How importantisa
positive mindset, really?
Toxic positivity is bad, but optimism
has been linked to greater physical
wellbeing. So which is it?In 1952, the American Protestant minister Norman
Vincent Peale published The Power of Positive
Thinking, a self-help book intended to help readers
develop greater optimism. Its tips included, “Picture
yourself succeeding” and “Think a positive thought to
drown out a negative thought”. The book, light on
science and heavy on unsubstantiated anecdotes, was
widely criticized by mental health experts at the time.
Many called the techniques simplistic and ineffective,
and denounced Peale as a conman. Nonetheless, the
book spent 186 weeks on the New York Times
bestseller list, 48 in the No 1 spot
Despite the substantial
More on this topic criticism of his concepts, it’s
Everyone hasan not hard to spot Peale’s
opinion - but my continued influence today. It’s
gutis telling me on social media, in viral
differently.Should] — ,anifestation practices and
trust it?
“lucky girl syndrome”. It’s in
marketing for fitness tracking
apps and multi-level marketing companies. And it’s in
politics: Donald Trump grew up attending Peale’s
ministry in Manhattan, and has described him as “the
greatest guy”.
All of this can make positive thinking seem, at best,
like a marketing scheme, and at worst, a tool for world
leaders to empower themselves as they rend the fabric
of society. “Toxic positivity” has become a buzzword
in recent years, and critics have pointed out the
myriad flaws of a “just be positive!” approach to
problems. At the same time, studies have found that
optimism is associated with better mental and
physical health outcomes.So what are we to make of all this? Is a positive
mindset good for us or neutral at best? How are
positivity and optimism different? And is there a
sensible way to cultivate a more hopeful outlook?
What isa positive mindset?
Though positive thinking - the practice of focusing on
the positive rather than the negative - and optimism
are often used interchangeably, they are slightly
different.
“Optimism is a relatively stable personality trait,”
explains Dr Carsten Wrosch, a psychology professor at
Concordia University who has studied optimism.
Optimism, he says, is not an emotion; it is a way of
seeing the world, an expectation that the future will be
good rather than bad.
What determines whether you have an optimistic
personality is complicated. It’s partly genetics, says
Wrosch. It also depends on your early childhood
interactions with your caregivers - relationship
dynamics that form the foundation for whether you
expect good or bad things to happen - as well as your
life experiences. As Whitney Goodman, therapist and
author of Toxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World
Obsessed with Being Happy explains, people who have
experienced trauma or mental illness can often be
labeled as negative. “But it’s just a result of the
experiences that this person has had in the world, and
anyone might orient themselves that way if they had
those experiences.”
So positive thinking will come more naturally to some
people than others.What are the benefits of optimism?
Optimism has been associated with many positive
health benefits. Wrosch says this is due in part to how
optimists handle stress. For one, he says, optimists are
more likely to successfully overcome challenges
because they are less likely than pessimists to engage
in avoidant behavior. If you are having relationship
problems, for example, and you believe there is hope
for a positive outcome, you are more likely to address
the problems directly rather than sweep them under
the rug. And if a stressful situation is out of their
control, optimists are more likely to accept it and
either remove themselves from the situation or come
to terms with it.
Optimists have also been found
Well actually to create more supportive social
Living a good life | networks, Wrosch says, which in
inacomplex world turn further helps them deal
with adversity and contributes to
their overall wellbeing. He says
there is also data to suggest that
optimists put more effort into their relationships, and
therefore get more support in return.One of the greatest benefits of optimism is that it
doesn’t carry all of the negative health effects that
come along with chronic stress and negativity.
“Thinking negatively and going down that rabbit hole
starts showing up in your body physically,’ says Amber
Dee, the founder and CEO of Black Female Therapists.
Dee says symptoms can include short-term effects like
breakouts, fatigue, stomach aches and headaches; in
the long term, chronic stress has been associated with
increased risk of heart disease.
What is healthy optimism versus toxic positivity?
“I think [positivity] was really weaponized to be this
cure-all for any problem, any ailment in the world,”
says Goodman. She says she started her work on toxic
positivity because she was seeing so many of her
clients berating themselves for not being more
positive, no matter what difficulties they were
experiencing. “There was this feeling of, ‘I should be
more positive, I should be more grateful? and they
were almost punishing themselves when that did not
come easy to them, or they were not able to fix a
problem through positive thinking.”This pressure to be cheerful has especially been
weaponized against minority communities, says M
Nicholson Battle Jr, a counselor and president of the
National Association of Black Counselors. Battle says
that in workplaces, for example, many people of color
feel pressured to exaggerate their positive emotions
and downplay their negative ones in order to be heard.
“We have to be overly happy, overly excited, overly
positive just to be seen on the same level as everyone
else,” he says. “We can’t point out the fact that
something bad could possibly happen, because now
we're being negative. Where other folks can be
passionate about something, we’re angry about it.”
4A {t becomes unhealthy when
people are unable to hold any
emotion that isn't positive
Whitney Goodman, therapist and
author
Toxic positivity, in other words, is used by yourself or
others to drown out all other emotions and
experiences.
“A healthy degree of optimism would be when we’re
able to hold space for reality, our fears, and our
concerns, and the potential for things to work out and
go well,” says Goodman. “It becomes unhealthy when
people are unable to hold any emotion that isn’t
positive.”
How do you effectively cultivate positivity?
According to experts, the method is a little
counterintuitive: cultivating healthy positivity
invalvee making cnace for negative emotionc a“The people who tend to struggle with optimism the
most are people who are shaming themselves for their
feelings,’ says Goodman.
Sitting with negative feelings can be tough for people
who didn’t grow up learning to do it, and Goodman
says therapy is helpful for learning the skills. But the
first step, Goodman says, is figuring out what you’re
actually experiencing. “Learn how to label your
feelings, and learn what that experience is like for you,
physically and mentally, when you’re having negative
feelings.”
. . Experts also recommend
More on this topic ‘ A
managing our expectations,
Does an unhappy and being clear about what you
partner make you want and what makes you
less happy? happy rather than pursuing
what social media or
commercials say will make you happy. “Be realistic,”
says Dee. “How can you take actionable steps towards
that, and then celebrate your progress along the way?
Even the smallest steps help.”
Battle adds that it’s also important to look for
positives, no matter how small they may seem. “It can
literally be: this morning I woke up, I brushed my
teeth, I washed my face, and I got out the door on
time,” he says.
Finally, Dee says one of the most important parts of
having a positive outlook is community. “A mindset is
really cultivated in your social environment,” she says.
“Surround yourself with people who genuinely
support you and trust you and that you trust.” If you’re
still struggling with chronic negative thoughts, she
adds: “I’m biased, but reach out to a therapist.”