5 Effective Ways for Dealing With Shyness

 Alix Needham
 Self Confidence

5 Effective Ways for Dealing With Shyness

Many of us are struggling with shyness or social anxiety. Overcoming

shyness is a goal many people are looking for. Because overcoming this
anxiety opens up more possibilities and freedom in life. In addition phobias of
any type are painful, but a social phobia is particularly debilitating .This is
because meeting people can rarely be avoided. In my London practice I use
hypnotherapy to help clients find ways of dealing with shyness. As well as
building self-worth and confidence.

Here are 5 ways to start freeing yourself from social anxiety and shyness.

Identify Your Negative Thoughts

People who experience intense shyness usually have negative thought

patterns. These thoughts can increase their fear of social interaction. You can
train yourself to take a step back and stop these negative thoughts before
they raise your anxiety to a destructive level. These unhelpful thoughts might
include:

Mind reading – assuming you know what other people are thinking about
you.

Fortune telling – attempting to predict the future based on previous bad

experiences or bad things you ‘know’ will happen.
Catastrophizing – assuming the worst will always happen if you take a
chance. Only entertaining the idea of the worst possible outcome.

Self-fixation – becoming overly fixated on your thoughts, behaviours and

appearance and assuming others are doing the same.

Rational Challenge & Positive Affirmations

Once you have identified your negative or false beliefs, the next step is to
challenge them with rational thought and replace them with positive
affirmations.

For example, if you’re feeling anxious about going to a party because you’re
worried what people might think of you, what you will say or that people don’t
like you.

Challenging this thought with a more realistic outlook is helpful. You were
invited to the party because people want you there. Most people will be too
busy enjoying themselves to pay you too much unwanted attention. Everyone
is there to have fun. In addition, build up positive affirmations in your mind –
“the party will go well. I am relaxed and funny. I can visualise myself enjoying
it.”

Focusing On Others

1.

We all need a certain amount of self-focus and awareness in order to monitor

our own behaviour. However, most people who are shy have too much and
become fixated on every little detail of their behaviour.
Try to relax and let go. Be authentic and focus more on others or your
environment. Ask questions, get to know others, listen carefully and build
rapport. You’ll find that if you focus more on others you naturally shift the
focus away from yourself.

1.

Practice Relaxation and Mindfulness Skills

2.

If you find your anxiety levels building up, it’s useful to have some techniques
in reserve to help you control them. Positive mantras, breathing exercises,
meditation and relaxation techniques can all be helpful and called upon when
you feel tense.

1.

Desensitise Gradually

2.

Write a list of your shyness triggers and order them by severity. Starting with
the less extreme, gradually begin to expose yourself to situations that make
you feel uncomfortable and use your new techniques to become more
comfortable with them.

Set yourself small goals at first and reward accomplishments. Find places that
make you feel calmer – perhaps a park or zoo – and work your way up to
busier or more intense situations. As you start to make progress you will be
rewarded by the new opportunities that open up to you.