elf he an belie e he c ld kee c n lling and mani la ing

in c n in ing be hei l .
I i c mm n f a i ha e a eall ha d ime e laining ha he ha e
been h gh, beca e in hei mind i d e n nd ha bad, and he fea e le
ill hink me hing i ng i h hem. A h a e I hea f en in l cal
g i c a -making. Whene e ne e n e ha e m, he me
in en h ia ic n dding f head , i h mile f em a h and elief ha e a e n
he nl ne ha feel hi a .
Man ha e h al ne he feel and mi nde d b he h ha e n
e e ienced hi e f hidden ab e. A i ill f en a a en ence b
a ing, I know this might not seem that bad, and I m embarrassed even sa ing it,
but Af e he d ne ha ing, he h le m i filled i h he i
a ing, I totall get that!
When fi begin eali e a e n ha e l ed and f ll belie ed l ed
i a c e na ci i , i i ha d belie e beca e ha e een hem in
ch a diffe en ligh f l ng. I i a ggle f he b ain ec ncile he man
man h gh e i ed i h he ne ha i n ea ing i h ch
ange and h ili . Thi i called c gni i e di nance, ha ing c m e ing
h gh in mind a he ame ime. Thi i a f he c nf ing and c a -
making feeling migh be e e iencing. I i ainf l and e ha ing.
A c e na ci i can a ea be a l ing a ne f a l ng ime. Thei
beha i f en bec me m e agg e i e a he end f he ela i n hi . Thi i
hen he na ci i ic ai li ed in he DSM-IV bec me m e b i ; he en e
f en i lemen , e i i , and a gan a i de bec me m e n nced. The
ill ill be c e i h he , b he i ill ee and e e ience m e f
he e ai c ming he face. Thei ma k c ack hen , he i ,
begin ing elf. The nge bec me, he le he can c n l and
mani la e . When hi ha en , he n l nge need . Y a e n l nge
l ing hem. Thi i hen feel hei age m e han e e . Thi i hen
hei beha i n agg e i e, c el, and h cking.
Af e ic im ha e lef he e ela i n hi , he l k back and eali e h
de e ed he e e f he maj i f he ela i n hi , h al ne he fel , h
he blamed hei c n an fa ig e, heal h i e , and adne n he hing , n
eali ing he ll he ela i n hi a aking n hei b d and i i . A a e l , i
i c mm n f ic im e e ience man heal h i e hile he a e in he e
ic ela i n hi . Thi i beca e c e na ci i l l b eak ii e
ime i h eeing i , and end feeling em i nall like e e he
blem, hich e l in h ical manife a i n f a i ailmen .
The c e na ci i i he c mm n i le f hi e nali di de . I named
hi b k The C e Pa i e-Agg e i e Na ci i beca e c e and a i e-