Counseling With Scripture English Outline - 1-37

COURSE SYLLABUS
COUNSELING WITH SCRIPTURE
COURSE OBJECTIVE:
1. To understand the principles of Scriptural counseling
2. To learn to minister healing to the broken-hearted
3. To be equipped to help counselees formulate a more accurate concept of God
based on Scripture
4. To help counselees begin to build their self-worth on the forgiveness and
unconditional love of Jesus Christ
CREDIT VALUE:
Each part has a 3 credit hour value.
COURSE TEXT:
Title Author
1. Search for Significance Robert S. McGee
2. Common Care Counseling Handbook T. Edwards & W. Kimball1
COURSE REQUIREMENTS: All Students

1. Read Part One (pages 1-151) of Search for Significance (workbook section is
optional). Read all sections of Common Care Counseling Handbook.
2. Attend all classes or purchase and listen to recordings of any missed classes if
absentee is excused.
3. Take required exam the last night of the course.
COURSE REQUIREMENTS: Graduate-Level Students

In addition to the above requirements, read Basic Principles of Biblical Counseling:
Meeting Counseling Needs Through the Local Church by Larry Crabb2. Graduate-
level research paper should be 6 pages in length.
1
Available From Christian Equippers International • 1-800-662-0909
2
ISBN: 0-310-22560-4
© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture

STUDENT COURSE
COMPLETION AFFIDAVIT
COURSE TITLE: _____________________________________________________________
■ I have read all of the required reading.
■ I have attended all classes or listened to recordings of any missed lectures.
■ I have turned in the required course exam.

and/or
■ I have turned in the required course research paper.
Print Name: __________________________________________________________________
Signature: ___________________________________________________________________
Date: _______________________________________________________________________
The above course requirements are to be completed and this affidavit turned in
within one week of the last class meeting or the student will receive a grade of
“Incomplete.”
Completing the Course Requirements

If an incomplete grade has been posted, the student has two additional weeks to complete all
of the course requirements and turn in this affidavit. To change a grade from “Incomplete,”
the student must pay a $10 Change of Grade (from Incomplete) Fee.
Failure to Complete Course Requirements

Three weeks after the last class meeting, the student’s “Incomplete” grade will be changed
to an “F.” To overwrite this grade, the student will have to pay tuition and take the course
again.
© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture

COUNSELING WITH SCRIPTURE
I. The Christian Counselor
A. Definition of the word “counsel”
1. Webster’s Dictionary - to give advice, guidance, instruction, direction, rec-

ommendation, warning.
2. Biblical definition – to lovingly confront a person out of deep concern using

the Word, prayer, and the guidance of the Holy Spirit in order to help him
make the changes that God requires of him.
B. Characteristics of a Christian Counselor
1. Total reliance on God, His Word, and the Holy Spirit
2. A mature Christian grounded in the fundamentals of the faith, able to teach

biblical principles of living - 2 Timothy 2:15
3. One who has a genuine concern for the needs of others with a strong desire
to be used by God to help them to achieve victory in their daily lives.
4. A good listener
5. Compassionate, empathetic
6. Competent to counsel (Romans 15:14; Colossians 1:28; 1 Thessalonians 5:14)
7. A prayer warrior
8. Trustworthy; can keep a confidence
C. Goal of Christian Counseling
1. To assist the counselee in understanding God’s solution to the need or prob-

lem at hand.
2. To offer guidelines that will bring positive changes to the situation based
upon God’s Word.
© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture 1

3. To bring healing, restoration, and Christian growth. To restore troubled
people to full, productive and creative lives.
II. Jesus is our “Wonderful Counselor” (Isaiah 9:6) and the Holy Spirit is
“another” Counselor just like Him (John 14:16-18).
A. As our counselor, His ministry is to advise, to resolve, to consult with us; to

determine, to guide us with purpose, and to admonish us.
B. When you counsel with Scripture, you are inviting Jesus into the situation.
1. Jesus and the Bible are both the Word of God.
2. Jesus is the Word made flesh, the living Word of God – John 1:14.
3. The Bible is the written Word of God.
C. When you counsel with Scripture, you can expect the same anointing of the
Holy Spirit that was upon Jesus – Luke 4:18.
1. The anointed Word transforms us by renewing our minds – Romans 12:1,2.
2. The Gospel (good news - the Word of God) is the power of God unto salva-
tion – Romans 1:16.
D. Knowing the Truth sets you free – John 8:32
1. Thy Word is truth – John 17:17
2. 2 Timothy 3:16 – All scripture is given by inspiration and is profitable for:
a. Doctrine
b. Reproof
c. Correction
d. Instruction in righteousness

Diagram of 2 Timothy 3:16
Point of Repentence
CO
OF RR
PRO ction) EC
RE onvi TIO INSTRUCTION
DOCTRINE (C N (Training and Establishing
(Instruction in Truth) in Righteousness)
Detour Back on the Path
E. Words spoken by others can wound us or heal us.
1. The words of the wicked destroy.
a. “An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor but through knowl-
edge shall the just be delivered” (Proverbs 11:9).
b. “A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the
increase of his lips shall he be filled. Death and life are in the power
[“yad” — hand] of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit
thereof” (Proverbs 18:20,21).
c. “The eyes of the Lord preserve knowledge, and he overthroweth the

words of the transgressor” (Proverbs 22:12).
2. The words of the righteous bring healing:
a. “The tongue of the wise is health” (Proverbs 12:18b).
b. “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due
season, how good is it!” (Proverbs 15:23).
c. “The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart: and a good report maketh the
bones fat” (Proverbs 15:30).
d. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the
bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
F. Recovery comes through acknowledging the truth – 2 Timothy 2:25,26
1. Some have gone into captivity because the devil has deceived them because
of their ignorance of the Word of truth.

2. Some are taken captive by their own self will through disobedience.
3. Recovery from this snare comes by:
a. Acknowledging the truth – 2 Timothy 2:26
b. Humbling yourself and drawing close to God – James 4:6-8.
c. Receiving healing (God's provision) – Isaiah 53:4,5.
4. If you are in a wounded, rejected state and easily bruised, you need light.
a. The entrance of the Word gives light – Psalm 119:130.
b. For the Word of God is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path –
Psalm 119:105.
c. You need to hear the Word that will set you free.
5. You must both hear and understand those words that you might take corre-
sponding action (i.e. obedience to them) – Deuteronomy 5:1.
6. Correction is sometime grievous, but necessary.
a. We must submit ourselves to the wise counsel of the Word of God to be

healed.
1) “He that refuses instruction despises his own soul; but he that hears
reproof gets understanding” (Proverbs 15:32).
2) “Heaviness in the heart of man makes it stoop, but a good word

makes it glad” (Proverbs 12:25).
b. Sometimes those “good words” are not necessarily what we want to hear,
but what we must hear.
1) “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but griev-

ous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of right-
eousness unto them which are exercised thereby” (Hebrews 12:11).
c. If we are going to receive healing we must receive it from God according

to His plan of releasing healing into our lives (hearing, acknowledging,
and obeying the Word of God).

G. The greatest need of both the counselor and the counselee is the Word of
God.
1. It brings life: Man lives not by bread alone, but by every Word of God –
Matthew 4:4.
2. It brings discernment:
a. The Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword and it will divide
the soulish from the spiritual – Hebrews 4:12.
b. One who is skillful in using the Word of God is one who has “practiced”
consistently.
1) This is the one who can discern between good and evil.
2) “But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those
who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good
and evil” (Hebrews 5:14).
H. How to establish a solid foundation in your life and in those you counsel:
1. The Word of God is the only sure foundation – Luke 6:46-49.
a. Calling Jesus “Lord” and yet not obeying His Word is like building a
house with no foundation.
b. Building a solid foundation requires:
1) Coming to Jesus
2) Hearing His Word
3) Obeying
2. The anointed Word of God always produces life – John 6:63.
3. The letter of the law (the Word without the anointing) always produces death
– 2 Corinthians 3:6.
III. Who Do We Counsel?
A. Broken-hearted people – those who are crushed, shattered, in pieces; with

their thoughts and feelings completely disrupted, lacerated, and distressed
1. Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred: expectations, dreams burst as the result of

marriage, children, job, friends, parents, maybe even blaming God.
2. Proverbs. 15:13 – Sorrow of the heart: pained, grieved at a loss, tragedy,

regret, sadness, an incident causing you grief.
3. Proverbs 17:25 – Grief to a father, bitterness to her that bear him.
4. Proverbs 10:1 – Heaviness, sorrow of heart - the spirit becomes broken.
5. Proverbs 18:14 – A wounded spirit who can bear?
6. Proverbs 18:8 – Words wounded him in the innermost parts.
a. Proverbs 12:18a – As pierced with a sword
b. Ephesians 6:4 – Do not provoke your children.
7. Proverbs 19:2,3 AMP – “Desire without knowledge is not good, and to be

overhasty is t o sin and miss the mark. The foolishness of man subverts his
way [ruins his affairs]; then his heart is resentful and frets against the Lord.”
8. Proverbs 15:1 – Grievous words stir up anger.
9. Proverbs 15:4 – Perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.
10. Proverbs 18:19 – A brother offended
B. Captive people
1. Held in strongholds – 2 Corinthians 10:4
a. Weapons – offensive tool for war
b. Warfare - “strateia” – a host or army; later came to denote warfare
c. Mighty – “dunatos” – possible, able, powerful, strong
d. Pulling – “kathairesis” – demolition, extinction, destruction
e. Strongholds – a fortress, a castle

1) Strongholds – definition: those thoughts and attitudes that have a grip
on your mind that even though you don't want to think that way, you
do anyway. You feel like your mind is controlling you, that you can't
stop thinking in a certain way.
2) “When a person is consumed with any negative or worldly way of

thinking, over a period of time it becomes a stronghold.” – Casey
Treat
3) Examples of strongholds: fear, anger, poverty, low self-esteem, pride,

selfishness
2. God's answer to dealing with strongholds – 2 Corinthians 10:5
a. Casting - “kathaired” – to lower, demolish, destroy. (kata-down, haireo-

to take)
b. Imaginations - “logismos” – a reasoning, a thought (origin of the English

word “logic”)
c. High thing – a barrier
d. Bringing into captivity – “aichme” a spear and “halotos” to be captured

(Can be translated “to take one captive with a spear pointed into his
back”)
e. Thought – device of the mind (2 Corinthians 2:11 - Satan's mind games)
f. Obedience – “hupakoe” = “hupo”- under + “akouo” - to hear
C. Oppressed people
1. Oppressed people are burdened spiritually or mentally, suppressed, pressured,

or discouraged.
2. God wants us to set the oppressed free:
“[Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wicked-
ness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you
break every [enslaving] yoke?... take away from your midst yokes of oppres-
sion [wherever you find them], the finger pointed in scorn [toward the
oppressed or the godly], and every form of false, harsh, unjust, and wicked
speaking” (Isaiah 58:6,9 AMP).

D. Lost people needing salvation – Romans 10:13-17
E. People who are physically ill – the devil can steal a person’s health by
attacking their attitudes.
1. “A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a
broken spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22 AMP).
2. “A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body,
but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones” (Proverbs
14:30 AMP).
F. People in the above categories can be of all ages and levels of maturity and
can come from all walks of life.
1. Believers at various levels of maturity
a. The Word of God will help them be strong and victorious in life – 1 John
2:12-14 AMP.
1) Little children: “...for His name's sake your sins are forgiven [par-
doned through His name and on account of confessing His name]”
2) Children: “...you have come to know (recognize and be aware) of the

Father”
3) Young men:
a) “...you have been victorious over the wicked [one]”
b) “...you are strong and vigorous, and the Word of God is [always]
abiding in you (in your hearts), and you have been victorious over
the wicked one.”
4) Fathers: “...you have come to know (recognize, be aware of, and

understand) Him Who [has existed] from the beginning.”
b. Parents are commanded to teach God’s Word to their children diligently –

Deuteronomy 6:6-9.
2. Single people
a. Loneliness is often a problem for single people.
b. Scripture can give them a different perspective:

1) Just as they received Jesus as their Savior and Lord and their Healer,
they can receive Him as their mate – Isaiah 54:5.
2) His Word reveals His perfect love, a love that sustains, strengthens,
completes and comforts us – whether we are single or married.
3. Married people
a. The marriage relationship is constantly renewed by the washing of the

water by the Word – Ephesians 5:25,26.
b. In a Christian marriage, husbands can minister the Word to their wives

and wives can minister to their husbands, for there is a mutual submis-
sion and deferring to one another – Ephesians 5:21.
4. Divorced people – God hates divorce but loves divorced people. Their bro-
ken hearts need to be healed.
G. In fact, we are to teach (to make disciples, teaching them to follow God’s
precepts and instructions) all the nations of the world – Matthew 28:19.
IV. How Do We Counsel?
A. In the spirit of meekness – Galatians 6:1
B. Speaking the truth in love – Ephesians 4:15
C. The right word and the right time – Proverbs 15:23
D. Having an ear to hear
1. What the Holy Spirit says – Mark 4:9, 23; Revelation 2:7, 11, 17, 29
2. What people are really saying – Matthew 12:34 - “Out of the abundance of
the heart the mouth speaketh.”
E. By the anointing of the Holy Spirit
1. John 14:16,17 – “Paraclete” – counselor (in Christ’s place, came to be

another counselor “of the same kind.”)

2. Jesus’ words indicated that He considered Himself to be a counselor of His
disciples.
F. The Holy Spirit expects counselors to use His Word.
1. 1 Corinthians 2:9-16 – Paul clearly states that men cannot understand the
things of God apart from the Spirit’s work.
2. Galatians 5:18 – “If ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.”
a. Does not mean to refer to inner feelings, or hunches or to visions or

extra-biblical revelations.
b. The fact of the Holy Spirit’s involvement in counseling implies the pres-
ence of the Holy Scriptures as well.
G. The Holy Spirit’s ministry is personal
1. Not everyone suffers from anxiety or depression alike or suffers emotional

problems for the same reasons.
2. A counselor cannot use the same pat answer or theory on every person.
a. Some blame all behavior problems on genes.
b. Some blame all behavioral problems on chemical imbalances.
c. Some insist emotional trouble is always due to unrepented sin.
d. Some say it is always a demonic problem.
e. Some say, “Just quote the Word. It solves all problems.”
3. In actuality, there may be truth to all these theories.
4. By revelation of the Holy Spirit we can discern how to apply the anointed
Word of God to a given situation.
a. The problem may be genetic, and you may be led to share that we are
redeemed from the curse of the law – Galatians 3:13.
b. If the problem is a chemical imbalance, a person can be taught how to

stand for their healing – 1 Peter 2:24.

c. If there is unrepented sin, we are told to confess our faults to one another
and pray for one another that we may be healed – James 5:16.
d. If it’s a demonic problem, we know Jesus came to destroy the works of

the devil (1 John 3:8b) and that “these signs shall follow them that
believe; In my name shall they cast out devils” (Mark 16:17).
e. Meditating on the Word brings faith, true, but it cannot be a legalistic

thing, because the letter of the law kills. It is the Spirit that brings life –
2 Corinthians 3:6.
5. We can trust our Wonderful Counselor to tell us what we need to know and
what we need to do.
V. Man’s Search For Significance
A. As counselors we must identify clearly the deepest personal needs of the

counselee.
1. A sense of personal worth
a. The basic personal need of each person is to regard himself as a worth-

while human being.
b. It is not based on how he feels about himself but on the incredible value
Christ places on a person’s worth – Psalms 139:13-18.
c It is crucial to man’s spiritual, emotional, and social stability and is the

driving element within the human spirit.
2. Significance
a. A purpose for living which gives a person a real and lasting impact on his
world.
b. A purpose which he is completely adequate to accomplish – Philippians

2:13.
1) Self-acceptance becomes a reality when a person grasps the truth that

God designed him perfectly to fit His purpose and sets his will to be
in the center of God’s will – Ephesians 2:10.
3. Security

a. Adam and Eve in the garden cut themselves off from a life of purpose
and significance. They also cut themselves off from the security of God’s
love, which their innermost being desperately desired – Genesis 3.
b. God’s plan to re-establish the love relationship between man and Himself
was fulfilled in the Lord Jesus Christ – John 3:16.
c. As believers, we are so secure in Him that nothing, absolutely nothing

can separate from His love – Romans 8:38, 39.
4. Love
a. He is our true source for love and acceptance. Only He knows how to
fulfill all of our needs.
VI. Examining Your Concept of God – Philippians 3:10; Ephesians 3:17-19
A. The origin of our concept of God
1. Our relationships with our parents shape our concept of God and establish
the foundation of our emotional, relational, and spiritual health.
a. If our parents were supportive and loving, we will probably feel that God
is strong and loving.
b. If our parents were harsh and demanding, we will probably feel that it is
impossible to please God (see Colossians 3:21).
2. As we examine our relationships with our parents it is important not to focus

on assigning fault or blame, but on exploring our feelings.
a. Feelings are neither right or wrong – feelings simply are (see Ephesians
4:26-27)
b. It’s not what occurred in your home that matters, but how you reacted
and felt about it when you were a child.
c. Each child responds differently – in fact, two children reared in the same
home will probably have different feelings about childhood events.
B. Everyone has two concepts of God – one intellectual and one emotional

1. Our emotional concept – how we feel about God – was often shaped in our
minds when we were young children.
a. As young children, we lacked the verbal skills to describe what we felt.
b. In our hearts, we may have felt that God was critical, angry, or demanding.
2. Our intellect concept – our logical, verbal knowing about God – was devel-
oped later in our life.
a. In our heads we believe that what the Bible says about God is true.
b. Our intellectual concept is that God is kind and loving.
3. The two concepts are often in conflict – giving the impression that God has a
split personality.
4. Having these conflicting concepts of God can make us miserable, causing us

to turn to addictive behaviors, and keeping us very confused.
5. It is a great benefit to see the difference between what you know and what
you feel about God.
C. Our false concept of this “split-personality god” keeps us from believing and
trusting in the true God.
1. We cannot rest and trust in His goodness.
a. Instead, we continue trying to be God – and to control our own lives –

which is insane and extremely unreasonable!
b. This results in performance orientation.
2. False beliefs keep us from receiving – and being transformed by – God’s

love (Romans 12:2, Ephesians 2:8-9).
3. The false beliefs are based on the world-system’s formula:
“SELF-WORTH = PERFORMANCE + OTHER’S OPINIONS”
D. Four false beliefs that perpetrate the power of habitual, destructive thought pat-
terns in our lives – patterns that mar our relationships with others. (see chart)
1. False Belief #1: I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself.

a. This false belief results in the fear of failure.
b. This false belief should not be confused with healthy goal setting.
c. This false belief can result in abusive self talk as we see our own human
imperfections.
2. False Belief #2: I must have the approval of certain others to feel good about
myself. Without their approval I cannot feel good about myself.
a. This false belief results in the fear of rejection.
b. Do not confuse this false belief with a healthy caring for people.
3. False Belief #3: Those who fail (including myself) are unworthy of love and
deserve to be punished.
a. This false belief leads to guilt (the fear of punishment) and the tendency
to punish others.
b. The “rules” we feel we must obey are often unwritten, but rigid. Since
they are never defined, we can’t look ahead and avoid breaking them.
1) This learned behavior comes from living with inconsistency.
2) This behavior leads to despair.
4. False Belief #4: I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless.
a. This false belief tells us we are no more than a sum of all our past per-
formances, both good and bad (I am what I have done).
b. This false belief leads to a sense of shame.
1) Webster’s Dictionary defines shame as a painful emotion caused by

consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety; humiliating dis-
grace or disrepute.
E. Believing God’s Word – the Truth – is the only way to break out of our
habitual, destructive thought patterns.
1. We need increasingly to believe that God can restore us to health and sanity
through His Son Jesus Christ.
a. Our habitual actions are usually based on our beliefs.

b. As our beliefs change, our actions will change.
2. The truth is based on the formula:
“SELF-WORTH = GOD’S TRUTH ABOUT YOU”
3. In the Bible, God gives us four key truths to counteract the four false beliefs:
a. Justification
b. Reconciliation
c. Propitiation
d. Regeneration
F. Breaking out of familiar patterns of behavior may take time.
1. Our false belief system resulted in habits that took years to develop and may
not change overnight.
2. God will open our eyes to see the extent to which we act upon these decep-
tions.
3. As we continue to take time to study God’s Word and experience His truth at
work in our lives, our perception of God, ourselves, and others will be
changed and renewed.
4. Learning to apply God’s truth to our lives may be painful at times, but will
be rich, rewarding, and exciting!
VII. Forgiveness – The Key To Victory
A. Forgiveness is the foundation of the gospel. We are forgiven by Jesus.
1. As forgiven people we are called to forgive those who sin against us and as
we do, we sow to the Spirit. The opposite of forgiveness is sowing to the
flesh – passing judgment either knowingly or through ignorance or a
deceived heart. Galatians 6:7,8.
2. Many believers suffer because they have not forgiven those who have hurt,
offended, or rejected them, resulting in their needs not being met for love,
approval and acceptance.

FORGIVENESS - A DECISION
Hurt — Anger Turned Inward — Defensiveness — A Protected Life
Unresolved hurt and anger lead to guilt and defensiveness that is

manifested in:
Exaggerations
Critical attitudes
Rationalization
Excessive shyness Depression Bitterness Excuse-making
Perfectionism
Compulsive work
Pleasing others
Resulting in:
Physical and Emotional Problems

Satanic Strongholds
“For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the
destruction of fortresses.” — 2 Corinthians 10:4
SATAN’S WEAPONS PRODUCE SATAN’S STRONGHOLDS
Hate Guilt
Fear Depression
Unforgiveness Loneliness
Condemnation (Blame) Illness and Disease
OUR WEAPONS THROUGH GOD OUR VICTORY IN CHRIST
Love Strongholds Destroyed

Faith Spiritual Maturity
Forgiveness Renewed Mind
Praise Peace and Joy
Spiritual Authority Healthy Body

B. What Forgiveness Is Not
1. Forgetting. You may think you have forgiven when you have only tried to
forget the sin against you.
2. Rationalizing or Justifying. This is excusing or reasoning away the sin

against you.
3. Denying. This is suppressing the reality of the sin.
4. Asking God to forgive your offender. Not if you have not made a decision to
forgive him.
5. Asking the offender to forgive you. That comes only after you have forgiven
him and been before the Lord concerning your attitude toward him.
C. What Forgiveness is
1. A decision. An act of the will, done by faith before God, in which we give
up our right to hold another person accountable for the wrong they have done
to us.
2. Releasing your offender – Matthew 18:27. Three inner decisions:
a. See the offense as sin, not just a wrong.
b. View the sin from the position of Jesus on Calvary – a completed work.
c. Make a decision to forgive.
3. Repentance of unforgiveness and bitterness. Ask God’s forgiveness–1 John 1:9.
4. Releasing yourself from the guilt. Forgive yourself.
D. A Statement of Forgiveness:
“I forgive, ____(their name)____, for ____(specifics)____. I take authority

over you, Satan, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the power of
His resurrected life. I take back the ground I have allowed you to gain in my
life because of my attitude toward__________(their name)____ and I give
this ground back to my Lord Jesus Christ.
E. Forgiveness is a Process

1. The initial decision to forgive the person must be followed by the faith walk
of forgiveness. Apply additional forgiveness if and when necessary.
2. New offenses can be forgiven as they occur without linking them to past
offenses, which have already been forgiven.
VIII. Basic Attending Skills
A. Why are attending skills important?
1. They provide a fundamental understanding and competence in the most

important skills of helping, counseling, and therapy.
2. They provide the means for you to make contact with your clients and to
hear them accurately.
3. These skills are basic to empathy, the ability to be sensitive to and under-
stand the world of another human being.
4. They include individually and culturally appropriate verbal and nonverbal

behavior in the interview that are central to the counseling process—eye con-
tact, vocal tone, body language, and verbal following.
5. They demonstrate that you are listening and encourage the client to talk more
freely. (Good listeners are a magnet.)
6. The goal of attending in counseling and coaching is emphatic listening:
a. The ability to stand in the other’s shoes and feel what they are feeling
b. To listen without any attempt to fix them, discount their emotions, or

deny or avoid what they are trying to tell us
c. To listen in such a way that the other person feels valued, accepted, and
understood.
B. Our model for attending is God.
C. Basic Attending Skills components
1. Eye contact—look but do not stare – take some breaks.

2. Attentive body language—Position:forward trunk lean with easy open posture
3. Vocal style—speech rate, volume, tone
4. Verbal following—respond naturally—don’t topic jump or interrupt
5. Movement synchrony – your body often mirrors that of your client if you are
really listening
6. Observe cultural differences—avoid eye contact as respect, closer distance,

lengthy greetings, subtle communication
7. Individual differences—keys to understanding the speaker
D. Additional components
1. Really listening
2. Paying attention without distraction
3. Validating behavior
4. Approving look
5. Nodding
6. The look of valuing in your eyes
a. Value the person, not what they do
b. It comes from the heart and cannot be faked.
c. Unconditional positive regard
E. Listening—Becoming a coach requires an extraordinary ability to listen.

“Listening affirms and empowers people to express themselves.” – Stoltzfus
1. Definition of listening: A relationship in which the receiver actually receives

exactly what the speaker meant to send—words, meta-communication, emo-
tions, intentions, value, and motivation--and does not intentionally or unin-
tentionally add anything to that message.
2. Listening communicates value and acceptance especially for women who use
it to connect and maintain relationships.

3. We must get the deeper meaning of what is being said—reading in between
the lines
4. We must act on what we hear or it does us no good - Not just hearing.

Women complain “They don’t listen.”
5. Not “tuned out,” analyzing, or “fixing it.”
a. Something they say makes us curious.
b. We identify “the problem.”
1) We develop a potential solution.
2) We develop a strategy to get the person to see our solution.
6. Not distracted—hard to multi-task real listening with other thinking or tasks
a. Not personal issues
b. Not doing something else in your mind
c. Shows your priorities
1) Not just waiting for your turn to talk
2) Not interrupting
3) Value what is being said
7. Value the emotions as well. Invalidation of emotion is a huge problem.
8. Value the person
9. Honor the person and what they have to say—“Expressing acceptance and
belief in a person often brings about faster growth than pointing out what is
wrong.” – Stoltzfus
F. Attending is more nonverbal than anything else.
1. How you come across to others
2. Not looking at something else

3. Not looking straight through the person
4. Not hiding your face (Client can feel like a little kid if I do not see you are
not there.)
G. Not attending also sends a message.
1. Rejection
2. Cold shoulder
3. I don’t care.
4. You are not as important as I am.
5. I don’t value you.
H. Mistakes
1. Prying into another’s personal life—voyeurism
2. Rescuing so the client will not experience emotional pain
3. Focusing on the negative—what are the positive aspects?
4. Focusing on doing the right thing rather than listening
5. Trying to be like someone else
6. Giving advice or trying to solve the problem too soon
7. Trying to apply the same methods to all clients
8. Not adapting the style to the client but making him adapt to you
9. Not being culturally sensitive
10. Culture stereotyping
I. Rules for working with groups or families
1. Balance your attending—look at all members evenly.

2. Similar body postures–mirroring one another indicate alliances.
3. Those in conflict avert eye contact and show body tension.
4. Use words - 1/3 group or family, 1/3 on members, 1/3 on topic.
J. You must learn to turn off the conversation in your head.
1. It helps to use a different paradigm.
a. Don’t try to solve their problem.
b. You are helping them find their own solutions and hear from the Holy
Spirit. You are “teaching them how to fish.”
2. Eliminate distractions.
3. Have a supportive environment.
K. The use of non-attending to send a message.
1. Taking back the interview if you cannot get the client to stop talking
2. To stop excessive talking in a group
IX. Questioning: the power of the question
A. Questions help the interview along.
1. They open areas for discussion and assist in pinpointing issues.
2. They can be used to facilitate client self-exploration.
3. Questions indicate that a person is interested in you and what you have to say.
4. Good questions help people explore themselves and their feelings more deeply.
5. Powerful questioning is an essential part of coaching.
B. However, questions can make a person feel interrogated.

1. Questions asked too early can interfere with the development of rapport.
2. They can make people put up defenses rather than open up.
C. The Bible endorses questions—they are helpful and necessary for interview-
ing but we must be aware of their limitations.
D. Critical skills of questioning
1. Open invitation to talk
a. Stay out of the way to find out how the client perceives the situation and
defines the issues.
b. Open questions encourage talking and exploration.
1) Examples: “Tell me more,” “How are your feeling?” “What are some
things you like about…?”
2) Use more focused open questions in the beginning of the interview.
a) Good questions pass control to the client even though they could
be answered yes or no.
b) They empower the client to answer the question as they desire

even allowing them to not respond at all.
c) They provide the best overview of the situation and help define
the problem more clearly.
d) Use questions to obtain concrete examples.
e) “What” questions help the client talk about facts and specifics
about a situation or event and explain what happened.
f) “How” questions lead to talking about the process, sequence of

events or emotions. Emotions help clients get more deeply into
their emotions.
g) “Why” questions ask the client to search for reasons underlying

their behavior, thoughts, or emotions and are used for analysis.
They can be difficult to answer especially for children under 14.
They are used especially by insight therapists.
c. Closed questions ask for data and yes or no answers and ignore feelings.

They are still useful to fill in details and structure the interview.
However, they can get the interviewer concentrating on what questions to
ask rather than listening.
1) Usually use “are” and “do.” Example: “Do you like cake?”
2) Used for less verbal clients
3) Used to collect data for charting or problem solving
4) Used to clarify later in the interview
5) Used to collect specific facts to clarify abstractions
6) Used when the client feels threatened
7) Used when you have a limited amount of time
8) Leading closed questions like lawyers use are dangerous and may
mislead you in what your client is really expressing.
9) Warning signs
a) You are talking more than the client is.
b) Questions are longer than the answers.
c) Conversation is strained due to few answers.
d) Answering yes or no would make client look bad.
e) Conversation seems to shut down.
10) Convert closed questions to open ones by adding how, which, or what
d. Reflective questions help the client get in touch with what he is feeling.
1) Feed back to the client what you feel they are feeling.
2) Like a paraphrase - adding what you think the client is thinking or

feeling
3) Look for distortions in their thinking patterns.
a) Echoes from the past?
b) Do they actually have evidence?

c) Are they looking at all possibilities?
d) Are they minimizing or exaggerating?
e) Are they using black and white thinking?
f) Are they generalizing from a single incident?
e. Powerful questions (coaching) open up a whole new world by getting outside

the box—seeing it another way, other options, and gathering more info.
1) “The bread and butter” of the coach
2) Used to focus conversation, foster exploration, push the client to dig

deeper and reach higher, and ensure commitment
3) Ask bigger questions—ones that have more options— rather than giv-
ing advice—think backward—what is the big question you are trying
to solve? They open more options.
4) Avoid solution-oriented questions—a sign of pushing too hard.
5) Crafting great probing questions like Jesus did—the open up the tun-
nel based on intuitive listening and indicators. Pick out the most
important thing the client said that made you curious and ask the
client to explore on it further. “Tell me more about…
a) Use the client’s words
b) Succinct
c) Neutral
d) Must withhold judgment
f. With less verbal clients
1) Build trust at the client’s pace.
2) Expect some randomness
3) Balance open and closed questions
4) If necessary give multiple-choice answers
g. With children

1) Be warm and talkative.
2) Use play therapy (like puppets) to help them open up.
3) Have them do things (like drawing) while they are talking
h. The overall goals
1) General picture of what is happening (could?)
2) Key facts about the situation (what?)
3) Emotions (how?)
4) Draw out the reasons if appropriate (why?)
5) Remember to blend with your other attending skills.
i. Families and groups
1) Use the word “family” or “group” to help them focus on their part in
the group or family.
2) Observe and/or challenge the family style, rules, and norms.
X. Clarifying: the “Minimal Encourage” and Paraphrase
A. Facilitates further conversation in depth
1. These skills show the client that you have heard what has been said. When a
person feels heard, they tend to build trust in the listener and are willing to
say more.
2. Both skills use the words of the client to say back the most important things
that have been said.
3. Selecting keywords for encouraging and paraphrasing are two of the most
difficult and important skills to master.
B. The “minimal encourage” helps the client explore issues in more depth.
They are small indicators to the client that you are with them. They encour-
age the client to keep talking.

1. Non-verbal minimal encourages are elaborations of attending behavior
including eye contact, body posture, head nods, and open questions.
2. Verbal minimal encourages are brief utterances to help the client continue
such as Oh, So, Then? And? Uh-huh, Tell me more, repeating one to two
words.
3. Silence can also be used—wait before responding.
4. Make sure you are comfortable.
5. Repeating words results in the client elaborating. This is used more by expe-
rienced counselors.
C. The paraphrase focuses on what has been said and uses a longer time frame.
1. Used to let the client know that they have been heard
a. It is the computer “line check” of accurate communication.
b. Where the minimal encourage leads to elaboration, the paraphrase indi-

cates the client has been heard and can continue or clarify if he has not
been heard accurately.
2. Follow the paraphrase with a “check-out” question like “Am I hearing you
correctly?” or “Okay?”
3. A paraphrase is not an interpretation where you add or share your explana-

tion. It is better if the client can come up with the interpretation. At least save
for later in the session after you have fully heard the client.
D. Using clarifying skills with groups or families
1. Use open-ended questions and encourages to bring out less-verbal members.
2. Focus your helping statements on the family or group.
E. Add questions, encourages, and paraphrasing to your other attending skills.

Practice Exercise
Nothing is more satisfying than being heard. Your questions and the minimal encour-
age help draw out the client's story. The paraphrase shows the client that you have
accurately heard their story and issues.
In this session, you will focus on asking open questions, the minimal encourage, and the
paraphrase.
Break into groups and practice these skills with each other. Each group should have a
counselor and a client.
1. Assign roles for the first brief role-play.

2. The client decides what he or she would like to talk about. We suggest talking about
a family situation/story, either from the family of origin or their present family. The
family story can be positive or negative, past or present. The task of the counselor is
to use attending behavior and questions to bring out the story and then to use a vari-
ety of minimal encourages to keep the client talking and elaborating. At several
points, the counselor should paraphrase what the client has been saying, using the key
words of the client.
3. Watch time carefully. The role-play should be 4-5 minutes in length.
4. Provide observer feedback – On a separate sheet of paper to note the following
behaviors of the counselor.
O=Open question C=Closed question E= Minimal encourage

P=Paraphrase
5. Be as specific and concrete in your feedback as possible.
6. Rotate roles so that everyone has a chance to be counselor and a client.
Practice
1. What are some of the ways you can use the concepts of questioning, the minimal
encourage, and paraphrasing in your own daily communication?
2. Practice listening to your family and friends and asking them open-ended questions.
Then report the results back to others in your group.
3. Teach someone attending skills.

STUDENT
HANDOUTS
CHART OF FALSE BELIEFS
Satan’s False
Consequences Truths
Deceptions Belief
I must meet Justification

The
certain standards Because of justification, I am completely
Performance Fear of failure
to feel good about forgiven and fully pleasing to God.
Trap
myself.
© 2007 Life Christian University

I must have
the approval of Reconciliation
Approval
certain others to Fear of rejection Because of reconciliation,
Addict
feel good about I am totally accepted by God.
myself.
Those who fail Propitiation

The (including myself) Fear of
Because of propitiation, I am deeply
Counseling with Scripture

Blame are unworthy of punishment
loved by God. I no longer have to fear
Game love and deserve punishment or punish others.
to be punished.
I am what I am. Feelings

Regeneration
I cannot change. of shame
Shame Because of regeneration, I have been
I am hopeless. made brand-new, complete in Christ.
HD-1
Worksheet: Study the “Chart of False Beliefs.”
Then fill in the missing information in the grid below from memory.
SATAN’S FALSE BELIEFS CONSEQUENCES TRUTHS

DECEPTIONS
THE
PERFORMANCE
TRAP
APPROVAL
ADDICT
THE BLAME
GAME
SHAME
© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture HD-2

THE ROMAN ROAD TO SALVATION
Salvation is entering into a personal relationship with God thru personal faith in Jesus
Christ. Unless the Lord Jesus Christ is in a person’s life, obviously he cannot make the
necessary changes in his life. Before he trusts the Lord Jesus Christ in a personal surren-
der, the Holy Spirit must convince him that he is a born sinner.
Romans 3:10 – none righteous, not even one.
Romans 3:23 – all have sinned and come short of the glory of God
Romans 5:12 – sin entered thru one man (Adam) and death by sin; so death passed to all
men because all have sinned
Romans 6:23 – wages of sin is death; gift of God is eternal life thru Jesus Christ our Lord
Romans 5:8 – God proves His love for us while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 10:9, 10 – if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your
heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. With the heart man believes
unto righteousness, with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
Romans 10:13 – whoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture HD-3

FOR THE
INSTRUCTOR
CHART OF FALSE BELIEFS - EXPANDED VERSION
Satan’s False Consequences of God’s Specific Results of

Deceptions Belief False Beliefs Solution God’s Solution
#1: Fear of failure Justification Increasing freedom from the fear
I must meet Perfectionism; driven to Means that God has not only forgiven me of of failure; love for Christ; and a
The certain stan- succeed; manipulating my sins, but has also granted me the right- growing desire to pursue the
Performance dards to feel others to achieve eousness of Christ. Because of justification right things: Christ and His
Trap good about success; withdrawal I bear Christ’s righteousness and am there- kingdom
myself. from risks fore fully pleasing to God (Romans 5:1).
#2: Fear of rejection Reconciliation Increasing freedom from the fear

I must have Attempting to please (to bring into harmony) Means that although of rejection; willingness to be
the approval of others at any cost; I was at one time hostile toward God and open and vulnerable; able to
certain others to overly sensitive to alienated from Him, I am now forgiven and relax around others; willingness
Approval feel good about criticism; withdrawing have been brought into an intimate relation- to take criticism; desire to
Addict myself. from others to avoid ship with Him. Consequently, I am totally please God, no matter what oth-
disapproval accepted by God (Col. 1:21-22). ers think.
#3: Fear of punishment Propitiation Increasing freedom from the fear

Those who fail Punishing others; blam- Means that Christ satisfied God’s judgment of punishment; patience and
(including ing others for personal by His death on the cross; therefore, I am kindness toward others; being
The myself) are failure; withdrawal from deeply loved by God (1 John 4:9-11). quick to apply forgiveness; deep
Blame unworthy of God and others; driven love for Christ
Game love and to avoid failure
deserve to be
punished.
#4: Feelings of shame Regeneration Increasing freedom from feelings
I am what I am. Hopelessness; inferiori- Means that I am a new creation in Christ, of shame; Christ-centered self-
I cannot change. ty; passivity; loss of cre- complete in Him. I no longer need to confidence; joy, courage, peace;
Shame I am hopeless. ativity; isolation; with- experience shame (John 3:3-6, Titus 3:3-7, desire to know Christ in all His
drawal from others, guilt 2 Cor. 5:17, Col. 2:9-10). fullness.
THE SOLID ROCK
By Edward Mote (1797-1874)
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace;
In ev’ry high and stormy gale my anchor holds within the veil.
His oath, His covenant, His blood support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.
When He shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in Him be found,
Dressed in His righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.
Refrain:
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

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COURSE SYLLABUS

COUNSELING WITH SCRIPTURE

COURSE REQUIREMENTS: All Students

COURSE REQUIREMENTS: Graduate-Level Students

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture

COURSE TITLE: _____________________________________________________________

■ I have read all of the required reading.

■ I have attended all classes or listened to recordings of any missed lectures.

■ I have turned in the required course exam.

Print Name: __________________________________________________________________

Completing the Course Requirements

Failure to Complete Course Requirements

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture

I. The Christian Counselor

A. Definition of the word “counsel”

1. Webster’s Dictionary - to give advice, guidance, instruction, direction, rec-

2. Biblical definition – to lovingly confront a person out of deep concern using

B. Characteristics of a Christian Counselor

1. Total reliance on God, His Word, and the Holy Spirit

2. A mature Christian grounded in the fundamentals of the faith, able to teach

6. Competent to counsel (Romans 15:14; Colossians 1:28; 1 Thessalonians 5:14)

8. Trustworthy; can keep a confidence

C. Goal of Christian Counseling

1. To assist the counselee in understanding God’s solution to the need or prob-

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture 1

A. As our counselor, His ministry is to advise, to resolve, to consult with us; to

1. Jesus and the Bible are both the Word of God.

3. The Bible is the written Word of God.

1. The anointed Word transforms us by renewing our minds – Romans 12:1,2.

D. Knowing the Truth sets you free – John 8:32

1. Thy Word is truth – John 17:17

2. 2 Timothy 3:16 – All scripture is given by inspiration and is profitable for:

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture 2

Detour Back on the Path

E. Words spoken by others can wound us or heal us.

1. The words of the wicked destroy.

c. “The eyes of the Lord preserve knowledge, and he overthroweth the

2. The words of the righteous bring healing:

a. “The tongue of the wise is health” (Proverbs 12:18b).

F. Recovery comes through acknowledging the truth – 2 Timothy 2:25,26

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture 3

3. Recovery from this snare comes by:

a. Acknowledging the truth – 2 Timothy 2:26

b. Humbling yourself and drawing close to God – James 4:6-8.

c. Receiving healing (God's provision) – Isaiah 53:4,5.

a. The entrance of the Word gives light – Psalm 119:130.

6. Correction is sometime grievous, but necessary.

a. We must submit ourselves to the wise counsel of the Word of God to be

2) “Heaviness in the heart of man makes it stoop, but a good word

1) “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but griev-

c. If we are going to receive healing we must receive it from God according

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture 4

1. The Word of God is the only sure foundation – Luke 6:46-49.

b. Building a solid foundation requires:

2) Hearing His Word

2. The anointed Word of God always produces life – John 6:63.

III. Who Do We Counsel?

A. Broken-hearted people – those who are crushed, shattered, in pieces; with

© 2007 Life Christian University Counseling with Scripture 5

1. Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred: expectations, dreams burst as the result of

2. Proverbs. 15:13 – Sorrow of the heart: pained, grieved at a loss, tragedy,

3. Proverbs 17:25 – Grief to a father, bitterness to her that bear him.