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(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(WOMAN GROANING)
(BABY CRYING)
That’s unfortunate.
From an early age, I realized I saw the world differently than everyone else.
Look!
That’s ugly.
That’s cruel.
(GASPS)
CRUELLA: It wasn’t her I was challenging, it was the world.
Agreed.
Hey. What do you say to Cruella when she tries to get the better of you?
Goodbye, Cruella.
And friendly.
Well, that wasn’t much of a thing back in 1964, but it was about to be.
Ignore them.
(BOYS LAUGHING)
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
Enough.
ESTELLA: Hello.
There’s a dog?
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
You could say I pretty much roared my way through all of primary school.
Almost.
It’s too late because I withdrew her first, so that can’t be on her record.
Hadn’t.
Didn’t.
And might I say, your school seems to turn out horrible children with no
creativity or compassion.
Or genius.
(LOUDLY) Out!
Can we go here?
When we get to the city, first thing we’ll do, we’ll go to the fountain, and we’ll
have a cup of tea and we’ll start planning how to make this London thing
work.
What friend?
I promise.
When a girl like me makes a promise like that, you don’t take her to a place
like this.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Really?
Uh, Estella.
Serious voice.
Mum!
(SIGHS)
(GASPS)
Just a little.
CRUELLA: I figured while Mum was busy seeing her mysterious friend, I’d just
take a little peek.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
The problem was, that little peek pretty much blew my mind.
I just knew that for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged.
Buddy! No!
Got ya.
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(BARKS)
(DOGS BARKING)
(CROWD GASPS)
Oh, my goodness!
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
(ALL GASP)
(DOGS GROWL)
(DOGS BARKING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
And I will keep my mouth shut, and I will never come back here.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Mum!
(WHIMPERS)
(DOGS BARKING)
(SIGHS)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(BARKING)
(SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
No!
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
A woman… (SOBS)
(SNIFFING)
(SIREN BLARING)
(BUDDY WHIMPERING)
Regent’s Park.
But no tea.
No Mum.
I was an orphan.
(SOBS)
My necklace.
(CRYING)
Sad story.
Genius girl turns into stupid girl who gets her mother killed and ends up alone.
But a new day brings new opportunities or at least a couple of petty thieves.
Horace…
No, sorry.
Morning.
(BUDDY SNARLING)
Ow!
Again, annoying.
Buddy!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
Oi!
Stop!
Police!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(BUDDY BARKS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
Ya think?
(PANTING)
(SNIFFLES)
My mum’s dead.
It’s being discussed now. And we could use a girl to look innocent and be a
distraction.
(ESTELLA SOBBING)
Cripes!
(GASPS SOFTLY)
CRUELLA: Granted, being a thief is not exactly a mother’s dream, but she
was gone.
I promise.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
(SPITS)
We’re on!
Horace! Heads-up!
Get dressed!
…stealing stuff.
(BELL DINGS)
We’d steal.
We’d steal.
Design.
(SHOWER RUNNING)
(MAN VOCALIZING)
But as good as things were, I felt I was meant for more in this life.
(LAUGHING)
Hey! Psst!
(MAN VOCALIZING)
Just bored.
Run.
Good Lord!
(LAUGHS)
In a while.
Who’s Judy?
It doesn’t matter.
Oh, Judy.
…might be hungry.
(BLOWS)
Make a wish.
(ESTELLA CHUCKLES)
What’s this?
Entry-level position.
I love Liberty!
Yeah, I know you do. I see you look at it every time we pass.
If they ask you how you know Prince Charles, you just say it’s a polo thing.
Right.
Happy birthday.
No, there is… All right, I’ll tell you what, the angle is that Estella is way too
talented to be doing grifts with the likes of me and you.
Thanks, Jasper.
Trust me, I’m going to keep my head down and make it.
Cheers.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
WOMAN: On Tuesday?
(INHALES SHARPLY)
Not now.
Ah! Sir…
Not now.
(BOXES CLATTERING)
(SIGHS)
(COUGHS)
Not now.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Ah! (CHUCKLES)
Sir, I just wanted to say, I really am a dab hand with a needle if Alterations
could use anything.
Did you do all the bathrooms according to the regulations I gave you?
I did.
In that order?
Yes.
Hey!
Hi.
(BARKS)
Thank you.
(BARKS)
No.
What?
I’m not letting you in that window, so you can try and crack the safe.
There’s no angle.
(BARKS)
There’s no angle.
JASPER: Horace.
(GRUNTING)
Really?
Perfect.
Afternoon.
Lovely hat.
Other side.
(GAGS)
Okay.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
And, uh, when you come in tomorrow, try and remember to bring a brain.
(SIGHS)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
It would be cruel.
(SNORING)
(KNOCKING)
(EXCLAIMING)
Who’s… What…
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(GRUNTS)
Oh…
Hello.
Out! Out!
Thousand apologies.
(HORACE GROANING)
Horace, no!
I’m calling the police, vandal.
What?
The Baroness!
She’s coming!
No!
(PANTING)
(SHUSHING)
Let’s go!
Baroness.
She’s the vandal who messed up the whole new window display.
Hello.
Yes?
Jeffrey, card.
Card?
Teeth. Teeth.
(GAGS)
That girl put together a better window display than I’ve seen here for 10 years.
Hear, hear!
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
No.
So… (SIGHS)
CRUELLA: It’s funny how those happy accidents can change the whole
direction of your life.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Ah, you.
Right, okay.
Silence!
My last show was a triumph.
“Baroness designs stunned with her reinvention of the A-line with a bias cut
and higher line that…
(COUGHS)
“…reshapes the silhouette in such an audacious way the audience broke into
rapturous applause at first sight. She really is a genius.”
A triumph.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Window girl.
Looks. Right.
It’s foolish.
Unhinged.
Hmm.
(GASPS)
Just…
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
But I like to say that normal is the cruelest insult of them all and at least I
never get that.
I noticed that.
Right.
As the department stores that stock your range, we thought perhaps we could
give you some input.
Feedback.
My feedback.
You’re short, you’re fat, you smell like an anchovy, you’re color-blind, but you
pretend you aren’t.
Your revenues are down 15%, your foot traffic by 12 and a half.
And most of the funds meant for refurbs are being embezzled by you,
stashing them in Swiss bank account number 32254766 to be precise.
(DOOR OPENS)
Imbeciles.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Lunch, now.
Whoa!
Although he spends most of his time playing piano in a dingy little bar,
actually, he’s a good lawyer.
Hi.
Hi.
Piano’s nice.
Yes.
(GRUNTS)
Baroness.
Keep up, Estella.
Jewels.
Fabulous.
Show me.
Mmm.
Hmm.
Come along.
I made this.
Actually, it is.
(CHUCKLES)
Your necklace.
Oh.
(HESITATES) Sorry.
She stole this, was stupid enough to come back and then she fell off a cliff
and died.
How terrible.
Yes, it was, actually. It was during my winter ball and her death really
overshadowed the whole thing.
The story’s about how lucky I am, but anyway, she had a kid.
Kid’s a snowflake. Special, blah-blah-blah.
Maybe she…
Maybe she only had one person to take care of and she failed dismally.
(DOOR OPENS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Speak.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Oi.
You all right?
Stealing it.
Yeah.
(SIGHS)
(IN ENGLISH) Okay, the toilet’s just on the left, and then go straight down to
the end.
Thanks.
(ALARM RINGS)
ESTELLA: Then, all we need to do is disable the security system, bypass the
cameras, open the safe, steal the necklace during the biggest party of the
season.
So many people, her security will be stretched to the limit and just to be sure,
a distraction, where I get the key to the keypad and safe.
I’ve discovered she likes to throw women who offend her sensibilities out of
her parties.
Ow!
Sad women.
(WOMAN GASPS)
(GASPS)
But also stunningly dressed women who pull the focus off of her.
All right.
I guess.
Yes. Yes.
Maybe…
I want it back!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Right.
(GRUNTS)
What they do is, they get in, they bite posh people who then froth at the
mouth, their eyes spin in the back of their heads and then the posh people
die.
Freeze. Freeze.
(SNARLING)
(SCREAMING)
Well, don’t just stand there! Get in and get him out!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
ANITA: Baroness.
No color.
Here’s… to me.
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(MATCH STRIKES)
(ALL GASP)
Get her.
(GEORGE GROANS)
(ALL GASP)
(GROANS)
Is there a doctor?
(GROANS)
I’d like to remind you all that I’m doing this in heels.
What?
There are six of you, so obviously you’ll win, but the first two of you to arrive
are going to get very badly hurt.
Initiate plan B.
(WHIMPERING)
No. Get out! My wires! (GROANS IN DISGUST)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(BARKS)
Oi. Shh.
I look stunning.
Cruella.
Oh.
Mmm.
I fixed it.
(DOGS GROWLING)
And vicious.
(RATS SQUEAKING)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Well, I don’t have it, which is why I need to talk about it, which is why I’m here.
You’re funny.
(GROWLS)
All right, that’s enough. I’ve loved our little chat, but I’m afraid that now I’m
going to have to have you arrested, um, for trespassing.
(SCREAMING)
(BARKING)
(SCREAMING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(WHIMPERS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(CONTINUES BLOWING)
(DOGS GROWLING)
(IMPERCEPTIBLE)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(BUDDY WHIMPERS)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Well, here’s hoping there’s a plan C.
Yeah, but…
(TIRES SCREECH)
Get in!
Yeah.
(WINK BARKS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Whoa.
Whoa… I don’t.
(EXCLAIMS)
(PANTING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
It wasn’t my fault.
Revenge.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
(DOOR OPENS)
Morning, boys.
Morning.
It’s not part of the current plan, but we might need to be adaptable.
Darling, if I’m going to need to repeat myself a lot, this isn’t going to work out.
Need-to-know basis.
(SIGHS)
…work.
You know, I kept staring at you at the party, and then it came to me.
I’m Cruella.
So you go to parties and you take pictures and you print gossip?
Oh.
Why don’t we work together to create some buzz for this old rag
What glint?
Well, I’m starting to remember that you have a bit of an extreme side.
(LAUGHING)
You notice how some dog owners look a lot like their dogs?
Wink is a very likable dog. I’m not sure this plan will work.
It’ll work.
(RINGS)
(DOG GROWLS)
(WINK SNARLS)
(GROWLING)
Settle, Genghis.
(BARKING)
(WHIMPERS)
MAN: Oi!
(HORACE GRUNTS)
It’s you.
It is. And you’re reading about me.
I want to make art, Artie… and I want to make trouble. You in?
I do love trouble.
(DOGS BARKING)
(BARKING CONTINUES)
Yeah, well, can’t you walk ’em as well? There’s no “I” in team.
So don’t.
(DOG BARKING)
Seriously?
Voilà! Cruella was in a box a long time, now Estella can be the one who
makes guest appearances.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
Coincidence.
I do my best.
Mmm.
Come on.
Excuse me.
My spring collection.
Let me count.
CRUELLA: I was going to take the things she loved most… her business, her
status…
Zero.
I need ten pieces that work by 3:00 a.m.
Go.
Thank you.
(PHONE RINGING)
Go.
Mmm?
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
Oh, tournaments…
And of course, “Thank you for doing all my dirty work, guys.”
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD CLAMORING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD GASPS)
“Cruella.” Cruella.
(ROGER GRUNTS)
I’m more a lawyer than a detective, I…
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD GASPING)
I want ideas.
My dogs are missing, my necklace has been stolen and this Cruella creature
is… (CLEARS THROAT)
Go.
(HESITATES, CHUCKLES)
Hmm.
What? Hey!
Mmm.
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
Well, having been through the statute and talked to the police, I don’t know we
have a legal avenue for…
You do?
CRUELLA: Roger always blamed me for getting him fired, but the real reason
Roger was fired is because…
Hmm.
…he’s Roger.
Baroness.
I don’t know.
I… No, I…
Don’t cry.
You will.
(BARONESS CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(DETECTOR CHIRPING)
Nothing?
Nothing!
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
What, Estella?
Yeah.
It’s…
Stunning.
Hmm.
(CORK POPS)
(CHUCKLES)
Go.
Here’s to me.
(SCOFFS)
To me?
Inspiring talk.
Thank you.
If I had cared about anyone or thing, I might have died like so many brilliant
women with a drawer full of unseen genius and a heart full of sad bitterness.
I hope I do.
Hmm.
We just have to get rid of this… Cruella person, don’t you think?
Hmm.
I guess you must hate her.
Honestly?
I’m conflicted.
She is good.
(SNORING)
Really?
(MUNCHING)
(MUNCHING LOUDLY)
Oh, yeah.
(JASPER SIGHS)
(CONTINUES SNORING)
(ALARM RINGING)
What’s going on?
Who did?
Hmm.
(DOOR SLAMS)
Night.
(SNIFFS)
What?
I miss Estella.
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
Goal!
(BARKING CONTINUES)
(CHUCKLING WICKEDLY)
I’m joking.
(SCOFFS) Right.
Me, him, you. But we’ve always been there for each other.
No. Not Estella, that’s easy, but to help Cruella, it’s a nightmare.
(WHINES SOFTLY)
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
When Estella arrives, escort her to my office and hold her there.
Very good.
Speak.
(CRACKLING)
Oh!
(CRACKLING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(BLOWS)
That little…
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SINGING)
The music.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
(BUDDY WHINING)
Madam, welcome.
Mmm. Hello.
Okay.
No problem. No problem.
Hmm.
Questions are being raised over whether her coat was real Dalmatian.
(CRUELLA SINGING)
(CHUCKLES)
Cruella.
Wow.
Let Jasper and Horace, imbeciles that they are for letting you follow them, let
them go.
Dognapping?
Your murder.
Well, I’ll have to add your charred body to the mix to help the believability
factor.
Almost.
(GRUNTS)
(HORACE GROANS)
(CRUELLA GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
Uh-huh.
What?
Who exactly?
On a cliff.
I’m waiting.
(CRUELLA CHUCKLES)
Enough.
(CRUELLA GRUNTING)
Goodbye, Cruella.
Dogs.
(GRUNTING)
(BARKING)
I’d love them to know that you went out in a blaze of glory.
(CHUCKLING)
(GRUNTING)
(BARKING)
(GRUNTING, COUGHING)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
REPORTER 1: (ON TV) Breaking news, Cruella, best known for upstaging the
Baroness in the fashion world, has died tonight.
(TEAPOT WHISTLING)
(WHISTLING STOPS)
(GRUNTS)
What?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Why am I alive?
Because I dragged you out of the smoke and flames before they consumed
you.
In the fire.
(BUDDY WHINES)
JOHN: Mmm-hmm.
What’s it to?
This.
You.
(BARONESS GRUNTING)
I’m pregnant.
She took the necklace, but she had other plans for you.
CRUELLA: Stop.
The Baron was away on business, and she ordered me to do the unthinkable.
(BABY CRYING)
The point I’m making is, you are the rightful heir to the Baron’s entire fortune.
No.
(ENGINE REVVING)
POSTMAN: Oi!
I guess you were always scared, weren’t you, that I’d be a psycho like my real
mum?
Hmm?
That explains all the “tone it down, try and fit in” stuff.
And I tried.
But the thing is… I’m… not sweet Estella, try as I might.
I never was.
I’m Cruella, born brilliant, born bad and a little bit mad. (CHUCKLES)
I’m better.
Well, someone tipped them off and gave them the wrong tip.
Incompetent as always.
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXHALES)
Yeah.
Estella.
Estella.
No crying.
Forget Cruella.
(HORACE SIGHS)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HORN BLARES)
Shh!
I heard something.
(POLICEMEN SHOUTING)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
What?
Hey.
Wink!
Shh!
Wink!
Thank you.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
(BARKS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Want a ride?
You’re alive!
Oi!
Yeah, I’ve had enough of being treated like a dog, thank you. No offense,
Wink.
We did fine before you showed up, we’ll do fine without you.
I fancy a fry-up.
(SIGHS)
And then killed the sweetest woman, albeit a liar, who ever lived.
Well, thank you for the crumpets and the crazy story.
(GRUNTS)
CRUELLA: Jasper!
It’s funny.
I’m sorry.
You’re my family.
It’s working.
We’re going to need the home addresses and measurements of all the
guests.
Easy.
I like him.
Oh, yeah?
Hiya.
We’re closed.
(DOOR CLOSES)
You didn’t.
I didn’t.
But people do need a villain to believe in, so I’m happy to fit the bill.
Fabulous.
I am. Yes.
Sad, really.
It won’t be you.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Heya.
Sorry.
Big night.
Indeed it is.
Okay.
Mmm.
And I know that she caused it, but, you know, killing her is not gonna make
that go away.
I won’t.
I promise.
Thanks?
(HORN HONKS)
A Devil!
DeVille.
I like that.
Stand up straight.
Good.
It’s time.
Psst!
I hardly thought you meant you wanted me to kill your only child.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Well?
No, Baroness.
George, come here.
(GRUNTS)
Give it to me.
Hmm.
(TASER BUZZING)
(GROANS)
That’s marvelous.
(GASPS)
Indeed it should.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(GUARD GRUNTS)
Oh.
(GUARD GRUNTS)
(WOMAN GASPING)
(GUARD GRUNTS)
Sorry, ma’am.
Baroness, I…
Is she here?
(TUTTING)
(PHONE RINGS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Shh.
(TASER BUZZES)
Oh.
(GRUNTS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
What a great tribute to our dear friend who shall never return.
Sadly.
Touching.
To Cruella.
ALL: To Cruella!
Bravo!
(GROANING)
(SNARLS)
(GRUNTING)
(BARKS)
You’re dead!
(SIGHS)
I had him.
(IMPERCEPTIBLE)
Where is she?
(SCOFFS)
(DOOR BANGING)
(WINCES)
Find her.
Push! (GROANING)
(DALMATIANS GROWLING)
(GRUNTS)
(DALMATIANS GROWLING)
(GROWLING)
Get her!
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
Sit.
(DALMATIANS WHINING)
Hello, Cruella.
This is the key that was in the necklace that unlocks the box my birth
certificate was in.
Hello, Mother.
What?
A mistake.
I disagree.
Good evening.
Lovely.
Gentlemen, the Baroness would like to invite you outside, please.
You’re here because you’re a brilliant designer and a wicked genius and you
need to be among your own kind.
Me.
(SIREN BLARING)
You are?
I am.
Yes.
So funny.
I love it.
Idiot.
(GRUNTS)
(ALL GASPING)
(GASPS)
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
She jumped.
She jumped!
Poor thing.
Idiot.
(GRUNTS)
A few things.
Before she died, Estella willed her fortune to her dear friend…
Cruella de Vil.
Can’t you idiots see?
CRUELLA: The good thing about evil people is you can always trust them to
do something, well, evil.
Remember that.
Wrong someone, but there’s something about poetic justice that’s just so
poetic.
Goodbye, Estella.
(SNIFFLES)
Oh, man.
(HORACE GASPS)
It gives me a thrill
Original, criminal
Dressed to kill
I tried to be kind
Out of my mind
Be really blind
Cruella de Vil
It gives me a thrill
(HUMMING)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
(WHINING)
Cruella de Vil
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(WOMAN VOCALIZING)
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
(WOMAN GROANING)
(BABY CRYING)
That’s unfortunate.
From an early age, I realized I saw the world differently than everyone else.
Look!
That’s ugly.
That’s cruel.
(GASPS)
Agreed.
Hey. What do you say to Cruella when she tries to get the better of you?
Goodbye, Cruella.
And friendly.
Well, that wasn’t much of a thing back in 1964, but it was about to be.
Estella.
Ignore them.
(BOYS LAUGHING)
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
Enough.
ESTELLA: Hello.
There’s a dog?
(STUDENTS LAUGHING)
(GASPS)
You could say I pretty much roared my way through all of primary school.
Almost.
It’s too late because I withdrew her first, so that can’t be on her record.
Hadn’t.
Didn’t.
And might I say, your school seems to turn out horrible children with no
creativity or compassion.
Or genius.
(LOUDLY) Out!
(SIGHS) Well…
Can we go here?
When we get to the city, first thing we’ll do, we’ll go to the fountain, and we’ll
have a cup of tea and we’ll start planning how to make this London thing
work.
What friend?
I promise.
When a girl like me makes a promise like that, you don’t take her to a place
like this.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Really?
Uh, Estella.
Serious voice.
Mum!
(SIGHS)
(GASPS)
Just a little.
CRUELLA: I figured while Mum was busy seeing her mysterious friend, I’d just
take a little peek.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
The problem was, that little peek pretty much blew my mind.
I just knew that for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged.
Buddy! No!
Got ya.
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(BARKS)
(DOGS BARKING)
(CROWD GASPS)
Oh, my goodness!
(WOMAN EXCLAIMS)
(ALL GASP)
(DOGS GROWL)
(DOGS BARKING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
And I will keep my mouth shut, and I will never come back here.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Mum!
(WHIMPERS)
(DOGS BARKING)
(SIGHS)
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(BARKING)
(SCREAMING)
(GASPS)
No!
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
A woman… (SOBS)
(SIREN BLARING)
(BUDDY WHIMPERING)
Regent’s Park.
But no tea.
No Mum.
I was an orphan.
(SOBS)
My necklace.
(CRYING)
Sad story.
Genius girl turns into stupid girl who gets her mother killed and ends up alone.
But a new day brings new opportunities or at least a couple of petty thieves.
Horace…
No, sorry.
Morning.
(BUDDY SNARLING)
Ow!
Again, annoying.
Buddy!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
Oi!
Stop!
Police!
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
(BUDDY BARKS)
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
Ya think?
(PANTING)
(SNIFFLES)
My mum’s dead.
It’s being discussed now. And we could use a girl to look innocent and be a
distraction.
(ESTELLA SOBBING)
Is she crying again?
Cripes!
(GASPS SOFTLY)
CRUELLA: Granted, being a thief is not exactly a mother’s dream, but she
was gone.
I promise.
(SPITS)
We’re on!
Horace! Heads-up!
Get dressed!
…stealing stuff.
(BELL DINGS)
We’d steal.
I’d design.
We’d steal.
Design.
(SHOWER RUNNING)
(MAN VOCALIZING)
But as good as things were, I felt I was meant for more in this life.
(LAUGHING)
Hey! Psst!
(MAN VOCALIZING)
Just bored.
Run.
Good Lord!
(LAUGHS)
In a while.
Who’s Judy?
It doesn’t matter.
Oh, Judy.
…might be hungry.
(BLOWS)
Make a wish.
(ESTELLA CHUCKLES)
What’s this?
Entry-level position.
I love Liberty!
Yeah, I know you do. I see you look at it every time we pass.
Now, I might have padded out your CV a bit.
If they ask you how you know Prince Charles, you just say it’s a polo thing.
Right.
Happy birthday.
Yeah.
No, there is… All right, I’ll tell you what, the angle is that Estella is way too
talented to be doing grifts with the likes of me and you.
Thanks, Jasper.
Trust me, I’m going to keep my head down and make it.
Cheers.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
WOMAN: On Tuesday?
(INHALES SHARPLY)
Not now.
Ah! Sir…
Not now.
(BOXES CLATTERING)
(SIGHS)
(COUGHS)
Not now.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Ah! (CHUCKLES)
Sir, I just wanted to say, I really am a dab hand with a needle if Alterations
could use anything.
Did you do all the bathrooms according to the regulations I gave you?
I did.
In that order?
Yes.
Hey.
Hey!
Hi.
(BARKS)
Thank you.
(BARKS)
No.
What?
I’m not letting you in that window, so you can try and crack the safe.
That’s not the angle?
There’s no angle.
(BARKS)
There’s no angle.
JASPER: Horace.
(GRUNTING)
Really?
Perfect.
What?
Afternoon.
Lovely hat.
Other side.
(GAGS)
Okay.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
And, uh, when you come in tomorrow, try and remember to bring a brain.
(SIGHS)
(SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
It would be cruel.
(SNORING)
(KNOCKING)
(EXCLAIMING)
Who’s… What…
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(GRUNTS)
Oh…
Hello.
Out! Out!
Thousand apologies.
(HORACE GROANING)
Horace, no!
What?
The Baroness!
She’s coming!
No!
(PANTING)
(SHUSHING)
Let’s go!
Baroness.
Get her.
She’s the vandal who messed up the whole new window display.
Hello.
Yes?
Jeffrey, card.
Card?
Teeth. Teeth.
(GAGS)
That girl put together a better window display than I’ve seen here for 10 years.
Hear, hear!
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
No.
So… (SIGHS)
this was the angle, then?
CRUELLA: It’s funny how those happy accidents can change the whole
direction of your life.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Ah, you.
Right, okay.
Silence!
“Baroness designs stunned with her reinvention of the A-line with a bias cut
and higher line that…
(COUGHS)
“…reshapes the silhouette in such an audacious way the audience broke into
rapturous applause at first sight. She really is a genius.”
A triumph.
Window girl.
Looks. Right.
It’s foolish.
Unhinged.
Hmm.
(GASPS)
Just…
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
But I like to say that normal is the cruelest insult of them all and at least I
never get that.
I noticed that.
Right.
As the department stores that stock your range, we thought perhaps we could
give you some input.
Feedback.
Oh, great. I’ll start, shall I?
My feedback.
You’re short, you’re fat, you smell like an anchovy, you’re color-blind, but you
pretend you aren’t.
Your revenues are down 15%, your foot traffic by 12 and a half.
And most of the funds meant for refurbs are being embezzled by you,
stashing them in Swiss bank account number 32254766 to be precise.
Good day.
(DOOR OPENS)
Imbeciles.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Lunch, now.
Whoa!
Although he spends most of his time playing piano in a dingy little bar,
actually, he’s a good lawyer.
Hi.
Hi.
Piano’s nice.
Yes.
(GRUNTS)
Baroness.
Jewels.
Fabulous.
Show me.
Mmm.
Come along.
I made this.
Actually, it is.
(CHUCKLES)
Your necklace.
Oh.
She stole this, was stupid enough to come back and then she fell off a cliff
and died.
How terrible.
Yes, it was, actually. It was during my winter ball and her death really
overshadowed the whole thing.
The story’s about how lucky I am, but anyway, she had a kid.
Maybe she…
Maybe she only had one person to take care of and she failed dismally.
(DOOR OPENS)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Speak.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Oi.
Yeah.
(CONVERSING IN FRENCH)
(SIGHS)
(IN ENGLISH) Okay, the toilet’s just on the left, and then go straight down to
the end.
Thanks.
(ALARM RINGS)
ESTELLA: Then, all we need to do is disable the security system, bypass the
cameras, open the safe, steal the necklace during the biggest party of the
season.
So many people, her security will be stretched to the limit and just to be sure,
a distraction, where I get the key to the keypad and safe.
Ow!
Sad women.
(WOMAN GASPS)
(GASPS)
But also stunningly dressed women who pull the focus off of her.
All right.
I guess.
Maybe…
I want it back!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Right.
(GRUNTS)
Not tonight, son.
What they do is, they get in, they bite posh people who then froth at the
mouth, their eyes spin in the back of their heads and then the posh people
die.
Freeze. Freeze.
(SNARLING)
(SCREAMING)
Well, don’t just stand there! Get in and get him out!
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CAMERA CLICKS)
ANITA: Baroness.
Here’s… to me.
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(MATCH STRIKES)
(ALL GASP)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
Get her.
(GEORGE GROANS)
(ALL GASP)
(GROANS)
My arm. I think it’s broken.
Is there a doctor?
(GROANS)
I’d like to remind you all that I’m doing this in heels.
What?
There are six of you, so obviously you’ll win, but the first two of you to arrive
are going to get very badly hurt.
Initiate plan B.
(WHIMPERING)
(GROANS)
(GROANS)
(ALL EXCLAIM)
(BARKS)
Oi. Shh.
Oh, no.
I look stunning.
Cruella.
Oh.
Mmm.
I fixed it.
(DOGS GROWLING)
And vicious.
(RATS SQUEAKING)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Well, I don’t have it, which is why I need to talk about it, which is why I’m here.
You’re funny.
It’s not just rats. There’s mice, lizards…
(GROWLS)
All right, that’s enough. I’ve loved our little chat, but I’m afraid that now I’m
going to have to have you arrested, um, for trespassing.
(SCREAMING)
(BARKING)
(SCREAMING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(WHIMPERS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
Now it’s a party!
(CONTINUES BLOWING)
(DOGS GROWLING)
(IMPERCEPTIBLE)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(BUDDY WHIMPERS)
(ENGINE REVVING)
Yeah, but…
(TIRES SCREECH)
Get in!
Yeah.
(WINK BARKS)
Whoa.
Whoa… I don’t.
(EXCLAIMS)
(PANTING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
It wasn’t my fault.
Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)
(DOOR OPENS)
Morning, boys.
Morning.
It’s not part of the current plan, but we might need to be adaptable.
Darling, if I’m going to need to repeat myself a lot, this isn’t going to work out.
Need-to-know basis.
(SIGHS)
…work.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
You know, I kept staring at you at the party, and then it came to me.
I’m Cruella.
So you go to parties and you take pictures and you print gossip?
Oh.
Why don’t we work together to create some buzz for this old rag
What glint?
Well, I’m starting to remember that you have a bit of an extreme side.
(LAUGHING)
You notice how some dog owners look a lot like their dogs?
Wink is a very likable dog. I’m not sure this plan will work.
It’ll work.
(DOG GROWLS)
(WINK SNARLS)
(GROWLING)
Settle, Genghis.
(BARKING)
(WHIMPERS)
MAN: Oi!
(HORACE GRUNTS)
It’s you.
I want to make art, Artie… and I want to make trouble. You in?
I do love trouble.
HORACE: I’m not the enemy! Stop that!
(DOGS BARKING)
(BARKING CONTINUES)
Yeah, well, can’t you walk ’em as well? There’s no “I” in team.
So don’t.
(DOG BARKING)
Seriously?
Voilà! Cruella was in a box a long time, now Estella can be the one who
makes guest appearances.
(LAUGHS WICKEDLY)
Coincidence.
I do my best.
Mmm.
Come on.
(ESTELLA CLEARS THROAT)
Excuse me.
My spring collection.
Let me count.
CRUELLA: I was going to take the things she loved most… her business, her
status…
Zero.
Go.
Thank you.
(PHONE RINGING)
Got it. Thank you.
Go.
Mmm?
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
Oh, tournaments…
And of course, “Thank you for doing all my dirty work, guys.”
(REPORTERS CLAMORING)
(CROWD CLAMORING)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD GASPS)
“Cruella.” Cruella.
(ROGER GRUNTS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD GASPING)
I want ideas.
My dogs are missing, my necklace has been stolen and this Cruella creature
is… (CLEARS THROAT)
Go.
(HESITATES, CHUCKLES)
Hmm.
What? Hey!
Mmm.
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMS)
(LAUGHING)
Well, having been through the statute and talked to the police, I don’t know we
have a legal avenue for…
You do?
CRUELLA: Roger always blamed me for getting him fired, but the real reason
Roger was fired is because…
Hmm.
…he’s Roger.
Baroness.
I… No, I…
Don’t cry.
You will.
(BARONESS CHUCKLES)
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(DETECTOR CHIRPING)
Nothing?
Nothing!
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
What, Estella?
Yeah.
It’s…
Stunning.
Hmm.
(CORK POPS)
(CHUCKLES)
Go.
Here’s to me.
(SCOFFS)
To me?
Inspiring talk.
Thank you.
If I had cared about anyone or thing, I might have died like so many brilliant
women with a drawer full of unseen genius and a heart full of sad bitterness.
I hope I do.
Hmm.
We just have to get rid of this… Cruella person, don’t you think?
Hmm.
Honestly?
I’m conflicted.
She is good.
Really?
(MUNCHING)
(MUNCHING LOUDLY)
Oh, yeah.
(JASPER SIGHS)
(CONTINUES SNORING)
(ALARM RINGING)
Who did?
Hmm.
(DOOR SLAMS)
Night.
(SNIFFS)
What?
I miss Estella.
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
Goal!
(BARKING CONTINUES)
(CHUCKLING WICKEDLY)
I’m joking.
(SCOFFS) Right.
Me, him, you. But we’ve always been there for each other.
(WHINES SOFTLY)
(GROWLS SOFTLY)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
When Estella arrives, escort her to my office and hold her there.
Very good.
Speak.
Oh!
(CRACKLING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(BLOWS)
That little…
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Cruella!
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SINGING)
The music.
(CROWD CHEERING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
(BUDDY WHINING)
(WHINES)
Madam, welcome.
Mmm. Hello.
Okay.
No problem. No problem.
Hmm.
Questions are being raised over whether her coat was real Dalmatian.
(CRUELLA SINGING)
(CHUCKLES)
Cruella.
Wow.
Let Jasper and Horace, imbeciles that they are for letting you follow them, let
them go.
Dognapping?
Your murder.
Well, I’ll have to add your charred body to the mix to help the believability
factor.
Almost.
(GRUNTS)
(HORACE GROANS)
(CRUELLA GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
Uh-huh.
What?
Who exactly?
On a cliff.
I’m waiting.
(CRUELLA CHUCKLES)
Enough.
(CRUELLA GRUNTING)
Goodbye, Cruella.
Dogs.
(GRUNTING)
(BARKING)
I’d love them to know that you went out in a blaze of glory.
(CHUCKLING)
(GRUNTING)
(BARKING)
(GRUNTING, COUGHING)
REPORTER 1: (ON TV) Breaking news, Cruella, best known for upstaging the
Baroness in the fashion world, has died tonight.
(TEAPOT WHISTLING)
(WHISTLING STOPS)
(GRUNTS)
What?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Why am I alive?
Because I dragged you out of the smoke and flames before they consumed
you.
(BUDDY WHINES)
JOHN: Mmm-hmm.
What’s it to?
This.
You.
(BARONESS GRUNTING)
(BARONESS SCREAMS)
I’m pregnant.
She took the necklace, but she had other plans for you.
CRUELLA: Stop.
You keep saying “you.”
The Baron was away on business, and she ordered me to do the unthinkable.
(BABY CRYING)
The point I’m making is, you are the rightful heir to the Baron’s entire fortune.
No.
(ENGINE REVVING)
POSTMAN: Oi!
I guess you were always scared, weren’t you, that I’d be a psycho like my real
mum?
Hmm?
That explains all the “tone it down, try and fit in” stuff.
And I tried.
But the thing is… I’m… not sweet Estella, try as I might.
I never was.
I’m Cruella, born brilliant, born bad and a little bit mad. (CHUCKLES)
I’m better.
Incompetent as always.
(EXCLAIMS)
(EXHALES)
Yeah.
Estella.
Estella.
No crying.
Forget Cruella.
(HORACE SIGHS)
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
(HORN BLARES)
Shh!
I heard something.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
What?
Hey.
Wink!
Shh!
Wink!
Thank you.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
(BARKS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Want a ride?
Oi!
Yeah, I’ve had enough of being treated like a dog, thank you. No offense,
Wink.
We did fine before you showed up, we’ll do fine without you.
I fancy a fry-up.
(SIGHS)
And then killed the sweetest woman, albeit a liar, who ever lived.
Well, thank you for the crumpets and the crazy story.
(GRUNTS)
CRUELLA: Jasper!
We’re in a kill-or-be-killed situation here.
It’s funny.
I’m sorry.
You’re my family.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
It’s working.
Easy.
I like him.
Oh, yeah?
Hiya.
We’re closed.
(DOOR CLOSES)
You didn’t.
I didn’t.
But people do need a villain to believe in, so I’m happy to fit the bill.
Fabulous.
I am. Yes.
Sad, really.
It won’t be you.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Heya.
Sorry.
Big night.
Indeed it is.
Okay.
Mmm.
And I know that she caused it, but, you know, killing her is not gonna make
that go away.
I won’t.
I promise.
Thanks?
(HORN HONKS)
A Devil!
DeVille.
I like that.
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
Stand up straight.
Good.
It’s time.
Psst!
I hardly thought you meant you wanted me to kill your only child.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Well?
No, Baroness.
(GRUNTS)
Give it to me.
Hmm.
(TASER BUZZING)
(GROANS)
That’s marvelous.
(GASPS)
Indeed it should.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(GUARD GRUNTS)
Oh.
(WOMAN GASPING)
(GUARD GRUNTS)
Sorry, ma’am.
Baroness, I…
Is she here?
(TUTTING)
(PHONE RINGS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Shh.
(TASER BUZZES)
Oh.
(GRUNTS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
What a great tribute to our dear friend who shall never return.
Sadly.
Touching.
To Cruella.
ALL: To Cruella!
Bravo!
(GROANING)
(SNARLS)
(GRUNTING)
(BARKS)
You’re dead!
(SIGHS)
I had him.
Where is she?
(SCOFFS)
(DOOR BANGING)
(WINCES)
Find her.
Push! (GROANING)
(DALMATIANS GROWLING)
(GRUNTS)
(DALMATIANS GROWLING)
(GROWLING)
Get her!
(DALMATIANS BARKING)
Sit.
(DALMATIANS WHINING)
Hello, Cruella.
Hello, Mother.
What?
A mistake.
I disagree.
Good evening.
Lovely.
You’re here because you’re a brilliant designer and a wicked genius and you
need to be among your own kind.
Me.
You are?
I am.
Yes.
So funny.
I love it.
Idiot.
(GRUNTS)
(ALL GASPING)
(GASPS)
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
She jumped.
She jumped!
Poor thing.
Idiot.
(GRUNTS)
A few things.
Before she died, Estella willed her fortune to her dear friend…
Cruella de Vil.
CRUELLA: The good thing about evil people is you can always trust them to
do something, well, evil.
Estella would die like her mother did.
Remember that.
Wrong someone, but there’s something about poetic justice that’s just so
poetic.
Goodbye, Estella.
(SNIFFLES)
(SIGHS)
Oh, man.
(HORACE GASPS)
It gives me a thrill
Original, criminal
Dressed to kill
Out of my mind
Be really blind
Cruella de Vil
It gives me a thrill
(HUMMING)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
(WHINING)
Cruella de Vil
(WOMAN VOCALIZING)