BIPASHA BANERJEE SAP ID 75302300042 BATCH 1

LOST IN NEVERLAND:

NAVIGATING THE WHIMSICAL

WORLD OF THE PETER PAN

SYNDROME.

Subtitle: The Playful Trip in the Realm of

Eternal Youth: J. M. Barrie’s Story and the

Comedy of Being a Kid Forever…

Introduction:

Hello, travellers of the world of eternal youth! Beginning our trip to the realm of Peter Pan

Syndrome, where being an adult is a choice and wrinkles are just escaped fairy dust sprinkles

that went AWOL. The captain behind this joyous trip is none other than J. M Barrie who

bestowed us with the timeless story of Peter Pan as a gift that we cherish to date. Therefore,

tighten your imaginary belt and hold on to some pixie dust as we soar through the mysteries

of eternal youth accompanied by laughter.

Newsflash - You Might Be Living in Neverland... – A Land of Choice Where Being an

Adult Is Optional.

Before we jump straight into the life story of our Captain J. M. Barrie, let us first understand

the concept of the Peter Pan Syndrome. Do you know anyone who seems to live in

Neverland, chasing butterflies and avoiding any and all responsibility? They may be suffering

from what is referred to as Peter Pan Syndrome by a psychologist, Dan Kiley, who observed

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this interesting phenomenon among some adults. To paint a picture for you, imagine Wendy

Darling, now an adult woman, in a relationship with such charming Peter Pan who still

dreams about treehouses and pirates. While amusing initially, envision the rage when he

neglects to pay rent or goes berserk because you want to discuss budgets, or worse, paying

taxes!

In fact, researchers created a scale for measuring this “never growing” thing with questions

such as “I shy away from taking up leadership positions” and “I sometimes feel like an

impostor”. Do not panic, we will all have our Peter Pan moments but if you begin to feel that

living is a Neverland dance party without end then it may be time to put some pixie dust on

reality and learn how fly more responsible. The Peter Pan Syndrome described by these

researchers is “a concept that used to characterize the “never-growing” men who have

reached an adult age but cannot face their adult sensations and responsibilities”. (Melek

Kalkan, et al, 2019)

Barrie’s Neverland Chronicles – A Case Study in Timeless Play.

Let us now divert our attention to the life of J. M. Barrie – The Pied Piper of Neverland.

For a moment Barrie was not just a writer, he was the piper leading us into worlds of

everlasting play. To put it in better words, Barrie wasn’t just telling stories; he was

conducting an orchestra of escapism. J. M. Barrie’s life is aptly described as a whimsical

dance between the harsh reality and the magical universe of Neverland. He was born in 1860,

Kirriemuir, Scotland. Growing up, he had to face the loss of his brother David at a very

young age. This loss had an everlasting impact on the life of Barrie, that also lead to the him

creating Peter Pan, the eternal boy who never grew up.

 Lost in his imagination – Barrie was vividly imaginative in his childhood, which

could be seen as a coping mechanism. His ability to escape into his own imaginary

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world from the harsh world of reality was a coping mechanism as well as the onset of

his creative mind.

 Dress for the Play – Barrie’s Whimsical Wardrobe – a noticeable part of Barrie’s

life was his unique wardrobe. His clothes were usually characterized by collars and

oversized hats. The oversized clothes could also be seen as a visual manifesto against

the trappings and cages of growing up. In the context of the Peter Pan Syndrome, this

may be viewed as a visual refusal to grow up and a desire to always remain and

maintain a childlike spirit.

 The impact of a mother’s love – but make it Disney. – Barrie’s mother, Margaret,

was an extremely important figure in his life naturally. However, after his brother’s

death, she could never quite get over the grief of that loss. Which resulted in her

idealizing him as a boy who could never grow up and was saved from the impurities

of the real world and of adulthood. Barrie internalized this grief of his mother and

created Peter Pan, the boy who never grows up, a manifestation of his attempt to

immortalize the purity of childhood and youth. A significant event in his life was

when he once wore his brother’s clothes and appeared in front of his mother, she had

mistaken him for David, however upon realizing it was J. M. Barrie, she said “oh its

just you”. This left the possible impact in his mind, that an individual is only loved

and wanted so long as they remain a child. This was the possible onset of the Peter

Pan Syndrome in Barrie.

 The man who literally never grew up – Although there is no proven connection

between J. M. Barrie’s height and physical attributes to the Peter Pan Syndrome or

psychology but it sure is an interesting facet to explore. J. M. Barrie never actually

grew more than about 5 feet in height , which is shorter than me (I am 5’2”) and his

self-image and perceptions may have had a role to play in that. Tall height is often

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associated with maturity and authority, however for Barrie, the perception of someone

who deserved love was a child, strongly influenced by his mother, which may have

resulted in his stunted growth. Biologically there is no link between one’s height and

psychology, however him using his defence mechanisms so rigidly could have caused

the short height. To preserve himself, he never let himself grow. A possibility for

sure. How else can you explain it? There was nothing wrong in his genetics, no signs

of dwarfism, nothing. This begs the questions, is there a ‘Never Grow Up’ gene

lurking in us too?

Unlocking The Neverland Within – The Bio-Adventure Of The Peter Pan Syndrome

 Neuro-Trailblazing: Paint a picture, your brain is a heavily crowded theme park

of various neurotransmitters. In this carnival, Dopamine, the merry go round, may

play the most significant role. The whispers of the scientific world tell us that

imbalances in these dopamine levels in an individual could be the mastermind

behind the never-ending pleasure seeking. According to Colin G. DeYoung, 2013

dopamine is responsible for the reward approach behaviour, exploration, and other

aspects of cognition.

 Hormonal Hide and Seek: Ever heard of Cortisol, the stress master? It is that

hormone which calms you down and regulates your stress levels, the stress that is

often synonymous with adulthood. An over release of this hormone causes one to

sort of just go where the pixie dust takes him. Personality traits like extraversions

are lower and neuroticism when there is less Cortisol (Lynn M Oswald, et al,

2006)

 A Genetic Treasure Hunt: what if your genes were the navigator to the path to

Neverland? From the case of J. M. Barrie, we can see that his physiology may

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have been directly affected by his psychology. However, could it be possible that

an individual’s genetic, stunted growth, or other developmental issues, may affect

their psychology and result in an “I am never growing up” attitude.

 Evolutionary rollercoaster: in the grand carnival of evolution, our behaviours

are the rollercoaster. A lot of our characteristic traits such as risk aversion, which

were meant to be for the safekeeping of our ancestors may be the cause behind our

active reluctance to trade the rollercoaster ride for doing taxes and a 9-5 job.

A Real Life and Pop Cultural Safari Through The Peter Pan Phenomenon

Now that we have uncovered the buried biological treasures in the neverland soil, lets sail on

to further real-life implications of it. What happens when the steering wheel of our lives is

controlled and taken over by the never growing attitude of the Peter Pan Syndrome?

 Peter the forever young romantic: Have you ever met someone who is quite

literally allergic to commitment? Often fluttering from one romantic partner to

another. The Peter Pan Syndrome may be controlling this aspect of their life then. The

fear of settling down and facing the too many responsibilities of a mature serious

relation is a classic example of the Peter Pan Syndrome. Here’s some food for

thought, if you had to place a character in this description, who would it be? Joey or

Chandler?

 Forever Teenage Tunes: When you tune into Spotify, there is a high chance of

finding the catchy melody of the eternal teenager. From “I Won’t Grow Up” by Peter

Pan himself to “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry, pop culture often romanticise and

idealize the allure of an immortal youth. These are also the tunes that become anthems

for us in our own transition into adulthood.

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 Big Screen Neverland: Our screens have always and forever been sprinkled with

characters almost exactly similar to the lost boys, dancing to the tune of Peter Pan.

Take Ferris Bueller – the high school boy who would skip his classes with a clever

grin. His escapades are an example of his defiance and refusal against adult norms,

proving that the Peter Pan Syndrome is not just confined to stories an fairy tales.

Unmasking Neverland – the Peter Pan Syndrome’s plot holes!

As we tread onto the path of eternal youth it is also time to cast an eye on the theory of the

Peter Pan Syndrome. In the grand realm of psychology, even the most enchanting theories

have their limitations and loopholes. Join the journey as we go on to a quest of uncovering

the loopholes of neverland!

 Lost in transition: the grey area of Growth – The theory of the Peter Pan Syndrome

is highly oversimplified. It does not include the complex journey and the steps of

personal growth. Life is an album of experiences and this theory does not fully

capture the multiple transitions one goes through their life. Its like trying to fit a

kaleidoscope into one single hue. Impossible isn’t it!

 Who defines adulting? – The theory of the Peter Pan Syndrome views adulting from

the glasses of just one universal definition of an adult, overlooking and completely

ignoring the cultural and individual variations and traits that can shape this concept.

For example, the collectivist culture of India promotes living with your parents even

as an adult, but would that be the same as the people majorly experiencing the Peter

Pan complex? I don’t think so.

 Temporary detour or permanent residence? – Another chink in the Armor lies in

the theory’s highly binary perspective. According to it, individuals can either just

embrace adulthood with open arms or completely resist it. But it doesn’t take into

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account those who may take a temporary detour to neverland for a vacation of sorts

and return with newfound wisdom. Life is rarely black and white, sometimes it is a

huge spectrum of greys. The theory does not take in account people embracing

adulthood but finding difficulties adjusting to it. The time taken by each individual to

fit into the fast pace of adult life is different and this theory overlooks that.

Conclusion:

Against this backdrop of the grand carnival that is life, Peter Pan Syndrome brings with it a

splash of colour and pixie dust. It also does not forget about its good measure of the “I won’t

grow up attitude”! Whether you are a Lost Boy, or one of those who love Tinker Bell, the fact

remains that growing up is optional but laughter can never be negotiated.

References:

1. Peter Pan Syndrome “Men Who Don’t Grow”: Developing a Scale. Melek Kalkan,

Meryem Vural Batık, Leyla Kaya, and Merve Turan (2019)

2. The neuromodulator of exploration: A unifying theory of the role of dopamine jin

personality. Colin G. DeYoung. (2013)

3. Relationship between Cortisol Response to Stress and Personality. Lynn M Oswald,

Peter Zandi, Gerald Nestadt, James B Potash, Amanda E Kalaydjian & Gary S Wand

(2006)