STARDUST

TRISTAN

Mother? (realises what hes done) Oh Mother, I’m so- I’m so sorry. Are-are you alright?

YVAINE

No, I’m not- I’m not and I’m not your mother so get off me!

TRISTAN

You’re not my mother?

YVAINE

Do I look like I’m your mother?

TRISTAN

(sheepishly smiles) No… sorry. (they separate) well are you okay? Do you want some help?

YVAINE

You can help by leaving me alone.

TRISTAN

Alright. (he turns to survey where he’s landed) Oh my god. ‘light the candle and think of me’
I was, I was thinking of my mothe- but then Victoria, and the star just popped into my- (he
looks around for the star on the ground) Oh excuse me, uh ma- madam, sorry uhm this may
seem strange but have you seen a fallen star anywhere?

YVAINE

Oh, you’re funny.

TRISTAN

No really, we’re in a crater this must be where it fell

YVAINE

Yeah this is where it fell. Or if you want to be really specific, up there is where this weird
bloody necklace came out of nowhere and knocked it out of the heavens where it was
minding its own business. And over there is where it landed. And right here, this is where it
got hit by a magical, flying moron.
TRISTAN

You’re the star. You’re the star? Really? Haha oh wow I’m sorry I- I had no idea you’d be a
haha- oh uhm may I just say in advance, that I am sorry.

YVAINE

Sorry for what?

TRISTAN

For this. (he chains her wrist) Now if I’m not mistaken, this means you have to come with
me. See you’re going to be a birthday gift for Victoria, my true love.

YVAINE

Ha- but of course, nothing says romance like the gift of a kidnapped, injured woman. I’m not
going anywhere with you.

*they both huff and sit on opposite sides of the crater*