How was Christmas Eve darling?

Awful! Words can’t describe

how terrible it was.

Why? What happened?

Well, you know that the elves are on
strike. The pixies haven’t got a clue
about loading presents. It took five
I told you not to cut the elves’
hours just to get the sleigh ready.
Christmas bonuses. If you’d
listened to me you wouldn’t have
But we’re in crisis! Anyway, when we had this situation.
finally finished the reindeers couldn’t
fly. The elves had forgotten to give
them the magic hay.
If you’d fed them the night before
they would have been ready.
Yes dear. When we finally set
off it was cloudy so I couldn’t
If you’d bought a new GPS for the
use the North Star to navigate.
sleigh instead of leather seats you
wouldn’t have had a problem.
I know that now! When we finally got
to England half the houses had guard
dogs. I’m not as quick as I used to be. Oh dear. Do you want me to
One of the little monsters bit my ankle. look at that for you?

Don’t worry it’s only a scratch. It would have been much easier if
you’d borrowed the invisibility
cloak from your friend Harry!
I suppose so. I’m just glad it’s all over.

Just think. If you’d become a teacher

like your father wanted you to, you
That’s becoming more
wouldn’t have had to work Christmas
appealing every year!
Eve.

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 Hi honey, I’m home.
Hi Elvis. Did you have a good night?

No I didn’t. I don’t know why I

do this job. The elves do the
hard work and Santa gets all
the glory.
If you’d finished your law
degree we could have been
living it up in Miami now.
Don’t remind me. The cold in
the North Pole makes my nose
red.
It wouldn’t have become so
bad if you’d used the cream I
gave you.
Cream’s for girls. Anyway, we
can’t afford to keep buying
expensive moisturiser.
If only Santa had paid the
Christmas bonuses. We could
have bought more moisturiser
and some new thermal elf suits.

That does it. This year I’m sending

my CV to el Corte Inglés. Surely
they need elves in their toy
section. If you’d listened to me you would
have done that a long time ago.

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