitor. I've never been so in love with you. "It presses on my hand."
he drops a glass of water and two pills into my palm. "You don't remember
how."
did you get home? Russ went for you because he was sober. You insisted
to take you out for dinner.
"I like Russ."
Nate chuckles softly under his breath and rubs my bare leg,
while I swallow the pills.
"I know you like it, you've said it quite a few times." In front of everyone
you called it a “muffin”. Any idea what the guys are calling it now?
Oh no. Poor muffin.
"Oh-oh."
He takes her in his arms again and starts towards the stairs, making sure
not to
shake it up a lot.
"Oh-oh is pretty accurate." Poor kid, but he'll get over it, won't he
worry. I think he will be living here next year too, so there will be plenty
your chance to make up for it. Russ and Henry are starting to become
friends, I think.
Nate slowly puts her down on her bed and wraps herself in the blankets so
that at the end
I already look like a human burrito. He is so caring and present
at the moment it is difficult for me to think about our current
disagreement.
"Nathan?"
"Yes?"
"I have to throw up, but I can't move my hands or my legs..."
He wrings out in alarm, then watches me rush to the bathroom, and I don't
know
what is he doing while I wildly rid myself of the entire contents of my body,
but
I think he might be thinking about how grateful he is for being like this
his girlfriend is sophisticated.
Nate helps me shower, then tucks me back into bed, does it to me
he eats and then goes to the gym while I just lie around
book in hand and actively feeling sorry for myself.I must have dozed off at
one point because I just jump
one as he enters the door in a sweat - looks like he's been there for a while.
- Are you okay? he asks as he drops his gym bag at the end of the bed.
Before my unexpected nap, I reflected on the past twenty-four hours and
I quickly came to the conclusion that I needed to apologize.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you yesterday."
"You already apologized for it last night, don't worry."
- Indeed?
"Yes, about thirty times." Then you tried to seduce me, which you politely
did
I refused - sorry for that. For practically everything except sleep
you were too drunk
As I sink deeper into the quilt, I feel her blushing
my face.
"That doesn't suit me." Are you sure about this?
"Yeah," he murmurs with a fake smile. "Very lively."
you detailed what you want to do with me. You said it was me
my dick is the best you've ever seen.
I cross over the edge of my quilt shield to see what it looks like
looks happy too.
"But seriously, it really is."
Nate sits down next to my legs and starts gently stroking my calves.
"Listen, you always want me to be honest, so it is."
I will be. It bothers me that I don't know how things went with Aaron
yesterday.
Can we talk about it, please?
- Naturally. "Nathan doesn't say a word while I'm talking, he just sits."
silent and listening attentively. He doesn't even speak when he finally gets
to the end
veins. I start to squirm nervously in the bed and then poke it with my foot.
"Well?"
"Couples therapy?"
– Sports partner therapy.
- Up to something. "Nate climbs between my legs and positions himself
until
until he can lay his head on my stomach. "I don't want to upset you again."
It's never because of you, baby. I'm sorry if I made you feel like
it would be so.
- I know.
"But I don't like that either."
- I know that too."I'm trying to make Aaron not a we-problem." Just so
much
it annoys me and it's hard for me to get over it.
"Nate…"
"Yes?"
"Get off my stomach, I'm about to throw up again!"Chapter forty-four
NO THAN

The FIRST TWO WEEKS OF THE SEMESTER are hockey sticks,

homework, and the resulting panic
a blur of how Aaron is going to make Stassie out.
A few days after their drunken rampage with Lola, Stassie and Aaron
started their couples therapy, which is not even for couples, which Stas is
all about
sometimes he comes home with tears in his eyes, exhausted and exhausted.
It's normal, he keeps telling me. All therapy is difficult at the beginning - a
her voice firm as she says this, her desperate desire to do so
look like you're in control, shine like a fucking beacon
on a dark night. However, he still fails to convince me -
he causes himself pain in order to forgive Aaron and
i fucking hate this.
We try to talk about it, but I always pull myself up,
causing Stassie to go into defensive mode. So
let's rather leave it all, since I'm not willing to the rare free
spending our evenings arguing about Aaron Carlisle. Stassi
he still lives with me, he still calls the house his home, but it is
his schedule is packed with extra practice, training, Aaron-
with therapy, with your own therapy – the list is endless.
I can't say that I would be much better than him. After nearly two
I missed a month, hockey is going sloppily, though for the time I spent with
Stassie
I became a better skater thanks to it. I move more skillfully, more refined.
I can clearly see how much better I am when it comes to playing.
I wish Stas could see it too, but after the renovation, he finally did it again
last week
the Kettes Aréna opened, so we loaded up our stuff and
we moved back to our own track.
I miss those moments before training when I could see him when
our elbows touched, or when he put his hand on his hip and looked
grumpy
us when we stayed on the ice too long. But he has a competition in a
weekwill be, so I can't be bothered by the fact that the joint has been freed
from pressure due to track.
He says he's not surprised that Aaron's back is just like that
he skates perfectly, as before his injury - he says that a
thing is in the guy's blood, and that despite all his faults, he won't leave
him
let down on the ice. Then, muttering, he adds that everything is different
he can put up with crap as long as it just stays that way
skate.
I can't pretend I don't miss being his skating partner
flies. No, I'm not considering quitting hockey and then being lame
I'm going to be a figure skater, but it was fun and I miss the time we spent
together.
It became clear to me how much time the partners spend
spend time together - especially those partners who also live together. For
that
the idea that Stas has to spend so much time with Aaron, or that the
guy will be a part of our lives, it fills me with dread. I know it can't be me
She's Stassie's partner, but I kind of wish I could be.
JJ and Robbie said I need to get the hell together and
they're right, but I just can't shake the feeling
that something is wrong. Henry says that Aaron is just a
it has become my obsession, as much as Anastasia is Aaron's obsession, but
at least the
kid is on my side for once.
This is the only way I really know how bad the situation is.
I force myself to put all the Aaron crap in my mind
I banish it to the depths, after today was our first game since again
I joined the Titans and had to be at my best. Something
miraculously I didn't screw up and we won.
I don't know if I was nervous about my return or because
because Stassie looked at me for the first time while playing, or because
she's fifteen
Seconds before I stepped onto the ice, Faulkner informed me,
that if I screw up, send it back to Brady.
The guys are totally fired up that I'm back, their enthusiasm
and it's contagious. Well, at least when I'm not thinking about it
my last university year is flying by, and we only have a few games left
together.
Stassie worked this morning and then had therapy with Asshead and Dr.
With Robeska, so I didn't see her before the match, but I got her
anywaythe best seats for him and Lola. When a shift packed in the
morning
clothes, he made sure to put away his Hawkins jersey as well.
"I can't believe you made me watch hockey," he grumbled
playfully, but I know he was excited.
It was a strange feeling to know that there was someone in the crowd who
was only there for me
there is. I have played for Maple Hills since my freshman year and
countless times
I heard my name being shouted, but this time was different.
Every time I passed by it, I felt so good. It's worth it
slur Robbie hurled at me as I glided up to him and
I placed my palm on the plexiglass and Stassie did the same.
Then two minutes later, when I scored a goal, Robbie grabbed it too.
And to top it off, Stassie's dad sent me this morning
a text to wish you good luck. He said he found a bar where
they'll be broadcasting the match, so treat yourself to a beer - or
with five - after Julia decorated the guest room with it. He said,
to anyone who will listen, he will brag that he knows me,
so then let me include your parents. I just sat there for about ten minutes
I was staring at my phone screen before I managed to get it together
myself to thank you for your support. Fortunately, there was a reason
give him something to brag about.
I can't wait for Faulkner to finally finish the game
discussion after. He likes to queue for it while the game is still on
it lives fresh in everyone's mind, and makes them aware of what is going on
at this time
we're just going to celebrate. This just really shows how much there is
has also changed, because I remember how I sat here just a few months ago
ago, in the same situation, but then all I could think of was
how I focus exclusively on hockey.
"Okay, I'm done, I don't need such a fucking picture of suffering anymore."
you cut, Faulkner snaps. - Don't celebrate too harshly - me
I'm not getting anyone out of duty tonight. See you on Monday!
When I finally get rid of Faulkner, Stassie is leaning against the wall
I find him typing on his phone.
Sensing my approach, he looked up from the screen and flashed at me
a bright smile and then starts running towards me. I catch him with one
hand
as she jumps towards me, letting my bag slide off my shoulder and a
fall to the floor at my feet."I'm so proud of you!" he hisses as he wraps it
around my waist
legs and kisses my face back and forth. "I want to drop out of school."
to be a full-time hockey wife. My heart all the way, everything
every second it pounded in my throat, and when that guy
he went to bobby i totally lost my mind! From a torn throat
I shouted, although in most cases I didn't even know what
happens… but you won!
I put it back from the floor and run it from head to toe
my gaze. Damn, he looks great in that jersey - it was serious
my best gift.
- Are you drunk. Please don't drop out of school…
"I never said I'd be your hockey wife," he chuckles. "And."
I'm not even drunk! Well, I was, but all this stress and excitement
sobered up. You're so good, Nathan. I know nothing about hockey, but
everyone around us was talking about you… Oh! And dad kept writing
too.
I don't know what to say to her as we walk out to the car,
so i'll just let you relive every minute of the game
whenever he couldn't sit still or started yelling at the judge,
when he didn't really know what was wrong, but he was aware that
they suck her boyfriends.
"So did you enjoy it?"
"I really enjoyed it, baby."
The others left with Lola before I even came out
from the dressing room, and the plan is to go grab something to drink. One
part of me wishes we could go home, but the guys deserve the
getaway - it's not their fault that I'm boring as hell these days.
The walk to the car takes twice as long as it should, because it is
continuous
they stop me to pat me on the back and congratulate me, but in the end
that's all
we'll get there. I'll wait until we get in the car, then
I ask Stassie the question I have been unable to get out of my head all
afternoon
out of my head.
"How was therapy with Aaron?"
Stas shrugs, looking straight ahead.
"It was fine, I'll tell you about it later," he says in a halting voice.
"Now let's celebrate!"
You can almost feel the tension emanating from his body. Anastasia can't
go under
to hide if something bothers him - he just doesn't have a poker face. The
rigidI know from his posture, the way he doesn't even look at me and bites
his lip
there's something you're not telling me. I lean over to him, take his hand,
and then
trying not to raise my voice, I say:
- I would like to know. Guys can wait… I would like to hear how
how was your day.
Untwisted in the seat, he turns to me, clasping our hands to his lips
he lifts me up and plants a gentle kiss on my cams. In his blue eyes, which
is so
she was bright and fucking hilarious just a few minutes ago, now something
an uncertain glimmer.
"Please, Nathan." I don't want to talk about it now. Let's go, have fun
ourselves.
- Why do not you tell me?
"Because you won't like it," he whispers. His face softens, then he takes a
deep breath
he breathes and runs his hand through his hair. "And I know how you will
react."
I'm nervous about having to talk to you about this. I would like to
to celebrate your victories.
He says he doesn't want to talk about it. I can hear him clearly and
intelligibly, but it is
my instincts tell me in advance what he will say. If I don't get it
confirmation that I'm right, I don't know anything tonight
then do it.
"You're moving out, aren't you?"
Stas sighs and I know I'm right.
"Dr. Robeska thinks it would be a good idea." The national competition is
here next week,
and he thinks it would be good for us—I mean Aaron and me—if this week
we would use it to tune in to the competition. when we lived together
we've always been so in tune and now it's gone. He said,
that if we only try it out, it would be good if now
we would.
I'm not sure what exactly I'm feeling, like jealousy, a
bitterness, anger, worry, and agony all overwhelm me at the same time.
"So the doctor Aaron chose and paid for, he thinks
that you should move back into the apartment. What a fucking surprise.
Away
I don't think you can fall for it either.
"Don't talk to me like I'm so naive, Nathan."
"I don't even talk like that." I just don't understand how you don't realize
what
work with you! How can you forgive him after all he's done
with you? After everything you said?I feel like a stuck record player.
- You do not understand. You don't even try to understand, you just do
you want me to cut Aaron out of my life, but I can't! This
it's not like hockey, nate! People are not standing in line, ready to
to take his place. It's just me and Aaron, that's it. I don't forgive
or I forget nothing. I'm just trying to get over it
to rise and not to throw away my dreams simply because they hurt me.
"Anas..."
"No, now you have to listen to it all the way through," he snaps at me,
preventing me from defending myself. "I know, Aaron is horrible."
he was a friend, but one has to make sacrifices to be the best
to be I can't be the best without him, but neither can you
you fucking decided to build such a wall between the two of us
you just don't hear me when I say I know what I'm doing. A decision
I brought it to try to put things right on a professional basis.
- Bullshit. One always has other choices, Stas. I do not need it
you move out, you don't have to go to therapy, you don't have to do any
fucking thing
you do what you don't want for the sake of that guy. Why would you bring
it for him
victims? He doesn't care about you and I think it's even funny that he hates
you
me, and suddenly your therapist advises you not to live together anymore
with me.
"This isn't about you, Nathan." You decided not to
to understand this situation, he says quietly. "You don't even try mine."
to see things from my point of view. You sacrificed for your team, I did
but for myself, for my future, for what was supposed to be ours
we will have a future. You must separate Aaron, the friend, from Aaron,
the
from a skater. You need to get it out of your head that he's manipulating
me, because he's not
that's right.
I hate everything about it. I hate that it seems like
I would be behaving irrationally to make Aaron out of all this
would emerge victorious. I just don't want Anastasia to spend it with him
his time. I understand that he has to because of his skates, but still
I wish it wasn't so. But your schedule is enough without it
tight that I should share it with Aaron.
"If you move back in with him, will he let you eat?"
Stas buries his hand in his palm and the longer he doesn't answer, the
better
I'm sorry for what I said. Finally, it's when I'm fiddling with tensionsitting,
Stassie looked up again.
"I'm trying really hard to be patient with you because I love you and
because a."
I know deep down that you worry about me. But what if you can't
to speak to me with the same respect as I speak to you,
don't speak. One week and here is my skating career so far
your most important competition and I can't be bothered to protect your
ego,
because you think Aaron fucking Carlisle can touch that
how much i love you
By the time he's done, I feel like a comical kid and
all I can do is nod silently. He leans over
over the console separating the two seats and plants a kiss on my mouth,
then when
finally we pull away from each other, his forehead against mine and his
hand
gently runs it along my jawline. Everything he said is true and
I can admit this in my mind, however, when it comes to the
it's my turn to voice this, I'm simply unable to speak.
In the end, I just managed to moan something, but it wasn't a
an apology you deserve.
"I just don't want him to hurt you."
Stassie ties our hands together again and pulls them to her chest. I see
the agony on his face and now I can't even blame Aaron because it's
complete
it's all my fault.
"Now, please, can we go celebrate?" Please, Nate. I just want to
to enjoy tonight with you,” he begs, his voice barely higher than a whisper.
I put the car in gear and do what he asks, even though I'm already one
I'm not in the least festive mood.Chapter forty-five

ANAST ASIA

I ALWAYS THOUGHT that skating would be the most complicated thing

in my life
commitment.
I was wrong.
"Do you think this attitude comes with the tail, or rather something like
that?"
that develops over time? Lola asks as she stuffs a large spoon into her
mouth
Ben & Jerry's ice cream. He glances at the dress he needs to change
to form, then his forehead creases and he gets another hunchback
scoop of ice cream. "Men are bad."
Lola Angelica plays Schuyler in the spring production of Hamilton and
today the guy who plays Marquis de Lafayette won his bell against himself.
Lola didn't want to stay in the theater to have her dress altered,
so he brought it home instead, since he knows me since I was a child
I repair and adjust my skate clothes.
We haven't even touched the dress, but we've already watched three
episodes of the
From murderous minds. My calendar is full of things to do, but simple
I can't face it now as I'm too exhausted
I am to care that I care nothing.
I can't figure out if this is progress or regression now.
"I think it comes with age." It doesn't look like it's been like this for ten
years
they would have been annoying - I grumble from behind my apple.
On the one hand, the fact that I spent the last three nights in the
apartment
it was a nice break from the laps we are constantly running
With Nathan, on the other hand, I miss Nate a lot. That's the whole
situation
so complicated as I know it would never mean me any harm
on purpose, but by refusing to understand what I tell him,
it causes pain.
Nathan is a true protector who likes to solve problems. The
it's a fundamental part of who he is as a person, and I love that about him.
That
and even more than that, I love that Nate is as proud of it as he isalso to
the fact that he treats those around him well. When we first fight
and I tried to avoid him, he wouldn't let me. After Robbie's party when
I was ashamed of what he did to me, he approached me with the intent to
see if i'm ok
He tried to protect Russ when it was revealed what had happened to the
track,
took responsibility for the Aaron case to protect the
team, even if it was a ridiculous decision. On such an important subject
was also able to stand up to me, like my eating problems, because it is
my health was more important than my feelings. Nate showed it time and
time again
both to me and to those around him, what he brings to the table.
And that's exactly why I know, as much as she loves him, it's an Aaron
thing
it goes much deeper than not trusting Aaron. Here it is now
it's about his self-esteem and about him being the person in my life
who i need
What I just can't get her to understand is that she doesn't
I'm replacing him with Aaron. No one can take his place, but as much time
as possible
spend time with Aaron, the more likely Aaron will be there when
I need someone, and that's the root of Nathan's real problem.
He told me himself that he has a selfish and jealous side, which he doesn't
wants to share me with Aaron and although it's usually a good big red
it would be a danger flag when we discussed it and dissected it, it is a
I got the impression it was because Nate thought so highly of me
me that you don't think Aaron deserves it.
Nathan doesn't know how to process what he's feeling, because it's for him,
with me
unlike, he hasn't had hundreds of hours of therapy, so no
I'm angry with him for not knowing how to put his feelings into words.
That
on the other hand, he knows how to listen, but at the moment he doesn't
do that either.
To him, and to the other guys, Aaron himself was a personification
villain, he is the bad guy in the story, the unpredictable nightmare who is
because
he came to destroy everything. When Aaron is actually one
he's a terribly emotionally immature guy who can't find his way. Many
times already
i said that those who are hurt by something hurt others and that is
complete
this is the case as a whole. Aaron lies and manipulates others because that's
what he is
only thing he knows.
I have spent my entire university career so far
I tried to find a reason for Aaron's horrible behavior just to
because it seemed simpler that way, and because honestlyI hoped that deep
down he was a good person. That doesn't make me naive -
it just means that I paid attention to its positive qualities,
and I hoped it was his real face. But in the meantime, one after another
I ignored the warning signs, and that was foolishness on my part, because
that's how it is
I ended up hurting myself. But now my eyes have been opened and
from now on, I see it as a necessary means to achieve my goal
to our relationship.
We are skaters who need a partner to
they can skate.
I don't need or want your opinion or your blessing. No
I have mysteriously forgotten how he managed to be the most relaxed by
his actions
and the calmest person I know, pull one for him. No
I forgot how deep his words hurt me, and though
these wounds have healed on the surface, who knows how much therapy it
will take
I need to actually get better.
I shouldn't scream and prove that I'm not naive, and I'm not
are also being manipulated to get Nathan to trust my judgment.
I shouldn't have to beg him to understand that there is a difference
between friendship and partnership.
And if in this situation Aaron has to play the role of the bad guy,
then Nathan is the textbook example of a hero and yes, you can keep that
a
title because he is the hero of my story. But this one is so dark and gloomy
fantasy, not some fairy tale. I'm not a princess - never have been
I was too, but it would be a shame to deny that Nate didn't help me
improve
since we've been together and that he didn't give me enough courage
to be able to deal with something like this.
I think I want Nate to be proud of me. He straight
he throws himself into problems without any hesitation, and so do I
that's what I'm trying to do, and that's why I'm so surprised that
ever since i decided to face aaron it's been constant
leading to arguments with Nathan. And I say I face because I don't
but therapy with Aaron is easy. It's exhausting and practically consumes
you.
However, Dr. Robeska is fair. He doesn't swallow Aaron's shit, or the
he played his pout trying to get me to go away
myself.
The doctor fixes Aaron properly, which I really enjoy. As
for example, when he repeated what he did when Brady intervenedabout
not being there when you needed me, Dr. Robeska
her first question was how many times did aaron try to record me a
contact to ask for my support. Then it came right away that
how many times I shook him after we discussed some joint program. THE
The answer to both questions was, of course, never, as for the
the doctor started a small lecture about how to use it
our feelings as weapons.
Ever since I got back to the apartment, I've been feeling like Aaron is a jerk
he would keep an eye on every morsel that entered his mouth. Onward
I also believe him when he says that he didn't screw it up on purpose
so my meal plan while Nate literally begged me to
to bring this up during therapy with Robeska.
Nate really wants to be proven right, but at the same time
he is the one who keeps reminding me that recovery is not about winning
speak. But about learning and forgiving ourselves
we forget our bad habits and put our trust in the process. Which
and it's not linear, at least that's what Nate keeps saying, and he can't
I am unable to notice the inherent irony in the fact that the same can be
said about it
Also about the situation with Aaron.
I find myself sending several pictures of my food a day
To Nate, just to reassure me that I'm not screwing up
things colossally. Aaron never says a single new word
about my diet, and when I look straight at him, he prefers his own plate
stares at him. Maybe it's all just in my head. Maybe he's trying to make a
fool of himself
draw what I can and know. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Just another day
In Maple Hills, stuffed with too many fucking questions.
"I don't want to live here next year," I blurt out, completely shocked
Lola. He puts his ice cream on the coffee table, and then pays attention to
every drop
devoted to me, he turns to me. "I don't want to live in the hockey house
either, because I don't."
I think that would be fair to Henry and Russ, but not here. But I
understand
if you want to stay. I don't run anywhere close to such a beautiful place,
like Maple Towers.
"Then we'll move."
- What?
"I don't want to live here either." It's time for a new beginning.AARON
MOANS AS I FALL BACK INTO HIS ARMS.
"Turn off the music!" I shout to Brady as I pull away a little
From Aaron not to kick me in the head.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Aaron moans as the track follows me
to the edge.
"You!" You're my problem, Aaron! Still to focus on the shit
when you keep puffing and moaning whenever I need you
can you?!
The music finally stops, and Brady looks terribly grumpy, but he doesn't
I'm interested. I'm just not interested in playing the good girl anymore.
I am not willing to put up with this arrogance for one second
their rubbish.
"Now what were you fighting about?" Brady hisses as he runs a hand
through his hair.
Aaron shrugs and gives me a look of utter disbelief
glance.
"I don't know, coach." Looks like Anastasia has something wrong. Already
again.
The back of my head is burning as I try not to let it tear from me
thread. I have always identified my impatience and the
my fierceness, who I am as a skater. Always has
I assumed that my competitive nature—the all-consuming desire to
I want to be the best - he blurts out, but it's clear that I was wrong. Never,
never once did I feel this wave of anger when we were training with Nate.
Yet
even when we fell or bumped our heads for the tenth time, it was still
smooth
I let it go and we just had a good laugh about it.
I've been resting my hand on my hip for a while now, so I don't have it on
my throat
to cut Aaron, but the skin under my fingertips is already starting to hurt
as hard as I clench my fist. I know what this is all about and
that's probably why I'm so freaked out.
"Are you having trouble picking me up?" Is that why it's so big? Just no
should you lift a bit more weights? - I splash.
- What? No! - he stutters, while his cheeks are a shade of red
it extends all the way to the tips of his ears, but then his face suddenly
hardens. "Leave it alone, Stas." You can't expect that ha
you're gaining weight, don't take me a while to get used to the extra
weight.
Here we go.- In the gym, you can easily push out about fifty kilos more,
like my weight. I just saw it this morning! You even put on more weight
to the barbell! I gained five and a half kilos of muscle, that's all! But what
for
should you get used to it?
"Especially for your fucking big face."
"You're such an ass."
"I can't work with you when you're like this."
I'm going home. We have to perfect this, you and my time
you screw it up.
- Then goodbye!
"Kids, please!" Brady blurts out.
I can't even hear what he says next, because I'm roller skating on the rink
to the middle to shake off my anger. If Aaron prefers
to be petty, as prepared, I will not stand in his way.Chapter forty-six

NO THAN
I'M LYING FACE FORWARD on the couch in the living room when
something
a whisper disturbs my self-pity.
I look up to see JJ, Henry, and Robbie in their arms
each holding a mug of coffee, whispering to each other like old ladies
in the bingo hall.
- What is that? I moan.
"Did you throw me out yet?" - asks JJ as he leaves the retirement circle and
sits down
in an armchair opposite me.
- No! - I snap, and then sit down on the couch properly, because so
it seems that this will end in a house council. I knew it was in my fucking
room
I should have stayed out of sight, but the morning workout
I was very busy and I couldn't bring myself to climb the
on the stairs.
JJ puts his mug down on the coffee table and raises it in front of him
defensively
his hand.
"It's okay, don't cry," he says sarcastically. "If Stas didn't throw."
you, then why do you paint so fucking miserable?
Henry throws himself down next to me, gives me a half suspicious, half
look
a sympathetic look, and a few moments later Robbie appears
holding a mug of coffee for me.
I definitely feel like I've been attacked, but I guess
I should be thankful that I have friends who don't do it
from above, when I'm obviously in a bad mood. Sinking into the couch
I sigh heavily and knock down my coffee to pass the time because
where the hell do I even begin?
"Stas says I'm not paying attention to what he's saying." Angry with me,
but also infinitely understanding when I'm such an asshole, which makes
me
I just feel worse. And I miss it."But you really aren't paying attention, so
why are you surprised?"
are you angry Robbie says without hesitation.
"Yes, I'm listening!" I confirm. "I can hear it fucking clearly."
another chance for that asshole. I listened when he told me that
move out. I listened when he said he was going to fucking couples therapy
with him.
"Compared to how smart you are, sometimes you can be a total idiot,
Hawkins, JJ says, shaking his head, his usual comic grin gone
trace. This time it's totally serious. - Stas is the most determined person,
the only one i know. I have no doubt that he will achieve everything,
whatever you want from life, because you don't hesitate to make sacrifices.
what would have been
if they don't sign you?
"I…"
"Nana, don't feed me some crap." He laughs. "You would have lived up to
it."
it lays down your foundation for all kinds of nonsense that you feel like
doing, and so on
you could, because there is the family business you can rely on.
Stassie doesn't have a savings account. He doesn't have a family business. If
it won't be
a successful skater, then you will probably be hired as an instructor or
whatever
worse, in some chore he hates.
"Why are you teaching me about my own girlfriend's life, Johal?"
"Because you're only focusing on the show and you're being fucking selfish!"
Stassie can't be a pair without a pair of skaters. Smart decision, Nate.
He uses Aaron to achieve his goals because he has no other choice.
You should be proud of him for being so strong, and he only ran so much
from you.
to be fucking jealous and petty, which makes you a poor girl
he feels bad about something that is already hard enough for him.
Henry and Robbie are painfully silent as JJ tears up. Henry
he squints at his coffee cup, slurping the drink for just a moment
you don't even have to look at me. Robbie fixes his eyes on me, but on his
face
nothing can be read.
"You two aren't going to say anything?" I growl.
Rob shrugs.
"Look, JJ is right." You know he's right, that's why you're here now
so freaked out. We know you love her, Nate. Do you think I'm happy for
him?
how does Lola spend her time with Aaron? Of course not, but both of us
big girls. Big, stubborn little girls. Based on what you said
to us, and what, erm, Lola told me, Stas clearly no longerhe could have
told you that he didn't want to be Aaron's friend. I think,
you have to decide if you are willing to drive him away because of your ego.
"It has nothing to do with my fucking ego!" I'm worried because the woman
he's into
I'm in love, spending time with someone who treats me horribly
with him.
"Yes, it's your ego that sucks," Henry mutters next to me, not even looking
up
about his coffee, which he is still sloshing around in his mug. "That."
you think Aaron will manipulate her until Stassie forgives him
and then he won't need you anymore. I liked that he needed you.
It makes you feel important. You know Aaron hates you and that's why
you believe, then he will keep Stassie away from you. Which just goes to
show
you have no idea how strong she is, and you don't even understand how
strong she is
love you.
Without a doubt, this is one of the most gruesome of all time
intervention.
"So I understand you all think it's one."
am i an asshole
Robbie clears his throat and laughs.
"Just to clarify, I've been thinking that he is one since kindergarten."
you are an ass.
"I didn't know you when you were in kindergarten," adds JJ. "But."
I think if you did, I would have considered you an asshole too. You know
that
we love you man but you brought stassie here you let us live with her
and we get to know him and now we love him too. We don't want it
ruined
do something so fucking special. That's what Aaron wants.
"I don't think you're an ass, Nathan," Henry says quietly. –
I think you should imagine yourself in Stassie's shoes. If you and JJ
you'd fight, but in the meantime we'd have a match and you'd need one
for a defender who helps us win, would you let him play. You would put it
all aside
drama and you would focus on winning. Stassie does exactly that.
"You're going on a date tonight, right?" Robbie says, and when I nod,
smile. "Talk to him about it!" He needs to know you're there for him
in case.
"You three have nothing better to do than play fucking Oprah."
with me?
This then breaks the tension in the room as the three of them
they make me laugh. JJ smiles and pokes Henry playfully."At least we're
finally not staring like Henry."
desperately trying to get that girl from the Christmas party - so are we
was her name jenny or something?
"You still haven't found it?" What did you say to that poor girl?
Did you join witness protection or something? - I giggle, then the
my smile widens even more when Henry throws one at me
look, as if he would like to ignite a fire with his bare gaze.
"I'm sorry, Nathan." We can't all keep harassing each other until then
girl until she starts walking with us. Some of us need someone out first
find out who the chick really is, okay? I…
I can't hear what he says after that because it's JJ, Robbie and me
we scream with laughter.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M ANGRY ABOUT A DATE WITH MY

OWN GIRLFRIEND.
I pay attention to how he politely says goodbye to the porter in front of his
building, and then
he walks up to the car in the parking lot. It paints fucking amazing. So
much
it's amazing that it can even happen that we miss our reservation a
In an octopus.
Polip is a seafood restaurant that just opened in Malibu and
luckily a guy who is into JJ works there and it worked out
set me a table. I don't really like that the
Using my roommate as a pimp, I get a reservation for an exclusive
to a restaurant, but I'm not so against it.
The moment Stassie gets in, my car is filled with
the sweet smell of her perfume. It always has a good smell, but now I
managed to get one
take it to another level. Is this what happens if I don't see him for a few
days? In spite of that
I would mention it to him, but I can already hear his jokes about being a
vampire
I am with keen senses.
"Why are you giggling so good?" he grins as he leans over to me
kiss me Sweet God, even the taste is so delicious. To his face
I raise my hand, but he knocks it aside before I can touch it.
"Makeup," she mumbles.
"On vampires, um, it's not important." I missed you. You are so beautiful
today
evening.
"You paint quite well too, Hawkins." How was the training?All the way to
Malibu, we engage in light conversation, mentioning those a
little things that have happened recently that we had not even thought of
until now
to mention now that we no longer spend our days together. He tells
that you managed to break your personal record for squatting and that the
after the race, Brady will increase his daily caloric intake again.
I tell him about Henry and Russ's budding friendship and how it is
how much some of the more immature members of the team don't like it,
so he has to
I was there to talk to them about growing up. THE
student union culture is weird and, in my opinion, sometimes a bit
sectarian
like - that's why I was never interested in it. I'd rather hang out with those
who
like me instead of being forced to like certain people a
in the name of brotherhood.
"Then I'll leave everyone who dares to hurt you."
my guys,” Stassie said sternly. I know he's not even kidding
– with his full one hundred and sixty-three centimeters he would be able to
happily go at it
anyone to protect Henry and now Russ.
The guy really likes JJ, because it's outdoors, overlooking the sea
he arranged a table for us on the terrace. I drop a message to JJ about how
how great is our table, so I can get a good point or two from him
guy, as he is apparently trying his best to
impress my friend.
I know I need to talk to Anastasia about how I behaved
recently, but I don't really know how to bring up the subject.
We place our order and then I let Stassie tell me funny stories
fill in the silence about Ló and one of his performances where everything
went wrong
away. Finally, Stas gives me a sympathetic smile, indicating that
you know exactly what's on my mind.
"Nate, are you okay?"
The time spent apart was a bit like breaking up, even though
it wasn't like that, and we kept in touch in the meantime, but that's more
than enough
it took me to realize that I never want to break up with him. I know,
it is rare to meet someone from whom
as if his whole life were blossoming. I know, I'm lucky to have someone
there is someone by my side who would be able to march into battle for
those he loves,
and it helped me realize that Stassie is on her own right now
is fighting.And I have to stand by him, not from another side
to attack him.
"I owe you an apology," I blurt out.
clearly not as elegantly and calmly as in which
I hoped. "I wasn't fair to you, and I'm sorry for that."
Anastasia. Seriously.
He slides his hand across the table and takes mine.
- Nothing wrong! Thank you for apologizing.
"You are the most wonderful thing in my life." I don't know how
whether you realize it or not, you are, and I'm so selfish
I behaved in a way. I put you in a difficult situation, I made you feel as if
you should have chosen between us and something else. You don't have to,
and that
I want you to know that I support your goals. Stassie just nods, letting
to pour out my heart to him hesitantly and hesitantly. Don't interrupt
and he doesn't say anything. It gives me the space to put it into words
pour out what i feel. "I'm watching you now." I swear, I'm listening.
I hear what you're saying and I understand that I have to let you do what
you do
you do and handle this Aaron thing as you see fit.
When he senses I'm done, he raises our linked hands to his lips,
and presses a small kiss on my little fingers. It's on his face right now
relief is simply overwhelming, which, to be honest, just
I feel even worse as it must have taken a toll on him
this is all as i thought.
I'm relieved too - it's funny because Anastasia can
to be the most hot-headed and stubborn person in the world, but when it
comes to a
line to discuss things, he has patience that would put saints to shame.
And now I also needed this patience to fix the
things.
"Nobody's taking your place, Nathan." When only with him
I'm skating, I keep thinking that I wish I was
figure skating, and you wouldn't have ended up with hockey as a child.
THE
therapy helped me a lot - maybe it will help him too, maybe
no. But what happens outside the arena is no longer my business.
"I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you recently."
As if he doesn't even hear this, he simply squeezes my hand.
"Would you like to hear something funny?""Now, in this holy moment?"
Yes, absolutely. "Anything."
distracts from the topic of what a terrible friend I am.
"I managed to get Aaron to run out of practice today." "Giggle."
he begins, then raises his wine glass to his lips. "In the middle of training."
he simply picked himself up, got into his car and drove home. Be under the
necessity of
I had to call Uber, but it was worth it.
- What happened?
- He kept blowing and puffing as often as needed
he had to raise it or catch it, so I asked him if he should
work harder in the gym. That, um, he didn't like.
Absolutely not. - Wrinkling his nose, he gave a shrug on his shoulder.
Visible from above
puts on Aaron.
"I don't have to worry about anything, do I?" I ask, rather
from myself rather than from him.
- Not at all. I have everything perfectly under control. You helped me
enough
to become strong enough to handle this. "His gaze glides past me,
then his mouth turns into such a bright smile and he begins so excitedly
fidgeting in his seat that for a moment I think it's just something
celebrity walked in here, but no. - HE! I think they're bringing our food!

Arriving IN FRONT OF THE MAPLE TOWER, I don't feel like letting

him out of the car, but
I have no choice.
"I'll be back on Saturday night," he mutters. "And then that's it."
we can spend Sunday together, I promise.
Stassie is traveling to San Diego in the morning for the national
competition and stuff
we decided that it would be the most responsible step if both of us had our
own today
we sleep in our bed. Neither of us is too keen on it, but tonight the
you have to focus on rest and that would be a complete impossibility for me
in my house. And if I were to sleep here, he'd be fretting all night about
that Aaron and I share an apartment.
It's the right decision, even if it temporarily hurts both of us
makes you unhappy.
Stassie climbs over the console between the two seats and wraps her arms
around my neck,
he sits on my lap in a riding seat, then his forehead to mine
drives it."I love you," he whispers as he presses his mouth to mine. - And
now
I have to disappear or I'll let you fuck me in the end
in a parking garage.
He opens the driver's door and climbs off me, then gives one last
kiss before heading to the elevator. I'm watching all the time to make sure
it's safe
get there and then I put the car into gear, hoping strongly that
that by the time I get home, my tail will fall off.Chapter forty-seven

ANAST ASIA

SINCE I JUST GOT HOME, I'VE HAD A SOMETHING AWESOME

IN MY CHEST WHICH
refuses to go away.
Maybe it's just the nervousness before the competition. I don't think
anyone does
would blame me for that, given that tomorrow is the biggest challenge,
that I have ever faced. There are still two years until the Olympics, but
until then
there are so many international competitions that I can participate in. This
is how I can show you
and to the American team, what I am capable of, what I can do
on the table, what can we put on the table.
For all the heartache I went through for this weekend,
something must be reported.
It has to mean something.
Lola knows that when I'm in this mood, it's best if
leave me alone - there's nothing you can say or do to make it better
I would feel myself, and I'd rather be alone anyway
with my thoughts. I checked everything on my iPad, took a shower,
settled into bed in my favorite Titans t-shirt and that's enough
it should be, but it's just… it's not.
The t-shirt has just been taken out of the dryer and has a strong fabric
softener smell.
I've always loved this scent - the smell of clean clothes means
I did the laundry, which means I can check something off
in my deadline diary. But for some reason the smell just lasts
adding to my agony.
Because the t-shirt no longer smells like Nathan.
And upon this realization, my bed suddenly feels incredibly empty
feels, and my skin itches from the t-shirt.
I understand why Dr. Robeska wanted me to move back to the
to an apartment. He felt that my relationship with Aaron would be on the
mend sooner rather than later.
if we spent this period together at home, as we did long ago. Whenthe
things we did together outside of skating were discussed
we cultivated, it became clear that we both enjoyed hanging out with the
other.
We had to get back in tune, and except for Aaron's little outburst at the
on ice, it came together. I also wanted to move back, which I did before
I told Nate that Robeska would have brought it up. I was worried
that my relationship with Nathan could only work if it was continuous
we're together, and that once his NHL career starts, I won't be
able to give him the support he needs and will
drives a wedge between us.
However, I'm not happy here and I miss my guys.
A guy in particular.
After a few rings, I start to worry that Nate won't pick up
my call that he is currently with his friends or that he is in study mode
phone, however, just before the line goes dead, all of a sudden
his face appears on my screen.
"Sorry, my phone was charging next to my bed." Everything is alright? –
he asks a little scared as the small crease between his eyebrows deepens as
looking at the screen.
"The clothes I stole from you no longer smell like you."
"...Is this a good thing or a bad thing?"
- Bad thing. It's horribly, terribly, catastrophically wrong.
I miss you and it upsets me.
"Baby, you just saw me, please don't be upset." What's up
you need, what should I do?
"Could you sleep here tonight?" I know you don't want me around Aaron
to be, but he will be in his own room, and you in mine - I say
fast. "You won't even see him." I just need you
Nate. To do what you're used to, with which you can do everything as if by
magic
you would fix it.
The corner of his mouth curls into my favorite kind of smile. Then he
smiles
so to me when I give him a pleasant surprise. Not very often
takes place because he knows him too well, and thus it is difficult to
surprise him, but that's all
it feels more special when you do succeed.
"Um, I don't know how I usually do that, but."
I'm leaving now. Would you like me to pick you up on the way?
I shake my head and watch him jump off his bed and grab it
his sleeping bag."No baby." I just need you. I just need you.

I CAN'T CONCENTRATE ON THE BOOK I'M SUPPOSED TO READ.

I read a paragraph or two, and then my eyes immediately a
it strays to a moving point on the map on my screen. I can not decide,
whether it's cute or pathetic right now, it fills me with excitement to know
that
his car is rolling into the parking garage of my building.
I wait at the door like an excited puppy, with my ears pricked up
when I hear the characteristic squeak of the elevator - while Lola, who is
the
sitting on the sofa, he watches Hamilton for about a tenth of the week,
silently the whole time
judging me. Nate doesn't even manage to finish knocking when
I open the door and drag him into the apartment.
“Hi,” he giggles as I wrap my arms around his chest and deep
I inhale his scent.
"You smell so damn good," I mutter, snuggling into his chest.
Holding me close, he buries his face in my hair and kisses my head
on top of it.
"Although I'm sure they looked very sexy while fucking,
would you please not stand in front of my eyes? That's where your room is.
I'm about to start the War of Independence right here - he shouts
Lo from the living room.
I drag Nate into my room before Aaron comes out
to find out on your own what this shouting is all about, and the one
walking around the apartment,
ringing laughter that can be heard when Lola introduces Nathan,
after he tells her not to be such a little pervert anymore.
The tightness in my chest eases with each passing second
slightly, as I can feel him under my fingertips. Nate's finger under his chin
hangs up, then turns my face towards him.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"I just had this ache in my chest that didn't want to."
pass away. Sorry to drag you out like this, but selfishly I feel better
myself when you're around me. Is that really bad?
He shakes his head, then runs through my hair and plants a kiss on my
forehead.
"There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you feel better."
Anastasia. However, I have no idea how I would know about you
to stick my scent... - He kicks off his shoes and climbs into my bed, meI just
watch him struggle with my pillows until he succeeds
make yourself comfortable. Placing my legs on either side of her hips it is
I climb into his lap.
"Raise your arm!" I tell him as I grab his shirt
border. Doing as I tell her, she leans forward a little and lifts it above her
head
his arm so I can pull his shirt off. Then he leans back against the pillows
and
he lets me run my hand along the smooth, warm curves of his belly, all the
way
down to the waist of his sweatpants.
Which is gray, of course, since Nathan Hawkins is a guy who
definitely written by a woman.
He quickly catches my wrist and holds my hand up.
"You come now, Allen."
I hold my arm in the air until he grabs the hem of my t-shirt and
pulls it off my body. My nipple hardens in the fire of his gaze,
and when he licks his lips and runs his hand along my thigh, my body
goosebumps run over every square centimeter.
The wait is almost suffocating. His hand goes to my hip and then the
around my waist, until it settles directly under my breasts. Nathan already
he's seen me naked countless times, but I've never felt myself
as exposed as now.
"You're perfect," he whispers as he sits up to kiss her
to the valley between my breasts. I'm almost panting as his tongue is hard
he reaches my nipple and starts humming happily as he sucks it into his
mouth
that. I cling to his shoulder and my head snaps back as he switches to the
another breast, paying just as much attention to it as well. Towards my
neck
he licks and kisses my skin as he goes, moaning when he touches my hips
I tighten it, and when it reaches my mouth, I can already feel it
I explode.
"I want you so badly," I whisper.
His laugh is dark, his eyes are sparkling.
"Please!"
"Nathan..." I groan impatiently.
"Not bad for a start." What else? Tell me what you want baby
My body sways rhythmically, desperately seeking your touch, or
just something to soothe this ache between my legs, so fuck it
it is clear what I want. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me
close
he squeezes as he turns us over so I'm lying on my back. If only onememory
for the rest of my life would be
as Nate kneels between my spread legs. His body is strong and hard, but his
skin
soft and smooth. He didn't even blink as he looked down at me, drunk on
the
from desire.
"I want your mouth."
"Where do you want my number?"
I run my finger along the front of my panties, feeling how they are already
hot and humid. His gaze follows my hand, his lips in a self-satisfied half-
smile
drags on.
"Just say it nicely!"
All my blood rushes to my face. Biting my lip, I watch him
looks His hand is massaging the calf of my leg, so he's clearly in no rush,
to give me what I want. My chest heaves wildly, the desire
makes you impatient.
"I want you to put your mouth on my pussy."
He grabs two sides of my panties and slowly pulls them down my legs, then
he spreads my thighs apart and settles between them. Apparently it is
the time for teasing is over because he hasn't spent a second between my
legs
he digs his head and starts feasting. Only a few moments pass, and it's
already there
I can't keep still - I want more and make more
who knows how fucking good it feels.
- I like this? Nate mumbles, knowing exactly that the answer is yes.
I run my hand through his hair and this way I pull him closer to me, push
him away
from myself and hold him in one place, using him as an anchor to the bed
to keep myself
"Nate!" I shout, although I don't quite know what I want.
"I know baby, I know it's good." – He slips one of his fingers into me, then
one more and then he bends them until I'm almost completely oblivious
about me. "Are you enjoying yourself for my pleasure?"
My legs tremble and seem to float, as my whole body convulses
start.
"Nathan… Oh shit…"
Confused and gasping for breath, she leaves him on the bed until he gets up
and onto the floor
he throws away his boxers and sweatpants. Nathan on my bare thigh
he locks his hands, then pulls me to the edge of the bed and my ankles on
his shoulders
places He squeezes the base of his cock, then pulls his glans along the
between my labia."You're such a good girl," he says proudly as he pushes
into me
his glans. "Jeez, Mária, don't squeeze me like that, otherwise half a minute
and it's over."
as a whole.
Digging his fingers into my thighs to keep me in place, he thrusts into me
penetrates.
"Stop calling me good girl, and then I won't squeeze you like that—"
I'll fight back. This relationship works so well because Nathan
he fucking loves to praise me, and I love to be praised. First
he's gentle with me, slowly rocking his hips, penetrating deeply into me
my toes tighten, but then he releases my thighs and at the same time
he starts moving harder and rubs my clit with his thumb.
"You're doing this too well," I pant as I try to touch him towards him
I reach out, but it's too far away.
He pulls my leg from his shoulder to his hip and pulls me to him, then he
carries me there
to the door of my net and presses against it.
- It's better now? That way you can already touch it. "He smiles, then."
begins to kiss and bite the curve of the chin.
Using every ounce of my strength, I cling to him like my body
he embraces her again and again. The beauty keeps growing, growing
My stomach heats up as Nate moans and whispers one after the other
praises in my ears, and my nails in the tensing muscles of his back
they deepen. His thrusts become more and more rough, and his hand
tightens
on the back of my thigh. And when he can't stretch anymore, in my
stomach
the accumulated feeling explodes, every nerve fiber of my body into chaos
repelled. A few more powerful thrusts and Nate is already following me,
incomprehensible
moaning a string of curse words into my throat.
"God, I love you."
I brush aside the strands of hair sticking to my wet forehead, then two
hands
I'll take his face in between.
"Ahha," I say in a shaky voice, gasping for air. - Me too
I love you.Chapter forty-eight

NO THAN

THE ONLY thing wrong with the most restful sleep of a person's life is that
eventually you have to wake up.
It's so peaceful here in the morning, which is a stark contrast to walking up
the stairs.
at the taping that goes on in my house. Not to mention what it's about
about a dispute over who drank the rest of the coffee. As your alarm goes
off,
Stassie starts squirming in my arms, moaning and grumbling about the
noise doesn't stop right away, then, cursing under his mustache, he starts
looking for a
your phone.
While we lived together, I got pretty good at faking sleep—
which is also called stealth mode. The couple spent separately
thanks to the night, however, I got rusty, because when I beat the bass
he calls his screaming phone, I can't stop laughing.
"Just laugh, Hawkins, and see what happens," says one
between yawning and aggressively tapping your phone screen.
"Come here, Morcipofi." "Smiling, I pull his body to mine." –
How are you? Is there anything I can do to make you feel prepared?
He rolls on top of me, resting his head on the hand on my chest.
"Won't you skate for me?" I'll keep sleeping, you will
you write me how it went.
– I mean, I can try to pay off the judges, but in case
you want me to take your place, I don't think it's a stretch
overalls would suit me.
Today feels awfully important, and I'm honestly surprised
that Stassie isn't totally out of it, but then that thought barely crosses my
mind
on my mind, Stas throws himself off me, then runs into the bathroom and
the toilet
empties the contents of his stomach.
Fortunately, he had already warned in advance that on the morning of the
races out of ten
throw up nine times with nervousness and don't panic about that
after all, he suffers from morning sickness. He also said that vomiting is a
sign thatthat I must go, as from that point on a biped is nervous
it's going to be a nightmare and you don't want me to see that.
By the time I get dressed and bring him a glass of water from the kitchen,
he is already coming
out of the bath and luckily it only smells like peppermint, nothing else.
"That was my sign to go, wasn't it?" I ask him how
I lean down to plant a kiss on his forehead.
"Thank you for spending last night here!" "He hugs you tight." "Now."
I would be much worse off if you weren't here. Good luck today
for your match! I won't check my phone, but I will call you if
I got back to the hotel, okay? Then you also write how it ended.
I was so focused on Stas's race that I almost forgot
to play UCLA today. Hopefully that's all by now
pitch-damaging drama is a thing of the past, because the UCLA team is full
of greats anyway
with guys. Since our universities are so close, we see each other often
each other in clubs and parties, and apart from that, a little healthy
rivalry, they are one of those teams that are quite fun to play with
to go on ice.
The National Figure Skating Championships are held in San Diego, and it
is
lasts all weekend. They will perform their first choreography today, then
if they get a high enough score, the next one comes tomorrow. Anastasia
he was extremely understanding when I told him I was going to have a
match,
so I can't go with him - he was ridiculously sweet and said
that it's okay.
But what I didn't tell him was that once the game was over,
I'm already jumping in my car and speeding down I-5
let me see him. I'll give him one last pep talk, I'll tell you
him how much I love him and how proud I am of him, then
I'll let him do his thing.
In contrast to the calm surrounding Stassie's apartment, the guys a
they bring their usual crazy form when I get home.
Stepping into the living room I am confronted by JJ, Henry, Mattie and
Russ
all standing on the couch in suits. Mattie using the table as a springboard
he jumps to the chair at the far end of the room - the table creaks under his
weight
under, but luckily it doesn't collapse. I take a look at the four of them,
waiting for someone to say something.
Robbie, holding a large mug of coffee in one hand and his bike in the other
he is pushed forward and rolls out of the lounge. He's already wearing his
suit, and already aheadI can feel the upcoming lecture about not screwing
up the game anymore
before. But then instead, he just shrugs his shoulders and is alone
explains with a sentence what the hell is going on here.
"The floor is lava."
"Then that's enough for you."
"But not as much as you." Go put on your suit, a domestic
we just can't be late for the game anymore.
It doesn't take long for me to get dressed and I'm about to get into the car
when
my phone starts vibrating.

UBER FISH

We just started
and Brady makes us listen to ABBA.

That doesn't sound so bad.

He also sings.

JJ says call me
they can put down a duet.

You'll love it even if

I fall flat on my face and in shame
I'll take care of it all
in front of the American figure skating elite?
…

Yeah, probably.

I hate you.You won't fall flat on your face.

It will be perfect
and I love you regardless of the outcome.

I'm about to throw up.

Take a few deep breaths.

And if you do throw up,
arrange for it to go to Aaron.

JJ drives my car so I can write my terribly nervous

for my girlfriend. The moment we pull up, Robbie walks over
into coach mode and tells me to put my phone away and focus on
for a match.
"You'll see it in a few hours anyway, so get it together a little."
yourself, okay? he moans in his most Faulknerish voice. - Me too
I'm upset about it, but we're going to have to, you know, we're going to
have to tighten up the
our teeth and get over it.
"Yes, coach."
As soon as we enter the door of the arena, I go into captain mode.
It's worth it, because after perhaps the best game of this season so far
we beat UCLA very comfortably, 9-3. Faulkner yesterday that
he said that if we win, he will allow us to postpone the usual post-match
evaluation so that I can leave for San Diego and get there in time for the
double
for a short program. I was about to walk out the door when Cory O'Neill, a
UCLA's captain catches him.
"Nice to see you, mate," he says as he slaps my bicep. "It's good again."
to see you on ice I heard a rumor that you defected
for a figure skater.
"Yes, it was, for about six weeks." Thanks for another big drama. The
you never have a receipt in maple hills, do you? - Half nailed
I scratch the back of my head. – The sports director put me on the bench,
because one
kid on the figure skating team got hurt and blamed me. With that
they threatened that until the culprit was found, the whole team would
notcan play, so I took it upon myself. I couldn't play until then
until the guy could go on the ice again.
"Oh fuck it!"
"It wasn't that bad, you know." My girlfriend is the guy's partner,
so I skated with him for six weeks, trained him. Quite
I enjoyed it, but every part of me ached all the time. For them anyway
they have a race today, I'm on my way there.
Cory frowns.
"Wait a second, are you talking about Aaron and Stas?"
This is not a good sign.
"Yes, do you know them?"
Cory nods in obvious confusion.
- I went to school with Aaron back in Chicago. Since we were kids
do we know each other. Were you blamed for Aaron's injury? And Stassie
a
your girlfriend
"It happened on Halloween." He just appeared in the Honeycomb
with a broken wrist, he said that I was playing some kind of joke on him,
and so on
got injured. You know what our news is…
"On Halloween?" "Dude," Cory interrupts me, holding up the
hand. "Aaron was playing football with us, he was injured." We drank and
fooled around
on the beach by the campfire. Davey pushed him to the ground and the
guy onto his arm
it fell… I didn't know he blamed you for that. What the hell! This is one
for us
so neither...
I can see his mouth moving, but I can't hear a word he says
from its ringing.
It's as if everything slows down as all the details slowly fall into place.
I resigned myself to being the first person Aaron had
would blame it on an unfortunate accident. I've been fighting this for
almost four years now
against the reputation of the team, and I wasn't even mad about it
anymore.
But Aaron knew. He damn well knew how he got hurt, and that's why
tried to get him into trouble regardless.
Why is that? Because of Anastasia? Stassie has been single for four years,
and so has Aaron
he never made a move on it. To get kicked out of college? That's it
it all makes no fucking sense, because what he did doesn't make any sense
either
meaning.
"Hawkins?" says Cory.
- I have to go.I'm halfway to San Diego when I realize it's all the way
I drove in silence. I turn on the radio just to have something that
it drowns out my thoughts, which are loud as hell at the moment. THE
the worst part is, what am I going to do when I get there?
I'd rather just run in there and everyone
I would tell you what Aaron did and how he got it over with
those closest to you. But Stassie doesn't deserve that. This is his life so far
most important competition. I seriously want to detonate a bomb when
should you focus?
Before I answer my own question properly
I would put it - that will have to wait now.
I can't imagine a future without Stassie, and unfortunately it's her
her future is intertwined with Aaron's. And if they win this weekend,
then this bond will be even closer.
Their names will be recorded next to each other.
Aaron is aware that Stassie needs him more,
as much as he hates her. That's what all this therapy crap was about -
to remind Stassie she needs him as her partner.
As if we weren't already fucking aware of that.
The rest of the journey almost flies by, and by the time I get up, I've
stopped
in the Spirit Center's packed parking lot. Stas said that for many years
this is the first time the national championship is being held on the west
coast, by
I feel very lucky that it's not exactly the other side of the country
is on the side. No matter what's going on right now, the most important
thing is that I'm here
and I can support it and that's what I'm trying to focus on right now.
When I enter the building, there are people everywhere in the lobby
they stand Coaches with their protégés, parents with their nervous
children, and
huge families with logos of different skating teams a
on their jackets.
It's pretty rough that the best figure skaters in the country are here right
now
are in this building and Stassie is one of them. The little one that lasts six
weeks
my foray into the world of figure skating provided a new insight into how
what a complicated sport it is.
It could easily be that my ass and knees are still blue-green
from continuous falling.
I have roughly ten minutes before the doubles short program starts,
which is just enough time to buy myself a soda and go ato the bathroom. I
don't know why I get so upset when Stassie is
who has to skate.
Fortunately, I find a place on the edge of one of the rows, a large family
each member of which wears the same T-shirt. Stassie and Aaron a
they are second in their group, but I missed the warm-up, so
I haven't seen him yet. My brain is buzzing so much it just can't
I'm paying attention to the performances of the first couple. My seat is
directly on the ice
it's above the main corridor, and if I look straight ahead, I can see Brady
right there
the back of his head, so I know Stas must be nearby.
Virtually every square centimeter of the outside of the track is covered by
cameras
are covered and the entire competition will be streamed live online. All the
guys
they have gathered at our house to watch, and our chat together is bubbly
from their messages of support—and their horror when someone's previous
managed to pull together an ugly fall from the group.
– Next on the ice is Aaron Carlisle from the Maple Hills Skating Team
and Anastasia Allen.
My heart is pounding in my throat as I watch Stassie glide onto the ice.
She looks beautiful, her long, light brown hair curled and pulled back,
to show her chest, arms and the front of her navy blue dress,
detailed lace net decorated with rhinestones. With Aaron
hand in hand, they glide to the center of the track and wait for the start of
the
music.
He sings "Kiss Me" by Sixpence None the Richer
slow motion version of the time they make their first moves on the ice.
Ever since we've been together
we are, I've heard this track and "Clair de Lune" more than once
I could count that.
In training, when I was with him, as he glided across the ice, a
was so close to perfection that it was almost impossible to believe
he wasn't exactly born on this earth to do that. And at home too
when he slides along the kitchen tiles laughing, dragging me behind him,
claiming to practice.
This song will always remind me of those moments.
I can't take my eyes off the pair of them as they effortlessly and
they do all the moves perfectly. My phone vibrates incessantly
in my pocket, but I don't even pay attention to it, because I don't want to
for half a second
to fall behind. They are already nearing the end of the program - two
minutes and almost
forty seconds passed almost in the blink of an eye. Aaron picks him upfor
the final move, and Anastasia glides flawlessly through the air,
then it hits the ground so gently that you can hardly believe it
a second earlier it was spinning in the air.
Their pair glides to the middle of the track to finish there last
steps, then intertwining, they freeze motionless as the
music. Every second of their performance was perfect. Another hair
wasn't bad either.
Then, as the applause begins, Aaron takes Stassie in both hands
face and kisses him.Chapter forty-nine

ANAST ASIA

Flickering lights surround us from all sides, and my chest like that
it's tight that I can't breathe.
I try to push myself away from him, but he holds my face too tightly, and I
don't
I want to direct a scene on the ice, since roughly thirty cameras are thirty
takes this moment from different angles.
He takes it.
Everyone will see this. Many have already seen it - they are watching it
right now.
Nathan is watching from home. He watches us kiss.
I'm about to get sick.
Aaron finally gets off me, leans back, and throws me a victory
glance. He raises his hand and starts waving to the crowd and that's it
I need an ounce of self-control not to start crying right here,
in front of everyone. My body moves completely by itself, a
leading off the ice to Brady's smiling face.
Of course he's smiling - we were perfect. Each
I felt it in every movement, every twist and turn, every single a
in the second we spent on the ice, we were in perfect harmony. Up to
until the very end, when Aaron slapped my mouth without my permission
mouth and ruined everything.
I take the full-backs from the coach's hand, I dodge it
a hug, with which he tries to take her prisoner, and then I walk down the
tunnel, away from the
from cameras and from Aaron.
I can barely see the exit a few meters away as my eyes well up with tears
healed, blurring my vision.
- Stas! Aaron shouts from behind me, and I can hear it in his voice: he's
screwed
confused. He doesn't understand why I storm away from him when I do
we should celebrate our outstanding performance.
Our mind-blowing performance.It's this kind of performance that gets
people's attention - kind of
of people we want to pay attention to us.
Aaron's hand wraps around my bicep, stopping me before I can
my choice but to face it. I want to look strong, I want to, like that
make it seem as if he didn't affect me, but that doesn't work,
because my tears are running down my face.
"We're done, Aaron." You've gone too far this time.
His eyebrows practically run to his hairline.
"What do you mean by 'we're done'?" We were fucking perfect!
Bardy appears behind him, his gaze darting cautiously between the two of
us
between.
"We have to wait for your scores." Anastasia, I know you are troubled
or, and we'll sort this out later, but right now you need to wipe away your
tears
and you have to steel yourself for the cameras. "My chest is big."
he flinches as they almost suffocate him with their wary eyes. - I know,
my treasure,” Brady murmurs. "I'm so sorry, I really am." But you have to
focus on your career. We'll sort this out later, I promise.
"I don't understand what I did," Aaron says with all kinds of emotion
without. - I do not understand. Stop crying, we need to know how many
we are in place.
- No! I'm done, I say sobbing. "I couldn't shake him off."
about me. He refused to stop. I did not want to. You do not
you let me go I'm not doing this anymore, coach. I don't want, I don't want
I do not want.
The exit door opens behind us and it's the biggest of my life
to his surprise, Nathan runs into him. I watch over my shoulder as
he comes to us, takes one look at my teary eyes and already knows
that this was not some little trick. That kissing is not part of our
performance
volt. That we didn't pretend to be in love for the sake of the cameras and
the judges
we are
"Oh shit, even that," Aaron grumbles.
- Are you okay? Nate asks as he pulls her close and tight in horror
hugs me He gently wipes the tears from my eyes with his thumb as he
I look up at him and shake my head.
"I want to go home," I say between sobs.
"That's fucking ridiculous, Anastasia." I'm sorry if I upset you,
okay? I was just carried away by the heat of the moment. People wanted it,
and so did II just wanted to give them this. I won't do this anymore, if that
much
you're freaking out because of a silly little trick.
"You don't fucking cut it, do you?" Nathan rages as he lets go of me
and walks up to Aaron. Before I even have a chance to tell him not to
do nothing, he punches Aaron in the face as he sprawls on the floor. Brady
yet
before screeching his name, she grabs his arm so Nate can do anything else.
"You forced yourself, you bastard!" Nathan yells at Aaron, who
he squeezes his increasingly swollen face.
- Oh, my God. Everyone calm down! Brady shouts. – Hawkins,
get out of here Aaron, get up! "Finally just losing control in her hair."
grips "Anastasia, hold on for the next fifteen minutes, please." Then
we'll talk, I promise.
With Aaron, we can certainly look like a ready-made disaster, just like in
front of the camera
we are sitting on the bench waiting for our scores.
My eyes are puffed up, and one side of Aaron's face, though
it is partially covered by the ice pack that the field doctor put on it, it is
swollen.
Brady is sitting between the two of us, grasping our free hand with both
hands, and he's present
at the moment, I can't even imagine three people like the three of us
you don't want to sit in front of the camera.
The scores are coming, based on which we are in first place
among those who have already performed their number, but I am not even
able to
be excited about it. It's over. I sit motionless, not caring about anything
With Brady and Aaron's squeals of joy. The coach is on the comforter
around my shoulders
twists his arm, but as soon as the camera light goes out, indicating that the
the recording is over, I'm already jumping up and going to look for him
again
Nathan.
"Anastasia, wait!" - shouts the coach, I hear the echo of his steps
behind my back. I slow down and turn around to see him with his arms
outstretched
jogging towards me. "I'm sorry he did that to you."
"I'm done."
"You keep saying that, but what does it mean?" he asks cautiously.
I see Aaron coming towards us from the results room. so calm
as if he had nothing to worry about. "You can't stop the."
skating for a kiss, Anastasia. I do not let.
"I won't stop," I say as I look over his shoulder at Aaron,
who will come to us in the meantime. "I'll just never date Aaron."
to skate anymore.Aaron blows at this, and the almost irresistible takes over
him
he wants me to draw one on the other side of his face.
"You will never find another partner, and even if you do, you have a
chance."
nor prepare in the next two years. Are you seriously planning to
will you make your Olympic debut at the age of twenty-seven? Stick to
reality
on the ground, jesus. Just accept my apology, Stas. Then the future
we will discuss it with Dr. Robeská this week. We need to pull ourselves
together for tomorrow.
Look how fucking good we were together! We…
I'll let him say it, trying to sell himself like a Frenchie
real estate agent. And when he finally shuts up and is so terribly smug
he's grinning because he thinks he's bought me again with his shit,
I turn to Brady again.
"From now on, I will go solo." If our score were enough for the
to continue, please tell the organizers that I gave up.
As she begins to realize what this means, Aaron grabs her hair.
"You can't switch to individual." Don't you fucking dare do that
with me, Anastasia. After all I've done for you, fuck you. Do not be
such a stubborn bitch! You're not even good enough to be alone
compete. Oh, my God. Oh, sweet, fucking God. You're ruining it
my life.
"Enough of that!" Brady complains.
"I'm going to find my boyfriend, then I'm going home." Goodbye Aaron.
"Stas, please!" he begs.
"I didn't do anything but trust you the whole time, Aaron." Two and a half
years
through him, I brought his parents into this relationship, into our
friendship. You
and you didn't do anything else, you only used and manipulated, conned
and that
You told me I wasn't good enough to be your partner
flies. Well, it finally dawned on me. You don't want me and that's it
it's okay because I don't want you either. I'd rather skate alone
and I risk failing rather than succeeding with you. THE
victory is worth nothing if it comes at the cost of hating myself when
I'm with you.
I don't even give him a chance to answer, but head back to the main one
waiting room to find Nate. On the one hand, they are liberated,
I feel light and free, but on the other hand, a bigger,
a much more serious part of me is ashamed and disappointed that he ever
did
I believed that we could have a normal partnership.The moment he sees
her, Nate jumps out of his chair and rushes over
Shall I bring it. I don't even give him a chance to ask if I'm okay
especially since I'm worried, then I'd start booing again, but instead
please take me back to the hotel so I can collect my things.
On the way between the arena and the hotel, I can't bring myself to
I check my phone, but I know there are countless messages waiting for me.
Fortunately, I haven't unpacked it yet, so I'll just pick it up
I drop off my suitcase and key card at the reception, then we're off
onto the highway back to Maple Hills.
I watch mom's name flash on the screen for about the thousandth time, but
I don't pick up, I just let voice mail take the call. Nathan
he didn't say a word, but ever since we got into the car, his hand has been
nowhere
on my legs, where it rests on the back of my head, gently purring, and
sometimes on the comforter
squeezes me so I know he's by my side.
The radio goes silent as Dad's name flashes on the screen, letting us know
that there is an incoming call from him.
"They'll be mad at me." They spent so much money on this dress…
"They won't be angry, baby." It's clear they're worried about you.
can i record
I nod as he takes the call.
"Hello!"
"Nate, I'm sorry to bother you." Maybe you didn't talk to Annie? Julia
keeps calling him, but he doesn't pick up. We watched the streaming and
it's like
he seemed troubled. Between the two of us, Julia is very worried.
"He's here with me." – Nate quickly glances at me, then back at me
turns it on the road. "He's sleeping." He was very exhausted and it
exhausted him. We're on our way
back to Maple Hills. Anastasia, um, wasn't really happy that it was Aaron
he kissed her. It wasn't part of their choreography, and I, um, no
I'm sure she'd still want to be Aaron's partner.
I'm not happy about Nate lying to my parents about me, but not yet
I am ready to face them.
"I'm not surprised," Dad grumbles. "That ice pack..."
Nate clears his throat.
"I hit you." But I want you to know…
Before he can even finish his excuse that he's not inherently aggressive
man, father cuts his words."No explanation needed." He deserved it
I think. We are so proud of Annie. It was phenomenal, absolutely
until that rush ruined it. Then tell him to call me
us when you wake up please. We want to make sure you're okay. Juice
we can fly to L.A. if you want, but no pressure.
My parents hate flying, so being offered this again
tears come to my eyes. The only thing that will bring me back is me now
theoretically I'm asleep so I can't be sobbing in the background of the call.
Nate squeezes my thigh.
- It will be. Thanks for calling.
"They don't sound angry," I say to myself.
"Because they're not," Nate confirms.

FINALLY, THEN I REALLY JUST DOESN'T IN THE CAR AND

WAKE UP ONLY THEN
up, when the car jumps over a policeman as we roll into it
to the garage of my building.
I stupidly got all my stuff from Nathan last week, but
now I want to get a few comfort items before we go over there.
I can hear the screeching and whispering before I open the door and
I'm a little scared that you're going to open up to Lola and Robbie like you
did
they're doing something weird on the couch, but I find her with Russ
instead
facing myself, who is standing in my living room like a deer in the car
in his headlights, holding a box that says in big letters that
PORN.
- What the hell? - I mutter as I look at the
on hockey players in the apartment. Nathan's hand moves to my waist,
then inside
leads us into the room, closing the door behind us.
"Lift it carefully!" - shouts Lola into the air as she pulls out the
from my room. It takes him about two seconds to run there
to me and give me a bone-crunching hug.
- What's going on? - I manage to moan out, taking advantage of the little
oxygen,
which is still in my lungs.
"We're moving out," Lola announces casually.
"Are we moving out?" I mean you and me? Where are we going? - for a
pure fool
I sound, entangled in my own words, as the guys all enthusiastically
they work around us, surely following Lola's strict instructions.Nathan
wraps his arms around my shoulders, then buries his face into my neck and
he presses a gentle kiss under my ear.
"Where do you think they went anyway?"
"That's enough, you caveman," says Lola. "To the guys." Only until
until we find a place for ourselves. Not here anymore
we can live with it.
There is a clatter from his room, and I seem to see him
your blood pressure rises.
- JJ! he shouts and storms off in the direction of the noise.
I think I should be completely overwhelmed, but honestly, just
I just feel relief. I made a big decision today - no
I was ready to do it again. I turn around in Nathan's arms
and I snuggle against his chest, letting the chaos fade into the distance.
Lips a
he presses against my hair and then giggles.
"Are you ready to play daddy and mommy every single day?"
"Only if I can play with you."Chapter fifty
NO THAN

Three months later

- STOP TRYING to seduce me all the time. See you in thirty minutes
I'm with Skinner and I still have to shower.
Anastasia, walking directly above my navel, stops saying
kiss all over my chest and then look up at me with that big blue one
with eyes that I fucking love so much. Yet how can someone
someone who looks so innocent can make such a mess? On his lips
with the most comical smile ever, he sits up a little, then crawls all over my
body
along the way, he presses an almost virginal kiss to my lips, then turns away
from me and
he lies down next to me on the bed.
"What do you think he might want?" he asks as he pulls the
blanket so that I can formulate a normal answer and not be distracted by
the
my attention is the fact that her breast is exactly in line with my eyes.
"I don't," I mutter as I pull closer to him and
I run my hand over her soft skin. "Probably intended for human sacrifice."
or something like that.
Anastasia nods in agreement and then snuggles up to my body again.
"It's understandable." You think your father will let me stay here after you
are you freaking out? We can only move into our new apartment at the end
of the school year, and no
I think the streets of Maple Hills were made for me.
"I think he'd rather throw me out on the street, but there's a good chance
he'll
that he doesn't even notice that I'm dead for half a year, so I think
you will be fine.
My relationship with my father is just as rosy as it's ever been. The
the only semi-normal thing he'd done lately was
that he gave Sasha a little way out to come with the Hamletsto Denver and
see our candlestick with them when there earlier this month
organized by the NCAA
{‡‡}
championship.
Which we won anyway—not that Dad noticed,
even if he is there. I'm glad Sasha saw us win -
Along with Anastasia and her parents. I can still hear Collin
his voice as he kept telling me and everyone who
he was only willing to listen to how unspeakably proud he was
on me. It was an emotional day, so many saints. Even Faulkner and
Robbie-
also had its moment.
University could not have ended more perfectly than this
for my hockey career, and it was made even more perfect by the fact that
with whom I could share it.
"If they are sacrificed, can I have your trust fund, or will your father take it
back?"
Stassie asks, then giggles as I run my fingers into her side
deep thought "I can have your blessing to marry me."
To Henry?
"No and no," I say as strictly as I can.
"I want you to wear black for the rest of your life and never again."
start with no one else.
"Ugh," he moans, half grunting, half laughing, as he starts to squirm.
"This."
it will really mess with my plans for spring break next year.
She screamed laughing as I pulled her out of bed, put her on my shoulder
and
I start the shower with him.

***

COACH

Hey coach. They said tomorrow

let me see Skinner.
Don't know what it's all about?

Do I paint like your fucking secretary?

Well, I've never seen you before

and the secretary in one place…So…

If you're done with Skinner,

come to my office.
Don't you dare bring bad news.
It will be so much easier
my life when
you graduate in two months.

I'll miss you too, coach.

Skinner's office is not in the athletic building with his other coaches and
stuff
together with that of a sports employee. For some reason, he got his in the
main building
place, right next to the dean's. I guess the closer you are to it, the
the easier it is for him to kiss the dean's ass. When his actual secretary
leads me into the office, Skinner is on the phone so I have time to look
around and
to find that the place was just as gloomy as I had expected.
"Sorry for the wait." Hi Nathan, thanks for coming.
You definitely want to know what it's all about.
"Did I do something?"
"Not exactly," he says calmly as he leans back in his chair. –
A student between you and Aaron Carlisle approached me two months ago
regarding the incident.
"Alright..."
"The lady said that Mr. Carlisle was on a campaign of revenge."
against you, and that he was injured outside the campus, drunkenly
partying with his friends
and, after which he used this accident to undermine the
your reputation.
"That's what I heard from those who were with him that night, yes."
"Of course you admitted your guilt in the case, which didn't happen."
you should have done it... but then they informed me that only after that
coach Faulkner benched the entire team.
In practice, you only use all the tools at your disposal
you tried to protect your team.
It was not one of the wisest decisions of my life.
"That's right, sir."- An independent investigation was conducted in the
case, following which
it turned out that everything happened as the student in question said
reported. The lady was very thorough and intended to
acquit yourself of all charges.
"Perhaps this student was not Anastasia Allen, sir?"
Skinner shrugs, though his lips curl into a faint smile.
– The student in question asked to remain anonymous, but I loved him
would like to meet you in person to assure you that the incident has been
cleared
will be from your university files. I know you're graduating soon, but your
and for the sake of all other parties concerned, I would like to inform you
that Mr. Carlisle
transferred to UCLA effective immediately.
HE.
"I'm sure Aaron will have a great time there." This
all? - I ask cautiously, as I have every desire to step before that
from here, that something abominable would emerge.
"Yes, that's all." Oh, and congrats on the championship.
I give him a nod of thanks, and then I pull away so quickly
from your office as quickly as possible. I should have known it was Stassie
he won't let Aaron get away with it.

UBER FISH

Now you're in trouble.

Would I be the human victim?

It can not be. I'm too busy and important.

You went to Skinner.

It doesn't sound like
what I would do.

You went to Skinner

and you enlisted Aaron.
All because you
you wanted to protect my honor.You have nothing
your honor
What you did last night
it wasn't fair at all.

You enjoyed it though.

Of course I enjoyed it.

I have no honor either.

Aaron transferred to UCLA.

Come on!! Seriously?

Yeah. Skinner just said that.

I would have liked it better

if he goes to Alaska, but also with that
I'll settle for at least
He moved away from Maple Hills.

It was hard to digest the fact that I won't be here next year, but the
knowledge
that Stassie won't have to face him on the field, or
bumping into him at parties takes a big weight off my shoulders.
Next stop on the list is the sports building to talk to the coach.
When I walk into his office, it's like he's munching on an all-you-can-eat
bagel.
He immediately narrows his eyes and I can see that he is already yelling in
his mind
with me. Finally he swallows what is in his mouth and says with a half
moan:
"I can't even eat my breakfast in peace anymore." Thanks to you
to clowns and my daughters, I will turn gray before my time.
I take one look at his completely shaved head, then agree
I nod.
"Did you want to see me, coach?"
He wipes his hands on a napkin and pushes his half-eaten bagel aside."We
need to discuss who will take your place as captain." Here is
it's time to think about who you give the title to, just like Lewinski
did to you. Have you thought about it yet?
I already started thinking about who my successor would be,
when he was benched last year. Since I wasn't on the ice, I had time
observing the team, seeing them as Faulkner and Robbie do and
I managed to observe a lot of things.
"He'll laugh..."
"I won't, but just tell me."
"I think Henry would make a great captain," I say honestly. –
Calm guy. Once I'm gone, he'll be the best player on the team.
He'll always be honest, he won't screw around. It will be now
third-year, which means the team will have two years with the same a
with a captain.
Faulkner ponders this for a moment, humming to himself.
- Okay. Let me talk to Robbie about what he thinks.
"We've already talked about it, and he agrees that Turner is the best
choice."
Robbie will stay at Maple Hills to get his master's degree,
so he will continue to coach the team. Since the assistant coach usually
paid employee, we all hope that when he finishes the
school, they will give him the job.
A couple of weeks ago, we sat down over a lot of beers and discussed,
who should follow me. Henry's confidence grew so much
since he moved in with us that I believe he will be able to cope with the
pressure that comes with a leadership position. Beyond that, no one can
rise
debate as to whether he would be our best player.
"Let me think about it," Faulkner says, reaching for his bagel.
indicating that it was time for me to pull away and leave him alone. "Then
in training."
we meet.
Since I'm already on campus, I'll drop by the library for a couple
for books I need to prepare for my final exams, then
I'm going home.
When I get there, the house is full and too many hockey players are
crammed into the
on my furniture.
"Don't you guys have your own house to go to?" Instead of
will you eat all my food and stink up my living room?The handful of middle
fingers are raised towards me, a few groans are heard, and then
finally Kris answers.
"Your girlfriend promised we'd get pad thai."
JJ and Anastasia went through that Vietnamese cooking class a couple of
weeks ago and
since then this place is like a restaurant. They decided that was it
they try different food and cuisine as much as they can. Each other
they cook standing next to each other, secretly competing with each other
to see who can prepare the
better main course or starter, or who makes the best side dish. Then
when we sit down to eat, they just sit there smugly, enjoying the
abundance
praise that the guys give them.
I'd rather not even mention to Stas that I'm almost sure
Bobby and Mattie live exclusively on mirelite pizza, so long after that
they'll come for dinner now that JJ and I graduated.
I fight my way through the bodies crammed into my living room and
messy and I head towards the kitchen. Stassie just had some bean sprouts
cuts while watching the wok intensely.
"Hi, sweetie," he smiles. "Dinner is ready."
I tilt her head back and plant a kiss on her lips, enjoying her body
it's like mine right away.
"You know you don't have to feed everyone, right?" I do not expect.
Chuckling, he returns to work.
"You know I love doing this." Like it's the size of a pallet
my child, but instead of being small and cute, they are huge and drink
and they swear. It's nice to see you two spending some time together,
especially after
some of you will be gone soon. It seems that Thai food is for everyone
favorite - they showed up as soon as I told them to.
"Anastasia Allen, don't you have baby fever?"
Her chin drops and a pink blush appears on her cheeks as she
he keeps blinking as if unable to believe that with such accusations
respect
"No way!" I'm just a good friend and roommate.
I can't stop laughing at this. Sometimes she's so fucking cute
that I have no idea what to do with it.
"You're the best friend and definitely the best roommate." He loves…
"What do I hear about the best roommate?" JJ interrupts me as he does
push me away from the stove. "Get out of our kitchen, Hawkins." It's just
culinary here
masterwork in progress and you are in the way with your tasteless
attitude.Stas looks at me with raised eyebrows as I back out of the kitchen.
Distasteful attitude, he gapes at me while trying not to laugh at me
himself as JJ begins to teach him how to serve. I look -
from a safe distance – as they scoop everything into bowls and unload the
beer pong/for our dining room table.
"To the trough!" - shouts JJ at the top of his voice, and the guys
immediately hurry up
they start towards the lounge.
Lola and Robbie are already sitting at the table, taking the best seats, and
then
the others also get in, their mouths hanging open at the sight of the offer in
front of them.
The clinking of cutlery and hums of praise fill the room and
the sound of sighs. Stassie brings out the last plate of egg rolls and I bring
out the last plate
I can't take my eyes off him as he stands there alone
smiling at the band.
To the girl who only ate salad, she didn't want to date anyone, and who
he couldn't stand the hockey players, there's no trace of him anymore.
He squeezes himself into the chair next to me and then packs his plate
with his food and moans happily as he stuffs a Villány pasta into his mouth.
He slaps Bobby's hand when he tries to steal an egg roll from the
from his plate and stares at him with piercing eyes until the kid collapses
shake Then his gaze softens as he turns to me and notices that
how good I laugh at their little skirmish. Not the least bit remorseful
for making Bobby even more afraid of him, he jerks her off
his shoulder.
"Egg rolls are my favorite."
"You're my favorite," I whisper as I lean over and
I press a kiss on her flushed cheek.
"Even if I had a hook in place of my hand?"
"Even if you had a hook in your hand, Anastasia."Epilogue

ANAST ASIA

Two years (and a little) later

SEATTLE'S SIGHT ALMOST glows in the warm, early evening sunlight.

Dr.
Andrews is a little late, but I don't mind because that way at least one
I can admire the view a little longer.
Sometimes when I get stuck in the rain, I miss the L.A. weather, but
I am very satisfied with my life at the moment.
"Come in, Anastasia," Dr. Andrews opens the door for me. –
Sorry for keeping you waiting.
"It's okay," I assure as I get up from my chair. - THE
my ankle is so swollen that it's good to sit down for a bit.
"Well, there's no doubt you're glowing if it makes you feel better."
yourself. The pregnancy is going well.
"It's just sweat, don't be fooled." "I'm taking a seat."
on the other side of his table, then I run my hand over my belly and
they hiss when a tiny foot kicks me in the ribs. "There is one."
our guess is that the young lady will become a soccer player. He likes to
kick.
"I'm sure with an Olympic gold medalist mother and."
with a Stanley Cup-winning father, he'll be the best at whatever he's up to.
"At the moment, it's best to keep getting almost."
pee
After I graduated and moved back to Washington to be closer
to be with Nathan, I decided to start again more or less
go to therapy regularly. Seats no longer feel heavy,
for which I am grateful. To put my feelings into words, to recall what they
are
I did, to list what I want and what I'm nervous about. That's it
it reminds me of how lucky I can be.By the time I'm on my way home, baby
H is fiddling with what
she's clearly just as excited to see daddy as I am. Married,
at least that's what I'll tell Nate, leaving out the part about the
child started break dancing when I opened the second package
pinch of salt.
When he bought me the Range Rover, also known as the
I'm sorry that I did you by accident, mama-tank, everything is possible
a corner filled with nasi.
Which was a wise decision considering his child was always hungry.
Yes, I blame my unborn child for the
I stuff myself with all kinds of crap while sitting in traffic.
Parked in our driveway next to my parents' car, I don't even get out
properly from the car, when I already hear Bunny's characteristic barking
from the back garden.
"Stop bothering my little one!" I shout over the barking as I do
I hobble over to Nathan and my dad, who are holding a water pistol
shoots Bunny.
"Mommy's home!" Nate yells, wagging his tail excitedly.
a 20-kilogram, wet, golden-colored furball starts towards me out of
momentum.
Knowing that you will be transferring to Seattle at the end of the season,
Nathan
he promised me after the Olympics in February that he could be a golden
our retriever. Which, however, none of us thought of at the time
we decided to become dog parents for my Olympic debut
in my anticipatory nervousness, I will throw up my birth control pill.
I won a gold medal in women's individual figure skating.
We celebrated.
A lot.
On every single surface we could put the horny little one on
our paw.
And now, six months later, it's like a watermelon
strapped to my belly and I have the craziest puppy in the world.
Nate walks towards me with firm steps and a mischievous twinkle in his
eye
he points the water pistol at me. His shorts slipped down his waist, the sun
its last rays reflect off its tanned skin. God, she's so sexy.
"Don't you dare, Hawkins."
- Welcome home. – He drops his weapon on the floor, just missing the
Bunny circling around our feet. He takes my face in both hands and his
mouthhe drives me to mine, making every cell in my body tingle with
happiness
start.
Pregnancy made everything so sharp, so when before that
I thought I was attracted to him, I was so wrong. The only reason why
that I'm not trying to climb him like a tree, that my parents
they are here too.
"How are my favorite girls today?" – Nate gently strokes the
on my arm until it reaches my belly. The little one goes completely crazy
doing it
always when Nate is around. "You want me to do that."
what?
"Heavens, yes." We are well. We are hungry. – Nate steps behind me, then
a
he wraps his arms around me and clasps his hands under my stomach,
taking the
weight, and I almost melt into it immediately. "Oh, God, yes."
I always suspected baby Hawkins would be huge, but practically
from the moment of conception, I can see that I am pregnant.
Peace to the dust of my poor vagina in a few months.
I'm all belly and pussy. My breast is so huge that it is constantly
everyone is staring at it. I recently visited Lola in New York with Mom,
and my girlfriend spent the entire visit scolding me and
she was trying to decide whether to have breast surgery.
Mom appears with a glass of lemonade in her hand, and after that, as
these two take care of me, I don't even understand why
I was worried about leaving the house today.
"Are you packed baby?"
I nod.
"Nothing's coming to me, so I'm wearing belly shirts for a week."
wear.
Nate plants a kiss on my cheek from behind.
"He came in as a Winnie the Pooh."
When Alex, JJ's partner, offered to organize our baby shower,
I thought he was joking. But as it turns out, there are a lot of baby things
that
which I don't even know about. My favorites where I get gifts
I can leave.
"Are the little one's things packed?" I ask as I lean down
to scratch the base of Bunny's ear.
Mom sighs."You do know that when the baby is born, you'll have to stop,
that you call the dog "the little one".
My face instinctively grimaces.
- I will not. He is the first born - I point to the fluffy face, which is just now
he eagerly licks my ankle. "He's the second-born," I point
on my tummy.
Mom bends down to pet Bunny, and she just succeeds
to avoid the saliva-dripping tongue heading towards his face.
"Come on, big boy, you're going on vacation too!"
The huge excitement I once felt during trips is gone
less overwhelming now that I've become a bowling ball walking on two
legs, but
sitting comfortably and putting my feet on something is huge
I command Nathan with pleasure.
Even though we've been together for more than two and a half years, this
guy is still there
he can't pack the dice properly either.
The journey from Seattle to Cabo is without any hitches and
we get stopped to take photos about a million times. THE
my favorite fans are the ones who don't watch hockey so when
they ask if they can take a photo with me, straight to Nate
give them their camera or phone. He says he doesn't mind if it is
people think he's famous because he's my boyfriend.
Every time he says that, I can't stop laughing
myself, because he seems to mean it. I told him that
then we can work on the image before I win the next one
my gold medal - maybe then you won't have to play photographer so much.
Our villa isn't really a villa, more like a beach mansion, but Nate is
he says that this luxury is necessary because he wants it to be one
to be in a private place where I can feel comfortable.
Where I can be naked. He wants me to be naked.
We spend the day on the beach, reading and napping and chilling
ourselves in the sea. Nate made me a Hawkins doll-sized hole
in the sand, something that just fits my tummy, so for months
now I can sleep on my stomach for the first time. What a beauty.

– STAS, ARE YOU READY?

"Don't hurry!"I can hear her giggling in the living room.
"Well, could you at least hurry up a little?" We have a table reservation.
After being forced to wash all the salt water out of my hair,
I made the critical mistake of getting into my towel after the shower
wrapped, I sat down on the bed with a bag of barbecue chips and the
with my phone. By now I'm perfectly aware of what he's doing
everyone I've ever followed, but unfortunately I'm not dressed, a
and my hair is a wet bush.
I pull my hair back in a graceful ponytail, and put on a light summer look
cloth, I put a little highlighter on certain points of my face and apply
a little spiral on my eyelashes. The beauty of vacation is that I can
as if this appearance has always been the goal, and no one can say anything
about it
in for me.
When I finally emerge from the net, Nate is watching the Grand Prix
with a beer in hand.
"Come on, we're going to be late."
He opens his mouth and looks at me in disbelief.
- I'm waiting for you! I've been waiting for you for so long!
"That sounds a bit excessive," I mutter as I put the
my phone in my bag. "Can we go?"
Nate stands up and downs the rest of his beer while still shaking his head
he shakes and scolds me under his mustache.
"I've got to snoop on something, and I'll meet you out there."
"Hurry, Nathan!" "I can hardly stop my lips from twitching."
for a smile. "We have a table reservation."
His eyes first widen, then suddenly close as he takes one
deep breath.
- I know. I've been telling you this for a while.
The restaurant is just a short walk away, where you will be guided through
us in the main dining area, out back to the private beach. Scattered
rose petals mark the way to the lonely table on the sand.
Nathan helps me sit down and takes a seat across from me.
"I'm going to eat everything on the menu," I warn him.
"It won't be a very attractive sight."
"Everything you do is attractive."
- We will see…In the end, I don't manage to eat the whole menu, but it's a
big loss
I put it in my own food, Nate's, and the bread basket. Then only
i sit there and watch him sip his wine and people watch.
It's strangely quiet tonight, but sometimes it's just like that when you're on
vacation
there is It is very tiring to be surrounded by noise and chaos while working
around, so that most of the special moments spent together consist of
that we exist in silence in each other's company.
Sensing that I'm looking at him, Nate turns his head towards me and
straight to the
he looks into my eyes, which takes my breath away. The tip of his nose is
pink in the sun
from time spent, and his beard, which is usually carefully trimmed short
grew longer. Every time I look at it, my pulse quickens, a
my heart is beating wildly in my chest, and when I would think that
I've reached the limit of how much I can love him, he makes me realize
that
I was wrong.
Falling in love with Nathan Hawkins wasn't something I planned on
I could have planned it.
There is no appointment diary, no iPad, no sticker chart
could have prepared me for my future.
It is beyond my imagination to dream of such happiness
for me.
"You look at me with that funny little look you always have on your face,
when your brain is working too hard, Nate says playfully.
Rolling my eyes, I giggle at how unabashedly he is
interrupted my internal monologue.
"I'm thinking about how much I love you."
- This is funny. Because you're on my mind too.
He pushes his chair back and gets up from the table, and I just look at him
curiously.
- But what…? "He gets down on one knee next to me in the sand." "Oh
sweetie."
My God. 23w
As he reaches into his pocket, my heartbeat slows and a lump grows in my
throat
– a big scoop, but not as big as the diamond he's holding out to me. Baby H
I do somersaults in my stomach, while my eyes are already filled with
tears.
"Anastasia, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, and that's it."
calling you the love of my life doesn't come close to expressing how much
you are
I love you. My existence has no meaning without you. It's all further
yours in our lifetime, and the next, and in all alternate realitiesI will if you
accept. You are my best friend, the greatest gift
from life, and Mila - and Bunny - are so lucky to have you
their mom.
Okay, here come the tears.
- Will you marry me?
Nodding enthusiastically, I throw myself into his arms, almost into the sand
pushing him.
- Yes Yes Yes! - My hand is shaking as he puts the ring on my finger,
then he immediately takes my face in both hands and kisses the puss out of
me.
— Anastasia Hawkins. Wow. I thought it was just like that
casual, just no commitment, just no jealousy relationship.
Nate snorts and presses his lips to mine once more.
"Shut up, Anastasia."Acknowledgment

THANKS TO MY HUSBAND FOR BELIEVING IN ME FOR LETTING

A
to finance my (very expensive) dream from our savings, and
despite having the biggest mouth in the world, true to his promise
kept my hobby a secret.
To Marcy for convincing me that I could write my own
my book. Thank you for helping me discover my passion.
To Ha-Le, the person who is undoubtedly even better than me
you know Icebreaker. Thank you for your endless support.
To Paisley and Leni for holding my hand virtually first
during the publishing processes of my book. Your hard work and creativity
made this book what it is, and I look forward to so many more
I can work with you on a project.
Finally, thanks to my crisis team, whom I thank endlessly
i like:
To Erin for being my spiritual helper writer. Thank you for your friendship,
that you're here to listen to all my weird, half-thought-out ideas and
for actively encouraging them. You are the reason why "things to write"
my list of books is forty-five volumes. I press the BookBar with this
energy to the universe.
Kiley for being the first to read Icebreaker
plot outline. Thank you for always being in my corner,
you demand the new chapter when you are tormented by a writer's crisis
(which is strange
works) and, most importantly, you answer all the "Who,
In America..." my question. Your calm balances mine
my chaos. You are a wonderful friend.
To Rebecca for being the Canadian me. Thank you for believing in me
that private publishing is the way to go, that you've listened to random
dawn
my speeches and how you calmed me down when imposter syndrome
was about to be defeated. I am so lucky that my friend
i can call youHANNAH GRACE is an English self-confessed “fluffy
"hug-like books" author, who is mainly new adult and modern
creates romantic stories in his home in Manchester, England.
When it's not tied down by the fact that a character describes it ten
thousand times
garbage within a chapter, accidentally multiple characters have the same
name
or use English phrases that no one understands
in her American books, then usually with her husband and their two dogs,
Pig
and spends time with Bear.

Learn more about the series:

www.hannahgrace.co.uk
www.facebook.com/PassionValogatas
www.facebook.com/DreamBooks{*}
National Hockey League, professional hockey league, including twenty-five
Americans and seven
with the Canadian team.
{†}
National Football League, the largest American football association
{‡}
University of California, Los Angeles
{§}
Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics, i.e. Science,
Technology, Engineering Solutions and Mathematics.
{**}
Excerpt from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You
{††}
A round, curved, metal cooking vessel with a concave shape, mainly used
in Indian cuisine
its side is used as a frying pan, while flatbread and pancakes are baked on
its convex side.
{‡‡}
National Collegiate Athletics Association.