NADINE’S GOT TALENT – THOMAS COVE

BGT Theme Song Plays

Ant/Dec (Possible V/O?)

Welcome back to Britain’s Got Talent I’m Ant and/or Dec, next up
we’ve got rising star Nadine Dorries, who’s not letting any
nonsense get in her way

Nadine Dorries walks onto stage infront of the Judges

Simon
Hi, what’s your name?

Nadine
Why? (indignant pause) Why are you asking me that question?

Simon
Because both the audience and I would like to know

Nadine
Nadine.

Amanda
Sorry, have you told our producers what your act is?

Nadine
Well, well, we have… communicated

Simon
Is that a difficult question?

Nadine
We have communicated

Amanda
What have you communicated to them?

Nadine
That’s, that’s, I’m not going to tell you the extent of my
communications, I’ve answered your question, what’s your next
question?

Simon
What’s your act like?

Nadine
I’d say my act is, er, er, very positive. Extremely positive.

Amanda
Okay, well would you like to get on and show us what you’ve got?
 Nadine
What, here? Or is there somewhere I can go to get ready

Amanda
Right here is fine?...

Nadine,
Well, ok then.
Nadine starts undressing

Simon
Nadine, you are aware this isn’t channel 4 and you’ve been
banned from naked attraction?

Nadine
Boris, it’s off

BoJo (coming on with dick out)

Oh, for fuck’s sake